Cannon letter box, nobody sharking can correct? Pay that man eight dollars?
Where was the declaration of independent side at the bottom? Correct? Pay that
man nine dollars to God, it pays to be ignorant. Another half hour
and Radio's Vegas Hatch of Movies with Lula McConnell, George Shelton, Harry McNaughton,
don Novic's Rhythm, Butcher's and the Zaneus of the Zinnys, Tom Howard,
Thank you, Johnny, and could even ladies and Yemen while Friday means
fish. So here's that fishy quiz program again with a border experts who are
so dumb they think the steam shovel is used to shovel steam. Wor'st the
other celebrated author, mister har McNaught, who was just written the booking title
Variety in Your Diet or everything comes to him who orders hash. But there
he is, mister Harry mccaughton. I have a poem, mister Howard,
I imagine, yes, dedicated to miss McConnell. Oh fine, Lulu,
Lulu, will you get up mother? I'm not able, Lulu, Lulu,
you musket up? The horse wants to use the stable Oh, thanks,
we have a woman. Thanks, we have a woman who leads a
very conventional light. She follies all convention. A woman whose husband gave her
girdle away in the scrap drive. Now she's showing him for non support.
There she is Miss Lola mcconnald'. Mister Howard, Yeah, I almost had
an accident last week. You had an act. Me and my old man
had a fight and he threw me out of the second story window and I
landed on a pile of bricks. Oh, you landed on a pile of
brick. You don't look as if you've got hurt much. Oh, but
it was just luck that pile of brick hadn't have been there right on the
hearts in that Oh yeah, you'll yeah, all right. That's the other
man who used to be nervous and jerky, but he isn't nervous anymore.
You've heard of Whistler's mother. Here, he is Frankenstein's father. Mister George
Shall say, you don't miss, I ain't been feeling so good lately.
Well that's good news, yes, good good news. Last week I sent
a specimen of my blood to Washington. Yeah, and I gotta let him
back. This morning he sent blood to Washington. How did they say?
Well, wait, I'll read the Lena. Dear mister Shelton, we are
pleased to inform you that a patron has been granted you for your new spotry
mover while you have met the experts. Now, let's get on on the
program. Here's the first question for the evening in the new moving picture entitled
Wilson, What is the name of the president? The movie is about?
No help in the audience, please hard if I'm not too inquisitive. Was
he a president of the United States? A very good question, mister mcnot.
Thank you. Yeah, I will answer that. That's right. Yeah,
but which one? There was a lot of present I can name them
all. Oh it was Washington. Yeah, there was Great. Yeah,
yeah, yeah there was Washington. You said Washington before I saw it with
Great? Say you you you remember Grant, don't you? Miss mcclonel.
Oh sure, I knew all my shopping in his door. Cut it up,
please, you're shopping, bes's McConnell. Why don't you shut your mouth
now if you know I'm coming over there and shut it. Yeah, how
are you gonna get back? Well, let's get back to the question that's
about the movies. Once. It was a hard speaking about the movies.
I have a horse that wants to join Metro Goldwin mayor Metro gold Man doesn't
care about for Metro Goldvin. But he's crazy to meet one of the mayors.
That has nothing to do whatsoever with the question. I was in a
picture once, Okay, I was in love with the boy and he was
in love with me. I see who is the boy? Boris? Call
off? Let's get on there please. I took my girl and a picture,
miss town. I took the name Romeo and Juliet the picture and Juliet,
Oh, yes, did you enjoy the kissen scene in the balcony?
Yeah? But the Yusha put us out the pope. I don't all that
was ready? Fine? Boy? What I wish I could pick up a
second handed organ someplace. I'd get rid of that orchestra. Well, here
is the next question. This question will require a great deal of thought,
so listen very closely. Here it is the evening before November first, is
called Halloween. Can you tell me what month this falls in? I'll concentrate
hard. I don't see anything very difficult about that. Christian Oh you don't.
I'm glad to hear you say that it's about Halloween, isn't it.
That's right? See that nothing to it. What's the next question? Hey,
that's not that easy. You haven't answered this question. You told me
what the question was about. I want you to tell me the correct answer.
I don't like Halloween. Oh cares lant Halloween? Somebody stolenar date?
Yeah? Did you take offense? I don't get it again. You know
I'll never forget Last Halloween. I got my nose broken on you it looks
good. Yeah, about two o'clock in the morning, I called up a
guy. I got him out of bed to answer the phone. Then I
said guess who? And I hung up good. Are you a rat?
I know he has, But I say, tell me, mister Sheldon,
how did you get your nose broken? He guessed two. I know how
I love Halloween. Last Halloween, I went around ringing doorbells, is it?
Yes? I sold three full of brushes. And then I went to
a Halloween party and they served hot dogs, but they didn't have any meeting
them. Hot dogs without meeting them. Yes, you see, they were
hollowweenies. Helloo, wait a minute, what are you laughing at I took
a prince, they took a bad works. No, I'm trying against you
to a Let me have you out. Look, we have January, February,
March, afrom May, June, July, August, September. Now
what comes after September February, which has twenty eight except Milwaukee, and that's
in Wisconsin, West part glad to hear that time. All right, here's
where we have some help from the studio audience. We've invited two members of
the audience up here in the stage. They can ask the experts a question.
If they get an intelligent answer, we give them the deed to the
Pentagon Building in Washington. If they don't give them two tickets for last week's
broadcast. While Johnny, while Johnny is bringing our guests to the microphone,
let's have some music from our miss bit August. Last time this one's played
the donkeys serenade. The Monkeys went out on a sit down stripe. Here
they are doctor Novic and his boiler makers playing port and Peasant. Yeah that's
not I know at Preasant. Yeah, now that he has pick up the
instrument and every man for himself. God, I shot the guy, which
is no more than they're in a rock bo I go, I'm play the
leader krit why boy, if if that, if that was caught and peasant,
I'll take arsenic an old lady. I might announced at this point,
Ladies and gentlemen, the Doctor Novik's orchestra can be hired out for hunt houses,
scattered turkeys, and empty theaters. Who was our first guest this evening?
The robberts our first guest night? Mister Howard is copping his mate,
first Class Earl Ballard of the United States Navy. Oh, how do you
do? Earl Ballard? This isn't need a pleasure, and thank you a
lot for coming up. Where's your hometown or oh, we're kind of curious.
Lake Tahoe, California. Lake Tahoe, California. My oh where California?
Yeah, lake Tallahoe. I brought that way, mister Sheldon, drop
in, drop yeah, Well we'll put cheese on my bread and call me
butter. Yeah. Are used to work in that town? Cut it out?
How many towns have you worked in? How many weeks have we been
on the air? Right, so I did? I worked in that town.
I was a dentist in the baker shop. You were a dentist in
the baker shop. I used to put the filling in the cream pumps.
My tough job, i'll mister Ballard. How long have you been in the
service, sir, the little two years? Two years? Congratulations. What
did you do before you entered the service? I was a carpenter, Oh,
carpenter. While it's plain to see you're going to make a good sailor,
or you do make a good looking sailor rather, mister Howard. Yes,
I had a nice sailor on the on the beach last summer. That
summer he buried me in in the sam you know what he was. What
happened? Oh? I waited, wait three days, nothing happened, So
I dug myself out. I see, that's why you made a mistake.
All right, let's get off here. Stop babbling by attention to our guest.
Here are you in New York on the parlough? No, sir,
I'm temporarily stationed here. Oh I see, I see that's fine. Well,
I might say, we are more than happy to have you with us
here to see. What's your first name? Honey? Earl? Earl,
earl? What's the cute name? Is it. I just love that namer.
Yes, Oh he's a kid. Can't do any man. You can
just call me Bolivar. I'm always on time. Man. You gotta shape
like Big Ben two. You your talk? You are worn out pipe cleaner?
Why you're so said when you got off? Why they use you to
cut the cake with? Will you reach into the dun got them to got
a question for us, earl, and would you be kind enough to read
the question when you get a hold of one, Just take good time and
read it writing the microphone. If you will please name three wild animals found
in the United States. That's a very good question. I think it's too
intelligent for this program, though, Name three wild animals found in the United
States. Now, I'll give you a hint. It's rather a difficult questions
at trying to help you. There's the city of New York State named after
one city in New York State. I got it, syrac Killer, I
said, wild animals. Surih Jus is not a wild animal, that's right.
I'm thinking of dan dangoroos a wild animal. I saw one of them
up at the zoo. You did, really a dangaroos? Well, there
was a shine on the cage, he said, don't feed the animals.
Dangaroos dangle mischella, May I inform you I've really seen better heads on the
end of bumberellas dangeruze. Let's get on with the question three wild animals.
The one I'm trying to get is the one that has his picture on the
Buffalo nickel. Now what is his name? Now, if we only had
a nickel, we can find out, Miss McConnell. Let me ask you
something, is maccone, You played the good money theaters all over the country
in your time, haven't you? Yes, sir, did you ever play
Shay's theater in Buffalo? Oh? Sure, my Shay? Yeah, Grand
Persons Tower. He was a fine man. Then what town was his theater?
In Toronto? Katana? Hello, I agree with you. There was
a Shay theater in Toronto, But that's not the one I mean. That
was ratten by mister Shay's brother Jerry. What I'm talking about is the one
in New York State. Well, I'm say at a theater in Buffalo,
New York. Now fine, Now what is the name of the animals Who's
head Canada? Look, Miss McConnell, I'll admit that's close. But stay
out of Canada. Why, what's the matter with Canada? There's nothing the
matter with Canada. What are you telling people who stay out of it?
Form, I didn't not really want to stay out of Canada. You certainly
did. I heard you with my own eye. That's how you talk with
your ears. So look, he is a great country. You're dear telling
people stay out of Canada. Look, you're gonna get a lot of letters
on that remark. All right, say lest the new chief. As I
told no person to stay out of Canada, you're told, Miss McConnell,
what tea is the person? Oh? I'm not well, what am I?
Even the quiz kids couldn't anchal that? But let's set down. You're
rocking the studio here. I think you know, mister mister Howell, I
mean, after all, oh boy, that's not the proper way to spare
the spread the good neighbor policy, you know, but that I mean,
you can't do it that way telling people to stay out of Canada. You
fold mead, Canada is our allied. Yeah. Look please, All I'm
trying to find out is the name of this animal. Look at the big
bumpy, big bulky body. It has a large shaggy head, lobbled when
it walked. Now went back to miss mccamble again. God, I will
thank you, Doctor Ramick. That was real, ain't fun? Who are
we next, mister Roberts plea, Well next, mister Holb. We have
a very lovely young lady, Miss Dorothy Jarvis of the Cadet Nursed Card.
Wow, good evening, Miss Jovis. This is indeed a pleasure, and
thank you also for coming up. How do you feel, miss Jovis?
I'm just fine. Thank you, Well, you certainly do look at that.
We're very glad to have you with us. How long have you been
in the service a little over a year. Well, congratulations to you.
Dear telling people, I'm not going to speak to you again, mister Sheldon.
There are the people in Canada who talk to you. They no attention
to the experts, Miss Javis. We'll be putting them back on their plate
pens in a minute. Now. Where's your hometown? Would you care to
tell us Queen's Dodge or Queens Village? Well in Canada, mister, No,
that's not in Canada. Nice Town, you know, nice Town,
Queen's Village, Yes it is. I know it. Well. They have
a lot of beautiful things in that town. They have. They've all got
boyfriendst What did you do before you entered the service? I worked in the
post office in Queens Village, Jamaica, or in Jamaica, that's closer,
Queen Village. Were in the post office in Jamaica. You didn't play post
well, no, no, mister hard you know a funny thing. You're
talking post offices. I I I nailed a letter this morning, you know,
and it was it was raining, you see, So if I put
the stamps inside the envelope, that's a good thought. I didn't want them
to get wet. No, I can't say that. It would be no
good if they got wet. I'm hopefully quick, you know. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, Look miss jovis attention. What were your duties in the
post office? Did you make it? You? Did you apartment or registered
letters? Yeah? I've seen people you put the stamps on letters? Do
you put the stamps on the letter before it comes in or after you get
the No, you couldn't do that. I'm on. Nick Laughton's got me
that way. We're very very glad to have you with us. Would you
reach into the dunge cap there and pick out a question for us. Please,
any question get a hold of and would you be kind enough to read
the question? How many two cents stamps are there? In a dozen?
How many? Well that that's a good question. That seems that's funny that
you should pick a question like glad being in the post office looks like it
was a put up job. Well maybe it is. Let us get on
here. How many stamps are there in a dozen? Oh, that's an
easy one. Give me a pencil, somebody, and wait a minute.
Thanks. You don't want an adding machine, do you? No? No,
no, I can figure it out just the pence you show me alone.
All right, you don't need a pencil to figure that out. I
gotta have some to figure it out where. Okay, use your hand.
Let's get on here with a face and miss McDonald calling me up. Oh
yeah, that's a pleasure, Miss McCartan. Can you tell us how many
two cents stamps are there? And a dozen? Rather? Yes, wholesale
on retail. Look, that doesn't make a bit of difference. No,
wait a minute, that's the Connells. Are you good at aristmetic? Am
I there? Your rhythmetic. Yeah, yeah, am I then you ath
well? Are you? No? No? But the hard you know,
I'm very good at arithmetic hens when I went to school. I want a
prize for arithmetic? You want a prize for aristo? Oh? Yes,
lovely thing. Teacher asked me how much? Two times twenty one? Yes?
And what was your answer? On the spur of the moment, without
thinking, I said thirty four? Yeah. You should have thought a little
bit, because that's wrang, I know, but I was closer to it
than anyone else in the class. Mister Sellon, how you making eye there?
Have you got the answer? Figured it out? Yet? But I
almost? Don't rush me now? Oh no, no, take it.
I can't. I've got ten different answers here. All you're doing great?
Yeah, oh I'm doing grand. Yeah, if you give me time or
getting more? Which one would you like? Which one would I like?
Yeah? Which one do you like? Mister Shepard? Them all they all
look good to me? Heady ALLOK for it? Fine, But suppose you
picked me out the one that is right? I haven't got to that one
yet. I haven't got Let's take a little more time, Okay, let
me get an algebray. What's that I'm gonna do it by your algebray.
Yeah, you're taking a long cut, an't you? That is you wanna
take a bus or something. Let's get on there. Listen McNaughton. How
much is six and six? Let's see six and six twelve? Six and
six? Oh no, no, six and six can't be twelve? No,
you're right, but eight and four twelve? Fine? Look, let's
leconum next time you go out and buy a hat where you kind of get
one with a head in it. Ye, yeah, do that when you
please, mister Shell. Are you still figuring? Yeah, ye're still figuring.
Yeah, I say, you know, in a minute, I'll have
a good three horse polly. Let's get on there. Imagine I had to
get three people who never went to school. Co was hard? Oh no,
I went to school, old boy, and I'm not there doing a
blackout. You want, I'll never forget my school days? Well, I
remember the day my teacher made me turn my face to the walls. Yeah,
what happened? Hagata broke? Please, mister McGrath, look, let's
try and get this answer for the young lady. The young lady was kind
enough to come up there. So let's try and get the answer for a
question. Help me go back to the halloween. Never made a halloween?
How are you making out, mister Sheldon? I got it. I got
it good. You mean you got the answer to the question. Yeah,
Buffalo, Buffalo, New York. Anything school. I'm still about the moment.
I'd like to remind our listeners at this point. The next week,
we're having as our special guest that Charley Boot. Yes, I know,
because that's naughty. I'm having Charlie Boots for dinner. You're having Shirley Booth
for dinner. Huh. I thought you were going to have roast beef Shirley
Booth. Boy do I love? Oh? I wish I had my tusio.
I'd wear it. Where is it? Oh? I loaded to my
cousin about a year ago. No, you did. Why don't you try
and get it back? Oh? I'm not going to dig him up just
for that now, Folks, you know what we mean when we say or
music here. I wish our sponsored would spend a few more dollars a year
or one day, as I was walking down the avenue, I met a
funny fellow with a funny he didn't have a brain cell working in his head,
but he was very happy. And this is what he said. It
paid to be ignorant. This is the Armed Forces radio circuit. It pay
should be ignorant, just like me. If best not to know too much,
be a dope. Your IQ shouldn't show too much, your brain shouldn't
grow too much weight And thing, I took my girl to dinner. We
had a wonderful team. They had to give my girl the check because I
couldn't read. So you see, it pay to be ignorant, have no
brain, be insane, just beginning to be. It paid to be ignorant, just like