WEBVTT 1 00:00:19.320 --> 00:00:22.839 Well, what's up, positive bitches? How are we doing today? If 2 00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:27.839 you're hearing this episode, you're meant to be here, so keep listening on 3 00:00:28.079 --> 00:00:33.119 that bitch is positive if you're new here. Sometimes we will laugh, other 4 00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:38.840 times we will cry, but we will always walk away feeling our most empowered 5 00:00:39.359 --> 00:00:47.200 positive bitch self. That is positive babe and total connection with herself. We 6 00:00:47.240 --> 00:00:52.880 are all about removing all the outside noise, the internal noise, and gating 7 00:00:52.920 --> 00:00:58.840 connection with our true essence so we can live our best, most magnetic life 8 00:00:59.159 --> 00:01:04.280 because we do don't get mad around here, We just get everything. In 9 00:01:04.359 --> 00:01:11.840 today's episode, we are talking about friendships, the quote unquote loss of friendship, 10 00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:17.519 but as positive bitches, we don't lose. We either win or we 11 00:01:17.799 --> 00:01:22.680 learn. So we're gonna understand what the quote unquote loss of a friendship actually 12 00:01:22.760 --> 00:01:26.840 means and what we gain from it, as well as the pain we can 13 00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:33.560 experience from these moments. Why are we talking about this? Well, thanks 14 00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:38.159 to you, beautiful positive bitches who tune in every single week. Last week 15 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:42.400 I was invited to be a panelist at the podcast Movement held in Vegas. 16 00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:49.439 I shared the stage with some beautiful, welcoming amazing light beings that I am 17 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:55.840 now so blessed to call my friends. You never know how people are gonna 18 00:01:55.920 --> 00:02:00.400 be when you're meeting them and they're in your industry, whether they work behind 19 00:02:00.439 --> 00:02:05.000 the scenes or in front of the camera as an influencer. There are many 20 00:02:05.120 --> 00:02:12.039 different characters out there, so you always tread lightly because you just don't know. 21 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:15.960 I've met a lot of people living in New York my whole entire life. 22 00:02:15.960 --> 00:02:19.800 Going into New York City you meet a lot of characters as well as 23 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:23.280 going to private school. Again, I've met a lot of characters in my 24 00:02:23.439 --> 00:02:29.599 time. And the women I met at Podcast Movement, we're so amazing, 25 00:02:30.240 --> 00:02:36.080 so beautiful, and I am so grateful that I was even considered to be 26 00:02:36.159 --> 00:02:38.639 a panelist at the Podcast Movement. So I just want to take a second 27 00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:45.159 to say thank you to everyone who tunes in every single week and listens and 28 00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:49.280 talks with me and dms me on Instagram where we're talking about these concepts. 29 00:02:49.680 --> 00:02:54.680 Thank you so much. I truly appreciate you. You are such a big 30 00:02:54.719 --> 00:03:00.199 part of my journey and I know it's always me blabbin over here, but 31 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:05.759 I feel your energy each week and it's what motivates me. I see your 32 00:03:05.800 --> 00:03:09.919 reviews on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and I also read all of your gms. 33 00:03:10.159 --> 00:03:13.360 It might take me a little bit to get to them, but I 34 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:17.840 always get to all of them. So just thank you so much. The 35 00:03:17.919 --> 00:03:23.840 reason we're talking about friendships this week is because I just started a bunch of 36 00:03:23.919 --> 00:03:28.599 new, beautiful friendships with the women and the people I met at this podcast 37 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:31.840 movement. And while I was there, I was working out, because you 38 00:03:31.960 --> 00:03:36.960 know me, I literally would wake up, put a full face of makeup 39 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:39.599 on, go do my panel, then go back to my room, take 40 00:03:39.639 --> 00:03:44.360 all my makeup off, go do a workout, then go shower, then 41 00:03:44.360 --> 00:03:47.719 put all my makeup back on, go interact with people, because you never 42 00:03:47.719 --> 00:03:52.639 know, there's so many pictures happening in videos that I wanted to look my 43 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:58.159 best, okay, And I need my time alone at the gym as much 44 00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:00.719 as I need and want my time with people. So that was a self 45 00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:04.639 boundary I had. That's so important. But while I was working out, 46 00:04:04.800 --> 00:04:10.840 I had to download because one of my songs that I've written in the past, 47 00:04:10.919 --> 00:04:14.560 it's called b Day, And let me just plague you a second of 48 00:04:14.599 --> 00:04:20.240 the song because it's not gonna make sense unless you hear it. It's just 49 00:04:20.920 --> 00:04:30.680 a lovation of my noivitation. No, you ain't got an invitations. No 50 00:04:30.360 --> 00:04:42.319 my exploitation, take away the devastation. It's my graduation from you in a 51 00:04:42.399 --> 00:04:46.680 whole years. It's a last one proms myself one see you no more. 52 00:04:46.079 --> 00:05:15.120 Nothing felt better than showing you the night I didn't. So this song, 53 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:19.240 what it says is no more exploitation, take away the devastation. It's my 54 00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:24.759 graduation from you. It's been a whole year since our last war. Promised 55 00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:29.000 myself wouldn't see you no more. Nothing felt better than showing you the door. 56 00:05:29.560 --> 00:05:33.160 Instead of crying, I just stopped replying. I started redefining, and 57 00:05:33.240 --> 00:05:39.199 now I'm out here thriving. I lived my first year free. My anniversary 58 00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:43.279 candles out on one, two three, Happy birthday to me. The whole 59 00:05:43.319 --> 00:05:47.680 message behind the song is I lived one year free of talks with people, 60 00:05:47.800 --> 00:05:53.759 and so I was celebrating that people when they are sober for one year, 61 00:05:53.839 --> 00:05:58.439 they celebrate their sober birthday. And I was doing that because I wasn't addicted 62 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.439 to drugs, but I was addicted to people who weren't good for me, 63 00:06:00.879 --> 00:06:05.519 and I had to celebrate Okay, CC, you had one year free of 64 00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:13.000 these addictive I don't like saying the word toxic but unhealthy relationships in your life, 65 00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:16.399 So congratulate floculations and happy motherfucking birthday, okay. And that's what this 66 00:06:16.439 --> 00:06:21.160 song was about. And while I was working out, this song happened to 67 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:27.160 come on my phone and it started playing, and I was like, Oh, 68 00:06:27.199 --> 00:06:30.639 I forgot I even had this song, And what a fucking bop. 69 00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:35.759 You have to listen to it if you're going through literally anything with friendships or 70 00:06:35.800 --> 00:06:40.279 just wanting to find yourself again and wanting to hype yourself up to not go 71 00:06:40.360 --> 00:06:45.160 back to toxic or unhealthy relationships. It's such a good song to motivate you 72 00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:49.120 to stay in your own skin. But it came on and I was reflecting 73 00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:55.120 on where I was a couple of years ago, and you know, a 74 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:59.720 couple of years ago, I felt really lost and really alone. And we're 75 00:06:59.759 --> 00:07:02.560 going to get into it in this podcast, but I just want to say, 76 00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:06.519 before we even really get into it, if you're feeling like you've lost 77 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:11.360 all your friends, or you're feeling alone, or you're feeling isolated, it's 78 00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:15.319 not over, baby girl. It's not over. It's not over. It's 79 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:19.399 not over until you find your happiness, you find your people, you find 80 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:23.920 peace. That's when you know it's over, when you've gotten what you want. 81 00:07:24.639 --> 00:07:28.040 So if you're going through that season, don't think you're gonna be there 82 00:07:28.199 --> 00:07:31.079 forever. And we're going to talk about what it means and how to move 83 00:07:31.120 --> 00:07:34.519 through it. But before we get into it, I know that was a 84 00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:40.519 really long segue. If you're not yet following me on Instagram at vibin with 85 00:07:40.720 --> 00:07:46.759 ccv ibi n with ci CII, or at that Bitch is Positive, follow 86 00:07:46.800 --> 00:07:49.879 me there so you get to stay in touch with the positive Bitch community. 87 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:55.040 Of course, if you're looking for high vibrational music, you can look up 88 00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:59.560 CC or Angel Energy on any platform you listen to music and find me there. 89 00:08:00.079 --> 00:08:05.120 Again, be sure it's ci Ci. If you're looking to go through 90 00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:09.240 a glow up. If you're feeling really anxious or romanticizing your path with an 91 00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:13.360 X or X friends, join the twenty one day break Up Globe Challenge, 92 00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:16.800 where you can learn how to put yourself back on the pedestal, how to 93 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:20.920 tap into your divine feminine energy, how to make yourself more interesting so you 94 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:26.279 actually want to hang out with yourself. I was recently talking to a client 95 00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:31.399 and I was explaining to her the reason we want to jump ships so much 96 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:35.759 from our own life is literally because we're bored. So part of glowing up 97 00:08:35.919 --> 00:08:39.759 is adding in those activities so you have something to spend time on and you 98 00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:46.799 actually want to spend time with yourself. Ding dong. Hello, there we 99 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:50.559 go, Last, but not least, if you are wanting some more intimate 100 00:08:50.600 --> 00:08:54.000 guidance, I am a certified life coach and I do offer one on one 101 00:08:54.080 --> 00:08:58.519 sessions. All you have to do is DM me on Instagram and I can 102 00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:03.519 tell you more how I can help you there. Okay, without further ado, 103 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:09.360 let's get into today's episode. So, as I was saying, I 104 00:09:09.399 --> 00:09:13.480 was meeting amazing women that I was part of this panel with. And I 105 00:09:13.519 --> 00:09:20.720 specifically say women because when I was in college, I stopped being friends with 106 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:24.559 this group of girls and I definitely felt like a splinter in my side. 107 00:09:24.639 --> 00:09:30.600 It definitely made me a little bit more afraid to connect with other feminine energies 108 00:09:30.600 --> 00:09:35.360 because I never wanted to feel that pain again. With friendships, we don't 109 00:09:35.360 --> 00:09:37.840 think that they're ever going to end, but we know it. With relationships, 110 00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:43.759 on some level, we know, Okay, I'm either going to marry 111 00:09:43.799 --> 00:09:46.679 this person or I'm going to break up with them. We know that on 112 00:09:46.720 --> 00:09:52.080 some level when it comes to romantic relationships, But with friendships, we're not 113 00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:58.399 thinking about that. With friendships, we think b F F forever literally best 114 00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:03.600 friends forever b F. It's on our bracelets, it's on our fucking backpacks, 115 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:07.240 it's on our necklaces, it's everywhere. And that's so ingreened in us. 116 00:10:07.279 --> 00:10:13.279 And when that doesn't happen and we're not the FF's, ooh, it 117 00:10:13.320 --> 00:10:16.559 feels like a dagger to the heart. It can leave us feeling like we 118 00:10:16.600 --> 00:10:18.919 don't even know who we are. It can cause a loss of identity. 119 00:10:20.159 --> 00:10:26.759 It can really do some harm. But we know us positive bitches that people 120 00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:31.120 will flow in and people will flow out, and friendships, relationships, they're 121 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:35.240 not meant to be stagnant. I'm currently living in Florida right now, and 122 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:39.960 there's a lot of man made bodies of water, and these water are stagnant. 123 00:10:39.960 --> 00:10:45.440 These bodies are stagnant. It's not like the ocean or a river where 124 00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:50.879 the water gets too freely move. It's stagnant. Stagnant water smells like shit. 125 00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:54.559 I'm sorry to not say that in a proper way, but really I'm 126 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:56.720 not because I need you to feel what I'm putting down right here. Okay, 127 00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:05.960 it smells absolutely terrible. Stagnant relationships also start to stink up your life. 128 00:11:05.559 --> 00:11:11.759 I know so many of us are familiar with certain people my friendships. 129 00:11:11.799 --> 00:11:16.639 I knew most of them since kindergarten to college. These were my family. 130 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:20.480 They knew everything about me. They knew my family drama, they heard this 131 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:24.360 scream in the fighting. They knew me like they knew themselves, and it 132 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:28.440 was the same for me. I knew them like I knew myself. And 133 00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:31.480 when we stopped being friends, it was so sudden and so weird and so 134 00:11:31.559 --> 00:11:37.559 awkward that I remember hysterically crying to my mom and saying, I just feel 135 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:41.080 like I don't deserve this. Why me? Why would this be happening to 136 00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:43.720 me? What did I do that would cause us to happen? And the 137 00:11:43.799 --> 00:11:48.679 thing was, I didn't do anything. I will say though I definitely wasn't 138 00:11:48.679 --> 00:11:52.759 the best human being on planet Earth. I take responsibility for being a teenage 139 00:11:52.759 --> 00:11:58.639 girl, but there was nothing that I did to go after someone or there 140 00:11:58.679 --> 00:12:01.440 was no fight. There was no end argument, there was nothing that happened. 141 00:12:01.480 --> 00:12:05.799 We really just fell away from each other, and that hurt. That 142 00:12:05.960 --> 00:12:11.120 really hurt. At the time, I thought, oh my god, I 143 00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:16.720 lost my best friends, I lost my family, I lost my identity, 144 00:12:18.200 --> 00:12:24.639 I lost everything. And I felt that way for years to come. And 145 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:28.480 it wasn't until I finally really met a group a group at once, because 146 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:31.320 I've met people along my journey that I'm like, oh my god, I 147 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:35.960 love you, You're my soul sister. But when I met this group of 148 00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:39.000 panelists and we started hanging out and getting to know each other, it really 149 00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:45.120 clicked in my head that I didn't lose my best friends, I didn't lose 150 00:12:45.440 --> 00:12:54.159 family. What I actually really lost was trauma, Bond's unhealthy patterns in her 151 00:12:54.240 --> 00:13:03.759 child wound connections, preenemies, codependent relationship and ships evil ires. Mmmmmmmmm. 152 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:07.679 I didn't lose true friendship, because that's the interesting thing about friendships. You 153 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:11.759 don't lose them when they're true blue. You don't. You might get into 154 00:13:11.799 --> 00:13:15.519 an argument, you might get into a fight. You don't lose them forever. 155 00:13:16.120 --> 00:13:20.279 And even when we quote unquote lose a friendship, we're really gaining back 156 00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:24.759 a part of ourselves that's waiting to be reclaimed. When I was friends with 157 00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:30.360 these girls, I shoved down not really because of them, there's it's not 158 00:13:30.399 --> 00:13:33.240 like they personally said, oh, CEC, you shouldn't do this. I 159 00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:37.320 shoved down my more creative side. I even shoved down that I didn't want 160 00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:39.159 to eat gluten because I didn't want to be judged for it. And I 161 00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:41.879 felt like when I would say, oh, I don't want to eat gluten, 162 00:13:41.879 --> 00:13:45.519 they would make fun of me. And when I did want to do 163 00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:48.039 something with music or singing, they never supported me. I think they just 164 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:52.799 thought I wasn't talented. Or there's only one of two options. Either they 165 00:13:52.960 --> 00:13:58.799 were jealous like hello and thought I was really talented, or they thought I 166 00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:01.240 was shipped and didn't want to share. But either way, they weren't honest 167 00:14:01.240 --> 00:14:07.399 about what they thought and they didn't support me literally like nine of the time. 168 00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:11.039 So in the moment, I was thinking, oh my god, I 169 00:14:11.120 --> 00:14:15.840 lost all these friendships. What am I gonna do? But now looking back, 170 00:14:15.919 --> 00:14:18.480 and you'll also have this come to Jesus moment of wait a second, 171 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.519 I didn't lose friendships. I lost people who were jealous of me. I 172 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:28.679 lost friend of mees. I lost low vibrational connections, I lost faulty programming, 173 00:14:30.320 --> 00:14:33.440 And really I didn't lose it. I released it so I can let 174 00:14:33.639 --> 00:14:41.240 higher vibrational friendships flood my life in the moment, even though they weren't the 175 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:46.080 best people for me, and we would all gossip, me included. That's 176 00:14:46.080 --> 00:14:48.399 what I mean when I say I wasn't the best person ever. I was 177 00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:52.720 a teenage girl. I would totally gossip in all of that jazz. But 178 00:14:52.000 --> 00:14:56.559 lo and behold, I didn't do specifically anything that would cause an end of 179 00:14:56.159 --> 00:15:01.200 seven or six whatever friendships in the moment. We never want to let go 180 00:15:01.240 --> 00:15:05.639 of that familiarity. But let me just also explain to you something that happened 181 00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:11.759 to me literally yesterday. I needed to find a quest to get blood work, 182 00:15:11.240 --> 00:15:15.919 and I'm in Florida, and I don't really know the terrain down here 183 00:15:15.960 --> 00:15:18.600 because I only come here for a couple months out of the year so that 184 00:15:18.679 --> 00:15:24.720 I can get away from New York's cold, and my navigation system was trying 185 00:15:24.759 --> 00:15:31.360 to find a quest and I could not find this building. I don't usually 186 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.440 lose my shit. I was gonna lose my ship. I'm just gonna be 187 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:37.039 honest with you, I was going to lose my shit because I went circling 188 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:43.159 and circling and circling trying to find this motherfucking Quest building and it did not 189 00:15:43.559 --> 00:15:48.000 exist. I go into one building because I stopped, and I asked a 190 00:15:48.080 --> 00:15:52.360 nurse who what happened to be eating lunch? Where's Quests? I cannot find 191 00:15:52.360 --> 00:15:56.240 it? And she's like, oh, everyone always gets lost. You just 192 00:15:56.240 --> 00:15:58.440 have to go around the bend. I go around the bend and I literally 193 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:00.879 pointed to a building. I go, oh, it's three to five oh 194 00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:04.279 one, that's the building, and she says yes. I go into three 195 00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:08.320 to five one and it's a fucking insurance company. I'm walking in in my 196 00:16:08.360 --> 00:16:14.919 workout clothes. Everyone is in suits and ties and you know, corporate attire 197 00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:18.960 that to me would melt my body if I ever tried putting it on me. 198 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:22.320 I could not, Okay, I could not. Anyway, I walk 199 00:16:22.360 --> 00:16:26.320 in and I have eye contact with this man who's dressed in the nines, 200 00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:29.879 and I literally just turn around and I'm like, okay, this is not 201 00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:33.240 right. I continue to drive. I could not find the Quest building. 202 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:36.399 You know why I couldn't find it because it doesn't fucking exists. I don't 203 00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:38.720 care what anyone says. Maps, Google Maps, Who are you? I 204 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:42.960 don't even know, but you're wrong. Please update yourself anyway, I couldn't 205 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:45.320 find the quest, and then I was like, you know what, let 206 00:16:45.360 --> 00:16:49.120 me call. When I go to call, I see a bunch of terrible 207 00:16:49.399 --> 00:16:53.399 reviews pop up. They make you wait so long. There's a thousand people 208 00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:57.120 in here. It's not really that, you know, great, wonderful, 209 00:16:57.240 --> 00:17:02.360 whatever, And I try calling still. Even after seeing that, I was 210 00:17:02.360 --> 00:17:04.240 like, look, I don't really want to go, but it's the only 211 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:08.000 thing I can think of that can take my blood for my doctor. And 212 00:17:08.119 --> 00:17:11.960 I call, I can't get through. So then I was like, you 213 00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:15.920 know what, God wouldn't do this if he didn't want me to go somewhere 214 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:18.440 else. So I hung up the phone and I just searched up other places 215 00:17:18.440 --> 00:17:22.599 I can get blood taken. I found another place. It was a sort 216 00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:27.319 of mom and pop place, which is weird when you're thinking about I need 217 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:30.839 to get my blood taken, let me go to the mom and pop place. 218 00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:34.160 But the reviews were so good that I thought, you know why not. 219 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:38.200 So again, it's difficult to find things in Florida. Because I'm not 220 00:17:38.279 --> 00:17:44.359 used to this terrain, but I found it. It was It was on 221 00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:48.440 the second floor, but there's only outside stairwells. I take the outside stairwell. 222 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:51.640 I get to the first door. It's a Sweet two hundred, but 223 00:17:51.680 --> 00:17:55.359 I need Sweet two A one. It happens to be that Sweet two A 224 00:17:55.440 --> 00:17:57.319 one is in Sweet two hundred. Who the fuck does that? Okay, 225 00:17:57.359 --> 00:18:00.799 just say it's in Sweet two hundred. Why is there Tweet two a one 226 00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:04.680 in two hundred? You know what? This podcast is not about the layout 227 00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:08.920 of Florida. It is about losing front of me so that we can win 228 00:18:10.039 --> 00:18:14.319 lessons. So let me just get back on track with that. What I 229 00:18:14.440 --> 00:18:19.119 understood from this experience is that I was looking for a quest place because that's 230 00:18:19.119 --> 00:18:23.039 all I knew. But God knew better. He said, Cecy, I 231 00:18:23.079 --> 00:18:26.200 don't want you to have to wait on a very long line and waste your 232 00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:30.720 whole entire day. So I'm going to bring you this mom and pop place. 233 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.519 And guess what. There was no weight. There was one person getting 234 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:38.000 their blood drawn and I walked right in. I gave my paperwork and was 235 00:18:38.039 --> 00:18:41.400 literally mean one other person. She took my blood and I was on my 236 00:18:41.480 --> 00:18:49.759 way sometimes sometimes Okay, here this when I say it, we think we 237 00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:52.720 know what's best for us, and we're gonna fight for it. We're gonna 238 00:18:52.759 --> 00:18:57.519 try hard. We're gonna try to keep these friendships sister relationship. But what 239 00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:03.440 if I told you God knows better and you're missing out on something better. 240 00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:10.400 What if this isn't a friendship but a friend of me. What if this 241 00:19:10.559 --> 00:19:18.640 isn't healthy but a toxic, codependent relationship and there's something better. We often 242 00:19:18.680 --> 00:19:22.799 assume the worst because it's what we're programmed to do. We're listening to our 243 00:19:22.880 --> 00:19:27.079 ego, which is very limited. We are going to have a negative point 244 00:19:27.119 --> 00:19:36.839 of view unless we go in and we shift that ship up. What if 245 00:19:37.319 --> 00:19:41.880 there's something better. I didn't understand that quest wasn't the best option for me 246 00:19:41.039 --> 00:19:45.519 at that time, but God did. And when you listen to the science 247 00:19:45.559 --> 00:19:48.359 and you go with the flow and you say fuck it, I'm gonna flow 248 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:52.720 with this rather than trying to fight everything, you figure it out. It 249 00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:56.240 might take some time for me and my friendships. It took me I really 250 00:19:56.279 --> 00:20:02.720 went through this friendship or break up. It must be twenty nineteen or twenty 251 00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:07.359 twenty, no, probably even before that. Twenty eighteen, and in twenty 252 00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:14.200 twenty three, I'm having this download of understanding more thoroughly about what relationships are 253 00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:18.599 and what kind of friendships I want. If you're dealing with friendships that they 254 00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:25.319 are ghosting on you all the time, if you're dealing with friendships that they 255 00:20:25.400 --> 00:20:29.079 never support you, they low key make fun of you, but say they're 256 00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:33.119 just joking. That's not friendship. That is friend and needs. Let me 257 00:20:33.160 --> 00:20:37.480 just tell you. Show me your friends, and I'll tell you your future. 258 00:20:37.920 --> 00:20:44.880 Because you are the average of the five people you spend the most time 259 00:20:45.279 --> 00:20:52.759 with. I've wasted my time spending time with lower vibrational people. And you 260 00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:56.880 know what that does. It stagnates our growth. Instead of me going after 261 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:03.000 my dreams, posting that TikTok sooner, posting that YouTube cover sooner, I 262 00:21:03.119 --> 00:21:07.720 was so consumed about what they were thinking that I could not even think for 263 00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:14.480 myself and do what was really going to give me happiness. Let me tell 264 00:21:14.519 --> 00:21:19.559 you, if you were living for someone else, you are way overvaluing someone 265 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:26.559 else's opinion. And if you're overvaluing their opinion, there's no fucking way you're 266 00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:30.759 being able to hear yourself and what it is you actually want think about it 267 00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:37.079 like this. If you stepped in dog shit, I wouldn't say, Oh, 268 00:21:37.119 --> 00:21:38.839 like it's stepped in dog shit, you have to stay in it forever. 269 00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:42.480 I would say, no, girl, get that little booty out, 270 00:21:42.720 --> 00:21:48.799 let's clean it off and let's keep moving forward. Just because we've had maybe 271 00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:52.440 shitty relationships or friendships, it doesn't mean we have to be in them forever. 272 00:21:53.200 --> 00:22:00.799 History, history, her story cannot be the only reason you stay in 273 00:22:00.839 --> 00:22:03.559 a friendship. For the longest time, I was telling myself, well, 274 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:07.839 I've known these girls since kindergarten, so I have to be friends with them. 275 00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:11.000 I have so much history with them, so we have to stay friends. 276 00:22:11.200 --> 00:22:15.440 No, no, no, that's a funny reason. That doesn't make 277 00:22:15.480 --> 00:22:19.680 any sense. What unless you want to be a prisoner of your past, 278 00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:25.839 I would decide to not allow history history to be the only reason you stay 279 00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:30.920 in a friendship or even a relationship. It's not enough. It's not enough. 280 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:34.039 If you told me I love this person but they're verbally abusive to me, 281 00:22:34.440 --> 00:22:37.720 I would tell you love is not enough. If you were telling me, 282 00:22:38.079 --> 00:22:41.559 oh, you know, I'm really familiar with this friendship. I love 283 00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:45.799 this friendship, but they're verbally abusive with me. I would tell you love 284 00:22:45.880 --> 00:22:48.440 is not enough. Love is not enough, and history is not enough. 285 00:22:48.680 --> 00:22:52.119 You need more than love of a friendship. You need more than history of 286 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:56.920 a friendship for it to be prolonged. You need boundaries, You need respect, 287 00:22:57.240 --> 00:23:03.720 you need mutual love. It's not just about the feels. All of 288 00:23:03.759 --> 00:23:07.240 the time. You could feel a lot, doesn't mean you're being treated right. 289 00:23:08.359 --> 00:23:14.119 When we stay around people in a lower vibration, we lower our own 290 00:23:14.200 --> 00:23:19.640 vibration because we're the average of those five people where the average intelligence, we 291 00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:26.039 are, even the average weight. It's crazy how intense this is. The 292 00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:32.200 average everything will have the average income of them. So start looking around. 293 00:23:32.480 --> 00:23:37.119 Who are you hanging out with the most, because that's your average. If 294 00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:41.599 your average is people you don't want to be like, you better start moving 295 00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:45.960 and grooving in another direction. And I know it's scary to say, well, 296 00:23:47.640 --> 00:23:48.720 this is all I know. These are the people I know, These 297 00:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.880 are the friendships I know. Trust me, I've been there. Let me 298 00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:56.200 tell you now. You might have some seasons where you're a little bit more 299 00:23:56.240 --> 00:24:00.759 isolated, where you need to revamp your vibration, But that's the whole point 300 00:24:00.759 --> 00:24:04.480 of it. If you want to start inviting in new people into your life, 301 00:24:04.599 --> 00:24:10.119 you have to start shifting your vibration. That might mean a season of 302 00:24:10.279 --> 00:24:14.440 a little bit more alone time. And when you're in that alone time, 303 00:24:14.519 --> 00:24:18.640 what can you actually do to shift your vibration? You listen to podcasts, 304 00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:22.319 Hello, what are we doing right now? You read books, You watch 305 00:24:22.720 --> 00:24:26.400 YouTube videos and vlogs of people you want to be like. You listen to 306 00:24:26.440 --> 00:24:30.559 ted talks. You sign up for that baking class, that yoga class, 307 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:37.559 that martial arts class, that belly dancing class. Put yourself in a position 308 00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:41.119 to win. And the only way you can put yourself in a position to 309 00:24:41.200 --> 00:24:47.200 win is if you start following your own heart, your own opinion, and 310 00:24:47.559 --> 00:24:53.559 stop shoving yourself into a small box because of the opinion of people around you. 311 00:24:53.920 --> 00:24:57.559 We are the most miserable when we're listening to all of that outside noise. 312 00:24:57.720 --> 00:25:02.039 Let me just tell you that when I started listening to what I wanted 313 00:25:02.079 --> 00:25:07.200 to do, my quality of life, my quality of happiness simply got better 314 00:25:07.599 --> 00:25:14.079 because I was following my own heart. You don't have someone else's ideas and 315 00:25:14.160 --> 00:25:18.799 hearts because you're not meant to follow their path. You have your ideas and 316 00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:23.160 your heart, because you're meant to follow your path, and it's a different 317 00:25:23.319 --> 00:25:29.839 path. If you have amazing memories with these friends, that's a great thing. 318 00:25:30.319 --> 00:25:33.960 There's nothing wrong with that. I think that my friendships of my past 319 00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:40.359 they were my soulmates for that time, and then that soul contract was simply 320 00:25:40.440 --> 00:25:45.759 over and we could put it to rest. That's it. That version of 321 00:25:45.799 --> 00:25:51.440 myself had different soulmates than this version of myself has. That version of myself 322 00:25:51.519 --> 00:25:56.960 was in a lower vibration, so they had lower vibration connections and soulmates. 323 00:25:57.000 --> 00:26:03.799 This current version of myself has higher vibrational soulmates, higher vibrational connections that I 324 00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:07.519 am enjoying a lot more. But it has been a process, and no 325 00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:11.720 soulmate, whether their higher vibe or lower vibe, is really better than another. 326 00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:17.839 They're all serving a different purpose in your life. I at first looked 327 00:26:17.880 --> 00:26:19.920 at my friendships that I no longer had as, oh, my god, 328 00:26:19.960 --> 00:26:23.759 a waste of time, and then I realized, no, they were actually 329 00:26:25.079 --> 00:26:30.880 perfect for that timing. They were perfect to help me get through that elementary 330 00:26:30.920 --> 00:26:34.519 school experience, at high school experience, that transition into college. They were 331 00:26:34.599 --> 00:26:40.759 perfect to have these funny, these playful times with But now that I want 332 00:26:40.839 --> 00:26:47.160 more, they can't quench that thirst of connection that I desire because you can 333 00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:51.759 only meet people as deep as they have met themselves. And if you're getting 334 00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:55.200 to the point I know I did, where you're getting tired of going out 335 00:26:55.240 --> 00:27:00.359 and drinking every single weekend, You're getting tired of doing the same thing every 336 00:27:00.400 --> 00:27:03.680 single weekend, You're getting bored with it. You might have to start branching 337 00:27:03.720 --> 00:27:07.559 out to that book club, to someone else and putting yourself out there, 338 00:27:07.880 --> 00:27:12.160 or at least putting yourself in other positions, like I said, positions that 339 00:27:12.200 --> 00:27:17.319 are going to allow you to be happy, like following what it is you 340 00:27:17.480 --> 00:27:22.599 really want to do. The number one regret of the dying is that they 341 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:26.720 didn't go after what they truly wanted, that they didn't really live the life 342 00:27:26.759 --> 00:27:30.680 that they came here to live. I need you to listen to me very 343 00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:37.720 closely. Bitch. You came all the way, all the way to planet 344 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:44.720 Earth, and you incarnated here. If you waste your fucking time worrying about 345 00:27:44.759 --> 00:27:49.440 what other people are thinking of you, what are you doing? What are 346 00:27:49.480 --> 00:27:56.200 you doing? If you waste your precious time worried about what Sally and Paul 347 00:27:56.759 --> 00:28:03.759 are thinking about you. You're giving your power away. Keep in mind, 348 00:28:03.319 --> 00:28:07.799 no one can take your power away. You can only give it away when 349 00:28:07.839 --> 00:28:14.039 you believe the illusion of their limiting beliefs. You can only give it away 350 00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:18.559 when you give up your happiness. You trade your happiness for their bullshit. 351 00:28:21.559 --> 00:28:25.839 That is when our power is stripped from us, because really, we were 352 00:28:25.880 --> 00:28:32.000 the ones who said it's okay for it to be taken from me. I 353 00:28:32.079 --> 00:28:37.000 want to remind you if you are currently having friendships and they don't feel good, 354 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:40.599 there's a reason. If they're not supporting you, if they're low key 355 00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:45.599 bullying you. You need to remove yourself from the situation because you can stagnate 356 00:28:45.640 --> 00:28:51.480 yourself for years by staying in the wrong place. They may have been the 357 00:28:51.559 --> 00:28:56.119 right people for that right time, but not anymore, and it's time to 358 00:28:56.160 --> 00:29:00.000 take a bet, a risk, a chance on yourself. All you need 359 00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:04.440 is at one moment of courage to say I want more than this, I'm 360 00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:07.880 better than this. Let's say you're in a friend group and some of the 361 00:29:07.880 --> 00:29:14.079 friends you can actually see yourself continuously being friends with. Ask them, Hey, 362 00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:15.519 do you want to try this paint night? Do you want to try 363 00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:19.720 yoga. Invite them to be a part of this new vibration. If there's 364 00:29:19.720 --> 00:29:23.759 someone you still like, invite them along for the journey. Invite them along. 365 00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:26.720 You can't get hurt by that. If they say no, Okay, 366 00:29:26.799 --> 00:29:33.240 you're going to meet someone else even better for you. Vibrationally, I want 367 00:29:33.240 --> 00:29:38.359 to keep in mind what a friend actually is. I'm gonna say it again 368 00:29:38.559 --> 00:29:42.200 because I think we need to hear it. There's a lot of different definitions 369 00:29:42.200 --> 00:29:47.000 of what people say friends are, but let me tell you what friends are 370 00:29:47.039 --> 00:29:49.960 not. They're not bullies. They're not going to shove you down into a 371 00:29:51.039 --> 00:29:55.799 box. They're not going to make their limiting beliefs yours. And if they 372 00:29:55.799 --> 00:30:00.920 trip up sometimes because we're all human, they're gonna catch themselves and they're gonna 373 00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:06.480 apologize, and they're gonna have a come to Jesus moment. A friendship that 374 00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:15.160 is based in a soulmate contract. They might not automatically know how to be 375 00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:18.240 a good friend, or how to handle you, how to be with you, 376 00:30:18.359 --> 00:30:22.720 how to operate with you. They might not know it automatically. Many 377 00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:26.519 of them do, but they might not always know. A friend, though, 378 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:33.119 is going to learn and grow with you through your journey. They're not 379 00:30:33.160 --> 00:30:36.640 going to say, oh, you're gonna start singing that is so cringe. 380 00:30:36.759 --> 00:30:38.319 I'm never being friends with you again. They're going to say, wow, 381 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:41.160 that's really cool. I would love to support you. Let me know how 382 00:30:41.160 --> 00:30:45.799 I can. If you're having an insecure night, they're not going to be 383 00:30:45.880 --> 00:30:48.000 like, actually, Betty, you do look ugly in that dress. They're 384 00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:52.200 gonna say, girl, let's find something in my closet. Let's do it 385 00:30:52.279 --> 00:30:55.799 up. Let's figure something out. You look beautiful, but if you don't 386 00:30:55.880 --> 00:31:00.559 like it, let's work this out together. A real friend that's based in 387 00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:04.720 a soulmate contract or someone who has their heart opened, they're going to stay 388 00:31:04.799 --> 00:31:08.359 when things get tough. You're getting bullied on the internet, they're not going 389 00:31:08.440 --> 00:31:11.640 to pace out. They're going to show up for you. You're getting bullied 390 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:17.599 in school, They're sticking up for you. They will look for solutions, 391 00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:21.680 and they're going to try to communicate with you instead of being like, oh 392 00:31:21.680 --> 00:31:25.000 this is too yuck. I'm out of here. I'm going to think about 393 00:31:25.039 --> 00:31:27.079 myself instead. I don't really care about you. If your friends keep going 394 00:31:27.079 --> 00:31:30.640 out to get drunk every single weekend, there's nothing wrong with having a drink 395 00:31:30.680 --> 00:31:34.000 when you're going out whatever. But if you're blocking out every single weekend, 396 00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:38.000 and now you're following your friends who are also doing that, that's going to 397 00:31:38.079 --> 00:31:42.440 lower your vibration because instead of going after your dreams or your goals, or 398 00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:45.759 studying or doing what you need to do, you're now trying to keep up 399 00:31:45.799 --> 00:31:51.359 with the joneses. And these are low vibrational joneses. Instead of you following 400 00:31:51.359 --> 00:31:55.839 your heart, you're numbing yourself. That lowers your vibration. Now you don't 401 00:31:55.839 --> 00:31:57.480 just do it on this weekend, but you do it next week and next 402 00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:00.359 month, and next month, and next year, next year, and eventually 403 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:04.440 this goes on for years and years and years, and you look back and 404 00:32:04.480 --> 00:32:07.279 you're saying, oh my god, what did I do with all of my 405 00:32:07.400 --> 00:32:12.599 time? You end up spending all of this time trying to fit in rather 406 00:32:12.680 --> 00:32:15.480 than trying to make your dreams come true. Of course, that stagnates you. 407 00:32:15.960 --> 00:32:21.440 Of course, that puts you back a couple of years. Of course 408 00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:25.839 it does look how you are being used by your time instead of you using 409 00:32:27.079 --> 00:32:30.720 your time. Not only are you wasting your own time, but you're gonna 410 00:32:30.759 --> 00:32:36.920 get really depleted and feel pretty crappy most of the time. You know, 411 00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:38.359 when you go on a date, or you meet someone new, or you 412 00:32:38.400 --> 00:32:44.240 have a lab partner and there's just no connection there. It just feels I 413 00:32:44.400 --> 00:32:47.759 say, it feels like, what is that tin man? Without any oil 414 00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:54.440 from wizards? I was gonna say, Wizards of Waverley Place the generation that 415 00:32:54.480 --> 00:32:58.079 I'm in, I'm a gen z, but I'm like on the cuss and 416 00:32:58.200 --> 00:33:01.920 sometimes the generational wires to get crossed the Wizard of Oz, not Wizards of 417 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:09.079 Way, really please the tin man in the Wizard of odd Oz. I 418 00:33:09.160 --> 00:33:15.240 can't even the wires they're getting cross It needs oil, this little tin man. 419 00:33:15.880 --> 00:33:17.720 That's what it feels like when you're trying to make a connection when there's 420 00:33:17.880 --> 00:33:23.279 no connection actually there, and it depletes us to try to think about what 421 00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:25.480 should I talk about? Who do I have to be? Oh my god, 422 00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:29.880 I have to put on my mask again? Yay me. That's fucking 423 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:34.599 depleting. So you're wasting your time, you're wasting your energy, and you 424 00:33:34.680 --> 00:33:40.960 feel bad. If any of this is sparking anything in you, it's time 425 00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:45.240 to start making changes now. I'm not saying ditch your friends and be like 426 00:33:45.279 --> 00:33:50.599 so long losers. No, I'm saying, start little by little, pouring 427 00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:55.200 into you more than you're pouring into them. Start little by little, maybe 428 00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:58.319 inviting one of those friends, Hey, do you want to try this? 429 00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:01.920 Instead, start little by little signing up for a new class, or listening 430 00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:07.759 to podcasts or YouTube or Ted talks about things you're interested in. You can 431 00:34:07.799 --> 00:34:10.960 start working on your vibration. Because someone commented on my reel and they bought 432 00:34:12.039 --> 00:34:15.079 up such a great point. They said, you know, even if you 433 00:34:15.199 --> 00:34:17.920 are working with these five people all the time who are in a lower vibration, 434 00:34:19.239 --> 00:34:22.719 you can plug in that podcast or that YouTube video and tune up your 435 00:34:22.760 --> 00:34:27.760 vibration that way. And that is so true because when you're tapping into my 436 00:34:27.880 --> 00:34:31.639 tiktoks or my reels or my twenty one day Breakup Globe Challenge, or this 437 00:34:31.679 --> 00:34:36.519 podcast or my soon to be book, when you tap into that, you're 438 00:34:36.559 --> 00:34:40.280 also tapping into my energy. And therefore, if you're in a lower vibration, 439 00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:45.079 I'm raising you up with me, and I'm tapping into other positive bitches. 440 00:34:45.159 --> 00:34:49.159 So really it's like we're all holding hands and raising up one another. 441 00:34:49.480 --> 00:34:53.440 And that's why it's important we have this weekly community, this weekly talk. 442 00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:58.800 So that we're able to connect with one another. I really have to make 443 00:34:58.840 --> 00:35:02.000 a Facebook group ch for all of us. I have one for the twenty 444 00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:06.440 one day challenge, but I really want to make one for that Bitch's Positive 445 00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:10.360 podcasts in general. And I will eventually put that in the show notes and 446 00:35:10.400 --> 00:35:14.440 I will post that on social media as well, so we can all be 447 00:35:14.480 --> 00:35:19.880 a part of it. But that is just another way to start tuning into 448 00:35:19.920 --> 00:35:23.239 your own vibration instead of tuning into the people around you when they're lowering your 449 00:35:23.320 --> 00:35:29.239 vibration. In a nutshell, what I want you to understand is it took 450 00:35:29.280 --> 00:35:35.320 me years to really build a network around me that felt good to me. 451 00:35:35.679 --> 00:35:38.480 I have friends in a lot of different places, and I only keep the 452 00:35:38.519 --> 00:35:44.480 friendships that feel amazing to me. Because when you have friendships that feel amazing, 453 00:35:44.840 --> 00:35:47.480 they're pouring into you and you're pouring into them. It's an equal exchange 454 00:35:47.559 --> 00:35:52.000 of energy. And that's what I want for you now. I didn't find 455 00:35:52.519 --> 00:35:58.719 this group of women amazing group of women who I was on the panel with 456 00:35:59.039 --> 00:36:01.559 the day after I stop being friends with those girls. It was maybe, 457 00:36:01.639 --> 00:36:07.239 let's say twenty nineteen to twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, twenty twenty two, 458 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:10.199 twenty twenty three, four years later, four years later, But I 459 00:36:10.360 --> 00:36:13.719 did not stop because I knew, no, no, no, no, 460 00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:15.880 I'm worth more than that. If they're not going to support me, I'm 461 00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:19.679 going to get my angels to support me. I'm going to support myself, 462 00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:23.199 but I'm not going to be around people who can't see my worth. When 463 00:36:23.239 --> 00:36:29.840 we do that, we're energetically chasing and it does not feel good. It 464 00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:32.840 doesn't happen overnight for all of us. Some people do. They find their 465 00:36:32.880 --> 00:36:37.280 people and they're good, but it doesn't always happen overnight. But I want 466 00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:42.039 you to have the faith that it will happen, because it will. I 467 00:36:42.119 --> 00:36:45.400 do have another podcast on how to make friends, and I will put that 468 00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:49.440 in the show notes in case you aren't sure about how to do that and 469 00:36:49.480 --> 00:36:53.280 want some more guidance on that. But that is really it for today. 470 00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:58.960 I love you so much. Thank you so much for joining me this week 471 00:36:59.039 --> 00:37:02.760 to ship and chat. The sparkle in me always honors a sparkle in you. 472 00:37:04.280 --> 00:37:07.400 If this podcast resonated, please leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts and 473 00:37:07.440 --> 00:37:12.440 Spotify. It helps this podcast grow, It makes me happy, and if 474 00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:15.800 not for me. It is positive karma for you, so why the heck 475 00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:21.079 not. I love you so much and I will see you in the next 476 00:37:21.079 --> 00:37:52.199 one. Can me cancerash me