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There are so many things going on
in the world, so many things that's

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almost hard to choose from. There's
just so much stuff, and much of

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it affects me and I hear about
it, or if it actually affects me

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actually personally or really affects me in
the moment. Stuff. It is crazy,

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and it is by the middle of
all that because of outside stuff.

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It's also your regular emotions that are
going through and that everybody else is also

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feeling a lot of different things and
everybody else is being affected. It's like

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you're not alone crazy. Welcome to
fifty plus. I'm James Jr. Another

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set of my musings being my fifties. I turned fifty four this week,

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so that's very interesting to have that
that's coming up. Basically fifty plus,

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I'm really heading towards legal senior citizen
a h bottom of the year. It's

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kind of funny, and it's this
whole thing about being for me. Someone

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asked me a question. You say, you feel lonely or you feel alone,

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and what do you feel the difference
between a two for yourself, for

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me myself or that means because you're
surrounded by some stuff. So here's the

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thing. So I have learned the
last couple of years, you could be

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surrounded by a million people and feel
alone. You feel like you're on top

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of the world in some ways,
and then you feel lonely in other ways.

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It happened. Personal life sucks,
professional life wonderful that happens to you

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this day. Both things can happen. It's very interesting. I never knew

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that until as I gotten older that
can happen. Once I got into public

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eye, I didn't know that either
that it can happen. You can be

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surrounded by all these people. You
have all these I have all these followers

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and fans and everything, and you
can still feel lonely or alone. Now

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I'm not officially alone because I have
lots of people in my life and I

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live with my brother and all kind
of stuff, so I'm not alone,

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but I do feel lonely at times. And it's not in lack of friendships

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or anything like that. I have
all that I was caregiving my mother,

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so I'm not like I'm not doing
nothing, but I'm lonely for certain types

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of attention and affection that I have
not had in years. And much us

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to do of a pandemic that happens
and everything now, so you get a

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little older, and a lot of
people who are old rest by fifty plus.

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I'm bringing this up to be one
or the other. There are a

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lot of folks who are in their
fifties and sixteen, seventies and eighties who

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actually have lots of family. I
surrounded by kids and grandkids, but they

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may not have a partner or someone
really special or someone actually hangs out with

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them. Your holidays comes around,
we love your grandma and grandpa, but

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the rest of the year it's crickets. Then there's people who actually are alone.

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They don't really have very many people. They don't have any friends.

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They have some family, but no
friends, and they don't do anything.

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They feel alone and sometimes and lonely
at the same time. But for me,

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I have tons of I have more
friends I can even shake stick at

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which I'm very grateful for him,
and more family and shas I have more

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family, that's even I even want
un as I was there. But for

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that, for me, a lot
of times is that that affection that one

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person can give you somebody, it's
a different kind of attention, different kind

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of situation, um, romantic love, all that stuff. I've just sex

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all that stuff which I don't have. And it's funny because I'm meeting people

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who are all taken. They're they're
all taken in some form, who find

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me winsome or attractive or whatever.
And I'll tell you something. It's for

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the ego at first, and for
the attention. It's nice. After a

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while, it's still empty because they
have somebody they go home to or in

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their lives, and my bed is
still empty. I'm still by myself,

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and that's part is tough, and
it's tough to say it out loud to

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you for a lot of people,
because you for men to say that out

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loud. But I'll probably been talking
about my feelings for years. I don't

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really care if people will think it's
crazy or weird. But I always wanted

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feelings because I know there are folks
that the who feel the same way.

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So you're not alone. You're not
alone at all, and that in that

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sense maybe lonely, But I don't
feels anybody says I'm you, so caress

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bag yourself and that other I it
will take a very special person to come

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into my life because I don't go
out to bars, I don't do all

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these major things. I work from
home, I'm doing a lot of stuff.

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I'm here in my own, my
house, my world, and in

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la is just really tough. Everyone's
in their own orbits and they're feeling their

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stuff too. And to find somebody
actually being carried a conversation with I want

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to hang out with right a length
of time. It's tough. And I'm

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a bit pepper too either, So
I mean they someboably think I'm too this

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or two that, or two perky
or two this or two stubborn. I

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mean, who knows. Let me
me go small dos to James is fine

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with them, but they don't want
James every day, so it goes.

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It goes both ways. So to
find somebody that it connects you. Now,

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I've emotionally connected to certain people in
my life I have and it's really

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close and it's fine. It works
sometimes it helps abate the loneliness a little

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bit, but it's not. I
don't have a person of my own,

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and so that's something that I don't
know if I get older, if I

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would get one, And that's something
that I've had to face. Also,

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I've had to face some really strong
things that you know, on the show

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with my family and friends. And
that's something that I seriously I've just decided,

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I'm you know, this could be
something that I may never find anybody,

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this could be in and whatever it
is I mean, I mean obviously

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a perfect my professional life will go
on fine and I'll have great success and

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all that kind of stuff there,
I'm not worried about that. And my

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kids and grandkids I love them now
going on too. That's something I have

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to think about because I'm not some
young spring chicken running around and a sea

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of people where I go. I
had somebody every week basically, so to

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speak. When you get older,
it thins out a bit and we have

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a lot more issues that are different
health lines and stuff that we don't have

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when you're younger, and sometimes we're
setting our ways. As you get older,

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you get setting your ways. I
know that I know what I want,

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thank God I worked all that out. I know what I want,

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to know what I like, I
know what kind of person I want,

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what kind of person I like.
Luckily, I'm very die first in terms

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of looks and style, but in
terms of basic qualities. I know what

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I want and what makes me happy, what won't make me happy, which

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is good for everybody. Everybody should
know that, at least to me,

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like said, looks wise, it
canna be whatever, um, But when

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it comes to core values and things
and style, it's you should know what

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you want, um, and so
that everybody's good and clear and it's it's

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fine. So I am. But
as my birthday approaches, it's just something

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I get more introspective, just thinking
this is really interesting. I'm like,

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I'm at this age. I never
I thought i'd be alone. I thought

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I was gonna have well a personal
I was with the I thought it was

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gonna be still with them, and
that didn't happen. I thought I was

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done. I thought, was that
feeling when I thought I found this person,

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I'm off the market? How to
worry about anymore? It felt good

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and everything, and then it fell
apart later. But that's really funny.

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I was just like, Okay,
I guess that's happening to me, things

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happening outside of control. I just
try to make a basket and I couldn't.

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I missed it as life, right, But I've been enjoying on some

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level. It sounds weird, but
I'm kind of enjoying sharing my journey with

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you here on this show, like
all my other shows too, but on

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fifty plus, I created the show
for the older person. I wasn't sure

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where I was going to go.
I do have. I actually wrote a

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show called fifty plus we do featuring
older people, And right now I'm on

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solidarity with the WGA, so I'm
not running anything right now until they finished

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striking. But I also um they're
doing some skids on other conversations people in

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their fifties. I have a whole
idea about the show that I'm going to

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keep continuing to do this year,
and I continue to talk about it.

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I think you know, as we
get older, we are not invisible.

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You're not gonna erase us, and
our lives aren't over. There's so much

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to do. If anything, I'm
an example of that very least. We

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have energy and vitality, and we
have things to say and things to produce

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and lives to live. So we're
gonna continue the net. But thank you

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so much for listening to me watching
the show. And I'm James Agen,

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of course, and I will talk
to you next time. On another addition

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of fifty plus