WEBVTT

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So this episode, I was switching
gears. Last episode was a little more

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playful, but it was about memories. This episode is about memories, also

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of a different kind. Friends.
I'm James add Junior and since fifty plus,

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as I reflect on turning fifteen a
few months, they started looking back

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at some of my life and my
fun and things that I did. And

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last week was all about the electronics
electronical stuff. This week's about friends.

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And this month I lost someone very
important in my life back in two thousand

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and there's a lot of time tiousand
and seven I think it before that it

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was nineteen. I'm sorry seven nineteen
ninety seven because the game has been that

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long. But I was so young
and losing a friend so young and who

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is also young too now an older
for him, it's like young same age

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was kind of rare and you're like, well, that's kind of and it

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sticks with you too. But as
you get older and you get into your

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forties and it's case fifties and sixties, it's just more common people are gonna

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start to go. I've seen over
the last four years five years, I've

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lost about seven or eight friends.
Well, I was really close to that's

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an acquaintances too. They're out there
too. But I got like some really

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close people that I just thought as
long as I do. It was after

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my brother who passed before that,
who was my around my age, and

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so like that's a that's another story. It's con simbling, but losing a

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friend it really hits differently, right
because again you're you're getting ready for parents,

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grandparents, older people. But your
peers, that's such a thing.

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And a lot of us have peers
of all ages. I think back to

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the age Crisis for example, I
had friends my age. Friends are a

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lot of friends older, and I
would say, I hate to even say

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this, but I think ninety percent
of my older friends died. I have

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a few that are left. You're
left over, but I would say ninety

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percent of my friends at that time, but who are older than me,

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all passed away from ads or complications
from it. Now it's a sad time

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period. I I have a picture
of seven people as well as nine of

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us, and I only two of
us are left. The other seventies died

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and I cannot the picture. There
are certain patons I have up that I

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cannot get still because just friendships.
So then I was asked again, I

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was young. I was like nineteen
twenty twenty, twenty, twenty twenty,

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you know, and when I was
young. But I think it almost hits

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even harder because you've had some of
your life for twenty years, twenty five

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years, thirty years. They become
family, they become somebody more than just

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a friend, and then once you
are, you know, a friend,

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maybe maybe you don't consider them family
family with their friends. They've been in

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your life for a long time.
It's just like you just they're always you

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just do like they're always there.
They're there, you know. It's just

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that's just how it is. So
it's just it's weird when they're not and

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you sort of feel your own mortality
at the same time. You're like wow,

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like they're dying, Like how's my
health? What am I doing?

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What's going on? Might be the
last one left? It's uh, there's

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a classic Golden Girls episode about that. What will happen if we all,

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you know, people start to die
off? We was left and the youngest

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isn't always the one to go first
over sorry, the oldest is always want

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to go first. That's the whole
part thing about that too. It's like

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I learned at my family where some
of the older folks last longer than the

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younger folks. Each friendship that I
lost cut just cut in, because what

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also starts to die is well,
first of all dies, there's no future.

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Your future just cut off. That's
it. We won't see them anymore,

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which could mean a cut off,
stoppage of traditions you have with them,

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certain ways you speak, certain ways
you act, some ways you talk,

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certain certain things you do together that
you want to do with that person

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or persons. That could be the
ending of that. So you're like mourning

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the loss of them physically of course, but we're also learning emotionally but also

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socially. That's the thing we don't
really to talk about that. It's like

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you lose a friend, you lose
something socially. Also, the phone calls,

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the text, they're going out to
eat, they're going shopping as you

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do. I mean, like,
oh, whatever you guys do together,

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the award shows us together, and
the movies you go together, like that's

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part of your social life and social
circle circle dies to you. What was

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a friend? That is like kind
of the conduit the center of your group

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does the group survive. Was that
friend always a friend that got you,

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guys always together, made sure everybody
was in touch, you know, made

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sure you kept you get You know, I have some friends, you know

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that they just you know, we
all love each other. Some friends actually

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make the effort to make sure we
on this birthday, we all get together,

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on this occasion, we meet up. If that person goes, what's

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someone saying about slack or we'll just
go to nothing. All those things,

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I think is are just very important
things think about because you just don't know.

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So I think that's something that's very
it's very very interesting that death or

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friend can break down down so many
different things in your life and your other

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friends' lives. When I'm gonna get
into like how they die, because that's

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a whole discussion, because I know
that that there's the eternal, the eternal

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debate of die suddenly or slow death? Which one you know as the friend,

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who's who's do you what you?
I mean? Isn't more shocking?

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Is it harder when someone dies quickly
and suddenly all of a sudden, you

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either mess, oh my god,
they're dead, or if they're sick and

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you get a chance to be with
them to the end. I don't know.

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I don't have any just a rhetorical
thing. I think both are hard

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in their own ways. But i've
as a person who's had both happened.

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They don't feel good. They were
good, I think. I mean in

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the end, you've lost a friend. I mean, that's that's the lesson

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there. You lost a friend and
also losing friends as you get older fifty

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plus, for a lot of people, it's harder to make friends at certain

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ages. A lot of us aren't
working those jobs together where everybody becomes friends

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after work and goes for drinks or
going to the bars or clubs. You

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get a little older, maybe it's
not what you want to do anymore.

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You don't do that, you can't
do it anymore. What if you have

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health issues? You know, all
kind of stuff happens when you get older.

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Making friends is hard enough, especially
if you're in big cities like this

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or in rural rural areas. But
like, you know, what do you

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do if you're losing the friends you
have? If you have one friend and

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they're gone, what do you do? It's just it's all there's no easy

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answer to that either. We're still
exploring that as we get older. I'll

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stop here. I just wanted to
talk about that, and I'm want to

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give a shout out to all of
my friends who are passed, who I

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miss every day and all the time, and I have fond memories with.

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I wish you guys were still here. But I'll see you, see I'll

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see you. I'll say i'll see
you soon, and I want to say

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that I'll see you at some point
again, will rejoice in being united.

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I have fifty plus. Talk to
you next time.