That's crazy Casey right now. Yeah, And you know who really will have
none of this is Kyle under a protest. He goes outside and actually shotguns
a fucking can. A lover boy takes a piss and says, this pictures
peace stream I've ever seen in my life slid up by some fucking That was
his uh, that was his Rosa Parks moment. Dylan, can you not
fucking do that? Can you not equate drink the water the bravery that Kyle
demonstrated this evening to what Rosa Parks did. Please, There's a lot of
stuff on TV. It's good Jim tracks a lot of it. Dad TV,
Hilo, welcome to another brand. Spaking too said of bad television.
That is long for bad TV. Have you had a couple of pops?
Because I'm coming from a drinks with friends, I'm a little toasted. I've
had half a claw. Okay, Well I am, like I said,
a little toasted, and I'm Dylan in a hello and that's hello, that's
pat. I couldn't tell you you're a little frosty. I couldn't tell.
Really, I had the last word. What's that mean? Well, it's
gin excuse me? Sorry, it's gin and green sharks, ruse and Maraschino
liquor and lime juice? Was that based on your uh, that cocktail on
your ex girlfriend? Because that bitch always had the last word? So you
had a cocktail, you know? It was so and and this episode and
thank you because I could not talk about the show for a long time,
but when I saw something like that, it just reminded me to not be
so cynical about things because on the outside, obviously one of the dumbest things
that you know, any group of friends could ever gather around and do.
But one of them grabbed trash. Well, Casey's I mean, she should
be institutionalized, but she's hilarious. She is kind of funny. She doesn't
belong on this show, she said in the episode hooking Up his fun But
what she's really here to do is ski so you can get the hell out
of here. With that attitude, you can leave. But they all,
they did such a great summer camp enthusiastic job with that insanely dumb thing that
Tom laid out for everybody was really sweet. It was timed at some it
made no sense, and Casey did grab a bag of trash. I think
that extra alcohol had been sitting there for twelve hours, had ants in it.
Yeah, I don't know. All right, all right, public service
announcements. We're getting ahead of ourselves. That's my fault. There you go,
oh, public service announcements. Yeah oh. Head on over to Patreon
dot com, Slash another podcast network. If you're enjoying our coverage of Winterhouse
and you like us talk about sea rats, We're going to give you more
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is amazing. There's a guy named Bobby on the boat. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, you remember Bobby. So go to Patreon dot com, Slash
another podcast network, donate a little and if you can a little bit more.
I feel like I'm not paying Winterhouse the respect that I'm not sure if
it deserves or not. Right, you know, I've just shown up in
here. I'm I'm a little tipsy, you know, which is unprofessional.
I don't really ever do that. I'm drunk every episode. All right,
Well, this is a show about you know, nothing is a very kind
of It can be a philosophical concept and many would argue that you know,
in the halls of academia and the highways and byways of Oxford and whatnot,
there are people that are mulling over is there less than nothing? And many
of them, I'm sure, after reading I don't know, Heidegger and whatever
the fuck they read, would arrive at the conclusion that no, there cannot
be anything less than absolute nothing. And to them, I would say,
tune in Tuesday Rights and watch this show because it is like quantum breaking about
nothing this show. It was a crazy episode again, not enjoyable, but
I can't wait to get into it. Zero snowballs picture I've ever seen in
my life, split up by some fun I think that in Capula capulates the
entire series. I really, I truly do. All right, Dylan,
I enjoy you see what I'm saying though, right? Oh? Absolutely absolutely
this So this was episode three. What I find fun about the show is
just the hierarchy of the guys. Women are gonna, Okay, there are
shots, But what I find fascinating is there is definitely an alpha, and
there's definitely a runt. It's definitely a runt, yeah, and that's Batman
and Batman's Piggy and I feel bad for Batman because Batman is piggy, yes,
and there's a whole bunch of moves going on here. I'm gonna key
in on Alex. I don't think Alex is nearly as into Danielle as he
is putting on. I don't even think he's putting it on. Well,
yeah, he kind of to hurries to everyone else. I think he's coming
in here with the game plan to exploit his fifteen minutes on whatever season of
Below Deck he was on and kind of get himself as one of these revolving
door cast members that either end up on Summerhouse or Winterhouse. So a for
effort, you're still a creep. Okay, I I know he grosses me
out because he got the most amazing edit on Below Deck and then he comes
on here and his opening line the first ten minutes is he doesn't like to
wear condoms. And then you realize he won a flirt of the biggest flirt
in his senior year and he's really just a crash crass idiot. Okay,
So WHOA Am I being too negative? No? No, no, listen,
I just I am having a visceral reaction because I don't feel that way
about Alex. I feel like Alex is uh. He doesn't have a great
strategy when it comes to women, and it's a little uh. He literally
throws everything at the wall. Yeah, it's a little too full court press.
But he is nothing compared to Corey. He is nothing compared to Corey.
Corey titan avawful Cory. Here's the thing. Corey, for a lot
of the cast members, is obviously a eight or nine in their eyes.
He is four more years, in a few more cases of butt light from
being like a three. He's not a really good looking guy. He looks
like a Bowery boy. And it's right now, it's working for him.
But oh my god, it's so crazy because the confidence is it's this kind
of like lull into understatedly like I'm not a douchebag kind of thing. Maybe
I'm an onion. You just got to peel back some layers. And then
once he starts to feel himself and listen, I don't want to sound like
this, but the fucking misogyny and the the Ivory towerness and the self absorption
is just it makes my fucking head explode. To me, he's Mike.
The situation and we all know how Mike the situation turned out. He literally
looks like a guy that was catching those little rivets and then pounding him into
the Empire State Building. You know, Carrity's lunching a little fucking bucket,
you know what I mean. And he's like ninety thousand feet in the air
and he's not afraid of heights, right, and he doesn't fall, He
just lives and develops a drinking problem. Correct, And that just Mike the
situation looks like Corey. Yeah, well to put it at Ruby put it
last week and we'll move on. But he went up to a girl who
was changing into her comfy clothes and said that she wasn't doing it sexy enough.
Yes, yeah, that's that's Corey. When girls are attracted to you
get to say misogynist things like that and it comes off as flirting. Yeah.
Anyway, this episode was fun. I love the show. It's about
absolutely nothing. Forty snowballs. So we last left off. Oh dyal sorry.
Saturday March twelfth, eleven fifty eight pm. It's the Sexy Pirate Party,
as that is the theme of a party, right, Jordan is hitting
on Corey and I'm sorry to see it. Jordan, I really am.
I like Jordan. Jordan's having a pressure cooker kind of mental breakdown. I
mean, at the end of this episode, what we witnessed was again nothing
short of a full blown until breakdown. You've been drinking for four days straight,
You're in a house with idiots, and you are losing your mind,
and that's what happens. That's the very end of you losing your mind.
As the understatem of the year, I of course do not want to get
ahead of myself, but I will. I do want to point to the
end of the episode. In the drama, Jordan was crying because she wanted
to do a little smoochy smooch with a guy who has a girlfriend and just
another girl also, Jordan, Correa has no interest in smoochy smooching with you.
And all you're gonna do is try to do this thing where you kiss
him and then you say no, You're gonna have to earn the rest.
He's gonna face push you, go eat a sandwich and go down on Malia
and then call his girlfriend after and he doesn't care how's your day? He
does not care about you? So all right, can we get to Danielle
and Alex. Okay, So where we last left off, as they were
sucking some face in the coops, Now something thing happens here. Danielle in
an Austin Powers part two type of way, has lost her moji okay,
and Alex is merely a vessel to get that back, and then she'll prompt
him to go on his first crush Jordan. Yeah, and the mojo is
a a silver tipped beaker of purple goo. But she's lost. Yeah.
She says that she's blown away that she made out with a sexy pirate.
You didn't, you made out with a sea rat. Easy to confuse,
but very very different, very different. Tom and Kyle are both ready to
pour one another's hearts out onto one another. Oh no to respective parties Malia
and Okay, I think, so this is so okay. So this is
where Swartz and Katie are getting to know one another. And then Kyle and
Malia, who are now the matchmakers, sitting in the corner because they want
Katie and Swartz to hook up. But we learned that Katie is attracted to
emotionally unavailable men. Well, you wouldn't work on yachts if you weren't that?
I mean, wow, is that true? And then uh then Tom
lies to us. He tells us that he's never had a bad breakup.
Did he really say yeah? He said he said like amicable like three times
I watched the show. Dude, Yeah, I don't think so. Katie
hates you, but to be fair to him, he has no idea what's
going on generally, and Katie hates everybody. True, So with those two
things in mind, it seems pretty amicable. From Meanwhile, Danielle and Alex
are sucking face in the closet. This is getting hot and heavy pretty quick.
Huh y, just put it and see how you like it. She
needs to get her mojo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I want
to take a dive into Malia and this. There will be three occasions in
this episode where the female cast who'd love to fuck Corey. I want to
just really get down on what his relationship status is. And that's beautiful that
what the women are trying to do is figure out how broken their moral compass
is going to be should they make this decision. And you got to give
them credit for that because Corey wouldn't ask those questions. Men don't care about
that the way that these women do. So it's it's adverbs. You know
what you're doing? Are you daty someone? I'm not going to ask that
question. That could ruin the moment. What if she says yes? Well,
anyway, Corey once again dances around the question and the only way that
he could get away with this stating but they see each other every month and
then they just spit in each other's mouth and that's pretty much it. Yeah.
Yeah, then we get to Crazy Kid. Oh yeah, it's awesome.
I mean, it's just so funny how the kids are just you know,
I mean, it's just nuts. The Corey and Sam they just get
together and they spit in each other's mouth. They do once a month.
That's it. He says. They're in limbo. So Crazy Casey goes around
telling people to hydrate, and it's done so in a manner that you would
see in an insane asylum. So let's say everybody has break time, right,
and everybody's in the fluorescent lit room where there are the you know,
the vinyl or leather chairs, and people are drooling and shit, and there's
that one guy that keeps walking up and down the hallway saying I'm not gonna
baby send anybody tomorrow on the slopes, and they just know that that guy's
fuck crazy and no medicine in the world will help. That's crazy Casey right
now. Yeah, And you know who really will have none of this is
Kyle under a protest. He goes outside and actually shotguns a fucking can.
A lover boy, takes a piss and says, this picturesque stream I've ever
seen in my life slid up by some fucking candle. That was his uh,
that was his Rosa Parks moment, Dylan, mm hmm. Can you
not fucking do that? Can you not equate drink the water the bravery that
Kyle demonstrated this evening to what Rosa Parks did. Please, it's very fucking
insulting. So, okay, Dell, sorry to be talking a lot on
this show. Okay, there is you know, when a pattern starts,
you're not talking a lot. Oh I'm not. Okay, Okay, you're
busting me up right now, man. Okay, So Kyle's out there taking
a piss, painting the snow, having his moment, and this is when
a pattern starts to form with Danielle or a pattern in my mind starts for
him. Do you remember when last season when she was going through the drive
through a Jack in the Box and as soon as she ordered her two monster
taco she told the guy that took the order she couldn't believe Carl and Lindsay
didn't tell her. Yeah, they were get engaged. Turns out Danielle shares
aspects of her life with everyone. Did you see post making out with Alex?
She walks around the entire house and she'll tell anybody who will listen that
she kissed Alex. And when she ran out of a live human, she
went out and went outside and told those lights Kyle pissed on. Yeah.
Yeah. And the craziest thing about her doing this to that Jack in the
Box employee is that he was able to weather all of the nonsense she was
talking about and then recommend that she doesn't get the monster tacos because they're really
there's no point. They're not better than the regular tacos. There's just they're
just what even is a monster taco a Jack in the box. Isn't that
the one where they put the piece of American cheese on it? No,
that's the regular taco. That's the regular time. That's the signature of the
Jack in the Box taco. That's the you know, people are drawn to
pure individuality, people who are themselves. That's why we lef Casey because she's
a nutbag, right. Jack in the Box's taco succeeds on that principle.
It is what it is unabashedly. So they put a piece of American cheese
in a taco. I mean, think about how insulting that the entirety of
Latin America. Anyways, you're right, man, yeah, anyway, and
maybe that was insulting because Latin not all of Latin America has tacos. Let's
just say Mexico, but then more places might have tacos, so I don't
want to offend those people. Anyways, I am appalled the Jack in the
Box has done what they've done. Can we get to something else? Alex
and Danny and Danielle end up in her room and he sprawls out on her
bed. I thought this was going to completely gross her out, because he
takes off his shirt and basically insinuates like, hey, I'm sleeping here,
and to my confusion, it appeared to be quite the turn on for her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well she needs her mojo back. That's
right, my mojo. Baby. If you have been panning for some time
and you haven't come up with anything, I mean, you'll pan a puddle
right, just to see if there's a little bit of mojo in there.
When Danielle is going around telling everybody about Carl, Lindsay and her and Alex,
Batman over hears, well not over here's he's told explicitly, and he
says, and we should you know, it's not all Danielle. Alex went
around peacocking as well. But at some point Batman catches wind of this and
he calls Alex a legend. Let's I want to do this, It's like
a fun segment. Or let's list some other legends, you know, like
really legendary people, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan, Achilles, certainly Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah, and Alex right up there in the pantheon you have legend,
you know, Batman slash Brian. I really feel bad for him because I
think he's going to have I mean, it's only the third episode, third
day or however they split this up. I think he's still he's gonna have
a rough go. I think He's going to be the pest that in any
other environment would be completely shunned. But because they're sequestered, he's going to
finally become like the screech of the group and there will there will be some
love for him. Yeah, something's gotta happen for him. Because there was
a scene in here, not to get ahead of myself, where he uh,
he welcomes himself in the jacuzzi. Yeah, when Malia and Jordan are
in there and they pretend he doesn't exist. It was like Bruce Willis talking
to anybody in that movie. They just he was not having the same conversation.
But we'll get there. Yes, but he's got some Listen, there's
some nice guy though, great guy, and I think within the Indian community
his isms and indiosyncrasies work better than with a bunch of fucking sea rats.
And he's off his game. Yeah, because did you see that girl that
he was I mean, my god, was she stunning? But I think
she dumped it. I think he might have dumped her. He dumped her.
Okay, Yeah, I was confusing. I mean, of course didn't
watch Family Karma, You say, of course, Well I mentioned it on
the show. Okay, Hey, I dated two Indian girls. Now that's
why I was confused. My wife knows I dated two Indian girls and I'm
still in contact with them and my wife. If she sees me watching family
Karma, I'm gonna get in trouble. Yeah yeah, yeah, it won't
be good for you. So Danielle and Alex I thought fucked each other,
but they don't do this until later they fall asleep on one another while Kyle
slam's pat tie and Jordan and Casey talk about how she wants to fuck Cory
and that Sam is this psychotic bitch. Now I covered a lot of things
there, Yes, all right, so let's zero in on this one.
So Casey telling Jordan that she knows someone who knows Sam who's Corey's girlfriend.
Yeah, he's not admitting that, and that friend thinks she's a trashy,
trashy, basic bitch that like spit. Now, there's this thing that kind
of exists outside of the realm of Winter House and Summerhouse, which is this
kind of code that there's an ick on a guy who's showing up to a
party flirting knowing that he has a girl, whether or not he admits it.
If you even think that he does. You don't touch that guy for
But shockingly, those rules of etiquette do not apply. Don't get me wrong.
All the guys are you know, manhorse too, and it's it's Corey.
But they'll be quite the reckoning when Sam does finally arrive at this house.
By the way, genius producing producers, you don't let Sam come on
this season, but you let Corey go up there and lie his fucking ass
off. That is smart. We're in some kind of limbo right now.
Okay, we'll see. It's almost though, like we might give them too
much credit because, like, I don't know, if you, let's say
you have an ant eater and you throw a bunch of termites in a pin
with him, what's he gonna do. He's gonna eat all the termites,
you know. So it's an yeah, yeah, exactly. So. The
other thing that I glossed over is that Kyle is in true form again.
He is up at four o'clock in the morning slamming food. Yes, and
that is a true expression of wonder and joy. Some would call that a
state of grace or heaven, but that's the place that Kyle gets to so
often and I'm so envious of him. He's kind of in a self like
prison if you think about it, because he's a drunk and he likes to
party, but his mind is, you know, how he makes his money
as he shows up on this show, and he is the only married couple
right now, and so his only enjoyment is getting blackout drunk and then eating
food at four in the morning. You really think about it, Yeah,
but a lot of people would be crushed by the kind of dour bummer of
that existence. But not gotten. No, No, he's having a blast.
So Jordan picks up ahead of Steam. She goes over and she knocks
on Corey's door, and Corey does not answer. And it's good on Corey
that he acknowledges that they're all hot and that he needs to not sleep with
whatever is behind that door. It's like, let's make a deal. But
there's there's a million dollars behind every door. There's no wrong answer, right
anybody. If he would have answered, he he would have had sex with
anybody and by that door. But I think his concern was Jordan had been
talking about not having sex for a year and a half and apparently her vagina
needs a maid because it's like one of those closets that hasn't been opened.
It's kind of dusty and might have spiders in it or something like that.
Yeah, maybe that was the turnoff. I don't know. Yeah, like
a box of sorry just falls down and hits you in the head. Who
got me that? That was my mother in law. That was a wedding.
Was this game good? I can't remember if it was good. Well,
I'm not gonna play it. I used to have a closet in my
shitty apartment I called the Closet of Doom. It was all shitty gifts that
my mother got me because she didn't know what I wanted, so she'd send
me out like a I don't like label. She'd send me out like a
shirt that with Nike on it. Yeah, and a closet of doom.
I could throw it in there. You couldn't throw it away. I couldn't
throw it away, Yeah, because she'd ask where it was when she'd visit.
Yeah. So it's in the closet of doom. Ches with nothing is
just the closet. This is the thing. Yes, all of the women
are beautiful and in that analogy. Yes, all of the suitcases have a
million dollars in them. But what he doesn't take into account is that four
of the suitcases do, or five or however many girls there are. The
rest are just Kyle that could be wanting to go outside and piss on something.
The fact that Corey is constantly in that state of like, somebody's knocking
on my door. It's probably some bitch that wants to suck my dick.
No, it's Kyle. He just warmed up a burrito and he's wondering if
it's he's illusional. That's true. I didn't think about that. And also,
whatever karma, whatever good karma he acquired there will be gone. In
I don't know two episodes when he hooks up with Malia. Sam's got to
be pissed off with Malia for something. She goes straight to her. She
does, and I'm wondering if it got back to her about that whole confusion
about not being a kiss. But they have to go spit, They have
to go further or Malia's just flirting in front of her. Malia is a
shitster, and I don't know if she's a girl's girl, and I think
she would slip Katie's throat in two seconds. Yeah, I don't know,
snap judgment. So we'll get to the next morning. There was no next
morning, no penetration. But before we do, maybe we don't hit an
ad read after that word. Let's just get through some stuff that happened this
morning. Batman is rising up crazy Casey, and by that I mean he
God, it's so funny he is Bruce Willis. I mean he's just not
speaking to the people that he thinks he speaking to. You know, if
I were is his pickup artist, a mystery say a mystery know they teach
guys how to get laid, you know, I would be like, dude,
stop what you're doing right now. Just be the friendly kind of half
not paying attention kind of friend. Stop hitting girls are being perceived in that
way. Be the bro. Start just hanging out with the guys, ignore
the girls, ignore the girls, and then see if you can get some
kind of vibes going where they start getting attracted to you because you're not paying
attention to them. I know that sounds very piggish and no, but that's
that's what you need to do. And like perfect example Alex versus Corey,
Alex immediately goes for Jordan starts hitting on everybody. Corey pretends like he's there
to hang out with his bros with a constant addict like periphery obsession with what
he's gonna fuck next. But you can't see it. It's there, but
it's just he Also, if you'll notice, he flirts enough to get a
girl kind of interested, and then he starts playing the girls off each other.
Yeah, exactly, but you know what, you don't need to play
off one another. Ah, yes, Green Any of the meals you get
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go to that website order just try it out. I think they have a
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Again, that is green chef dot Com slash below deck to fifty. So
come back to this show. Okay, So everybody gets ready in the morning
because they're going to go out, and some people will be on the bunny
slope. Some people are professionals. I guess the thing I want to discuss
is in the car with Batman. Yeah, because he continues to have less
than zero game. Again, it's it's Bruce Willis he's in the front seat.
She can feel his hands, but anything he's saying is not He's like,
it's like he's not there. Okay. So he attempts this little game
which I think he probably read in one of those books that, you know,
teach guys how to get a girl in tie. And he says,
hey, hold my hand. No, let's let the fingers feel each other
in between, you know, that kind of hand holding. And but she
says, I prefer ass grabbing and not by you Batman, by Corey.
Yeah. And then Jordan takes a sword, which is dangerous because Batman's driving,
stabs it right in his heart and turns around and says, hey,
Corey, I knocked at your door last night because I wanted to f you.
Yeah, she said, I mean again, Batman was slain by a
student he didn't pay enough attention to. She's literally telling Corey she wants to
fuck him in front of the guy who tried to kiss her two days before
that. Yes, I mean, it's just unbelievable. You got to feel
for him, man, you really gotta feel for him. We get some
people doing lessons, and we've got some advanced people too, and I am
just so jealous that they get to do this. I miss it so much.
Casey describes skiing as freeing in the ultimate release. She's one hundred percent
right. I mean, that's just what it is. I also think this
is where she basically lays out that she's not here to have sex with Rando's
on camera. She's here for the free skiing. Into that, I say,
get lost. So, the sea rats are not good at skiing.
They are good at working eighteen hour shifts and binge drinking in the sun,
sometimes the rain, but definitely not the correct They do not do well in
the snow. Their hair, their coat is not thick enough. Okay,
right, you don't see rats in the snow. You see them scurrying about
near sand, right, and vessels, not in inclement weather. Okay.
They go to cities, but there are cities that are cult Anyways, I
don't know what I'm saying. So we head to the lodge after Well,
can I say this whole slope thing with them on the slopes. It's so
and I'm having a great time tonight. We've had a lot of funny moments,
but this is just useless footage and it's almost like the producers had to
say, we need you guys to get together and talk about this now,
or this is going to be a one minute montage. Absolutely, I will
say, we do need a break from the night activities, and it is
pretty boring. I would honestly say, how about sending them out to a
winter Wonderland wine tasting or something like that. But yes, it is pretty
stage where they have to set them up in various groups and cover what we
all just watched that took place the night before. So the two groups catch
up. This is before we head to that wonderful lodge where they served nachos.
We learned that Danny and Alex did some heavy petting that didn't bang.
That's a very old person thing to say heavy petting. We learned that Jordan
wanted a little makeout session with Corey. And then Casey makes a third attempt
to get to the bottom of Cory's relationship status, and he once again defers
the answer, but he says he'd feel bad if he's spitting someone else's mouth
besides Sam, you know, yeah, and then he elaborates and that right
there is a little almost like a congressman kind of trick. Oh yes,
he would feel bad about spinning in anyone else's mouth. Yes, but he'll
still shove his cock in you. Well, he elaborates to that, while
Malia, Casey and Hai stand there. He says, I pretty much I'm
down to DTF you, you and you and Jordan and so wow. He
has a type. His type is attractive and a live Yeah. Yeah,
and listen, that's a lot of people's type. So we had, we
had to the lodge and we order a Joey chestnut on the fourth of July.
Amount of food, I mean, what what is going on here?
We get three plates of mac and cheese, four lobster rolls, three burgers,
three orders of Philly cheese steak egg rolls. It's just like I listen
a day on the I don't know why I'm so hung up on that.
I just reality television stars. You don't think they didn't. I'm losing it.
I'm losing it. It was insane how much food they ordered. Oh
yeah, and they did it, Dylan, and look if Andy's paying for
it? Eyed fucking order that much? Yeah, me too, me too.
So Jordan sits down and says that she's not getting vibes from Corey,
but Also, she's not giving vibes. You told him in the car that
you knocked on his door last night because you wanted to fuck him, So
I think you are giving vibes. I'm with you, though I don't think
you're getting any. Jordan's confession has now officially friend zoned Malia. She only
sees Corey now that Jordan has told her her feelings for him as a brother
who she flirts with. That's ellipses and will bang in two episodes. We
don't know what's gonna happen. We don't know. So the X Games is
the next themed party. We're going to be making shots based off of our
exes because that's what the wheel hit tonight. All right, So we get
back to the house. A couple of things happened here. This is Alex
being a real scumbag. He walks into Jordan's room and asks if he can
take a shower in there. He strips down completely naked, takes a shower.
Was Harvey w This is Harvey Weinstein. I'm not kidding. This is
what Harvey Weinstein did. Yes, it's really gross, and I'm telling you
Alex is a complete fucking scumbag. That really is a scumbag. Jordan consented
to the you can use the likelihood of the outcomes, but it's just what
Harvey Weinstein did, but just with hotter people. It is different when it's
a gnarled, old fucking troll who's lording opportunity over somebody with the penis falling
off in Gang Green. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. You
imagine that Putt New fuck that well. Meanwhile, also Jordan and Malia hit
the coups, and this is when we discussed this earlier. Brian joins,
uh, so he can be Bruce Willis in the sixth sense. Yeah,
Hey, I'm here. Hey, I'm here. I think I feel like
there's a presence here. But do you hear something? No, hmmm,
I'm kind of into Corey. What do you think about Corey? I we
talked about you saying you were into Corey. I heard you, But I
feel like there's I keep hearing like a little it's like a gnat that can
talk, you know. Yeah, I kind of feel that too. Well,
you guys probably aren't talking about me, though, you wouldn't talk about
me like that. I'm fucking cool. You guys want to fuck me?
I heard it. Again. All right, So Tom views this game as
a call to the universe to bring Katie back to him. Oh God,
I think he's referring to the entire experience. Maybe this game. I'm not
sure. But we get home, Kyle screams, Mother Nature. We hit
the hot tub. This is when the Bruce Willis thing happens. Monday,
March thirteenth, nine seven pm. And then we play the game. Everyone
isn't you can see the and this is was this palpable for me? I
have This is one of my greatest fears is being Tom pitching a group activity
and having almost everyone go I don't. I don't know if I want to
do that at all. Tom Swartz at this point was at the center of
quite the controversy, and I think they were all ears and eyes. I
don't know. I think people were like, if we weren't on a television
show, I would not do this. But then everybody really really gets into
it. Danielle makes the Michalata. Oh, first off, we have to
we have to begin with Tom's contribution to this game. Yes, which judgmental
X So my cocktails tequila straight. Everybody take a shot. Yeah, we're
gonna be making cocktails tonight that represent our exes. She told me that I
had to please everybody. So because of that, I'm gonna make you guys
all the cocktail, the tequila shot. It did set the tone for this,
uh this kind of metaphor where I'm not going to please everybody like tequila.
Does you know that's this was all like wedding toasts, this entire thing
and had the same energy as a wedding toast. Yeah, it was very
drunken and uh sweet. Yeah. Well, or if you're Corey, we
can jump around, I guess. Yeah, Corey takes the time to insinuate
his X was a whore. Yes, his cocktail is called pass around.
Yeah, what a gentleman. Yeah, I mean he's just a sweet guy.
And like Batman said about Alex, I would say that Corey is a
legend. You know, my cocktail is a bag of wine that everyone can
slap and then suck out of, like my fucking horror X girlfriend. He's
a real cat. Listen, when people think about when when when people get
off on the thought of having somebody spit in their mouth, you have to
think that you have to know that not everybody is as good as Corey is
that's spitting in your mouth. You think that it's this easy kind of carnal
thing that everybody can do, but the saliety. Yeah, he's the lavat
sniper. People can have dribbles, they can have bad accuracy. Corey wads
up something that isn't too viscous and isn't too thin and he slams your tonsils
with it. That's that's fucking cool, all right. It is a thing.
By the way, Dylan, you know, I caught the whole spitting
thing last season, and apparently it is a thing for the kids. I
don't want to get ahead of myself. Will discussed in the next five minutes.
Malia spit in his mouth. It's a thing. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, sorry, sorry, Okay, So Casey makes a garbage bag cocktail
and we can move on. Well, yeah, Casey did it because it's
the leftover booze found in a trash bag. Because her x treated are like
trash. You are pretty weird. Oh there's another odd thing that happens.
Kyle makes a dackery with other alcohol because Amanda has multiple personality disorder. Well,
he starts off that way, but it's supposed to be about your axes,
so he said, for legal reasons, he can't really get into it.
Oh, got it, got it right, because Amanda is not his
ex season, she's his wife. Yeah, all right, So we move
on. Malia and Kyle piss on the snow, Corey misses his not girlfriend
Sam and Danielle and Alex begin to just slam him into one another in the
countertops. Yes, Jordan and Corey and Malia, this little Bermuda triangle of
nothing happens. Now. Jordan unfortunately has to watch on while Malia tries to
eat something out of Corey's mouth. Are you talking about her brother? You're
talking about yeah, because they have that relationship, the brother sister relationship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what was going on there.
I'd have to review the footage further, but it looked like they did in
fact touch lips. But this is the thing, Malia. I guess we
can roll this into Jordan's breakdown because when she sees this, she begins to
really cry. Well reminded of her bitch friend that stole her necklace, remember
that. Yeah, Well, at this point, Dylan, so this kind
of sets stage for the emotional breakdown. I think it's late I didn't get
a time signature or chyron at this point, but everyone just starts falling in
beds. Yeah. For some reason, Alex, who was the first one
to pass out, has suddenly revived. Yeah yeah, yeah, I think
it was upon hearing a sobbing Jordan in the hallway. Yeah. Anyway,
he's the first to embrace her and get a little, a little cozy up
with her. So true. It's like a kemodo dragon who is been without
food for a little bit and he hears water dripping or something. Yeah,
and he hears like a fawn lapping up water and really has no interest,
but it's kind of called to go try to fuck the fawn. Of course,
he must survive, you know. And he does that, and it's
Jordan, and they embrace, and then others uh suddenly awaken from the dead
and they decide to do a group hug and not before you know, it
was so funny. I was like, poor Jordan, But also I'm so
grateful that in her time of need, she has Alex who will welcome her
with open arms so that he can again try to either bite her on the
ankle with poisonous saliva until he can have sex with her or just have sex
with her tonight, but either way, it's not genuine. He's trying to
have sex. Yes, he would love to have sex with her by comforting
her, right, And I do want to remind the audience. I know
I said this, that's the top of the show. But he embraces Jordan
to comfort her because she's very upset because she didn't kiss the guy who has
a girlfriend who kissed another girl. Now listen, I don't think that Malia
and Corey kissed, but I do think that Malia is knowingly deceitful about what's
going on with her and Corey, and she she can with all of the
you know, these are like you know, people think like you know the
it's like it's what law abiding citizen with Gerard Butler was all about, Wow,
you haven't seen it. I'll go watch it tonight. Is it good?
Oh, it's fantastic, little gory, Okay, by the letter of
the law, justice is not paid out oftentimes, and people can hide behind
that. And that's what Leah what's her name Malia is doing. She's she's
operating in the swamps of technicality, but she knows what she's doing well because
she denies the kiss and laughs, that was it a kiss? I spit
in his mouth? Yeah, so I don't know. Listen, we'll find
out what happens next week. But we do end the episode with Alex saying,
just can I put it inside? Ye? Just the tip? All
right? Jovi in the iTunes ready to reviews. We sat on below deck.
We would do this. We would give Papia Dog Girl the reviews.
Papia Dog Girl. She's driving up from Miami, isn't she. How did
we not say that at the top of the fucking show. Oh we miss
Papaya Girl. Papia Dog Girl will be back next week. She couldn't make
it tonight. Honestly, I think we didn't mention it because we were hurt
exactly. Yeah, next week, Papia Dog Girl will read the reviews and
keep reviewing, keep leaving them. Go to patreon dot com, slash another
podcast network. Donate a little if you can, and a little more if
you can. Two. That's it I'm doing. Say goodbye, Pat's say
goodbye. There's a lot of stuff on TV, even not all of it's
good Jim Track, A lot of it's tad. TV