The law of the mirror. Monica will see a housewife who will be forty
- one. I was worried. Her five- grade primary son Cori is
mistreated at school by his classmates. Even if he says he' s being
mistreated, it seems they can' t beat him. The most common thing
is that the companions ignore him or that they accuse him of any problems that
arise. They don' t mistreat me. Cori insists, but it hurts
Monica' s soul to see her son so alone and sad. Cori likes
baseball, but his teammates don' t invite him to play, so when
he gets back from school, he goes to the park alone to play ball
against the wall. About two years ago there was a time when Cori played
baseball with friends. During that time, Monica had seen him play in the
school yard back from shopping. But Cori made a mistake during a game and
they blamed him a lot. The teammates accused him with no mercy. Your
reflexes are too slow because of you. We' ve lost three points.
If we lose it' s your fault Monica thought. It is true that
Corin' s sports skills are not excellent, but he also has his virtues
with the good boy, which is what most. The hurt was that they
didn' t give any value to their son' s virtues and it was
very hard for him to see how Coria endured the terrible comments of teammates while
she apologized with a smile. From that incident, they stopped inviting him to
play baseball. You can' t play with us because you' re making
us lose, they said. It seems that for Cori the hardest thing was
that he would never be invited to play baseball anymore. And in addition,
this was noted in a considerable increase in bad faces and confrontations with Monica.
But Cori didn' t want to talk to her mother about her problems or
loneliness. He insisted on me. I don' t have a problem.
For Monica, the hardest thing was that Corin didn' t open her heart.
Even if she tried to teach him the right way to relate to friends,
he would just tell her not to give me the can. Leave me
alone. The next morning, Monica decided she' d call someone. I
' d call Metti, an acquaintance of your husband' s. Monica had
never spoken to Metty, but she had the business card she had given her.
Her husband, Netti, had practiced staying in the same gym as her
husband. During the high school years they happened to meet on the street after
twenty years without seeing each other for a long time, so they were very
excited and decided to enter a cafeteria, where they were chatting for several hours.
Metti works as a company consultant. According to her husband, Metti knows
a lot about psychology and is very good at solving business and personal problems.
Looks like her husband told him about Cor' s problems and said maybe he
could help you and passed him his card. That day, her husband gave
her the card while saying if you want to call him. I' ve
already told you a little bit about it. Why do I have to talk
to someone I don' t know? It' s not better for you
to ask for advice, I' m the one I' m worried about.
You spend the day worrying about Cori, so I told Metti and when
she suggested changing schools, she replied if you change me I will never forgive
you. Monica felt useless and miserable when she thought she could do nothing to
solve her son' s problems. The day after school, Cory went to
the park, as usual, but returned immediately and in a very bad mood.
Even if I asked him what had happened, he would answer nothing.
The mystery was soon solved by a phone call. That night, a friend
of mine from the neighborhood called him Monica told you something Cori said about not
being. This afternoon I went to the swings with my son, Cori arrived
and as always, he started playing ball against the wall Then came seven or
eight children of his class and shouted out that we' re going to play
baseball and annoying and one of them has hit him with the ball. Cori
left right away. I' m so sorry because I couldn' t do
anything. Monica was amazed why she didn' t tell me anything. He
was very sad that I didn' t tell him anything. Despite having such
an unpleasant experience that night, he had no encouragement or attempt to make his
son speak again. What do you mean, I have a problem. It
' s natural she' s worried. I' m his mother. You
spend the day in the truck and this is why you' re so calm.
I' m the one who' s really educating coris You don'
t even want to share the concern with me. I have no intention of
talking to this man. I' m sure you have no idea how to
educate a child. Then Monica threw the card on the table. A week
later, Monica was completely sunk and ready to grab a nail. Burning.
The night before I got the friend' s call. Telling what had happened
in the park, I' m sick of suffering. I need help,
whoever it is. He thought and soon remembered Metti. Luckily, he found
his card about an hour after he left Coria for school, took courage and
called him. At that time Monica could not even imagine everything that was about
to happen that day, the receptionist answered and immediately passed to Mr Metti,
although Monica had only left her name. Mett' s voice on the phone
wasn' t very nice and that made him doubt. It' s enough
for me to tell you my problems. He didn' t know what to
say, but then Metti started talking. You' re not the woman of
vera. Yeah, so it' s nice to meet you MMM. My
husband already told you. No, I don' t. He told me
a little bit. He told me you' re worried about your son.
It' s okay with you. If I tell you, I have about
an hour off, so if you want, you can tell me now.
Monica briefly explained that her son was abused, ignored, and also what had
happened the day before, after listening to her, Metty told her this is
hard enough for a mother. There' s nothing worse. Right. When
Monica heard this, her eyes were filled with tears. Meetti realized that Monica
was crying, so he waited for her to calm down to say Monica if
she really wanted to fix it. Then it is possible to find a way
out, leading to the solution. Monica couldn' t believe finding a way
out. She' d been trying for years. Still, I strongly wished
Metti' s words to be true. I' m willing to do anything
to fix it. I' m determined what to do. Well, here
' s what we' re looking for. First, what is clear is
that you have a grudge towards someone who is Next to you how do you
mean? Maybe he' s going too fast. I' d better explain
the theory, but in that case I need time and now I don'
t have it. So I' ll start explaining it to you from the
bottom line. What I' m going to tell you now has theoretical foundations.
Then I' ll pass you some books you can consult. Well,
the conclusion that the fact that you are concerned because your beloved child is being
blamed by another is because you don’ t thank someone for what you should
thank and that they also continue to blame you. What a relationship my son
' s abuse at school has with my personal situation. To me, all
this sounds a little bit like religion. It' s not uncommon for me
to think that way. After all. What they teach us at school always
focuses on physical science, what can be seen with the eyes. I'
m talking about a law discovered in psychology a few years ago. Perhaps it
' s easier for you to understand it if you think it' s the
same as in many religions, although I don' t believe in any religion,
tell me this law of psychology. The events that occur in reality are
the result. Each result always has a cause and this cause is within it.
That is, you must know that the reality of your life is the
mirror that reflects your interior. For example, when you look in the mirror
you realize that I' ve gone down or today I have a bad color.
True, without a mirror one cannot see oneself. Consider that life is
like a mirror. Thanks to the mirror, which is life, we can
realize the person himself and have the opportunity to change. Life. It'
s made to allow us to develop as far as we can. What my
concerns about me reflect the result of what is happening to you is my dear
son, you have problems because someone blames you. One possible cause is that
you' re blaming someone you should love. It is not true that you
blame someone, someone close to you, to whom you should be grateful for
something, for example, how about the closest person your husband. I am
grateful to my husband for his work as a truck driver. We can eat
This is very important. So, you value your husband very much. He
respects Monica. He was surprised to hear the word respect for some time.
Sometimes Amónica despised him, her husband, optimistic in character, found him unsensitive.
Besides, I found him inconceivable. She had graduated from college, while
her husband had only finished high school. Not only that, but he also
spoke rough and only read magazines. Monica, whose hobby was reading, thought
she didn' t want Cori to be like her father, and this she
also told Mr Metti. You believe that a person' s value depends on
his education, knowledge, and sensitivity. I don' t think so.
I think everyone has their strengths and abilities. Then why should it be that
when it comes to her husband, he despises him from his lack of education.
MMM. I' m contradicting the truth about the relationship with your husband.
The things he does and says make me crazy. We even fight sometimes.
And about the problem with Cori, how' s she doing with her
husband? I' m sorry to my husband about Cori' s abuse at
school. But whatever you say, I don' t think that' s
right. In fact, we haven' t discussed it seriously yet. I
' m afraid my husband is the kind of person I find it hard to
accept. I understand, I think there' s another cause that' s
fundamental. Before getting her to accept her husband, it will be necessary to
solve a fundamental cause. Yes, first of all, we need to find
the basic cause that prevents her from accepting her husband. Allow me to ask
you you are grateful to your father. To my father, of course,
I' m grateful, but deep down he doesn' t feel I can
' t forgive him. Amonic that I can' t forgive him. The
impact thought in fact, maybe I haven' t forgiven my father yet.
As her father, she was grateful to him, but she couldn' t
get him to like her. Since he married, he spent every year the
end of the year and summer holidays with his parents’ family. However,
the only conversation he used to have with his father was the four words of
greeting when he arrived and left. On second thought, since he entered high
school, he only treated his father like he was a stranger. I don
' t think I' ve forgiven my father, and I' m not
sure I can. I see you don' t seem to be able to
forgive him yet you still want to, at least try. It is truly
true that the cause of my concerns is related to my father and my husband.
I think you' ll see this when you try. All right,
tell me what I have to do very well. Do what I' m
going to tell you first. Write on a paper all that about your father,
which makes you feel that you cannot forgive him. Write everything you want,
even if it' s a text full of anger. He can write
even I can' t stand it, asshole, idiot, etcetera. If
you remember an incident, write it down and add it. Also, at
that time I felt like writing down everything I hurt and couldn’ t stand.
Write mercilessly, express your feelings. Write until you feel satisfied. When
you think that' s enough, call me. I' ll give you
my cell phone number, too. Monica doubted that it would solve the problems
of cori, but thought it was better to try than to hesitate and do
nothing. He thought if it' s any good to fix the problem,
I' ll do anything. Moreover, while he did not understand the basis
for what Metti was saying, he perceived a strange convincing power. Monica hung
up the phone, picked up a sheet of paper, and started writing everything
she could think of about her father. When I was little, my father
always criticized him. Everything. Dinner time often became the time for sermons.
Besides, he was a father who quickly got angry about everything and screamed when
we didn' t do what he expected. I often thought that my father
had no interest in what I felt I could not stand when complaining about work.
After drinking, my father was the construction manager of a construction company and
was returning home in dirty clothes of earth and mud and Greek. He often
sat down to eat without changing clothes and I didn' t like this either.
Monica continued writing. When he realized he had already written many words strong
enough towards his father, not hand as father you are an incompetent, etcetera.
He also remembered a certain incident in high school. When I was in
high school on a Sunday, I went out with a guy in class on
a date. As we walked down the street, my father happened to see
us back home and gave me an interrogation and a sermon. I' d
lied to my parents saying I was dating a friend and my father wouldn'
t forgive me. Yet. I remember my father' s words, that
' s how you treat your parents mean and lying you won' t do
anything good in life. As he remembered it, tears burst over his disgust.
He also put that anger on the paper. You have that character that
makes you feel like lying is that you don' t see it' s
your fault. Besides, you' re not gonna do anything good in life,
they don' t sound like horrible words to you. You have no
idea how much you hurt me. You' re the one who' s
not a good father. From that day on, I stopped talking seriously to
you. He who does evil ends while writing did not cease to weep as
soon as he realized it, it was already more than 12 noon. He
had spent more than two hours writing a dozen leaves full of anger well for
having been writing mercilessly or for having been venturing crying. The truth is,
she was pretty relieved. After a monic called Metti has already written what she
felt. Yeah, I' ve already written all my feelings. I'
ve cried a lot and now I feel a little better. She' s
ready to forgive her father. If I have to tell you the truth,
I may not be ready yet, but I intend to try to do everything
I can. If I could forgive him, I' d like to do
it and maybe I' d be more relieved, so let' s try.
Forgiving your father is just for yourself, for no one else I implore
a sheet of paper and write the following title that I can thank my father.
If it were a question of thanking your father, what would I be
grateful for? Well, especially the fact of working and raising me thanks to
the money for your work. The family could eat and I could grow up.
Write this on the paper something more mmm as a girl. He often
took me to the park and we played together write it also something else,
sort of, that' s all right, so I have another sheet write
the title that I want to apologize to my father. There' s something
you' d like to apologize for. Now I can' t think of
anything special, but I do have to tell you something, maybe deep down
I still feel antipathy for him, but I don' t feel at heart
that I want to apologize for this, even though I don' t really
feel it doesn' t matter. For starters, we' ll pretend he
' s sorry. For the moment write what you just told me. I
' ve already written it. When he says we' ll pretend what he
means. What you have to do from now on requires a lot of courage.
In fact, it is probably about the situation that implies having the most
value of your entire life. What I' m going to suggest to you
now is surely what makes you feel the most resistance. You decide whether you
want to do it or not. Call your father and tell him the words
of thanks and apology. If it doesn' t come from within, you
can pass on only the phrases you' ve prepared. You can also read
what I have written on the titled sheets that I can thank my father and
that I want to apologize to my father. After you say so, you
can immediately hang up the phone you want to try. I certainly can'
t do this unless I gather more value than I' ve used in my
entire life to this day. But if doing this serves to solve my problem,
I think it' s worth trying, even if it' s difficult.
Decide for yourself whether you do it or not. I think it'
s worth it. Well, I' m busy now, so if you
' ll excuse me, I' ll say goodbye to you. If you
do, tell me and we' ll move on to Monica' s next
step. What helped him was that we' ll pretend he' s sorry.
I couldn' t really feel like I wanted to apologize like the bad
guy' s my dad. It was absurd for her to apologize, but
it was simply a matter of reading a text perhaps and that she could so,
without a doubt, it would be best to try. Monica got in
a little bit of a rush to call. It made him very strange to
feel that he wanted to call. If it wasn' t for the circumstances
of the moment. Surely Monica would never have spoken on the phone to her
newlywed father. One day he phoned home, put on his father, and
then he said it was me. You put me through to Mom. Since
then it' s just saying it' s me. His father called his
mother right away. Monica' s on the phone. His father had already
realized that Monica had nothing to say to him, but that day he was
going to talk to his father on the phone. The more I doubt,
the harder I' ll be called. Monica thought so she decided to call
right away. His mother answered Monica' s phone how well you' re
normal, he' s dad how, dad you want to talk to dad
mmm, yeah, a little, this is weird. Why do you want
to talk to him? How good is something a little weird and hard to
explain to me. You' re making it clear for a moment during the
few seconds it took your father to get here. Monica' s nervousness surpassed
all levels. Until then. His father had always disliked him, refused to
open his heart, and now it was necessary to thank him and apologize if
he thought it cold, that was impossible to do. But because Monica suffered
from cori and this suffering was very serious. He was able to do something
he would not have been able to do under normal circumstances. If there was
any way to get rid of that concern, he would do anything, even
if it was a matter of grasping a fiery nail. This thought was what
directed Monica towards what she was about to do. His father put himself on
the phone Yeah, what do you want. Monica started talking with a panic
attack, almost without knowing what she was saying. Mmm. Well, I
' ve never told you before, but I thought it was better to tell
you, and that' s why I called Dad. I think your work
on the play must have been pretty hard. Thanks to your work and your
effort, you raised me and you really took me to the park. I
mean, so far I' ve never told you that' s to be
appreciated. I haven' t even shown you my gratitude and for this I
thought for once I' d want to tell you properly. Besides, I
didn' t like you, and I' d like to apologize for this,
too. He was not able to say thank you properly, nor am
I sorry, but somehow he was able to convey what he had to say.
I' ll hang up after I hear what my father has to tell
me. This is what he had planned, but his father said nothing.
Right after thinking if you don' t say anything, no, don'
t see me, I can' t hang up. What he heard was
his mother Monica' s voice. But you told Dad what, but what
a horrible thing you must have told him. You don' t realize he
' s crying. His father' s pits began to be heard on the
other side of the surprise phone. Monica was stunned. Until that day he
had never heard his father cry with how strong he was and now he heard
him sob. She had conveyed her thanks only by pretending to be sorry.
And now it turned out that his father, who had always shown strength,
was sobbing there listening to his father' s cry, Amónica also shed tears.
Her father wanted her much more. Now he saw that he also wished
to have many talks with his daughter, but all this time she had denied
him her love. His father was sad the one who was strong so he
could resist him. Everything that was necessary in the play was now crying with
a live tear. It had been so hard for him not to be able
to convey his love to his own daughter. Monica' s tears also became
a sob, for a while. Then the mother' s voice was heard
again. Monica, you' ve calmed down a little bit. You tell
me, Mom, please, you can pass me back to Papa Asterisk.
The father took the earphone, the voice trembled at him from the Asterisk cry,
Monica forgive me. I haven' t been a good father to you.
I made you have a lot of bad times. Dad, I'
m sorry I' m the one who' s been a bad daughter.
Besides, thanks for raising me. Monica' s voice also disappeared into the
pits. For a while. Then the mother' s voice was heard again,
but what happened. Well, when you calm down, you explain it
to me for now. After hanging up the phone, she was still a
little surprised. He' d been hating his father for over 20 years.
I' ve never been able to forgive him I thought she was the only
victim. He only saw his father from one point of view and had never
tried to see him from another perspective. He had not seen his father'
s love, his father' s weaknesses, his father' s clumsiness.
What a bitter experience he must have suffered until then. What a bitter experience
she had made her father suffer Then several thoughts passed through her head and also
the feeling of gratitude to her father sprang up. Then, finally, he
understood the meaning of Metha' s words by saying for the moment we'
ll pretend he' s sorry. The feeling will come out later. Asterisk.
When I had just thought Cori would arrive within an hour, the phone
rang. It was Metti Hi. I' m Metti Now I' ve
got about forty or fifty minutes off, and that' s why I called
you before I had a job and you gave me the impression that I cut
off half a conversation. The truth is, I called my father, and
I' m so glad I did. Thank you very much. I have
to thank you. Monica briefly told him about the conversation. Yeah, I
' m glad he had the courage and he did. I thought Cori'
s abuse at school was the biggest problem, but not having forgiven my father
for so many years gives me the feeling that it was an even bigger problem.
Now I think that thanks to my son' s problem, I'
ve been able to make peace with my father and I even feel I'
m glad about Cori' s problem. I see that you can now accept
the concern for Cori and constructively. And up to this point there is what
is called the law of the inevitable and if you study, you can see
the following. In fact, all the problems that arise in life occur to
make us realize something important, that is, that they do not happen by
chance inevitably does what must happen, that is, nothing happens to us,
that we cannot solve. All the problems that appear to us exist because we
can solve them and if we put ourselves in them positively and with love,
then if without any doubt they will bring us some benefit that will make us
say I am glad to have had that problem, thanks to which it seems
so. But what I' m still worried about is that Cory' s
problem is still unsolved. So, you still believe that the Cori problem remains
unresolved at all. Perhaps you have already taken a great step forward towards the
solution, because in the world of feelings everything is intertwined. If the cause
is solved, the result also has to change. It' s really true
that Cory' s problem will be solved. I think this is up to
you. Come on. Now it' s time to put some order in.
For you. The hardest part is that Corin doesn' t open his
heart. You say that, as a mother, you regret very much and
it is very hard for you not to be able to do anything. Besides,
you don' t want to have to feel this pain anymore. Yeah,
that' s right. He doesn' t tell me he' s
being mistreated. I want to help him, but he rejects me by saying
leave me alone. I feel powerless despite understanding your son' s grief.
There' s nothing harder for a mother than to be able to do anything.
It' s really hard. By the way, you must know by
now who has been suffering this same pain. What a who. At the
time, Monica thought of her father. Yes, that unbearable grief must have
been the same pain your father had had to endure for so many years.
The penalty for a daughter who didn' t open her heart, the penalty
for a daughter who rejected her, the penalty of not being able to do
anything. As a father it was the same grief she had. His father
had had to endure that. For more than 20 years. A tear rolled
down his cheek. I get it. I' ve been suffering the same
as my father. He had just as much trouble. I also understand why
you cried. The problems that arise in life appear to make us see something
that is important to us. Now I realize again what my father has suffered.
I think I' ve noticed that thanks to Cori. Thanks to the
fact that Corin doesn' t open my heart. Your son, your father
and yourself are united at the bottom of the heart. The position you take
towards your father is the same as the one that Coria has taken towards you.
Thanks to this, you could have noticed. Now I feel like I
want to thank Cori. I want to thank you for making me understand something
so important. Deep down. I was blaming him so far why you don
' t want to talk to your mother. You can now understand how your
son feels. Yes, as a child. I couldn' t stand my
father because he was a pain in the ass. I couldn' t stand
that I wanted to express my opinion, especially seen from now on I guess
that came from his love too, but at that time it was unbearable.
I think Cori thinks the same thing now. My oppressive love carries you too
much when you were little. What kind of father I wanted. I wanted
him to trust me, I wanted him to trust me, to think it
' s ironic. It' s gonna be okay. I don' t
think I trust Cori either. I think if I don' t help him,
he won' t know how to handle it, and that' s
why I' m trying to get him out and lecture him. I'
d like to trust him more. Now you are able to understand what your
father has suffered and what Cori is suffering. Let' s focus on your
husband now. You remember that this morning, when you called me, I
told you that the reason your son, Cori, is blamed is because you
' re blaming someone close to you. Yes, I remember, and I
told him it was impossible for me to respect my husband. Well, you
could explain to me again how you feel about your husband. I can'
t help but think he' s an uneducated man who has little sensitivity,
etcetera. Even though I am so worried about Cori, He without any foundation
is optimistic. I regret it, but seriously speaking about it we have not
yet done so anyway. I couldn' t accept what he said to me
either. While Monica was speaking, she realized that the position she had taken
toward her husband resembled the one she had taken toward her father. It looks
like the position I had taken towards my father. No yes, this is
often the case with women, the position they take towards their father is reflected
in their attitude towards their husband. By the way, from what you'
ve told me, I gather your husband trusts Cori. Right, yeah,
that' s right I should learn from my husband. Looks like Cori tells
his father pretty much what he thinks. Trust him and that' s why
Cori opens his heart. No. I didn' t realize my husband'
s virtues. I understand that' s how you felt. Okay. Now
I' ll send you homework. You decide whether you want to make them
or not. Before, he' s prepared two titled sheets that I can
thank my father and that I want to apologize to my father. Add to
those leaves everything you can thank him and everything he wants to apologize for.
Write as much as you can. You can use as many sheets as you
need. When I finish another sheet of paper, write the title as I
would have liked to deal with my father. This will not be written to
regret the past relationship with her father, but will serve to find clues as
to how to relate to her husband something else at night. When Cori is
asleep, look at his face and musite Thank you, a hundred times what
you think he wants to do. Yes, without a doubt, shortly after
hanging up the phone Cori came home, threw his wallet in the entrance and,
as always, took the glove and baseball and went out to the park.
Monica was very worried. Today he returns there, even though yesterday the
comrades threw him out. However, to distract himself from the concern, Monica
dedicated herself to doing her homework. He remembered many things that he could thank
his father, that I can thank my father. Keeping the family working on
the hard job of a child’ s work director, when he had sometimes
had a high fever. He had accompanied me by car to the emergency room
for my father, whose work required a lot of physical effort. I'
m sure going out at midnight was exhausting as a child. He often took
me to the river and to the sea. She taught me how to swim
when I was a kid. I liked the melon and every year for my
birthday I bought a melon before I got home. For a while, a
girl in the neighborhood mistreated me and my father went to complain to her home.
I studied at a private university and he paid me the tuition cups without
complaining for the family economy of that time. I' m sure it was
a big burden. When I found my first job, he ordered a tray
of Suchi to celebrate. It was a very luxurious Suchi tray. That day
I said the Suchi I don' t like and I didn' t eat.
My father was very depressed. They opened an account in the bank for
each of the brothers for an emergency and every month, even if it were
not enough, they would send us some money. The day before I got
married, my father wanted to give them to me, but I told him
I didn' t want to walk them down the street, so just put
them on my account and I didn' t get them that I can thank
my father and that I want to apologize to my father. They came to
his head mixed. While writing that I can thank my father and that I
want to apologize to my father. She got tears. He loved me so
much. Even though I turned it down. He continued to love me as
I could not let go of the feeling that I had no forgiveness. I
didn' t realize his love. Besides, despite being so dear, I
haven' t given anything to my father. I' ve hardly done anything
for him as a daughter. He also realized that, in fact, he
did not value his father' s work He thought that a director of the
work was of little rank and nothing intellectual. Although it was thanks to the
continued work of his father that he was able to graduate from college for the
first time he realized, he began to feel gratitude and respect for his father.
I thought your husband' s work had an unintelligent image. The image
associated with the feeling of rejection by her husband' s incultura was exactly the
same as his father' s image. I' m sure there were a
lot of things I should thank your husband for. While I was thinking about
all this, he prepared the sheet entitled How I would have liked to deal
with my father. He wrote the following. How I would have liked to
deal with my father to realize the love implied in his actions. Like me,
I' m imperfect. I understand that my father is also imperfect and
clumsy to thank what he does for me, not only to be loved,
but also to want to do something that makes him happy, to convey my
disagreement with what I dislike and to build a pleasant relationship for both of us.
She thought it was exactly how she should treat her husband, a husband
who works for me, the husband who is my partner in life. I
forgot to thank you for everything you do for me. Maybe this was the
first time I thought frankly about your husband. This may be related to what
I' ve been able to thank you for. My father. I'
ll thank you today. Monica realized that while she was thinking about all this,
it was dark. In fact, that day he had done hardly any
of the housework. Since he had called Metia at nine in the morning,
he had only been dealing with himself. What I' ll prepare for dinner.
Right after thinking this came Cori mom, you' re listening to me
what' s going on. Something positive happened. You remember Taiky Yesterday Taki
hit me with the ball. Ah yes, Taiki is the child that bothers
you the most. Not so, right now, when I was already coming
home, Taiki has come to the park and apologized saying sorry that it always
bothers you. Eh and so and while I was saying this, I felt
like a miracle was happening. It seemed to him that it was certainly related
to the fact that he had made amends sincerely with his father Monica decided that,
instead of dedicating himself to making dinner. He preferred to chat with Cori,
so he ordered her while they waited. He told her I' m
so sorry I' ve been getting too into your stuff. From now on,
I will try not to get into them so much and when you need
help, do not hesitate to tell me in agreement, because I trust in
You Corin' s face. He showed great joy and agreed Thank you.
Of course, Cori wanted me to trust him. Today' s a great
day.“ Good things come one after another,” Cori continued. Soon
after dinner came. I want to wait for Dad for dinner, so you
start eating. Why if you always eat before. I feel like having dinner
with Dad today. Dad works a lot for us. If she gets home
tired, it' s bad that she has to eat rice with chicken just
doesn' t feel like it, because I want to have dinner with Dad,
too. They' ll be more fun and we' ll eat all
three together. You really are a treasure. You look like Dad, you
' re really weird, but if you always complain about Dad being untapped.
Yeah, uh, Mom was wrong. Dad' s kind, he'
s a strong man, he' s a man among men. Yeah,
but if you don' t study, you just get a job like his.
I' m sorry, but in this, Mom was wrong, too.
Dad' s job is a great job, it' s useful to
people. Besides, it' s thanks to your work that we can eat.
We really have to thank him. You think so, Mom, yes,
I' m sure. Cori' s face became even more smiling and
happy. Children, in essence, should grow up feeling respect for their parents
and using them as a model. Monica' s words now gave permission to
Cori. I can admire Dad ah Cori, this is what had made him
happier. A while later her husband arrived and the three of them ate the
rice with chicken already cold, perhaps because he was glad they had waited for
him that day. Her husband was especially in a good mood. He ate
the cold rice saying it' s delicious. Cori fell asleep while her father
bathed. Monica began to thank him inwardly as she looked at his sleepy face,
perhaps because of the influence of the word. Thank you, but from
the bottom of your heart began to flow the feeling of gratitude. I thought
I was suffering because of this child and yet it is thanks to him that
I have realized something important. The truth is, maybe this kid has guided
me. As I thought this cori seemed to an angel in the blink of
an eye. She got tears. It had certainly been a day of much
weeping. A while later the phone rang. It was a fax. His
mother had sent him and said Monica. Your father told me he was crying
as he told me I also felt like crying for joy. Your father has
said of my seventy years this has been the happiest day, unlike the usual
of every night today during dinner he did not want to drink anything. He
said if I drink, I' ll get drunk and it' s a
pity I can' t enjoy these moments of joy. When you will come
to visit us, we will be very excited to see you, Mom Dad
used to drinking every night today has not drunk anything at all. It seems
that my words have made him really happy that until today my father could not
have stopped drinking, even when he was sick. It had to be as
a result of sadness. Monica' s tears came back. What are you
crying about? Her husband asked her that she had just left the bathroom.
Monica told him everything that had happened during the day, that she had called
Metti, that she had been writing on a paper, the difficulties and problems
with her pair that in the afternoon had called her father and that had made
peace. So your father also cried. Her husband listened to her half crying.
He also told her that the friend who mistreated Cory had apologized. Certainly,
strange things happen sometimes. True, I don' t understand Metti'
s methods much, but I' m glad because it seems like you'
ve worked well. Then Monica apologized crying to her husband. Thank you.
I thank you so much for everything you do. Today I have again felt
a great admiration for You and I am very sorry that until today I have
not realized enough of how wonderful You are. Monica' s husband was crying
while he was listening. The next day, Monica called Metti to tell her
what had happened and thank her. It seems that early in the morning her
husband had also called. Your husband called me, too. I' m
so glad I could be read is helpful. I' m impressed by your
courage and what you' ve done right from now on. It is very
important that you spend time every day to give in your heart a hundred times
thanks to your father, your husband and your son. Cori, I'
d like to recommend you read a few books. I' ll pick some
of them and send you the titles by fax today. That day, at
night Hello, it was Cori' s joyful voice coming home. Today,
the kids in the class invited me to play baseball. I' m leaving.
Cori grabbed the glove and ran off to Monica, her eyes were wet,
her voice was blocked and she couldn' t even say goodbye Fax.
Dear Monica will see the mirror that is life, makes us see what is
important. You don' t think so. I was very impressed by your
courage and daring. I' d just like to ask you a favor.
I think this experience can help other people. I wish you' d count
it if you took the case with my best wishes of love, gratitude and
joy for your life as bringing happiness to our life. Epilogue. Life is
a mirror that reflects our interior. Thank you for reading this account to the
end. Despite being fictitious names and professions, it is based on people and
real facts. When a certain time ago and this story is published in my
WAB coach from emotional quotient to increase day by day the strength to achieve success
and happiness. It had a surprising repercussion and I received a lot of emails
from readers. It has been a long time since I wept so much I
gathered strength to forgive those I could not forgive For years a strong feeling of
gratitude has invaded me. I received so many messages full of gratitude and feeling
that I too did not understand a great emotion. I also made copies of
this story and shared them among the attendees of the courses I teach in companies,
courses to improve the emotional quotient. On the first day of the course,
I sent, as homework, to read the text the next day I
asked them their opinion. Ninety percent of the participants had cried or ended with
weeping eyes. I realized that this story has something that reaches our hearts.
Needless to say, every time I reread it, I also end up with
weeping eyes. And every time I want to judge someone' s acts,
I remember this story and I feel like I' m purified now I'
m so glad that this story has been published in book format. I want
many more people to be able to know these facts and what you have felt
like reading this account. Monica was very worried about her son and didn'
t know how to solve the problem. Then Metti taught him a very simple
law that would give him the solution, a law that says the reality of
our life is the mirror that reflects our heart. It' s the law
of the mirror. If we fill the interior only with dissatisfaction, more and
more events will occur that want to express this discontent and, on the contrary,
if we have our hearts always full of gratitude, more events will occur
that will make us feel more grateful. Life. It is a mirror that
reflects our heart, that is, events occur that exactly tune into our interior.
Or it can also be said that the cause within us becomes a reality.
As a result, this law has many points in common with traditional Eastern
religion and philosophy. It is a very simple law, but which, if
known, teaches us to control our own life by coaching as an advisor to
numerous clients to achieve their goals and personal fulfillment. And during these years of
experience I have been able to verify that this law works on all individuals without
any exception. Using this law, many people have succeeded in changing an adverse
current situation and in making the desired situation a reality. Like when we look
in a mirror, we can know our own image. If we look at
what happens to us in life, we can know that we have within our
heart. Metti, who knew this law when he knew what was happening to
him Amónica, that is, that his dear son was criticized by the companions.
He realized Monica was inwardly criticizing someone. By the way, what do
you do when you don' t like your picture reflected in the mirror.
For example, if you look in the mirror and see that it is bare
diagonal bar, what does for a long time extend your hand to fix the
hairs of your image in the mirror. He' s not gonna make it,
is he? Probably what you will do is reach out your hand to
your head and fix them in a similar way. To solve the problems of
life at its root, it is necessary to eliminate the cause in one’
s heart. If we do not change our internality and only hope that others
and situations will change, we will not get what we want. In the
case of Monica, when she managed to reconcile and feel gratitude inside her for
her father and her husband, the current problem, the concern for her son
disappeared When I say that we need to change our interior. I don'
t mean that you don' t have to act in reality, for example,
if someone is being mistreated by someone else, the first thing you have
to do is act to protect yourself in real life. But while trying to
do the best in real life, it is also important to change what is
inside your heart. With forgiveness you get calm. Let' s think a
little bit about forgiveness. When I think I can' t forgive him,
it means that I still live tied to the past, that the heart is
full of resentment towards someone. In this case, Monica was tied to the
popes words spoken by her father in the past and this made her inwardly resent
him. Although he had recently stopped thinking of his father at the bottom of
his heart, he still felt reproach for him. If I resent someone and
tell myself I can' t forgive them, I' ll never get inner
peace. We are upset because an extra force is acting on us and if
this situation is prolonged, it will eventually become suffering. This is certainly a
difficult situation. I' ve experienced it, too, right now. We
have two options, forgiving or not forgiving. If in the past we are
injured from the relationship with someone, we can choose not to forgive. In
this case it means that we allow ourselves to be anchored in the past event
and because of that past situation, we eliminate the possibility of having a life
full of peace. On the other hand, we also have the option to
forgive. If we forgive, then both our body and our interior calms down
and we can' t relax. We free ourselves from the spell of the
past and achieve peace and freedom of spirit. Forgiveness doesn' t mean we
give the go- ahead to what they' ve done to us or that
we overlook it. Nor does it mean that we have patience, despite thinking
that the diagonal bar is her fault. Forgiveness means that we are free from
the past, that we are bound to stop reproaching and that we choose the
calm of the present moments. And you feel at this time resentment toward someone
would be willing to forgive that person in order to achieve a happy life.
For you to keep in mind that forgiving someone is only for yourself. diagonal
bar is not for anyone else. Let' s forgive ourselves. There'
s probably someone who thinks it' s impossible for me to forgive such a
person. In this case don' t blame yourself or think. I'
m a mess because I can' t forgive him or so I can'
t be happy, etcetera. You have to understand that you have been hurt
and you will need to accept it first. Maybe he' s not ready
yet, diagonal bar. You need to accept yourself. diagonal bar, first
one forgives himself. This is what in psychology is known as self- acceptance.
First we accept that we have been hurt and then we forgive ourselves for
not being able to forgive such a person. In this way, we manage
to self- accept and get the relief that will enable us to forgive.
It is also necessary to search among one' s own beliefs. Beliefs are
the ideas that we have rooted within us, in the notebook of emotional quotient
to increase day by day the strength to achieve success and happiness. Neither Hitsuchi
nor Powershin. Methods of searching for and eliminating them are discussed. For example,
having the ideas cited below holds back the power to forgive. If I
forgive, I' d lose 100% of the blame for me having had
a bad time It' s yours. I don' t have any responsibility.
It is easier to be the victim than to accept responsibility itself. You
have to pay for what you' ve done. The pain won' t
go away unless I take revenge to protect myself diagonal bar. I must not
forgive him. The list might be longer, but for now think about whether
or not these ideas will let you be happy eight steps to get forgiveness.
Now I' ll tell you eight steps to get forgiveness. Those people who
so far haven' t been able to forgive anyone. If you put it
into practice, you will have the possibility of taking a clearly favorable turn to
your life. You make a list of those people you can' t forgive.
Write on a sheet of paper the name of those people you think about.
I' d feel better if I could forgive him. I wish I
could make peace with the diagonal bar on her. The relationship with parents is
especially important. Ask yourself if you do not reproach your father or mother and
if you are really grateful to them. Diagonala bar and if this is the
case, write your names on the list as well. If you are married,
Barra Diagonala, ask also about your partner, if you are divorced,
Barra diagonal or ask if you have reconciled with your former partner. This step
remains valid, even if the person has already died. Also enter in the
list the name of all those you cannot forgive alive or dead. Once elaborate.
The list chooses the person with whom you will implement the eight steps to
get forgiving two. Express your feelings, priper several sheets of paper, and
write down your feelings for that person. Write down the feelings I had in
this moment, more than the concrete situations. If you have feelings of anger,
you can express them with the swearing words you can think of. You
son of a bitch, it doesn' t matter if you remember the sadness
and pain you felt, then you can also write it down. Write down
your feelings as they come out. No one' s going to read it,
so you don' t have to do compliments or control yourself if you
' re going to cry, cry, cry as much as you want,
because then you' ll feel better when you think you' ve already written
everything you feel, stop and break the paper throw it in trash three look
for the reasons for those acts. A scribe who made that person he cannot
forgive. Two, imagine and write down the motives that led that person to
act in such a way. The motives that make people act can be broadly
divided into two types. Believes to feel pleasure and avoid feeling pain. Think
of what pleasure he wanted to feel for that person who made him act that
way, or what pain he intended to avoid. Imagine the causes and write
them three when you have finished writing, do not misjudge the motives, but
try to understand the immaturity, clumsiness and weakness of that person. Human beings
often make mistakes. For example, we do something thinking that will make us
happy, but it ends up making us suffer. Sometimes we act to avoid
some suffering, but all we get is more pain. This demonstrates our immaturity,
our weakness and how clumsy we are. We must understand that the acts
of others are because of their immaturity, their little ability and their weakness.
Four. You should not think about whether the acts of others will be right
or wrong. You need to focus on the reasons that led you to act
and say the following. Like I can wish for the diagonal bar, she
also wished to feel pleasure. Like I can wish for the diagonal bar,
she also wished to avoid feeling pain. Four. Write down what you can
thank him for. Write down everything you can thank that person, even if
it seems insignificant. Try to write as much as you can, even if
you need a lot of time, try to remember as much as possible.
Five use the force of words. One. First, make the following statement
for my own happiness, calmness and freedom. I forgive two. Then repeat,
forgive, if possible, repeat it aloud, even if it is so
low that no one can hear it. You don' t have to feel
it in your heart, even if your feelings tell Nene or I can forgive
you. You can say that by simulating it. Repeat it for more than
ten minutes, in ten minutes, you can repeat it between four hundred and
five hundred times and, if possible, do it for half an hour.
This is a crucial step. In the case of Mónica Metti, he skipped
this step and advised him to call his father directly to consider him an exceptional
case. Metti knew Monica' s personal situation and decided that was the right
thing to do. In general, I advise to do this step well and
act after the feeling of gratitude appears. Six, write down what you'
d like to apologize for. Write down what you' d like to apologize
to that person for. The better. Seven, write down what you have
learned, write down what you have learned through your relationship with that person.
If you think about how it would have been better to deal with that person,
you may be able to realize or learn something new how you think you
might have dealt with that person to make them both happier. Eight declare it,
forgive me, but I donate to these were the eight steps to get
forgiveness. It doesn' t matter if, after having completed the eight steps,
he still persists feeling I can' t forgive him. In this case,
repeat paragraph two of step five. Repeat the person' s name while
remembering his face. If possible, repeat it every day for more than five
minutes. A few days later I should feel a change. How to make
a happy life come true if during the process of carrying out these steps you
have been grateful to that person, what would you like if I thanked him
and if I had thought I would apologize. How would you like to pass
on to the action before the feeling fades. Thanks to what he did,
Monica was released from the prison that represented him. He couldn' t forgive
and got freedom. Like Monica, she had enough courage to act and this
changed her life. I think your courageous acts can also change yours. If
among the people included in the list of I cannot forgive that you have written
in step one finds the name of your father or your mother, it is
above all necessary that you do all the steps. Thanks to this, the
lives of many people will change incredibly favorably. The relationship with parents is reflected
in many human relationships and will be very beneficial to them if they reconcile heartily
with them. One day they told me, like Monica did, one day
I had the courage to thank my parents, but they did not accept them
and they replied. And now that you' re telling us, in this
case, most likely a lot of people get mad at their parents. If
you expect your parents to react like Monica' s father, you' ll
probably end up more angry than you were when you apologize or give thanks.
The ideal is to do it without waiting for others to change. The goal
is to transmit it, even if you do not know whether that person will
accept it or not. If you' re able to transmit it, that
' s enough. If they reject you, it means that person is very
hurt. This is his weakness. Moreover, even if he openly rejects you,
your words in the background may make him feel something. In any case,
I would like you to appreciate the fact that you have acted and feel
satisfied that you have chosen to forgive, that you have forgiven. You are
no longer the victim and you are responsible for your own life again. You
should be proud of this. Don' t forget the words, the law
of Metti' s inevitable. All the problems that arise in life occur to
make us realize something important. You' ll never have any problems you can
' t fix. You have the strength to solve any problem that happens so
that, through your solution, you realize something important. I want this book
to help you realize a happy life and it would make me immensely happy if
with this book you could broaden the circle of happy people around you. If
while you have read this book you have noticed something or felt some emotion.
Do not hesitate to share it with those around you. Imagine his face of
happiness. By sharing it, it might be that their actions brought good luck,
freedom, and reconciliation with someone with my best wishes to make wonderful friendships.
I hope that the circle of happy people will expand around you and I
hope that the earth will be filled with good feelings and gratitude. Part of
the income from the sale of this book goes to the headquarters organization Shelrein is
a non- governmental organization or ng recognized by the United Nations, which works
for children. It works on aid programmes to make children' s rights a
reality in over 150 countries of the world' s one hundred and thirty-
two million children born annually, eleven million die before they reach the age of
five. Children who are undernourished and live in poverty before thinking about whether or
not they forgive their parents must worry about how I can survive and how I
will achieve a safe life. I' ll be very lucky if I can
help the children of the world with this book. If you like content like
this, I invite you to subscribe to this podcast. This is Lili'
s secrets.