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Don't reteal your woes. A miserable
habit, it grows as it is fed,

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a nuisance to friends and neighbors,
it brings to you more of the

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same kind. You will get what
you look for. Looking for trouble brings

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it. Don't imagine that you are
being put upon. Don't reteal your woes.

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Don't reteal your woes. Do you
think that it does you any good

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to go around with a long face, telling your tale of woe to everyone

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whom you can induce to listen to
you? Do you think that it does

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you any good? Do you think
it helps you to overcome your troubles or

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makes your burden any lighter? No, I don't believe that you think any

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such things. All your experience teaches
you that people don't like to listen to

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long drawn out tails of your troubles. They have enough of their own.

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Even those who are always ready to
lend a helping hand and to give what

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aid they can to one who needs
it. Resent being made targets for a

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continuous fusillade of troubles, woes,
griefs, et cetera. And you know

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very well that a constant repetition of
your own woes will only make them seem

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greater and more real to you.
And then the chronic retailer of woe grows

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to be like the journalist, develops
a keen scent for matter to be dished

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out to others. She needs it
in her business. When one gets into

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this habit of caring about tales to
her friends, she runs out of ready

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material and eagerly looks round for more
with which to supply the demand. She

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becomes quite an adapt at discovering insults, sneers, double meaning remarks, et

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cetera on the part of her friends
and relatives, where nothing of the kind

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was intended, And she rules these
things over and over in her mind like

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sweet morsels, before she serves them
up with appropriate trimmings to her listeners.

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You will notice that I say her
in speaking of the victim of dis demoralizing

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habit, and some of my readers
of that sex will undoubtedly take me to

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task for blaming it on the woman
in instead of the men. Well,

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you all know my ideas about the
equality of the sexes, about their being

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different, but one being as good
as the other, with the odds a

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little in favor of the woman.
But I feel justified in saying that this

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habit is one that seems to have
a special liking for women, and it

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generally picks out a woman for its
victim in preference to a man. When

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a man acquires this habit, he
becomes such a nuisance to his friends and

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associates that sooner or later he will
notice that they avoid him, and the

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chances are that some blunt fellow will
tell him that he has no time for

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listening to tales of this kind,
and that if he, the complainer,

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would display the same energy in attending
to his business that he does to peddling

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around tales about how badly he has
been used, he would not need any

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sympathy. But woman, God bless
her, does not like to hurt the

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feelings of others in this way.
She suffers the infliction in silence, and

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then tells her friends how she has
been bored. She will listen to her

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whoe retaling friend and seem to sympathize
with her and say, oh, isn't

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it dreadful? How could she speak
so harshly of you, you poor dear,

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How you must have suffered? How
could he have treated you so unjustly?

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And other things of that kind.
But when the visitor goes, she

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yawns and says, dear me,
if missus Groan would only try to say

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something more cheerful. She gives me
the horrors with her tales about her husband,

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her relatives, her friends, and
everybody else. But missus Groan never

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seems to see the point, and
she adds to her list of people who

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have put upon her as she goes
along, her tired out friends being added

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to the number as their patience wears
out. And then the effect upon the

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woman herself. You know the effect
of holding certain lines of thoughts, of

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autosuggestion, of the attractive power of
thought. And you can readily see how

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this woman makes things worse for herself
all the time. She goes around with

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her mind fixed upon the idea that
everybody's hand is against her, and she

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carries about with her an aura that
attracts to her all the unpleasant things in

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the neighborhood. She goes around looking
for trouble, and of course she gets

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it. Did you ever notice a
man or a woman looking for trouble?

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And how soon they found it?
The man looking for a fight, it

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generally accommodated the woman looking for slights
always gets them, whether the giver intends

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them or not. This sort of
mental attitude fairly draws out the worse in

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those with whom we come in contact, and the predominant thought drows to itself

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all the corresponding thought within its radius. One who dwells upon the fancied fact

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that everybody is going around trying to
injure him, treat him unkindly, sneer

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at him, slight him, and
generally use him up is pretty sure to

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find that he has attracted to him
enough people who will humor his fancy and

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give him what he expects in thought
force. You will remember, I tell

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the story of the two dogs.
The one dog, dignified and self respecting,

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whom no boy ever thinks of bothering. The other dog, who expects

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to be kicked by every passing boy, and who draws himself up and places

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his tail between his legs and actually
suggests the cake to the passing boy.

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Of course, he gets kicked.
It's wrong for the boy to do it,

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I know, But the dog's attitude
is too much for the nature of

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the average boy. And grown ups
are built upon the same plan. These

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people who are going around in the
mental attitude which invites unkind treatment generally manage

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to find some one who will have
his natural meanness drawn out to such a

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convenient lightning rod. And in fact
such people often generate harsh feelings in persons

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who scarcely ever manifest them. Like
attracts like in the world of thought,

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and one draws upon him the things
he fears in many cases. But one

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of the most regrettable things about this
woe retailing woman is the effect the habit

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has upon her own mind and character. When we understand how one is constantly

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building up character, adding a little
every day, and that our thoughts of

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the day are the material which are
going into our character structure, it will

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be seen that it is a matter
of the greatest importance what kind of thoughts

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we think. Thoughts are not wasted. They not only go out in all

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directions, influencing others, attracting persons
and things to ourselves, but they have

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a creative effect upon our own mind
and character. Thought along a certain line

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will develop certain brain cells to a
great extent, and the cells manifesting the

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contrary line of thought are allowed to
dwindle away and shrivel up. Now,

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when we have our minds fixed upon
the thought that we are long suffering mortals,

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and that everyone else is trying to
do mean things to us, that

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we are not appreciated, and that
those who should care most for us are

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only biding their time until they can
hurt us. We are building up our

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minds along that line, and we
find ourselves in the habit of looking for

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the worst in everybody, and we
often manage to bring it to the surface,

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even if we have to dig hard
for it. Some of this class

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of people seem to take a particular
delight in bringing upon their head the harsh

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words and slights of others. Now
I really mean this. I have seen

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people go around with that I'm a
warm of the dust, please tread on

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me air, and the same expression
as that in the eyes of the dog

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which expected to be kicked. And
when somebody would be nagged into saying or

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doing something that they would not otherwise
have thought of, the wool seeker's eyes

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would assume an expression of I told
you so, and it's only poor me,

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and it's all I can expect.
Everybody wishes to crush me, and

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a few other assorted thoughts of that
kind. And then she will go to

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her room and moan and weep and
dwell upon her miseries until they seem to

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be as large as a mountain.
And then the first chance she gets,

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she'll run around the corner to a
friend and will reteal all the new stock

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of wooes which she has accumulated with
fancy trimmings. You may feel sure,

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and the friend will try hard to
avoid showing that she's bored at the tale

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she has so often heard, but
will say nice little things until the mourner

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is sure that the whole world sympathizes
with her, and she feels a glow

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of righteous indignation, self pity,
and martyrdom. Oh the pity of it

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all. These people go through the
world making things harder for themselves, their

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friends, their relatives, and everyone
else with whom they come in contact.

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They are constantly seeking to keep their
stock fresh and attractive, and display more

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energy in their retailing than the average
man or woman does in business. This

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thing of looking for trouble is a
very unfortunate thing in families. As a

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rule, I think that woman gets
the worse of it in family troubles.

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The economic position places her at a
disadvantage and she often suffers all sorts of

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horrible things rather than have her troubles
made public. But I must say that

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some women bring upon themselves all that
they get. I have known them to

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get in a frame of mind in
which they could see nothing but unkindness,

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where the utmost kindness was meant.
Man is not an angel, far from

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it. But the attitude of some
women is enough to bring out all the

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qualities other than angelic. They assume
that they are put upon and live up

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to that idea. Every word that
the man says is twisted and disorted into

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something entirely different from what he intended. The mental attitude produces moral astigmatism,

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and things are seen at the wrong
angle. All the little things that happened

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are promptly retailed to some mischief making
neighbor, who is in the game for

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the excitement it affords her, and
who laughs at the wife behind her back

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and talks about her in turn to
some third person. And the wife fairly

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draws upon herself all sorts of things
that never would have happened otherwise. She

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knows that her neighbor is waiting for
today's budget of news, and she almost

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unconsciously shapes things so that the facts
justifying the news are forthcoming. Did you

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ever notice that woman who keeps her
troubles to herself does not have nearly as

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much pickering and strife in her household
as the one who has acquired the retailing

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habit. Don't retail your woes.
Keep them to yourself and they will die.

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But spread them and they will grow
like weeds. You are making things

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worse for yourself, are drawing things
to you, and are spoiling your mind,

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disposition, and care character by this
miserable business of retelling woes
