H m hm. Welcome to Laura Kane after dark. This is gonna be
a good one. Oh yeah, baby, this is finally the day of
our big Hideous TEAMU contest. Do you want to explain real quick what this
is? We're gonna do it in a little bit, but we are so
tonight. Ura unfortunately will be losing because I have the three greatest tackiest TEAMU
gifts for her to choose from. Yes, the goal was who can pick
the most hideous thing for the other and then who you guys are going to
decide who wins, who picked the most hideous thing off the team website,
and then whoever loses, We're going to figure out a punishment. I'm wicken
dinner. I'm thinking like it has to be public, and it has to
be somewhere where you would be like just humiliated. Well, somewhere would you
would be just ciliated. So you'll probably have to go to Walmart. Well,
actually, oh my god, yeah you totally would. Oh my god,
it would be the people of Walmart nostrum or something. You'll nods,
No, you will. I know you have to wear pajama. If it's
Laura, you have to wear pajamas. And then you have to wear a
shirt that says on the front, I used to be famous back it says,
now I used to that. Just don't cream or whatever it is your
your vulva cream. Can I tell you a shirt that I made or Antonio
made, which I think might be genius. What we had it made on
Amazon and it came the other day and all it says is it's brown and
in blue light blue letters. It says I cheated on Laura King. Now
here's the brilliance behind this. He wears this. People are gonna be like,
who's that Google Boom find our podcast? He's okay with that. Yes,
that was his idea? Is that that's advertising. That's the that's smart
advertise thing. You are smart? Oh, he's smart, got it?
I know it's pretty funny. Well, we'll have to hire him for our
publicity department, I know, right, I know. Anyway, Welcome to
the show. I would like to also welcome my friends soon to be your
friends. San Diego Crystals and Jewelry absolutely Newport in ob Now everything I am
wearing right now is from the store. This medallion, this crystal which is
moldovite, and the chain, this little chain which is gold and it has
our mother Mary on it, these gold earrings. They have so much variety
of jewelry and they have crystals. And if you go into their store one
which is opening on Prospect in La Joya on Friday, a grand opening,
the other one in ob On Newport, and you say I heard about you
guys on Hurricane after Dark, you get a free crystal. Oh nice,
So make sure you say that when you go in. They are the nicest
guys. They're brothers who run the store and they have the biggest variety.
And if you want to buy sage, you know how some people sage their
places or whatever. Yes, you can buy that there. It's just and
you can buy the nicest rings you've ever seen. You can buy an engagement
ring there. There's just it's a huge variety. Here's the fly here's a
lot like the crystals. Here's the flyer to their big grand opening party which
is on Friday on Prospect in La Joya. Welcome to the podcast. Thank
you so very much. Thank you guys. Somebody who has been with us
through thick and thin is somebody I admire so much, and that would be
mister j Wartsler from Capital Growth in Jay, we love you here and your
boy He's got his documents ready. I got my documents ready. Here's more
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member f I n R A SI PC. Capital Growth Inc. And Independent
Financial Group are unaffiliated entities. And Eric got probably the biggest compliment ever and
it's all because of La Joya Cosmetics. Please till the Oh my god,
I got a DM the other day and I have to look and find out
who it was. A young lady that watches our show and listens to us
said, have you had work done? You look so good? And that
is because he bought someone the best products available. I got the TNS,
I got the HA I got the retinal I got the eye bright I got
the moisturizer I got Oh my god, I got so much stuff and it
is amazing. We're talking about La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center and Spa and here's
more about them. Hi doctor, Hey guys, Hi everybody. We are
so thrilled to welcome our favorite place ever, La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center and
Medspot to the podcast. I've been seeing the doctors and injectors and estheticians there
for many years and I can't stop raving about their incredible service. I've been
so happy with my results. Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center and Medspa offers over ninety
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Thousands of five star reviews, flexible payment plans, free consultations. Go
to glamfam dot com for reviews, before and after photos, and their special
treatment planner. That's glamfam dot com. Okay, it's host chat time.
And before I get roll into my host chat, you're gonna freak out and
you're gonna be mad a little bit, but then you're not gonna be mad.
I want to give a shout out to Act to in La Mesa.
They are re sale shop. This is the top that I'm wearing. It's
a very thanks getting ish top. And I think they just moved locations,
didn't they Act too. Yeah, I think you might be right. Actually
yeah, I think they changed the well. I was just there, like
they may have already moved. They already moved. They've been there a while
in La Mesa, in the little town there. It's right next to the
dog rumor. Yeah, oh my god. They have the best stuff in
there, and it's all you know, it's secondhand, but it's all kind
of like designer stuff. Anyway, thank you guys, Acting Le Mesa.
Okay, here's my host chat. Okay, before. So I was having
As I told you on Tuesday when I was reading the letter to Matthew Perry,
I've kind of been in a tail spin a little bit. I haven't
I haven't relapsed or anything, but you know, I mentally I was heading
down a bad path. Okay. So the answer for me is to start
going back to my program, which I have. But before I realized duh,
that's what I was missing in my life, I thought, oh,
that tarot card reader from Rosario. I'm going to give her a call.
What a genius idea. That's what I have done, because then I'm going
to figure out my future and what's going on in my life and why I'm
struggling and what everything blah blah blah blah blah blah. Okay. Her name
is Veronica. If you want her information, she's really great. She's very
uh. She tells it like it is. She just reads the cards and
says what she sees. Okay. And then she gave me some things to
do, and you're going to die when I tell you what she told me
to do. And you know what I to me, It's like, what's
the harm. I'm not hurting anybody doing any of these things she told me
to do. The fact that you have to preface that makes me wonder,
I know, because it's really kind of weird. First of all, this
isn't the weird part. She said that I'm going through a nine year I
have a nine year hardship. And it's true because since twenty seventeen when we
were laid off the Jeff and Jerry Show was laid off, it's been hard
for me. And that's almost now nine years that we're coming on that.
She says, from birthday to birthday, which is May, things are going
to start picking up for me and looking good. Okay, so that's still
two years ago. Well, she just I gotta sign on for the show
for another two years for it things started going well, well whatever, No,
no, she said, from birthday to birthday, things are looking up,
and two men, two very important men are going to be mentoring me
and helping me. Oh well, that's that's Brian and I exactly. I
did not picture you too. I was picturing guys in suits with like a
ton of money. We are underappreciated there. But she goes, I want
you to do. I think this is what you should do, and it
works. Then it helps. Go to Northgate, one of the Mexican markets,
and you can buy candles there. You know how they have those religious
candles. You can buy them for very inexpensively at those stores. So those
are the candles over there. She goes, get a green candle because that
represents money, and then write on pieces of paper what your intentions are,
what you want, put them under the green candle. And I was supposed
to do this because we had a moon eclipse on Friday and Saturday. Ah,
you forgot No, I did. I did all this stuff and then
I got a love candle, which is red, and I got a white
candle for the podcast for that's for inspiration and for positivity. And so I
got the three candles and I put little notes under each candle. She probably
has affiliate link with the candle shop. Okay. She also said to light
sweet smelling incense because that attracts money. I'm like, hey, I'll do
anything at this point in sense, big deal. So I did that.
Then she said, she goes, have there been people that have been bothering
you or that you want them to leave you alone? Eric, Well,
here's where it comes into the picture. She goes, do this. You
write their name in red on a piece of paper. You put the paper
in a plastic bag, put water in it, and stick them in the
freezer. I swear to God this works. So you were in the freezer
for like three days. She froze you, damn because we got into that
fight. But your you're out of the freezer now. I took you out.
I took you out of the freezer. Eric, you know the timing
on that I took you out of the freezer. You're not the freezer.
I think you're not. You're not. I took you out. No,
I just did. I just you know why I did that? Not because
I didn't want him to just right after you did. That's a good point.
You are waging uh magic or spiritual war. No what I wanted.
I just didn't want to hear it anymore. And I know this is an
inside thing. But you know what I'm talking. We've talked about, we've
talked to This picture is going to be in my freezer. So there are
just a few people in my freezer, just a few, because there's not
really anybody in your freezer. Among the dead animals that are in your freezer.
No more there's no animals, so there's two. I can bring you
something to put in your freezer. No pets, roadkill, No, I
would put pets in my freezer. Oh I know who's in your freezer.
Is there something still in your freezer? An animal? No, no,
just the names, just the people that I'm freezing, as long as I'm
not there. Then she said this, She goes, if you want not
the word doesn't dominate somebody, but if you want to have control or maybe
a little bit more power over someone that's uh, that's bothering you or that's
that's causing issues for you. She goes, this is gonna sound weird,
but it works. Print out their picture and pee on them and then flush
them down the toilet. And she said, I peed on four people.
No no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no no. You guys are not any part of this at all.
You were a little bit in the freezer, just for only I think
only a day. Honestly, I wonder which day it was. You know
which day it was? It was that day it really was, Brian,
that's crazy. I know, the implication disturbing. Don't be mad now,
I'm mad all over yet I know I should be mad now, I would
be mad now he's out of the freezer. It's too late. The damage
has been done in that freezer yet. But she said, then if you
want to take it to a whole nother level, which I haven't done and
I won't do, she said, if somebody has been shitty, team m
hm, and you just want to like a picture of them, No,
you just wipe your butt with the picture paper cut. I didn't do that.
I'm not I'm not going to that one. Yeah. I did all
the other things, and so far, so far the freezer has worked.
Yeah, it did all too well. And with the other two people,
so far it's worked. And bothering you, no, bother No. The
people I've feed on, I haven't. Let me preface this. If you're
just tuning in, Laura is not peeing on people like I can't believe.
I'm really like, she's not like Laura Kane Golden Shower mistress, and like
I'm not a woman or a witch or anything. I'm just like, look,
what's the harm. I'm not hurting anybody. This is not to cause
harm to them. It's no, it's not. It's just to be more
to them. It felt great probably had three individuals or was it four?
Oh, it was three individuals and a company, So you're just what company.
I can't say was it. I'm not going to say. So,
you're just openly practicing witchcraft. No, I'm not. I am not because
I I'm not wishing ill. I'm not like sticking pins and a voodoo doll.
I'm not doing any of that. What's the harm in like lighting candles,
putting intentions out there and trying to have people leave you alone, and
putting people in the freezer and pisting on them and maybe using the miss toilet
paper sounds sounds like some sort of a crazy sexy kink thing. The peeing
thing was a little I want a little This is going to turn into a
kink for her? It is. No, I don't be on me.
No, you've heard of angry sex. Get ready for angry people. I
will never do that to you because I don't want to have control of reason.
I don't. I would not or you. This is well, that's
really the reason. I'll tell you after the podcast, all right, so
then you'll understand I'm not worried by the way if you were to pee or
ship or put me in the freezer. I know you. You wouldn't give
two ships. You wouldn't care. You literally wouldn't, but I wouldn't.
You don't. You don't pose any harm or threat or I don't. I'm
not bothered by you in any way, shape or form, So why would
I do that? Let's change that? Then the show. Other people are
oh my god, as evidenced by some dms recently. But what No,
I sent them to you. Oh yeah, you need to tell me about
this after the show. No, you, I sent them to you too.
They were like a couple weeks ago the dance. Oh and I'm also
supposed to shower with coconut water because that's supposed to that's just good for you.
And she said that also the sweetness attracts money. Oh what's the harm?
Why not? Right now she'll be spending like forty dollars a year on
coconut water because they come in those little teeny tiny things. No, anyway,
she is charges I think two dollars a minute, and I did like
fifteen minutes and I got a lot out of it. So anyway, if
you want her information, just DM me. And that's why I was shut
and I'm not a witch, and I just had to tell you guys that,
and I apologize for putting you in the freezer that day. I was
very cold that day. I know you didn't come to the Haunta trail with
us. Brian's right. That was my fault. That was my fault because
you frozen. You couldn't. You couldn't physically get there, couldn't. I
was completely immobile. All right. Anyway, No, I'm uncomfortable. What's
your host chat? Well, Laura Kane, your lucky day. Oh,
I'm gonna do a little episode of make Laura laugh. Oh got flat line?
I have? You know, I have ones I could throw on here
if yours don't work. This one I've never heard before, and it's awesome.
When are you guys going to realize that this doesn't work for me?
Anyways? Anyway? Okay, Laura Kane look me in the eyes. Okay,
what do you call a guy who doesn't fart in public? Polite?
Private tutor? That is? Yeah, that didn't do it for me,
private tutor that it's too simple. Yes, it's simplistic and dad jokey even
to the lowest level. Guess who's getting frozen when I get home? Is
it the only one you had? Okay, I've got one, then go
for it. Okay, what do anyways? What do a Christmas tree and
a priest have in common? Christmas? Their balls are just for decoration.
We got it, We got it. That was good. It was a
bravo. I've got one more too. Oh please, I just heard this
one, Laura, Okay, right now, well earlier today, and the
man was tight roping across two very tall skyscrapers in New York. At the
same time, exactly the same time, across the world, a man was
getting uh some some pleasure we'll just say, a blowjob from a seventy six
year old woman. And for one moment in the entire history of the universe,
they had the same exact thought at the same exact time. You know
what that thought was. I don't even know. Oh God, don't look
down. Come on, come on, come on. Wow, pretty good
one. Okay, I do have one more. Holy Cow, Brian,
you're gonna love this one. Torture. So three blind nuns go into a
liquor store. As they're walking in, a streaker comes out and he's so
shocked to see the three nuns that he holds up his hands, and the
first nun walks up to him and puts a corner in his mouth, pulls
his dick and he drops something. Second nun does it, third nun does
it. They he runs off. They go around the corner and they sit
on a bench and the first nun says, I got gum? What did
you get? And the second nun says, I got a pack of cigarettes?
What did you get? And the third nun says, hand cream.
Oh god, it's truly good. I knew I knew where that was going.
I mean, come on, from like five miles away. Ki't deny.
You laughed at both of my the first one especially. I will give
you one, only the half because you were about to laugh and then you
cinched it and then you stopped. But I was, I was getting it.
Oh my goodness, you did get You got me, got me one
time. It's very rare, but you got me. Okay, I am
the biz a props. Well, we have a big contest. But Brian
has something before the big contest, which is it'll be fast. Okay.
Three recommendations. Two of them are movies I saw this week. One was
I finally got around to watching Talk to me. Oh, it is a
good Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic. It's not as scary as you
might expect. Not to say it's not a horror movie, but it's not
the hand. Yeah, it is good though, story is good. It's
actually one of the few movies, and I feel like in a while horror
movies that actually had a sad ending. Is it? I watched it on
it was on Prime, it wasn't it wasn't free though I'd pay like five
bucks for it. But it is good, it is worth watching. And
then this weekend, no day was it? Yeah, Saturday, I went
and saw five nights of Freddy's in the theaters. Oh, no, it's
pretty good. Is that a Freddy Krueger thing? No, it's based on
a video game. Yeah, it's basically it was PG thirteen. Yeah,
it definitely what video game it's called. You've never would have heard of it.
It was like a cultural phenomenon when I was fourteen or something. Oh,
but it's become a massive franchise. It's good though it's it could definitely
be a little more scary and there could be a little more horror, but
there's a ton of story and lore that they are trying to fit into it,
but it is good. I would recommend it. It's on Peacock too,
so you have Peacock you can watch it free. But I saw on
theaters and it's good. It's worth the watch. Even if it's not your
thing, it's worth the watch. Okay. Josh Hutchinson's in it. He
hasn't been anything for a while, so it's fun to see him act again.
Also, Matthew Lillard is his name, Matthew I like, yeah,
he was Scooby Do Scream and Scooby Doo. Yeah, he's in it.
He's fantastic. He's not in very much of it, but his limited screen
time is fantastic. So how do you recommend? Also, it's just it's
one of Blumhouses more technically really impressive movies that they've pulled off. Anyways,
last thing I have is a book called House of Leaves. I just started
reading it, and it's an experimental horror novel. It's like seven hundred pages,
but most of the is actually because it experiments with the formatting, so
some words only have like one or some page only had like one word on
it. Anyways, it's about this, It's about a document it's about a
academic paper about a documentary that doesn't exist, about this house that constantly changes.
The interior changes while the outside always you know, stays the same,
and the house, the house inside is bigger than it is outside. Anyways,
it's a wild to read, but super good. I would recommend checking
out. You're looking for a good read before you go to bed? Do
you read? I have to be careful because reading, surprisingly one of those
things will keep me up till like three am. Oh really it does.
The Oh yeah I will. I can. If I find a good book,
I can read till very late. Me too. Oh wow, this
is a good book. So okay, recommend it? All right, Well,
thank you, excellent, thank you, Brian. Of course, Well
are you ready lose? First of all, we should show what we got
each other that was decent. Yes, okay, So Laura got me this
don't be a salty bridge. That was probably before she put me in the
freezer. It was way before our fight. And then Eric got me these,
which have the Louis Bitton little like a little not logo but matter medallion.
God think o they're fake? No, those are real. I actually
got this for her at the Levitans I hope are hideous. Hey, I'm
sorry, I look I look freaking famous in these. No, don't,
okay, Eric? And ironically, do you think those look good? I
do? Now I have a wide nose bridge, So sometimes sunglasses ride high?
Are did these ride too high? They're just too They're supposed to be
big. That's the point. A little bitter. It's still not good,
though. I think I think they look terrible. But that's all right.
I think they look great on you. Thank you, You're welcome, you're
not what do you like a little round? Oh? I wear wayfinders?
Wayfinders? Are those? Are those ray bands? Yeah? Okay, yeah,
those are fine? What ladies first? Would you like to go?
All? Right? Now, how are we gonna do this? Are we
gonna like we we'll reveal one one one one one? Okay, you want
me to go first? Then? Now go first? Okay, I need
a piece of paper, So come on, freezer girl. Let that go
where you can be freezer girl and Eric will be frozen boy. Yeah,
exactly, we're gonna be frozen. Part three. What I have a red
pen with your name. That's tiny, I'll piss on it. Are you?
Oh my god? You have to close my eyes. Okay, I'm
gonna be I'm just gonna like overreact, just so you get a little freaked
out. She did not. Oh no she didn't. Oh no, that
is hideous. Oh no she didn't. Okay, okay, Now I know
you love to take care of your teeth. Oh no, I know you
love dogs. Mm hmmm. So this is your new toothpaste because I almost
got this for her. This is how the toothpaste comes out. This is
how you're gonna put toothpaste on your that's pretty good toothbrush. Okay, there
you go, well dog, but anyway, I needed to I needed to
show how hideous it actually is. So that's yours, and you even get
to keep the cheese paste you walk up. Okay, okay, so that's
your first hideous stupid thing, Laura Kane. I would like you to hold
out your hand. Oh my god's that spider? Stop it? Tell me
when to open my eyes. Open your eyes. Okay. They're ear rings.
They're they are a rose gold, I see that all I release.
They're small. M h well, you know you have dainty little ears.
Okay, let me let me put them on my hand. Yes, how't
you to get a close. They're little tiny sperms. That's gross. That's
cute. They're actually kind of cute. Actually wear the Yeah, that's what
I'm about. I'm not embarrassed by these. So this is just our first
volley. Is our first volley. Okay, So thank you for the sperm
earrings, and you're welcome for the dog but yes, thank you. Now
my second hideous thing for Eric, which he will have to parade around in
hopefully I know, sweatshirt. I just got you one and you're wearing it.
You love it? Yes, Well, here's your new one. Hold
it up. You're gonna wear that? And is it the right way?
God? Absolutely hideous? Isn't that so precious? Two dolphins kissing under the
moonlight? Yeah, it's very, very really okay, so that will be
going on your body with two? Doesn't it small? Terrible? I don't
know out of Oh my god, but isn't that precious? Oh? There
were so many clothes I wanted to get you, Laura Kane. Oh no,
my last Okay, as as I won't have to wear this in public?
Do I have to close my eyes? Okay? Do I have to
put my hand out? Yes? You do? I hope you wear this
to it the fancy it. I'll take you to a very fancy dinner,
okay, and I expect that you would wear this. It's another piece of
jewelry. It looks like it's silver. Yes, I know how you like
your jewelry. Okay, and it is. It's got wait toilet paper roll.
It's toilet paper roll. That's kind of cute actually in a weird six
way. She's liking everything you're pulling. I know this is bad, but
guess what, Eric my third volley. You're done, dude. You haven't
seen mine. Come on, you guys talk a lot. She hasn't seen
mine. You need to close your eyes. Hit me. You need to
close your eyes. And I'm wondering if you know. I'll just place it
in front of you. Okay. You sometimes carry a man bag. H
okay, Well I have a new man bag for you, and it's it's
hands free. Oh no, there you go. There's your new fanny pack.
It's got hair on it and everything. You're going to carry, all
your your phone in here. You're all your freshous, your money. Let
your shirt sit on top of it. Yeah, yeah, there you go,
put it on, make it. Yeah, there's the belly button in
the hair. I had to get the one with the hair. Oh my
god, yes, oh this is amazing. That is the worst thing I've
ever seen. It so disgusting. It is disgusting. Look at the belly
button. It's like black, so griss it's probably got lint in it.
It does look like it has lint in it. So anyway, I think
I won. But there's one more thing. Hold out your hands. Oh
god, I cannot wait to see you wear this in public. Now,
mind you, Since everything I got you is to wear, I'm hoping that
you wear all three at the same time. No, that's you, that's
the that is the plant. Yes, oh it's bigger then, yes,
open your eyes. Okay, these look like socks. Perhaps, well,
I know how you like your your tights. Oh they're maybe tights. Okay,
I can't even tell what the pattern is, but they're okay, they're
saw long sock. Oh, I like long sock chicken. See, Oh
my god, you are gonna look so sexy. Look at that. Look
at that. Oh my god, these these are horrid. I love them
though. That is hysterical. Okay, oh my god. So now,
Brian, in your opinion, in your opinion, and don't be fair,
don't be be fair. I don't know. The fanny peck's good. The
jacket, the jacket's cringey, but it's not like that embarrassing, Like if
I saw that in public, I go loser. But whatever. The fanny
pack is something like a dad would wear. Who thinks it's funny. Chicken
legs though, I don't know. I wouldn't see that anywhere else, maybe
except Halloween. I don't know. I'm gonna have to abstain from this,
okay, because I don't think any of your guys where things are truly horrendous.
Oh, we might just have to have a part too, Yeah,
we will, because you know why Christmas is coming. We'll do it again
Christmas time. Oh, Christmas is coming. These were good though, there
because I kept finding things after the fact. And I'm sure you did.
Oh I did too. I've already got in my cart me too. Oh
for you, Oh I have one for you? Was good though. And
chicken legs okay, So what we're gonna do is we're gonna put a pole
is up on the website Laura Kane after dark dot com. And so I
think we should do is when the show's over, we'll take a picture of
the three items like I either, and then the three items you got me?
Maybe what we should do. Yeah, we'll do that, okay,
and then you guys vote, and then after the next week we'll see who
you guys think wins, and then we will wear them in public. I
think we should his head up to Vaughan's and walk around the store. I
think so too. I think I think maybe I'll take Laura's shopping with me
and Fashion Valley, Oh, Fashion Valley. Oh, no, oh my
god, on a Saturday. Yes, I'm down. You're doing the same
thing. If you lose, You're going to Armani Exchange. You're going into
you guys have going to Louis Vuitton store too. Oh for that, Fanny
pet Oh, yeah, you are going. You're gonna You're gonna go into
the Louis Vuitton store and pretend like you're a true customer. Why do you
say that You're going to go? Well, no, you're gonna ask questions
like I'm a fake customer. No, I'll hold on, let me get
my wallet out of my exactly. You're gonna do that, okay, oh
my god, all right, trust me anyway, I'm sorry, but that
sweatshirt is the most hideous thing I've ever seen. It's just cringey. I
know it stinks for that it smells suck so chemically, I know. I
just I had to pack it so it made it, you know, look
better. We will end on a few Well, what time is it?
Do we need to end this part? Do we need to end right now?
We don't need to end, but we can go a couple of minutes.
How about I found some you know, I know you guys love playing
the question game and I love playing the question game too, And I found
something. Oh that's not for you, it's for Antonio. He collects these
like poker chips. Oops, he was missing one. I didn't know where
it was. Thank you, You're welcome. Okay, I will read the
questions, then we go around the room. Let's do three of them.
Okay, where is the strange well, where is the strangest place you've ever
put your finger? Give it a little thought up my own butt. I'm
just kidding. Have you ever done that? No? Well, I wouldn't
judge you if you did. I mean, I've cleaned up there, but
I haven't like gone and like you know, like, really, I haven't
put anything the threshold threshold right right, Well, it's not strange. You
remember those you know, those finger things that you put your traps. I
was trapped in one of those for a very long time and it scared the
hell out of me when I was a kid. My god, I don't
want to ask Eric, Eric, do we need to know? I want
to know where where's the weirdest thing I've put my finger? Huh? Probably
in my nose? Noah, No, I don't even want to know the
truth. Oh I put my finger up of somebody else's nose and picked a
booger one time. Yeah, I I haven't really put Oh well, yeah,
I have exactly what always makes you irrationally angry? Oh I have one?
I have one. I have several. I'm I'm sure you do.
And when I was pregnant with Evan, I was. It was completely irrational.
But I hated pedestrians. I don't know, like I couldn't deal like
they would. Just was infuriated by pedestrians, car, loser stuff, walking,
I don't I mean. And now what infuriates me are these bicyclists who
claim the whole entire street there's a lane for you, don't right in front
of me. That's irrational. What about you people that talk on their cell
phones too loud? That's not really that irrational. Its like you are an
the fender of this. No, no, very quietly on my phone.
I do not. Let me tell you something. I was talking to him
for three hours last night. Uh huh. He had, he ordered,
he went, he went through the whole grocery store, went through the check
out. Everything on the phone with me, I believe it. And then
I got home and put away all his groceries, put away by grasses,
and made dinner and was still talking to you. Oh my god, what
about you? What makes you irrationally angry? Uh? I gotta wipe the
toothpaste off my fingers. I know, like gross incompetence. It's gonna sound
bad, but it's like stupid people. No, but not just like,
oh, you're so stupid. It's people who are like you. Sometimes you
wonder it's like how have you existed so far? Like how have you made
it this far? Like how do you pay your bills? Like how do
you function? Yeah? I can relate to that one of those things.
How Eric, Well, let me see where do you go? Oh god,
there's so many good ones. But what is something you enjoy but most
people don't? Wine? Is gross? Something I enjoy but most people don't.
Cleaning? Oh you do love it? Oh I love cleaning? Oh
my god, Yes, I really like the smell of cigarette smoke. Oh
my god, that's weird. You are a freek I know, I know
it's wrong and tear. I can't help it. What's something you enjoy that
most people don't? I don't know, huffing gasoline? Maybe I'm just kidding.
I don't know, though. Is there like a food that you like
that most people don't like? Or the weirdest food I like that? I
know it's controversial. I like blue cheese, But that's love. That's not
that weird. That isn't that weird. I mean that's like, you know,
I don't know something I like, something you enjoy that most people don't
like. Oh, candy corn. I like candy corn. Now I don't
love candy corn, and I can only have a couple pieces at a time
before it gets too much. But I do enjoy candy corn. Do you
eat them in thirds? Like little top piece, than the orange piece,
than the yellow piece or do you eat the whole thing at once? When
I eat candy corn, I know, but I eat the white little white
piece first, and then I eat the orange part and then I eat yellow
hearty. No, I just eat them all like whole. No, I
don't do. I am weird. And you know what I'm addicted to right
now? You know how I get addicted to foods and I have to have
it every day, Like my gummy beer thing, which is done. And
guess who needs a root canal? Now me because of the gummy bear shocker.
I know, I'm it's you know what I'm doing the day before Thanksgiving?
What? Getting a colonoscopy? Oh my god, are you kidding me?
A turkey's gonna fly out of you? Oh my god? Have you
ever had? Yes? And I woke up halfway through me too. I
woke up halfway through Scared Ship the Differences. Eric woke up. He's like,
oh this is nice, and I'm like, I thought I thought I
was going home in a tunnel. Oh my god, And then I just
realized I was looking at my own butthole. I said. I was like,
I'm awake, I'm awake, And then like, give her some Benda
droll. I'm like, Benda drill. What are you knock me out?
Anyway? So don't throw these away? Oh no, no, no,
what was I going to say? What was what? Do you love me?
No? I don't know. Oh my god. Okay, so you're
not going to put me in the freezer again, Mommy, I promise.
And I had to complain to you. I had to complain. I'm glad
you did. Okay, I know you're mad at me. All right,
Well, I think you should put I think for science, you should put
her name in the freezer, just to see if like all similar reactions.
But you need me right now. I think we can spare you for a
there two. I can put you in for a day. Yeah, I
just want to see if something knocks you off the board for you know that
day. What do I have to do? Write your name in read on
a white piece of paper, put it in a ziploc bag, fill it
with water, and put it in the freezer. That takes a lot of
time. It does put you in. Feer you're going to put some people
in. I'll put you in the phone. I know who I'm putting in
the phone. I know. I'm excited I'll put both you in the freezer
and we'll see if we come back next month. No, do not jeopardize
this phone show next. All that white candle is all good things about this
podcast. When you think is stronger your candle are my ice bags? Because
you have a tinge of evil in you, I think you're a tinge of
darkness. We're looking for is a tinge of a joker card, a wild
card. You can joker because it's a mess right now. I think I
got it. The Dollar Tree, it's probably not the best tooth based in
the world. It's coldgate. Well, you know what, The doll Tree
has some good stuff sometimes. Yes, I'm gonna put my sunglasses on.
Thank you to our sponsors, especially our new one. Thank you San Diego
Crystals and Jewelryobi and Friday Cosmetics, met SPA. Love you guys, Thank
you for supporting this podcast. Make sure you vote on lauragain after dark dot
call oh yes, and we will reveal who won the Big Hideous tu contest
next Thursday. Absolutely And with that vote, vote, vote, vote,
vote, vote love your podcast. I love you. Do you still okay?
Good? I was a worried you put baby in the corner for a
hot she put baby in the freezer cold second. Well, if you're both
of you right now, so I'll let you know, don't do that to
us. Well, what did you do here? What's happened? Oh my
god? She already lost the necklace. No I didn't, it's over there.
Don't worry. I don't lose Suprise, you are wearing it all.
Relax, you go. I love you, my sweet babies. Bye bye