M blame you about. Hello, and welcome to Two Therapists on the Microphone.
I am doctor Harrison Davis and I'm doctor Asia Dickerson. Two Therapists on
the Microphone is a sure about mental health relationships and social issues that personally affect
you. We broadcast live every Monday evening at seven o'clock PM on the our
Black Media Network. Harrison and I are two licensed therapists with decades of clinical
experience, and we really want to hear from you. We want you all
to tell us about your situations and the dilemmas and stuff that you're going through
in your life. So please send us your questions by visiting www dot two
therapist dot com and click on as two Therapists at the top of the page.
I think you can also probably do the same thing by seeing us direct
messages on fashre. Can I get those two that's too much? Or you
just shoot us a message on social media? We do check those absolutely.
So that's yeah. You like doctor Asia just mentioned, we are too sense.
That's like keywords psychotherapists like that means we know what we're doing. And
because there's some other folks out there, I watch them and they're trying to
give some relationship advice. They've never been married, they're not licensed, they've
never finishing in type A graduate program. I don't even know if they went
to college, you know, and some of the advice that they're giving people
sounds more like entertainment. Well, I'm definitely entertained by you. I'm entertained.
I'm not, I'm not. I have to turn it off sometimes.
But today, you know, this is still June of twenty twenty three,
and we're here to highlight primarily Black fathers, you know, for Father's Day,
we're gonna celebrate it all damn month of June. And we got a
email from the website from somebody and like I mentioned last time, you know,
in order for us to help the brothers out, the Black fathers in
particular, um, we sometimes have to focus on the things that aren't so
good. You know, we're gonna have to correct some thing. So we're
also here to support you and help guide you on the right path. So
that's just to give your a little warning about we're about to hear. And
I thought the Asian take it from there, Yeah, because whatever the information
is, well, I'll say, depending on what it is Harrison is probably
going to be the one who's going to present it to you nicely, and
I'm going to present it to you like everybody else wants to present it to
you. But either way it's going to be presented to you. I don't
know. I'm well, we'll see, all right. So we have a
message from She refers to herself as Melissa, female, age forty six in
the Marietta, Georgia area. Background of history. Ex husband and I are
divorced over ten years ago. He be married and recently got divorced again.
I am in a two year relationship planning a future together. Recently my uninvolved
ex with our three children eighteen female, eighteen senior, sixteen year old male,
a sophomore who's a thirteen year old girl in the seventh grader. Let
me back up, trying at how to best explain this the way she put
it here, But her uninvolved X and those were the ages and genders of
her three children took her back to court for custody of the younger children to
live with him. I was, I want to say, I am planning
on having a graduation get together for my oldest at my boyfriend's house. And
my ex is not going to be welcome. Okay. We never had a
relationship that was amicable. He still continues to lie manipulate in old funds.
To me, I know it's not about me, but I gave him the
option to have a party on a different day and he was not happy with
that and said it's his parenting weekend and that our younger kids then would not
be able to tend at ten and he was going to have a party the
same day. I hate putting my daughter in the middle and my wrong for
not having him at ten. So synopsis, they have three children together.
When it is eighteen, he's taken her back to court for custody of the
two youngests, and the graduation weekend, I'm assuming the weekend is on his
weekend. She does not want him at the party she's having because it's going
to be at her boyfriend's house, and so he's like, well, the
kids, it's my weekend. The kids will be with me, and they
just won't be at the graduation party. So her question is am I wrong
for not wanting him there? For not having him there? And I have
a lot to say, So I'm gonna let Harrison start yeah, this is
actually the first time I'm here, I'm hearing it. I decided not to
read it on email, so I don't I don't know. I think it's
a bigger question besides am I wrong? Am I right? You know?
Uh? This is uh. I would explore the dynamics between you and your
baby daddy. Now you you you you married him, you had the kids,
and I'm not blaming anybody for you know, the state of your affairs
right now. Um, but I think there needs to be some more priority
placed on the two of you working things out for the sake of the kids.
That's that's that's that's what I would suggest. Not no one's wrong or
right. You know, you're you're entitled to have a party. I don't
see anything wrong with it for your son. You know, the dad's not
invited, but perhaps you know the guy, you know him, that's your
baby daddy. That's true x lsban. You knew how he was going to
respond, you know, to you having a party on his weekend. You
know, I think I would have encouraged you to try to work this out
early in advance, try to smooth things out, because you still got a
cool parent. You know, those other two younger kids, and my god,
it's been like, well she said it got divorced ten years ago,
yes, ten years ago, and they've never had an amicable relationship. They
always hated that. So there's there is a side of me that wonder's you
know, she was damn and she did damn and she she didn't. It
didn't matter. I I would have suggested, you know, talking to the
baby daddy, that's what I'm gonna call him, the x husban well before
graduation time and work out a plan on what they're gonna do so that their
son can be happy and satisfied and not embarrassed about things. But we didn't
do that. We didn't do that at all. Because it also sounds like
you you poured some fuel on that wound and it got irritated. So that's
that's that's my first initial take on it. We could have approached this a
lot differently. No, if the differently she could have approached it, if
it were me, would have probably possibly been a tab more volatile. Or
let's let me back up. One thing that we're missing is that to me,
there's too much going on already. He's taking her to court for customer
of the two kids, so our reside. You can't say anything to me
for me because there's already a court case open. Let's just go ahead and
have this address in court right quick. Let's get something written up so that
you can't have kids right. You can't have the two youngest ism during the
weekend of the graduation because this guy is trying to control the graduation party and
saying if I can't come, which God, trust me, nobody wants you
there. She doesn't want you. It's her boyfriend's house. Why do you
want to be there, Her family doesn't want you there. Uh, the
eighteen year old might not want you there either. I would like to get
a little more information about that. But why would you want to try to
force yourself into a party of people who don't like you? So you believe
he's doing it out of spite? He okay, And so he said he's
gonna have his own party where nobody's gonna come. Nobody's gonna come to your
party. Guy. Your mom might be there because you know she's doing her
best to try to remain neutral. You have a bunch of people, probably
who you think are your friends, who ain't thinking about they haven't thought about
you or your kids at this point, then not think about him again.
Your second ex wife probably isn't coming right now. Like everybody's keeping their hands
off of you. You got too much going on. They're not coming to
your little funky party. So I so I hear what you're saying. Let
should get it. So I acknowledge the mom Melissa, I think it's her
name. Yes, she may not she you know, she may not have
put energy in trying to avoid this. But what I'm also hearing is that
the baby daddy, the divorced husband, the ex husband, he's acting more
like a child situation. I think that it's important for Melissa and her boyfriend
to be able to set their boundaries. It makes no sense for her ex
husband, who we are currently having court issues like with, to be at
her boyfriend's house, her boyfriend of two years. You just want to start
a fight. You're gonna come, and you're gonna say, he's gonna come,
and he's gonna say something stupid. He's going to try to pick a
fight, and then the whole day is going to be ruined for the eighteen
year old is a daughter for the eighteen year old daughter so instead, he
says, if I can't come and ruin the day that way, I'm going
to try to ruin the day by keeping her two youngest siblings from being there
as well, because it's my week. Yeah. Yeah, the question I
would have if I was able to talk to them, where are the adults
in this situation? Where and where are I get that? He's more of
a child. And it would be great if this black man, I don't
know, this father um would have taken a higher road and become a little
bit more mature for the sake of his kids, for God's sakes. You
know, that's the disappointing part right there. You know, I'm trying not
to place blame. I guess you're right. I'm trying to give the nice
approach. How do you take somebody to court to try to take their kids
and then expect them to let you come to their boyfriend's house. I don't
know. I don't even expect to be and don't expect to be in my
space, expect that whenever you come close enough to my hand is going to
make contact. We see, Oh take heed? Uh? What would be
great? You know if all of them could attend the same party, regardless
of the location, for the sake of the kids. That's that's the optimist
within me that I would have encouraged, you know. But but what it
sounds like there is a narrative here that the ex husband cannot do, that
he's not capable of doing, that, that he's going to be spiteful,
and he's trying to sabotage everything. I'm not quite sure why, you know,
because it looks like he has a bad track record, you know,
with families and wise. But that's that's something that is disappointing with the story.
M It would have been great. We had a happy ending where they
all go to the day on party. I've seen that before. You know,
the ex shows up. Yeah, the ex shows up with the new
boyfriend or girlfriend whoever, and they all get together for the sake of the
kids. I have seen that before. But apparently that's not going to happen
here. I'm I'm not ready to put all the blame on the ex husband
because there is another person who plays a role here. But he is definitely
sabotaging things, that is for sure. I'm not even wanting to call it
blames so much as the logical consequence of taking somebody to court to try to
take their kids. The logical consequence is they don't invite you to group our
partnering things anymore. I know a lot of families, myself included, who
will have joint parties, joint birthday parties, joint celebrations and alledge. That
takes time. That's never well. Some people they break up amicably or they
have this stuff in core orders, but if it's not in there, it
takes some years to cultivate for not just forgiveness, but um yeah, cooperation.
That's where cooperation in a decent co parenting relationship takes time. And sometimes
it can be great and something happens and it goes bad again that we work
back up to it being great, and then sometimes it goes bad again.
But either way, I think is a more volatile situation for them to be
forced to be around each other knowing that they hate each other. In this
moment they hate each other. I could tell what happened. I could tell
this the Melissa person. Uh I hated for Melissa. I'm not. I'm
not hating anybody. I I want a happy outcome, especially for the high
school graduate. You know, so let's let's dig a little bit deeper into
this, so we can you know, throw out some theories, you know,
perhaps like how did the husband ex husband get to this point? What
what has motivated the Melissa, the woman who wrote us to exclude the husband,
you know, how did they get to this point? That's that's what
I want to talk about, and so we can help our audience to look
at some warning signs and try to avoid a situation like this. This is
just horrible. I feel bad for the high school graduate. Right. They
have a whole narrative in my head for how it came. So let's start
with them, with the wife, the ex wife, Melissa, and how
does she get here? You know, let's start with ten years ago.
She was married to a man in love and you know, it didn't work
out. And so she's young too. Ten years ago it didn't work out.
So they were together for a minimum of eight years, possibly more,
but they were together almost a decade. So they got married at college age.
She's forty six, so I would say thirty late late twenties. That's
right, that's right, you're correct, Okay, that's right. Okay,
Yeah, something happens. They had three kids, right. Okay, so
they used to like each other. They did a lot. Obviously they liked
something about each other. Okay, well it kept them together for a minute,
and then and then it didn't work out. Uh. And whatever he
did in that marriage, he maybe did in the second marriage. But now
he's all alone. She sounds like the wife, the ex wife, is
trying to cut him out of just the graduation party. Yeah, the celebration.
He wasn't invited. I get it. He owes her money. I
saw that, and it sounds like he really wasn't there throughout the ten years.
She said, uninvolved, uninvolved, That is right. So that that
tells and that's what fueled her to playing the party, the graduation party without
the dad. So I sant to get that now, you know, I'm
just wondering she thought about all the options. Did she know how he was
going to react? That's what I would ask her. Of course she did.
Now, now this is where where I'm I'm in line with with where
you were going with that, Harrison, And this would be the what I
would tell her, because what's what's gonna happen is, especially if he's uninvolved,
he's punishing the two youngest kids because it's it's there, it's his weekend,
and they can't elect not to go. So my as from someone who
just had a child graduate from high school, let me tell you there are
plenty of graduation parties the weekend of the graduation. Feel free to move yours
to the next weekend. Okay, people will appreciate it. I was going
to like two, three four graduation parties in one day. I would have
loved to move. Mind too. Well, we had ours on a Thursday,
which was great. No one else had their schedule for a Thursday,
and people appreciated that. But if someone else had had and one the following
weekend, I would have attended. And if this woman were to have hers
on the following weekend, the children will be able to be there. You
can still leave your ex husband now and people will have had a week to
rest from the other graduation parties. You might while you kid might wind up
with more money more Yeah, so I like that. So thinking logically about
it, like having it on a weeknight, you know, having it on
a Thursday night or Friday night, maybe a week after graduation instead of the
weekend, having on a Thursday. Because I'm pretty sure she had to know
that, the jerk that he is, she knew that, and she knew
that was his weekend. You know what I'm saying is wrong or right,
you know, but we we gotta make decisions sometimes that are best for our
kids, you know. So, But she went ahead and move head forward
with her plans to have the graduation party on a Saturday, when it sounds
like the joint custod agreement stipulates that he has the kids on the weekends,
you know so, So I like to look at all sides of the story.
Well, I mean another thing. I also see that if she had
family coming in from out of town and may have been difficult for her to
move it to another weekdad. But like we just said, a week day.
Now here's the part where she was maybe there was maybe a little sprinkle
of panty, just maybe on her party half the party at my boyfriend's house,
because we already know he can't come to the boys. I saw that.
I saw that because you read it. I was reading why is it
at the boyfriend's house? Does he have a huge can you get a center?
And tell her? Asked ex husband? Does he want to pay for
half the event? Center or sit out. There's a part of We're gonna
talk about the husband x husband in a second, but but it's a part
of me that, like you believes she she was playing some type of Petty
roll in this. I am convinced she knew Patty though, where she could
feign ignorance, like what what did I what did I do? You all
know he has a huge house and like you said, maybe he has a
poll. It's set up. I don't know, Patty. It's like a
light switch, it's like the honors off. So if you may deemed it
just a little bit, but you know, she she played a role in
this too. I'm not blaming her. I'm not blaming her, you know,
but but I truly believe as adults, especially parents, we have to
be a little bit more savvy with these things, uh, to avoid embarrassing
the kids. Uh. It can be difficult at times, and we gotta
jump through some logistical hoops, you know sometimes. But that would have been
one way. I like what you did, what you said about it just
happening on a Thursday. She knew that was his weekend. She knew he
was a jerk, and she knew he was gonna say no like you said,
she knew he was a jerk. You already knew he wasn't going to
agree to you keeping the kids on the very important weekend that was already his,
and you're not inviting him. I hear it. They may have had
family coming in out of town that was the best I get it. I
acknowledge all of that. However, Mom, in the story, you know,
we could have made some different decisions to avoid this outcome. It's not
your fault. I want to make sure I'm clear. I'm not blaming you.
But you gotta work with a jerk, and when you gotta work with
a jerk, you gotta you gotta be you know, elaborate with some of
your playing. You gotta be creative. The youngest kid is thirteen, so
you don't. You only have a half more decade to deal with him.
You'll be creative for five and more years. So Mom, that's that's our
tips for you, mum. But the graduation may have taken place already,
but you know, that's just something to help you out because you got two
more right back to back, you know. And for the listeners out there
who are in similar situations, just think about it. Doesn't have to be
your weight. You know, it's just a graduation party. Call them up.
Hey, I know we can't stay at each other because you know I
you know, I'm holding my good right now talking to you. But you
know we we're gonna have to work this out. Well, you made a
good point at the beginning our rather end of me reading that note from the
listener, and that was be proactive. You could have pre plans or so.
Considering that the majority of graduations are over now, some of you have
children who are going into twelfth grade this year or who will be graduating from
college, start making a plan. Now whatever count you live in, their
academic calendar has been posted. They have already told you what day graduation is
going to happen. Start making your plans. Now. That plan might be
there, you need to go ahead and go to court and have a judge
to say that you get the weekend after graduation, so you know in a
year you don't even have to deal with that. That plan may be that
you go ahead and put a down payment on an event center so that you
can be paying for it over the year, or that you and your ex
start doing some cold parent coordination now so that maybe you walk and get along
in the year, but also avoid the embarrassment. Yeah, ask the kid
what they want to because part of that is although they're eighteen and their prefrontal
cortex isn't fully developed, still you want to respect their boundaries in their autonomy.
And they may very well say I don't want that person there, or
I do want that person there, or they might say who because Harrison,
I can't tell you. I can tell you a few, but there are
so many similar issues that I saw in the past month, just from my
kid having friends or my friends having kids that are graduating. Where one the
child's mother lived with her mother, they always a multi generational house, nice
size house, those of their space. But when the child graduated, she
invited the mother invited her father to the graduation party at her mother's house,
and despite the fact that they've been divorced for thirty something year, Grandma was
like, absolutely not, and he can't come. And now that you've disrespected
my boundaries, you need to find you somewhere else to live in. The
mother's apparently right, because apparently you forgot whose house this is. She is
real nice about it, but she's like, look, it might be time
for us to go ahea and separate because you forgot whose house this is.
I've seen others where um, well, so for my child's graduation, you
had to have tickets to get in. So if you couldn't, if you
weren't getting along well enough with the mother to get a hold to the ticket
to get into the graduation, you did not get to watch your child walk
across the stage because I can't just show up. Yeah, yeah, I
was wondering that the dad attend the graduation, is what I was wondering.
All this hoopla over the party, you know, what about the damn graduation?
And so you bring up some good points. I like that plan in
advance, you know, and be creative with it. And also I'm also
familiar with talking with some clients, you know that when they're going through divorce
and they have to do a co parenting plan, custody agreement, you know.
I think the holidays visitation sometimes is a part of it. In birthdays,
you know, and who's going to have the kid. When it sounds
like we may need to negotiate graduation, you know, And that's something I
have never seen in there. But you can add whatever you want to to
your divorce order. Like you said, we see every holiday. Um,
we see random holidays that are in other people's things like Easter, we have
spring break, we have summertime. You could separate it up and put some
breaking in there. And I know couples who have done that, but I
never thought about including gradu Nobody thinks that far ahead when the child is five.
They aren't. Obviously, we see what can happen, you know.
So that's a note out to our listeners out there. So let's let's talk
about homeboy, you know, come on, let's talk about it. I
want to help the brother out. I do because I smell the pettiness.
I smell it. You you are not the man you were meant to be.
You know, if if you're creating these extra hoops to try to hurt
the mom your ex wife, whether you know, and involving the kids and
ruining this graduation ceremony, I don't know if you prepare for the consequences of
that. You know, the kid is graduating. You know, you're really
putting a wish between you two because of your behavior, trying to be selfish,
you know, and sabotage this whole thing for your kid. That's what
I want you to do. Really, look at yourself in the mirror,
you know, whatever you got, pull up your phone, whatever, and
ask yourself, is this the dad I want to be? Is this how
I want my kids to know me? Fighting with your two youngest children.
You're trying to punish the mother because of her not allowing you to come to
a graduation party, but you're actually punishing the two younger kids, who at
thirteen and sixteen, are going to remember this, that they couldn't be there
and that and they're not going to blame mom for not letting you come.
They're gonna blame you. At a minimum let them be there for a couple
of hours, and he may have already lost the eighteen year old senior who
just graduated. I think you lost her. Okay, The six teen year
olds is waiting for her chance or his chance, and depends on how close
the eighteen year old. It's with the other two siblings, you know,
because they're gonna take sides and they they're paying attention to this. That's that's
the party. It really surprised me the length that you're willing to go to
cause this much disruption for your kids. Why why can't you just making about
them? I would have even encouraged them. Hey, lay back, sit
back, let them have that party. You are not attended. Show your
kids what it's like to be a grown ass man who is secure and confident.
And then the following weekend you take them all out, you throw your
own party. He say he was going to have his own party? Can
your party not? Wait? Sorry, I don't know what outdoing that took
on the trip take them to Mexico. You should. You should have some
money saved up since you haven't been paid your child support, so take that
money and take them on a trip. But he could have made a lot
of a lot some some other decisions that would have been helpful with that,
you know, because he could have turned out to be the bigger person,
you know, like you said, and uh and shore appreciation for his kids.
Do something and they're gonna remember when they're older in age, you know,
do something and make them go. That's my daddy, you know,
he he he made sure. You know, my sister was taken care of,
you know, my mom's house and his house. You know, but
that's not that's not what happened, you know, you you may be painting
yourself into a corner. Uh, you know, pinning yourself into a corner
where they're considering you to be like a monster. You know, you're not
a friendly person. You're not going to help out. As a matter of
fact, when you step into the picture, you cause chaos, you know.
So so that's that's what I would want Homeboy to think about. You
know, the narrative that you're creating with your kids, there is an even
bigger narrative that he has created by trying to take custody of teen age children
unless they have requested to change households. Number one of judge is going to
take their opinion into account. They're going to say, do you want to
live with your mom and your dead thirteen and sixteen? Yeah, And this
is not helping, but it is like that is the biggest lap in the
face for you to try to take someone's children from them. And I almost
said to try to take a woman's children, But it's the same step in
the face when you try to try to keep a man from seeing his kids.
That's the biggest, the meanest thing you can do to somebody is to
try to take their children. And the steps that you take to do that
include oh, they're crazy, they need to take a psychological evaluation, and
or you bringing up everything they told you they did back when y'all were in
love and they told you about that time they went to jail when they were
twenty two, and you're bringing that up in court when somebody is forty six,
Like they do this get so ugly they do, and you end up
not getting what you want. All you've done is created chaos and in more
resentment and anger. Yeah, so I'm I'm I'm convinced you can do better
than this, you know, And you know, I encourage grown men to
be men, and I don't know if he was ever taught or he was
ever shown how to be a man, you know, to stand there so
that your kids will admire you and go to you when they need help.
They go to the mom's the mom too. But but you know, you're,
you're you're just demonstrating you're you're just as young as they are. You
know, you're you're no longer the cool parent. Yeah, he's not the
responsible, caring parent, you know. Uh, And I know you may
not have had a blueprint. I ran into those clients all the time,
they don't. They don't know, they don't have a clue. But at
this age, I'm assuming he's in his late forties. Two, it's time
to stop acting like a damn kid, you know. Two. What's best
for the kids, even if you got to take a hit, even if
you got to sit at home by yourself doing your kids graduation party planned the
next one next week, just like not the Asia said, I would rather
you do that. Be the hero that you were meant to be to your
kids. The marriage didn't work out twice, you know, and so you
don't have a good track record. Let's save your relationship. And I say
I didn't say that. Doctor Harrison said that. I'm in agreement. You
don't have it. May be nice about it, but I tell you the
truth, I'm just meaning about it. So you already have a lot going
on in your in your life. You are creating more drama in your life
by messing around with teenagers. You don't think a thirteen year round and sixteen
year old can run away from your house if they want to and behind that,
That's what I used to see all the time when I worked with teenagers.
Kids will just be like bed I know how to leave. I'll be
back. The police aren't going to look for me. I'll be back before
the police and do anything, and you'll just be mad about it. And
I dare you to try to hit me about it. You're That's what I've
seen parents so much. And they may do something and piss them off,
and they turn that phone on or that web cam and it's a live stream
and the world will see you as the monster and your kids set you up.
I have seen that. But brother, man, you have created this
environment. You you have created that type of environment where it would make them
feel comfortable doing something like that. I hope it's like that happened. I
man, I'm just thinking, like, how dare you think you're gonna insert
yourself into a graduation party after you try to get full custody of someone's kids?
Like staying down? Sir? Ye say to stay earlier, stand down?
So what does that sound like? What does that sound like? His
action? Um a five year old? Yeah, at the playground, I
take I take something from you, like I snatch your ball, and now
that you want your ball back, I'm gonna hit you. Yep, I'm
gonna fight you for one of your stuff. Yep, yep, yep.
So I'm gonna hit you. So he's the bully trying to make other people
mad because he's mad he can't have his way. Instead of taking a mature
route, I just want you to start to think about that path that you
on. There's another one out there. Let's let's not be that lot five
year on the playground. Now you're mad, you're gonna go hit somebody you
know, and storm off like a little kid. So that's that's what I
have to say about that. It's unfortunate. I wish these two could have
worked things out. I hope people listening are getting some good tips and ideas
and start planning. If this is you coming up and you already know that
your situation might look something like that, I go ahead to ivo avvo,
find you a good family court attorney and get you get some new information put
into your court order so you don't have these issues. And the challenge that
I have for parents out there who are co parenting and they're they're not with
the the kids of the parents, you know, consider taking a loss every
now and then, you know, regarding these celebrations. You know, if
it's not in that that that divorce decree. Um. I don't know how
you're gonna fight it, but I would rather you sit at home by yourself
that night and playing an amazing weekend the following weekend. You can always outdo
them. You don't have to fight them. Let them do what they do,
yeah, because it's all that you don't end up looking bad to the
kid, and then you just do your own thing and make it better.
Yeah. And to some of the women out there, I know the guys
are jerks, and I'm using a term so I don't have to. I
don't cuss, yeah, because there's some different words. I like you.
I know you you got one of those jerks though. You got with them,
you know, so they're yours, you know. But at the same
time, you're gonna have to work with them. You can't make them be
something that they're not. And if you know what to anticipate from them,
let's find a creative way to work around that so you can get the outcome
you want. Well, So there's a better way to say that. Because
I say you don't you don't have to work with them, I say,
you try your best to work with them, and when you can't, you
work around them, okay, but you get what you need such I would
love to work with you, but if you make that difficult for me,
I will work around you. Got you. Thank you so much. I
hope that that was a good topic. That one came through. I was
getting a little hot. Well that was uh so. I hope you guys
enjoyed that. And when I ask the thing that I came up last week,
uh anything you want to share with the audience about a less and that
you learn this past week, and you can go first, because I may
not have one. Yes, there is a lesson I learned this past week,
and that is pay attention to what's not said. People. I always
say, pay attention to what's said. This week I learned, pay attention
to what's not said. If you ask someone a three part question, then
they answer two parts of it, pay attention to why they didn't answer that
one part, and let that be your answer. Absolutely. I like that.
And this past week I also learned a lesson. It's an old one.
I have to continue reminding myself. You know, when things don't go
your way, you're trying to make something happen, just focus on you.
Don't even think about the other party or the other individuals you know, who
you were trying to do something with. Focus on you, and then you
eventually get what you want. But as long as you're thinking about people outside
of you, who don't even want to be in your circle or who are
not in your you have excluded them from the circle, then you're you're taking
the focus off union achieve even your goals. So that's that's what I gotta
say about that. I like it. I like that a lot. So
you guys, we've been talking tonight about co parenting, you know, and
and high school graduation. It's that time of the year and what do you
do when your expouse is a jerk? So we had a lively discussion about
it. I want to thank you guys from listening. You've been listening to
the two therapists on the microphone. I am doctor Harrison Davis and I'm doctor
Asia Dickerson. And we will see you guys next week Monday at seven o'clock
a m. See you then. I like that like that, like like
like it, like it lger like like that, like that, like that like