Hi, I love you. I love you too, love your podcast.
I don't pants. I know I wore them especially for you, because I
wore them right next to the leopard print I had zebra print. I wanted
to really mess up your mind be assaulted. This is Laura Kane after Dark.
I'm Laura Kane. This is Eric Rimmer. Hi. We have producer
Brian who's going to be up in this chair here pretty soon. And I'll
tell you why right now. Yeah, have Okay, this game has been
around for like probably ten years, but we're going to be playing. They
are going to be playing, not me. No, no, no,
no, no, why not because I am the distributor and I am the
one you're the facilitator. Yes, you should get bie on your own supply
us. Never get high on your own supply. You know that those are
I don't know that, you know. That's what all I have to say
is one thing I know. If we throw up, it's going to be
on her. Stop it. Yeah, okay, Well on these beautiful white
sper blankets. It's a game that's been around for a while and it's the
it's called bean Boozled, And I'll explain it to you, which is now
going to be renamed as puke on Laura No stop it. So then you
guys are so Brian will be up here in just a minute. How about
Natalie Vale on Tuesday? Monday, Tuesday. I'll tell you right now it's
so good again if you would want to book something with Natalie Vale. She
is the best psychic I've ever met in my life, and she does so
many more things than that. Just go to Natalie Vale dot com and it's
on our website too. So I'm wondering if I can ask you question?
What last night? I went to bed at eight thirty and I woke up
at seven am, so I had like ten hours of sleep. I'm sorry,
get to get tired again? Can I just recline on the cotch up,
put my legs over yours. I'll still do the podcast. You're actually
tired from sleeping too much? Well, I had to work all day too.
Oh he got up early, is what you say? No? I
got ten hours of sleep? Yeah, then why are you tired? Because
I'm old? Drink your what's in that pepsi? No ginger ale? Why
don't you get something with caffeine in it before you do the podcast? Okay,
Laura, you don't have a stocked green room for the talent. I
know what I was supposed to my rider alike from last year's window. Yeah,
do you at least provide a footstool for him to recline on. Yeah,
she's my footstool. Use that footstool right there? No get away,
great, Oh I don't don't cover my horrible pants. Just put the microphone.
Look, I'll be great. This is Laura after Now, Laura Cae
after Betty by, get up energy, position up and straight, just like
nal we said there we go up, and she said sit up straight and
cross your legs. That's when we were pulling the cards. I can.
I can do this now. Even when my kids would do this to me,
I would I would be so annoyed, like, get your legs off
my get them off, get them off your get them off my thighs,
hideous, get your legs. I can. I can imagine that Laura is
just like sweet, loving mother and then one kid puts like touch, accidentally
touches her and she flies off. Total. I don't like. And if
you sip out of my water glass, I have a big problem. Class.
It's just the weirdest thing. I pour myself my own glass of water,
and then Evan will reach for it and start and I'm like, put
that water down right now, that's my water. Do you want one?
I'll go get you one, but don't drig out of my glass I have.
That's a weird thing with me. It's not even here yet. You're
the raging Bene say it. Okay, you're the raging There you go.
You're of the race, you know what. I accept that because that's what
I'm going to be. Good, A good the best way in the worst
connotation. You're going to be a good You're going to be a good Besy.
Yeah boy, okay, good one. I haven't met one yet,
so let me know what you mean. Okay, before we get started with
all that. And Eric apparently has some something special for me I do for
both of us. Oh, it's for me and you, but not Brian.
No, okay, and well, I'll just see myself out. Then
you can just watch us and enjoy. I'll just produce. I want well,
I'll tell you when. Okay, First we need to talk about someplace
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Shut up. I know when they the wrinkles come back, they come back
with that vengeance. I thought like I was going to see a donkey and
a river at the bottom. They've been keeping her emotionless for a years.
I know, no I need to be emotionless. They press. It's just
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com the commercial Locahoya Cosmetic and Ericspace. I guarantee you right to the side
of that was another naked man just off screen. No, it's just me,
but for sure naked. Yeah, one thousand percent, Yeah for sure.
Oh my god. Weighing just winging totally loves it. He loves it.
Okay, another person he just loves because and this is Jay Wartzler.
Yeah. And Natalie even said that you're getting your your retirement everything, and
you know what, And I'm going to plan for my retirement now that I
know that I'm not dying. Don't anything right exactly. Anyway, here's more
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him at Ja yw at Capitol Growth Inc. Dot com. Oh my goodness,
I wish they could hear conversations. I know, I know, God,
Yeah, they just I'm speaking to me. They're just super mean.
Yeah, come up now, Okay, so Eric, you start with your
host chat all right, because it's a present for us. Yes, So
one of my very very dear friends who have known for many, many years.
She is an accomplished author now and I was talking to her about two
weeks ago about coming down and being on our show, and so she is
looking for some time at timeslot and we'll figure it out in the meantime.
A package came the other day, okay, and her name is Susan Berlin
game Okay. You can buy her books on Amazon. She sent a gift
for you and for me. Ah, so this is for you, okay.
So we're going to open them on the air. And this is something
that she has recently done, and you can purchase it on Amazon. It
says blessing, Okay, become more a twenty one day devotional, Laura,
blessings to you in twenty twenty four and always Susan numbers six twenty four through
twenty six. I don't know what that means, but maybe soon I will,
you will. So okay, this is okay. I'm already intrigued.
And she wrapped it so nice, yes, how sweet? Okay? Nice?
Become more? Oh God, I need this. I need something like
this right. So what Natalie said, Okay, come more? Mm hmm.
A twenty one day devotional are you searching for hope and a fresh start.
As you center your days on God and its promises, you can become
more positive, faith filled, strengthened, and blessed as you navigate each day
and all that comes with it. Start each day with become more and watch
God move in your life in amazing ways. So this twenty one day guide
has unique daily devotions from Susan Berling. Game. Each day focuses on one
verse in chapter in the Bible to help you practice learning how to grow in
your knowledge of God, applying the scriptures directly to your life. Oh okay,
so it's it's it's religious based, yes, but I don't have a
problem with that. I believe in God. And you know what. I
studied the Bible in college. You did well. I took a religious studies
class and it was really interesting, you know, I mean, like as
literature, you know. So this is cool and so you can write out
your daily this is really really great sections become more. I like that.
I like the name of the title. Well, thank you. Fighting battles
out of your comfort zone. It's got things to do and things not to
do, so do this instead of that. So I love it. Yeah,
pause and consider. So thank you, Susan, and we'll see you
on the show soon. Very appreciative. Thank you, very appreciative. All
Right, I'm going to read you a list, and I'm going to tell
you something after I read you the list. Okay, this is my host
chat. Okay, these are I just got this list of everyday things that
people do that are super disrespectful. And I'll read some of the list and
then you can comment, and then one of these things I'm going to go
off on. Okay, oh boy, I'm about to get it. Okay,
no, no, nobody's gonna get it. Here are some things that
people do that are very disrespectful. People who call for sneeze in public and
don't cover their mouth. Come on. People who tailgate when you're driving above
the speed limits, like you're going eighty five and there's somebody behind on your
ass and you're like uh huh hello, Okay, I guess I'll move over
to the second lane real quick. Let me say something really fast on that,
Lilya. Like this last week, I was driving on the eighth Freeway
and there was traffic and it was right around the bend, but you can
kind of see it the guy in front of me starts slowing down a little
too fast, too far out, so I had to kind of slam on
the brakes a little bit, but not that bad. The truck behind me,
which was like still going at probably like eighty five, slams on his
breaks so hard. I hear the tires squealed. I'm just sitting there like
at a dead stop, looking at the card in the rear, and I'm
like, oh my god, I'm about to get like just killed here.
So his brakes are like squealing the entire way, and then he actually has
to turn off the freeway into the shoulder and narrowly misses, like just rammed
into the back of me, and I was like, oh my god,
thank god. So yeah, tailgating sucks. Yeah. People who don't flush
the toilet in public restrooms, Oh gross, what are you thinking? Come
on, that's gross. Drivers who hang out in thus fast lane and drive
slow. Yes, what the hell? Parents who let their kids run them
up in public and they don't do anything about it when their kid makes a
nuisance of themselves. The number one thing if people think is disrespectful abandoning stuff
in a store in the wrong place or shelf oh, I want to help
admit something. Oh you do two? Wait wait wait, I have never
left a bunch of stuff. But if I'm like, oh I don't want
this anymore, I'm not gonna take it all the way back to I found.
Usually I do do, I do too. But there is one store
where I am an absolute heathen. I'm a monster. I'm an absolute monster,
and that place is ross. For some reason, I will ditch like
shoes that I decide I don't really want these shoes in like the kitchen where
that's me boy. Or I'll hang up clothes I don't want where the dog
food is Like I do this. I'm like, why am I doing this?
But it's only a ross that I do. I won't excuse me.
I know you're you're a monster in other places to get paid, you get
paid to like you. Do you forget that I because of people like me?
Do you forget that I've been shopping with you? I know we went
to outlets one time in air which they can't I I was trailing after her
like a child, like she would try on stuff in the aisle. Well,
I do that all the time. That is disrespectful to me. If
I was shopping there if if I'm wearing leggings, I can try stuff on
over my leggings. You don't see anything, wouldn't well, I know,
but guess what about seeing? It's just about like I know, I understand,
but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do because you don't time.
You also are not careful when you are undressing or dressing. Somebody could
see lip. Yeah, there are numerous times you have more or boob.
Yeah, I don't care. If I saw a lip, I'd leave you
at the allies. My god, I can't I can't even wait. I
have to claw my eyes out or something. I know he would be horrified,
you would. He would be like more to he would pass out.
I turned into a puddle, a pile of salt. Just yeah, I
would just turn into like a pillar of salts. So I just don't want
to apologize to the people at ROSS because I do frequent work Ross. I
do love it because it's like a treasure hunt and there's some really cool things
you can find in them. But you won't be going to any more,
sad to say, because of my addictions. Yes, and you're new to
change my waists and your new money the double card. She's sorry. They
don't have slot machines at Ross, not yet, Oh jeez god, but
they do anyway. I apologize for being that person at Ross because I know
you people work there are like tired of us. Anyway, Okay, so
let me get out where I put the bulls. Oh god, this is
a game called bean Boozled, and now it's been around for like ten years.
I know. But I was at Ross and like, we're, oh,
wait, you got these from Ross? Yes, for years. Not
necessarily, you didn't these, you didn't start. Here's some napkins if you
in case you want to spit it out in a napkins throw. No,
you're not gonna throw. I'm gonna puke on you. I'm gonna do all
over you, and then I will just gently dab the corners of my mouth.
I'm gonna barf. I saw this when I was waiting in one of
the very long lines, and I'm like, this could be fun on the
podcast between Eric and Brian, you too, I can facilitate. No,
I'll facilitate. You and Brian do it. No, you guys are the
taste. Let facilitate and Laura does it. So yeah, yeah, twice
as many beans are to try. Okay, so this one you pressed down.
Now here's what you're either gonna get. Okay, there there's two of
each. There's like the black one you either get cappuccino or you get liver
and onions. Oh god, I'm gonna pew. The white speckled one you
either get buttered popcorn or rotten egg. I don't want that one. The
peach colored one is peach or barf. Oh if I get that one,
I will barfin. The green one is juicy pear or booger. Oh god,
this is disgusting that the veriest speckled one is tooty fruity or stinky socks.
Oh god, pomegranate or old bandage. Old what bandage? What would
those even taste? I wouldn't even know what that tastes like. I wouldn't
I wouldn't be able to be like, oh yep, that's old bandage.
I know not good. I know that taste berry blue or toothpaste. That
probably is like the least defensive one, the toothpaste one, toasted marshmallow or
stink bug, Oh god, birthday cake or dirty dish water. And then
finally strawberry, banana smoothie or dead fish? Oh my god, how many
of these are we doing? This is gonna be so disgusting, Laura.
I'm just gonna say, right now, right now, I hate you.
Now. Here's how you play the game, though, No matter which one
you get, I mean, when you get it, we will obviously know
if you get the good one or the bad one. If you have to
eat the whole thing without spitting it out, the first person who spits it
out loses. Okay, I'm losing. I'm fine losing. Play the game.
You play the game. Do you know how bad that's gonna smell coming
out? Now? Brian, you go first, No, just you pick
one? Which one do you think is going to be? Okay? So
he picked the blue one, which is actually not bad because that one is
either blueberry or toothpaste? What did you get? I think he got toothpaste.
I don't know. It's not blueberry. I think it's toothpaste. But
then again, some toothpaste tastes like blueberries, so I don't know. So
it's fine. So okay, not a bad start. I forgot to tell
you I'm not allowed to have sugar anymore. No, these are sugar free.
I checked it, all right, let's see. Now you pick one
and I'll tell you which one you either get picked the mold colored one.
Oh god, okay, he's picking. Okay, wait, don't bring it
to you. Either are going to be eating. I think this is either
buttered popcorn or rotten egg. Don't smell at first eat it. What did
it taste like? Obviously it's not that bad thing. What was it?
I don't know. Cappuccino? Okay, okay, okay, Now let's see
pick one of these. Okay, green. He's either gonna have juicy pear
or booger. Do you remember what biggers tastes like. I have never eaten
a booger when you were a little. I ate a pill bug when I
was little. What do you think? I don't know if this is a
good or bad flavor. It kind of tastes like pear, but it's a
little salty. I don't know if that's supposed to be bigger e o booger
is supposed to be salty? Okay, I would be like, oh,
that's good, but it's not. Okay. This one may be the butter
popcorner, rotten egg, and don't smell it first. Just pop it in
your mouth. Pop it in your mouth. You don't smell they might.
No, you have to eat it all. You have to eat it all.
Oh god, oh god, did you eat rotten egg? I think
you got rotten egg? Oh god, Okay, you got it. You
got it. You got it, you got it, you got it,
you got it, you got it, you got it, you got it,
you got it. I don't know what it is. It looks like
he's about to go. I know. The tastes like nothing. Hey,
let's what I don't know. Was it bad? I think it was sweat
socks or something. Oh god, was it like really bad or was it
just like no, it was just annoying. Yeah, like this game.
No, we're gonna do a couple more round. Laura could like see this
and be like, you know what, I think at the end, she'll
have to eat one. Yeah, we'll pick one for her, all right.
He's going for the red one. Now, this one is going to
be either palm, pomegranate, or old bandage. Old. Yeah, that's
that's probably. That would be like a blood clot. This tastes like a
coffee. It tastes like neither of the things that last one horrible after taste
coffee. I think this might be one of the insane one. Don't smell
it first, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
you guys are both still in the game. Okay, okay. So the
last one you had was rotten egg. Then it didn't taste like rotten egg.
Well, then I don't know what. I hate eggs. So,
oh my god, I smell something. I don't think they smell well,
I smelled something there we Okay, this one is one that's brown and speckled
and that poop. No, I think it's either tooty fruity or stinky socks.
Wow, what is it? Gross? It's definitely not a good flavor.
But I don't know how to describe it. It's just like you got
stinky socks. Then I guess, I guess, yeah, okay, that's
yours. I didn't think stinky socks tasted like that. Yeah, it's up.
Oh wait, no, you have to eat it. You have to
eat it. What is it? What is it? What do you think
it is? Wait, it's a what is it? I don't know,
I don't I think it's rotten egg or dirty dish. One. It was
like, peat, oh barf, this is the game. I don't care.
Let me see these. I don't care. I'm going to pick one
that you have to. I don't want to play. How do I I
just want to pick one. There we go. Oh my god, Oh
my god, that is gross. You can't pick the one that you want.
I'm oh, that was absolutely disgusting. Oh the one that's the worst.
Do you have a piece of chocolate or something. Oh my god,
that is water, absolutely disgusting. Look in the kitchen for something real quick.
Oh my god, Oh my god, here is yours. I don't
know what it is. Try it? What? What could it be?
I don't know that gross? You find out this wasn't the plan. Yeah,
I'm I'm gonna eat some of these for fun. Oh my god.
Okay, it was a good one. I think they all taste stale.
Try it well, that one. Obviously you would have had a problem with
two. I'm thinking, no, Eric, I'm scared. I'm scared.
I'm scared. Just just a jelly beam. They're not that bad. Oh,
give her one until she gets a bad one. Yeah, no,
oh god, I gotta go one. This is like fruity, no no,
no, one more. What could this be? None? None of
the good one says that good? They all just that last one was disgusting.
I think this one might be the same, the same color. I
don't know, I can't remember. What could it be? Maybe dead fish?
Oh no, too bad, suck it down. Oh my god,
Okay, just do it. M hm oh my god, so cross,
Yes, you're doing another one? What more? Get? Get another one?
This is not the game. Too bad. You have to deal.
Yeah, you have to deal between you two. Too bad? Sorry,
that game ended that. We're the last one. We're doing. We're going
to get the bad one. We are. Yep, this is not the
way things are. I'm siding with Brian. I think that this could be
dirty dishwasher or birthday cake. And if it's birthday cake, guess what what
you get? Another one? My god? Oh I got dirty dishwasher?
You what's it the same? Wait? No, okay, dish washers one?
Two, three? Oh? Okay, okay, okay, okay,
it's this is not dirty dishwater. I want to see what it looks.
I think this is dead fish. God amazing, or no, this is
rotten egg. That's a brutal merry Christmas. What did you go get in
there? Did you eat something or did you find something? Damn it?
Can you like talk amongst each other? Oh my god? Yeah, someone
ordered door dash or something. God? Absolutely, Oh Laura, I want
you to experience what barf tastes like. No, that's not no. I
played my part of the game. It's done, done, done by being
boozled. We've been there, done that. Okay, Now we're bringing out
the question game. How you love how I'm wearing white? It sucks with
my black outfit? Oh my God made that? Oh God? So I
have cards in here too, because some cool question cards. So you can
either pick she a little piece of paper or one of these cards that are
right. Well, I don't know what I'm trying to say, pick pick
one or the other. We're playing the question game, the Bowl of Questions.
Okay, what would detectives assume about you if they inspected your room without
ever meeting you? I have a lot of posters up on my wall,
so paratly that I like movies and I like Indiana Jones. What other posters
do you have in your room? So I have currently I have five posters
up Okay, and that's actually on the low end compared to what I used
to. I have a James Bond poster. I have a Piets Caribbean poster.
I have a Jaws poster, and then I have two Indiana Jones posters.
You liked Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh that was like one year.
No, I like the poster. Oh okay, you like that is the
first part. Scabby movie is a really great movie. I just really like
the poster. Okay, it's a yeah, that is just awful. Yes,
door Dash sounds so good right now? Okay, yes, okay,
Oh he's going for the slip of paper in the bowl of questions. If
you won ten million and had to spend it in five days, what would
you buy a million diamonds? Cashman? Later? What doesn't say how I
have to spend it? No, just whatever comes to the top of your
head. And I had to spend it all in five days, I'd buy
a house. Okay, I can't buy a house in five days. Yeah,
thirty day escrow the minimum? Right, but says I have to spend
it in five days. Yeah, but I promise it to Yeah, I
could buy it outright. Yeah, you still like thirty day as grows and
you've got well, I know, let's get into that contingency period, and
then I would I would give you some you how much of it? How
much of it? Would you give me five dollars? Same thing like that?
And then what else is on a vacation? How much? Would you
give me a million? Yes, I'd give you a million too. You
give me the same amount as he gets? Why shouldn't Why should you get
more than me who's known him for seventeen almost eighteen years, who's in their
year of the raging bac. But okay, I'll give you one point five.
No, I get at least five. He gets one. I get
five. No, I forgot. I'm sorry. I thought I thought I
was wow for a minute. Now I was so grateful for I'm not great
half as money. I would like two and a half. Ask for nothing,
because that's what it's gone down to, five hundred thousands, and that
is my year of that. I come into money, right right? Okay,
If you could be born in another era in history, which would you
choose? Oh? God, them, I think I would love to live
in the Roaring twenty. I knew it, Congress, I knew you were
going to say, oh, wait, the flapper dresses and they like had
their like little hats and their little fancyphilis or something. I would totally dive
syphilis. Syphilis is back then, influenza too, and oh I'd have polio,
but I'd be dancing away before all that stuff. The wrong person's husband,
you know, you get shot. You know what about you, guys,
I'm interested to know what about? What era would you go to or
would you like to live in the seventies? Yeah, that would be my
second choice. I would do fifties. I'd go to work every day in
a suit in the fedora, and I would change smoke like a bastard.
Would you expect to come home to your wife bringing you a drinkie at the
door in her house dress, and then and then taking your shoes your slippers.
I don't love the whole like servitude kind of feel of it. I'm
like, more of the partnership is fun. So maybe i'd change that part
that you know, ye of it. But no, you know what I'd
like to do. I'd like to be in the cave man and then Laura
would be my wife and she'd be like out, you know, like washing
our animal skins. On a rock and I'd just bend her over and then
do me from behind real quick. That's your guys problem. Nothing is cooler
then, like the nineteen fifties Guy Fedora's suit holding like his glass a Scotch
and his cigarette the same time, and he's just sipping and that is a
that's a movie instead. Did you like did you watch mad Men? No?
I didn't. It was it was so good. Why not? I
don't know. I think you should give it a shot. It is great
if you love that. I've been watching True Detective right now. Oh,
the Jy Foster. It's not out yet. Well, it is out,
it's not on HBO Max yet. I had never watched it. So I
just finished McConaughey. The first season. Yeah, that was really good.
The second one not so much. I love Colin Farrell, but it was,
yeah, the second. So there's a third one coming, Yes,
it just came out with Jody Foster. Where's the where's the third one?
Where can I find it? HBO? Max? Oh? Yes, yes,
I can't wait for the one with Jodi Foster to come out. I
think it just yeah last night something. Oh you know what else I would
do is if you were like, not tonight, I just club you over
the head with my club and drag you into the cave. So in the
caves you're straight now yeah, totally Back then, oh, he'd probably well
never mind, what do me in the butt? Totally. It wouldn't even
be your birthday. Yes, in the cave days, you're wearing your birthday
suit all the time. Totally. I know you just I have like a
skin, like one of those old skins. Yeah, no, I just
turn it around. I'd have a giant bush. Oh totally. Oh my
god, it would take me like an hour to find anything. He's got
to conquer the jungle before you can. God, okay, oh my god,
so gross. Ah, I'm still tasting that terrible, terrible, terrible
thing. Oh god, don't try and kiss me. Imagine your daily routine
it had been turned into a reality show, which parts would be the most
talked about? Literally, none of it. I wake up at eight thirty.
I start work at nine o'clock, which is about six feet from my
bed, and I worked till five ish. Do we have breaks? And
I mean do what do we do during break time? Do we have an
our lunch? What? I never take our lunch you just works straight through.
Sometimes I'll stop and I'll get something to eat, but then I'll keep
working or something. I mean, I take occasional breaks, but it's not
like alarm clocks went off, you know. Do you do anything interesting during
a break? Yeah? I take my union mandated smoke breaks back. Okay,
at least four of those for every two hours. ISH do a bump
in the bathroom while my boss isn't looking. Then there, then there's the
there's the tasteful nudes that you do, and then the extended shower scene.
Yeah, on my on my bathroom breaks, I take tasteful nudes in the
back. Yeah, Oh my god. No, I really don't do anything
interesting day to day. You can watch me edit videos for eight hours.
Oh. What's a character trait that you hope you'll never pass down to your
kids? Easy? All of them? Oh, you have good character traits?
Why is it currently stands Eric won't be passing any genetic material? Can
you imagine? Can you imagine another one of me running around? Oh,
there'd be another redhead? My god, are you kidding? That'd be hilarious.
Oh what if you are married for five years and you love the person
so much? But you just found out that the person you're married to is
your sibling. Oh cross, would you stay with them or would you separate?
Separate? Think? Let me think, let me think, let me
think. Well, yeah, okay, let's let's pretend like it's this point
in my life where I cannot have children. Okay, so the children are
off the table. But I'm totally in love with this guy. We're totally
vibing. I feel like he's my soulmate. And then I find out he's
my biological brothers, half sibling or whole siblings, it matters. I think
even half would be still creepy. I feel like I feel like half you
could. I almost say you can't. Not you can get away with but
half. So you you're already in love and you've been together for five years,
so obviously you've taken the d Of course, on birthday's probably in the
butt, yes, probably Does everyone do their birthday? Does I do?
Not? I've done it like twice in my life. It's just days.
And then why jeez, Louise, A long time ago, A long time
ago. Oh my god, you and Eric in the same boat. Oh
my god. Okay, wait, what's your answer? Wait? What would
you stay with your Oh, I have to. What do you think about
cousins getting being getting married? My choice? Like, what if you just
fell in love with your cousin? No, no, that's up, it's
illegal. I know anyway, I know I would have to, it would
have it would eventually turn sour. I don't knowing that, yes, it
would, because it'd be it would be in your mind. It'd be creepy.
You wouldn't be able to have sex the right way anymore. Let's say
you've been together like fifteen years though, okay, but also I'm assuming your
parents must be out of the picture, because yeah, obviously, let's say
you have nothing actually tying to you together, like as like siblings, no,
actually like family core except for the fact that you just know biologically your
siblings. You can't have kids, like you have to know you can't have
kids. Okay, but I don't know. I just I think it would
trip me out too much. I'd be so hard to walk away from,
like a fee I know. Oh god, But then every time you look
at it, you'd be like, I just took my brother's d Like that'd
be so gross. He has my same blood. Unless you were shooting like
some weird porn. Oh yeah, there's a plenty of that out there.
Yeah. What what is your question? If time travel were possible, what
one event would you like to go back and change or witness? Oh that's
heavy. Oh my god. Do you'll say what came to your head?
No? I can't. There's so many jokes I could say right now,
that'd be so bad. Here, no time travel. I feel like it
would be something I feel like such a cop out. I would go back
ten seconds, uh, ten minutes before the creation of the universe. Oh,
that's a good one. So I see what's there? You know what
happened before the Big Bang? Was there a big bang? Are we still
settled on that? I don't know. The big bang would be Laura doing
it with her brother. It's actually a massive orgy. Yeah, you are
way back. It's a question I think about a lot. What precedes existence?
Or I mean, isn't it just like thinking about the universe and how
just you know? It's infinity? Is it infinity? Does it end?
Where? Does it end? No, it doesn't end. It's just it's
my mind. I can't wrap my mind. The deserveable universe ends. But
that's also that's a different thing. But like I mean, if you're looking
at from a secular point of view, we have these these rules of nature
and the idea of them springing in the existence or matter springing into you know,
existence violates all of those, but everything else follows them, So something
doesn't add up. So to to believe in a in a singular creation are
event like that, you have to first accept that those rules don't actually matter,
at least in that moment. Also, who organize these rules of nature
without a god? Exactly? How does quantum physics work without some sort of
structure that just made itself? I don't know. It's so weird. So
you believe in God? Yes, I mean I would say I would say
yes. Just from a more general point, I would say power higher than
yourself. I would say, more concretely, there is evidence of some sort
of intelligent design. Hm ooh, I love that. It's a buzzword.
Okay, and then this is it folks, better not pick the death card.
Like I can't believe you picked the death card. If everyone had to
decide on their career path at age six, what would your life look like?
Now? What did you want to be when you were six years old,
I wanted to be a veterinarian. Really, I think I had that
fleeting thought when I was young. I know, and you did try it
for a little while, but then he couldn't do it because he could not
fathom putting a dog down. That's really hard. Yeah, I've seen that.
It's too much. Okay, here we go. Last question. If
you could learn anyone's skill in the world without trying, like matrix learning style,
which would you pick. I know, okay, this is a first
thing that comes to my mind, and I know this is gonna be like
this is so dumb, but I think it would be so cool to be
able to play the violin that cool and oh my god, you know those
sexy women that play the violin like like kind of like rock violin varius.
You're just like just like really like no classical music, just like the most
beautiful violin sounds. If I could just like pick it up and start playing
it, I would love that. So this is this is what Laura would
look like. She'd ever strata varius and would plug in so she could like
totally rock out to it. She'd have like crimped hair, a leather BOOSTI
as leopard print mini skirt with like ug boots, and she'd be like flipping
her hair off. I'd be wearing high heeled boots. Hello, like high
boots. I have a violin, you can have it? Well, did
you play it? Have you? Did you take lessons? Yeah? For
a long time? Actually, do you? Can you play it? I?
Is it something you can pick up again? Like everyone? Next week,
Laura's going to play the violin. Ryan's going to play the violin.
Well, so I played piano and I play violin. I can still play
the piano really well. A lot of my songs I remember a little bit
gone. Violin is a lot harder to pick back up again, though you
can remember a lot of stuff. But the technique is really violent. Technique
is incredibly well. You bring it next week so she could play it live.
Maybe it's an expensive violin. I won't try to get out. I'm
trying to sell it. Actually, if anyone wants to buy a violin,
let me like brand is it? Well, there's no, there's not a
lot of brands. There's makers. Mine is by Messner and Sons. They
were a brand out of Oh yeah, a little up North in nineteen fifties,
I think it's been refinished by a couple other violin tuners, though it
did a really good job. It's doing nice violin. Oh, if he's
trying to us, I'll let you'll make the string smoke, and probably because
I'll be like, just leave it here. I'm gonna go to dollar Tree
and get you with those little plastic ones to blame like a little baby,
like, let's do one more round. Okay, mm hmm. Which day,
uh? Which day in your life do you wish you could erase from
history? No? Okay, all right, I genuinely have none that with
the race. When you were a child, how did you imagine adulthood?
And how does that compare to reality? Actually, give me no one,
because my answer to that is I genuinely did not imagine adulthood except being married.
That's the only thing. Uh. That one? Why is it like
a masturbation one or something? Which is one frame you could you wish you
could ban from everyone's vocabulary. I know there's one that I say all the
time that I should ban. I know, right, Oh my god,
I was just thinking that so many people say that. I know, right,
I don't write that one because it's a good it is a good relational
like quip. Like it is quip, it's good for establishing rapport with people.
I hate useless annoying words used frequently by the basic or at the end
of the day, or there's some like work ones that are annoying. I
don't mind the phrases. Phrases are good for establishing complex meaning quickly. But
maybe the word like over using light. But I also do that, so
took Muslims? Am I right? What did you say? No? What
was the word? I want to hear that? What is that? What
does it mean? Mister dictionary? Okay, go, oh this is easy.
What if a zombie plague were to start right now, where would you
hold up? Remember the plague just started, So you have to be able
to actually get to your hideout where I know every nook and cranny of like
the building I live in, and stuff I know little secret places. Oh,
I thought you were going to see you be holed up in that grocery
outlet bargain market. Well, once you want to hold up where there's food
and stuff. I have plenty of that home. Oh yeah you do,
I have no food here. They got they got months of like oh they
bragged like dry food. Oh yeah, that food. That camp being food.
But they don't sell guns there because otherwise they'd be perfect. But they
probably sell crossbows. No, no, no kind of weaponry at all.
Oh shit, you know what. Yeah, I'd have to hold up somewhere
where I could defend myself. Yeah, because I have a swiffer and a
broom. You could cure all disease in the world forever. But to do
so, you would have to murder one innocent person. Would you do it?
She totally kill me? No, of course I wouldn't kill you.
I would totally do it. That's a good deal, damn it an innocent
person. Well, disease kills hundreds of it. I know, I know,
I know, But wow, God, I guess I just shoot somebody
then on the street. Wait, is it okay? Yeah? Is this
that you have to murder them? I have to murder them. I have
to murder them. No, I have to murder someone. I'll still do
it. How would you murder someone? Is it something you have to get
away with or will be the people like you did that? Yes? Oh,
I just well, I don't know. If they say, thank God,
only you would know, Only you would know Brian would kill Brian would
kill you or me, probably you because he likes me better, I know.
But what seriously, would you just pick a random person? Would you
go like go you know, no, you don't sound really bad. This
is what I probably do is I probably go to a retirement home and find
someone with like really late stage dementia. If we're taking seriously. That's if
we're taking it seriously. It sounds worse, but realistically it's probably the least
amount of harm I could do to save, like, you know, billions
of people over time. Okay, one of us gets one more question.
That's going to be good. Eenie meanie mine emo, catch a tiger by
the toe if he hollers at him, go e me miney mo my one
and told me to pick them very and it's you a Brian Wow, future
of something. This is the one that Eric just got. Take it back
at the ball. You're not supposed to take it back in the bowl.
Sorry I did. Do you still watch cartoons? No? Pick another?
That was an amazing one family guy. Oh that's a cartoon. Well then
I'll pick one. Ojack Horseman's a good cartoon. Would you accept thirty thousand
dollars a week job offer where you get paid to sit in a pitch black
room and do nothing for eight for sure, dude, I don't know.
I would. I would think you could do that eight hours in a bloom
I can sleep anywhere, Yes, it would. I forgot about sleeping.
Yes, I do it, Oh totally. I bring stuff with me.
I don't know. I don't it's pitch black, but yeah, I guess
so. Oh god, no flashlight. No, you can't bring a flashlight.
I didn't say that. It doesn't, but I may. I would
bring my vision goggles. Okay, you get the last one, hopefully good
and you didn't put it back in the bowl. Probably Okay. If you
didn't have to leap every night, what would you do with all that extra
time? M I would work out, I would watch movies. I would
watch uh TikTok cooking shows. I would volunteer them a lot where volunteer,
like a at like a soup kitchen or something midnight soup kitchen, midnight super
kitchen, or maybe like a crisis hotline. Oh like overnight, like you
know, being so wholesome, say what you would actually do? She's like,
I'd be out on alcohol Boulevard. I'd be I'd freaking sequan all not.
No, that's right, I would just be watching movies probably. Yeah.
Yeah. Speaking of movies, I watched a really good one. What
well, Killers of the Flower Moon is on Apple right now. By way,
I haven't gotten that. I've been thinking about getting up. Oh,
it's really good. I watched Good Grief and it was produced by Dan Levy,
who I love, I love. I thought it was great. I
got through part of it and I was like me, but what I watched
with my mom and Auntie Doo Doo we Auntie Doodo didn't watch it because she
started watching it and she was like, hell, no, I don't like
this. She's very opinionated. But I made my mom watch Saltburn. Oh.
I watched that. My god, it is like, oh, there's
a boat on the dance floor. Big. He's got a big old Actually
I don't know if it's that big. Well, it's it was crazy.
It was flopping around the last four minutes the movie great. So what did
your mom have to say about the young lady h with the guy going down
on her when she was having her How about the grave? No, I
go, mom, this part is a little Oh my god, he's looking
up that boy's bath water. Oh the you made your mother watch that?
Poor married there's a special I got the Devil cards. That's all. I
watched another really good if you guys haven't heard of it, it's called two
B t U b I. It's a free movie app There's a movie that
I've been wanting to watch. It came out like a year ago or two.
It's called Killing Ground and it's an Australian film about a couple that goes
on a camping trip and it turns into a nightmare. And it was good.
Is it as scary? Is it like I love stuf? Let me
tell you When I go camping, camp for the bathroom, that is a
nightmare. I camping is a nightmare for me. MS not that fun.
It's not fun. We were not a camping family, but camping is.
I do not camp that I believe. Yeah that camp as a family.
No. I only went camping once with my dad in Lagoon. It was
fun. I really like the outdoorsy part of it. I don't love the
sleeping intents. I don't know. I will not wipe my butt with a
leaf from a tree. No thing no, no, I do like those
as being like waking up and immediately just being outside for the rest of the
day, Like that's kind of fun. But that's what hotels are for.
You wake up, you walk outside at with your Starbucks and then you're in
the campfire at night. Is kind of fun. Fun, and it's fun
to cook breakfast outside and it is having room service. Oh my god,
all day long, baby, all day long. Lame okay, samping.
So next week we have another guest and her name is Luciinda Kay and she
is a reporter at Cogo AM six hundred. But she does this segment called
something Good and she focuses on only good stories that are happening in San Diego.
And she is awesome. You're gonna love her. She's the best personality.
And so she's gonna be on on our Monday Night next Monday Night Live.
And you're really gonna want to know this woman because she she's really going
to light up your life for real? And is she going to light up
your life like you light up? Oh my god. My mom and I
and my daughter were playing DJ in the car and what did my mom pick
for a song? You light up my life? Mom? Really really,
mom, really, but like it's a good song. I have to tell
you guys. I was running, Oh, I was going to get my
hair cut, and my phone rang and it was Laura and I answered the
phone and I hear, do you know who this is? I know?
And I was like, I certainly do. It was my anti dude is
a big time smoker and she has the best smoker's last she does. She
has the best Carrie Fisher. Oh, it was awesome. And I said,
i'd know that sultry voice anybody I know, and that she's like,
and then your cute mom, why doesn't you come visit? Come on,
Eric, you well come visit Eric. Here's here's the with Eric. Everybody
freaking loves Eric. You and my auntie do do my auntie because I couldn't
say Judy when I was little. So that's why she's Antie Doodoo smoker Judy.
That's me. So she's known me my whole life. She's my mom's
best friend. Who's Facebook? Does she comment on this one over here?
Never does she comment on my stuff? Always on Eric's stuff. I'm like,
even Auntie Dood who likes Eric more than he likes me. That's not
fair. I know that. I know that your mom is going to adopt
me. I know she wants to be already talked about that. Oh my
god, and then Eric can adopt me and we could circumvent Laura like it
still wait, and then what happens to me. I'll take care of you,
don't worry you find ant Like I've always told you, I will always
take care of you. It becomes inconvenient. Oh true. Yeah, I'm
going to be really inconvenient when I'm old. She's going to be are and
a besy and I'm gonna I'm gonna be happy because I'm be kind of clueless,
but I'm going to be incontinent probably, Oh yeah, we've already talked
about. We did talk. I'll probably be before you are. Already are
I'm not but but I probably will be before you are Eric, but maybe
not. I don't know. Well, you never know. It's going to
be changing whose diapers from I poo paid time to day, so that's right,
it's not going to change. Well, that's gonna suck for me,
oh my god, because I may just forget and just go We're sleeping in
the same bed and everything. People will come over and there will be just
like newspapers all over the floor. They'll be Laura will be like, puppy,
What makes you think we have a puppy? You grandparents? And I'm
just gonna like walk like that is the exact thing I'm picturing. And we'll
have a giant TV and all the streaming services and we'll have like we'll order
door Dash every single little TV every meal. We'll have a little TV trail.
I can't wait to get old with you. I know, that was
so fun. It's going to be so much fun. Oh lastly, Happy
Iowa Caucus Day. This is the official beginning of the twenty twenty four election
for the president. Oh god, well it was Monday, today's Thursday.
Technically. I just wanted to tell you. I guess you won the Iowa
caucos Who Trump? Oh no, yeah, well yeah, I mean he
was against it. It was just the Republican caucus, right, it's just
for the primaries. But was it DeSantis? Him and the and the woman?
It was Trump, DeSantis, Nikki Haley and someone one other guy Brighton.
I don't know. Can I still do the podcast with you guys from
Canada? Of course, of course you can't. This is gonna be a
tough election because also Biden's approval numbers are at like an insanely low point.
So Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift, I'm calling on Taylor Swift. Can you
just tell people to go on the person? I know, I really hate
when celebrities start like they're like when they tell people how to it's so weird,
Like no, but she's like Oprah, she she has in power.
Just tell somebody something to vote for. There's no good candidate. I know,
I know what choice. She was almost dead. If she told everybody
to like eat their pood, they'd be all, it's delicious, like oh
yeah, because like Trump was like kind of living under a guy who you're
like, he's kind of like the biggest jerk ever. On the one hand,
I have more money than I did before, Right, that's what a
lot of Yeah, but now you get like a nice grandpa. But everything
is falling apart. If everybody wants a nice grandpa, maybe I should I
know, why didn't you put your yeah two now sometime too late? Yeah,
we've never had a gay present. Actually that'd be cool cool, Oh
yeah, maybe a woman first, then a game. You'd be the first
lady. Oh, okay, I know, I would know. Yeah,
I want to be Okay, you know what if I won, you'd be
the first lady. No, unless you guys got married. Yeah, we
have to get married. Mary. I'd marry you for convenience. We all
know that. Beha the first a woman. Well, you'd be my beard.
I will be the first okay, the first gay president here with my
wife, and you'd be you'd be the first son. Is there, you'd
be the first son secretary. I'll just look at our family portray a door.
Oh my god. They it wouldn't even be a picture. The paint.
No one would. They would paint us. We'd have to sit there
for hours. You could wear some tight leopard dress and just show off your
tat on. That's right. Oh yeah, we would single handedly ruined America
more than have you met me? No? Eric, Eric would straight would
straightenservative? Yeah, that's true. Me. I would mess the whole thing
up. She would be gambling casino like the National Dead. She's like,
I just bought ten tigers from China. We've got more. It's how do
you work? Oh you're you're gonna eat another one? No, I'm not
I'll eat one more before we anyway, I know, happy Iowa coccas day.
The primaries have started. Just remember, politics always sucks, but it's
never as bad as everyone says it is. So even if Trump gets gets
elect again, who cares? If Biden gets re elected, who cares?
Oh? You copped out, you cop out. That's a cop out.
That's a cop out. You're gonna do a double, Lord, do a
double. No, I'm not doing a double. But one of them is
bad, one of them goodpaste. How bad is the bad? This is
toothpaste? I know. See that's when you knew it because the blue.
All right, I'll pick this one. This one is either oh no,
not dead fish again. Just do it, bro, Just do it,
bro, Come on, I know, come on lady bro all right,
fam chill. You guys are so dramatic. It's not that bad. Jesus,
he's a bar fit. It's just like omega fish oils. Come on,
help help. Okay. Oh that was terrible. That was terrible.
I need to eat something really fast, so we gotta go shut up.
Okay. Thank you for so much for listening and watching. You guys,
We really appreciate it. We love you. Thank you Capital Girl Think,
Thank you Laoia Cosmetics. Thank you Cosmetics for getting rid of her her Rose
of Corn. And we look forward to you seeing you guys next week,
brand new officers. I can barely even speak. I'm they give you another
one. No, you're not. Love your podcast, love your podcast.
No, end it? Please please, Eric. I need I need to
get this out of my mouth. I have one more of those jelly beans.
Yeah. No, we're done, it's over. I need food.
I need to get this out of my mouth. Please end it. That's
what she said, So you put back in your mouth. I will put
anything in my mouth right now. Don't say anything, all right, Eric?
Your podcast? Oh god? Okay, I love you, my sweet
babies. Bye bye. Oh my god