WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.839 --> 00:00:14.240 The podcast modified season, two episode four. How are you all? It 2 00:00:14.320 --> 00:00:16.239 ' s an honor, it' s a pleasure. Really. It' 3 00:00:16.239 --> 00:00:20.839 s late, back to account rebooting these podcasts for everyone. The opinions expressed 4 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:26.559 by Chayo Busquets are supported by his extensive experience as a family therapist and in 5 00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:32.320 the previous analysis of the cases presented here, welcome, this is Chayo with 6 00:00:32.399 --> 00:00:40.600 you. We begin to welcome all good start of the week, hoping that 7 00:00:40.640 --> 00:00:47.759 they have spent an extraordinary weekend. And clearly, clearly, we are in 8 00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:55.719 a difficult tense time, which generates more is three in one than in another. 9 00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:59.759 But the truth is that today, even if it is for nothing, 10 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:03.719 it is a political program, given the political environment in which we find ourselves 11 00:01:03.760 --> 00:01:08.280 and in the electoral environment, today we brought a great someone to whom you 12 00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:15.519 love very much, Dr Eduardo Calixto, Eduardo welcome, a taste, very 13 00:01:15.560 --> 00:01:18.640 good afternoon, chacha in a hug and you will say good. But then, 14 00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:21.319 what they' re going to talk about, why you' re warning 15 00:01:21.400 --> 00:01:26.920 us this good, because we' re going to talk to him just about 16 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:33.439 how our brain works, why we radicalize our ideas, why we can get 17 00:01:33.480 --> 00:01:38.799 to the point of getting angry, fighting to break interpersonal relationships, just because 18 00:01:38.799 --> 00:01:40.640 someone doesn' t agree with us in our ideas. And so, given 19 00:01:40.760 --> 00:01:45.079 the climate in which we find ourselves, that' s where we' re 20 00:01:45.079 --> 00:01:49.120 going to understand from. Eduardo Calixto is a researcher in medical sciences, head 21 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.159 of department and medical area at the National Institute of Psychiatry. Ramón de la 22 00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:57.280 fuente. He has a degree in medicine from the Faculty of Medicine of UNAM. 23 00:01:57.400 --> 00:02:04.000 He has a PhD in basic biomedical research from the Institute of Cellular Physiology 24 00:02:04.040 --> 00:02:07.080 and so he could follow me. He has specialities and things in different parts 25 00:02:07.159 --> 00:02:13.840 of the world, in different universities and get ready because today we' re 26 00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:20.199 going to understand how our brain works when we become radical. We' re 27 00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:23.280 talking here with Eduardo Calixto and the subject. The subject is a hot topic, 28 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:30.000 because, obviously, I asked Eduardo to talk about all these polarizations in 29 00:02:30.039 --> 00:02:35.719 ideas, clearly because of the context in which we are developing, because we 30 00:02:35.800 --> 00:02:39.360 are very few days away from the elections and because the very tense atmosphere of 31 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:47.159 personal positions that everyone has and that gave me the idea that we could talk 32 00:02:47.159 --> 00:02:53.520 about this. But this applies to any idea, uh within a couple relationship, 33 00:02:53.960 --> 00:02:57.280 how ideas can be polarized within the relationship between siblings, between friends, 34 00:02:57.680 --> 00:03:02.080 between colleagues in ns work. I mean, apply for everything. But, 35 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:07.120 clearly, in this context, Eduardo is perfectly understood that this is an all 36 00:03:07.960 --> 00:03:12.599 - embracing theme. What happens to the universal brain in every way, every 37 00:03:12.680 --> 00:03:15.639 culture. This is nothing more than us. This can be seen anywhere in 38 00:03:16.120 --> 00:03:22.080 the world that has a brain and has the ability to generate forty- eight 39 00:03:22.120 --> 00:03:24.039 thoughts per minute. That' s what he thinks of our bosom. My 40 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:29.039 God makes two thousand one hundred and sixty decisions a day. It is able 41 00:03:29.159 --> 00:03:35.439 to generate a resource where we have brain structures that pay more attention to the 42 00:03:35.520 --> 00:03:39.000 negative, to what we consider negative. OK, so your point of view 43 00:03:39.039 --> 00:03:43.159 may not be the one I have. And then, at that moment, 44 00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:46.199 I get hooked on something called cognitive dissonance. I tell you look you know 45 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:50.080 what and here over there. And then I say to you five times eight, 46 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:53.759 forty- seven not And then your polteas and tells me to wait, 47 00:03:53.400 --> 00:03:58.400 eduard, five times eight in not those forty- seven. Don' t 48 00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:01.000 wait if it' s forty- seven, look at that point. And 49 00:04:01.159 --> 00:04:05.000 if someone behind me or next door tells you if cha I am forty- 50 00:04:05.800 --> 00:04:13.000 seven, you start to doubt. You have a situation where you say don 51 00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.240 ' t wait for me. This is the conflict we have. First of 52 00:04:15.360 --> 00:04:23.920 all, we have learned from the situation we recognize, but there is also 53 00:04:23.959 --> 00:04:28.199 a process to which, little by little and after commercials, we can talk 54 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:32.879 about what our brain is, generates, elaborates and, of course, project 55 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.759 you are. It happens to all of us. It happens to all of 56 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:42.759 us. You are not out of it are many messages that have been coming 57 00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:46.920 to the question that I was asking you about how much lecturing you are with 58 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:53.439 people who have ideas different from yours and I set as an example the political 59 00:04:53.480 --> 00:04:59.360 stance and very interesting what I read to you this eduardo, because you have 60 00:04:59.360 --> 00:05:01.120 to try not to get hooked, not exact or flat. I' m 61 00:05:01.120 --> 00:05:05.040 not tolerant, I' m passionate, or I' d better be quiet, 62 00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:09.000 that is. But at the end of the day, there' s 63 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:11.920 trouble or there' s no mess. Yes, there is a clear need 64 00:05:11.959 --> 00:05:17.240 for willpower to come into play to try to contain ourselves and to accept and 65 00:05:17.319 --> 00:05:23.240 duty and to provoke and also understand it. Here are two essential points. 66 00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:28.759 One hormone, a wonderful hormone called oxytocin, and or nine amino acids that 67 00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:32.319 makes one person put on each other' s shoes. What we call empathy 68 00:05:33.120 --> 00:05:41.000 is to equalize in the understanding that oxytocin generates that feeling of being part of 69 00:05:41.079 --> 00:05:46.240 a group. I don' t say openly when one person develops oxytocin, 70 00:05:47.199 --> 00:05:51.079 the other person is more tolerant. I' m independent if he' s 71 00:05:51.240 --> 00:05:56.800 my relative, if he' s a collaborator, or if I get the 72 00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:57.600 feeling that, because we agree on many of the ice creams. If there 73 00:05:57.600 --> 00:06:00.759 are affections, we' ll be saying for your sake. But this also 74 00:06:00.839 --> 00:06:04.680 involves that there is a region in our brain that is called Singulo and Insula 75 00:06:05.079 --> 00:06:11.120 Giro. Two brain structures that are constantly evaluating, as we are speaking, 76 00:06:11.399 --> 00:06:15.120 elaborate prosody. This is very interesting. It' s not the same as 77 00:06:15.120 --> 00:06:18.879 I did Thanks for inviting me. Echeyo to Joye, thank you for inviting 78 00:06:19.000 --> 00:06:23.759 me to Joya. Then you' d say, Eduardo, what happens to 79 00:06:23.759 --> 00:06:25.519 you because you get angry, you get angry. So I speak not in 80 00:06:25.560 --> 00:06:30.360 interpretation in less than seven hundred milliseconds makes the brain automatically change the way it 81 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:35.240 interacts. Finally, this point, which I find incredible, is also the 82 00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:41.879 level of stress that we all handle when we have a certain level of high 83 00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:44.680 cortisol and when we have not adapted it. If I come and tell you, 84 00:06:44.759 --> 00:06:46.240 hey, I have a problem, Eduardo, I' m allowed. 85 00:06:46.319 --> 00:06:51.319 My problem is stronger than yours. At that moment I feel displaced and automatically 86 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:59.680 and my next, my future collaborations or interactions, with you automatically is the 87 00:06:59.720 --> 00:07:04.240 limit. So to see the biological, to see the social and psychological veil 88 00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:09.560 involves a lot in this, undoubtedly to see Eduardo, then you told us 89 00:07:09.639 --> 00:07:15.199 about oxytocin, not and how the tone of voice impacts and generates reactions. 90 00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:20.079 Yeah, okay, it' s still in terms of radicalization. Nobody, 91 00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:25.399 that, nobody' s bad in their own movie. We all create an 92 00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:30.360 idea of what a good flake and we are fully convinced because absolute truths I 93 00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:33.600 have lived and built them. I am and live in my brain. So 94 00:07:33.759 --> 00:07:39.079 I can' t allow anyone to say that they' re right about something 95 00:07:39.120 --> 00:07:44.079 that I' ve lived through that I' m aware of and that I 96 00:07:44.199 --> 00:07:48.600 ' ve still witnessed that circumstance. In this context, and there are very 97 00:07:48.680 --> 00:07:56.319 well- developed studies in relation to the fact that males with more testosterone are 98 00:07:56.319 --> 00:08:00.519 more stubborn. Okay, we keep this process of saying what you' re 99 00:08:00.519 --> 00:08:05.600 telling me more is not right. We generate more biases men, we are 100 00:08:05.639 --> 00:08:11.800 more reluctant to change compared to situations where women can change, they can identify 101 00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:18.519 even the moral pain or condition upon which one can change. The great majority 102 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:22.759 of these polarizations that we have seen throughout the world, in the history of 103 00:08:22.759 --> 00:08:26.879 our country, it is very clear that when there is suffering, there is 104 00:08:26.879 --> 00:08:31.600 a catastrophe, a natural problem, we change totally in our positions. If 105 00:08:31.720 --> 00:08:35.480 it' s wonderful and I' m very sorry to say what when there 106 00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:39.000 ' s a hurricane, there' s no earthquake. That' s where 107 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:43.759 we change and there' s no color we are or who we represent oxytocin 108 00:08:43.840 --> 00:08:50.080 and the natural process that human beings have. If without a doubt, it 109 00:08:50.080 --> 00:08:56.679 is now true that the polarization of ideas exists everywhere. However, for example, 110 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:01.960 at the moment, if I feel polarization, I do not know if 111 00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:05.799 it is because it is the present moment, but I feel the most extreme 112 00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:13.559 polarization. What stimulates polarization to become stronger. Of course, on the one 113 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:16.279 hand, the need to be right, on the other hand, the imposition, 114 00:09:16.519 --> 00:09:18.120 on the other hand, the sense of power and control. The brain 115 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:22.960 loves that. How you enjoy the fact that I tell you one thing that 116 00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:28.159 you keep good to me, you' re right. I tell you when 117 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:31.559 there is a terrible conflict, only since you are very careful and you don 118 00:09:31.679 --> 00:09:35.039 ' t want to bring that up for discussion long enough, that you have 119 00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:39.440 to dress up as a cloth, a label or health to say you' 120 00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:43.159 re right. This is an essential point of the brain. That is why 121 00:09:43.159 --> 00:09:46.320 he discusses and therefore considers this, this situation, this condition, it has 122 00:09:46.320 --> 00:09:52.000 been deeply rooted since we are the skilled homos, in condition of a message 123 00:09:52.080 --> 00:10:03.000 and a verbal context to carry it daily eduardo. You mentioned the word fresh. 124 00:10:03.799 --> 00:10:07.279 Yes, no, and how he builds a brain bias, but how 125 00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:11.559 he does it, he builds it from the first stages in life, the 126 00:10:11.759 --> 00:10:16.000 first, the first biases that we have appear since the seven eight nine years 127 00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.639 where, no, we don' t ask, we don' t question. 128 00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:22.960 It' s a way we learn it and gradually this is generating neural 129 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:26.559 networks. We call it neuronal plasticity, which you consider to be correct. 130 00:10:28.360 --> 00:10:31.279 We have one of those wonderful pretty ones, look at you, like I 131 00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:35.559 said. Please and thank you, ok then turn around and say look what 132 00:10:35.679 --> 00:10:37.720 a nice boy. But if this is going to South America, you tell 133 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:43.399 them clear commands turning around they tell you that you' re saying no that 134 00:10:43.480 --> 00:10:46.519 I sent you as Mexican, what you' re doing. The vast majority 135 00:10:46.519 --> 00:10:50.360 of us do what the will of the vast majority preceded many of our things 136 00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:56.480 that we think about and it is very interesting because we usually repeat what happens 137 00:10:56.519 --> 00:11:00.200 most often at home and we do not question it then. Before this, 138 00:11:00.639 --> 00:11:03.039 I have to say that many of the times, even as we think when 139 00:11:03.080 --> 00:11:09.000 we see that this contrasts with a situation where there is generalization of we are 140 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:13.919 in the office or in the school. We often question many of our questions, 141 00:11:15.480 --> 00:11:18.919 but I have to say there are three wonderful studies. Nothing more. 142 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:22.720 I' m gonna tell you right now O and Joya' s friends who 143 00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:26.879 are sitting down. There are seven people sitting in an office before they all 144 00:11:26.919 --> 00:11:30.679 agreed and one person arrives and there is a seat, sits down and three 145 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:35.480 minutes later they all get up. The person who arrives sits down and sees 146 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:41.600 them get up. He knows no doubt and it almost takes 20 seconds to 147 00:11:41.679 --> 00:11:45.240 stand up. He doesn' t know why he stood up, but he 148 00:11:46.000 --> 00:11:48.600 assumes he had to do what others want. Hey on the street. That 149 00:11:48.639 --> 00:11:52.120 happens to us if a group of people start turning to a certain place, 150 00:11:52.200 --> 00:11:56.799 because something happened we all turned around. If, in general terms, these 151 00:11:56.840 --> 00:12:03.519 biases learn us to do even say with musical jingles or with a situation when 152 00:12:03.519 --> 00:12:07.960 you go to the super see a brand and say good, because you always 153 00:12:07.960 --> 00:12:11.480 do. So, why do you buy that and the story of Grandma' 154 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:15.320 s, when you go to the rice, with the tail, with the 155 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:18.440 fork and they say after other generations, why did it to Grandpa, because 156 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:22.480 in his house there were no spoons this circumstance so often that it seems so 157 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:26.919 simple, and they are learning circumstances that we take every day and that we 158 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.159 generate those biases and that is the way that I, to you I can 159 00:12:31.279 --> 00:12:35.679 give arguments of what I have lived and consider it as a truth so free 160 00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:39.399 that we feel and so determined that we are and that we can change them 161 00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:43.200 is the beautiful thing. It' s also a human brain that can change. 162 00:12:43.480 --> 00:12:50.559 What happens then with ideas, especially those that generate so much passion if 163 00:12:50.879 --> 00:12:54.720 there is no way to change them, because we can, if we can 164 00:12:54.720 --> 00:12:58.879 change them. It has shown us throughout the evolution of our species, we 165 00:12:58.879 --> 00:13:03.600 are able to mutate, change, transform it as long as it is a 166 00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:09.480 constant work. The process of modifying neural networks takes 28 to 30 days. 167 00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:15.519 So, when we modify and we identify that we can change the way we 168 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:20.919 interpret or decrease a lot of the events that are strikingly conflicting me. If 169 00:13:22.039 --> 00:13:24.840 we can do it. Therapy, that' s why it works, magnetic 170 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:28.600 stimulation, transcanning, that' s why it works. But there must be 171 00:13:28.679 --> 00:13:31.840 disposition on the part of the person who does not necessarily change it. But 172 00:13:31.919 --> 00:13:37.320 if you question yourself and be aware that this is generating conflicts, you may 173 00:13:37.320 --> 00:13:41.080 not not not not in favor of others, but perhaps modify the emotional and 174 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:50.679 cognitive response with which he sometimes breaks and rises and generates many conflicts. As 175 00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:56.840 we differentiate or can differentiate the brain level of brain functioning, which is to 176 00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:03.759 have a posture in front of something when you have already radicalized the posture and 177 00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:09.440 there is no longer anything that allows you to even self- question yourself, 178 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:13.679 you are so certain that there is no longer the benefit of the doubt, 179 00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:18.200 as it is said by burning notice that those thoughts rar quickly jump you in 180 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:22.279 less than a minute. No, because it' s immediately what traps the 181 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:24.879 real process. Without realizing that every time we think of an idea and as 182 00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:30.200 much as it is rooted, we are modifying it. Our memories are not 183 00:14:30.279 --> 00:14:33.480 videos, they change nothing else. I want to tell you with this, 184 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:37.759 dear friends of Joya, that forty- six percent of what you are thinking 185 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:41.360 is nothing more real. It' s practically over half of fifty- four 186 00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:43.759 percent. He' s not loyal like what happened. We' ve edited 187 00:14:45.120 --> 00:14:46.159 it, we' ve changed it, we' ve modified it. That 188 00:14:46.279 --> 00:14:50.159 ' s why sometimes you turn around and say hey it wasn' t like 189 00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:52.480 that. Uh, to see who saw it you and I then let me 190 00:14:52.559 --> 00:14:56.360 say, so you say, not that' s already changed. I hate 191 00:14:56.360 --> 00:15:01.279 it, because it' s the function that we edit, that I always 192 00:15:01.360 --> 00:15:05.080 want to feel still and even if I was guilty to have the justification of 193 00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:09.159 why it happened. And when I am the true and real possessor of truth, 194 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:18.039 to say that you have never understood me or how complex we are. 195 00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:20.000 I' m going to ask the question anyway, because they' re doing 196 00:15:20.559 --> 00:15:26.200 it here, although I think you already gave me the answer, why some 197 00:15:26.240 --> 00:15:33.480 people, despite seeing the contradictions that might come before a situation, still hold 198 00:15:33.559 --> 00:15:37.360 their idea. In the same way, there are two fundamental factors. One, 199 00:15:39.080 --> 00:15:46.399 the process of how they develop and how they have built that thought that 200 00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:50.399 learning and what they project with it, that is, it said Anstein, 201 00:15:50.759 --> 00:15:56.360 it was more difficult to change a person by the way of thinking that the 202 00:15:56.440 --> 00:16:00.799 expression of a gene doesn' t imagine that it speaks of how sometimes difficult 203 00:16:00.840 --> 00:16:06.200 it can be to change the way of thinking, because it is in the 204 00:16:06.240 --> 00:16:08.519 cognitive process of not doing it. This is my absolute truth. And the 205 00:16:08.559 --> 00:16:15.879 second is emotion. The more excited we are, we release a neurotransmitter that 206 00:16:15.960 --> 00:16:21.320 makes us take away logic and congruence. It seems like a paradox, the 207 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:23.600 same one with which we fall in love, with which we are happy, 208 00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:27.039 we also get angry. It is called dopamine, and this neurotransmitter, when 209 00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:33.559 more active and more concentration increases, decreases the intelligent part of the brain. 210 00:16:33.639 --> 00:16:37.759 That' s why a discussion where they' re already angry, the two 211 00:16:37.799 --> 00:16:41.759 of us, there' s gonna be no way to agree. It' 212 00:16:41.799 --> 00:16:47.039 s the worst time to be able to make an argument. Wow wow that 213 00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:49.320 phrase you said, I think it' s pretty important. The more emotional 214 00:16:49.440 --> 00:16:55.000 I' m less willing to be involved, the more we' re going 215 00:16:55.000 --> 00:16:56.879 to be totally modifying an idea. So if I was passionate about something that 216 00:16:57.720 --> 00:17:03.480 ' s why you' re saying so much you' ll want to choose 217 00:17:03.519 --> 00:17:07.839 a football and politics you shouldn' t talk about, because there' s 218 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:07.720 so much excitement involved that that' s what makes it totally difficult. That 219 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:14.039 ' s why we were right to talk about a situation that excites me so 220 00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:18.359 much and changes me to the way I speak and prosedia think. If you 221 00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:21.720 ' re smart to say it, you have to be careful. The dopa 222 00:17:21.799 --> 00:17:26.480 mna has already risen and will no longer listen to us waw. We' 223 00:17:26.559 --> 00:17:34.799 re back and educated. Evidently, in order to reach agreements, people need 224 00:17:34.880 --> 00:17:37.839 to be able to have openness to each other' s ideas and to each 225 00:17:37.839 --> 00:17:44.519 other' s trends. How we educate our children, our teenagers or we 226 00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:51.240 educate ourselves to win, because nothing forces me to that if I listen to 227 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:55.880 you, I have to think like you but to win out, to go 228 00:17:56.279 --> 00:18:03.359 making my context of knowledge and information wider, that skills are the ones that 229 00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:07.240 we have to educate, direct communication and know, listen, know how to 230 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.279 listen and pause for you to talk to me and understand. What you' 231 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:15.400 re telling me in the specific context of I' m going to be empathetic, 232 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:18.759 because you' re going to give me at the same time that I 233 00:18:18.759 --> 00:18:22.039 communicate with you and don' t interrupt me, because the truth is wonderful 234 00:18:22.039 --> 00:18:26.000 that we can take that wonder. Second, don' t provoke and more, 235 00:18:26.400 --> 00:18:29.640 when we' re younger or when you feel like being as you ask 236 00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:32.559 yourself ah sure, I can induce you to hear is that what you' 237 00:18:32.599 --> 00:18:34.400 ve told me before and notice I' m going to start saying that it 238 00:18:34.480 --> 00:18:40.240 ' s not true, by the way you' re denying my entry process 239 00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:41.079 that we don' t have these, you don' t agree with me. 240 00:18:41.400 --> 00:18:45.720 But you already said it' s not true in the context of constant 241 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:48.200 denial, not aggressive passive look. I was going to bring you something, 242 00:18:48.359 --> 00:18:51.759 but I didn' t bring it to you anymore because you always get angry. 243 00:18:51.799 --> 00:18:55.720 So you didn' t bring it to me, not to stop me 244 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:57.799 from asking for aj and I' m going to throw myself on the floor 245 00:18:57.799 --> 00:19:00.240 so you can get me up. Not then how you turn around and say 246 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:06.440 that I victimize myself so much that provocation of being saying that I have to 247 00:19:06.519 --> 00:19:11.279 make you feel guilty about something without first or feel sorry for something. And 248 00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:18.160 finally, and one of the basic elements is authenticating emotion. That thing he 249 00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:21.880 ' s got is called anger. That' s what he' s got 250 00:19:21.880 --> 00:19:26.400 It' s called sadness. What you have is really a passion for what 251 00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:30.279 you' re doing, because the great majority of us tell them and forgive 252 00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:34.319 them and for the tone and don' t get angry not luris, then 253 00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:36.799 you say no. Then that' s all. I was hoping you' 254 00:19:36.839 --> 00:19:40.480 d tell me to be happy, so I' d run out and hug 255 00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:44.759 everyone. Generally speaking, we have to recognize that a person cannot last for 256 00:19:44.759 --> 00:19:47.799 more than fourteen minutes. The brain doesn' t have the capacity to do 257 00:19:47.799 --> 00:19:49.119 it. If we' re going to get angry, not over thirty- 258 00:19:49.400 --> 00:19:52.279 six minutes, because that talks bad about mental health. And if I' 259 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:56.200 m going to stress, no more than ninety minutes, because because ninety- 260 00:19:56.359 --> 00:19:59.880 one minutes, as a football game, something is already passing me my memory 261 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:03.119 with your term. You' re charging me that I don' t remember 262 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:04.880 all that. So, even identifying the emotion you' re stressed out. 263 00:20:06.440 --> 00:20:10.400 You allow me or you know we' ll fix it later. But as 264 00:20:10.519 --> 00:20:15.359 long as you' re saying this emanates from an emotion we can' t 265 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:18.720 fix. The problem with the emotion he was born with. That is a 266 00:20:18.720 --> 00:20:27.559 fundamental point. Eduardo. This whole context is not creating climates and that intensifies 267 00:20:27.640 --> 00:20:30.920 emotions, because I was saying good to see you. Let' s talk 268 00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:37.119 about emotions then, because clearly we think that ideas and emotions are completely separate 269 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:40.559 and in separate departments, but from what I' m seeing, they live 270 00:20:40.599 --> 00:20:42.720 together and sometimes they' re sleeping next to one and you don' t 271 00:20:42.720 --> 00:20:48.720 realize. Emotions are fundamental because they increase the process of cognition memory. Ok 272 00:20:48.960 --> 00:20:52.400 if I ask you what you did on 19 September of the year two thousand 273 00:20:52.680 --> 00:20:56.319 seventeen Edvards is the day of the Tremor, yes, but what you did 274 00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.759 on 28 January this year. Except that something very emotional has happened, as 275 00:21:02.359 --> 00:21:04.000 it is possible that we remember what happened seven years ago and what happened three 276 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:10.319 or four months ago, does not happen this wonder of how emotion reminds us 277 00:21:10.359 --> 00:21:15.119 more has a basic principle and is that emotion generates a better learning, generates 278 00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:21.640 memories more, stronger and more forceful for good and sometimes not also clear, 279 00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:26.319 then they are behind phobias, they are transparent from the post- traumatic stress, 280 00:21:26.680 --> 00:21:33.680 they are behind the grudges. There are times that you ask him today 281 00:21:33.839 --> 00:21:37.480 because you like him so much your uncle ol tells you because it is already 282 00:21:37.599 --> 00:21:42.119 nice, because precisely because one considers himself sometimes basic that and that is a 283 00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:48.200 process that in Dirty, that manipulates, that is generating some kind of already 284 00:21:48.279 --> 00:21:53.200 cognitive behavioral processes. That' s why emotion, when we know them here 285 00:21:53.240 --> 00:21:56.319 and know how to mention them, is a wonderful thing. The one point 286 00:21:56.400 --> 00:22:02.240 five percent of the world' s population has the exi thymia. Alexitimia means 287 00:22:02.359 --> 00:22:06.240 I don' t know what emotion I have. I don' t know 288 00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:07.160 if I want to cry? I don' t know if I want to 289 00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:11.319 laugh? I don' t know if I' m feeling bad about this 290 00:22:11.319 --> 00:22:15.720 and one turns around and says good if you don' t know you' 291 00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:18.400 re not the whole ru was stronger. Between seven and fourteen years there was 292 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:23.160 a very strong trauma, a very strong violence that changed the cognition and how 293 00:22:23.240 --> 00:22:29.400 these brain areas were connected. So, it' s very important maybe to 294 00:22:29.680 --> 00:22:33.559 talk to the child, to the young man and tell him what you have 295 00:22:33.559 --> 00:22:36.279 that anger, but you have to understand that. What you have is a 296 00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:40.759 very great happiness and understanding that all self- limit and those that are the 297 00:22:40.839 --> 00:22:42.960 fastest self- limiting. It is happiness, for example, the feeling of 298 00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:48.240 feeling good. And if I tell a joke, several times the joke doesn 299 00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:51.759 ' t work anymore. The joke works once or twice, four times you 300 00:22:51.759 --> 00:22:55.519 say hey no parale. The same joke is seven times not anymore. I 301 00:22:55.640 --> 00:23:00.480 like that kind of interaction. You have to understand them. So the message 302 00:23:00.519 --> 00:23:06.799 is to know, to carry an emotion to better consolidate cognition. It' 303 00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:10.119 s an exaber art, it makes you laugh and sometimes you have to think 304 00:23:10.119 --> 00:23:11.799 about it. And that' s why, when a movie came out and 305 00:23:11.799 --> 00:23:17.039 made us laugh, crying thinking are the best movies, but it was a 306 00:23:17.039 --> 00:23:21.759 churro. It doesn' t matter I mix three emotions and at that time 307 00:23:22.039 --> 00:23:27.039 it was worth the two hours of cinema. Wo bien, because we arrived 308 00:23:27.240 --> 00:23:33.599 practically at the end of the program and I would have one last question to 309 00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:38.599 ask you, Eduardo, why we tend to attack the other one who thinks 310 00:23:38.599 --> 00:23:45.400 different. Instead of arguing, there is an evaluation that passes from our brain, 311 00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.160 because our logic and our congruence, that the most intelligent part in our 312 00:23:48.240 --> 00:23:53.240 brain, that the prefrontal cortex is the one that projects a lot of ours 313 00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:56.880 into our daily life, start to see that a person disagrees with me. 314 00:23:57.079 --> 00:24:03.599 It changes my way of speaking more differently than the way I speak and aggression 315 00:24:03.799 --> 00:24:10.880 starting verbally later with physical language and eventually and threatening. It' s beyond 316 00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.599 that process because it makes us angry. We base this process on it because 317 00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:19.359 we believe that this is how things work, because they give us more attention 318 00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:26.359 and that circumstance of everyday life, we have to recognize that it is learned 319 00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:30.519 m is not so much we that we have done so in part because we 320 00:24:30.599 --> 00:24:37.279 have passed a critical stage with that violence and that they made us understand we 321 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:40.680 represent and we present it again the victim. Now he becomes a victimist and 322 00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:45.559 then interestingly. Many of these patterns are inherited, but with a scar. 323 00:24:45.079 --> 00:24:52.640 I always say it neurobiologically. This needs to be recognized and this is very 324 00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:56.200 common for men. Males have as much as seventy- five percent greater the 325 00:24:56.240 --> 00:25:00.680 mit to the brain, a brain structure that makes us recon not being who 326 00:25:00.839 --> 00:25:03.440 we are and we are made the males to impose much on what we do. 327 00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:07.359 I say this very carefully, because this can lend itself to a misinterpretation 328 00:25:07.440 --> 00:25:15.240 drawn from context. The average male loves to be right and to justify it, 329 00:25:15.920 --> 00:25:18.720 but when I do not find this justification, he does so with violence 330 00:25:18.759 --> 00:25:23.160 with the aggression of threat. Now, well, the idea of this program 331 00:25:23.240 --> 00:25:30.480 and I thank you infinitely, is that we understand more how we work than 332 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:36.039 if and when it' s worth it that if you' re going to 333 00:25:36.119 --> 00:25:40.599 end a relationship with someone of the kind it is, it' s for 334 00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:44.920 good reasons and nothing more because of a lack of knowledge and a bad management 335 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:47.519 of emotions and a little respect for the opinion of the other. At the 336 00:25:47.519 --> 00:25:49.960 end of the day, everyone is going to generate their own ideas regarding any 337 00:25:49.960 --> 00:25:53.200 topic. This is no longer about politics, it is about any subject, 338 00:25:53.880 --> 00:26:00.279 but it makes us learn from ourselves to have better interpersonal relationships and better functioning 339 00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:06.759 ours. So I thank you as always infinitely that you come for a ride 340 00:26:06.799 --> 00:26:08.279 up there, because I know you don' t stay at all around, 341 00:26:08.680 --> 00:26:11.519 but for me it' s an honor and a privilege a lot. I 342 00:26:11.599 --> 00:26:17.400 thank you infinitely and I want to tell you that I am going to meet 343 00:26:17.599 --> 00:26:22.960 this gentleman here on Friday at a conference that I will then tell you about, 344 00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:26.640 because there is a Congress and he will open and if you see, 345 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.400 how people receive it. Well, we have a pleasure to do us the 346 00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:37.759 honor of attending the program. We listen to each other tomorrow at 1: 347 00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:45.480 00 p m, in more than Chayo with you until then Audio Center