For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world. This is
the many bit Stiltoe corn is alive and kicking mun over here. I'll hit
but your ass a couple of times. You you know what I'm saying.
This brother breaking on the forty yard. But this brother, Come on,
sid, I hope I didn't kiss off. Jesus you call that a penalty's
number one? That was number one. It's the La Clippers. Shut up,
you're staying it for all people. I would get a pregnant They just
called in and hangs up. Your mother fucker that can kiss me off?
Are you? Are you in the shower house totally in the show? Yeah,
he's not a coach. Can give me James stupid. You're a super
idiot. For get soup up tight over literally to clearly why I will lie
for attention my life at start y'all you're coming, Oh yeah, we got
it. I can robot Hi, everybody, Welcome to Punch Trunk Sports.
My name is Jason Tebow. My friend's calling with a Teva that includes you
and with us at a wee work apparently is Johnny Woodard. Am I saying
that right? You got it. We work, We work. Yeah,
right, it's a very engine. Now I know, I'm assuming you're at
your studio, which I saw in my trip to Los Angeles. No,
no, I'm gonna we work. That's Phil right there, right there,
Filly, take care of headphones out, Philly, you fagot See. Now,
I was gonna go the other way because I'm I was gonna wonder.
Either feels very tan, bald white guy or he's a twenty year old bald
black guy. One of the two. Either's a dad bought it for it.
He's just a fucking jet because he's blurry. But we worked. Is
a super twink. He actually is one of those people that wears a butt
plug that looks like a tail and you can just see the but he wears
like really short shorts and you can see the bottom of the tail coming out
of his shorts. It's weird. There's a butt flug. There's a buck
flug that has like a raccoon tail hanging out of it. Is you're telling
me this, I believe that it's true. How absolutely? Yeah? Well,
it's it's like it's one of those things that like the furries, dude,
that's how they get their little tails sometimes, of course, I mean,
how would this not have done them? You know what, Sometimes your
brain just doesn't go down, down, down a track. Yeah, and
so then you don't really sound everything out. And then when somebody tells you
about that, he go, oh yeah, fuck, I bet you,
I bet you, I bet you, I bet you do. It's a
real thing that makes I would if that was me, it would be a
fucking I would have. But I would have a beaver tail. I mean
more so I can patch it down with it, wipe off my clubs,
clean a putter with my beaver plug. Beaver plug, I got a pitchack
to run. Is easy hanging on the jobbing that down. Yeah, because
it's a good one. He can't deny you. He cannot deny that that's
a good cannot Johnny. It was good everybody I got to meet Now,
I did a I was still like for a month ish. Uh. And
I can honestly say I met somebody that Johnny said was his girlfriend that he's
been claiming for years. I think that she was a prostitute that he or
actor actress that he hired for the night. She came with a sack tag.
I will say that this was around her ear when when I got her
so verified, you scanned that little QR code right there, and you can
I can hear your girlfriend. What's that now I gave you can just look
up all her credentials, like her breeding stock and all that stuff stock the
new service they're doing. See, I would imagine with you her favorite position
is running you know that running emoji where Oh yeah, yeah, I think
that's her favorite position with you, for sure. Her climbing out a window
while a bathroom window, that's her favorite position. None of the down you
would think that, But none of the windows opened, rope made of sheets.
None. We're on the first floor. As you know. You also
visited my place with Angelo. He was here. I did come back hot
spot John's great had some great pizza with us. That pizza was good.
You know, I gave that to an Italian family. Angela's parents are Italian,
and I go, hey, man, I brought you over a couple
of slices, this real good pizza. And his dad, who I do
a good impression of, says it was more like a sandwich, A very
good of being. Yeah, it was more like a sandwich, right,
but it was fucking delicious um Prince Street Pizza. Check it out I get.
And that's not even paid sponsorship. It was delicious. I gave your
girlfriends reminded me forgot about the ship the night you guys came in the comedy
starting and I had to go up last, and I told your girlfriend,
I go, you're about to this is about to be like this is going
fourteenth in a ten person gang bag. That's what that said. But I
have found with it anyway. But it was so fun. I'm not complaining
it. I was happy too. But I had given your girlfriend a bunch
of pot yes to hold for me, and then and then I just plumb
forgot about it, so busy without everything where oh, I have no idea
where hang on to that For me, it was lunched by good friends at
Speedweed and they had given no no, no, not spewed. Uh it's
uh oh shit um farmer and the farmer and the felon. Yes, okay,
I want to give him a proper shot out. But he had all
these like pre roll joints and all that, and I was leaving them like
two days and I couldn't fly with that much pot. And so I had
a couple. I mean, I okay, every time I can go in
the green room, I'll come back and I sit next to Johnnie fair girlfriend
and I'll go, hey, you want to joint? She be like,
oh sure, And I go, how about dam throw that in your purse?
And as you get Hannon a bit more and more and more pot and
I thought of it. Next took to Johnny. I must say, I
gave your girlfriend something the whole for me. What you don't know what she
happened? So are you keeping up with this deal to buy the Washington Commanders
because it's really strange. What's happening now? Have you have you seen this
latest development? So they Dan Snyder had I'll just recab it. Dan Snyder
had agreed to sell the team in principle to something called the Harris Group for
about six billion dollars, and then yesterday a seven billion dollars all cash offer
came out of nowhere, apparently from the guy uh from the from that guy
Brian Davis, who's like with Christian Latner. You know they were they went
to school together. And it almost a full billion of of it would be
delivered within twenty four hours. And people just have all kinds of questions about
like where where they getting this kind of scratch, you know, and and
maybe who's like behind it. It's super super interesting at a lot of questions,
and you know, NFL is not in the habit of just selling football
teams to people who they don't know where all the money's coming from, where
all their future money's going to talk. Each team has their own ray down
and been sniffed out whoever the fuck it is. They get the FBI looking,
and they got the irs looking, and they were to make sure everything
because the last thing the NFL wants is to find out that they sold a
team to somebody's great grandfather was a fucking major Nazi in World War Two,
you know what I mean, and he's total party over. The NFL was
disappointed. The other six billion, by the way, would be delivered within
seven days, So you get a billion dollars within the first day, and
then six billion and by the end of the week. It's what would be
in his bank account if he sold it to that if he was able to
sell it to that group, and there's nothing he'd like to do more than
screw the NFL on his way out, and of course he would like an
extra billion dollars. Who wouldn't, I mean times are tough these days.
They the NFL was anticipating about a seven billion dollars sale here and now don't
forget the NFL gets their cut of this too. They were anticipating to go
for seven and they were disappointed that it wound up being just six point one,
but they were pumped and stoked to get rid of his jackass. So
like, you know, we take a little bit of a bath. We
still made money on it, but we got this fucking guy out of the
neighborhood. Basically, it would make the guy the first black owner in the
NFL. Though if this other bid comes in, and like there's they're saying
that he's like a and I wish Sam was here for this because he would
have all he would be all over this. They're saying, he's a green
developer and he just had a bunch of intellectual property. Listen, I'm just
gonna listen to this. During his capital raise period for this, investors realized
that he had a fifty billion dollars valuation for his assets and intellectual property.
So they were just like, oh, you know, you're Ip's really like
worth fifty billion, bro, why don't you just sell that? And that's
where he got he just got. He didn't know that, I guess,
And now he knows that, and he's got the seven billion dollars in cash.
Something weird about that, dude. It's really strange. I don't even
fully understand it. I mean, I mean, I guess he had like
patents on a lot of green technology, you know, you know, modern
sort of you know, a green technology means, I mean it's not not
fossil field burning shit, and then you get a lot of government subsidies to
develop it. So yeah, I mean there's something really bizarre going on there.
I got one green technology, bam, that's what the kids are all
talking about. Billions of dollars being hands right now. So what's the rage
green technology? How about this one pissing the champagne called shampass? What's green
about that? I don't understand, because now you're not pissing, you know,
and flushing the toilet and all that. You're turning your piss straight And
it's good for the Asknats. Asternats can get drunk on that ship. Tang
shampiss, mamoshop, how about you just pee outside. Yeah, but then
how you gonna get drunk? Yeah, but but you're talking about what you're
talking about watering down the champagne, so you're actually getting less drunk. Well,
I can understand you're you're piss might be actually a little more alcoholic using
our technolog Johnny, we're using our green technologies and you're pissing on like champagne,
grapes and shit. And then oh, so you've developed the technology that
can turn piss into alcohol is what you're saying. It's in our development stages
right now. But yeah, but we're closed. You're close. I almost
got drunk on my third gallon the other day, So I mean in the
first two gallons, just the first one didn't go down smooth, it all
fell on it. The second one, you know, you started getting hankering
for it. How many guys had to pee in your mouth for that?
Um, No, it was mostly my piss. And then a couple of
buddies that I was golfing with and I was, you know, collecting,
and yeah, we're not there yet, but we're getting there. A lot
of fun of everybody n the nineteenth The nineteenth hole is your mouth. There's
a T shirt my friend. Yeah, that's that's got to be the name
of this episode. Generally I write it down because we always forget it.
But the nineteenth tal is your mouth. I played. I told you I
played golf out there. Yeah, yeah, you did, yeah yeah.
And it took a long time. It took a long time, about six
hour round and I rented clubs. Me and Josh Martin both didn't have clubs
with us because he came out for WrestleMania, so he goes by, you
will just rent one set. Josh Martin is how many inches shorter than you?
I was solid what six inches shorter than you? I'm six five in
heels and he's four nine. No, really, he's like four or five
inches short on you, right, at least he's solid four inches short on
me, absolutely, but shorter than I am. He's shorter than you.
Yeah, and I'm five ten, five eleven something like that and he's like
five No, he's short. He's probably five eight broye eight and a half
and you're what six something, right, I'm like six even basically, Okay,
all right, that's king. Guys? Did they work for I?
Rever? You do you kind of split the middle, like get them in
and getting in the rate, getting matter. They had five sets of clubs
that were all the same, these first price both fucking clubs were so terrible.
And when I got you playing again, Bobo Balboa Park, Okay,
yeah, that's not a bad course. So it's a wide open but it's
not bad, not bad at all. And they have two course too,
their thirty six holes there, the Pulvic Course, Balboa Course. I found
that out the hardway because I show up and I'm the first one there,
and uh uh, guys like, hey, what's your forcing name? I
go, fuck, I don't know, uh waitress rob Ryan, the manager,
and a guy that talks like this, and are any of those guys
here yet? You know, I don't know these people last names and shit,
And I got no more two times nine ten, He goes, okay,
here you go. You're just first one here. He goes too early
to get your cart, but here's your clubs. Like, all right,
I'm gonna go put for a while. I'll come back and get the cart.
These guys show up, they go in them on the putty green,
they pay, they check in, are going to get the cart, and
he goes, who who are you buddy, who are you playing with?
I go, I'm talking about it. It was good your guys showed up.
They don't know who the fuck you are. What the guys saying?
I go, I was just talking to him on the fucking putty green,
the guys, I was just talking about things. He looks in. He
had me on the other course over the one, and those guys show up
and they go, hey, your your fourth is already here. That's him
right there putting needles. I don't know who the guy. Then I come
in. The guy's giving me a fucking because I didn't know. There's those
people that work at those golf courts, those Publinx places. Man, they
have the shittiest attitudes. Bro, the old white men that are mad about
something. They all seem every guy that work, every old white guy over
the age of fifty fifty, I'll say fifty that works at a golf club
golf fucking you know where you walk in. They all seem like the kind
of people that would have stored in the Capitol or perhaps did score to store
from the well. They just all seem to hate people golfing there. They
hate everybody golfing. I don't get the wouldn't have jobs if it wasn't them.
Yeah, it's a weird it's a weird character thing. So they give
me these Fisher Price fucking clubs that me and Josh Martin are sharing. They're
so dirty, look like fred. They five balls there, Yeah about about
three balls. Yeah, that's that's about ambitious. I would say. Came
back with two. I plugged one. That's good, all right. Nothing
in the drink, not much water on the horse. Yeah, still play
back because I had no idea what I was swinging with these fucking crazy clubs.
I mean they were really like on the back it's at my first clubs,
and they had a bunch of fucking like pictures of you know, animals
on the fucking goddamn thing. Um. But I see Tony Hinchcliff for one
night. Tony blessed everybody with his presence. Blony Hinchcliff. Listen to what
this guy says. So he's so fun a ship, I said, Tony,
And it was great to see him. But you know, I'm not
sucking. But here's where Tony gets to be able to go, Oh you
haven't changed much. I go ahead, buddy, I heard you've been golfing
about it. I'm just gonna come come out to Austin. I'll bring my
club. We can make a bunch of us can play some golf. Oh,
I play every day. I am dollars. You know he stays doing
that kind of ship. I go, dol he played fucking must play a
shitload. I go, what's your fucking handicap? How don't now I don't
really keep a handicap? And okay, well, like, what's a good
day for you? What's about I'm just trying to figure out what this guy,
you know, this guy offer or maybe he's just fucking a being tony,
And I go, give me, like, what's what's a bad day
for you? What's a good you know? What's what score would get you
to call your friends and be like, you won't believe what I fucking did
today? And what score would like you be you couldn't sleep because you're so
mad at yourself. His first number is one on four, And in my
head, I go, okay, yeah, this guy twenty eight handicapter.
His second number is eighty two. What no? And I go, You're
full of shit. There's no way you're ran if you can shoot an eighty
two. You never shoot anything in the hundreds. It's impossible using one club
all day. Nobody that shoots in the mid to low eighties never cracks above
in ninety two ninety three. Their worst day is in ninety six ninety seven.
I mean, I could see if you really take, if you take
your penalties and like you go out of bounds a few times, or getting
the water buds and go to drop and refuse to go to drop zone.
Like I could see you getting up in the nineties. But that's when you
said one on four. I expect that second number to be about a ninety.
I've ninety three something like that. Yeah, what's he talking about about?
Ninety seven? Usually this motherfuckers got the rink. Like I mean,
sometimes I shoot an eighteen, sometimes I shoot at two hundred. I was
like okay, I was like, oh, oh yeah, I bet.
Yeah. It sounds like you really got your fucking I mean, maybe we'll
play for money when I come to Austin. I don't know. I mean,
I know I'm like it and I'm gonna take it eree dollars. If
you said team, I'll give you a one hundred thousand dollars in cash.
It is a pillowcase full of one hundred dollar bills, or you could take
door number two and you beat the shit out of Tony Hinchcliff in golf.
And the entire thing is a two hour event on YouTube and it's out there
in the universe forever. I'm not gonna I just don't say give me the
money. And I'm very poor. You know, I broke I him.
I just had to pay for a thousand dollars two. Yeah. I probably
they would take the YouTube golf really after the way he was talking the other
day, I go, oh, man, I would love to get me
something. This must be one of your one four days a lot. That
must be a spectacle to see. Hey, I'm willing to bet it happens
tomorrow when no one's around. Yeah. Yeah, funny funny that How how
he just I'm so good with nobody there, It's amazing. Yeah, he's
one of those. I'm a comedian who performs in front of people literally five
days a week. Yet I can't golf in front of anybody. Uh all
right, how excited are you for this? Uh? Not, I'm not
excited. NFL Draft coming around the close. Yeah, I am excited.
I am excited. By the time this comes out, we will be about
eight days away, I would say, from now, are they doing a
Thursday prime time and then Friday and Saturday? Again? Friday is going to
be around, I think, so. Yeah, I haven't heard anything about
it changing, so let me let me check it out. I kind of
like that, except where I know the NFL's getting me is they're stealing three
days for me and they know it. Oh yeah, I loved I like
the week. I like the old way. I like the old way.
You like fucking all day Saturday, all day Sunday? Yeah, I dude,
I would just I love sitting down there and fucking sitting down the whole
time and just watching every pick. But I get that it's better. We
get way more trades, you know, teams have a chance to kind of
re evaluate after the first day and and make offers and move around and jockey
and so yeah, I it's better for the teams in the NFL and the
product, but it's not better for my entertainment. I don't think that makes
sense. I don't know. I just Thursday, cool, we blow out
the first round, that's the exciting shit. Anyway, then round two and
three on Friday, cool, hang out with the buddies, have some beers,
order some the pizza, and knocked that out. Saturday, you're pretty
from four you get through that and then you go, yeah, okay,
you know what, I'm gonna go fucking mow the lawn or I'm gonna go
yeah, play some go whatever the fuck, and then Sunday you got back
Sunday. I just felt like the old way it was easier, especially for
the first part of the draft, to keep track of guys that were falling,
you know what I mean, Like, okay, he still flights the
third round now, and you know, quarterback X hasn't been picked, which
that doesn't happen anymore. No, but no quarterbacks ever make it the third
round. The aren't good. But yeah, it was easier to follow those
kind of threads, you know, the narratives, and now it's like kind
of gets chopped up, but whatever. Also, you know that whole day,
that whole night, like the next day before the draft starts, and
that night they're just chewing over the same story over and over again, and
it's just like, okay, let's let's watch it. Watch the fucking draft.
The NFL is a kind of beating a dead horse. They really yes,
I mean in a super Bowl seems like I mean I'm already seeing super
Bowl commercials. I'm like, you don't even know who's in it. Why
are we talking about the super Bowl? Who are you hearing about? Who
the Falcons are gonna take? Um? Well, I mean everyone has their
theories. I could see a lot of things happen in the facts. No,
what the Falcons were smart at is they had so many positional needs but
so much money that they filled every single spot that we had a hole in
to kind of not paint them into a corner. Like a lot of people
are like, oh this shit, so they can take the best player,
right, and they're kind of like, Okay, no, I love the
three or four Maybes that fell to us. What what what kind of plugs
in here? Good? So I can easily see the Falcons taken uh the
ars a line from the Northwestern Scunsky. Yeah, who's the best line?
Our only hole is left guard about the he'll fall? I think he will.
I think he can fall. And I think that the Falcons are in
a good place because the Bears would kind of want them, and they're right
behind us, so anybody that, let's say, the four or five guys
that we really got a boner for at eight are gone and the phone starts
ringing because Carter's there and they don't want us to take him, but we
don't want them. I mean, we just got fucking amgnada from the Saints.
We already got great Jared and then we got clay As Campbell. We
don't need fucking forward great tackles when we can't put them all on the field
at the same time. And they know the Bears got a boner for this
guy. Hey, you guys are four three team. We're well, we
just got any defense coordinators, so we're gonna be running with the Saints have
been running for the last couple of years. We've basically got the Saints defensive
coordinator and they do kind of a mix. I mean everybody doesn't mix.
Yeah, yeah, but with our linement that we have, I think we're
gonna be running a three four. We just finally went We just finally committed
the three to four of the season for the first time in a long time.
I think there could be four three a lot with with the defensive lineman
and we picked up so I can see our phone ringing, and somebody that
really wants Carter the suwhere around twelve, maybe the Steelers around seventeen. I
hear they got a voter for the kid, and we fall back picked up
a first rounder next year or another second rounder this year, and now we're
at twelve, and maybe we can get b John Robinson. Dude, you
might down in that range even exactly, so I can see us dropping back
down. But if not, I can see us going be Jon. I
can see us going offensive Lineman. I can give vans from Iowa. I
can see us going from fucking Texas Tech. Or here's the last CBS mock
draft. They got us taking c J. Stroud at the top there,
which I you know, honestly, the more I watched like tape and people
evaluating these guys on YouTube, I'm like, I think you gotta take Bryce's
young just because he's he's the better quarterback he is. I think they on
the field and just see what happen. I mean, it could fuck you
up, man, it could fuck the franchise up and set us back.
But man, I think he's also got the chance to be Don't you think
he's got a better chance to be like a generational talent kind of guy than
Stroud. Like Stroud, he's got a high floor, dude. He will
be a even in his worst, I think he'll be a solid backup for
a long time. Might even be a like a you know, like a
sort of what would you say, like an Andy Dalton level starter something like
that, who was you know, like a good quarterback for a little while.
Solid. But Bryce Young has the potential to be Russell Wilson and if
he can, you know, not get creamed. So the more I think
about it, the more I'm like, we should take Bryce Young. But
we'll see people the rumors are are are all that temper? The owner likes
Bryce Young? Uh Now, I don't know how anybody would know that unless
they leaked it, which I can't imagine effort the rest of his UH visits
today, would you say Bryce Young canceled all of his breast to those visits
to days, I'm going to visit with anybody else? And the only two
teams he visited where are you going in the Texans? And then he canceled
all of his other visits and the sex he knows he's going one or two?
Could you see them? Trading out of two of the Texans. Uh,
may or maybe like the Cardinals move jumping the Texans if they there's all
there's been all this talk about somebody trying to move into two, and I'm
just trying to think who it would be. Anyway, So they got Bryce
the CBS. The last mark has Bryceon going to plus Indianapolis. Yeah,
maybe Will Anderson going three, but I think Indianapolis likes Anthony Richardson and they
got him going four here. Uh, Tyree Wilson going five to Seattle,
van Ness last six to Detroit. They got Vaness, Lucas van Ess.
You know, the edge rush rout Iowa. They guy you're talking about six
to Detroit. Seven they got that's the Raiders, Christian Gonzalez the cornerback out
of Oregon. Then they got you guys taking Jalen Carter. They have at
nine the Bears. The Bears taking Paris Johnson. Uh you know that tackle
out of Ohio State. I'll just round out of the top ten here,
Devin Withers spending the cornerback out of Illinois going ten to the Eagles and any
when they just lost one, I like, uh, you know, and
how's the time where I know I know so much about all these kids because
I probably just spend an hour a day just fucking around on my iPad before
I wake up in the morning. I love draft, dude, I love
it. I have always loved the NFL Draft. I love when you could
draft and Madden when they got that fucking going. Damn mean, dude,
I love that. Yeah. Losing my girlfriend this summer, Yeah, this
is a wrap. Absolutely. Do you have you ever been? I would
love to go. I've never been. I went both years in Chicago.
How was it? Was it really boring or was it kind of cool?
It was a fucking ball last bro. I don't know how the Kansas City
one's going to be, but dude, it was a fucking ballast, a
big party. I mean, it's like it's like Coachella for football. Yeah,
that sounds great. There's one gigantic like Amphitheater, like outdoor Amphitheater where
they're announcing the players and they come up, you know the thing you see
on TV Roger Bell comes out and I'm telling you there's fucking eight thousand people
in there at any given time, and it's a fucking gigantic like you know,
gigantic park, I mean, and every NFL team has its own store.
So you walk in there all the same like these little kind of like
small almost like a bedroom or living room of your apartment. There's just like
one person working. You walk in there and it's every jersey for your it's
all just your ship. You don't have to walk into a shell store and
like where are the Panthers has? You just walk into the Panthers tent and
all it's all Panthers shit. So they have one of those teams places where
you can take photo opportunities. They have what they described as the biggest beer
tent in the world, and I think they said they had six hundred bartenders,
yeah, in one working in one beer tent, and I think it
was something like I don't get thousands of taps going at once and he's walking
in there by beers whatever the fuck. And they have all these things you
could do, like you could kick a field goal trying to get his weight
in line and it's like, okay, you're turning, Oh I see.
It sounds kind of like fan Fast. The Final Four. They had a
lot of that stuff, like where you could you know, they have one
thing that was a badass. That was the you're up against the wall and
there's forty yard gash and it's like a like a black wall next to you.
And there was a handful of players and it was like all led lights
or whatever the fuck. And so you could put like Dion Sanders or a
fat offensive lineman or something. There's like five people that had crazy good fucking
uh and maybe rich eyes and too might him in his for your dash run
thing. Put it in and then when they said go, and then you
run the forty or dash and then it literally looks like you're running against Dion
when he ran his forty in college. Oh that's you get to see how
close you would be to fucking how far you are. But yeah, exactly,
you know what I'm saying. And then or like a you know,
somebody that ran it real slow, like an offensive linement ran in like eight
seconds. I can you beat yet, you know? But that's cool.
Yeah, So that was cool, and all that shit you just wait in
line for and then there's different VIP tenants and all that kind of bullshit.
Dad and all around through the day. You know, you get a schedule
because I went all three days or two days I went. I didn't go
the primetime night. I watched the Thursday one, and I went on Friday
and Siday. You get a schedule of just like a music festival where they're
like, hey, in the north West tenth uh, Mike Chick is gonna
be speaking and taking questions for from ten to eleven and know all kinds of
shit like that you can do. And it's fucking food, trucks and shit
everywhere. It's all super super fun. So the Eagles finally bit the bullet
on Jalen Hurts. Did that contract one hundred and seventy nine million guarantee two
hundred and fifty five million dollars total on the table there. It's the biggest
in terms of average value in NFL history, even beating Deshaun Watson's contract.
So the trend continues. M this is one area where Tripley and I agree.
Okay, you know a lot of things he's said don't make much sense
to me. For example, we've you can't go to outer space, and
then thirty seconds layer, I was trying to tell me that there's a military
base on Mars. Dude, he talked shit about you on Broken Sam about
how like you try to talk about him like you know, shit about space,
Like I know, shit about space is basically his attitude. And you
tried to talk about like, you know, shit about stick space. Uh
huh, it was. It was great. It was any kind of space
trivia. It's just who's judging it, you know what I mean? And
like, if we had Neil de grass Tyson on the show, I would
say, let's talk about space. You know, he's got some guy with
a beaver butt plug and uh, you know, fucking rain. Make fun
of him. Hey, he's just working hard back there. Don't make fun
of him. Okay, my bad, My bad, Bruce. But that's
hilarious day. And you know, all we were talking about was the moon.
And then he said some stupid shit about the moon and he saw the
look that I gave. We're in the parking lot of the comedy store,
and he saw the look I gave him, and I was like, nah,
I'm not even gonna engage in this. And he had a look in
his face like, oh, oh, chells me, bro tells me about
the moon being flat. I go, oh, you know what started it?
I saw it documentary that was very convincing about aliens having a structure on
the on the on the on the dark side of the moon, and I
mentioned it to him, ask him if he had seen it, and that
got him too. Well, first of all, space isn't a real like,
oh god, damn it, why did I done? I knew it.
I knew I shouldn't have done it. That's that's what that was.
Literally, the thing that he does, he gets to do like five he
says five different things that the moon are. He says, one, it's
a hollow base. He says, two, it's a portal through which souls
enter this realm. Yeah, you started rambling on that one, he said,
do tell me on that. He's I've heard him say before that it's
like some kind of like satellite or something from like ancient satellite. I mean,
well, which one is it? Yeah, you gotta pick one natural
saddle. But yeah, yeah, he means it's And so I go,
what what do you know about this thing? But I told him the documentary
and I it's pretty fucking interesting because I was just trying to start a conversation.
I know he likes all this stuff, and there's one that I thought.
I was like, wow, that's pretty Broking and some incredible people were
talking about it. That's why I asked Sam if he knew about this,
Actually, bro the moon's a portal too. For souls, I go,
God, damn it. I knew it was point in his face. I
knew I shouldn't have done it. And that's hilarious and that's really always said.
I didn't even argue with them about about space. What and where were
you for this easy outist sign your knockout? Did you see it live?
No? I didn't know. Well, I was. There was something else
on that I was watching. I can't remember what it was or No,
I wasn't home. That's what it was Saturday night. It was my last
Saturday night in La. I don't think I was home. I can't remember.
And you were some You were definitely somewhere because I remember asking you,
Yeah, something was going. I think I might have been working or something.
I can't remember. You told me about it, though, and then
I saw it on highlights. Yeah, oh boy, oh boy, it
was that great. That's so funny where he put the arrows in him after.
I've seen a lot of fun and people a lot of funny editing with
that one. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, it's this real scene really,
but that must have been the greatest feeling. And for someone like him,
a lot of times, you're the champ and you just you know,
so many, so many people. McGregor kind of went through, uh and
I would say ended him, but he doesn't change Aldo's life. A lot
of those people keep and they're like, oh man, I can't, I
can't get over this guy. I can't beat this guy. Can't And you're
already rich, You're you're already Rocky three, Robot Butler. Guy, you've
been the champ for five six years. He kind of ran through the division
twice. If I just signed you lost this fight, I don't know what
would have happened. I mean, does he go back down and clear out
the fucking division again? Does he just say fuck it? I'm already rich,
right, alant, I mean, I'm not gonna be. This guy's
already beaten me four times in a row now at every different level, and
it really showed me a lot about he might be the goat out of Sonya
of the goat. He might be you can say, all the way classes,
all the divisions, and to come back and beat a guy like that
that's so much bigger and have a rope a dope strategy like he did.
It shows how smart he is in a fighting game. I saw a video
of him super slow motion and when he kind of went up and crouched,
and how he set up every single punch and man at one point in the
time before he throws that first rite, you see his eyes look up and
he's looking through his own gloves waiting. He already knows what's coming. He
knows that he's just bathed this guy into throwing that punch and leaving his jar
right there. And it was so fucking impressive. That had to be the
peak of his career in the sense of that was the kill of all kills.
I mean, nobody has doubted him for a long time. You may
have been an underdog going into that fight us so going in there going like
everybody dials me no, But everybody forgot that I'm the greatest. Everyone forgot
that that guy I was winning that fight. He knocked him out last that
last fight with a minute left of the last round that goes to a decision.
He wouldn't even had to fight him this time again. He might be
two and over against him in the UFC. But man, my heart rate
was going nuts. I kept looking at my watch because it tells me my
heart shit, my ample watch thought I was dead. You know, should
I call nine runder one? Your hearts shouldn't be like this. And I
had a spot that night at the comedy store and in the belly room,
and that fucking fight was going on. I was losing my fucking marbles.
I had an illegal feed on my phone and I just sat in the fucking
front Pattio bar watching all the fights, and different guys kept walking by.
Oh shit, is that right now? Oh shit, it was just random
strangers. I look like a peacock of fucking every race in the fucking because
I was sitting down with my phone, every race of every guy from twenty
one to forty was standing over my head trying to fights. I'm trying to
hold it up for everybody, you know what I mean? How hard is
it to get an illegal stream to work on your phone? By the way,
with all those pop ups that you have to close, it's like infuriate.
I've absolutely got it down. I can do it, and I can
name that tune in two pop ups. It's like a nightmare though, right,
like just trying to click like it's just the right one. Fuck it
moves around. Yeah, sometimes it takes you to a different page when you
click the X and you're like, oh, I gotta start over. A
motherfucker. You have to earn. They make you earn it. I will
say sports surge will make you earn it, but I can get I'm pretty
i'd say ninety two percent successful. Um with those with fights and with NFL
games that are out of whatever they call that market they call it they do
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There America's number one meal kit. Now the YouTube thing? Have you heard
about this? So congrats Izzy? That was the great fight. I guess
they're running them back one more time, and why wouldn't they I mean that
trilogy will make all the money for the UFC, but a long deserve.
Great for Izzy because Jesus Christ. I mean, he was all focused and
that was a nerve wracking fight to watch. I'm excited to see. Uh,
Jake Paul and a good friend of the show, Nay Diaz, who's
called called in a bunch of times on the show. That's official, right
is it? Because see I I stopped Paul. He's turned into it.
You know, he's turned into a pumpkin now that he's lost. I just
this is Oh, is this the other Paul again? I get him confused.
No, this is Jake bar right, he's the one that lost.
Yeah, since he lost, I just don't care as much. Uh,
let's see. I just want to make sure that's officials. I mean with
both the Deda's brothers. Yeah, they are fighting. Yeah, they are
fighting. See if we have odds on that, how would you put the
odds on that? Das right? No, the odds on Wow, Dude,
Jake Paul's going off almost three to one favorite so well, one,
it's only boxing two. He is so much bigger. Yeah that's true.
Yeah, than n I just can't imagine losing to a YouTube. I'm worried
about Nate on this slow bad Yeah, Nate's only one seventy. Although he'll
come in heavier, Nat, He'll come in heavier, Yeah, I mean
sure, I mean I'm worried about it, though. I mean, I
would hate to see him get punched by this dipshit. I mean, I
get his great marketer blah blah blah, and I'm sure maybe the fixes even
in, but he ain't getting better at this point in his life. I
mean, I get what you're saying. It's like, yeah, but he's
so much bigger than I mean, he just hits harder Andy boxers all the
time. I mean he does. You know, as another guy, do
you question his work ethic? This guy's like, no show up. I
got fucking taking up. I do question him face. That's fuck up to
his faggot and then fucking the Piths fucking don't pay taxes, dog don't pay
I'm not gonna it's cash. He's told me this is gonna Apple pay me.
He never go through my body. When you said taxes there, could
you imagine something like, yeah, man, can you just Apple pay me
my three mil? That was That was actually The weird thing about this NFL
Dan Steinder thing is that he offered the guy offered to pay a billion,
the first billion in Apple pay when they were all like billions gotta be fed.
Moo, dude, really weird shut down to be like what does shit?
Can you imagine? But they go, hey, man, you've got
to put it in right away, so you get to from one percent of
it, like one percent of a billion dollars. That's crazy. Did you
see the other day that show Hay was making his sho Tani, who is
increasingly the most impressive person in baseball, was making his debut in Anaheim,
and they were maybe a tenth ful or something. I don't know, maybe
maybe a quarterfall, not even I mean just they don't give a shit about
baseball there in Anaheim. It seems like this shit about baseball down there at
whatsoever. I gotta go there and watch him play. I really want to
go see him play. That's also why when they were trying to bid for
the Chargers, they were like, fuck now, you guys, you can't
sell it. You had to fuck a World Series fucking team, and everyone
there is like what they fucking do? It's a weird place for a baseball
team, isn't it If if you don't live in LA or if you don't
live in this area, what would you say? Anaheim is like Jason because
it's not far from LA You can get there and with no traffic, you
can get there real quick from like Hollywood or from Los Angeles to it's probably
the equivalent of I'll tell you how many miles it is from where I am
on the West side. Almost it's thirty miles from where I am, so
probably forty miles from how It's probably the equivalent of I mean, how to
know what to put in terms of with traffic is ninety minutes away from me,
but it's with no traffic half away, and it's just long enough that
it feels well. One, you can clearly tell that you're in rich white
people place. Yeah, yeah, it's where Disneyland is too, and all
that stuff, rich white people place, and you feel you don't feel like
here's what I'll say, you don't feel like you're in Los Angeles. You
also don't feel like there should be an you're halfway to San Diego. It's
halfway to San Diego. That's what you feel like you are there just doesn't
need to be a baseball team between San Diego and LA. It's a strange
place for a team because I'm like, you're just as close to San Diego
as you are LA. Why are you claim in LA? And then I
mean, they tried to get away with calling themselves the La Angels for a
while the La Angels of Anaheim, which is just the biggest dumbest marketing thing
I've ever heard. Remember that the La Angels, I now California Angels.
That was a good brand. They should have stuck with that, California Angels
that they should have stuck with that. It was what something to do with
the stadium rights or something, right, they had to change it getting the
deal from the city. They had to change the name, I think or
something. Yeah, they're just not They're not. They got to the two
of the best players ever to play the game, and that people just don't
come see the Angels. It's it's kind of depressing, and it's a very
have you been in stadium? No? Never been? I want to.
It's very um. It feels like you're a Pepsi commercial or something. Doesn't
feel like a baseball stadium. Feels like an amusement park. A lot of
ads like add things and stuff is everything. Yeah, it's just Google.
It's goofy. It's like a giant baseball hat you walk under when you get
there. It's like it's just kind of goofy. It's a very universal,
kind of family friendly kind of thing, probably because it's Disney's right there.
Yeah, maybe it just doesn't feel like a ballpark like San Diego, Peco
Peco Field or Petco Park, whatever they call it. That's a beautiful guy,
Damn Basemis down there tonight. San Francisco's is beautiful. You know.
I was love love Wriggley. Uh, but that that one feels kind of
doesn't feel like I really wanted to go. But I will be visiting Chicago
and Champagne for a film, Champist. Bro We're gonna go. We're gonna
try to go to Wrigley to see. Uh. Watched the cups way the
Dodgers out there, Dodgers this weekend after by the respector brod these cups hat
here. Uh we just butt fuck the Dodgers. I was texting people on
texts, ever was talking shit. I was like, all right, you
know I got that classic joke that I always do where I go. Uh,
And I've been doing this fun for a fucking average and sometimes you do
it too. But I'll I'll be like, hey, what was the score
of the Dodgers game? I don't have the internet? Yeah, yeah,
you stole my bit, you asshole. You've done it, you started doing
it, you go, that's a classic gag. I think I'm gonna store
of that needle arsenal. I didn't even know you had an arsenal, But
you know what, kid, go ahead. It's the best, though.
It is the best when people fall for It's the funnest thing to do.
Oh dude, I use that fucking bit all the time, especially people you
know aren't watching the game and don't know what the score. That's it's I
mean, that's when it works the best. Somebody that you know has no
chance, but they care about the score, but they like they they had
something going on that day or something, and then you get him to look
it up and it's like their team lost by thirty or something. It's wonderful.
Johnny, are you gonna have said? Is it the same? Did
you rent the same girl for the Chicago trip? No? I didn't think
that was cost efficient because you didn't. You gotta pay for travel expenses.
No, So I'm going with a local, a local broad Yeah, and
you know what, she'll know the town better shaw Shaw. That's it.
Yeah, that's what I was saying. You get all the benefits of the
local knowledge. Girlfriend experienced that kind of thing. So no, no,
no, no, I'm definitely going local support local peak. Speaking of doing
that gag, I'm out there. I'm hanging out with Tianna. Shout out
to Sarah Tiana, friend of the show, beautiful, beautiful son. So
talented. This kid can hit a golf ball, he can hit a baseball.
He's oh is he? I think he will? He's thirty one and
no, I'm kidny. He's like three kids three. He was working.
I maybe he does a bat flip whenever he hits the ball, and then
he fucking while he's running on the basis and doing this with his finger.
That's it's hilarious. Bat flip bam, it's just a groundball, but flips
the bat. He just any rounds of basses like sevent eight times, you
know. Um, So we're fucking kicking in the hot time. I'm talking
to a guy, Chris and Chris Brockman serious husband, whatever is because Chris
Brockman from the Richison Show, He's been on this show before. But she's,
you know, contextually, um so you knows a lot about sports.
Of course, been talking about sports and we're talking about this. He knows
Andrew Sylvianos which having the same chats we have. He go ahead, bad,
by the way, about my Clippers, buddy, playoffs are register Give
me the Clippers that are about to get fucking uh swept. Guys don't even
have Paul George Clipps. Clippers are way overwhelmed one hundred and I go,
come on, man, it's first of all, we're in the hot.
Tip to that you're coming in too hot in the hot you know what I
mean. You got to come in chill in a hot time otherwise it gets
fucking too hot. And my fucking faint, you know, my blood tips
some fucking well. Red State's about to come out angle. You know,
we don't got to use the S word around the kid, you know what
I mean, own't say swept. Don't say the S word around the kid.
You know, kids around I go, I'm telling you, this team
is built for a playoff run. I'm not saying the Clippers are gonna win
this. They're gonna make it much more competitive than people think. And then
I wouldn't count the Clippers out. He goes maybe and maybe if you had
George back. But my sources are saying he's out for the fucking whole series,
which it looks like he is out for the whole series. Fine,
uh when in that fucking uh the desert and butt fucked them Clippers steel Game
one on the road and now it's any now any and it fucking and so
we're recording this is it Monday? Now? Game Tues tomorrow? Yes?
Yes, yes, Game two Tuesday. If when this comes out, if
the Clippers are up to nothing, Johnny, will you suck my dad?
Well? I mean I hate to tie it to an event like that.
Why don't we just say if they win or they lose, just so keep
our options open there. So I hate to just narrow it down because you
know, then there's a chance that I don't get to and I don't know
what kind of mug is that? What is that on that mug? What
is that? A? Is a? Okay? You know what do you
think? Okay? So we had a little discussion in the text threat about
this Russell Westbrook right comes through with some big defensive plays at the end,
rebounds and stuff. But he's three of nineteen plus or minus, he's minus
six. You know, he didn't contribute to winning overall. If you if
you, you know, and plus or minus is a flawed stat in some
ways. But it's hard to depend now what he is is like because he
can give you some some game breaking plays in the clutch. But you know
who he reminds me stop jacking the ball up, man, I tell you
who he reminds me of. Now, let's let's take away the shooting,
you know, because I think he has. Yeah, I mean that's the
most thing. But he is a he's a you know, a guard.
He needs to be able to shoot. You're right, But but let's say
let's say with George back in the lineup, there goes fucking twelfth shots that
he takes away from him. I think he pulled the trier a little a
little more because he's probably maybe had the role or felt the pressure. You
say that, like he doesn't have a track record of jacking up shots his
entire career. But hang on, I hear you I'm saying, take away
the shooting. Here's what he does for that team. He does everything that
Dennis Rodman did for the Bulls when it was Jordan and Pippo. Yeah,
if he could just stop. He's an annoying defensive player. He does all
the dirty work. He gets you your second and third shots. He plays
good defense, He makes smart plays without the ball, and he doesn't know
his offensive identity sometimes when the ball is in his hand. I would I
would like to see him take less shumps, smarter shots, and do everything
else exactly like he's dealing. And maybe when George comes back, he but
you know those nights where he's fucking you know, fourteen for seventeen, everybody's
like this, he's back. Yeah, I mean, this guy shoots threes
and he's panomizes inconsistent. He's had more seasons in the last decade over his
career, I think in the twenties from three twenty percent from three, then
in the thirties, and yeah, he still wants to shoot how many three
and four three pointers a game? He averaged four to three pointers a game
for the Lakers attempts, of course, while shooting twenty nine percent from three.
If he could just if he just stopped doing that, I mean,
it would be so much more valuable. That's why that's why he gets passed
around. I mean, you know, the bad contract of course, but
also that he just doesn't that that keeps him from contributing to winning as much
because he can't if he could just focus on the Robin stuff, which that
was Robin's great strength too, knowing what he was and why he was not.
You know, yeah, if you take away the shooting, I think
he plays a role. And that's why so many people were like they get
up in the morning and they took they see, you know, three for
seventeen or whatever, which is terrible, but and you see him in then
they go, hey, you know, he had a really great game and
did a lot of Fatino. How the fuck did he mean when you watched
that game? I mean I watched every I missed the first three minutes in
that game, h man. He I mean everything that he did, especially
in the fun stretches there, solidified him that win. Yeah, including trying
to beat that guy up and after the game or whatever, what did was
that? He's yeah, I saw that. Let me see, I have
no idea. I don't know. It looked like he was like in the
locker room or most pre locker room. Okay, So it turns out the
fan who Russell Westbrook sought out and went into an area that he wasn't allowed
to was because the fan called him west Brick. All those people talking about
security last night over a player upset because someone called him west Brick. That's
what they're saying. When I was he a heat guy or was he a
fucking I mean not keep a fucking sons guy? Okay, here it is
right here on Twitter. Fan duels Eddie Gonzalez said he was near the interaction
and claims the fan called Westbrook west Brick. The nickname is a reference to
Westbrook's shooting percentage, as the guard shot forty three from the field on the
season. During Game one, Westbrook produced three for nineteen shooting line, which
we talked about, which led to questions about his ability to make shots against
top teams. He can't shoot against top teams. It's a question. Uh
anyway, that's funny. Yeah, three for nineteen. Did I say three
for sixteen? Yeah, three for nineteen. I thought it was three for
seventeen. No, three for nineteen. So somebody called him Westbrook. Oh
here it is right, here's the video, holl I saw the video,
but it did starts when he's just going nuts, It doesn't. Yeah,
somebody called him Westbrook and then he went into the suits or something it loss
like and came after this guy. But for the benefit of the people at
home, I'll just queue this up here real quick. Here you go.
Well, that's not it. That's baseball. That's James get a porn.
No, it's the baseball scores. Where the fuck did the thing go?
Hold on? Just a second shot shore vamping vamping? All right, there
we go here. It is about the guys looking at the security was right
there, and you know what, the truth being told, west Westbrook.
West west Brook is lucky that scary was right there because if he had done
something stupid and then they, oh, he wouldn't be playing in the playoffs.
Yeah, I mean, and he's a guy like that. Well he
is very robbing mines in a lot of ways. Oh yeah, I mean,
I like him. I do like him. I just I wouldn't want
him on my team. You know, I got no problem with him.
I wouldn't want him on my team. I mean I'm glad they got him.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, I mean good for them.
I like why I much rather watch him on somebody else's team than mine,
is my point. I guess why because you don't want to hoop well that,
But also I just don't think he contributes to winning. You know,
he does those things, he does the things that people notice, you know,
like like makes the start, the shiny plays at the end, and
gets a lot of rebounds. But when you look at the overall expect I
mean, at this point in his career, obviously he used to be different.
Although I mean, you gotta say, dude, there were years there
where he was probably not contributing to winning as much as he could because he
was chasing triple doubles all the time. But yeah, I don't know.
At this point, I just don't think he I don't think he contributes to
winning that much for what you're gonna have to pay for it to get him,
you know what I mean? Yeah, Yeah, for sure, you
guys are definitely going to a top skimmingson. Yeah, I don't know which
one. I'm gonna try to get us some tickets, so shouldn't should be
expensive, I'm sure, but all the Dodgers bro on a weekend now that
the weather is getting nice. Although the whole series is now in the week
I think it starts on Thursday. We might try to go on like Thursday.
That'll be the cheapest one. I think probably that Thursday night. But
Thursdays three five hundred dollar bill knight for the first ten thousand people. So
I don't know. That's Matt dude. Have you ever been to Dodger Stadium
on those bobblehead nights and there are these people that go around and will like
steal them from you. I've seen people get him stolen. Some guy try
to steal one. He was like looking at it, He's like, I'm
gonna steal it. What do you say to me? He's like, you
better hope the boys. People will often to buy him from you because you
can go on. I've done this. I've paid for tickets to Dodger Stadium
by selling the bubbleheads after the game on eBay. They're worth a lot of
money, the bubbleheads and people. There are these kids there, these roaming
gangs of kids that just go around and grab them. Statue gangs of children
of all races. It really is I'm telling you they get together. I've
seen it. It's like a pack of four or five different ethnicities of eight
year olds. And if you want to comment me for the eight year old,
comment the ten year old. Yeah, yeah, I'm calling you out.
Ten year olds. I would say, like eight to fourteen year old
white kids from all boys and girls, their parents. I see a bunch
of private school educated kids. They're actually just a bunch of them. Parents
wouldn't go there and drinking the fucking stands and let their kids all play together.
And they go, where are you gonna go? Run around? Yeah?
Have you ever been to like India and you see people walking around and
they go, I got these new sunglasses and fucking fifty fucking hyenas or monkeys
come raising that. They steal their hat, they steal their food, and
they're just and then they run into the jungle with them. That's what kids
are. That's what it's like. Yeah, yeah, and hi hire you
go up the worst it gets, you know, closer to the field level,
you're you're safe, you know their security. There's not a lot of
crazy people like the sunshine. Once you get in the shade, you get
up to those shady seats and then but hide your purse, hid your fucking
wallet, hide your cell phone, hid your bibble heads. One time I
went to the Packers. Every year used to play a game at Milwaukee Stadium
nine. Yeah I remember that. Yeah, every year was a long time
ago, right, Yeah, it was in the thirties. Um, but
it was in the nineties though. Was when when they ended it and I
went to the last one because it was Knackers Falcons. Yeah, and I
didn't care. I didn't know. It was a big to do, decide
the Falcons are in town, you know. And somebody when I came out,
somebody bought my program for two hundred dollars. Really yeah, I go,
fuck yeah, problem, I go, fuck yeah, give me two
one hundred dollar bills. I go, fuck yeah. I was probably gonna
throw it in the fucking trash. I was gonna use it, you know,
maybe create some characters in Madden, uh that were on the because I
had the whole lineup and ship, but ship that had to be ninety three
ninety four somewhere right around there. It was kind of like a year or
two before I moved out Lane. Um. But yeah, I go,
I here you go, bro. I almost said I was gonna throw if
you followed me to the car, I was gonna throw it in the fucking
trash. But and I didn't. It didn't dawn on me. It was
like the last one ever, and Far oh it was okay. It was
a lot. They haven't done it since that game, I believe, And
let's say we start. No, I think if they're done, um,
but I think the Falcon's one was the last one ever. And dude bought
my ship. I fuck yeah. And Far won the game by a diving
into the corner. It's a very famous NFL films touchdown because it was snowing
and he kind of dove into the corner and hit the pilon to win the
game. I loved watching him play. It's a shame he's such a dickhead
in real life now, but I loved watching that guy play. I'm sure
he's always been a dickhead. Yeah, but I mean didn't have the proof.
I mean, we didn't know that he was gonna organize and orchestrate government
schemes to steal money from fucking poor people to fund volleyball stadiums or whatever he
was doing down in Mississippi. I mean that yeah, leg sorry, he's
lititial. Cosby's a fucking asshole. Fire is just a dumb fuck. Yeah,
I guess I don't. I mean, I mean the stuff with his
dick too. It's just like, what about Cosby soda? What about like
a like we do with a joke about it, you know what I mean,
Cosby soda, Cosby juice, Cosby juice. I think plenty of women
already had some Cosby juice. Yeah, but it could be like wine for
her, and it's how you sell. It's a wine for her, you
know what I mean, And then guys will buy because I want to give
them, you know, some Cosby juice because it's for her. It's a
nighttime sleep aid. That's fucking now. We're talking now, we're talking like
a like a night quill or like a fucking what's that one everybody takes.
It's a fucking like supplement. Oh melotonin? Right, yeah, yeah,
yeah, Cosby melatonin. That's good. Boom. Another idea. Anybody that's
been hearing these ideas, take them and run with them, you know,
let let it fay. Oh Johnny, I want to talk about the fucking
um. I was running this Patreon idea about you, and by the way,
thank you to our new patrons and scars. We don't know what's going
on, but we'll take it. But here's what I want to do,
john because now golf is season is here, and I got this new app
with the shot tracker on it, right, and I'm playing in the same
course, you know, a couple of times a week. So I'm gonna
play eighteen holes, but not on the same day. I'm gonna play one
hole at the day and I'm gonna shoot the hole and the I'm gonna keep
that score. And then so after eighteen rounds, I would have played all
eighteen and we'll see how I progress if I get back. But I was
telling Johnny, those first few holes are gonna be pretty pretty nice day.
Everything's feeling good. There's me sometimes I got maybe a later tea time.
Whole seventeen Daddy might not be on the fucking sober wagon very much. Yeah,
that's a five o'clock, fucking you know, five thirty and I'm rolling
around seventeen. I gotta record that one. We don't know what state it
albeit, um, And then once we get through eighteen holes one you would
have seen this whole course and two we uh, I could just go hold
a hold a hold of hole. I was just gonna record a bunch of
holes like, oh, I should just do them one at the time with
the shot tracker, because that's all I see on the fucking You know what
your feed gets fun to the fucking Chinese? Know what your feet is on
the back side of the moon? Oh, you guys the same. I
get the same fucking hot chicks, and I get the same fucking golf videos.
The ones that kill me are the people that are mowing each other down
with the golf cards. Man, It's never not funny. I love all
of that stuff. It's just the more, the more violent, the better
too, Like people getting whacked in the head by golf balls and stuff.
It's more. It's it's it's it's kind of like back in the day we
used to steal each other's phones. I mean, he's like, text or
tweet out there. You love black Dad. I love fucking nice, big
old you know fucking inuity. It still doesn't trust me. He still thinks
he was Like the other day he wanted me to delete to reset his computer,
and I was like, yeah, sure, just unlock it and leave
it here, and he's like, I'm not doing that. I'm like,
okay, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna be black cock bomb
you again? But that the thing if you ever got if you ever got
me, then you're in. You're like, you're okay, you can't have
a lock on your phone and you're in. So by getting my phone and
doing that, you're announcing okay, I am now in here. You can
see I don't have a lock on my phone, so you know, bombs
away. That's what I said, bombs away. The golf cart game is
very similar to that. You mow me down with a golf cart. Yeah,
it's gonna scare me, probably won't hurt me. Yeah, everybody's having
a good laughing. I get we're having a laugh at me, So I'm
having a laugh too. But I'm in now and I'm gonna fucking mow you
down. And I'm gonna wait a month or two and I'm gonna knock you
into a fucking creek or some ship, you know what I mean. I'm
gonna wait till your peing, when you're dicks in your hand and you're like,
come steaming down a hill in a golf cart. I mean, So
it's kind of the same way like by dupe by fuck if you mow me
down, which I'm all in for, I'm in and I'm mowing you down,
but in a much better way that sounds dangerous. You'm not gonna try
to kill somebody, but I already mowed down two people. I've already mowed
down to people. And then now when I'm playing golf with them, I'll
send him a picture of all of us together something, but I'll x out
one of the guy's eyes and it will just say dead above them, you
know what I mean, Like a serial killer photograph, Like red exes in
their eyes. That's what's in your journal, your little journal here. No,
And then I sent him to like once they confirmed we gotta ports him
something that I sent him a picture with one of them with the exes in
your eyes, the one guy that I haven't mowed down yet. Um,
what else is going on? You can't figure out if it better to be
in the cart with me or in the other cart. Let him know what
you want safer, because I got one dude when he was riding with me,
and I got another dude ship when he was set I saw it with
you in Los Angeles. No you didn't. Yeah, me and you and
Angelo and it was good right. Hey, By the way, I apologize
for being laid there and we go guarded. You weren't late. I was
almost lady though, you know, so I'm sorry. I was, well,
those fucks. Your ticket was free, exact, a free ticket,
and then those fucks thought their tickets were free and never paid me. I
thought I saw you guys talking about that when we were walking. Well,
no, but I was just con I was just trying to get out of
there. I didn't understand what he said until later and I realized he was
thanking me for the ticket, and I was like, you fox, I
wasn't paying for your tickets. Who Garnet was Yeah, yeah, Garnet and
then Angelo, both of them. We got a big apology coming down the
pipe here. Hey, if you ever catching me back there, maybe I
would Apple pay you there. You know we call it, we call it.
We don't call it Apple pay up here because you know you can't grow
apples up here. Maple pay right, yeah, maple yeah, maple.
Sorry, it's called maple. Sorry, it's so stupid. Hey, bro,
you know you're one. You're not late. So do you know what
apologize for being like too? You're in America right now, and you're in
Los Angeles and were able to apologize for shit in America. You understand because
I do, and I'm very sorry about that. I liked it, John
Wick. It was a little long. They're always long. Yeah. Yeah,
look at this dude. I just wanted to show you this video I
saw the other day of this guy. So he's in one of these,
uh like David Busters kind of places and he's shooting basketball and just look at
this dude. Can you see this? He's just throwing it at the neck.
He can't. What is he doing? I got can He's got to
be like international sports, he's got It's hard to tell from behind, but
he might be a little like uh three red right, yeah, little look
he's just still going on. Turnaround. Oh man, they didn't show um
turnaround. This guy basketball at the net and like one of the Pappa shots,
not even no arc, just like straight really got his hustle on.
Was it a hack? No, because he's not getting any more. Oh
oh you know what it might be? It is? Yeah, the score
is going up. No, you're right, you said this guy was special.
He's a genius, and I take it all back, market fucking stupid
ass. Take it all back. First of all, the eight to ten
year old children of all races are gonna come at me for calling them hyen
as a Dodger stadium. And now you have the non special special people.
Life hacker is coming at us. Listen to this guy says, uh,
listen to these comments. I know it shows the score that you're gaining points,
but you're not actually making any shots, dude. And then this guy
Plase sir, this is a chucky cheese, not the NBA, Johnny.
They're gonna come at us hard with how many people we've offended in this podcast.
This is basically like Mencia and Chris Daliah doing a podcast together, me
and you. Let's call this episode Mendalia Mendaliah. Okay, because I already
forgot the other one. I forgot to write it down, something about the
nineteenth Tall is your Mouth? Right? Oh yeah, nineteen tolds your mouth
or Mendala nine Holding in your mouth is a is a good album title?
A little wordy um? What else you got? Great merch uh and Mendaliah
Uh. I think I'm just writing that fucking shit down. H didn't uh
my only okay, here's my only knock. And this isn't a spoiler alert
and not my regular jokes, but this is true about John Wick. Everybody
says, hey, you gotta stick around credits. They're gonna show you a
little sucking something something about a special little surprise after the current. That's one
of those fucking things. Okay, cool, sure now john Wick. Uh
oh, I was killing in the theater with this, Johnny, because remember
me, I was sitting next to you. Everybody, it's a three hour
fucking movie, two hours and fifty minutes or something. The credits. They
don't go show you like a minute of credits. And then here it comes
a little special fucking extra scene. It's twenty two minutes of credits. They
wait, you have to wait for the guy who designed the fucking vanity card
at the beginning to get his credit. Like, I mean, that's how
far down we go. Don't make me watch a three hour fucking movie and
then make me watch twenty minutes of credits. Just just show me a fucking
two second fucking thing. And everybody next, So everybody's gonna waiting. And
it got to the point where everybody's kind of like standing up and in the
theater with our arms folded, waiting, leaning toward the fuck and somebody goes,
and I go, who I got? This actually would be a lot
shorter if they only just listed all the people in the world that didn't work
on them anyway, I go, it would just be basically all of us
in the theater, everybody in this room are the only people that didn't work
on this fucking movie. I was killing with those bits. And then then
who gives a fuck? Yeah, don't don't sit around and watch that ship?
Go home, google it, watch it on them your shit. It
doesn't even matter. But I was so pissed I wanted to get out of
there. Three hour movie, like, well, I gotta stick around and
watch eight seconds? Who gives us? Ship? Uh? Other than that,
I loved it. It was an incredible movie, but I wish I
did really stick She's like a singer Asian, the Asian chick the place.
What's his name's daughter is uh. She's like a big ass singer in Europe
in the UK, and she's uh, she's uh, what you should say,
like not bisexual, but what one step up from that she's not just
interested in buy but the all the sexuals, all the genders. What's that
called polyamorous? No, that's not polyer what's that? What's the fucking name
for that? Anyway, she's like bisexual plus plus a little bit. Okay,
all about it? I mean whatever, Man, she could kick my
ass. She's cute. Outfighter, outfighter. I have a Have you seen
the Jordan movie yet? I have not. I really wanted to go yesterday
and I didn't. I didn't. Have you seen anything? No? No,
I want maybe seeing that this weekend. Get that little start running joint.
But that's my next movie I want to see for a certain Yeah,
I mean too, me too, me too. I hear it's fucking really
good. If you end up in Chicago, maybe we can check it out
one night. Hey. One thing I did want to get from you before
we go here? What is the best so I've never had the real authentic
Chicago style pizza. What's the best place in Chicago to get that? I
mean everybody's gonna everybody's gonna argue that one. Uh. Where are you gonna
be when we're in Chicago? We're gonna be down, uh, you know
near what's it called Miracle Mile or whatever. Oh yeah, all right over
there like by the loop. Oh yeah, you're gonna be right. Yeah,
that's great. That's a great walking round neck of the wods there.
Um. I mean gior Donos everybody loves. I would put that. I
really like that crust. I would put that high on the list. It's
all that deep dish Chicago style ship though, right, because that's I want
to I would probably I mean, where are you're gonna be? I would
say gier Dinos? Okay, all right? How is it? How much
deeper is it than that Prince Street stuff that we had the other day?
Considerably? Really? That's crazy because that Prince Street thing is real. I
mean that's a thick. That's a couple, you know, inch and a
half two inches. We're talking of depth. I can't imagine a deep Yeah,
google it right now? Is it hard to eat? Blue Naties?
Is good? You eat it like a fork until you kind of get it
down in the cross. It's like a fucking you're the seat. Look but
is it? Okay? I say, I'm looking at here. It looks
like a bowl made out of bread with red sauce inside of it. Is
that right? Or is there cheese in there somewhere? Oh? Bro,
Yeah, it's all in there. Everything's in there. Is there pepperoni in
there? No? Sure, it's layers of stuff. But how can you
look at a picture of the side that side? I have a picture of
the side of it. Yeah, how can you? Though? You can't
take a slice of it? Right? It just all spill out, That's
what I'm wondering. Not really, Not really, it doesn't spill out.
You just take a slice butter on your plate, eat it with a fork,
and then you'll get it down to the Okay, somebody's got a slice.
It looks like lasagna almost. It's just layers and layers and layers of
a pizza on a pizza and then pizza sauce on the top of that on
top of it. All right, I'm gonna try it out. Looks good.
I can't wait to see what you think about that. But based on
where you're gonna be, that's probably where I would go. All right,
I'm too um. All right, Johnny, you have a safe flight.
But I hope they d ice everything. We're gonna have terrible lightning stems windcheer
around here the worst. But it's more so the maintenance uh strike, you
know in all the airports. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah thinking yeah yeah. But I'm sure they'll de ice. I
mean, I don't I don't even think that. I think the I think
the de icing shortage is over. But Special I will say, good luck
getting your prostitute when you're in Chicago. Hit me up when you're out here,
and everybody else suck it go clippers, gold cuffs. Why what did
they say? Every girls my girlfriend? Every girl's my girlfriend, every good?
It has just started me how much Sam loved the song Yance was like,
yeah, special news. What am I saying? Doby Stock, leather
Rock, you our kids. We're supporting now if you are, if you're
a drunk puncher, buy album. If you want to find this uh and
buy it to keep with me high. Let's get busy. As the name
of the album, every dross my girlfriend, Every dross my girlfriend, I'm
gonna make I'm gonna put this a vote. Should this be the new punch
drunk? Uh? Themes