When your old career gives you lemons throwing some ice mix in some vodka.
Color a podcast from the Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by
Victor Chrysler Dots jeem Ram. It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast. Well,
hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your poda on. Thanks for telling
a friend. And that's how we spread the word, Daniel, That's how
we spread the word. So I tell me about the pirate ship. People
hand out Bible tracks. I hand out those and a pillified. Uh,
Danny's he has the U the QR code on a T shirt that if you
scan his shirt. But you try to scan Danny's shirt and then there's a
couple of folds in there. Yeah, yeah, a couple of roles.
It's not going to take me to Planet Fitness. Yeah, Actually it'll take
you to what Danield's app comes up. Dougie Fresh in the House, Tuesday,
Buesday, Brothers and Sisters out there in Airlanta. Oh my gosh,
I am hungover. It was a tough one last night. Yeah, and
you know what so disappointing as Doug told an unbelievable story that he watched the
out of the air, but I just have to tease him a little bit,
because that is some stuffed dougie. And then and then a woman.
I went and pulled audio woman from The Golden Bachelor, and I start playing
it, and he's like, what's this. I go, what do you
mean? He goes, I fast forward to it. I go, what
the fuck? I watched the whole thing, because you know, watch it.
I want watch a little beginning and beginning to remember who's there. And
then I fast forward and see he was getting the rose. And then those
old women just shaking and sweating their nuts off lean to gude. He got
if you got it, if you're gonna be a part of this, you're
gonna be the beat reporter for the Golden Bachelor. You got to watch.
You gotta watch the all twenty two. This whole picked. I watched the
first episode. I picked my Uh well, I had my draft. We'll
we'll play some audio today. That proves my theory. We never grow up.
We just that is the theory I've had for a long time. And
also in the studio tonight, celebrating ten years cancer free from bladder cancer.
Oh that's bad, that's awful. Big Daddy facts glad to beat that one.
Well chemo therapy, bro, Yeah, yeah, it was. It
was brutal. It's ten it's ten years since my last chemo today, Oh,
ten years since your last chemo. Yeah. The tumor was removed in
January of twenty twelve, and they put me on a mild chemo and it
came back. The first tumor was about the size of a softball, seven
inches in diameter and in my bladder. Yeah. Ok, yeah, Well
they had to go through my wang to get it, you know, sticky
tube. No, it was painful, bro, I mean there was a
tube up by penis that was an inch in diameter. How did you find
out you had it? What was going on? Well, I had this.
It's stretchy, Yeah, it's pretty stretchy. Yeah. So, because
I know most guys better than morning Nurse, I had blood in my urine
for about three years, So three years. Fact, who the fuck goes
that long? After I had no insurance. Before before I had no insurance,
had no insurance, so I just didn't go to the doctor and I
said, fuck it, I'll eventually die from something. Might as well be
whatever this is. Yeah, you know, did it hurt when you know.
It would not until later on when I would start like I would start
pissing out blood clots that were like the size of dimes and and so it
was. It started to get painful then because it would have to travel through
my your e throw but you should see them when you're writing your name in
the snow. Then they what, buddy, yeah, going on. There
was a Family Guy episode where shoe show. Yeah, well so red funny.
Sorry, sorry, it's funny you say that because I actually got a
dewey on my on my thirty fifth birthday and I had massive amounts of blood
in my urine at that point in time, and the breathalyzer was broken,
so they had to give me either a urine screen or a blood screen.
And I told the cop you're in luck because you'll only have to do one
to get both samples. And he was like what And I go, there's
just gonna be an aice ton of blood in my past, bro, And
he was like okay, and I took I did the sample and he was
like, oh my god, dude, yeah, it's hardly even alive.
It must have like you ever eat a blood orange? Yes? Yeah,
I mean that is that? What your urine looked like only because it's that
mix of yellow and well no, it was blood red bro like really overpowered
the urine color by bar. I had a kiss. I drank too much
last day. You look like you're pissing rusty nails. It's my god.
Well, you know. And so the funny thing is I actually drink like
once a month. I have allowed one shot. Once a month. I
do my shot at my poker game, and I drink it at midnight and
I don't go home until like freaking four or five o'clock in the morning.
So that's my you know, one day I get to do something. You
just drink one good alcohol one shot. Yeah, I'm allowed. That's my
doctor said none. But I was like, that's ridiculous, and he was
like, okay, okay, you bring up an interesting thing, because I
would like to have what I call realistic doctors. Yeah, not not real
doctors, realistic because realistically I shouldn't be drinking on any kind of antibiotic.
But right if I was gonna what's the best thing I can drink while on
an antibiotic, because I'm probably gonna do it, and I would like a
doctor who goes Okay, like everybody can say not to, but if you're
going to, vodka is probably your best one while you're on this, or
red wine with the taddins may actually help this or hurt this or whatever it
is. That's the doctor I want. I haven't met that guy yet,
but I know he's out there. I know here sees out there is a
pretty awesome dude. Okay, So the first doctor that I saw when I
finally did get insurance through Obamacare there my well, well that story is I
I was in my bathroom and I took a leak and and uh, and
I thought I cleaned up all the blood, but my brother went in there
after me, and there was some underneath the toilet seat and he picked up.
He's like, holy shit, how much blood are you piss? And
then I so then he made set out a bug. So then he he
made he was the one that actually made me do the paperwork to get the
insurance through Obamacare. Yeah, and I finally went to the doctor. That's
a good thing. The doctor was like, basically, bend over and kiss
you're ass goodbye. You've got six weeks to live really, and and he
was like, you've had had cancer for multiple years and you you said nothing
about it, nothing about it, and now you're spread beyond the bladder.
No, it did not, No, so it stayed within. It's kind
of contained there. Okay. So at the time when it was removed in
twenty twelve, and I don't I don't know if this is still true today,
it was the largest tumor ever removed from a human bladder intact. So
no bladder mesh. Okay, okay, so you didn't have to get a
bladder mesh. That's something they put in, right, it's okay. So
an average human bladder is six and a half inches in diameter, yeah,
and the tumor was seven okay, But my bladder is nine inches in diameter,
okay, nine inches prior to the to the time. I don't know
if it stretched because of the tumor being in there or just because I'm a
big fat bastard and I've been a big drinker my whole life, so you
know what I mean. Take me to the day that you are told that
news. You're sitting in there bedside manner, what place? Pardon this?
What do they say? How do they break the news to you? Oh?
This doctor was a total cold prick. Yeah. Yeah, he was
just like you, you know, you've exhausted all your your possibilities and you're
going to be dead within six weeks. Okay. And so did he say
to get your affairs in order or basically, you know, if you don't
have a will, get one blah blah blah. So did he finish it
with I'm sorry or listen, I'm late for no literally just just he literally
just stood up and walked out of the room. Okay. So I went
to a second doctor and that doctor was the one that I ended up with,
and he was like, well, I have an opening on my schedule
later this afternoon and we're going to get you on an operating table and get
that thing out of you. And I was like okay, So I was
literally on a table five hours later. What doctor? Where was this doctor?
Genteel at at uh University Urology. Here's very gentle. Yeah, actually
he's a very good guy. He's he's a great doctor. So when you
first but what are you feeling when you hear that news? Six six months,
six weeks, six weeks? Is that what they said? Six weeks?
Yeah? What are you feeling when when it happened. I said,
funk, no, dude, Like I mean, I've had fucking lots of
other ship that could have killed me in my life that didn't kill me.
It's not fucking time for me to go. I'm not gonna go, you
know what I mean. So that, yeah, and I have a I
have you know, I fight hard when I want to you know what I
mean, Like, fuck, yeah, I wanted to live. It's not
the dog in the fight. It's the fight and the dog that's right.
Then let you keep the tumor. No. They actually had to cut it
out of me and many many time pieces because they had to obviously extract it
through my Oh god. So it's like building the temples. It's like the
ultimate machine through it was like it was a claw machine, bro. It
was. It was totally it was Alzer in the middle of it, bro.
And they cut it in chunks and fucking ripped it out of their missing
anybody else have a pain in their kidney right now? I get paint everywhere
balls. So I had a you know, I had a bag with a
two for like two weeks and they finally removed that and then they did some
tests and they were like, oh, well, this looks like it's going
okay. Put they put some some chemo in me three times a week for
like a month, and then they did another check with the with the camera.
They put it up and look around and they were like, you have
another massive tumor in your bladder again you do? Yes, it was the
size of a baseball in under a month and under a month okay, And
they got that one as well. They scheduled surgery immediately and took that one
out as well. Okay. So when you find out the first time like
that doctor tells you six weeks, what's the first thing you do when when
you leave? Are you with somebody? Did someone take you to the doctor?
Yes? My mother, your mother did. So what is your mom's
reaction to this? Was she in the room when when this news was broken?
Yes, she was, because it's not it's not the natural order.
You was a fucking crying sure, because it's not the natural order of life,
thinking that your child potentially will die before you that. Yeah, my
mom was an emotional wreck. Okay. And then and how about you?
Were you trying to be strong for mom or you you just kind of like
this in denial. I'm autistic. Okay, so I really have trouble with
the emotions anyways. So I just was like fuck it and put up a
wall, you know what I mean. I I just you know what I
mean. At points in time obviously during the thing, I was like,
you know, pretty fucking bad myself. How about the when it first happened,
I was, I was pretty stoic. I didn't I didn't. Uh,
I didn't let it. What were you feeling when you went in and
they were gonna do this laser thing where you concertainly weren't going to get it
all, they weren't going to get some of it? Well, I just
was. I was just hoping they would get it all and I would be
done with it. And they, you know, they said that I would
have to do chemotherapy afterwards, and I was like, Okay, well it's
gonna suck, but you know whatever, you know what I mean, you
gotta do what you gotta do. Then what about then time it comes back
as a baseball? Now, now I would be like, that would fuck
with my head more. At least I'm thinking I'm it did, and it
did, and and that time I was like, holy fuck, am I
gonna fucking die again. I'm gonna fucking this is just it. Sh It's
just gonna kill me, you know what I mean? And and and I
felt like that for a little while a couple of days, you know what
I mean. I got melancholy for a couple of days, and I fucking
felt down. But I found like if I was feeling down, then the
other people around me would start to feel worse. And so I almost felt
like I had to be stronger for them, stronger for them, like like
I couldn't feel bad because that made them feel bad. Interesting, you know,
So when now here we are a decade later after the last chemo treatment,
what is the do you live differently? Do you think differently? After
that? Do you value life more? Brought in all these dunk and shape,
I'm thinking in my mind that the song and maybe we should bump with
it at one point, is that Tim McGraw lived like you were dying,
right, And it's almost like I actually thought about that very song. Yeah,
some people's whole perspective on life changes. Other people just they did They
do for a little while, and then they go back to just being them.
Well, speaking of that, this is funny, This is a funny
fucking story. Okay, so I like to go hiking and shit like that,
go out picnic, you know, hiking, go fucking find a spot,
start a fire, make some food, drink some beers. Okay.
This was what I always used to love to do when I was healthy,
and when I started going through chemotherapy, I wanted to prove that I was
stronger than you know this bullshit. So what I did was, the day
after a chemo session, I would plan like a four or five mile hike
with my friends. We'd go, we'd go do our thing. And and
about two years ago, I asked my friend Daryl. I was like,
Darryl, why the fuck don't we ever go hiking anymore? Man? We
used to love going hiking. And he was like, dude, I fucking
hate going hiking. And I was like, bro, you used to go
every time I wanted to go hik He was I thought you were dying and
I didn't want to tell you no. Yeah, exactly what I did.
I started laughing my ass off. I'm like that that's a good friend,
exactly that roal fucking Frugott. He ain't even going hiking. And he did
it with a smile on his face because he knew I loved it. Yeah,
yep, there you go. Ye. Ask another question the first doctor.
Did you ever go back to him and say, I'm still here?
Do you ever sen him a reminder every every year still standing? No?
No, yeah, no, no, I did not. I uh,
I just kind of forgot. I don't even remember what his name was.
Yeah, he's that little of importance in my life. That's good. Yeah,
well, all right, I knew again that was given six months to
live. He couldn't pay his bill. Doctor, give another cigarette. That's
an old one. All right, we'll take a moment when we come back.
Some stuff I noticed on social media by accident today and then it reminded
me of something I saw yesterday. But I found some thing today. And
I don't know what we're doing in the world anymore. Ask myself that I
don't every day. I don't know, Doug, I don't know. It's
gonna become Escape from New York that movie made years ago in the seventies,
and it was set for nineteen eighty eight where they put a wall around and
head. Yes, and if you break the law, there you go where
you going with? Yeah, it's gonna end up being that way. Uh
Leo's has all the things to make you feel better. They're the official bakery
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five cheese. What do you say, just eat that? Yeah, it's
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because you have to roll us out. We could they have Honestly when you
go in there, the best chocolate cream pipe. Yeah they do. Their
desserts are phenomenal, the hedonistic chocolates. But what I think is really really
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attornis you said. I was in my early forties with a lot of life
before me, and a moment came that stopped me on a dime. I
spent most of the next days looking at the X rays, talking about the
options and talking about sweet I asked him when it sank in, was this
on your uh happy playlist that you're going through chemeo with this help you do?
Okay? Actually love this song and I gotta I actually I've I've loved
this song since I came out. That's just you gotta find a bullying food
Manchu, Doug's taking a selfie? What's going on? Nothing? What are
you doing? What are you doing there, buddy? What's happening up doing?
When you're trying to find his better pictures of lighting him? Here is
perfect or whatever? Then we get to it looking like I'm importing with the
headphones on. Yeah, I'm undilified you. Every Tuesday, so I would
looking for somebody who was in a story in the Times Wayne County today,
and I did not find the person that I was looking for. Last name
was York. His name was Steve York. Steve Yorke got into a fight,
and it's it's the whole thing. Seems like a guy who would be
in some prog rock band in the eighties. Okay, I'll give you that.
That sounds about right. So I searched Steve York and as I a
bunch of names come up. None of them are friends, none of them
are in like the Newark or anywhere area. Somebody in Irondequoy. Not the
same guy. Then I scroll down a little bit and I see a post
and this is the post. This is the actual post. So not only
was Steve Yorke playing Happy Families with me and my children, he was also
playing Happy Families with Catherine Ellis and Tina and Luise Ailey and their children at
the same time. He and he's engaged to us all how many more women
and their children has he got lined up? So then I go, what
the fuck? So now I'm curious. I got a click on this chick
who has her name but her last NIM on Facebook. Look, she uses
her kid's initials, so it's like tabitha Iker or something. Okay, yeah,
so I go, what the heck? So I'm scrolling through she looks
like a woman who's ever really heavy but certainly lost a noticeable amount of weight,
and then she writes I lost thirty stone and I go, okay,
she's British, all right, so this is over in Britain. So this
guy's playing And I go, I'm seeing more and more people getting called out
on social media lately, and I don't know, like, yeah, yeah,
so I know a guy who just recently celebrated his fortieth birthday and he's
big into gambling on football games and stuff, and he's pretty good at it.
I go, so, what happens if you don't pay up? He
goes, I go, does somebody come and like threaten to break your legs?
Or he goes, Oh, no, we just Facebook shamum okay.
I'm like, wait a minute. What. Yeah, we've eliminated the whole
like breaking legs process entirely. And that's only if that's in the circle of
that frends. When you're complaining somebody in the city, They're not going to
see it in your Facebook. It's just like, yeah, and the algorithm
isn't We're to spew out And I go back to breaking legs fellas. But
I'm going as I thought about this, and I started to think about this
dude and these women and all this, and here's somebody who's clearly heartbroken.
Because if you go down there were more posts from this woman. I just
didn't grab them. And I was thinking about it, and I go,
I kind of, in a way blame the woman. I know that sounds
harsh, but I go, this guy's a loser, and there's something about
when you're desperate, he's nice. You have kids. Whoever was their kid's
dad is not in the picture anymore. Could be for reasons like he passed
or just probably left or whatever happened. I have no in jail, it's
like crack in the kpin. I adopt many families, right but yeah,
like you get attention, adult conversation and overall, you know the proverbial red
flags you just you just don't wear. Was a movie years ago with bow
Bridges was on TV and uh. It was about a doctor in Chicago and
he had three different wives and he finally all in Chicago, all in Chicago,
schedule around and the I R S and twax is using white out in
a schedule because he could always say him at the hospital yes. And one
of the times his second wife was trying to catch him and she actually went
to the hospital. He was staying near a dying patient and she goes,
I'll never question you again. So he always had the hospital to work around
their schedules. And where did you see this story was? Did they do
like a piece on him on something years ago? I had no, no,
No, that's okay. I'm just curious because Charles Karol, the famous
reporter to travel around on his Winno Bago. He had a family on the
East Coast and a family on the West Coast, and he was like the
dad, not yeah, Charles fucking Karl, Like see, this is the
greatest thing, Like you got. Rich guys can pull this ship off,
and poor guys pull it off. It's the guys in the middle, no
one. They can't get right do anything. They can't get fucking away with
anything. Really, rich guy, he's the doctor. He's got a great
excuse. Poor guy, I got no money. Fuck you bitch, I've
out of here. I worked with a woman who was with this guy for
several years, and we're like, when are you getting married? When are
they gonna ask you to marry him? Come to find out he lived in
Oswego, so he come here on the weekends and visit her for years.
But he was with he was with another woman who also you wouldn't marry.
Okay, So what is it get in the milk for a free pilgrim?
You don't buy the cow. That goes back to my day of the Bonda
Rosa. But wherever I was living. So my question is like here here
would be the thing I would say to anybody, because you know what we
don't I think women are more honest than men. Wait a minute when it
comes to hang on, when it comes to their feelings, When it comes
to their feelings, No, no, what do you mean when it comes
to this ship and their feelings and how they feel? I'm just gonna be
like, how I feel? Well A right, yeah, score one for
So what I'm saying is like, in a situation like this, if a
woman feels like she's getting played, she'll come out and say and how she
feels and how rotten? Don't you think? No, how many times you
ask your girlfriend or wife, you go like, is anything wrong? No,
No, I'm are you sure? Yeah, I'm fine. So you
know she's not fine. She just hasn't well, you know, the volcano
just says it coming one of us, but every one of us know.
It's like you got your inner guidance system. You fucking know I was married.
I knew, I knew not to ask the question. Dummies, you
don't ask the fucking question. She's so honest telling you all the time.
Right, yeah, But No, what I mean is maybe I'm wrong,
Maybe I'm phrasing this wrong. I feel like if it were guys in this
situation, Let's say it was a woman who decided that she uh she couldn't
have children, but she could have a bunch of boyfriends. So she's got
this guy over here and this guy, and she's playing serious or engaged to
both. I think the guy would never admit that they got played like that,
at least not on Facebook. You're not on Facebook. No, No,
I don't think so either that public. That's what I'm saying. Where
I feel like women, it's almost like they'll get more sympathy from each other
if I saw it. But if I saw Doug right on there, I'm
so heartbroken she was playing me. I call up and her husband hadn't diet
after all, it was just in Florida's villages. I am heartbroken. Wow,
Yeah, you know what. Yeah, That's what I'm saying. And
I and maybe it's not a feeling thing, but look this guy's playing how
this guy to me, this is the kind of this isn't a man and
I would define it like this. And the reason I say that is somebody
sent me audio a clip because my sister had been a flight attendant. They've
heard me talk about I did the Facebook live the other day and you can
hear the episode tomorrow with Anthony Danielle who's flown planes and things, and we
did it on Facebook Live. Right after that, somebody goes, did you
ever hear this clip? And it's about airport dads, but it doesn't really
explain it. But this guy gets to playhouse, he gets to play with
the kids, but they're not really his kids. It's not really invested.
He gets laid and he leaves like dog sitting. Yeah, yes, exactly.
That's a great analogy. He's the dog. That's a great analogy.
I go because because a real man is there, you're getting up in the
middle of the night. I think a man has to I mean, you
might be away, yes, for work, but you have to realize your
actions are going to cause hurtful feelings, not only for one woman, but
those six kids, three on each side. They're going to be confused and
hurt and why isn't he here? And then the mom has to take over
and explain he was cheating on me. Yeah, well, but she was
dumb enough to buy it because she's so lonely and desperate and sick of phone
kid, dumb enough for defeated, defeated I think, I mean, yeah,
dumb, right, you gotta be a little bit smarter than that.
But I think defeat leads to just lapses and judgement. You're like any port
in a storm. Oh while he's showing me attention. Oh wow, he's
around. Well he's one day a week or two days a week is more
than zero. Well, here's the the audio. This is a flight attendant
talking about airport dad. Oh, here we go. So the airport dad
starts off as an airport boyfriend or an airport husband. I've seen couples get
on board where the guy is carrying all the bags and the woman is carrying
her wedding ring, her purse, and her love for him. Okay,
the airport dad sees the drink cart coming down the aisle. This is the
guy is his wife's order or his girlfriend's order before the drink cart even gets
there. And if she's asleep, he doesn't wake her up for her order.
He just gets what she usually drinks. Now there are kids involved,
airport dad is an active, participating parent the entire time. He's going back
and forth with Sally to the bathroom. Okay, he's watching Bluey on the
iPad with one eye open, just to make the I feel engaged. If
there's babies, involved airport. Dad has everything but the baby. He's breaking
down the stroll on the jet bridge, coming out with the suitcases and diaperback,
and mom has headed to the seat. You're you're a surpa. You're
a surpa. But that's what it is. That's being the dad. This
guy, you're getting all the goods. Get to play that and leave next
it. He's the very definition of playing house. There must be something with
people in the medical community, because when I was married, my wife's cousin
got involved with the guy she thought was a surgeon, turned out to be
a surgical nurse. Thought he was divorced. He wasn't. They're working out,
Doug, This is true. I believe it. They're working out in
a hotel. They used to. She was training for like marathons and things.
She had been a bodybuilder, but now she was trying to lean out,
so she wasn't this bulky and stuff. So she was running marathons.
They were running stairs in a hotel. They would go up and run the
fire stairs with weight vests on. He gets to the top, collapses and
dies. She is with him, calls his best friend, and the best
friend he goes uh because he died She's like, what do I do?
How do I get hold of his family? And and and that's when she
found out he was married. All right. He sounds like a Hallmark movie
to me. Why can I hear wife crying? What is it? She
said? She loved her? I can't believe this. I'm like, really,
I believe this. I've told a story on here. But my father
had a coworker who, when viagra came out, thought, hey, if
one makes me feel pappy, how about two? And he tested it out
and his girlfriend on a trip to Florida. His wife is back in Dunkerk,
New York. That's no idea that there's no such thing as business trips
in those steel workers world. They just they their blue collar workers still business
trips. And she goes along with it. Guy ends up dying of viagraple
overdose. Right, it's a thing, Yeah, because it's a heart it's
a heart issue, you know what Doug. I mean. If I fell
him stamp myself, I could understand it. They couldn't close the coffin to
that guy. They get to the funeral home, my father said, there's
two receiving lines, one with the girlfriend and one with the wife, and
they all feel awkward. Okay, who do I go to? Because they
knew them both? I don't know. But this guy was getting away with
three. Wow, I don't know. I'm almost depressed by it. Yeah,
I guess. I mean, I excuse how many stories you have to
keep straight? How many stories you have to keep straight? How about the
name names? Just the names? You know, say a wrong name that
never goes good. I don't think I've ever heard it the wrong name.
I had three in college. Whoa Courtland when I was twenty? Yeah,
older women? Go figure? How old was older when you were twenty thirty
five? Nine eight? Okay? So bad? Then I had another one
in Rochester, and then I started seeing somebody when I was at Courtland,
but I was wrestling and looking good. I don't know, it was just
in the stars. Then the one at Courtland broke up, and then eventually
they all. Then I saw this on Facebook too. It's a glory picture,
okay, And it looks like he took a picture of an old photograph.
And he's sitting down and it's this attractive women behind him, and she's
got her arms draped over him, and he writes my ex the Suckubus the
suck bus. You've heard it's a it's an ancient milk describer. No,
it's just a demon or a supernatural being that uh was really a folklore stuff
a woman. Yeah, and on a seating kind of thing. Yeah.
It appears in dreams to seduce man, usually through sexual activity. Used to
ten or twelve of them a week. Suck you Jay suckuby. So I
go. Now I'm intrigued because I'm thinking, why would you? Why would
you even put that up there? You're and this is a guy who is
older than I am. Why are you? Why would you even attention?
I think some people put it out just for attention. So a woman wrote,
as a there are only three comments on this picture. A woman wrote
why I call her that? A guy comments, uh, you gotta be
kidding me, and another guy comments, here we go again, right,
broken record. But I mean, if your friends with this guy with this
idiot, what do you say to him? Like you're putting that on on
Facebook? You want that out there? Yeah? Bro, I actually told
a buddy of mine, I go, dude, that's so trashy, don't
She's winning you? I got, But the chick is like just by not
even responding to it, you probably knowing it's out there. I'm sure a
friend of her goes, oh, see what Doug put about you? You
know, so they couldn't find your teeth yesterday, could you. So when
I was on Facebook, I saw this picture this guy had, this woman
had posted this because look what my ex husband set me at work. And
you could tell he made the cake because it was so slapply made. It
was a fist with a middle finger and the word cunt written across it in
cursive sloppy cursal. She goes, yeah, let's go, my ex husband
set me yea. But see, that's a lot to see. I'm still
on his mind. She said, he set a tour at work, And
I'm like, what guy would do that? Oh this idiot. Oh that's
a lot of that's a lot of work to like show how insecure you are,
well you got hurt badly, yeah, right. And I always think
the one thing, the one thing you got to learn to do as an
adult is control your emotions no matter what is going on, you know.
But the fact that she at least have some dignity for yourself put this up.
You look like he visualized that this would actually get bad. Like his
wife's going to get this cake at work. She's going to open it in
front of her co workers, and that's going to be in the box.
And she immediately takes a picture, puts that Facebook. They both look terrible,
but he looks way worse of this. I think he looks really bad.
It looks awful. Look, sometimes relationships don't work out. It's really
none of anybody's business. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, a lot
of them. Don't worry ya. A lot of them don't work out.
I would just say because to me, I think I understand some people.
Oh, letting it out, Yeah, let it out in private private friend,
friend, Yes you are, Let go see Doug Friday nights. Have
a few. Yeah, yeah, he loves it when you do. My
friend got me a KUZI years ago at uh wind Jar which got one hundred.
Uh. My psychiatrist is a bartender named Doug. And some people still
have them. And I've always had a good ear, you know, just
even uber driving. Yeah, you know, hey, what's going on?
Oh jeez? And I'm like, hey, I'm all ears. You know,
we got fifteen minutes. Let it out. I don't. I'm like,
look, you're gonna feel better. And sometimes it's a lot. Really,
can we go around the around the neighborhood one more time? I got
more on my chip to get off, especially with sometimes talking to a total
stranger can be very care Yeah, where am I going? You don't have
any judgment, right, Yeah, I mean nobody there to. I don't
have to worry about running into Doug again, right, especially with the adult
the town taking care of their parents are driving crazy trying to do everything.
Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I'm kind of going through the same thing
here and there with my folks. And then I shut up and they just
the flood. Once the floodgates go, they're like, oh gosh, I
really need to just thank you. A lot of it's to the airport,
not a while, but every now and then. Yeah. I had a
girl a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I told you. She
had just broken up with her boyfriend because she wanted to have a threesome and
he got He went through her phone and he wasn't going to be part of
it. She was waiting to try to introduce this bucket list fascination fantasy to
make it a reality and he left her. I'm like, you're surprised to
this. You're gonna have a threesome without your boyfriend and he found out about
it. You're expecting to be like, oh, well he wouldn't leave.
By the way, how's that going for you? Well, I's not going
anymore. I'm like, well, you're looking for a new experience. Hey,
what's the dubbest thing you did after a breakup? Did you ever do
anything like? And a lot of it's childish, but I'm starting to believe,
and because of Doug, I've been watching The Golden Bachelor that we but
it reminds me we never grow up, We just grow old. So that
slow drive by to see if they're home. Oh I just happened to be
going down your street. Done that? I know you have? I knew
in my guts. Have you ever done that? After all? Because if
they move from one legacy to the other legacy, I'm not gonna just no
nothing like that. Yeah, I don't think I've ever done anything, but
I've always kind of like I was too proud, you know. I I've
tested the waters some nights, seeing if they're lonely and just when to get
together. You know you have food drunks like I could get laid. Hey,
how's things going. I ran into your sister last week and did you
tell you and something? Try to bring it up and what are you doing?
And you know that's everything seeing anybody? You want to just come over
and walk for the night. Yeah, you know it's a great pickup line.
Yeah, well, at least you get down the business. Yeah,
everybody knows where everybody stands. Get rid of the star spangled banner and let's
play ball. Let's get right there. I was when I was a kid.
I had a girlfriend that I say kid, like nineteen. She didn't
treat me very nicely or anything, and all kinds of games, late night
phone calls to the house I lived with my parents. It was my parents'
house, right, So their phone's ringing at like one o'clock in the morning.
She's in the dorm in college. They're all laughing. My mother answered,
My mother's getting pissed. My mother doesn't mind. But you know,
we didn't have I think the only wireless phone was in my parents room.
So I'm on the cord still that stretched down the stairs, and I'm saying
things like, oh, but I love you, and my mother's going get
out o'clock in the morning. She's screaming at me, and I think you
just you're dumb. And that's where too, like I always go. You
know, when you watch things like The Bachelor, I'm assuming the younger version,
there's a lot of drama because you don't really have necessarily control of your
emotions. Even in your twenties. You probably should, you don't, and
so you do these You haven't experienced everything experience. Your emotions are new still
sometimes that's true, and and you get yourself all worked up over something and
it's the be all end all, and you kind of wish, you know,
I mean when they say things like youth is wasted on the young,
this is why. Because you get so caught up you don't see all of
what you haven't experienced it well, you have to, you know, even
like second marriages seem to last longer because you knew the mistakes you made the
first one, yes, and you don't want to do them again. I
should have been more thoughtful, I should listened a little more. Everybody should
have at least a risk free marriage to start well, and then like after
ninety days see the other way the other way, I say, five years,
don't you get a new car seven years or so? That should kind
of be in the same you know, where'd you get your wife? Doug
from Van Bordell five years or eighty thousand miles whatever I got used car pain
that you car is pretty pretty comfy, you know. Obviously some other people
said it and it'd before you. But you're like, yeah, it's all
right, it's all right. Control and sometimes you only get the AM station.
It's not perfect, but you're you're dealing with it when you're working with
it. But I remember my old man would always say to me, like
when you're young, He's like, look, when you break up somebody,
even if they break up with you, the only thing they need to say,
or you need to say to them is I don't feel like it,
because otherwise you're gonna get caught in the conversation. Now, if you're married,
anything's and that certainly isn't enough. You need to have some exploration here.
But yeah, when you're just a kid and it's this that, and
someone feels like they're not being treated you're just not into it. Well,
I think it just doesn't work for me. Is enough? The less said
the better right, that would be my thing. The last shot to the
head. You got it. One shot to the head, not five to
the chest. Well, we'll take a break. When we come back,
I want to play some of the Bachelor Golden Bachelor audio and I'll do it
for Doug who missed a lot of the shows. I didn't know he didn't
watch. And then I've got an announcement and I get my breast cancer think
coming up stairs, Well let's do your Yeah, let's do your announcement.
Why don't we do the breast cancer thing, and then we'll get into the
Golden Patcher. We'll do that next. A legal issue involving your family and
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Well, Doug I wound up because I got something from Hulu saying that the
Bachelor in Paradise, one of the women has to go home. She has
an emergency, she's backed up, she hasn't shit in nine days. Huh.
And that made he's thinking me, well, because of the Bachelor and
the Bachelor, So I wound up watching this whole show. And it's one
of these where they bring a new dude onto the island all the time.
So let's say you're vibing with some chick and all of a sudden, Danny
comes down and then Danny has a date card, so he takes that chicken.
You go off and soak, and then she wants to come talk to
you. What's the matter. I just wasn't feeling it. It's like I
couldn't watch. But it just reminded me of college. It was all the
same. Even in college. I thought, get the fuck over this,
Jesus Christ. It's like we're on a campus. There's lots of y a
fish out there. Well even that, but I get it. You get
a connection with somebody that yeah, that's nice. You feel or maybe you
feel like there's you know, there's a little more to it than another and
yeah, some things are just gonna hit you where you're attracted to one person
more than the somebody else. It's stuff whatever reason you see, like even
like your own kids go through stuff, you kind of like, yeah,
and that's where my thing is always like, well, I'm not like you.
Man, time I get that I'm not like you, and I go,
that's because I just don't care. You gotta let not not not care.
I do care, but at my core for many things, not all
things. I just figure. I think as you grow older, you're gonna
learn the phrase you got to pick your battles and understand what that means.
All right, So now I'm getting it. Just says plug the camera into
the board. The camera is plugged into the board. So I don't know
why you would not have audio. But he's saying there's no audio. So
this is who doesn't have audio. I have no idea. I think it
was before I know are at home producer. But that's okay. That's obviously
something got kept, something got fat fingered there. And that's a good thing
because then when I go to do promos and things. But I thought it
was working before, I don't. I just got a text him and says,
make sure you see me some of these dunking doing you just say whatever,
body, I'm here for you? Did you call it in number?
Driving here? So he text me yesterday because bTB he calls it his order.
He texted me at noon he gonna be in the night like it's dude,
bro, I don't know tore everything. I might show up. Uh.
So they had a talent show on The Golden Bachelor. Okay, okay,
so this they all had to come out and they had some woman who
is a celebrity. But she's such a celebrity. I've never seen or heard
of this woman in my life. Some of the women on the Goldman Bachelor
had heard of this person. Attractive. She looks like every other chick I
saw when I went to Hollywood. It's like every chick in LA. I'm
sure very nice. She's so it's like a panel. It's her, It's
Gary, It's Gary. His name is Gary, g E R R Y
sitting in one end, this woman, and then who's the host who used
to play football? Oh? Was it a mangaalato Michael Strahan. No,
it's neither one of those guys. He never played. I think in the
Jesse Palmer. Yes he was a bachelor. Yes he was a bachelor,
but he played football too, right, Yeah, he's a backup quarterback for
the Giants. Yeah, he also went to Florida. So this is their
panel now, Leslie, And the reason I pulled this clip is she was
the one who's the dancer. She's from Minnesota. She supposedly dated Prince.
She says this song Sexy Dancer was written about her. She wrote that at
the beginning. Yeah, I just I'm gonna play this. Some of the
audio is just her gyrating around the State's and doing her stuff. But they
intercut should break a hip? No she doesn't. She really can't move.
But they intercut some of these women who are between the ages. I think
the youngest is sixty. Okay, so the youngest is sixty and the oldest
is seventy five, So that's your age range. And they intercut the comments
from the other women. Oh yeah, they're stabbing each other. Sleep there
you go. Here comes Lesslie. She's working it done. You gotta see
this. Now. I'm disappointed in you because I thought for sure I saw
the one episode of the preview. They were playing pick a ball in the
one girl felt like, brokay, I'm like, I can't I get why
I didn't see that. I missed that first comment to very talented answer.
But she got a little dirty there, a little sexy there. Yeah,
maybe it was a little bit without a doubt. There was a couple of
them on there. Yeah, I also bake, I bake too that she
shoves some kind of baked good in his mouth and then kisses him. He
was diabetic on the floor. So then, uh, this other chick,
the blonde woman, attractive blonde woman. I said to Doug, some of
these women have had so much work done, like so much botox and stuff
that they start to look almost dudish, like their faces look paralyzed. But
it's almost like one looks like Caitlyn Jenner and there stretch bag and then yeah,
so much making. They have the lights. It's just sweating. I'm
like, you poor thing, you can wanna lose it. You're gonna cry,
You're gonna you're gonna you're gonna botch your plass surgery. Jab. So
this chick, Joan had to come out, and Joan had to do a
She says she has no talent, so she's very nervous they keep talking her.
She's nervous and she's so she comes out and she made a poem for
Gary. All right, I just want to remind everyone again, but they
were very so you're missing when you watch an Anne of Stephanie's. Yeah,
listen to please walk into the stage. Joan Jesse Potter, Joan, I'm
cary this stomach. I have to cocker the spirit of being on stage.
They do that cutaway thing and then hopefully if they's a nice dinner tonight,
that would be always, so somebody's going to dinner. My name is Joan
and I'm from Rockville, Maryland. I am kind of scared demand stage,
so I am totally out of my comfort zone. But Gary, I want
you to know you gotta watch this chick because she doesn't look like out of
her comfort zone. She's throwing her offshop, she's doing her things. She
bows at the end like full on, to the point where she could probably
kiss her own ass. Finally came to a stop and they told me to
get out. Really, Gary's that many steps away is all I could shout.
A long, tight dress and four inch high heels that already started to
hurt my barly goal was to reach Gary without planting myself in the dirt.
Now, each time I get the chance to talk with our sweet Gary,
my handshake a little less because he makes things not so scary. Ah See,
he makes things less scary today when I don't use a razor. So
I'm nice beaking Gary. Jesus, I hope you can see that being on
this stage could really give me the blues, and that you'll give me some
extra point for just not vomiting on your shoes. That was the name of
the poem, was vomit on your shoes. Oh yeah, so she tied
it all together. At the end, he does take her on the date.
Yeah, So they wind up going to dinner, but she has a
problem in her family. She mentions to him that her husband had died about
two and a half years ago. Her daughter just had a gave birth fifteen
days prior to her coming on the show, but it was a tough berth.
They wound up having to have a C section. And then she allegedly
gets a call and she tells her daughter she's coming home. That's who I
had winning this, I know, Yes, So Joan leaves Joan rhymes with
bone, by the way, and Moan and the Throne, and if you
like Abbot's, it also rhymes with cone. So that's Joan. Well,
Joan is. Joan is not She did not win, she does not stay.
But then I had to grab some of this stuff. This is she
talks about Gary fixed her heart. She's like Gary, yeah, but the
best is Gary. They show Gary crying as she's leaving because he had Oh
he's crying. She's crying. By the way, I'm watching this guy and
he's so calm and so nice to these women. And I'm going, I
can't tell because I'm gonna play this clip and there's some buzzwords. I feel
like, did the producers tell him use these words? Or is this how
he really speaks? I do think this is really his demeanor though, And
I go, boy, he's a girl dad like, he's very calm,
listens, hey, what's going on? Like just had An just had a
nice way about him, And that's what the women are digging. I'm disappointed
that Joan left, but even though it's difficult for both of us, so
that she's doing the right thing. You know, I've absorbed and processed this
news. Now I've absorbed and processed this news. So I go, she's
leaving the show. You went on one date? Now, what what are
the adds are? Okay, there's gonna be down to one winner and if
it doesn't work out. And a few months later we hear jo Gary found
Joan that you know, the radys go sky high, and I gotta say,
next year, you know they're gonna have three verses and have the seventy
year old woman checking out twenty two different guys and it's gonna be one episode.
And she goes, Okay, who's got over a million dollars in a
bank account? One? Two, three? Okay, everybody else canna leave
you? Twelve roses, doesn't matter, it's coming out of these three.
Now drop your pants. We're gonna make this real quick and easy. Now
listen to Thursday's Day Down on ABC. Listen to what Gary says after this
this baby laugh, it's time to move on. Today. I'm spending the
day with Ellen. Wow. It's almost like it's almost like when somebody loses
a doll I'll just buy it on the car. That's what it is.
I was like, that's you'd weep over your dog at least yeah, probably,
which sounds like he did. Yeah, alright, that's carries on.
But then uh, Teresa and Kathy. So Kathy is the one that I
think looks like Caitlyn Jenner. Teresa's she does, dude, I got show
you does she not? Yeah? You look at him at the end of
the show, like you say, er that lights is sweating. Yeah,
it's like and so Teresa. Teresa's been bragging about her her dates with with
that. But listen to this. This is the stuff I go. We
never grow up, we just grow up. This past week, I've barely
had any one on one time with Gary phenomenal, so did Ellen. Now
it gets more difficult to see him form connections because you know, I really
don't know what he has with other women. I know it's a different into
ros ceremony with that didn't find out only want everybody to get a fair shot.
So now she's talking Like with Kathy in the kitchen, it was absolutely
just everybody's kind of milling around and styling the whole time. He was talking
about the future. When you put any group of people together away saying things,
it's almost like they can't help themselves coming out people doing things that maybe
aren't as my mother would have said the best corn. No, this is
no. This is the one that looks like I was at the point where,
okay, let's do it. I said, okay, let's let's let's
do it. I said, let's go. I don't want to do that.
I think she thinks she's got this. Basically she's gonna win. Who
the hell is she? See what you're missing out on all things? I
saw him taped. Okay, okay, and then you got this last part
where to gets cornered by another woman and goes listen, you're making her feel
bad about shallow here. You know they had to come. Oh but this,
this is the drama. So now I figured one of them would have
a drinking problem because I think it's all free booze on there. Kathy gets
a rose because she has a conversation with Gary. I think this might be
the things to themselves. But April was really being protective of Chaffy. Yeah,
so April's like in her face, bad words between us. I'm confused
by what. Now They're going to cut to Kathy, who's on a date
with Gary, and she tells everybody, yeah, my god. She starts
showing a picture of her dad when she was thirty and she starts crying because
she told me how to work hard, hard work and being a good person.
And my dad taught me the same thing. Anytime I think of that,
you know what I think of but not Ryan think of a nice cold
beer right after the hard work, had a rough day, Oh you have,
what's the matter? Honestly, twenty four hours or so, I pad
a lot of meanness, and I'm just you know, people aren't necessarily very
nice. You know, you're suck it up. You're seventy years old,
you know, just figured this ship out now, So I'm going to disband
everybody else and just go with you and make your life happy for the rest
of the god your existence. So they both got roses and they're moving on
and who the fuck knows. And I'm sick of this because I'm mad at
you that he didn't watch it. Here's the thing. Yeah, they add
a wrinkle to this. I just thought of this, so she get a
wrinkle. I met this girl last week. She had a great story and
the hell of a bucket list. You wouldn't believe this one, you know,
So don't you talk. This is true too. Can you please tell
this to it? Okay, I'll tell this. Okay, go all right.
So I said this bar, I didn't know what you're gonna tell me.
Good. So I'm in bar. This is true and I had my
this better be true, and you're true. This is true. This is
a fucking note said that last night because you're working on material. I am,
but this is no material. So this older woman between sixty five and
seven, he comes up to me and she goes, where are you going?
So dressed up? I go, I'm going to my bartend on Friday
night, said going to forest. So she goes, oh, I have
to come out there and plan a need. I need a funeral catered.
I'm like, oh, who who passed away? She goes, I am.
She goes, I have flung cancer and I only have six months.
Lug sorry, and I swear to She goes, I gotta do that and
got All I wanted to do is get fucked one last time before I die.
And I go, really, this was in the scene him fight club
and you've got to be kidd She goes, she has her hand out.
She goes, what I'm looking for is girth And I'm like, sweetheart,
you're not gonna believe but this is your keep back. I no, I
love them old. She goes, you gotta be kidding me. I'm like,
no, I mean, hey, if that's your bucket list, you're
gonna die in six months. You know, we can probably work something.
Her girlfriend, who's just as old as her, gets up out of the
barstool, turns her to her and starts smacking her on the side of the
cheeks, going stop it. This is impolite. I'm like, oh,
that's not so bad. You really have no idea here, No, it's
not And and I'm like, i gotta go. I can't deal with this
right now. But I'm like, oh, maybe I'll see you there.
But whether she was joking or not, yeah, that that did happen,
Okay, I mean if you work that into a stage piece, you know.
Yeah. I mean, if you had a bucket list and you only
had six months and you wanted to it's not a bucket list list. I'm
like, this can't be happening. And everybody and the few people I've told
like okay, and I'm like, and what, well, where's the punch.
I'm like, no, this has happened. They're kidding. I'm like,
no, this actually happened. Why me? Why me? I don't,
I don't why these fingers? Yeah, short and staggy, I can
carry your toes. Well that kind of ties into my idea that I had
for the Bachelor. Yeah, the Golden Bachelor. Okay, so check this
out. It's always one bachelor, right, But these girls, you just
brought up the fact that they all get free booste. What if they put
in like this good looking bartender who's also on the show, and he served
him drinks and they confided him and they start talking to him, and then
before you know it, they're starting to lose hope in the Bachelor, and
then they hook up with the bartender. Boom, there you go. Boom.
I mean that's another record. I mean west because we've seen the same
episode, the same show for twenty three years. Or have twenty two bachelors
and twenty two women. I think each day you have a different date until
you expeed twenty two days. Yeah. I think that's called mont Connery's on
Friday. Nay, all right, Well, Doug has an event coming up
this Saturday. Can just anybody come? And oh, anybody can come?
Okay, what's the event? It's my thirteenth annual Breast Cancer Coalition Breast cancer.
Doug thought breast cancer, but it just happened to be a peanut eminem
You do underneath my from watching this for forty work and I'll do all this
fun shit. It's this serious thirteen years. You do a lot of work.
That's really nice. You do a lot because you did the golf turn
and then the golf because COVID people said, I don't want to be inside
yep. So I'm like, I'm not stopping my event because it's COVID thing
now that I didn't believe in it. You wear masks, but you're a
rebel if you if you stop it, it's not coming back. And you
get the get it going against too tough or you get too tired. Wasn't
any business with Danny and I had a meeting today. The whole thing was
like COVID just really screwed things up? Did it also brought up new opportunity
pew Yeah for smart people. So it's a bowl roll Lanes and Henrietta.
All proceeds go to the breastcast Coalition Rochester, which they just had their gala
last week that I was the comedy relief at the Carlson Comedy and that went
really great. And this last year we raised thirty six thousand between the two
events and Dave's tipnight yesterday at Noonan's and then this Saturday, all the lanes
are filled knock on Wood that will probably have two to three hundred and if
you want to just come out and buy some Raffle tickets, there's probably gonna
be one hundred and twenty hundred and forty. Last year I had one hundred
and seventy five Raffle prize believer or not. I did not think I had
that many until we unloaded everything and then we've got we have got a playing
card poker Raffle, So twenty dollars to get you card. It's got a
casino. There's six decks or all different casinos. You got to match up
everything including the back and you get half. We get half. Okay,
I got a red card. It's an age. It's a eight of hearts
and you're staying at the Blagio and then we have a table. Last year
we had ten grand prizes. This year we have twenty two. Right now,
between one hundred dollars give certificates to places like mister Dominic's Tony D's Gray
House. We had three or four buffalo bills packages. Wow, handmade quilt
with buffalo bills and throat pillows for a king sized bed. So you're not
gonna be cold this winter. Yeah, maybe something for I got a king
shoppies. No, I'm not kidding. I know I said that really pervertedly,
but I do. I have a king sized bad oh rat, that's
right. I only sleep on one little side of the heart. No,
No, it's not a broken one, yes, right down the center on
that side. It's the cold side. It's very very awful over there.
No one stays there. Well, so we'll have uh have free pizza and
the prizes and I'll be playing music and on the mic, and we're gonna
be presenting somebody with a canvas so they're gold sponsor, which is one thousand
dollars donation. And uh, a lot of a lot of effort in putting
these things. I would part of some charities myself over the years, and
uh man, it's a lot of work. It Yeah, started early.
You don't wait for everything to the end. Did you know how to do
this? No? No, I just started not get endoors. Yeah,
and then I've been learning and tweaking it every year, just a little bit
here and there. I think it's always better to not know because I think
sometimes until you're in it and you keep that determination I want to do this.
But if you if you're hit at the beginning, like hey man,
take this on, it's gonna be an awful lot. I don't know,
you know, you may not do it. And that that's where I think
it's it's great when you go in almost with i'll call it childlike negativity.
I was thinking, I was thinking Nativity and attack. Yeah, but you
know what I mean, the baby Jesus. Yes, being naive is wonderful
in those situations. Like a kid. A kid just does it right,
right. Yeah, So I think that's great. Yeah, And every year
there's something that comes in that makes a great surprise and you just kind of
get the energy to keep going. Yeah. I went to one of the
local supermarkets. I don't want to say which one, but I'm like,
look, I know you give all your stuff to the Unani way, but
I know there's a back room of stuff. And a few weeks later,
the gentleman his wife had died of breast cancer, and I got a golf
bag two d fifty dollar culture golf bag. Wow, wow, all right,
hey, now, so just it's amazing. And last Wednesday, the
day before the gala, the Carlson I picked up a ride. Cindy was
her name, and uh, I forget how you know what's going on.
I'm like, I'm gonna do some comedy mar I believe it or Adam,
you know, headlining a fundraiser for breast cancer colalution. She goes, Oh
my god, my mother just became a survivor last last month. Thank you
for everything you do. And if she was in uh, I don't know,
real Pakistan. She was a student from across the way to rit She
goes. If I would have been in my original country, my mother probably
would have died because they didn't have the medicine there. I'm like, you
know, it's amazing. Thank me, And it's amazing. What is touched
Yeah, you know, getting more and more in a year after year.
It's just keep it up. You're gonna get touched up by cancer, but
by somebody thinking you I never had a wish he told me, goes,
you know you're not gonna get laid because you're raising money for Briscus, I'm
like, that's not the point. I'm like, love your friends, because
that's not come on, man, we all know you. That's exactly every
one of them, and you would say it to us. I know,
I want to you know, it's hey, man, it's I like having
a good party and I charge I know him to hey, come out and
just having a phenomenal time. The only thing that I will say that,
uh, I think you can tell a lot about a person's sincerity is their
consistency. You've been doing this for thirteen years. That's over a decade.
That's a lot. That's a lot, and so for that alone, it's
only at that point can we start making the jokes right, because in the
beginning it may be true. Now you've proven us wrong. So it's funny.
I've never you know, anybody events knows. I've tried. I will
take a moment when we come back. Maybe we try to check him with
Race and Randy to find out what he's up to. And I know Fat's
got a Fats was telling this story too before we got on. I don't
know if that remembers the story about dating and yeah, and then anything you
want to say about you know bladder cancer. I mean, look all this
stuff. I think it raises awareness for every Like I know it's a breast
cancers that she get checked out doctor. Yeah, definitely get checked out,
get your prostate checked, get your call and check, get everything checked.
Check, check, check, check. Make sure it's a doctor and not
behind a dumpster. I mean, hey, whatever, bro, if if
somebody wants to prostate, I had my prostate check last week. The doctor
was down there for half an hour. Really where his part was he was
my dentist. We'll see what happened Saturday night. But hey, do wrong
cavity? I said a molar. I never turned my head in my life.
I didn't say put a mole in there, I said molar. I
said a bud light, not a butt light. This is getting stupid,
but it's always Yeah. I love when it's stupid. I'm more aware of
cancer than I ever had before. All right, we'll get to all that.
But first, Block Marine Company, Rochester's original craft brewery, has a
lot of things happening at their beer hall. Have you been there to ninety
seven Railroad Street. You gotta check it out. They've got the beer hall
sessions every Thursday, this month. I like to say Thursdays in October.
That was an old radio thing. But lu de Petro's playing there this Thursday.
Very talented, and he has stickers that say I was listening to Lewiston
before all these other dweebs. That sticker makes me laugh. You can probably
get it when you see him Thursday night. Now, I'm not gonna tell
you what to do, but I'd like to make a suggestion, and I've
never steered wrong. Here's what I would do. I would head down to
the Beer Hall Thursday night, get in there. I'd take a look at
the new fall menu. I would decide between the wood fired mac and cheese
pizza or the Buffalo chicken mac and cheese pizza, or maybe I'd just get
both. And then I'd pair it up with one of the delicious beers that
Roorbock makes. Maybe they're a new one, the Golden Ticket. Have you
heard about the Golden Ticket. It's golden stout with coffee, chocolate, raspberry
and vanilla. Delicious. And then I would sit back, relax and listen
to Lewis de Petro from six to nine every Thursday at the Beer Hall.
Could be great for a date. Night, even if you're dating yourself.
Robock Brewing Company providing you a little escape at the Railroad Street Beer Hall,
Roarbock Brewing Company, Rochester's original craft brewery. Mackam All Trades. The name
says it all five eight five two O two nine two eighteen and mackab Alltrades
dot Net. bTB would fire pizza and grill on the mall at Grease Ridge.
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And of course, if you're watching the game, where else are you gonna
go? Fifty TV's not a bad seat in the house. Come on,
baby, betb in the mall at grease Ridge, Cobblestone on Maine dot com.
Manscaped they're always improving their products. Manscaped Lawnmower five point zero, Oh
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get twenty percent off when you use the code Bill twenty. That's Bill twenty
for twenty percent off at manscaped dot com. All right, gentlemen and ladies,
and this time, keep your hands and feet inside the kite till the
ride comes. A complete stop. We are session fourth right now, beautiful
Tuesday night. The man to my left, you know him, you love
him. You can't get enough of them, all the way from Alabama,
Bama, Lama ladies, get your extinguishers ready. He's a five alum fire
six foot two as a blue six figures in counting the one, the only
mister beam whoa I always loved this song for Joe Cocker. Oh yeah,
who was uh not and a half weeks half weeks and a half inches?
Oh on a good day when I wake up in the morning, wood knock
on what you better believe it? Baby? This is when Mickey Yorke looked
normal right before boxing and playing or York Rourke. York is the guy from
the three and five story. Huh, Mickey work probably has multiple families too.
Mickey Rourke though, Man, what was the movie he did as the
Wrestler? No, The Wrestler was good. But there's another movie out.
I think I don't know when many people have seen it. I believe it's
on Netflix. I think it's called The Assassin. And so he moves into
just some residential neighborhood. He's a retired CIA guy. He's dying and he's
going to kill all the people that and befriends of kid in the neighbor.
It's a really like sweetheart warming. I enjoyed it movie. I think Sarah
Silverman's in it as the mom of this single mom with this teenage kid.
Yeah, so I think she's hot, Sarah Silverman, What the hell are
you doing that? Well, I'm gonna have to practice introducing again because the
big announcement is that, uh, Dougie Fresher Doug Phelps December seventh to ninth,
I will be hosting at the Carlson Comedy Class Dyslexic, So this will
be my first time doing it. I got the news yesterday with Mark and
Patino. I'm sorry, gonna work on that one too, to get that
one right so you can see all the uh I'll be doing five or six,
five to seven minutes to stand up any more. Mark Appatitis. Yeah,
the well, Carlson's Comedy Ladies and Gentlemen. It's not ABC or D
but it's more kippe title. I'm getting paid with free parking pizza slice.
Oh god, that's so funny. So if you find me funny, on
here, come on out. Oh this is gonna be great. Five shows
and go to Carlsoncomedy dot com for tickets. Yeah, all right, very
good. I think that's great. I hope you you guys can make it.
It's right in the front row. Yeah, I thought they like comics.
Don't like their friends sitting in the front row. We're friends. Please
wear the hat. I got new material. I don't know. I want
you to sit in back. I'm trying to fix one of these cameras.
I don't is it mine? No, yea in the software, chained down
it or something. There we go there. I'm not looking my best today.
Too many shots last night. I'm not a young man anymore. Put
me in coach. They got this new medication called Cheers, where you take
three of these pills after you've done drinking. You won't feel anything the next
morning, good or bad. Really called Cheers, and it's it's got gluted
thiamine and it basically it eliminates the hangover. Okay, yeah, I think
you can get it. Walmart. Never heard of such a thing, right,
yeah, I never heard of video. I'll send you a picture.
Yeah, let me so. Danny did send me this. And it's only
funny because Fats was just talking about dating and what was the rule six six
feet six feet? But first of all, we're the rule six is it's
the it's some ridiculous rule that you see on the internet for women dating nowadays.
They're like, oh, if a man wants to get with me,
he's got to have the three sixes, six feet six inches and six figures.
And you know that literally is like zero point zero seven percent of the
male population. So good fucking luckily, what if I got eight in and
five figures. Yeah, that's what I borrow some column, give a little
the column baby, and me come on, I take the chicken and the
rice and the tepioca pudding. I mean, I did say fellas for a
while there, I was, I was, I had all three and then
I don't know, I ran into a lawnmowerrow. I got a fan and
a circular fan of five minutes trying to give yourself. But Danny did send
me something that I think is interesting. Uh. I started to watch it
and I thought, well, let me just do it on the on the
podcasting. Just give mymous reaction about it. Let me get uh, this
is the reason why young people are terrified to date in this generation. I
think from now. The title says people, I think this is about young
men being afraid to date, And yeah, I think that there's a lot
that can be said. And I have said on here and I will stand
by this. And I don't know that it's a popular state. But I've
had women who listen to the podcast reach out to me and go, I
agree. I don't know anything a man can say. One accusation against a
woman that actually gets alters her life, will alter her life. There is
an accusation that a woman can make against a man and it only needs to
be one and it will absolutely alter his life. That has happened many many
times in our modern society right now today. So I don't know. I
think that that does play It's unfortunate. I think sometimes, you know,
you got to have some decorum about you. You should always be I like
to think as a guy, a gentleman. And you know, if the
word no ever comes up, don't even pretend that it's a playful. Know
these days, like you know, no, remember the old no means yes,
like no stop? Right, you know, well if you hear no,
stop and any inflection right fucking stop. Yeah, right, you know,
unless you're pretty secure in the relationship, I would assume. But it'll
be interesting. But who is this guy? Is he somebody? He's a
psychologist? It like a podcast, one of those you know, uh,
I think, like on the interepmentary podcast. Yeah, it's it doesn't say
it's it's like Business Tips International or something. Think, here we go doing
the approaching. People will judge many men, at least one in five men
that do that as being harasses. But everybody understands that if the guys don't
make the first move, nothing's going to happen. If guys do make the
first move, they're scared of being me too. Girls are scared of being
approached by guys that they don't know, but also still know that they need
the guys to make the first move eighty six percent of the time. Because
that's a percentage. I was like this in that fucking interest that there is
a question about why young people aren't dating quite so much at the moment.
A study showed that eighty six percent of women say they want a man to
make the first move. A different study said that fifty percent of men say
that they're afraid of making the first move for being seen as creepy. Okay,
that's hurt. Okay, So I just I wanted to catch the beginning
because it's on a loop that I can't I couldn't pause. Uh that that's
an interesting commentary for sure, because I do think that in traditional society it
usually was the guy. But I mean, Doug, do you usually approach
a woman or do you sort of wait for a woman to approach you?
Or do you approach me? Well, I mean approach like, let's say,
like a flirty exchange of some kind, if she initiated it, or
if there was like, uh, you know, all of a sudden she
kind of reaches out in a conversation and touches your chest. I mean,
those are all as they say in the sales world buying size, I'm being
in a bar war behind the bar. Yeah, I'm usually joking or having
a good time and overheard and they'll get a giggle and oh you like that
one, I'm Doug. Yeah, that's how it starts. Okay. You
know, if I can get somebody laughing and I try to keep it laughing
and then get to know him a little more, fats you still dating?
Not right now? No? But you were, and I would be,
but I'm not because of this kind of stuff. No, no, So
I would say that I stud thought about getting on like one of these dating
websites. Yeah, but I'm like, oh fuck, man, I'm sorry
old you know what I mean? Well, would let me let me?
Well, I'm not good looking and I have no money, So where the
fun I'm gonna get? Zero? Here's what I was gonna do, and
I want to I'm gonna say this and it's gonna come out terrible and people
think I'm an asshole. But this is a very real thing. What is
your normal pickup line? If you were to pick up a chick? How
much? Hey? Maybe you walking or you working? No, like,
seriously, you're out. You're out at a bar. You see an attractive
woman. She seems to be either with a group of friends but not with
any anybody. You think from your observation that she is single and available,
right, or maybe she seems to have good energy. You kind of like
her. What do you do? I usually just walk up and introduce myself,
okay, and you just say hey, I'm I'm You say I'm big
daddy, fats okay, goddamn right And it's a conversation starter. Nobody ever
forgets my name, all right, so what and what is usually the reaction?
It's anything from you know, a little giggle to you know, they
want to know what the whole thing is about. Why, you know,
why do they call you big daddy? You know what I mean? And
that's when you get the conversation going. Anything to start a conversation, man,
Because what I was going to say is if you had like some pickup
line that you said, like, hey, what are you drinking or whatever,
and you're like, oh, creep. And if I went in and
said the same thing, I think I got a better shot than you.
Well, you know what. That's funny because I was just thinking about this.
We had plenty of LGBT plus clientele at the last bar that I worked
at, and a young women and stuff like that. And one of my
really good buddies is from Brooklyn Davy and he comes in and he's like,
hey, how you doing? You know what I mean, like this kind
of ship like this, And he says to this girl, how you doing?
And she fucking tweaked on him. Okay, so she fucking read him
the Riot Act. You fucking by the fun and and then afterwards I walked
over to her and I said, do you know that he said the exact
same thing to you as I said to you five minutes earlier, and you
didn't have shit to say to me about it. And it was because of
the way he said it, and I he said, hey, sweet hot,
how you doing? And I said, hey, sweetheart, how are
you doing? And you know what I mean. It's like because I show
a little bit of inflection in my tone and a little bit of I agree.
Actually I'm actually asking you how you're doing. Now, if we went
to like, if we went to like a bar that I would go like
over here to Mount Connery's or something, and you and I went up to
the same women. Woman, I think that you look scarier to them than
I do. I'm I'm I'm a pussy right if you know what I mean
by comparison, I mean, dog, Seriously, you know what I'm saying,
when's the serial killer? I'm gonna go here? But actually, no,
dog, he should have went with that be you got it. Base.
Don't judge a book by its cover exactly, but that that's the thing.
I mean, how many times have we seen all of us at some
point some guy come in and if you go, boy, if I did
the same thing he does, I could never get away with it. To
your point, Uh, if I ever walked around and said to somebody the
things my friend Damien says, I don't and they're not bad things. Just
the other day, Uh, he came up here, he's got a little
dog dogs. A woman comes out from the hair salon. She's like,
can I give the dog a treat? He's like yeah, and then something
and she does whatever and he goes, oh, sorry, love, don't
do that, love or whatever. But he says, love. Now,
if I went and I said something, I would never say that because I
it wasn't not the vernacular that you were like, It's not the vernacular vernacular
I'm raised with. However, it also is one where the charm and the
lilt and the innocence of the way he says it versus I say it,
and somebody's going, that's kind of creepy what I'm saying. Yeah, the
accent. Yes, there is a big difference. And I do think like
some guys who can walk in and pull it off because they're I don't know,
handsome, strong or something, and then another guy comes in and does
the same thing. I mean, just ask Doug. He gets dumped all
the time on Yeah. I think actually Danny said something about this the last
time I was on the on the show. But it's the quarterback face thing.
Yeah. You you know what I mean. You just have You've been
raised with that. I'm good looking, I can do anything. Everybody,
you know, everybody steps out of the way for me. Attitude and you
just like you had all the confidence in the world and you can literally go
up and talk to anybody. It is confidence. I believe that's the biggest
That's why as ugly as I am, I can, you know, pick
up chicks yeah, left and right, you know what I mean. I
just have to get it. I have to be able to talk to them
because they're they're They're not going to walk across the room and go, hey,
sexy, how you doing. You know what I mean? I noticed
you have fucking man tits, and you know what I mean. It's like,
I mean, when I was younger, these were fucking muscles, you
know what I mean. But I'm they're not anymore. I haven't lifted weights
in twenty fucking years, you know what I mean. So, but I
don't know. I actually did have at one time. I'm outrning what's called
Yeah, it's a dumb bell. Jane found a workout. I have the
Peter found a work out. I sleep in leg get high and borrow money
for my sister. So, man, Tits, you haven't picked up a
way in twenty years. You have the bobs Burgers, but you just find
it. You keep the conversation going. That's important too, being able to
talk. Yeah, And I think that's the reason one of the as young
kids aren't they don't know how to talk. I hear this from my buddies.
Their kids are twenty one twenty for getting on college and they're just now
getting communication skills. I've been telling my nephew to get into sports, not
only because I was in sports, but it's going to help you interact with
people, make friends, get on a debate team, learn, take an
improv class. Well, I said something, No, no, you're right
with the sports thing. I don't mean that. I'm saying that if you're
somebody, if you're somebody who is going to go back into the dating game,
and you really want to do something that's going to improve you, how
are you going to make yourself conversational. Do all this stuff awkward moments.
Go take an improv class seriously, because you will learn to yes and everything.
So no matter what she's thrown at your you can probably spin it and
make it funny, and if nothing else, you'll at least be entertained that
I'm easily entertaining. At least I had a good night about you. But
I just I think that's sort of interesting. What did you think of that
piece, Danny? When you when you send it to me? What was
your thought? My thought was yet, Like, he's absolutely right, But
I think he's talking about men and women who aren't the best looking people.
Like the best looking people always seem to find each other, right, Like
when I was in school, high school or college, the best looking girls
all hung out with the best looking girls, the good looking guys, the
jocks all hung out together, right and then like it goes back to what
quarterback? Could all have one fat friend? Though, the hot chicks would
have that one fat friend that made them look Did you ever hear that song
big Fat Friend? No? Oh my god, that's a great song.
Yeah, Stephen ever heard of Stephen? Right, Steve Stephen? That would
have been funny. Stephen Wright made a song Big Fat Friend. I would
listen to that. But the idea behind the the whole thing was like,
you know, I think with average people now, or average Stephen Lynch,
Steven Lynch, with like average looking people, or people who aren't considered like
tens or ads or whatever are you classified people? Now there's this air in
the room where like, you know, like a lot of guys got more
like there's like a ten to one guy to gal ratio in terms of like
hitting on people. Right, Okay, girls don't usually hit on guys,
So women deal with a lot of guys, a lot of creeps along the
way. It's all of a sudden and now they've been trained to the met
too situation that this could be considered harassment, which is complete bullshit off it
Sometimes it is, but not all the time. I thought to be harassing,
it had to be repetitive. You have had to be asked to stop
and told you're bothering me, and then you continue it. That is the
definition of harassment, right, But now they have been trained in college to
think, wow, if like some guy who I disapprove of, like like
fast brought the example two different ways of saying something. If the guy's good,
look at Oh he's so cute. If but an ugly guy does it,
oh, you're harassing me. And that's immediate, like they immediately hit
that switch, and it's like, that's not fair. So guys are afraid
to ask a girl off. They don't want to be me too. And
the girls are like afraid of guys because they think that every guy's a creep.
But the other, the other thing is this thing a girl says,
yeah, Dougie fresh out. I said no, and the girl goes,
yeah, me too. But I do I I that that's a fair point,
like to your the me too thing. But because I read some of
these on Facebook, some of these women's comments about being meat too, and
I'm like, that's not a me too situation, that's not a meaning.
But if you feel uncomfortable, here's the thing that it's a it's a fine
line because you can never really tell somebody how they're feeling. So if you
feel unsafe or you feel uncomfortable, being able to verbalize that is one way.
But to come out with the we use such strong language now and it's
so definitive, like you use the word. Yes. I have seen on
college campuses where a woman said, oh god, he just creeped me out,
and I thought he was gonna rape me and the guy was just talking
to her. So now everybody turns because you have used what is the new
weaponize, You've weaponized your word. Yeah. I was gonna say trigger words
that make people like all of a sudden, now you've used words where those
are horrible words. I think we use rape way too much, right because
the people who've really been raped did they ain't pretty? No, it's not.
It's not a conversation that made you a little uncomfortable. It ain't that
so right, And so then you know, you got to have almost like
you got to go back and take social classes seriously, like how to talk
to a woman? Is it to anybody? To anybody, and just have
some manners about you and not decently. You know the problem is you mix
in alcohol hormones and you turn into me. And you're right, And it's
young people too, people in their teens and twenties who have no life.
That is. But I will say that I would think in our age bracket,
Doug, right, because I'm fifty two, you were fifty three you're
forty seven, a bunch of middle age old guys, and Danny's a merry
guy. But for women are forward, they're more for than they used to
be. Yeah, with that age group, that age group, I find
I find it just as hard picking up women now as as I did when
I was younger. But that's just me. I mean I've had them,
like, and I know women are getting older in our age riens. They
have their kids, yes, and I'm find being a grandma and I don't
need it anymore. And I don't miss sex. I'm like, and I
hear this at the bar sometimes I'm like, yeah, okay, you're not
having sex every day this age. Don't you just miss somebody to hold?
And like now I'm fine, Like I'm proud of it. I'm like,
you're lying. I got my dog. I tell them right now, I
have my dog. That's not I mean, I got I've found women in
there, honestly, from like I would say either early forties to early fifties,
pretty forward. I've they've been pretty forward. I got to hang out
where you hang out, Okay, come out with me one. Yeah,
I would love it, and I would show I will show you. I've
had, I mean very forward. I've had people reach down and grab me
in places, right, I do that myself just to make sure it's there.
I had to say, don't do that to me, and I never
do grab my package At uh Daisy Dukes in the city like fucking fifteen years
ago, I remember that place. She just walked over to me, grabbed
it, turned around, and like showed a size to her friends that were
all standing against the wall like waiting for the report scavenger who wants to ride
the bull? Which one I was so fucking pissed. Man, dude,
Well, okay, so I don't like you didn't have to go like this.
No, so well I don't. I don't like being touched in the
first place, because I'm one I'm autistic, and two I was molested as
a child myself, so I don't fucking like me and touched it without like
somebody saying hey, I'm gonna touch you, you know what I mean,
like and she just grabbed a whole of my hot though yes, she was
very hot so the second So then I introduced myself to her and I ended
up buying her and all of her friends of drinking ship and we talked and
stuff, and I was like that, you know, I told them exactly
why that was super unacceptable to just fucking walk up to somebody and grab their
dick. And you know, she said, and we talked to them,
She's like, well, I just figured it'd be big because of the size
of your feet. And I was like, that's, first of all,
that's a total myth, you know what I mean, Just because I wear
a size fifteen doesn't mean I have to have a fucking, you know,
baby's arm fucking grabbing an apple in my pants. But Jesus, you know
what I mean. Like, Oh, speaking of which, yeah, got
a baby's arm grabbing an apple on your phone. I did something to the
bar lass and I haven't done in a while, oh boy, And they
sent me a video. So this is an old trick I had. While
you do that, while you pull it up, I'm gonna play for you,
big fat friend from And you've seen that girl across the bar kind of
looking at you. That's right, you're looking at her and you got the
eye contact, and you know I can play your cards, right, things
are gonna go okay. Then that's what the song's about. And Tank's gonna
help me singing. It's called she got a smile, is what it's called.
It is tonight, Yes, all right, here we go. She's
gonna love this song. Yeah, she gotta smile and she flashing it right
and me gotta wake. Look across the bar, and I know that it's
mentions. Jesus. She gotta walk. She walking open, and I think
it could be Monday. She got a friend. Oh, she's got a
friend. Why she's standing in her way? It's a big fat friends always
want prey to spoil offense enlightenment because she's gone. I'm not the car.
Oh my god, it's hilarious. You never heard this with any Alca tan
But cannot come, Pete. You don't know. I don't know where Stephen
Lynch is these days. I gotta find Stephen Lynch. That's gonna be that.
I'll want a mission now. I always love. Oh yeah, who's
healthy? I saw him in my shawl. It was good. That was
many years ago, though, some big fat friend. Oh we need to
gain You won't leave her alone. You roll your eyes, made sarcastic comments
while you're skinting on that chicken ball. Get to think you won the battle.
But I tend to disagree. See, I know you and your Achilles
heel Manny's standing next to me. My non discriminating phrase on cat your cow,
you let's bro. I will jump on you guys. This is terrible.
I don't think he could do this anymore. Yeah, you know what
fun that? Yes, you could, you can do whatever. The I
think the tides turning back the other it is it is because enough well,
I think because I don't think it was ever. I don't think it the
tip life is cyclical man, Yeah, you know, well, life is
cyclical. The pendulum always comes back. But I'm not sure that the majority
of people move that pendulum. I think the loudest voices did I think if
most people will be going out, Yeah, you know, maybe we should,
you know, clean ourselves up a little bit. Maybe what Governor Cuomo
was doing where he's always kissing women, maybe we should back off. That's
a little encroaching. Yeah, somebody set me a shirtbout a perfect I'll tell
you, I'm not saying the guy was Probably he probably had no intention behind
it other than being a what he thought was a charming politician. All right,
But maybe that's ship we back off of bit that's fine, that's okay.
This other stuff is gone way too fucking far. And I just think
that, Yeah, it's ridiculous, more harmful than good, right, right,
more harmful than good. H Let me call Race and Randy and then
we'll wrap things up. Race and Randy was call me the other day.
You're gonna call me and uh, I do want to ask him about this
person in the fight that happened. And wait till you hear what happened.
It's in the Times of Wayne County. It's always a great read. And
Danny writes a column for the Times Away County. Yeah, Danny writes a
column in the Times in Wayne County that you can read every week. It's
a sports column plus two additional stories. And I think you are three stories
a week. I didn't know that. Oh yeah, what are the other
stories for sports? Oh? They're all sports? Really? Yeah? Yeah?
Hell, hello, it's the podcast. Hey buddy, so righty?
Hey guys, Hey buddy man, are you doing? Randy? I thought,
uh, I want to ask you. You may not know these people,
but did you get the Times Wayne County? No? I didn't.
I haven't had it, didn't even a chance to look at one tell you
the truth. Okay, Well, a truck driver attempting to deliver a pre
built pavilion. A pre built pavilion, I'm not seen, so this has
to be like a big ass wide load type situation. Do you think,
Yeah, for sure. To Canada Street in the village of Red Creek around
nine point thirty ran into a strange problem. First, the driver, he's
a sixty one year old guy, had problems on the hill approaching the delivery.
The homeowner was not home, so they must be this must be a
small pavilion. I guess. I don't know. But her son, Steve
York arrived in Zebo and began, that's more what it sounds like, began
arguing with the driver concerning delivery. Words were exchanged and the driver went forward
towards the excuse me, they say, Yonker should be York? Steve York?
Did they have an editor at the dungeway? They get this right?
So the guy who's the homeowner leans goes at the driver in a threatening way.
The driver was holding a pipe to defend himself. Steve was allegedly poked
in the lip by the pipe, like get away from me. The exchange
between the two men escalated when the driver got back in the truck, and
according to witnesses, Steve reportedly began pounding on the hood of the truck and
threw himself on the ground, screaming he was almost hit by the truck and
then he was gonna file a suit against the driver concerning the incident. This
is some fucking drama. Yeah, this is some drama. Uh. He
requested an ambulance and requests to be taken to Upstate Medical and Syracuse. Following
an investigation, the driver was charged with assault in a third degree, menacing
with a weapon, and reckless endangerment in the second degree. And the guy
probably wasn't really doing anything. He's getting yelled at, right, what in
the fuck? Just like he's an NBA player. I see it every day.
I saw today the guy gets off the bus, goes behind the US
The crosswalk is twenty feet where he could have walked across the street. And
if he gets said to somebody else's fault. And you're just watching the shake
in your head with a bottle of Vaka in his back pocket, I might
add, I'm just like, scream of this guy. What is your fucking
problem? I go to crosswalkers. That's what's wrong with America, the world.
Uh, it's the little things like that titlement. I don't know what
it is, the little things to become big things. Well, look the
idea of look out for number one, Randy, where you told that as
a kid, you know, look out for number one? Kind of mind
your business type of thing. I don't know. I was never told that.
I remember teachers saying always look out for I understand that, But at
the same time, look out for number one may also mean no one to
you know, be courteous of other people, you know, don't make yourself
look like an asshole walking out in the middle of the street, and you
know that kind of thing. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, why would
you be yelling the driver? I don't understand. If you're supposed to get
a delivery? Why are you getting yelled? Why you're yelling at that right?
You know what? It sounds like he couldn't get ap the hill and
he winds up sliding onto the lawn and he's tearing up the lawn. Now
the kid comes down. We was gonna go to look for a solution.
Yeah, Well, if this is where it's gonna be delivered. Why would
we do that, Doug. It's son less entertaining, I know, right.
Uh. Well, then you have a story that barbershop. Yeah,
I got into it with this guy in balla ball Now look at my lip.
Now, I beat me up. He almost ran me over, like
really, Joe. Yeah, I had to set my beer down and everything
out. Yeah, exactly. So, Randy, I heard in in NASCAR
that somebody got they were too short. Yes, that was Ryan Blaney that
NASCAR after they do always do a post race inspection on the cars and said
that one of the shock exorbers was too short. Yeah. Well, so
so with that dead, he had a sixth place finish, which put him
seventeen points below the cut line for the next you know, for the next
cut off to the championship race. Well, they took it back to the
car and some other stuff, but come to find out the machine that they'd
used to check the shocks something had come loose and it was the machine's fault
to give the wrong reading. So they rescinded the penalty penalty good and uh
and put give it back in this sixth place. So now he's only seventeen
points behind under he was fifty six. They went from seventeen to fifty six
back to seventeen, which is good because at fifty six points you're pretty much
going to have to win to get in. What was the difference? Let
people know why a shorter shock would be advantageous to a Racetar two flat.
I mean, they they were the problem. It wasn't my new I couldn't
even tell you. Yeah, I mean shock true. I mean it was
just the way I mean, it wasn't that far off according to what I
read. I'm just trying to figure out, like, what what what advantage
you was? Shakua asked. How the car sits. The may sit lower
give it an aerodynamic aerodynamic advantage. All the cars have got to be pretty
much the same, right, Yeah, and then it just comes to the
driver. The worst part about these new cars they run, I mean they
used used pay to build. You could build a car frame and it mayna
be like sixty thousand. These cars are up to two hundred thousand dollars a
piece about to build these stupid cars. Now, all the way they're going
to them telling me they're getting to act like for the Ferraris and the Borghinis
and all that they're getting super expensive and this was supposed to save money,
and I think it's getting really crazy and I may spend money. The biggest
deal is this, you know, think about it. So you go from
that today that could be a turnaround of money. Sponsorship, What can happen?
You know? Sure? I mean these guys are fire. The sponsors
paid more money they do because it may have costed Roger Penske, you know,
two three million dollars and you know, you knows Ryan, maybe he
went dropping, maybe he went to the championship dropping him, Yeah, but
true. But still you know he's now two or three million dollars is not
a drop in the bucket to anybody who's running a business like that. You
know that that's the difference between you know, being able to hire another guy
to help out and not paying health insurance for somebody supporting a family or numbers,
yeah, you know one of you know they got sponsors, say Minars
the title sponsor. You know, if you make it to the final four,
we'll give you an extra five six hundred thousand dollars. You don't make
it, that's five hundred and six grand, you know text, you know
that's that's still a lot of money. It is, you know, it
also and also goes and the driver might have a bonus thing too. You
know, Hey, if I get to the final floor, I get an
extra you know, nine hundred thousand of my you know pay this year or
something. You know, So it affects a whole bunch of stuff just by
one little I mean, it wasn't much. That shock was little. It
was not much, but it's just enough that they're being so tight on these
cars, sure that they're grabbing people, and that's what's going to happen.
You know, what else is happening? UT doesn't Nascar, UT doesn't rescind
themselves. So it's pretty cool. They came back and said, hey,
it was our mistake. What else has happened in Randy's world right now?
Uh, trying to quits in my world today? Not much TODAYA true.
We've just just been working. We did we did some paving out at the
racetrack last month. We spent spent thirty five thousand dollars get some more payd
to race thirty five grand paving. Yeah, no, paving, put some
more paving over in the pit area and made that a lot nicer for the
return lane and stuff like that. And next month we're sticking five grand into
the tower for new windows, fighting roof and all kinds of stuff. We're
working on the podcast car right now. Randy is going to be a Bilified.
It's going to be black with yellow stripes. Yeah, buddy, blow
the doors off everybody. Flames on the side, flames on the yellow flame.
Randy, you and I are going to drive and we're gonna do an
endurance race. We're gonna split it, okay, all right, Well,
I wanted to make sure that I touch base with you, and then I
wanted to see if you knew anything about Steve York or or familiar with the
story. I was more auburn than than where you are. Yeah, I
mean that's just that's just you know, the three one five lament. What
do you expect? What are you freaking expect? You know? And it's
you know, stuff like that. It happened, you know, it's just
people. I just don't understand it. Some days. I just I'm just
I just shake my head and you know what. And then I said,
man, I'm glad it wasn't me. I say, that's my so.
But other than that nothing. Hey, next race is coming to Homestead Miami,
which is where they raced. It used to be the finale who was
at Homestead Miami every year and they switched to Phoenix back a couple of years
ago. So this will be an interesting race to watch. You know,
Martin Truex is uh, he's not having you know, he was the guy
who won a regular season championship and he's been having a tough playoffs. He
still made it. They made a bad call the other day almost cost him
out. He's you know, he's he's like just like two points above the
cut off line. So it's gonna be interesting. I'll tell you right now,
I'm gonna I think Kyle Larson is gonna win it all. I really
do. But I gotta watch Danny Hamlin, Danny Hammond. This might be,
it might be, I mean, but it's good. It's you say,
the next two races are going to be we'll get in the championship.
I can't wait, you know. I just Denny Hammer might get in,
but he never does crap when he's in gyms race. Maybe it'll change this
year. Who knows. Kyle Larsa right now is a favorite. Kyle that
is who he called early on when he wrote the article about him. No,
William Byron, but Randy said, William Byron Byron's going to have a
breakout year, and he has. Yeah. Last year, Randy said that
Kyle Larson was gonna have the hell of a year, and he was right.
He won like what six races. Yeah, you know, there you
go. You know car Damas. Every February he does his pics of the
Times Times Awayne County. Randy, thank you, buddy, You're welcome.
Guys, We'll talk to you later. He goes race and Randy, all
right, we'll close it out. I was going to close it out with
Big Fat Friend again because I just love that song I haven't heard so long
and always maybe laugh. I think Doug could do a little. If you
can play guitar and sing, I can sing. I can't believe its the
what's your Karaoke? I didn't know this? I sing, uh, I
sing some Elvis obviously, Joy to the World, taking care of business,
Johnny be good, Little's easy tap, Oh man, we gotta I gotta
see that. Yeah, I'm jumped on stage a few times. Believe it
now. Way's one my my best song for karaoke is Tennessee whiskey. Love
that song. But I can do everything I do. I just did last
week. I did Taylor Swift. Mean, that's an image I can't And
uh is there a Kelsey in Valve? No, No, I don't know
who he is. He's the Taylor's new boyfriend place for the chiefs. Uh,
next time you come in, we'll have to we'll have to have your
sing to Swift. Actually, everybody at the table can sing except for me.
Danny's in a band. Doug can sing and then fashion a little bit.
Yeah, I think we'd have that. Yeah stage, absolutely suspicious minds.
I'm caught in a trap, sharp dressed man. And then once the
second verse, because everybody's crazy about a Dougie freshman, tell yeah, they
got six months to live. Doug's got his bowl. What's it called?
Breast Cancer Bowling Event Best Breast Cancer Thirteenthaniel Doug Felf's bowling event for breast cancer
benefits a breast cancer coalition ratches And this Saturday at bowler Row and Henrietta Fat's
where a you're gonna be Saturday, I'm gonna be playing poker all night.
But I think I'm gonna be at this thing with Dougie Fresh at the Bowling
l one to four and Danny and I. I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah,
we'll see you Thursday. All right, there we go,