For you the power of the sun. Hey, uh, Sween, what's
that song called that? Uh? Kanye and jay Z did they're in that
one? Like European city? Uh? Uh it's Nwards in Paris. Mm.
Well but I mean if if it wasn't censored, I don't what is
inward? I don't what does that mean? I hear you know the you
know the country Niger. It's like it's like that word, but like it's
phonetically similar to that word. Welcome to the Stark Tank. Welcome to the
Stark Tank podcast. The show hosted by Chris Reagan, Derek Blackman, and
Tom Sweeney. Tom Sweeney is broadcasting from the surface of the fucking Sun.
Yes. I don't know why the movie literally or what is it Sunshine or
whatever the fuck that movie is called. I think it's all bright. You
get a curtain, get a curtain inane never you look ridiculous. I look
amazing. This looks like cool. I look like fucking raiding with the fucking
No, you don't you think you look this is an explorer hat. It's
it doesn't. It doesn't even register as an explorer hat because there's so much
light on it that it takes away the detail. Its insane. What's the
It's like it's like van to white. It's crazy gray. This is gray.
This is the brightest gray possible. No, it's it's like it's doing
the opposite of vanta black, where like it's just it is reflecting so much
light that I can't make out any details. Insane, how like this is
so absurd. And for the record, I was I was thinking about us
the sci fi movie Sunshine that came on seven, where it's it is look
this is my face. I'm gone, like, you don't look like you
Like, yeah, hell yeah, that doesn't look like a person. It's
so insane that you're even like, are your fucking pupil? Like, isn't
this hurting your fucking retinas? I have the brim on to be able to
protect my eyes. This is an adaptation of Kingston Get a curtain. It's
insane that we don't have. It's insane. Only thing we Okay, we
moved into a new house over here in Vegas. Uh. The first day
I went to Walmart just as a temporary fix, bought those sticker hanger things
that hold like thirty pounds, and then just bought a rod and a blackout
curtain and I was done. That took like five fucking minutes to just assemble,
Like, why won't you just do that? Because I love the sun.
It wakes me. It comes and gives me in the morning that you
know what you can do, you can have it open, so it wakes
you up. And then when you're ready to film a fucking podcast, the
revolutionary concept, give me a little best sitos in the morning, and I'm
like, I love these little little sunshine kisses and it wakes me up.
Dude. All right, listen, listen, listen. Fuck this. Welcome
to the stark Tank Podcast. You can support us over at patreon dot com.
Sass a snark Tank can get get yourself into one of the tears.
It'll like. There's plenty of tiers over there. There's one for get writing
in your questions to the show, and we answered that periodically throughout the show.
We've had the question thread for this month. By the way, Happy
New Year, everybody. It's twenty twenty four. We made it far.
I made two thousand and four was twenty years ago. Upset, easy to
think about upsetting, but we're at this point. Good shit came out all
four Yeah, man, a lot of good shit came out in A four
two thousand and fours, one of those even like like from from a front
I think with movies, music, and games. I'm particularly knowledgeable about games
in two thousand and four, but like I know, like a bunch of
good music came out that year too. It's like a pretty solid what came
out to thus before that I would know about. Oh my god, God,
a lot of child I had it on my mind earlier, just like
a lot of a lot of crazy. If you look up, a lot
of two came out with with My Place, I'm pretty cool. Christina Milion
dip it low, I remember that I don't want to know came out in
two thousand and four. That's crazy. Yeah, Yeah, it's a good
year. It's a good year. Halo two, World Warcraft, all this,
all this crazy shit, Half Life two, No Goodies four American Idiot
came out two thousand and four. What sure, dude. Yeah, it's
a crazy time. Twosand four was a goaded year. Now we're twenty years
removed from it. We've had the question thread up for this month up for
nineteen hours at the time of recording this. This is our first episode recording
of the New Year. But we've had the question thread up for about nineteen
hours. It's already at like over one hundred and twenty questions, so it's
it's hell over there. Do you want to? Seven? Four was an
insane year of music? Guy, Yes, yeah, it's wilder than you
think. I think it's not. I remember buying a lot of music that
year like that. I I specifically some of my favorite albums came out that
year. So I very much remember lean Back came out that year. Fucking
some lyrics from from that from lean Back don't dance? They just give me
away? What is he saying? I said, my my, what don't
dance? My homies don't dance. It's put their pants? Correct. I
think there's a different word you. My hitters don't dance. They just pull
up their pants. My fellers don't dance. If anyone of them figured out.
Yeah, this guy says he's not gonna say the N word anymore,
and uh, I don't know if it's for the rest of his life where
he just this entire t. I'm trying. I'm trying to get better at
it. So I'm gonna go as long as I can without saying it.
Yeah, came out two thousand and four as well, and Confession's Part two,
What the fuck Yeah, it's a good year man favor My second favorite
Residence came out there two bro fucking liminal verses, which I think, like,
if you're not a Slipnot fan, everybody knows songs from that album,
especially because the like guitar hero rock band or whatever the fuck kill Switch engaged
the end of Heartache. I mean, by the way, this is this
is what I This is what I mean, by the way, somebody,
because I remember I fucking click click click out of that. So so here's
the thing. Here's the thing, this is what I'm This is what I
mean when I say we can't really tell the quality of music in the in
the era that we're currently living in until a lot of time has passed,
because I remember a lot of people at the end of the two thousands,
in like twenty eleven, twenty ten, twenty twelve, talking about how like
the two thousands sucked. They did I think they they did not, I
think, but granted it's better than I remember it being. No, no,
you're it's not. Here's the thing. People think, No, this
is the I hate this argument because at the beginning of the nineties, people
probably were like, man, the eighties fucking sucked. The eighties suck for
music because they're too close to it, because they hear everything. They hear
everything that comes out in the eighties, because they lived in the eighties.
But like with distance, all the great shit sifts to the top and you
can go back and like, oh, man, greatest, like the best
shit from that era. It's like all suddenly, like music's really good.
It's not that music was bad in the two thousands, it's that music's always
bad generally, and we have to wait for the great ship to sift up
through the decades. I think particularly I agree with you on that. I
agree with you on that, but I think out of all the decades that
I've heard music from, I think particularly the two thousands have had the worst.
I think granted, there was probably a bunch of great music that came
out two thousands, obviously, duh. But I think two thousands were the
worst that I've experienced so far. I don't think so. I I yeah,
the twenty tens for me were a little bit lacklusterer, but again that's
I think I like that a lot because it's simply the fact that's why people
got sort of experimental with rap music in the way I enjoy. That's what
I like twenty tens, and I think that's the thing that happens though it's
the genre that people mess with heavily. Is when they say, like say,
somebody who's a fan of classic rock, Well, obviously the best music
that came out was in the seventies seventies, of course, right, So
it's kind of like one of those things were I think objectively though, and
it's hard to stay objective in this situation, but the eighties was one of
the probably weakest periods of When we talk about, like say, some of
the most iconic music that is spun to this day, a lot of it
actually was not from the eighties because a lot of the the you know,
there was a lot of experimentation that was in like they thought this was the
future. So there was a lot of music that was like, oh,
we're trying to make this specific futuristic music and not just like taking drugs and
just experimenting, like say with a lot of the sixties and seventies, and
then drugs came back in the nineties, but in the in the eighties,
there was a lot of the drugs were kind of like the LSD, and
a lot of the psychedelics were kind of taken out of music, and I
was like, let's just use a lot of let's just do these things because
we're in the future. And even like, say, if you watch a
movie like Rocky four, it is that to a t. You can see
that they even have that stupid fucking robot in the Robot Butlers a robot and
Rocky four, it's so like, even though I love that movie, I
love that movie, that is a moment that I'll never forget because he was
like, hey, guess what I got, And then a robot comes out
of the room, and I'm like, what the fuck is this dude?
The era was Look, I adore that ship, but I also can take
a step out of it and look at it and be like, this ship's
kind of silly, right, And I think that's what you kind of have
to do. It'd be like, I'm not you can still enjoy shit that's
fucking wacky, Like let's not just let's not throw it all away. I
think I think of when you're when you're saying all stuff. I think I
think of Devo, you know, yeah, like that stuff where it's like
this is for what the fuck even is this? Yeah, I think the
eighties has good music. Granted the eighties this is over. It's very overrepresented.
That period of time is a very well loved period of time for a
lot of people, people that specially if experienced it. I just I really
can't. I just feel the same about I feel like wait, wait,
wait, wait wait, because I find the opposite. I find like a
lot of like a lot of the people that I know who grew up in
the eighties don't no, no, no, no, no no. It's
well remembered by a lot of people that aren't there, like I know my
my family that lived there. Like eighties horrifying time. It was like really
terrible, like the war on drugs and like like that was like popping off.
People are like, yo, that's sucked, but like yeah, it
was literally just cocaine and aids, cocaine and aids and like being arrested for
no reason. Yeah, that like everything was on fire. Always is crazy.
It was like the eighties is fucked. We've really over overly romanticized.
But what I'm saying is like, I don't know what I'm saying, is
you up beat music twenty tens. The twenty tens for me is like a
really lackluster decade for me. But again, I'm very aware of the fact
that like we just came out of that and we're going to need time for
that for like the best of that ara to really like kind of sift up
to the house well hold on into. Intuitively, I feel like it might
not be that strong because of like people like Kendrick Lamar, you know what,
I single handedly like in like j Cole, uh hate him, I
love him, Drake Future, mac Miller, all of Tyler creators grew like
that like that era thing. I really like that was like my team,
you know, like when you're like you really have your experimental phase with music,
when you're like you're like late teens, just like sixteen to eighteens,
when you like really start listening to music like for real, and that was
I do think that's a good I think that's a good example if you're listening
to that that particular genre of music, but in a lot of other genres,
like one thing I think and why the twenty tens weren't good for you,
Chris, and it was kind of the same way for me. Is
that a lot of bands that I grew up listening to, even a lot
of hip hop artists, they either stop making music or they already made their
best albums. And that's something that is kind of unfortunate where most bands that
listen to most of my favorite bands have not been able to replicate their first
few albums that were just fucking, you know, phenomenal. And I still
I'm waiting for more musicians to be able to break that that chain right that
cycle though what I feel like there's one musician that's really there's some like it's
just it's just largely can you name more than three that have done that?
Connect well? So it's it is I have to think a little bit more
on I can't really do it on the fly right now. I just know
that there's some bands like uh, like there's a band called Job for a
Cowboy, this metal that their older stuff actually which was really good at its
time for what it was, and they actually kind of were revolutionary for its
genre of a death core or whatever the fuck you want to call it,
but their later shit, I'm talking like twenty fourteen, they came out with
an album Best Shit They Made by Eons, Like they're really Yeah, they're
one of these bands that they figured out their sound and the bass is like
considered an instrument because in metal, a lot of times the bass is just
rhythm in the background. It's just to fill to make the guitar sound a
little bit more beefy. But in this album, it's just the it's the
music's phenomenal, and so it's there's other examples of that, but it's so
fucking rare. It's so rare. Usually people kind of like just blow their
load. The hell you're looking at Chrisy. You look like you're kind of
like, oh, no, so I was. I was. I'm managing
the question thread and I actually, for me, the only I think that
has got like, bandwise, I think that's gotten better is Matedon. I
feel like they've just got I feel like they've just gotten better. I think
that is, but I think it's my ear for them has gotten better as
well. Well. No, you're you're right, because I would say because
I was, I was. I was an old school fan of Macedon.
I'm talking about uh my ring tone when I was in high school or not
told my voice message. In their original EP uh, they had a like
yeah in their original ship they had they used to use like you know,
people used to use like you know, uh oh, here's from a movie.
I'm gonna use this line and it's gonna open up the song. And
they had this like redneck from a from a from a documentary just saying one
of the most redneckiest things, like well, I took the butcher knife and
put her up to her neck and and he's basically threatening his wife for making
bad eggs or something, you know, like just complete back ship, and
then the song starts pure chaos. Back then, they used to be pure
fucking chaos. The Remission I like them since Leviathant. That's when I found
out about them when I was small small people. I think it was like
maybe some sort of like game had a song from Remission in it, probably
because it was probably like from it was probably Blood and Thunder, which is
probably one of the most was one of their most popular songs that really in
them since for years and years, and they came out with music like in
twenty fourteen that was amazing, and I was like, there's no reason for
you guys to be this good, this this many years later. It was
just weird to me. They found their groove, which which was it's just
way better because the other shit was way more chaotic. Like even when you
talk about remission, they were still coming off of doing the chaotic stuff.
They were still screaming a bit. They I found them out on you know,
fucking Headbanger's Ball used to be a huge compilation of like metal. They
used to be on MTV two and so they were on the B side.
And but anyway, I don't want to get too far into that, but
yeah, there I say objectively, their chaotic shit was cool, but it's
just not like more people enjoyed even me. It's they're just better at writing
songs. Now. Oh oh, bring me the Horizon, Bring me the
Horizon. They're they're old shit is dog shit to me? Like dog,
Yeah, bring bring me the horizon. Dog significantly shit. I mean I'm
talking two thousand and six, one of the most popular metal bands, like,
they were number one on MySpace. I hated them. I was like,
this band's terrible. I don't even know why people like them. Then
they got a little bit better, but they were just stealing another one of
my favorite hardcore bands, and I feel like it's really controversial. I'm not
gonna get into that. And then I would say twenty thirteen, they released
an album called Simpaternal. That's when I'm like, this band actually starting to
sound really fucking good. And then on they've just been banger after banger where
they got it now. So there's a handful. But I think it comes
down to changing the genre kind of, you know, instead of just writing
similar shit and it's being better. Yeah, it's also a matter of just
like you like what you prefer to listen to as well, and that's going
to have a lot of impact. It's like if somebody, like, if
somebody doesn't like like, if somebody only likes comic books, like only likes
comic book movies, they would probably be like, whoa dude, The twenty
tens were amazing, you know what I mean? Yeah, the twenty tens
were an amazing like way, and then like a lot of but a lot
of like cinema people who probably aren't into comics is probably gonna be like,
yeah, it's pretty good. But I mean the eighties or the best with
the eighties, I don't know what. I don't know what cinema. I
don't know what year, what, what decade would be considered like the best
for cinema from like a from from like a cinephiles, eighties, early nineties,
I don't know. I don't know late because late eighties was when Scorsese
was the best director by far, one hundred ten percent, and he had
he had like nine movies that come out in eighties. Yeah, but there's
also a lot of people that don't care about like a lot of cinema files
that aren't like into the whole crime fucking mob shit where they're like, I
get it, I've seen I've seen it. Some they're good, but then
it's like how many how many of them do you need to see? Scorsese?
He annoys me some of his takes. Departed, Bro, that's one
of my favorite fucking movies. Absolutely, that movie. What's so fucking amazing.
I don't get anybody says that. And obviously good Fellas good Fellaws is
a masterpiece. I think that's like one of the best films I think is
good Fellows. I think is my favorite of his for sure, Like,
but I don't know anyway in the first four minutes. Yeah, we're getting
we're getting sidetracked. There's so much to go over today. For no reason.
He's talking to his child as a white child. He doesn't. It's
just a narration. It's just narration, Jack Nicholson narrating, and they just
hard r because you know, to set the tone that it's Boston at all.
So anyway, so a lot, so listen, A lots. A
lot's gone down. We we I would be remiss to not touch on it.
But before we before we get into the stuff that I think is really
important or the things that people are going to want us to talk about,
I want to lead into it with this question. I want to lead into
it with this question because I saw this on TikTok, not even like an
hour earlier than the time that we're recording this. It was a TikTok of
some guy talking about how he's a landlord and he owns fifteen thousand houses.
He owns fifteen thousand homes that he rents out. Now, my question is
how much, because this is something that I thought immediately, how how many
homes does one person have to own and not live in before they are equivalent
to at least one pedophile. That's crazy. I feel like, never exactly,
but I think it's like five. I think the second you get to
over four homes, you're basically equivalent to a pedophile today. Like I sincerely
had, I had a viscal reaction when I heard this, When I saw
this guy talking about owning fifteen thousand homes, that was similar to like watching
a pedophile talking about going off like Scott Free, like ooh, look I
got away with it. Like I got the same feeling. I'm like,
wow, I hate you. You know what might be to the core of
your being? You know what maybe a little controversial is I think that's probably
I think that's actually when you actually think about damaging the population, I think
that person is worse than you know, because the pedophile is affecting one family
pretty much, well, well you also well to be fair to be not
to be hold on right now because I'm arguing on behalf of the of the
damage that the pedophile does, because you could theoretically it's one family, but
like that kid is now probably in all likelihood that's like a new probably like
probably a new pedophile. I still that's that's statistically kind of what happens like
at least like some percentage of the time. I agree. So it does
go outside of just one family. You're you're so it's like the So it's
like the flood kind of like it like spreads but over time. But let's
even just say, for the sake of argument, generational talk. Let's just
say genre generational, five family, six families. It's just say that is
no, like, this is the thing. This is when you got to
do the whole thing, Like fuck Ben Shapiro, but facts before feelings,
right Like, it's one of those things where it's like the feelings like swings
all up in his fields. Right now. I get that because pedophil is
the worst ship. I'm not. I'm just I just I just don't think
you will. I don't think right now is why you gotta take your claim.
But I'm gonna listen. It's listen there. Chris opened up this with
that comparison. So now I'm taking the guy taking fifteen thousand homes for people
who could actually potentially own them, because that's what we need in this country
desperately. You need affordable housing and people own their own that much property.
In general, it's fucking support so fifteen thousand versus I'm just saying one,
if we were gonna say fifteen thousand, this guy owning fifteen thousand homes versus
fifteen thousand pedafiles, that's what I'm saying, clearly, right, Yeah,
right, that's what the question is. The question is how how many homes
as one person have to own before the equivalent to get to the left.
And you said five, I feel like that's you know, it sounds awful,
but you're probably right, just because of we know how much we abhor
you know, kids being abused. But when we think about it's it's such
a it's such a good point to raise how we overlook the insane housing crisis
and how fucking foreigners are able to just fucking buy up houses and be like
this is my business, like people that don't even live here. They just
go for like straight up foreign governments, like officials foreign government. I don't
overlook it because of the fact that I'm trying to buy a home and the
amount of money I've brought to a bank to try to finance a home and
laughed at is insane. Like the amount of money I've brought to a bank,
they'd be like, hey, me and my partner want to finance a
house and they laughed. I was like, do you guys see how much
money this is? And you see your skin color? Do you do you
see who you are? Do you see who you are and what you're with?
And I'm like, are you are you serious? And they're like,
yeah, that's not even you. When your name is Josh, your name
is Josh Smith, come back, yeah, change your name, change your
name, change change you Yeah. No, But I don't know. I
saw that. I saw that video that guy talking earlier, and I immediately
my mind immediately went to this guy's this guy's basically a pedophile, Like that
was the first thing I thought. That the first thing I thought when he
opened his mouth and said that. I just thought that was kind of funny.
But also speaking of pedophiles, the Epstein list is out. The Epstein
List is out there and still so it is more the end of the month.
Actually, I think even more shit coming out the end of the month.
But there's some ship too. Yeah, there's some stuff out now.
Honestly kind of uneventful. I don't know, Like I I didn't see that
much going around about it. But the funniest thing I did see. And
I'm not sure if this is new because I feel like I remember this being
an idea that was set up before this. Uh but Stephen Hawking apparently on
the island in an in an orgy, I don't even understand. That's what
I'm saying. It's like, did they build him like a special suit?
I hope I don't think one. That's the great thing about Stephen Hawking,
like there even they made that movie about him and everything, and they explored
him cheating on his wife, like him you know, having a mistress,
and I just love I love the idea of him being so you know,
handicapped, but still just stepping out on someone who was even willing to be
with him, like he's to be fair, that was before he was handicapped.
Yeah, I don't care. I don't know about that. I think
I think in my reality, he's clearly in the wheelchair with the he was
born. He was born in that chair. Yeah, he was born in
a wheelchair. He came out with the many fucking wheelchair and then grew with
him and grew with him. He's always have that one wheelchair. Dude.
Mommy, cry cry, change, change, you know, I love that
fucking voice. I love that old like Macintosh voice or whatever. That thing
was like someone snapping type and a bunch of mean ship towards you and that
just like you know when you first found out about Google translated, everybody would
just use it in computer class, then just turn up the value and impress
anything people need. Kicked out of the semen, and then you be clicking
against it all the slower, see men, And like, I love this,
bro, I love it so much. We made up we made up
a story about my friend Cory getting right by a panther in the jungkboard or
something like that, and I got kicked out of classes. I said it,
laughing the hardest. It wasn't me who said, like, played it,
but I laughed the hard You got the most, You got the most
joy out of it, and so you were the you were the recipent.
Yeah. I laughed until I almost peed myself. My teacher was like,
that's enough, and I kept laughing. Yeah, so will tell me it's
so fifteen. Yeah, so it says. Stephen Hawking's name came up in
the newly unsealed Jeffrey Epstein documents in twenty fifteen, Epstein offered to pay people
to disprove an allegation that Hawking was in an underage orgy, but the documents
don't actually have any allegations against Hawking, so it's I don't really understand what
that fucking means. It's if I were a betting man, I would say
this probably didn't happen because he's fucking immobile. But it's still fucking hilarious.
I think it's universe the kids, the image, the image of him is
really just like that's what bees come. Come, I'm coming, I'm coming.
The universe is meaningless without they told boys. I don't know, it's
weird. I think he was into like midgets and shit too, Like there
was like other stuff that was I saw, I saw somebody giving the add
with it, and I'm like, damn, this is crazy. I've been
seeing a bunch of wheelchair stuff like this dude crashing through a window. I
don't even know what of that. I don't even knows it's the window.
I'm like even know where that's from. I was like, is that that
looks like Ranger? Looks funny, that's all. It looks funny. My
money's on Walker Texas Ranger because that show did some of the craziest ship and
Conan O'Brien for a while back with the Late Night with Conan O'Brien. When
they absorbed the rights, I think it was NBC. I forgot when network
he was on, but they got the Walker Texas Ranger rights. He's like,
I can play clips of that show whenever I want, And he had
a lever right next to his desk and he would just randomly throughout the day
just pull it and show the stupidest, craziest clip from that show, like
a kid being in the library on one of those ladders and this motherfucker's like,
jump, I'll catch you. Kid jumps and the guy just walks away
and the kid just plummets to the floor, and I'm like, what is
the context of that happening? What did he do? That great show?
It's a great show. I watched way too much of that when I was
little because my grandmother, of course, likes Chuck. Grandma likes anything Western,
and I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't get
what about I don't know. I don't understand what made her like Western so
much, but she loves that ship. I mean, Westerns were probably like
the dominant film genre when she was young. That was like the Westerns.
Westerns were like the m c U basically, like I'm not even joking,
Like that's a genuinely sincere like it was like it was like comic movies are
today like a really dominant force and film to the point, to the point
where people didn't even know how to make the Spanish one right, Spanish watch
spaghetti westerns in Spanish and I'm like, what, Grandma, what is this
she watched westerns? Westerns? I guess heen Westerns. I guess is what
they're called. Like crazy, I'm like, why do you like these so
much? He's like I think claims was so beautiful, and I'm like he
wasn't a looking guy when he was younger. I guess, of course.
Yeah. Now he's kind of a bigot. It's like huge, big yeah
aged him, like like he's probably yeah, he's now he's like a hundred.
He's now he's like super bigger than his son. Is friends with a
bunch of black people. All his floods friends are black rappers. Like,
goddamn it, he was one of those. He strikes me as one of
those people who I don't know. He's bigoted, but he's like very like
he like accepts defeat on some level there there he'd be grudt. He's like
they're they're here whatever, They're not all bad, but like I mean,
it's like, God, damn it, man, Yeah, God damn it.
Whatever, God bring him in whatever. Whatever. I'm out of here
in less than a couple of years. Anyway, destroy at this place.
I don't care. I'll be laughing from heaven watching y'all get raped by the
devil while I'm playing my harp. He doesn't all right, Uh you really
want to bring an engine in the house, you know who I am.
But it brings over a few black friends and Native Americans brings like Americans Asians
are hungry. I guess why you brings biscuits and fucking biscuits and uh,
some beams in the back if you want some. I don't have. So
I'm really curious about I'm a I'm a Chinese whatever, I'm Chinese from Delaware.
Yeah, whatever you say. You know what's funny there? There is
like there is an element of like you have the horses theory where kind of
like where certain things kind of loop back around into being themselves from the opposite
perspective, like there's almost like an anti racist sentiment to the idea of like,
yeah, whatever, it's all the same, you know what I mean,
It's there's almost you I know, I do know if you if you
don't really believe that there's really any difference, then it really truly doesn't matter.
It's basically all the same. I know. It's like there's then the
opposite end of the spectrum where it's like the Chinese are all the fucking same,
you know what I mean, it's the same thing. I feel like
I feel like you're right in the horse theory way, you know, Like
I feel like the horse theory is what's making you right correct being right.
Saying like it's all the same, it implies that like you don't care.
I get like, I know what you mean, like it's all the same.
Like it's like like you don't see prejudice in that way. But somebody
would argue from the opposite and say that well being It's like when you say,
oh, I'm colorblind, I don't see color, and then we have
somebody come in and say, well, that's kind of an issue too,
because you're not paying attention to that justice. It's almost like I use any
sort of crayon. If the horseshoe was an island, like a platform that
people could stand on, these two people would be standing at the edge and
their their tips could touch. Yeah, like they could touch tips, But
oh man, what the are you touching tip somebody? Is the wildest thing
ever to me? Like, I feel like, I feel like that's something
that I would ask a gay person about and they'd be like, I've never
done that, why are you asking? But just by sheer, probably they
might have gone crazier than that. They probably done crazy enough. They probably
haven't done that, But I've never rubbed the head of my dick on another
dick. No, I don't believe that. I don't believe. I believe
that that's that's way crazier and it's like what I guess I could see how
that could be better than like just just yeah, I don't I mean,
I don't think. I don't think it's like they do that for hours.
I don't know, but it's surely it happens, you know what I mean,
maybe maybe in the tussle, but like in the in the chaos.
I don't think they stand. I don't think they touch our tips. And
I think they do though, like if they're fancy fancy gaze, like instead
of having like rapiers and stuff, you know how like when people are doing
like and all that ship. Yeah, like they're like, oh, we're
fancy gays and it's nobody carries swords anymore. No one has sabers, no
one has fucking uh rapiers or cutlasses or anything like that. They don't have
any of that ship. So now they I like to jerk off fancy with
like my with my pinky, with your pinky out. I've never I've never
even I've never thought about doing that, But now you've you've opened. I've
never thought about that till this very much. Sip some tea in one hand
and then beat off in the other hand with your pinkies out. That's that's
the that's it right there, dude. That's insane. That's it. That
is crazy. You're pinky erected the whole time. It cannot go down at
all. Yeah, you you look at your pinky to remind you what you
what your dick should be doing, and look it should be it should be
when you bust. You have to bust with dignity, because that's the one
thing, because you know your facial expressions cannot change. Yeah, you can't.
You can't be like one of those you got. You gotta busting cheerio,
just like if you're gonna make a sound, he has to be contained
to like and then you're done. And then and then I said, fascinating,
fascinating fasting. Yeah, they I feel like if that's all sargon,
that's like sargun. Jolly good. I appeared to differ. I have a
cough. I have a cough. I have no idea where it came from.
A lot of people are sick right now. I don't know. I
don't know what that's about. I've been avoiding anyone that's coughing. I was
just in the sauna earlier and this fucking Polynesian dude came in and he just
like coughed twice, and I fucking ran out. He was he walked,
he walked in, and he got pulled towards him a little bit. Everything
got my god, damn it. The first of all, first of all,
you think it's skilly any Polynesians walking into a suna, No way,
Yeah, no way. Yeah, I've only seen like one skinny Polynesian.
He's in the UFC, and that's it. Everybody else is just a massive
fucking monster, you know. And then there's Max Holloway. You know what's
scary. I really feel like them and black people should not be allowed to
breed and make children. I feel like black people should should not be able
to children. But they do build, build large creatures they make. We
can't have a bunch of those running around. The Rock is a example of
just just Polynesian genetics and a giant black dudes genetics. And it's just like
Jesus Christ, look at this. I mean, sure there's his asses full
of steroids, but you know, even before before he did you see young
Rock? Yeah, fifteen years old? Like that. Can I say something
about about The Rock that I don't know if it's controversial or what. Probably
feel like it's kind of annoying to me that I feel like he's one the
few people that you're not allowed to dislike, even though there's no real like
he hasn't really done anything to justify that amount of cultural goodwill. Like he's
just kind of there and he's in everything, but like he's not like on
that Joe Rogan podcast, he was like fairly uninteresting, and oh that was
I just thought that was a very uninteresting version of the rock because that's the
rock. But you're no, look at You're right, So so I look
at. I I am completely self aware that I shouldn't be as big of
a fan of the Rock as I am because I know he's extremely fake.
What I mean by that is his persona, the what he puts on this
super happy, positive guy doing all this dumb ship. I know, fake
as fuck. I am completely aware, but I he's one of the few
people on this planet Earth that I've like, I've bought his He partnered with
JBL made headphones, I bought them. He partnered with under Armour made lifting
shoes, and I bought them. I never do that, but there's something
about I think just he's given me a lot of He's given me a lot
of value in motivation because just he works out incredibly hard. I love just
that he does. But there's a lot of people that hate that shit completely.
They hate the Oh I get up at this time and I'm always in
the gym around this time because it's like, yeah, because you have all
the resources you can do it. So a lot of people hate that shit
because they're like, well, yeah, you Kevin Hart, all these people
can be buff. You have chefs, you have everything you want. Even
when you cheat meal, your cheap meals aren't truly cheat meals. So people
get pissed off of that stuff. But then there's also the Rock I guess
he's been caught recycling content and doing like you know, there's this I've been
wanting to make a video about this, but I haven't gotten around to it.
There's this first time, blank, first time seeing, first time,
listening, first time. Ninety percent of all of that content is just completely
fraudulent. It is stuff that people have heard, seen whatever, they all
before, but they're just now doing it in the controlled environment and making it
appear like it's the first time, especially when it's something really popular for algorithmic
purposes. First time hearing fucking miss mister Brightside, And I'm like, get
the shut the fuck up. There was a drummer, it was like a
famous drummer that was like first time hearing fucking It was a Michael Jackson.
It might have been Smooth Criminal or it was something like that, And I'm
just like millions of views, and so the Rock he got caught doing something
similar to this, I don't remember what it was, where it's like,
oh, he recycled something from twenty seventeen and did it just last year,
like at the end of twenty twenty three. So there's a lot of people
like, oh, this guy is really fake and he's very uh. One
of the reasons why Vin Diesel and him were butting heads because they're so similar
and that they have huge egos and they need to be the top bill and
they need to be like he's one of the reasons why the The Fucking DC
didn't do very well, because he was supposed to fight Shazamm in the original
movie and he's like, I don't want to do that shit. I want
my own fucking movie. So then they're Okay, we did that, you
know, we want to do this, and he's like, no, I
want to and then he made it to where people are completely uninterested. Right.
Yeah. I read. I read somewhere that he has a contract.
He has like a he has like a like a specific contract stipulation all the
things that he does where he like he can't lose, like he's not allowed
to lose. Yeah, if you if you look at that fight between him
and Vin Diesel in Fast five, it is one of these stupid It is
one of the funniest fucking things I've seen in an action movie. And I
love cheesy ninety action films or some of my favorite genres to watch, and
so that's when Fast five joined that genre. And when they're fighting, it's
such a stalemate and there's like no blood or anything on it's it's one of
the dumbest things where their egos got in the way that none of them could
look weak, and it's just like, what the hell was even the point
of this scene when like they fight, I mean crashed through walls and windows,
fucked each other up mercilessly, and they were like fine, like maybe
maybe a drop of blood, I can't remember, but they were so stalemated
that I'm like, nothing happened in the slightest to advance any type of like
let's see who's the biggest and the baddest or anything like that, and because
they just couldn't let it. I'm sure somebody was supposed to come out on
top originally when it was probably written, but then they're like no, no,
no, no, it's not going down that way. But anyway,
I think more and more people are starting to realize that this Rock kind of
sucks, and I think one big thing that's gonna have things changes him being
on Joe Rogan and being so boring. Didn't address how Joe Rogan would shit
on him all the time about being a fake Natty. Right, he's faking
the acts. Like he said, he hasn't taken steroids since he was eighteen,
which is hilarious. And Arnold Swarzenegger many docuseriies came out on Netflix,
and you know, he doesn't usually talk about steroids ND Schwarzenegger, even though
obviously that's all they do. But he's very open about it in this documentary
and I love that he did that, and I'm like this was so needed
culturally that yeah, yeah, totally, there's gonna be pressure on the Rock
to be like, well, I'm as big, I'm bigger than Arnold Schwarzenegger,
but I don't take steroids. Such. The the thing is this,
right, like I had, I had a period of time where our friend
Joe, when we were all we were Christa's part of it. So we
all worked out a lot because of him. It's huge thing. Joe,
our friend is a body bodybuilds. He loves it, huge part of his
life. Right. We went through this period of time where we were like
watching like a bunch of like generation iron pumping iron, all that stuff,
and all of those bodybuilders are like, yeah, we use we use roids,
but using steroids is not gonna get you where I am. It's not
just that like using roids, Yeah, you'll get bigger. Of course you'll
very likely die because you probably don't know how to regulate how much you're using
and this shit you're doing with it. But you cannot just use steroids and
get to my get to where I'm at. That's not how it's gonna work.
I work out. I work way harder than it is steroids. And
I feel like that's fine. I feel like that's so fine. It is
fine. You explain it to anybody and like, and that's that's the whole
thing. Like it's not the mass. The masses are not gonna like sore
steroids. I'll be like the rockets, like no, no, But they
only think that because they're lying. Your heart's is gonna en large, and
like people people only think that because no they think that now because they won't
tell them the fucking truth. I don't. I agree, but disagree at
the same time because I feel like people you'll you'll show people like you'll say
you'll show people like here's my diet, here's my exercise regimen, here's all
this ship. I do use these supplements to help me, to help me
rebuild back up, because is like fifty something, he's not. His body
is just not able to rebuild to give him that kind of size anymore.
It just can't. He can't do that. He never was prime to be
that. Like when he was in his late twenties, that was probably steroid
free rock, and that was like that was probably his maximize he was.
Also, he would retain a lot of fat because that was just that was
him. Like if you look at him when he was starting to become a
superstar, he was he seemed pretty natural. And then once he got into
the movies is when he started taking an insane amount of illegal shit. Well
probably like probably like his biggest when he did a little bit after that was
probably him at his most physical, Like that's how the rock looks. Yeah,
he's a big dude. I just think he was always there was nothing
that was saying if he was doing anything, it was probably just like not
anabolic steroids, but something else to help him like sustain himself, like what
you would call like other type of performance enhancing drugs like EPO or something like
that gives you an edge in stamina and endurance. But anyway, we don't
need to get into all that. But it's one of those things that there's
a lot in the bodybuilding industry and everything they most people nowadays are completely open
about it, and they say, and everybody understands this because there's a lot
of idiots in the bodybuilding industry that watch. But they understand this, like,
Okay, if I want to look like Michael Hearn, for example,
I need his genetics. I need all the ship that he's stacking, and
I need to work out about eight hours a day, like I need all
that shit and that need to be pretty clean when I eat, like you
need a huge recipe. They understand this. They know they're never gonna look
like this fucking monster. But he says, Michael, Michael Hearn says that
he's natural and this is the problem that if like, but people in the
bodybuilding industry since we're all kind of knowledgeable. We know better. But since
god, people like he's looking at a picture of Michael Hurd's look at a
picture of that, motherfucker. Tell me he looks like he's a natural youth.
This is what people is like a niga turtle. He looks like he
has on his back that is not a natural person. So Michael Hearn says,
So people call him because there's a uh, there's an antibol steroid that
people used to use back and they call Trimbalone, and so people call him
Mico Trin because it's like it's it's it's so fun like it's so stupid.
But anyway, Strapp laying on that ship back to the Rock, he's guilty
of lying his ass off. People are I feel like they're starting to kind
of sour to him a little bit. They they know about his There's people
that are making good videos showing how selfish he is in in the movie uh,
in his industry and his seven dollars seven buck Films or whatever the fuck
is production company is how they're they're realizing a bunch of stuff. So now
to your point, Chris, that I think more and more people are starting
to rub to the idea that like, Okay, this guy's he's fucking he's
cartoonish, Like it's not he's not a real person. He just always struck
me as like a very fake person, like the entire time, like ever
since I ever first became away of them, and I was like, all
right, well, it's not a big deal, Like I don't care necessarily,
it's not Yeah, it's not important to me. I mean, like
it's it's weird culturally. Look at anytime you see somebody that is overly nice,
like on camera more times, it's not that they're a bad person.
It's just that is a fake persona right, Like it's just whether it's just
whether or not, Like these are corroborating, Like there are plenty of people
who are that nice and the stories are corroborated about them, you know what
I mean, Like interpersonally, like you have like people like like Jack Black
who like even off camera, a lot of people have just talked about like
being like wow, it's a really pleasant fucking guy like Judy, but he's
not doing all that wacky ship off camera though. That's That's what I mean,
Like, like it doesn't mean that you're bad it's just me. You're
putting on a thing, and the rock tries to act like, no,
this is me, and I'm like, come on, guys, it's anybody
extrapolated to anybody. It's just anyone that's like they raise their voice, it's
like another octave in their normal speaking voice and they're recording, Hey, what's
going on? Guys? You know, I'm like, well, that's not
that's not you. When you're sitting at home at dinner. Oh man,
this spaghetti so good, like you'd be like, what the fuck what are
you doing? You kill him? Is what you do? You like,
this is a fucking pod person. This is not my son or friend or
mom or whatever whoever the this is Do you remember fucking alien? Did you
see that TikTok that a bunch of it went viral of that girl She's about
to eat her her breakfast and so she is being like over exaggerating, and
then you see that girl in the background just looking at her like what the
fuck are you doing? And like and everyone's like, that's us where we
represent her in the back. We definitely talked about that on the podcast too,
because like I remember every because I remember there was a big hullabluo about
that, because people were talking about how, like, man, what a
jerk that girl is for judging someone or something. Shut up, Like,
I bet she's way more miserable than this person eating their breakfast. It's like
you, I can't stand the Internet. Yeah, like people just don't understand
that. You think that's genuine. You think that fucking broad is Like like
I said, she'll be at home at eight in the morning, ready to
eat her breakfast, and she's bouncing around, and like, get the funk
out of here, get out, get out, he said, kill kill
her, kill her, kill him, kill him, kill him dead,
all right, kill him dead, Shoot him in the heart, rip him
in half, rip in two pieces. I want to see two of them.
I want to see I want to I want to see him elevated high
above the stadium with his back splayed open like an eagle, like. I
want his inside dangling below his feet. I want him. I want him.
I want hung upside down over a storm drain and saw it from the
from the asshole down. I want him. I want him dead. That's
all I'm saying. That's so disgusting. Pleasantly you saw him in half and
everything falls down the stormy she dropped. That's a real that's a real torture,
by the are a real method of execution, by the way, people,
Yeah, that is dude, Medieval torture is fucking is some of the
most insane shit I've ever read. That, Like, you can't believe.
It almost makes me a shame to be a person when I think about God
that our species was thinking about doing our people different. They're different, they're
different. Well, I mean, clearly I don't, but it's just it's
one of those things where I recognize that I'm a human and it's like the
capabilities that humans are able to those are you have have that in you,
you as as a human being, as a human being, you have that
innate in you. I don't. I don't do that. Okay, let
me put We've had conversations like this before and we just didn't believe you about
like say, if someone you know did something horrific to Lily in front of
you and then you have a chance for revenge, and you said that you
wouldn't do ship, and I'm just like what, I what? The thing?
The thing is this right? The thing is this right? And the
moment I can say I can say that. I can say that right now,
I would try not to retaliate because I would understand that me hurting them
back is not going to change anything. I'm saying that right now. Well,
in a moment, understand you understand you are can be very different.
What about retribution? What about sucking? Uh? What is that gonna change?
It's not about changing. It's just like, then, what's the point
of putting people in prison? You know what I mean? Well, you
put people in prison. No, you put people in prison so they can
understand what they did wrong. Well, that's why that you know you're doing
it to punish them. No, you're not, absolutely, because if we're
trying to make them think about what they're doing, you wouldn't put them in
extremely horrible living condition. No no, no, no, no, no
no no. That is prison here, present here, that's your prison.
When you presonate somebody, you're supposed to incarcerate them, detain them so they
can do the same thing. You're thinking about rehabilitation, Like that's what they're
supposed to be Western countries. But yeah, but we're talking about the United
States. I don't live anywhere. To be fair, To be fair,
most countries. I mean, most European countries prison aren't great. We're gonna
talk about that's true. That's true. Maybe maybe like like Sweden or no
Penis countries, like those northern Penis countries for sure. What it's supposed to
be, Like the idea like, hey, this person committed a crime.
You know, we take like a person that steals a loaf of bread should
not be hung by the gallows, you know, shot, I would have
shot fifty times. Like let's like let's say, like I read Game of
Thrones, right, Game of Thrones is like, oh, the Knights Watters
hold a bunch of cut throats and rapists and murderers. The vast majority of
them are like petty thieves that stole food to eat because the world for regular
people suck, dick. That is the most people that are in prison.
They were like selling drugs so they can eat and shit like that. They
should not become legal slaves, of course, but that's kind of my mind.
Like a person harming me, a person doing something directly evil to me,
like harming somebody I love or something like that, I would want to
understand like clearly this person did this and they hurt me very badly. But
me killing them, all I's gonna do is just make it. I'm just
gonna kill them. That's it. Other than I hope they could figure out
what they did wrong, understand what they did wrong, and yeah here's the
thing again. But granted that is the moment where like right now, where
that's not happening to me, and I have a mind to think about it.
If someone hurt Lily in a moment, I very well just probably like
attack them and harm off in charge of like a fucking like like a beard
like yeah, like in a modern world, in a modern world, generally
I would I don't know if if someone's swinging on me or something. I
know in a modern world that like, I'm not going to retaliate because the
fact that they've swung on me is enough information for a proper retaliation. You
know. It's like, oh, I'm pressing charges. It is to be
I win. I win by not doing anything specifically. You know. But
this is like medieval times, dude, Nah, be careful, Medieval times.
Fun. I haven't been to me medieval times in a minute. You
guys were been. I went I went there four years ago. Four years
ago, you went to Medieval Times four years ago went as a that is
a batholticly recent they have a crazy good soup. I don't know what the
fuck it is. Probably have some chicken like like milky like fucking potatoe broth
soup. There. There's some ships delicious and I was like, this is
crazy. What the hell are They're putting horse coming? What is this?
It's fucking fantastic. Yeah, that that was the show is fine, but
the food is pretty good. Team once I was happy. I was like,
yay, it was a black guy too. It was a black guy
and it's the Yellow and Black and he won. I was like, let's
go for that. Maybe you knows that you sit in It depends on what
team, uh you're whoever is representing you. Yeah, you get that growth
hormone, turkey leg or whatever. They get fat. Last time I went
Day Had, they had a chicken. They just was what do you call
it? Half chicken or quarter chicken? Quarter chicken? I think literally two
thousand and seven, in two thousand and eight might have been the last time
I went, like one of those years good. Maybe they're killing each other
now, maybe that's actually we're losing money. We're losing money. We gotta
we gotta actually kill we gotta set it up. Yeah, that would be
amazing if they if they sent like, uh, pedophiles to be executed in
medieval times, I would be. I would be the show all the time,
dude. I would subscribe. Would I would be I would be a
to that broadcast. It'll be a tier five step to that broadcast. Like
I would watch it one time and I'd be like, Okay, I've really
had enough. I'm like, really had You don't need to be hilarious to
see a guy and a horse joust a pedophile. I have. I've like,
my there's a dude. I went through my Instagram like maybe like four
days ago, and my Instagram was just the N word of people dying,
bro, And I was like, that's your person. Yes you did,
Yes you did. And I saw one yesterday too. I can't remember whose
face it was. It was somebody's. It's one of those. And there's
a thing a bunch of cats like laughing at you, like it's a video
of a cat in a laugh track, bend it. It's pointing at you,
And I'm like, what the fuck is wrong? What is going on
right now? I just saw. I just saw straight up gay porn on
Instagram. But it was a dude's kissing. It was it was it was
the meme said when the bird, when the mama bird comes back to feed,
uh, the chicks or the hatchlings or whatever. And it's just these
three black dudes just swapping like and I was like, oh, I didn't.
I was expecting to see this yesterday. It was some guy that fell
on a chainsaw and Lily, Lily was just like, honey, that's not
funny. He died. And I was just like, I saw it and
I didn't make any noise because I think it was trauma. Everyone's like,
no, shut up. I hate this like this fake thing that you do
where you're like, you pretend to be traumatized by the thing you see.
You're not traumatized. You know there are things that definitely traumatized me. You
well, then why dolphin traumatized me? Why anymore? Why do you show
each other people if you traumatize you because I I I'm hurt, you know,
so you want to spread the hurt because you're not a good person.
Have you seen a movie? Smile? No, I'm smile all right,
Smile when I get damnaged. I'm the damage that shares the damage on other
people. All Right, we'll get into questions after this, but like I
do want to bring up the facts, like Twitter's turning into basically every Twitter
because it's such a shithole now is just it's porn. It's lively and spam.
That's all it is. It's really boring, it's really annoying. Like
there's some like I saw a video, to be fair, it was a
pretty interesting video of a guy exploding, but I mean, like, I
don't know, I'm just kind of Twitter's annoying. It was only funny specifically
because it happened to like some guy who's clearly like I mean, dude,
he's he was messing around with an explosive to plant it on a building,
and that's probably not like, I mean, that's probably not a great guy.
You know, Yeah, he's walking around with explosives, but he just
like he was fucking around with then he just exploded on a city street and
it's pretty gruesome. But it's different. It's different. It's different than some
it's different than some innocent dude falling on a chainsaw. Like that's sadder to
me. Because like, I don't know, man, there's plenty of to
be around a chainsaw. I see things on Twitter every day and I'm like,
oh, that's crazy. Like it's one video of this guy like he
was like doing something. It was like a lively video and then all of
a sudden, energy just came out of like this fucking valve and the guy
disappeared. He was gone, Oh I think I saw that video too.
Yeah, he just disappeared. It was like it was like someone turned the
mic into a real like a real like might like force might into a real
thing, and he got hit with it and died. Whoa. Yeah,
Twitter is just not not fun lately. Well, yeah, because it's it's
x now man, it's it's a different thing. Yeah, I know it
is now. It's unfortunate man, and it's uh elon ruined it cool,
awesome, But Instagram's fucked too. His Instagram is the N word and like,
that's you though you've done that. It is. The weird thing about
Instagram's algorithm is that it'll change so quickly if you just watch like two videos
of the same thing. Like every once in a while, it always tries
to rope me back into some bitches shaking their ass or doing something ridiculous.
Oh yeah, of course, and then if you just watch it fully,
then the next suggestion of reels will just be all bitches doing just the most
absurd, like, you know, click baity shit or whatever. I wish
I could find that. I get annoyed at Twitter because specifically, you know,
just because all of my bookmarks are scissoring compilations doesn't mean that's all I
want to see, you know what I mean? Like, sometimes I want
to see the news you want to see. I just watched, only I
probably don't see all the wild ship because I just checked the for you now
because the not for you sorry following or whatever, Yeah, whoever I'm following,
because the for you thing has actually been fucked. For me. It's
been fucked the entire time, because I just want to see what I want
to see, and I'm not really I'm not a fan of people machines trying
to direct me where to go where I'm like, I know what I like.
I'm gonna follow what I like. And like, I just followed a
new YouTube poop channel or page or whatever, and I'm like, oh cool,
more content. It was somebody tagged me, and I don't know if
you guys saw it was fucking uh that old school RD of the Rings cartoon
where fucking Gandolf grabs the ring from Frodo and for whatever reason, he puts
it up to his nose, like in his nose. But then he's just
like Jackie and then like fucking Frodo is like, what what do you do?
Like it's it's perfect, He's just he's just fucking that. I was
like, why did he the context of that, though, I'm like,
why did he put it up to his nose in the first place, Like
it goes through the tip of his nose in the ring, and then he's
just fitty. It just makes them fu It's fucking cool. Oh man,
Yeah, yeah, Okay, let's move on. Let's move on some questions.
We got a lot, we got a lot to get through. We
got a funck time to get through. Thanks to your support over at Pitton,
the concest of Start Tank. Remember you can ask us questions if you
if you go over and join one of our tears. I forget what it
is because it's a new year, and I've I've I'm an idiot, But
gone over there helps us also leave us some nice reviews on podcast services Apple,
Apple, iTunes, Spotify and all that shit. It helps us out
a ton. Yes, and first question of the new year, First question
of twenty twenty four. Although an episode would have gone live, you probably
it's not technically it's not your first episode twenty fo four, but whatever,
you get it, young, your guy Alt wrote in he says, not
a question, but it needs you guys to know that your Mask rewrite is
eerily close to the Mass comics. It's actually way closer than the movie is.
It wouldn't even be out of the realm of possibility ie the Mask.
Yeah, I did hear. This is something that I heard a lot,
was that, like the Mask comics are actually fucking insane, like the Matter.
This movie is really good, but it's not a great adaptation of the
comics. It's just like a really kind of fun movie with the premise of
the Mask. But apparently the Mass comics are fucking insane like a monster.
Yeah. Yeah, never watched them, never, never never read them.
Uh, maybe maybe I should. Comics are I mean, comics like that
are usually kind of like I mean, the original. I feel like the
original TM and T are very similar right, like the original teams. Yeah,
they were like yeah, they were flossing with people's tendons and ship like
or some nonsense. They would like, wait to take a ship, and
they would like srip, they would like rip your tain open and you'd like
run around, but your just leaking around and like then Donnie Tella would hit
you with a stick and your penis till you die. That's that was the
first That was the first issue. You're like, yo, what the hell
they dried that off of seventeen pages? Bro it did? That's a two
page bread That ship was the whole first You have no context of the turtles
just whooping some dudes. It's for the first issue. And then you're like,
wait, what is this? Like this it's pretty cool. It's a
pretty good way to start. Yeah, simple, that would be. Here's
a simple first question or not first question? Well, I guess it is
the first question because that last one wasn't. The first wasn't a questions question?
Homeless transferm who's whose resolution is to fuck? Good luck on that nice?
He wrote in and says, hey, comeboys, what's a game you're
anticipating this year? I gotta be honest, I got nothing. I got
nothing this year Dragon's Dogma two. Oh yeah, yeah, that's that's that's
imminent, right, that's like February. Yeah, it might be March.
It might be March or February. You're probably right, you might be right.
I have no idea. I actually I don't really I don't remember exactly
either, but March, yeah, March, March twenty second, So it's
pretty pretty fucking close, pretty close. I'm pretty excited because I've played the
first one in twenty thirteen, had a hell of a lot of fun with
it. I got it on Steam a long time ago, and I'm I'm
gonna try to play it again. But shit, I just I just re
you know, installed Redd Redemption two. Me too. Oh dude, I'm
a little sad. Is it? Is it good on a Steam? Dick?
I don't know. I don't have one, so I can't even I'm
a Steam and I'm trying to put as many games I can on it.
I'll try it out, try it out, you have a report back,
dude. I can't imagine. I can't imagine that it's gonna run well.
But like, have you seen those car mods that on rede works pretty well
on there, So I don't know, you drive like a fucking Lamborghini through
through the Old West. Yeah. So I just found out. I was
so sad because last night I was so I was so hyped, like I'm
gonna fucking drive some cars. But it's only Red Dead Online and it's a
specific server. There's a specific server red im where they people you'll join this
discord you can get into that server and they're experimenting with car mods there.
And it fucking made me so sad because I was so hyped to like just
play single mode, just the story and just fuck around with cars in it
and getting a car. So no one's done it. No one's done it.
I was like, it's been this game has been out too long for
someone to not have figured this shit out yet. It is crazy. Yeah.
Well maybe maybe with the Grand Theft Auto source code being out there because
GJ five had the source code leaked a couple of weeks ago, right,
maybe, and you have to imagine that it's not that dissimilar to Red Dead's
Like I feel like source code is kind of like engines, where like they're
they're kind of similar throughout. Yeah, maybe that'll I don't know, maybe
that that'll help them put some some bullshit into Red Dead too. I sure
hope. So I love I love Red Dead two more as I get further
away from it, and as I rea as I jump into it every now
and again, I love it more. Yeah, it's crazy, Like I
really thought it would be the opposite. Like I really thought it was like,
oh, this is a very like linear kind of story driven game.
It's like very very narrative heavy. I probably I'm only going to play this
once. Not. Man, it's so good, and I've noticed that a
lot of people are coming around on it as well. Like I remember there
was a lot of it was it was a it was a critical acclaimed game
and all that. It's sold a ton. That's always going to be the
case for Rockstar games. But like I specifically remember, like a lot of
people there was that JK video, who by the way, I agree with
that video a lot a lot of people kind of he's basically like talking about
how their mission structure is really dated, which it is one hundred percent.
Like it's very linear and it's it's kind of annoying. But I don't know,
man, the rest of that game is just so fucking objectively amazing that
I can't. I don't. I really don't. Think I tweeted it earlier,
just that scene where he's talking to the nun by the trains, and
I'm just like, I don't know if I've played any game where a character
feels more real before or since Red Did Redemption Too, Like, I really
I Arthur Morgan feels like real fucking dude, Like in a way that I
can't fucking believe, Like the next most believable character is probably like so far
away from him in terms of like on the scale, like it's it's insane.
He's Arthur is a He's just so great. He's just so great of
a character. Like I like, I think there are better characters in games,
But I don't think there's better characters you play as. I don't think
there are better I don't. I don't think there's a better character. There's
the better characters you play as, Like I don't really trying to. I've
really tried to rack my brain out, like trying to figure out is there,
like what's like, who's a better character? I would say Garris,
Yeah, I would say Garris. I would say Will Will Will? Who
Fomal just G three Garris Will Carlak. Maybe you're you're Homemie from Dragon from
Dragon one, your best year, but you're like your your side and your
side and Homie almost at the N word three times because I was trying to
remember him. That's crazy. He's the He's the He's the dude that actually
becomes a great warden. Also, I think there's a lot, but I
think Alistair Alistair, Yes, I think Alistair. I think there's a lot
of really good ones. Sucks. I like Air. I don't like him.
I mean he's fine. I don't dislike him. I just I don't
I like. I just don't he he doesn't mean anything to me, like
I like, he's fine, but he's one of the least memorable. Like
I don't know. Maybe I should play it again, but I think maybe
because I think of more of like of of your howel and like low game,
I think of more of the cunts in that game more than than actually
likable people. There's he's ship like that what a great villain because he's such
a piece of ship, Like I remember, I think about Dragon Age origins,
and then I get angry because I'm just like that fucking guy. I
want to fuck him up so badly and then you have to wait for a
while, but I want to beat you. I want to hurt you again.
Going back to Red Dead, Micah is that personified, is the most
dislikeable ever act so much that like that couldn't wait. I love, I
love how much I hate Micah. Racist, misogynistic, disrespectful, liar,
piece of ship. He's a whisper working with the cops. Bro that entertains
fucking dutchess paranoia and like he pushes him over the edge, like he entertains
his madness. Yeah, fucking rat seas he's everything wrong. He even looks
like a piece of Like he looks like such a rat. He You're like,
oh man, they just nailed you gotta save him in the beginning to
because you gotta be save in the beginning and jail pull the wall out and
the reward just like, look, okay, this guy sucks dick. You
saved him. Here's the best feature in the gun the game dual weapons.
Here you go. You deserve that for least, saving this piece of ship
and going in the strawberry and lighting it. The funk up dude he went,
and you guys going to Strawberry. You go there to save him,
You break him out on some bullshit to be getting to get the creak.
This is some serious. Bs leave now he runs to the bank, robs
the bank, and he has he has to go get his guns. He
has to go get his guns. He's so I need my gun. Yeah,
he's great. Arthur is the ship though he really because I'm racking my
brain too. I'm racking my brain. I'm like, who have I felt
so like? I think no one. I think Arthur is the best who
play ass? I think he's the best? What because there are characters that
you brought up at, Like I love Garris and I think Garris is definitely
one of my favorite characters ever. But like the thing, I think there's
a there's a difference between like I like Garris a lot, like I like
him, but like in terms of like how like how real they feel?
Like there's something about Arthur in Red that wouldemp to do that feels like fucking
tangibly real, where it's like he's real, it was real, but he's
like real in a video gaming way. I don't know how to describe it.
Like it's not that it's a bad thing necessarily round in nature of the
world they're in, you know it definitely, it definitely helps. It adds
for sure because even in Balder's Gate right, like Balder's I think Will is
an amazing character because Will's story is the realist story out of all of theirs,
like has a wild some sort of wild thing going on, and Will
is like, literally, my dad was the leader of like protecting the city,
and all I wanted to do is make my dad happy. So I
made it back. That's why he's Wait, hold on, is Will the
guy that that attacks Carla like in the camp? Well, he wants to.
He wants to attack car like, yes, didn't kill him? Yes?
Oh what pretty much anybody I killed him? Well, I mean I
killed him immediately. You didn't trigger You probably didn't trigger the showdown like outside
of the camp. No, no, no, no, no. I
I he was in the camp, and you avoid that, so you can
so the way you the way you avoid because you don't have to. You
don't have to. Uh, you can send people to your camp instead of
them rolling with you. So like for example, when I first met a
stereon and I met fucking uh the Wizard of Camera's name right now, Gail.
I sent them to the my camp immediately because I was like, I
don't want to roll with dongs, you know, wait till I GAVs know.
I diind the exact same thing, I think, the exactly thing.
I was like, I don't want these men around. The last last game,
my last game, it was my character shadow Heart, Lizell and Carlin.
That's what I say. My character and my character was a woman too,
and that was my exact play there. I was like, I was
just a gang of gang of witches basically like going through this place, and
I was just like, I don't want to do that again. So now
I'm gonna wait till I get Jahira, which is the biggest problem in the
game. You can't man's Jahira. I want somebody. I wanted some old
pussy, man. I want that old pussy because she's still fine for being
old as hell. To dude, Yeah, she's like two billion and fucking
like she's looks you know, she's starting to gray a little bit, understandably
obviously, but she ain't like old. I knocked the dust out of it,
bro C. I mean, yeah, it's she's perfectly perfectly fine pussy.
Uh, so yeah, I was upset that they they barred that.
I feel like the moders need to somehow fix that. They I think they're
making I think they're making d I think they're making dil or they're making like
another story cool. And I also want to less out with UH with the
Uh, with the with the Night song and her bad you know, bro,
one thing I wanted to pick me up. Bro. Look, one
thing I will say. One thing I will say. One thing I will
say about what Kingston said is I think that what Kingson said is objectively true.
Like I I I think he's probably like the best character in video games,
but honestly, like I really like that's my personal opinion, but he's
definitely like the best protection that you play that you like. I can't even
imagine. I can't there's I it doesn't even come to mind any even close
with I think it's probably him the solid Snake. Yeah, everybody, maybe
even even him, like a mile. It's kind of like how it's so
relatable. It's kind of like how you know how Peutie Pie was like the
most subscribed channel and then the second most subscribe channel was like fifty million below
him. Yeah, it's kind of like that where it's like Arthur's really fucking
high to the point where like the next character might be the next character,
but he's still so far still so far away. But as far as like
twenty twenty four games coming out, like I don't know, man like it's
it like it's a it's a light year for for me and for what I
like. I think this year, I'm gonna go into my backlog and finish
a bunch of games that I probably should have finished. Yeah, I mean,
uh, I want to finish. I want to finish scranth Thtto four
because I'm really liking it. I want to finish. I want to platinum
some games too. I want to platinum games that I uh that I specifically
love because those are the only games that I've platinum. I've only platinum Spider
Man, Spider Man two, Crash Team Racing, and Ape Escape. Those
are my only four platinums, I think, and so I think I'm gonna
like delineate them. I was like, Okay, Shout of the Colossus is
probably next. I'm gonna try the Spiro games. Maybe BioShock. I don't
know. BioShock I heard was kind of hard, but was not Final Fantasy
seven. Man, I'm very excited for that. Oh yeah, that's that's
imminent as well. What's the other one called, uh fres Rebirth? Yeah,
this is rebirth. And the first one was just retro. No.
No, the first one was just Final Fantas have a remake. Then then
it was Integrade. That's like DLC piece. I see. Oh, I'm
just not I can't pretend to be into Final Fantasy anymore, like I've tried.
I love seven, especially the remake of seven. I think it's so
good. I like seven, but like jarpgs just have this dragging problem where
like they just get to it, like they just get to a point where
like a lot has happened narratively and then like here's a town, go go
meet the people in the town. I'm just like, I think seven has
a moment where like it's really slow and then it ramps up crazy fast and
it's a really cool ending and I'm like, oh, this is really nice.
Yeah, seven, but it is a JARPG. They just they just
dragged. Seven has that moment and then sixteen has that moment as well,
and I remember specifically going through them and I'm like damn. These are from
seven to sixteen. That's a nine game difference, and the problem that I
hated about the first one is still here. So like I'm just this is
just clearly like I think that people love about these games that I can't.
Every Final Fantasy game has a moment where you take a step back and you're
like, all right, cool now things are like more mundane. That's how
most RPGs are in general, because it's more like, yeah, right,
there's a time, the moment, it's a chill you know, I get
it. I I like Balders get a crazy cause Balder's Gate the scale keeps
going out. I get it. It's like, yeah, to this,
like what the hell I get? I get RPGs, and I understand it.
Like Balder's Gate, you want to be like one hundred hour experience,
but like I just don't. I rarely ever play a game that has a
thirty plus hour runtime and has justified that runtime. Like, I just don't
think games are good enough to withstand like over thirty forty hours of gable like
they they like they're fun, but they're not. Like Last Times Part two
is a great example of that. Actually, Like I remember playing the Last
of Us part two and half. When I got to the halfway point,
I remember being like, I've seen everything that this game has to offer and
there's still fifty percent of it left, and that that bothered the hell even
Red Dad Too, Like we're talking about Red Dad Too like a lot,
like and we praise it, like I love Red That too, but that's
a similar game. But like, I feel like you could cut a lot
of that game out and still have an amazing fucking game. You know,
I was none of the main story. I just want the map smaller,
need to be as big. In my opinion, it's just something I have.
The fact that you have the rest you have Red Dead Ones map at
the bottom of Blackwater, if you go to Blackwater and go down the whole
other games maps down there, I was like, what deeply unnecessary? It's
needed to be. Yeah, it is cool, but but and that was
and that was something that I realized over the over the course of like the
last like during winter Break, I've been playing a lot of old games,
Like I finished Allen Wake two twice and that got me into playing like,
oh, I want to play Allen Wake one again. I finished Allan Wake
one in like nine hours, and I'm like, this is fucking amazing.
This is great. This pays so well. Resonable four and Dead Space remakes
that just came out last year as well. We're just like snappy, right,
But I think I think I think Already four might be damn near a
perfect video game. The remake. The remake. Yeah, I think that's
one of the closest to like a actual perfect video game. It's pretty it's
close. There's no point in that game where it's not awesome. That's what
I felt about remake. Actually, are I like, I like Already two
more than four Ari two is better? Yeah, No, I don't think
it's bad. I think I don't think it's better. I think four it's
actually a better game. I think I think that two is really fun because
of the nature of what Too is. I think there's some dumb ship in
for like like the mind cart madness. Fucking that's that's such a fucking live
experience. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but it's so stupid.
I Have Fun was horrible. It was horrible. It was it was actually
kind of challenging to especially if you play on professional It was like, damn
near impossible to do. It's the lake monsole professional. I just beat the
lake monso professional. I just beat it. Every time you miss and it
submerges again, it heals, So you cannot miss a harpoon before it's mergered.
So sometimes you's got to take one throw, hit it the one time
and then let it live. Yeah, And I'm like, this is so
stupid, but it's I don't. I think that game is like so well
paced. I think that two with two is the nature of survival horror.
But there's a point in two right now that I can't get past. You
know, when you go to the bottom of the facility and you use that
you use the uh it's been so long that herbicide to make the guy that's
got the fucking thorn pierced to and you get the you get the little thing
for your watch. I'm at a point in the game where I can't get
pasted anywhere. I have no AMMO, so literally, like the crawling shambling
plant dudes come at me and I can't evade that. I can't go any
further in the game anymore. Like I'm done. I have Are you one
like the highest difficulty? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that could happen.
That could definitely happen, So I've ran cannot progress. The original though,
was way worse because the uh you couldn't well, I don't think it's the
same time. You literally first of all, they give you almost no ammo,
and then you could literally only kill the zombies by decapitating them, and
so actually I don't think that's the case in this one. If I remember
correctly, the shambling ones always get backed up. You have to set them
a fire. I see, But I just remember it being a little bit
more, especially because of tank controlling and all that blah blah blah. Yeah,
yeah, YadA, but yeah, but anyway, it's I I guess
it was just more I felt resonue before there. It felt like there were
some moments that were just it's just it takes me out of it because of
how wacky the game is. Like it has some moments where it's just like
and and and this is absolutely and I have I think is a masterpiece.
Man. I think it's such a fun. It's like it's it's Evil Dead
one and two. Literally yeah, and it's literally evil that one and two,
but just resident evil games. I just had. I guess I just
had a better experience overall, and it might and it might be more nostalgia
thing because I I I always enjoyed Resident Evil two technically just for what it
was more than Residue four. Even the Residue four was better, especially the
way the experience that we controlled it and everything. Even though going back to
the original one, it's still you know, it's it's a little like,
look, it's it's hard to meet it. Yeah, it's I'll say,
is that I would say, it's just two is just just above you guys
kill the dog. I killed the dog I meeting never boom. I never
killed the dog. I never killed What is the dog doing? He shot
it? Never killed? I Mean. The thing that annoys me is that
there's no The thing that annoys me is that I was thinking, well,
clearly I'm gonna get bushed or something's gonna happen in the remake, like if
I if I, if I rescue this dog, there's gonna be a repercussion.
But nothing. I was just like, oh, did you would have
changed that? Actually, the main game was supposed to be Leon and the
dog. He was gonna have like a wolf dog with him. That was
going to be the main game initially before they did it. Glad that didn't
happen. I fuck know, it pissed me off when I have to travel
with Ashley like that crazy, I was a viable ally you can't want to
look Yeah, the only reason was specifically the only reason that resident evil for
I, like before a lot, like I think the remakes great, but
like the thing that bothered me was that, and it's and granted it's not
a long it's not a long sequence, but you play as Ashley for a
little bit, and that happened with the Knights. Yeah, and to be
to be fair, that's not even necessarily like that bad of a sequence.
It's pretty quick and pretty easy, but like it is really fat too bad.
But that like I experienced that shortly after playing god Ward Ragnarok and not
liking a Treus so like immediately like I was enjoying Reside before. I was
like having such a fun time. I was like yay, and then they
mayde switch character and I was like, no, why does everyone have to
do this? Yeah, I don't so mad, but it didn't. I'm
not. I've never been a fan of that that dynamic ever ever, And
if there's a game where there's two characters. There's a game where there's two
characters and you're like one older character. You're gonna play as the meek character
eventually for one part of the game. Yeah, do you remember your early
experience of that where you're like, what the fuck is this? I'm like
and like one of the games, yeah, like that, No, it
was, it was. It was Crash Bandicoot Warped. It was the third
one PlayStation one because there are there are levels that only Cocoa can play,
and like, so you're playing his Cocoa and you're like on the Tiger and
you're running on the Great Wall of China or whatever, and it's like this,
this sucks. This is a crash where the what's this dumb girl during
my fucking game? Hate this girl? But it very it rarely. I
don't know, man, Sometimes I think it works, but it's like it's
it's hard to do. Five was a great example of it being fucking horrible.
What was it? Halo two is a great example of it being great.
Oh when you had to be the Guardians? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you had to be what the was the black dude's name? Uh a
Spartan Locke or whatever. Yeah s. His name is Spartan Luke Cage,
Spartan, Spartan Cage, Spartan, a little Spartan Loue Cage Spartane. The
era of video games when they just kept like, instead of just having these
famous actors voice characters, they just put them in the games. They started
doing them. Yeah, Yeah, it's it's happening a lot now because facial
like face and motion capture a lot easier than like modeling a character from scratch.
Like that's I saw a lot of people complaining about Deborah Wilson a lot
on Twitter because she came back from Africa. She fucked off for years and
then just came back, and now she's in every video game like it's happening.
It's crazy, Like she was on Mad TV and now she's like in
basically everything, and people were like, god, damn, sick of seeing
this pitch And I'm like, I get it kind of, but like at
the same time, Deborah Wilson is fucking awesome and she kills it every single
time. She's I just don't want to see your face, bro. I
I agree. I agree sometimes, like I think it's fine to use I
think it's fine to use it for to use it sometimes. But at the
same time, it would be nice to have have voice actors. It would
be nice to have these actors play characters that don't look like them, because
there's there's an element of believability that's kind of lost in that's because that's right
there for me, right, because it used to be that video game characters
looked very distinct, like no other character looked like like Leon Kennedy, and
like no other character looked like fucking Marcus Phoenix, and nobody, no other
character looked like these people because they were their own characters. But now it's
like, because we have real actors playing them, Now we're seeing the same
video game character and like a bunch of different video games, and now it's
like, oh, well, are you in your head? You're like,
this doesn't fucking make sense. Yeah, And it's easier to get over it
in like movies and stuff. But it's a lot easier movies because we're used
to that that is, that is its thing, and video games is different
thing now because I literally I'm like, oh, this is Deborah Wilson.
This is not right. Is not the person and man that was happening,
like said, Halo five Detroit become human like this, there's this thing we're
almost like bro like, I I don't need Like Jesse Williams did this for
actually a few video games due he was in a fucking two K. He
was like your dad. He was like your canon dad, which made no
sense. It wasn't even old enough to be your dad. But you can't.
Yeah, and I'm like, what the fuck is this? I don't
care about Jesse Williams. Im sure he's probably a good actor in his show.
What is that Gray's Anatomy, I think, or one of those things.
Yeah, but I'm like, it would it would be nice if it
would be nice, very least if they could likety know. Yeah, I
wish I could just tweak the tweak the character models a little bit, just
to make them at least at the very least like make them look different.
Like that's what I would want. Imagine if you were in a video game
they asked you to voice character, would you want it modeled after your face?
Me? No, that's insane, fucking big ass stomach and all.
Bro dude, but you're like, yeah, you have to like you're you're
you're a spartan. But they make the armor like accommodate your body shape,
that'd be amazing. You know what, it's honestly, dude, I feel
like it's hard for me. It Deborah Wilson, Like, I was a
fan of her in live action stuff, like I loved her on Mad TV
and all that stuff, absolutely, and I noticed her in video games,
but I didn't appreciate her in video games until fucking Sabbathune and Destiny, where
like her voice acting was so good, but she doesn't. It's because she's
playing a demon monster that doesn't look at anything like her. And because I
could separate that, I was like, Wow, this is like a really
fucking good performance. Every other time I've seen her, it's I've just seen
Deborah Wilson, right gets in the way. No, no, you're I
was just saying it just actually, like I think sometimes it gets in the
way. It's just like what the actual performance is. I was watching.
I didn't play just real quick, just let you go. Yeah, I
was watching because I didn't play the New Star Wars, the Survivor whatever the
fuck it's called. Uh oh yeah, and I'm watching Deborah Wilson whoop Darth
Vader's ass and I'm like, this is weird. It just feels like I
literally and I've I've been watching Debora Wilson for so long. Actually even I
think I've said on the podcast that she kind of actually harassed me. She
kind of she kind of did, and it's, uh, it is what
it is. It's still fine. I love meeting her, but yeah,
I just wish it didn't look like her because I I just I'm literally I'm
thinking of her old roles and stuff that I associate her with, and now
she's fighting Darth Vader, and I'm like, ah, just you know,
just she was whooping on Darth Vader's ass to she fucking beats on him.
Du I was like, God, damn Vader, you dumb black bitch,
do something quick, you know, like you know, like Derel Wilson whoop
on you with embarrassing as my having a little fucking punk ass ca samurai no
legs, having ass, fucking fucking cyborg beating off, grabbing. It was
like a bug with the samurai fucking helmet on. Like if we just look
at his eyes, he just looks like he has like like you should be
sprout wings and this really pastry Darth Vader. He lost his arm, then
he lost his leg and arms. Question that's true. Oh yeah, we
should go Holy shit, we got another question. We got another question.
Gay. Jonah Gamison, chief editor of The Gaily Bugle, rode in very
cool. So, is are there any foods you look at as being gay?
Not just in appearance or consumption, but just as a general vibe.
I personally think spaghetti and most types of pasta are really gay. But I'm
not sure why. So what what does context? Does he actually mean like
home erotic or like home yeah, I think so, or just like the
general kind of vibe, like I'll give you one popsicles. Yeah, I
was gonna say posticles I think are like incredibly gay. Not because well no,
because there's something manly about Frankfooter. Well, I mean its it depends
on you. No. But here's here's what I'm saying. Right here,
Here's here's what I'm saying. How do you eat a popsicle? Is like
you're sucking on it, You're lapping it up, You're like licking it up
beside, And chances are the chances are it's like multi colored or like really
vibrant, you know, like a bomb cop yeah, eat corn cob so
I guess for you insane? That is so that is so homophobic to do
you do not? There's no chance in hell you eat popsicles that way.
I do though, I don't believe that. And why do you? Huh?
And why do you a little kid? What kind of so? What
kind of criminal taught you that? No, you mean, what type of
homophobe taught you that? That's what you really mean? To just wake King?
You can't eat it this way? King? No, that's that's Uh,
you know, what's wrong with what's wrong with being a little phobic?
What's what's wrong with being a little phobic? I mean, I guess it
depends on what you're phobic about. I guess, but uh, Like,
I don't care if you're a clown phobic or whatever. The clowns, clowns,
stupid clouds are stupid as fuck. I mean, I don't I'm not
even I'm not even afraid of clowns, but I just think they're their clowns.
I think I think every clown should have to I think every clown should
have to pay a lot of money to be allowed to live. I like
it like a huge tax to be able to live people come and kill you?
Is Is that the Is that the most the gayest food? Though?
I think popsicle absolutely. I one time, I one time had a moment
where my brother called me out, like kind of like an AO moment where
I'm just laying in my bed eating a big stick. Right, So I'm
laying down of my bed, just going to town on a big stick and
it just looks like someone's dunking their p this in my face while I'm slaying
on my bed, and he was just like and he's just laughing at me,
and I'm like, well, fuck, how else do you eat ice
like? You could be you could be like with your homies and just bite
the thing like I'm just gonna bite this ship like I've seen people bite ice
cream cones like, you know, instead of licking the ship out of it.
And I'm like, it's just how homophobic are you? Dude? Just
licked that ship. I would rather, I would absolutely rather be perceived as
gay than bite an ice cream insane. I wouldn't. But that's just me.
That's crazy. If I'm lying down eating a fucking ice cream cone and
there's fucking ice cream coming out my nose and ship, like someone busted into
my mouth so much that came out my nose. You don't, I would
never know, No, but like I would never let that happen to be
never. That would more likely happen if you bit into it, come out
of your fucking you look like you've been through the ringer. That's you have
to like, yeah, take a bite and then sneeze because like, yeah,
like you lick enough exactly happen. You're orchestrating your own failure on this
front by doing what you're doing. So I'm gonna have you buy ice cream.
I'm gonna throw pepper in your face, and then you're just gonna like
fucking this ice cream over you. That's crazy. Shove ice cream in somebody's
face, pepper spram and kake him down and flight of stairs. And that's
that's how I go. Have you ever seen a video where like you guys,
have you ever heard a Ninjago? No, I'm not fucking having this
conversation this little with this video of this little baby like throwing up out of
his nose and the vomit comes out of his nose. He was like mister
Miyagi and they start playing a Ninja go opening. It's really funny. That's
so dumb, coming, turn me gay, very racist baby, so it's
like it's not a it doesn't mean to be. Yeah, coming me,
turned me gay and fuck me deep, so dick and banging your head baa,
your names are too long. At a certain point, your names are
too long, they wrote in He says on the set of the Clint Eastwood
film any which way you can. The Orangutang Star, the Orangutang co star
was caught stealing a donut and the trainer took the ape out back and beat
it. It later died of its injuries. My question is this, if
you could take any non human character from a movie and beat it to death,
who would it be? What a segue? Yeah, first of all,
what the hell were you beating the orangutane with for it to even like
sustain injuries that bad? Yeah, dude, even orangutan death Iran Tan could
slap your head backwards like you could just like break your neck by slapping you.
Literally, we have separate muscle segments. They have one muscle. That's
why they're so fucking strong. Like there there's just one bustle of strength throughout
the arm. They don't have to work out pieces of their arm and if
they hit you, kill you. So he went out there, like,
I don't know a fucking with and beat that. He just has a fucking
average. The idea, the idea of just some fucking savage running out into
the back of some film set with meole mir itself and beating an orangutang.
That is crazy. It's electrified. You see him pick it up, and
you see the current moving through and you're like, yo, that his hair,
his hair up, his hair is standing up from the statics. Wait,
he's worthy enough. He's not worth anything, he's worthy. He's worthy
because he's about to beat it to that he's worthy. That orangutang is either
the most evil thing you could possibly imagine, or he is so strong that
he circumvinced the will of mule there, which all of it is scary,
all of that it's no good scenario. I believe the latter because I mean
that to even to even want. I don't know, man, that that's
that's crazy. Hey, I'll give that dude this flowers. That's fine.
That was that's fine. You know who I would beat to death if I
would, and I have to hear them being beat I have to hear it.
I have to be there and hear them begging for help. Donkey from
Shrek, I would love to hear Donkey from Strike getting beat to death.
Eddie Burthy to be beat to death as Donkey though as Doc. So we
just put on a Donkey costume and then you beat him. You cut,
you cut, you know, it's like Star Wars where you like, you
cut a donkey open, you shove Eddie Murphy inside it, and that just
hang it from like a row open to just watch kids hit it with a
bat until until until you had a muffled Eddie Murphy screaming from inside a dead
donkey. I'm dying here. Oh man, that's great. I would laugh
my ass off. Racist for me to do an impression of Eddie Murphy,
Yeah, no, I don't think so, because you're doing his voice,
Like would it be racist to do Joe Peshy's voice? So what so what
is what's the problem Joe Ed Murphy? What's the problem? See? Look,
you know what, it's more racist to say that's racist because you're just
implying that, like, oh, that's just how all black people talk.
But that is absolutely not true. Most black people on Earth do not speak
in a black scent, a Black American accent, so that the idea of
thinking that I'm doing this voice is very small minded. It's it's not even
has no business in this fucking world, because that's just like Derek. Derek,
I just talked about putting one of the most beloved comedians of all time
inside of a donkey's body and beating it to that, beating him. Do
you think anything is too low for me on the total pole anything like that?
Again, you should be doing that, man, That's that's our call.
That's not funny. But yeah, but but mule Nair with the with
the donkey you got you gotta You asked, handler, could you take care
of this animal? Sure? Buddy? What wait? First, what did
he do? What? What did he do? Because that's that's the most
He literally picked up a donut and he was grabbed the heugh of its neck
and dragged it outside, threw it against the trash can, whooping. So
what is it, Murphy do what a donkey dude to deserve? You don't
asked me like one too many questions. Yeah, he asked, he asked
you he asked you if you he asked if you get, uh what what
what do you got? What do you got? It's like the idea of
him this happening to him because he double parked or something. Yeah, something
something, something really mundane? Did you double punk? Donkey? And my
wife? Can you imagine, like, can you imagine approach? Like can
you imagine you're driving your car and you approach like you approach like a roll
you like you do a rolling stop at a stop sign? Yeah, something
that simple, and then like your door opens, you're immediately hit, you
see stars. You wake up in a donkey like you wake up in well
in something because you don't know, no, you know, based on the
way you feel, you have like two moments to feel on this is a
fucking donkey. Yeah, you can see it's it's hollowed out too, so
you could like you could hear anything like fit your you could fit your legs
and hands into the legs and legs and arms, and you wake up in
like, yeah, yeah, I could wear it like a suit sort of.
Oh man, you're like you a little bit, You're like, there's
definitely a donkey. I'na, this is definitely a donkey, and you can.
I guess you could peer out of the mouth like of the of the
donkey, Like that's where you can like see I guess, yeah, yeah,
yeah, like the exactly like the turtles. And you just see this
mother walking up charge a building exactly the lightning fucking spouting off of it.
You're like, oh no, all I did was come to a rolling stop,
dude. It was just a rolling stop. Where's my car at?
I wasn't even close to home. Where's my car at? Where did you
leave my car? This is? This is? This one's a good question.
Chris making a disabled mango baby, strapping lead bricks and styrofoam on it
and expecting it to be good at combat wrote in I don't remember what the
hell this is. I don't know if that's a reference to something we talked
about or not. But I don't like at this point, Like, I
really I can't remember. But he wrote, Hey, himmy Berner and his
oh himmy Burner and his fairly black friends, fairly odd parents. I get
it. Oh okay, He wrote in he says, what is the most
disrespectful album to gay cover? And what is the most gay song to straight
cover? It's kind of an interesting idea. Yeah, the idea of taking
like a really gay song and making it making it straight. I thought about
that would be pretty fun. I don't know how queen a straight song,
I'd be so dispectful. Maybe there is a song by I think it's the
I can't remember if they're called The out There Brothers, and the song the
chorus is literally I want to fuck you in the ass, bet, I
want want to fuck you in the as. It's a real song. Uh
so that's literally the gayest song. Uh so, what would you just do
like your pussy? I don't know. You guys need to hear you.
Guys need to hear that song though. If you have, I've heard it.
I've heard it for sure. I feel like you showed it to me.
Probably what is the most straight American album? So the most disrespectful.
So you're onto something because when I did that cover of the Oliver Anthony,
the Richmond whatever, the handful of comments I got because it kind of got
picked up in the algorithm on TikTok, and there's just a handful of cops
of people this is so fucked up, Like they're so offended. I was
liking all their comments yeah, it wasn't the most of them, but there
was like, there was a handful of comments. I at least saw like
five of people like, oh, this is uncalled for, like because there's
because I think it's like these people that are so I don't know, man,
I think that when they just have their their their their persona, their
alter their egos like wrapped up into like this ship, that they get so
mad that you dare make fun of it or something. And uh, I
just had a similar experience with that with the I posted the fake the shittiest
photoshop job of like, oh, here's Jeffrey, here's Donald Trump basically kissing
jeff Jeffrey Epstein on the on the cheek or whatever. It's like originally Trump
in the back of like a limo with Ivanka, his daughter, and he's
like and then somebody just placed Jeffrey Epstein's head over Evanka where it's not her
hair's not even chopped out, and it's so shittily done. I just put
as a caption this is a real photo from the unsealed documents, right,
and pretty much ninety eight percent of people on the joke. But then like
there's like ten people that are like, that's that's clearly fake, like why
would you do it? And I'm like, what, why would you do
this? And I'm like why are you? How do you How's it's so
hittily done that I'm like, surely this isn't gonna happen, right, Like
I'm thinking that, surely there's not gonna be a handful of people that but
it didn't fail. That was my That was my exact experience with that ai
grandmother in the in the resent table. Oh right, right, except like
at like a magnitude that I did not anticipate even slightly. It's really no
legs, that's ridiculous. They thought like they just they thought they cut this
woman's legs off and put it in like so many millions of people believe they
just vivisected their grandmother and put him in a fucking coffee table. Was crazy.
It really makes me sad. Like sometimes I'm like this, Like if
I saw like one or two comments, I think, oh, that's funny,
like what an idiot. But then when I see like more and more
people believe some obviously fake bullshit, I'm like, damn, it makes my
me know, my mind it goes to it immediately goes to damn these people
vote. I was like, damn, these motherfuckers vote, dude, like
this is it is. I get like to that point where like, damn,
these motherfucker's gonna vote. But anyway, so, uh, I was
bringing up that all of that. I think some type of country thing.
They're probably something that is supposed to be so manly and like country strong,
or some type of rock song or something that's supposed to be like tough,
would be the best thing to just gayify. Maybe like one of those country
songs about nine to eleven Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like like
have you forgotten yeah, how it felt that they that that fucking bullshit to
see your homeland underfun? Dude, Absolutely, there's a there's a way to
you know that song. So shit, we gotta we have to figure out
how to do that. Like I would love to I would love to make
a gay version of like a nine to eleven country song. That would be
so fun. That would be I think that's I think I think that's the
best one to do it too. There's that one and then Proud to be
an American, yeah, or at least I know, And then there's uh
ship, there's a song that came out last year that maybe you guys heard
of it, maybe didn't actually hear it, but you at least know of
it, where this guy says something like don't try this in a small town,
and it's essentially an anti black Lives Matter song because it's just like it's
just like, oh, you don't you dare do any of this stuff,
like you know, don't riot, don't protest, don't do anything. Uh,
if you tried this in a small town, you would get killed essentially,
And then it's it. It's such a ship song. But yeah,
I think doing a country run would be really fun. Yeah. Alternatively,
I think the gayest song to do a straight version of would probably like I
think all of our earlier suggestions were good too, but maybe one of the
maybe little Nasa X has something that's right, that's really that devil song?
What was that one? Uh? I covered it anymore? I don't remember
me? Call me by your name? Is that was called what is wrong?
I don't know? It does sound wrong? You're probably right three years
ago. Call me when you want, call me when you need. Yeah,
yeah, I am so straight? All right? One one last thing
we don't have to really get that into it, but we was We meant
to get into it, but we forgot. And Gwyneth Paltrow's Unburnt Vaginal Candle
wrote in Hey guys, quick one, but did you guys see that some
kid beat Tetris? I did? That's crazy, Like I didn't even realize
that that was a thing that hadn't been done until until like yesterday. No,
I didn't. I it actually kind of that kind of it's kind of
breaking my brain a little bit. It's impossible to It's it's kind of impossible
to imagine because I like, how how the fuck? It's like pac Man,
where I remember being a kid, I played so many levels that I
quit before I that before I won, because I'm like, when does I
just assume this? Oh this shit doesn't end? And so that's what I
assumed with Tetris. Yeah, I guess that's what every I guess that's what
literally every single person ever thought about Tetris as well. Yeah, they were
just like, oh, yeah, you can't beat this, and then everybody
just unanimously gave up. And then this one kid just decides to do it.
Right. That's insane. It just but it's like it just happened.
Why, Yeah, the amount, the amount of the amount. Look,
I watch a lot of so I don't really watch a lot of uh when
people are trying to like games done quick, I don't watch a lot of
stuff happening in real time. Usually watch documentaries or making people making videos of
here's like some of the fact, you know, like an overview of shit.
And I watched The God of War one and I've watched some of these
people the ship that they go through that they do, and the amount of
time that they invest in to beat some of this ship as quickly as possible,
like just and I'm shocked that there, you know, like there's completionists
that I feel like, well, clearly somebody would have beaten this a long
time ago. That just it sounds it just sounds insane to me that just
happened. Like, are you fucking with me? What are you doing?
He's fighting sleep? Yeah, I'm going I'm going to zoom in on him
in this part of the podcast where he's clearly fighting the urge to sleep.
I thought you were jerking off, but like you weren't being fancy about it,
just jerking off real fucking silently. Yeah, just like like really small
strokes really like you don't want to wait like a bunch of you get like
a bunch of little dolls hands. You put it all over the head and
you move them all a little bit. Are you practicing? Is he?
Is he practicing for? Are you practicing for? For? For? Uh?
Keith David Screen? Yeah, he's just like you're just kind of like
getting like, all right, i gotta do micro strokes so he doesn't notice.
I gotta do. I gotta do notice. I'm gonna come at the
screen on him. You know what you should do though, You should get
like some type of so you kind of you start edging and then you get
get uh. They have these uh penis vibrating things like where you insert your
penis. It's like a pocket pussy or whatever, but like a taco or
something, and you answer your penis into it and it vibrates the it vibrates
your well, it's just like a it's a sex toy, right, but
it's a vibrator for men. It vibrates your So the most nerve endings are
on the bottom of your chef or the opposite side of your your penis head.
So that's where you get one of those. You turn it on in
the last like five minutes or whatever, you'll be good to go. Right
as we're reading the names, while Keith David's on, you slip that on,
you turn it on. We are, by the way, maybe we
are one degree. We are one degree removed from Keith David at this point
on multiple vectors. It's very bizarre, like we work with we know people
who work with him, who have worked with him. It's fucking bizarre.
But so this is getting more and more likely. We're willing willingness into existence.
If he did podcast, he could probably meet him because I know,
like, I'm good friends, not good I'm pretty good friends with the friend
the person that he's working for on the show, and I can just ask
to meet him when Okay, would you mind if I like talk to Keith
And she'll be like, yeah, go ahead. You're talking about viv Yeah
yeah, I'm like, I mean, I'm talking for a while. I
know she works around us, but do it. She lives right next to
you, literally what no, no, no, no, no not anymore.
She used to live by you. She lives over by well like whatever,
people, people relax, relax, Yeah, what are you doing?
What you call it. Yeah what that yeah? Perfect? She lives on
three sixteen fucking he went from spoiling. He went from spoiling Balder's Gate and
in the first five minutes of the podcast to spoiling somebody's entire almost if you
if you're still playing ballders Gate, but if you haven't finished ballders Gate yet,
it's your fault. I don't care. No, no, that's not
what happened. You spoiled. Like the new thing the Patch five were talking
about Patch five. That was funny, ast fuck, oh my god,
bro, Patch five. It's really nice. Everyone should do that. I
did. I did them. I went through my all my my playthroughs and
experienced the uh like three different of the of the Patch five So that was
really nice. That was cool. Eventually did do that. The characters go
through so much bullshit in that series, Like everyone goes through such an luberan
amount of bullshit for them to be like, here's here's a bit of a
happy ending. The cool thing about it it's closure that people weren't even demanding,
unlike say Mass Effect three. When that happened, everyone was like,
what the fuck? Like I did all that ship for three games and then
it just like ends and there's no wrap up all the things that I've done.
And then there was a patch like that was like a few games for
free, and then they gave you some clothes and I'm like, oh,
it's funny that you didn't think about that before, like they weren't even planning
on doing it, and then Larryan's like, hey, let's give them a
fucking cherry on top that people were already satisfied with the game. I was.
I was like fine. I was like, it's fine, you know,
I I know what's happening. I know how things have ended at least,
but now it's like, oh cool, I get to actually you know,
like it what a what a fucking wonderful What a wonderful Uh, what
a wonderful studio. I gotta say it gives you hope for more to happen.
Did you read the question or am I just trip and I don't even
remember what happened. Oh, we were just talking about like they wrote in
about the the kid who beat Tetris. Oh, right, that was it.
That was it? Okay, I guess I guess beating touches is getting
max score, right, Well, it's yeah, I think the idea is
to get max score. But like he so, to clarify, there are
versions of Tetris that you can beat very easily. Tetris effect is one of
those, Like you know they're there are various Attetris that you can beat by
breaking it. How'd he break it? He says, thirteen. So the
original first to text by breaking it? Yeah. Yeah, So the nineteen
eighty nine's Tetris, like the original Tetris for the game Boy and various arcade
cabinets and and probably s NES or nes whatever that is the original version that
has never been beaten before, apparently because there are issues with it, Like
it gets to a point where like the score gets so high that the game
shuts down because the code can't reconcile it. Ah, and no one's ever
gotten that high. Oh so he maxed out all nines. Yeah, yeah,
he maxed out all nines and kept going and kept going and kept going,
and then and then the game just died, which is crazy. It's
crazy to me, that's never happened in thirty nine years. That's fucking ridiculous.
It that's why that's the thing. They're all, I'm like, what
it took this long and then you look at the kid too. It's funny,
go like, of course he looks like that. It's not thick incredibly
thick glasses. Like he's just motherfucker just you know, thirty four years Sorry
that dude. Oh yeah, Like it's he has a diaper on, you
know, so you can't have to get up. I saw some I saw
some like news reporter. I saw I saw some news reporter. I saw
some video like some news reporter talking about it and like, well, they're
like some kid beat Tetris or whatever, and he's like that's not that's not
a go go outside. And it's like that, it's like, you know,
you're shitting on this fucking thirteen year old boy. Yeah, like on
live on the fucking news. You're such an asshole. Go outside. I'm
like, but he's a kid. He's supposed to play, isn't he supposed
to play video games? He's also done something. He's also done something that's
like hasn't ever been done. That's kind of crazy. Like even if it
is like a like a fucking video game, that's nuts. People had thirty
four years to beat this and nod until this kid cool. It definitely it.
Actually, that's what I was like, Wow, that seems like something
that I mean, because there's even like, say, oh, the people
that have I've beaten all the Souls board games without getting hit. There's like
multiple people that have done that, And that to me is like I would
never even I would never even waste my time trying to attempt beating even a
portion of the game like that. Probably exactly the same, Like, no
way I'm spending my time doing that. That's insane. Yeah, I have
a hard time justifying a platinum. It's difficult for me to even justify platinum
a game, let alone doing this fucking unreasonably like this thing that no one's
asking me to do, right, Yeah, you're required. I don't think
I've ever I don't know if I've actually platinumed a game. Really, I
don't. I don't have I would have to check because I probably I've probably
gotten close, but I just don't have memory. I'm like, yeah,
me, Actually, for what I'm saying is I've I've never gone out of
my way. Maybe on Xbox three sixty maybe I'm like, all right,
I want to let me get all the achievements. Maybe I think I used
to do that. I definitely that was a long time that for I tried
that for a little bit, but like I tried one hundred percent games that
I that mean a lot to me if I can like, So that's why
it's like, you know, Ape Escape and Spider Man one and two don't
necessarily mean a lot to me, but they're like Spider Man games, and
so there's like an there's like a weird sense of obligation there. Yeah,
I know, I it's still they're also very Yeah, they're also like they're
basically begging for you to do it. It's like it's it's so easy,
but I see the uh there's on Xbox. I think the only games I
platinum. There's no platinum, but like it got all the achievements in is
right. I think Halo three and ODST those those are the only games that
I've ever that I've ever tried. But I think I might I don't know.
I kind of want to try Gears of War. I think that's doable.
I think that'd be cool. Unlessly, there's like multiplayer trophies, in
which case I'm oh, yeah, yeah, which actually might be a problem.
I hate Yeah, yeah, I think the most like most I think
almost definitely has some. The three is like there's way more MOTI player oriented
than Too. I know too. I know Too had that ridiculous Horde motives.
Even for killing like fifty three thousand, there was like some what the
hell was it? Do you remember what I'm talking about? Just something year
years whatever it is, It's like, I ain't doing that. That's too
many. That's I'm have to kill tens of thousands of people? Like nah,
dude, that's like it's like fucking a couple of years worth of shit
or something. I'm like, nah, I'm not gonna play that much.
Yeah, it's it's it might not have been fifty three that I'm trying to
remember whatever. Yeah, even if it was like ten thousand, I'm still
like, do you know how many fucking how many times I have to do
that? Because you probably only killed like a few hundred, like like like
I can't, it's I don't, it's whatever, yeah, whatever. But
like an example, I've I've put in how many hours I put in a
Baller's Gate? I have? I have one hundred I thought I had,
Oh, so I have one hundred and sixty hours in Baller's Gate. Three
and I only have thirty four achievements out of fifty four, so I'm still
missing twenty. But I have one hundred, so I'm like, fuck now.
It's still a point where you have to just go out of your way
to do specific stuff like oh, I have to do this character and I
have to do this, and I'm like, ah, like I don't.
I have to. I have to. I basically have to play with every
class. I have to do it. I'm just like, I'm not gonna
do all that shit. I found it so serious. It's called Seriously two
point zero. It's an achievement in Gears of War two. The first one
was seriously, which was in Years War one, where you have to kill
ten thousand people in competitive multiplayer Oh wow, which is probably I don't know
back then it's probably easy, but get there eventually. But here's work.
I ain't playing that much though. He's seriously two point zero, where it
was ten thousand enemies and Horde or any mode. I guess, so I
guess it. I guess is that collectively? Yeah, overall, I remember
it being more if it's yeah, how close I am I can get that?
I wonder how close I am to that I want to check. But
uh yeah, let's let's move on, let's get let's go to hell.
I didn't know you could do that. Just look at something achievement. I
could pet the albear cub and the dog at the same time. Uh,
it'll balls get three. Just reading the fucking achievements, it's actually kind of
like, wait, what the fuck, there's some things that you can do.
The achievements are I don't know, Like I'm kind of I'm trying to
get into achievement hunting again just because I feel like it is kind of there
are a lot of games that I like, I I want to you're ever
sitting with like I want to play a game, but like I don't want
I'm nothing's coming to mind. Yeah, where like, oh I don't necessarily
know what game I want to play, I just kind of want to play
it. Having like a list of things to Platinum is kind of nice because
it's just like, oh, I get to just kind of turn my brain
off. I listen to listen to a podcast, listen to music, and
just sort of try to bump out a bunch of trophies. It's it's pretty
good. Zen. I'm doing that with spire, the first spire of the
dragon right now just been like really nice and chill. But anyway, I'm
gonna read the names now. Thanks for listening to the first episode of the
Stark Tank podcast for twenty twenty four. See you soon. Yeah, nigga,
I'm gonna be writing twenty three on so many fucking documents for the next
few months. Okay yo, you I don't like that. Yeah, I
said it made it dude, you know it's hilarious. I don't even I
didn't even I didn't even register that you said it halfway said. I was
like, oh no, we did. It's so close. Oh my god.
Man. I just I just want on not be able to say it.
I know I can. I just you can't do it. I can.
I can't let me dispel you, let me disabuse you of the notion
that this is something within your capability. It is not it is I can
do it, all right, I'm gonna really doesn't count me down. Hey
wait, hold on a second before you read their names. So there's what
the first achievements you get. I just want to point this out and bose
get through one of them. It says take control of the not Lloyd and
Escape the Hells is so ninety point five people did this, and I'm like,
does that mean that like the other like ten percent essentially or just nine
percent they didn't beat the game? Oh no, sorry that the first because
that's the isn't that the first sequence? Yeah, so they just just fucked
off they try to. I don't like this game when they stop. Yeah,
that's what it is. It's literally just people like being like, oh,
it's turn based and then they shut it off. That's that's literally explanation.
It's the only explanation for that. Yeah. Some of those some of
those percentages lists are interesting because it's like, this is something it is something
that you learn over time, is that most people don't finish their games.
Yeah, that's true, they just don't. I was like, I got
to get through the fucking story, man, Like I've abandoned some games,
but usually because of problems. I can ever beat The Shadow of War The
Lord of the Rings because it keeps crashing. I just can't beat it.
And I was like, fuck this, I'm not dealing with this. That's
a game that's in That's that's an example of a game that I didn't finish
it and not even necessarily for problems. I just like, there are some
games that you get to a point where you're just like, I think I'm
satiated, Like I'm not if especially if you're not into the story really or
you don't care that much about the story. Right, If you're into the
story, I don't understand why you would stop playing or not finish a game.
But if you're just there for gameplay and the story is not really delivering
for you and you've kind of got all you want of it, I've definitely
put games down like that where I'm just like, yeah, like Tony Hawks
pro Skater is a great example, Like there's no way I finish Tony Hawks
pro Skater because I just like skating around. I don't even care about progressing
in that game, you know at all. Definitely beat the first one,
I'm not sure about all the other ones, maybe three, and then I
beat Tony Hawk under Ground. Yeah I think I two as well. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying one hundred percent more stuff now,
but I like, I don't know one hundred percent of video game is
important to me. For games, I love, that's it. Yeah,
that's kind of where I'm balls. I don't care. That's That's what I'm
saying. It's like, man, I do wanna, I do want a
hundred I would love one hundred percent years of war two. I just don't
know how feasible that would be because that is my favorite one and I love
I don't know. We talk about it constantly, but anyway, read the
names. Cut me down, bitch three two one making a prince Albert Pier
saying out of sodium metal. So whenever you take a piss your dick explodes,
we can bang if you want to, you can piss in my be
all right, Trump as Marcus Phoenix, be like, oh oh dumbna stupid,
let's go. I love it. I love it. Blow a dick,
a female dick. Gay is what I will become. Gay, Dora
me blow gay me, Oh my god, Leon Sam's big meaty stinks.
Andy the man whose handies are stre and Dandy Goku shoves the sensu being up
is ass and clenches. Wait, what would happen? Butt chucking sends you
beans is crazy because it's already so fast acting as is, it would get
like maybe get like the amount of time that you gain by the swiftness of
it entering your bloodstream through your anus versus your digestive system is not even equivalent
to the time that you would lose pulling down your pants and getting yourself prepared
for that. That is very true. Like it's you pretty much get the
benefit before it leaves your esophagus because like you hear the gulp and then they
immediately go cry crunched it twice and they've read in their back. Yeah,
it's like a sign. It's it's like a Sigini tablet basically like reverse.
That's great. Oh man, sneak sneak o. Uh. Cowering in fear
from a crispy cream donut like a veteran hearing fireworks. I don't know what
this is a reference to. I don't. I don't know if I get
the jokes. Cream like a glazed is the idea that it's glazed? I
don't. I don't know either. I don't know if I get it.
I feel like this is a story. I'm not privy to heat Smoker Gayzilla
minus come. Uh, mister, I still haven't seen it. Goddamn it.
Uh, mister whiteh rise against re education to the sound of a black
eye pounding away to the rhythm of the thrusting deep inside may dumb homeless transfem
whose resolution is to fuck Alexander the Gay and my new gaming PC. It
would be naked cock, not solid cock. Fuck you. Yeah, yeah,
it probably would be naked cock. Honestly, Swen got a talent for
making me laugh. You are tune in to ninety eight point seven w r
ip with with Negro in this spic Mariachi music with fog horns. That's fucking
ridiculous. That's definitely. By the way, this is this radio thing.
You gotta send me those that list of songs. Oh right, guys,
yeah, I forgot about it. Yeah until this. You gotta send me
that list of songs. Give me ten songs of yours that you want on
our radio station and I'll figure it out. Just literally, because that's a
great Negro on the spic. That's great. How How gay am I?
By semen m you were meant to copy? The line is pretty good.
It's like it like borders that line of like it's not clever, but like
it's it works. It's like his name, yeah exactly. It's like Eminem's
like, oh, that's kind of cute. I get it, I get
it. You were meant to copy the line in brackets. Oh well,
onto the next love semen m Obama, Lord of Drone strikes. Fuck it.
Carry on with the Briton slander. Shit sucks here, carry on,
carry on, carry on, sir. Uh. Listening to Sweeney makes me
consider racism Chris for the playing of Chris. Uh. Whoa Jesus Christ?
Right there, It's all over, sorry, baller of the first sin.
You don't you don't have Wait, what is this? You don't have You
don't have to be afraid anymore, sweety, Please come to Sweden. I'm
the biggest boy in my village and I can protect you from the dire moose
and that what the fuck? I can't even pronounce this. The fact that
there are dire moose over there is terrifying. The concept of diar mouse is.
I don't have to I was just thinking the same thing. That's a
house. I said something in the chat. This is what at the is
at the end of that. I have no idea how to pronounce that at
all. That is beyond me. I will protect you from the dire moose
and oh my fucking god, jelly old dipship screaming while I pissed so hard
the steam, the stream turns into a fine mist. That's that's fucking crazy.
The p s I required for that is fucking outrageous. Yeah, he's
overclocked, becoming homeless to support the homies. Helly, Yeah, dude,
welcome aboard Sweeney with the Eenie Weeny Peenie Elmo found dead in New York City
apartment. I present to you the old Gods of Snart tank featuring Jonathan Young
is Alan Cake. This is harold of gayness. Nice, disrespectful, but
okay, Ao, mister White, get a glass. I want to see
it. Bitch Chris making a disabled mango baby's trapping led bricks and styrofoam on
it and expecting it to be good at combat bro same the Everlasting Gaze.
Back to tank of com Caucasian container, the cracker Barwe for gays, Donald
Trump burping on Dom's clit. Do Christian girls squirt Holy water? Dan hold
her tighter, She's a fighter Schneider. Nice King Kong's ding Dong rode in.
All I can say is that my life is pretty gay. I love
sucking dudes off in the rain. The rain she pipkin on my pip up
elgg average clit energy. Uh found found a condom on a squid? Wait?
What found a condom and a squid on the beach? Let nature do
the rest? Damn damn that is outrageous. Just the hard are star coffee
on twitch? Bitch, she's shinzo on my Dohigi Tila dabe Uh smooshed but
to death by Meghan the Stallion's ass cheeks. Yeah, I don't know if
she's the stallion. Yeah, she's got quite a still presumptuous. She might
be. She's like a stallion, Megan, Meghan a stallion? About that?
A stallion? A thing behind her? Man? I don't know,
Man, I guess she does. It's just I'm disillusioned by a lot of
that stuff because I don't know how much of that ship is fake anymore.
For her, I think it's that's one. I think it's real, seems
real, it's not too much. Saw a video of some girl with a
button implant on Twitter flipping it like I said, be on Instagram a long
time ago. I sent you that video. Yeah. It was like did
you send me this like this? It was like flat right, it was
like an implant and then she flipped it back to the round side. Yeah,
she flipped the implant like under her skin. And I'm just like,
bro, how does that not hurt? First of all, most girls,
that's what people used to do. People used get them things. Now people
just get what do you call it? Bbl So they take them put it
in their usually their stomach fat and theirs and their hips, and they put
it in their ass. I just don't cat it. It's disgusting. It
only looks good if you're worrying, like yoga pants or something like. I
could like them, because there's fire of hip race shows off fucked up,
so you like, you look at their like legs, You're like, yeah,
I like that doesn't look right. I feel like I would have to
be horribly disfigured for me to consider doing anything that invasive to improve my looks,
you know what I mean? Like, I don't. I don't know.
These people severely based off most of your looks, you know. Unfortunately
that's crazy, but yeah, virtually most of them. That's that's it's not
the same, not the same. For men, it's not quite the same.
I think I don't think it's this. I don't think it's the same
for I honestly, like honestly, I think the experience between short men and
and and tall men are completely fucking different experiences. I agree, but gods
agree. But at the same time, women's whole thing. No matter if
you're short, tall, fat, skinny, it's about appearances. Megan's natural,
Megan Stallion's natural. So that's good. You make too much money on
it, that's fine. The uh blowing blowing, lots of guys living in
a game man's paradise, taking dongs of every size, living in a gay
man's paradise, transferm gremlin, exposing people with lactose in Thomerson ninety million rodgers
of ionizing radiation. You should not vinpen angelic DM. So here I am
pretending I'm a growling pam. They've got a cock, They've got my cock
in their hand, realizing I'm a homo man. You tried it, Definitely,
it's better. It's more more effort, but very cool. Mot motor.
What if you're let's say, let's say you're fucking right, you're fucking
a woman, right, good women? Right? Yeah, Okay, you're
give it, you're giving you're giving hers to give it her an old pepperoni,
you know, Okay, and then she turns into a cat. Okay,
what are we doing? Is that? Was it wrong for you to
have been fucking and watch it was a woman? No, this is like
the reverse of that angel woman ship. Yeah, it's literally that. Yeah,
it's wrong if you continue for sure, if she turns back into a
woman. No, because she's a cat. I don't want a cat,
dude, I don't as long as she's not a cat. When I'm sucking,
I think I'm kind of fine. My whole thing is like she probably
cat, you know, tendencies, even as I don't like cats. She
herself and ship like you know, you do the string and she's like attacking
it and stuff. I'd be like, I don't want I don't want that.
I hate everything. I'm so upset. I hate this myself today.
So natural asshole out, Why are you looking at so many Why are you
looking at making the stallions as something I'm trying to I was trying to want
to be one thorough that. Yeah, that's that's complete. That is a
complete natural ass So good for her, it's impressive, Well not really just
a black she's a black woman. She's a tall black girl from Texast.
That's not really that that's very it's it's still a nice ass she has on
her, but she's not like that comes with you that that that that that
comes with your ide over there motoro and open colon is the most heinous thing
I've ever heard something because I didn't you say that that that I don't.
I have no idea what the context of I know I said that because that
that is the only those words in that order would be would would be something
that I would say boter boating and open gol it. I wish I could
remember what the fuck we must have been talking about eating ass or something.
Only maybe I don't know, dude, I really I since all right,
you know, I'm gonna check the comments on this episode if anybody can pinpoint,
like in the comments of this episode on Patreon or on YouTube as well
when it comes out what this is from, because I I remember coming up
with this and laughing in my mind about it, but I don't remember what
the context was at Paul, and I would love to I would love the
context back. It's so funny because like I feel like the audience has a
better grasp on this than we do because we record, because when we record,
we get it kind of it's out of order, you know what I
mean. Sometimes we record, like while an episode that we recorded two episodes
ago goes live, so it's like it's it's weird. I don't know whatever,
what is? What is this? Uh, Craig the Canadian you aren't
even circumcised machine? It's your boy show d and wondering why there isn't a
gay Christmas album. M maybe that'll be something we'll we'll figure that out this
year. This year is gonna be a ramp up on a lot of stuff
for a for a multitude of reasons. Daily Wire presents Matt Walsh's what Is
a Black Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey get Kitticarus on the show and bully him
for being British the entire episode. I I cannot imagine kinds on this program.
I yeah that I I don't know. I feel like I would be
almost too embarrassed to have him on, like of of of these guys,
specifically Sweeny, Like I don't know if I want to. I just don't
want him to interact with him at all, because you're just I don't know
man, you're you you? Uh? What's the word? What is it?
What is when you're when your parents tell you, uh, don't act
a fool because it reflects on me. Dude, I'm cool as ship man.
All right, Gay Sinatra be like, sorry, start alright, Gay
Sinatra, be like, start spreading your cheeks. I'm fucking your ass.
Uh. Three x O and the j I want to do that so bad,
three x O And the Japanese skin professor who suitcase of Yacauza hides was
stolen in Chicago. Superstroking, slurp and stroke and smoking, joking and emoticons
going like this, Keith David, homeless Drip, Lord of uh homeless drip,
m h lord of homeless drip. If you get put on Santa's naughty
list, he'll pop your balls like bubble wrap. Obi won't sha blow me
homeless never homeoless, very cool, very cool, Kremlin de gremlin. That's
it. I'm really gonna do it this time, Keith Deeth Cavid. She
spread it and let me take a sniff of that Mahi fucking police coming hard
as I thrust in pound abby. Good day, my good day, macgady.
All right, Frank Sinatra. That's gay. That's gay. That's what
all the people say. You're riding men in April, suck balls in May.
Oh, that's good, it's yeah, there's something in there's something in
Sinatra. Man, that's that's an untapped gay market. I feel like there's
something there. It's just it's hard to like. Thetrimentation of that is difficult,
is fucking actually because it's yeah, you're we might have to we might
have to heavily consider this. This might be an extent, this might be
a an upcoming extra, ammo, I think gay Sinatra? Spank Sinatra,
spank Sinatra. That's right, that's right, or just make it even just
I don't even know, spank syn cocktra whatever. We'll figure it out.
Gross Yeah, okay, waste say five three are sad gay from Michigan.
A sad guy from Michigan. I'm seeing gay everywhere down bad for a helicopter
dick emoticon so I can see Chris go emoticons going like this to it your
good luck trying to trick me? Uh? Who can take a hard cock,
thrust it in your ass, suck out all your semen while your booty's
getting smashed the Sucking Man, the Sucking Man Coming man, Donkerson monk Giatsu
from fucking Avatar. Yeah, you gotta pay the trolls told to get the
boys whole gage six Gavana. Come in my ass as a man as I
suck on his peen, as a gay, as a queer, as you
plow my bussy. I don't know what this is. Uh the PP,
get the my PP. Get Biggie's for all them niggies. Oh damn,
damn, that's bars. That's how you should. That's how like Kendrick's like
next like beat or whatever. He didn't just to really shock the world again
like a like control or something. He just you know, my my baby,
get biggie for them niggis, you know. And he just goes off
like that's his bar, Like he just comes out as gay. No no,
no, no no. He just says big for the niggs, the
female niggis too. I guess about it. I guess. I mean you
wanted to be philosophical about it, but I think just a literal translation,
he just he really like some niggas, you know, like some black dudes
FA late late late term abortion with the Vanderlind gang. If I were a
gay man with a fenboy or two. The vampire twinking Balder's Gate three made
me slightly less gay. Jeez, what gumballs voice? Actor? Uh calling
dream the f slur Sandman dot Gov John Strickland to your balls hang low?
Can they gobble down my throat? As the thinke is? Rice? Is
it sweeter? Is its spice Marks? Eighteen eighty nine? Spirit Please,
I'm Christmas pilled. I'm no longer going Scrooge mode. But I don't know
what that's so many different ones. It's getting so okay out of the first
time to keep David featuring Paul Joseph Watson's massive fists waffle punching his ship down
the sink drain. Uncle Ben did nine to eleven specifically so there would be
less buildings for Spider Man to swing from. Uh free ras such a such
an ineffective, Like there's still so many buildings. Who is too less?
I'm not to mention the fact that like those like those buildings specifically are the
least important to him, because like they're so high up that he can't really
chain from anywhere, So like it's it's just like they've just been replaced with
more useful buildings for Spider like it's it's crazy. He's all pissed, like
you guys, but the wrong buildings. Sorry, well we're dead, so
we can. Uncle Ben has drug addicts and they got They're boiling alive in
jet as they're having this conversation that was great. Their their skins melting off
their bones in the cockpit of a fucking yea, yeah, fucking yeah.
They're having this conversations like we get the wrong building. It's like it's too
late now to do now. Already in the building, it's already collapsed with
his eye. His fucking eye is melting, and he just goes like,
oh sorry, let me back up, let me turn the plate. Yeah,
let me put the plate in reverse, all right. Pre Riz Blake
nine six crypto scammer and YouTube sensation logan Paul winning the United States champion w
w antchol cigarette Gay Dreams. I would have made a gay parody of the
song I got erection by Turbo Negro, but it's already gay enough. I
don't even know what that is. Turbo negroes a little dish rag. Come
on my pean, I'll ask you an o'field trash Texas Tato salad. Going
down on a girl just to then throw up in her, that is something
else. That's fucking vile. That is something else. Man, that's a
deal break. That is something else. That's a deal breaker. If I've
ever heard one. If if you throw up on my dick, vomit in
it, I disagree. So you disagree with that. So the only reason
I disagree is because has it happened. It hasn't happened. But me,
me and my homies in high school, we were making sex moves. My
friend made the ed tornado, or you you pissed on a girl's toe and
you lick it off like a tornado. And then, uh so mine was
called the pilot punch. And so what you do is fucking while chicks sucking
you off. You take her off, You hit her in the stomach as
hard as you can, and she throws up on your dick, and then
you make her continue sucking your dick. Keep bringing the names Sue, Hulk,
tick, all my ass hairs, Nicky Ziggy, the locusts that fucked
uh the boltok pistol throat hole where Maria's head used to be a roughly human
shaped red flags Jackson dupot. That is so fucking outrageous, badly brave duck
Hunt, goliathoys, I have denied everything even might come ethery and Pagerian hunter
flying bacon with frying bacon with my shirt off when the Angers kind of joined
the view on the Dealey Plaza and is alway running out our list, King
of Haphazard, Derek, You're fucking sick. Fuck you, dude. The
fact you told me that, I'm gonna remember that for the rest of my
fucking life. I'm never gonna forget that shit. A year from now,
I'm gonna be like, God, damn it, that dumb bastard he told
me. I can't forget it. Any listeners wanna participate in the pilot punch,
you gotta pay me a little bit of that trademark, you know,
just a little bit of royalty that pussy. That's actually no, but that's
the only kind of they're not making money that well, I just want them
to give me some money though, just you know, homeless person. No,
I mean that sounds awful, but like I have seen in l A
one time I saw like a I don't just for a minute, and I
was like, Yo, that's that's a good point. That's actually good.
That's yeah, that's actually a very good point. I don't fuck my fans.
I have yeah, I mean i've yeah, all my friends. I
should stop fucking my fans. Sorry, sorry, uh whif I we're in
we're entering in two. Twenty twenty four is a new era. We don't
fuck some homeless people now, yeah, home, It really depends on how
if she's again, if she's just a if she's just a deadbeat, then
that's that's all right, that's a lot of let's just that's not that's not
idea. I'm I'm four more cheating in relationships, man. Era. Man,
we're trying to be progressive in this bitch like all these archaic fucking monogamy
like this. This is some old school pie. Man. You gotta you
gotta, you gotta especially see a hot homeless woman like dude, when you
when are you ever gonna see that again? Homeless bitch? You fucking bare
like bitch, drink me and then you fuck her. Here's the old pilot
punch. You know what I'm saying very dire because the reason why you don't
see that is because they don't live long. Yeah, well, no,
there's all these rich perverts sweep swoop them up exactly, yeah, or the
homeless perverts kill them. That actually is probably You see that video some guy
and some guy fucking homeless lady and uh like he's just honestly, it's some
guy. It's not even like a homeless guy. It's just some guy fucking
homeless lady. Almost people. And then some guy goes up to the phone.
He goes and was like, Hey, what the youre doing. Somebody
goes like, you know, she got AIDS, right, and he goes
like for real, for real, and she goes, I got AIDS.
I don't know if I've seen that, dude, it's I probably would have
remembered that. If I saw that, it's I'll try and find it.
Already doing it, might as well finish up. You know, I did
see some people fucking in New York. They were you know, like the
subway station whatever, I don't know which you guys would probably recognize that,
you guys like, oh, that's over here. Yeah. So they were
just along what avenue or whatever, They're just going to town. I was
like, oh, that's crazy. They're not even trying to have privacy.
New Yorks, bro, I'm telling you we're fucking there's no room for privacy,
so there's no illusion that that was ever possible. You know the point,
it's a good point. Away, Let's get the funk out of here.
Let's get the fuck out of here. Fuck you all. Happy New
Year by homeless. Yeah, hopefully you guys get a home. If you
don't, but if you do, make you remain before you get a home,
make sure you pay us before you get home. First things first,
pay us, and then get the first things first. If you have a
home currently and you lose it, make sure to subscribe to us first before
you make sure in the process you wake up, you buy some food,
pay us, then pay your bills. Yeah, subscribe to us on the
on the way to your your own foreclosure exactly. Be a fucking selfish bitch.
Yeah, thank you. The economy is really bad though. I'm sorry
for all your losses. I'm not at all. I don't feel bad for
anybody. Yeah, Kingston's trying to build a castle.