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It's the Lapsed Fan Wrestling Podcast with
jack ENCRN SEO and JP Sorrow. The

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bells are ringing. It's the twenty
twenty three Lapsed Fan Christmas Show. The

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unwrapping two As gifts continue to stream
into the po box, tidings of great

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cheer and great wishes from the best
listenership in all of podcasting, the envy

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of all of podcasting, listener for
listener, dollar for dollar, there is

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nothing quite like the Lapsed Fan Solar
system. Agree. There are those who

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know it, and there are those
who pretend they don't know it. But

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on Christmas time there is absolutely no
denying. And who's our next distinguished betefactor?

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That would be Christopher Mains very good
from me? Alaska or Arkansas?

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Arkansas? Wait's what's supposed to go
in? No Alaska? Ak is Alaska,

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isn't it, brother? Because it's
a nine nine five seven six,

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Yeah, it's gonna be Alaska.
Holy ship, sir, Wow, I

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did not know. I mean you
know what now I think I know who

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it is. I think I know
who it is. That's why that's why

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the post is is so expensive.
Screen to me? Do we have listeners

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in all fifty states that that's something
to explore until and the United States territories

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brother like Amilla and Mid South.
I know, we got Kaypo and Hawaii,

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so that's cover. Here we go. We've got Eric Bischoff in Montana,

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Wyoming. Sorry, nice rapping?
Yeah? Is there a better sound

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all year than that? God?
I love it so much. Never gets

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old. Don't let it get old. Fight the dying of the light.

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As Dylan Thomas would say, the
child's Christmas in whales, except we're whaling

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away on fucking Christmas boxes here.
We're gonna laugh. Bubble wrap, bubble

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wrap. More than one thing going
on in there. It looks like bubble

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the love sponge wrap. That's if
we're gonna keep getting t NHD Fuck me,

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Oh my god, what pulled that
out of the Frame's luck? He's

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got the look, he's got the
boss look. Or I'm just gonna do

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that? Oh fucking hell? What
does that mean? Oh? Ses read

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what the first thing you showed me
said? What does this say? And

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this you know is bullshit anyway.
Certificate of authenticity Bruce Hart black and white,

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eight by ten, signed in silver
sharpie. The above. The autograph

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described above is guaranteed to be authentic. I e are actually signed by the

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celebrity slash band noted for the life
of the item. Yeah, bullshit,

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Tim and Pillman and Bad Company and
Stampede. I'll tell you that is bad

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Company. There's something else here,
so oh Man, an autographed eight by

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ten of Bruce Heart. It can
only be elapsed Christmas, ladies and gentlemen.

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God, even Brett wouldn't want to
signed Bruce, especially Brett. We

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should probably say Boss Man's jaws open
right now. I can let you know

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that his mouth hangs a gape.
But what what's causing all this is out

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of my field of vision. He
elevates it slowly from the bottom. It

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says wrestling. It says, oh
my god, Oh my god, it's

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a Wrestling All Stars in case.
And it's oh my god, how disturbing.

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Oh my goodness. Okay, everybody
knows that the Wrestling All Stars Trading

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card collection. That's sort of like, you know, the most vintage complete

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set of of pro wrestling trading cards. And Boss put the card at the

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bottom of the frame of the camera
and slowly tilted up so that I could

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see the revealed face of none other
than Buck Zuomhoff, Fuck them Hoff.

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This Christmas season, get a little
Buck Zumhoff under the tree as well as

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in other places, as well as
under other hoods. Parent, would you

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like to read here we go Buck
Zoomhoff Honolulu, Hawaii? Sure? Yeah,

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Well that's you know, that's where
you end up with charges in four

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states rock and roll and is originally
from Hamburg, Minnesota, so it's dusty,

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but calls Honolulu his home after a
couple of very successful wrestling campaigns in

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Hawaii. He is another protege of
Verne Gagny's. Zumhoff is generally considered the

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top junior heavyweight in the AWA.
His biggest rival over the years has been

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Bobby the Brain Keenan. So the
top junior heavyweight in the AWA lives in

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Hawaii. Well, I don't see
the problem. What's the problem. I

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don't that's a killer idea. Oh
all right, So daddy, who is

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this wrestler? Why would your fans
send you a card of this guy?

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This is dated November thirteenth, twenty
twenty three from the Lapsed Action Heroes.

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That's a good one corner. We
didn't come up with that corner of no

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year role Boulevard Truther Consequences, New
Mexico eight seven nine zero one. Dear

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Jack and JP, Merry Christmas from
the biggest LAPS fan in the Great White

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North of Alaska. I hope you
both are well and are having a great

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holiday so far. After years of
listening to the hours and hours of the

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greatest college podcast of all time,
I wanted to take the chance to show

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you my free I have included two
gifts, specifically for JP from his favorite

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wrestlers of all time. Thank you
both for all that your favorite wrestlers of

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all time. Fuck you, Chris
Mains, fuck you. It's the Mains.

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Indeed, it's the Mains coming up
in Philly. It's the Mains and

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the thirty week journey as we look
back on ten years of lapse, and

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it's the Main's holiday gift twenty twenty
three, Buck Zoomhoff and so much more.

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Did you want to think about?
Boss? I urge you this holiday

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season, as you're under the tree
with your cocoa and you know, sort

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of like Ralphie's dad looking out the
window at the freshly fallen snow, I

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want you to think about how lightly
the snow fell outside the Zoomhoff home.

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The last Christmas he had together with
his film We'll See You Next Time on

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the TLF. Christmas Show is a
production LAPPED Entertainment Group. Its content is

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intended for private use only. We
want

