Made a decision. I'll face the sunny sad on I had a vision by
what's up, everybody up? Oh? You know, I've been listening to
a podcast that you recommended that I really like watch was just Betrayal, but
season two, which is fucking disturbing, is all get out but right good
best way, in the best way. Okay, So did you see what
I meant by like when we're watching the show Betrayal, where you're like,
why, I would be like, okay, but when's the like kittie porn
gonna start up? Right? All right? Oh? Yeah? Yeah?
I was like, okay, so the guy cheated. Yeah, but but
but what about the porn? Oh you thought it was child porn because I
thought it was season two? Oh I get it. Yeah, I loved
right out of the gate child porn on our family show. It's a parenting
show, Betty see scam or whatever they call it c spam? What do
they call Sam? Or say see Sam? Right? Yeah, that's from
we learn that underage undercover. Great show See Sam is something like something child
sexual material material? Yeah? Sexual? Yeah? Yeah, this is gone
south maybe already forty seconds say hi, let's say hi, let's change the
subject, and we'll see these people on zoom hopefully because we're doing our zoom
this this Friday, this this Sunday night, sorry, today's Friday, this
Sunday night. We're gonna zoom zoom zoom zoom. Y'all invited. If you're
at the ten dollars level, ye can't wait to see you. Yeah,
we want to talk to you people. Maybe Kylin will show up. You
don't know what's going to happen. He can pop on there. Yeah,
come on, don't think you think Amy would come on. I don't know.
Maybe maybe she's invited, will show up. Oh Kaylin's kids. Guys,
some cuteness is gonna happen. What time six o'clock xpm Pacific time?
Yeah, her time, yeah, uh about an hour. It'll be really
fun. You're all welcome. Stephanie Stinker Wrinker is welcome, and Krista you
make me want to stroop is welcome, and Sandra Green You're welcome. Yeah,
Jennifer Falls get up, but you're also welcome there as Sefato welcome,
Leslie Wycoff, She's she'll be on there, will never be on there.
She's been our she was like our O g Patreon subscriber, never heard for
don't know who she is. She's like a ghost, but we love her.
She's a lovable ghost. Alicia Escalante, Kelly Brandt, she'll be there
and support of you. Rebecca Lubin, she does come along, does she
does? She don't cut e Shawn Rope that as he came. He's been
there. Yes, that's right, that's how we know. That's how we
know he's Yeah, showed that ass. Missy and Gabby they've been on before.
Yeah they have. I've met Missy on she took my writing class.
Oh that's right. Yeah, and we've seen we've met Gabby. So they
won't be missing then. No, Katarina, she's gonna be missing her.
Mohler, Valerie, Bubba Fenwick. I think she's been on there before.
She has. Yeah, Polly, we love your pancakes. See you there
Athena Ginshurt. She's been there for shore, for shore. Elizabeth Williamson,
she's been there, been there. She's I think at the last one maybe
yeah, uh, hero been there. But your kids love you. Rita
Rocks that Bostonet, Jacob Is Growley Leslie accosted somebody just the other day outside
seven eleven, she tried something different. She's switching it up, trying to
get the cops off her tail. Ashley's a very chic Nikki call you parole
Officer, Laurie's gory. Randy may Ames has got a lot of names.
Rachel's not a not an old timer just yet. And Aaron land ho it
is m So you went to a baby shower. I went to Olga's daughter's
baby shower wow over the weekend and it was really cute and Olga and she
is so over the moon. She's gonna be a grandma. Is this gonna
be her first friends? Yeah, she's a little freaked out though, because
she you know, she's gonna be a grandma for God's sakes, and she
doesn't feel that way, you know, but she's I can see it.
Yeah, I could see it too. Yeah, she's gonna be a great
grandma. Yeah she is. And her daughter is adorable and they had a
baby shower and I okay, so it was on Sunday, as baby showers
are usually off, and I show up on time and I'm there and I
see this girl and I'm like, this girl looks really familiar. And I'm
looking at her and She's walks past me like she doesn't see me, and
I'm like, god, she's so familiar, and I realized she's my fucking
next door neighbor at the condo. Oh my god, who also walks by
me at the condo like she don't know me. She's got kind of yeah
because used to live there. And that's her daughter became friends with the next
door neighbor. How the hell did she become friends with this bitch? Because
I tried very hard this this woman lives my next diord neighbor. She's also
the woman her boyfriend dogs attacked Phil. I don't know if I told you
this. When I had Phil at the condo, he well, when he
had its surgery, he had a belly full of stitches and he had his
cone of shame on and he came and stayed with me for a couple of
days because I was nursing him back to health. And Phil, oh god,
I didn't tell you. Also that he got out over the weekend.
And I tell you that again. He gets out all the time, and
to find him, I find on next door on the next door app that
he's out out and about. So it's moved from Facebook it's graduates graduated.
I just get a an email on next door app Hey, Lynette, your
your dog Phil was out, but we have him, and I'm like,
what the fuck anyway, okay, this just happened. Yeah, all right,
one story at a time. Yeah, sorry, okay, so this
girl, so wait, girl, go back to so hold on. So
I have this dog. I'm taking care of the dog. At the condo.
They have these two little dogs all right that they are constantly out walking
out in front of my balcony and whatever. And their dogs always come up
to my front door because they think that Paula and her dogs are still they
are living there, but there's no their dog is long gone. I live
there. So I'm walking Phil with his belly full of stitches, and this
guy and his two dogs, his dogs come and they start bark likeever,
you know, like they're going after Phil, and I have to do the
sweep the leg on one of them. I sweep the leg on the one
dog because I'm scared he's gonna like go after his stitches. He was very
close to his belly, his little are these dogs on a leash? No
they're not. Wait, what's yeah, they're just they just came out and
they come out concil Yeah, like they come up to my door. You
know, they come out, they walk their dogs, but they're not on
a leash, and their dogs always come up the steps. So I'm coming
out of the door with Phil. They come out like coming at and hot,
and I gotta do the sweep of one of them. And now I
don't even know who's dog. I'm so in the moment, I don't even
know whose dog it is. And I turn around. It's my next door
neighbors and he's trying to get them. I'm like, oh my god,
just you know, I had this little like incident with them. But the
thing is is that she's always been very cold to me before this happened.
Like she just walks by and doesn't say one word. Her boyfriend's very nice,
but he but she I've I've said hi door a million times. I've
given up. So now when she walks by and I'm outside, I just
ignore. Now I'm at now fast forward, I'm at this baby shower and
I see this woman and I'm like, she looks familiar. She's ignoring me
that that feels very familiar. Who is this? And then I was realized
think, oh, it's my next door neighbor. Yeah, and then I
sit next to Olga. So then I met the baby shower, right,
I don't know anybody, anybody except for Olga and Paula. That's it,
and might barely know my next door neighbor. Then then I run into Olga's
two sisters, Madi and Nadia, who are hilarious and they're just like Olga.
They're the best. And and then I run into like the two old
nannies from our old neighborhood that Olga has stayed in touch with. And this
is like we're talking like sixteen years ago. And Adam used to call like
it's a namboree at our house because all of them would come, the two
nannies. So then I run into one of them and I remember her name,
Eddica. But then I run into the other one. I can't remember
her name, and she's so happy to see me, and I'm like,
oh, what's your name? Oh my god, Marie. Oh yeah,
thanks Olga. Anyway, so I'm now I'm friends with like six of the
Latin ladies. And so then I go and mosy my way and I sit
at Olga's table because I don't know anybody else. Yeah, why wouldn't you,
Right, how many people are there? There's probably like fifteen girls and
it's hosted by the twin. That's so Olga. Before she came to work
for us, she started with the family the boy Girl. They had boy
girl twins and they grew up with Paula actually, and they're like the same
age and they're now and they're they're thirties. But Olga started with them and
they were like one year old, and then she stayed with them until they
were like sixteen or whatever, and then she left and then she came to
us. So she's been with us for seventeen years, going strong. And
now the one daughter, the twin, is throws throwing the party for Paula,
which is cute. It's very cute. Yeah. Anyway, so I
sat with all the Latin ladies at the table and then they do the they're
playing all the games, right, it's a baby shower with all the games.
My least favorite thing in the world, I know, I know,
I know games. I had a baby shower. My sister in law through
it, me also Chelsea Handler through it from some of my friends and it
was my big edict no games. Yeah, one single game. Nothing even
that smells like yeah, and I'm not opening drink and hang out yeah same.
No. I did end up opening presents because people were so insistent,
right right, yeah, well this, I knew there was gonna be games,
so I just said I was like, gonna go with the flow.
I was picturing myself sitting at a table with nobody and maybe getting lucky talking
to Olga. She's available to talk to me, because I was like thinking
to myself, I'm not going to know anybody, but fine, anyway,
so I sit, I sit at the table with the Namborees and Olga seisters
and I'm and they're all speaking Spanish and I'm laughing because they're having a good
time. So I'm laughing with them. And then I'm telling Olga what they
say, what they say, and she's like she's saying that when Paula was
lead all that she shit her pants and then this one la da da da
da. You know, they're telling me the story. Then we're playing baby
bingo. Oh yeah, and then it's like so I'm like getting in,
like okay, baby bottle. So and then I'm like okay, coma say
I'm a baby bottle. And then they're telling me how to say all the
words bib, baby bib. You know in Spanish stroller, how do you
say stroll? A lot of the words are the same in English as they
are in Spanish from what I've learned. But had a good time, had
a great time. That food was phenomenal, it was fun. Did you
win bingo? I did? I won bingo? You did? Yeah?
Olga kept yelling bingo as a joke, and I'm like, it's shut up,
man, I'm into this. I'm gonna play. You gotta show her
impractical jokers, jokers bingo, I said. I totally thought of that.
I know. Yeah, I won. I won a shawl, and I
won a sippy cup that has like says summertime like o. Not a sippy
cup, but one of those big plastic jugs. Okay, some time somebody
made it and donated the bingo, or they got it at the dollar store,
or they got it at the dollar store. The shawls really cute though.
It was blue, baby blue. Yeah. Olga had her nails.
All are her and all are sisters. They're so cute. They had all
their nails done baby blue. You know, because the baby it's a girl.
But I'm just kidding. So, okay, that's bad. So whatever
happened with the neighbor though? So did the neighbor ever talk to you?
No? I sat next to you, tell sat behind me. She still
ignored me at this party. Yes, So I said, I go,
oh god, what's with her? She doesn't say hi to me? And
she goes, oh, no, she's like that. She's like that.
She was like that for a long time with Paula, and then Paula got
a dog, and then their dogs started playing and hanging out, and then
she became friends. And I'm like, well, I sweeped her dog into
the bushes, so I don't think she's gonna be saying hi to me anytime
soon. So what happened when you had to kind of sweep the dog's legs?
Well? So did the boyfriend get mad? No? He was yelling
at his dogs to get off of my dog. And he's like saying,
he's sorry, sorry, And I was like, I didn't say anything.
I was like whatever, whatever I was pulling, trying to pull Pip Phil
away, and he's got his helmet thing on his cone on his head right,
and I'm pulling it. I didn't even he couldn't even defend him.
So he couldn't because he couldn't he didn't have peripheral vision. Because these two
little focks are coming after him in two different directions. They're bearing their teeth,
which I hate. Yeah, you know, and I'm like, what,
I don't know if they're gonna bite him or not exactly. Yeah,
they shouldn't have been off leaves, no, I know. I hate that
shit. I've had that happen in my neighborhood. This one guy, I
mean the dog really tried to attack Penelope and I freaked out. You know,
I'm like, I remember dog was running off the law off their front
lawn and I was like, get your dog. And then the guy's like
you need to calm down or whatever, like you need to keep your freaking
dogs and dogs barking and growling and trying to attack Penelope. Right, And
see, my complex is in in clothes, so I know I don't know
whose dogs these are at first, because I'm just in you know, fight
mode to keep Phil safe. I'm not looking around, so but I know
that they're from the neighbor there's somebody's it's gotta be turns out my next door
neighbor perfect that that's uncomfortable guy with the mall it, he has a wallet,
he's balding with a long hair. Yeah, just shave it at the
right now. Like, what the in your girlfriend too? I come on
lighting up bitch. Well, I don't know why she's in. Say hi
to me and she's just very I don't know. So you didn't want to
just be like, hey, it's me your neighbor. No, I didn't
I hear you? And then I then I was trying to leave at one
point and all goa goes. You're not leaving, are you? Like?
Oh no, I'm switching to I'm going to sit by year seasters. Then
I sat with them for a while and then I was like all right,
after three hours, right a baby shower? I was done. Yeah,
but it was very sweet. Mexican baby showers are long. Yeah, they
go for a long time. I was out. When my kids were in
elementary school, we would get invited to a lot of the Hispanic families birthday
parties and stuff, and it was so funny because you know, white people
have a birthday party, you're in out two hours. They put the time
it's this is one to three at three o'clock, see you later. Yeah,
there's no end time, see your way out. Yeah, oh no,
the one to three would never be on These Mexican families would be like
you'd get there at like one fifteen, nobody's there. No, they're like
just the family, like they're they're looking at you like what why are you
even here? And I remember before, before I got used to it and
understood the cultural difference, you'd be like, like, are you guys gonna
be doing cake soon? Because like you know, now there said this was
like we figured one to three, but it's now like six pm. We're
kind of wondering, like like we're the kids want cake like they're in the
second grade, you know, And they'd be like, oh no. I
mean there's times, yes, like there'll be like you know, you get
there and then there's they were running on time pretty well at the baby shower.
But there's times where I've gone to these parties and you get and you're
starving and they just have crackers and cheese out, and but you can smell
you can see them setting up like the barbecue, so you know there's gonna
be real food coming right then it's like you've been there for two hours and
they're just starting the grill. And then they're like, what the hell's starving?
Like, when is this gonna? Is it gonna? Are we gonna
eat Ambergers anytime soon? Then you start smelling the food being cooked and not
ready yet. No no no, no, no, no no no.
Then four hours go by, another beer, Yeah, no more savasis for
me. I'm hungry now at this point, come on. Yeah. It's
so funny. And then the the they don't end though either. It's like
you have to basically be like, okay, bye because the family, they'll
stay. They're just hanging out there there the duration. The family's the family.
They're there right and they're having a good old time and they're on their
own time and they're hospitable. They're like stay, like where are you going
right, And you're like, but this is my fifth hour and my kids
to bed. They're like, we're still doing down. There's like a fourth
dessert, you know. They're like, but we haven't done the pinata yet.
You're like, I gotta go some egos. Yeah, it's very different
than us white folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, honestly Whitey's were like,
it's been an hour and forty five minutes. Get the fuck out,
bye bye, I got here. Oh yeah, that we have no family.
I know, they're like, where are your parents? Yet there's no
answer. Uncle, there's no ceasters, no no ceasters. Okay, so
Phil got out. Yes, this is that, this was at the house.
As this is at the house. Yeah, and let's talk. Let's
take a break and then I'll tell you about Today's show is sponsored by Better
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bo. So you're I can't believe I didn't tell this story. This happened
a few weeks ago. Okay, well you forgot it. Well you remember
when we got that pounding on our house set, yeah, thing. Yeah,
So I was talking to people. I've never post on nextdoor, but
I love going down that rabbit hole. So I did post on nextdoor,
app like, hey, this happened to us. Is it happening? You
know what's going on in our neighborhood? Thing? Then my next door neighbor
or she no, she's the lady that lives at the end of the street
in our cul de sac. She responded and said, you know what was
going on, like she heard helicopters and police and stuff like that. Anyway,
so I guess when you ever you message somebody, so then we exchange
phone numbers on you know, direct message on next door. So whenever that
happens, you get an email, right right. So okay, so I've
that happened all right. Now, fast forward a few weeks later. I'm
at the condo. The kids are at the house, and it's a Saturday
afternoon. Actually Natalia is off. Natalia was there and now she's gone.
Sonny's at home by himself. I get it. I looked at I look
at my email. I get an email on my next door app and it's
my neighbor at the end of the street, Higlandette. Phil was out this
morning, but just so you know, I put him back in your backyard.
He's in your backyard now and I was like, oh, well,
thank you. And the thing is, people are always Phil is micro chip,
and people are always like, why does any ever has collar on?
So people know where That's a good question. But he goes in the pool
so much. He's gotten so many rashes around his neck from that collar being
wet, right, and if anybody has like, is there a waterproof collar
out there? I don't know. And also I would like to get him
GPS so I can track him where he is at. You can get one
of those. You can get that tracks. You can always just it's like
a tile for your keys, but you have it for your dog. I
would love that. But he doesn't wear a collar. That's the problem.
So people similar things. She has a caller with her tags on it.
She as soon as we put it on her she takes it off. Even
if we put it on too tight then she can't get it off. But
then she like is like she has a like she's trying to get it off
all the time. It makes her crazy. I don't know why, right,
And we don't have a collar. She's chipped too, but she just
doesn't go anywhere. But Phil does. Phil he's a wanderer. He's a
man about town. I mean he is fat black stone and gad there's no
moss. And we talked about there. One time I was on the Facebook
community page of our community and there's Phil, like there's this picture on like
like having a good old time shot, like a mug shot. Anybody know
whose dog this is? I found it and I was like, oh my
god. So now I'm like okay. So then I called I thanked the
lady for dropping Phil back off. And then I called Sunny and I go,
hey, you're at home. I said, Phil's in the backyard.
Is there something open? And how did he get out? Because the neighbor
found him and he goes, oh, And then he goes, oh,
I saw him. I just walked by. He was in the backyard.
I'll go get him. So then he goes and I go check all the
gates because the other thing too, we have we have a lot of foot
traffic going on because we're showing the house, right, So that's the thing.
And so he goes out. He goes, and many five minutes later
he calls me and he goes he was in the backyard. Now I don't
I can't find him. Yeah, And I'm like, I'm getting ready to
go out. You know, this is like five o'clock. I've got a
dinner, I'm going getting ready to go to I'm thirty minutes from home,
basically, yeah, So Sunny's at home by himself. I said, where's
dad. Dad's an hour away. So I'm like, oh, god,
okay, Sonny, what you know. I said, get on your electric
bike. Go look for because Sonny's got his electric bike, right, And
I said, go look for Phil. I guess I'm gonna drive home and
go I'm gonna come home and help you. So and then I call our
next door I get our next door neighbor on the phone. She's in Palm
Spring, she's not home. She gives me the name of the lady across
the street and goes, she's she's got an her adult son is at home.
He can help Sonny. And then I tell Sonny I'm gonna call and
go Sonny. He's like, don't bother everybody. Don't Sonny's embarrassed. He's
like, don't call the Calorie, don't get the neighbors involved. He's they
all find Phil, and if you're gonna come home, you can help me.
And I'm like, all right, at this point, you don't know
how long Phil has been gone, right, I don't. I have no
idea than a few hours. Yes, And I'm now worried, Like,
where the hell's Phil? I don't know how well, Yeah, I don't
know. I'm worried about him. So I get in the car. Yeah,
I'm probably a touch embarrassed since the lot he had just gotten out exactly.
Cul de Sac Lady's like, hey, your dog's back in the backyard,
and now you're like, oh, back out. Yeah, And I
sent her an email a direct message, and I go by the way just
in case your home Phil got out again and my son is home alone.
I'm on my way, but if you're around, she answers me the next
day. Sorry, I didn't see this till the next anyway. So I
get in the car. My hair's I just get out of the shower.
My hair is all wet and a towel, I get in the car,
I drive Sonny's like on. Then I get a text from my next door
neighbor who's in Palm Springs, telling me that she talked to the lady across
the street son and he in fact, she got a hold of him and
he said there's an englishman in the cul de sac on the other street that
has Phil, Like he's an Australian guy in the neighborhood. And I call
Sonny and Sun I fed like a I need like a map like brook you
know that podcast we did like with timelines and like, yeah, who's arrows
and like family map of Yeah, to know who these people are. Go
on, So ladies call. Then she sends me a text though I'm driving
now on the freeway. Sonny's on the bike on the go. He goes
and finds he finds Phil, and then Sonny goes, I got him.
I'm on my bike, I got I took his he took his leash with
him. I'm I'm taking him home. As I'm getting off the freeway after
I sat in traffic by the way to get to Sonny. As I get
home, he finds Phil. How did Sonny find the Englishman. He went
down. He went down this one this one area that Phil likes to go
down. He took he took his time. He went down there and he
found the guy and he was there and I was telling him that the neighbor
said, and he goes, I already found here. I beat you to
it. And so he found the guy. Well at least he and go
off to like a horse trail. That's the thing he does, go on
trails. Yeah, I know, Thank god. This time he came out
onto the main street. Okay, so you did you go home? No?
I As soon as I got off the freeway, Sonny goes, I
got him. I'm home. I'm practically home. So did you turn around?
Yeah, I go, okay, are you good? You put him
in the house now, please keep his collar on. Put him in the
house, you know, and got check he did. He checks those gays
because Sonny hates when Phil gets out. It bothers him, right, Yeah,
So he checked all the gates and that was that. And I got
home and that's that. You know, this dog just doesn't stop. Whether
he's in surgery or he's out and about man about town. He's a handful.
It's usually when I'm not there. By the way, Well, I
had an eventful day the other day. I have a little story for you.
Okay, So when I told you this, but when Elby did not
get into college or did not get into any of the colleges she wanted to
go to, and it was becoming very clear that she was going to have
to do community college, I told her and she was so upset. I
was like, well, look, you know, so you'll live at home.
You're going to save us a whole bunch of money. Because I don't
know if people realize this, but since Elby's doing a one year program,
she'll she'll start school as a junior, right, so she's basically doing two
years of community college in one year because she has enough credits from her from
high school to move her ahead. So anyway, the whole point of that
meets saying that is it's a very big money saver. And I was like,
well, look, we're going to get you a car so that you
know, because I'm like, she needs to live at home. She shouldn't
be. I don't think she should be going out and getting an apartment and
trying to do that, like save your money, get your car and but
then we promptly didn't get her a car because John and I take forever to
do anything, like we're so indecisive. So then our whole thing was like,
Okay, do we like Li's a car? You know? Well,
John and I both have very different anxieties, Like I am way more scrappy
because he's like East Coast Wasp grew up with like not rich at all,
Like he went to like private school, like a boarding school, but he
was local basically prep school, I should say, right, but like his
parents drove used cars, and like he was definitely not rich, and he
was around a bunch of rich people, but he grew up his parents had
money and stability, and I grew up without a lot of that and was
way scrappier. And to me, like, no one was going to be
buying me a car, Like that's insane. Like I bought my first car,
which I've told you many times, for a thousand dollars with almost one
hundred thousand miles on it. Yeah too. But John was like, like,
we're getting her a safe car, you know. And it's funny because
my brain goes both ways. As the mom, I'm like, yeah,
of course we're getting her a safe car. But like, as the kid
who didn't get anyone to buy me a car, I'm like, can't.
Why shouldn't she suck it up and have like a s a shitty beat her
car? Like of course in practice, Like so we've been talking to Adam
and like going back and forth of like because Adam's giving me advice. Our
our guy, Adam, Adam who I've do his ads for him, Adam
Learner, Adam Lerner. So I've been going back and forth with Adam and
I'm like, well, what do you think we should do? And I'm
looking on cars dot com and I'm just checking out everything available and he's like
telling me, okay, this lease and maybe you should think about this.
But every time we get close to it, then John goes, I don't
know, and like maybe we should do this. So then then you know
what, I just go, oh, let's just table it for a minute.
And I'm always like, anyway, my foot is broken. But it's
really annoying to share the thing is that when Elbe was in school, I
wasn't going place as much. So we have two cars, we're both home
all the time, so it wasn't really a pain except for every once in
a while, like you're like, I want to just I want to go
out with my friends or something, but Elbie's out with the car. And
then it's like John can't go get the kids dinner or take anybody anywhere.
And now the kids are wanting to go places more. It's become My point
is it's becoming more of a pain in the app And we did already promise
her a while ago. But she's a really good kid and she doesn't go
like, hey, where's my car, like ever right, But I've told
her. I've been like, don't worry, like we're on it. I'm
looking. But she also knows what that means when it comes to me,
She's like, that means i'll get a car in twenty twenty five. Yeah.
So anyway, I just got like a while I was like, you
know what we need to do that. We need to do this. We
need to get her a car because school's about to start back up. She's
about to start driving to her classes and I don't want to be sharing a
car anymore, and I want her to like, and her boyfriend's about to
leave for school, She's going to get real sad and she's and it's summertime.
She wants to go play. She's out with the car all the time.
I feel like I'm having to share a car with John as it is.
So I just said, you know what we gotta do this, didn't
talk to Elbi about it. I looked up a car. I looked up
at two thousand sixteen Jetta and it had because it had less than fifty thousand
miles on it, and it was like, those are good cars, right,
they are, but we're not used to driving jettas we never had a
Jetta. So anyway, I present the idea to John getting a used car
and he's like, okay. So I send the car to Adam and Adam
texted me back He's like apps, not like well, He's like, look,
i'll get you. I'll find you a much better deal on a Jetta.
Do not go earlier than twenty eighteen. Yeah, he's like, the
car's almost eight years old at this point. I give her a car even
if it has less than fifty thousand miles. Stuff is going to start to
go wrong. But then he was like, if you're interested in to use
Jetta, I have a hook up for one. So he sends me this
car and it's a twenty twenty Jetta that had just been leased for three years,
still under warranty, only like a thousand dollars more than the twenty sixteen,
like a very low price. So I show it to John and shockingly,
John is like, yeah, it seems like a good car. Sends
it to his friend, who knows a lot about cars, just as it
like, it's like, Adam's my friend. So he sends it to his
friend who's like into cars, and the guy's like, yeah, Jettas are
pretty safe and they last a long time. So John's like okay. So
then, so this was on Saturday. You're gonna love this part of the
story. I'm like. So Adam's like, listen, my guy at this
dealership, we can just deliver you the car. Decide you want the car,
like Sight Unseen. If you want to test drive the car, though,
you gotta go to Garden Grove. Oh hell, which is like disneyl
It's far, it's far, and it's trafficky. There's no good time to
go to Garden Grove. Now, Garden Grove is like past where you live,
Kalen, I think just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, a
little bit past where you live. But then it's like far off the it's
not just Garden Grove. It's like you were talking about when you went to
Ye, Like, yeah, it's not right there. You can't see it
from the freeway. Okay. So anyway, we were both like, Okay,
well I got a broken foot. I'm not gonna be able to drive
this car home even if we go. So Adams like, if you guys
want to go, oh, but I was like, feels kind of wrong
to just to just buy a used car site of but can't she go to
like a Jetta, you know, place nearby? And because we wanted to
surprise her, oh, I didn't want to tell her, like let her
think that she's never getting this car, because that's her. How Steph and
John are, They're just like, well, then who's going to test the
car? You can't you guys go to Blaze close by close? No?
Because well here's the thing. It's a used car. So if it was
a brand new car, sure we could go test any old Jetta and then
go, okay, order it. But it's like it's just you don't know
right, Like it only had twenty nine thousand miles on it like over three
year old car, but like we don't know and you want to see it,
like you could look at a picture, but what happens if you you're
buying. We were going to buy this car outright, so we were just
like, it just seems like a mistake. There's no refunds, Like it
seems like a mistake to not see this car in person. But at the
same time, we're like, that's a three that's three hours right right,
yeah, but we decided to do it. Should we take a quick break,
Let's take it. What happened? What happened? What happened happen.
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were just like, okay, we're doing this. We're gonna do this.
So we and Adam was like making the wheeling and dealing with the dealership for
me, getting the price locked in so that they don't like, let's go
a question. Any time people like we go look for cars, they're always
far away? Why can't the car be in van eyes? Like why like
it's always in Costa Mesa, or or or Victorville or you know, El
Segundo. And yeah, I was looking for a car recently, and every
time I found one that I was like, oh that's a good deal.
Yeah it was in like yeahs like forest, Like what the first Yeah,
buy a car so far away? Anyway, I don't know, but like
there were there are some jettas that were closer, but there was like this
car still under warranty, it's got another eight months left on the warranty.
There were things about it that I was like, it's like, oh,
there'd be another one, but it would have like forty thousand miles on it.
This one had only twenty nine and it's like eleven thousand miles kind of
makes a difference. That's like a year's where on a car. So I
was like, there's just enough things about this car that feel like it makes
it worth it to go out there. Yeah, I get it, and
and I looked even on the website. Anyway, it doesn't really matter.
But Adam was Adam said, he goes, well, they'll bring the car
to you. I was like, well, we just feel like it would
be a mistake not to test drive it. Yeah, they still spoiler alert,
they still have to drive the car out to us because I didn't.
I couldn't drive. We both went out there, but even though we ended
up buying the car, we couldn't. I couldn't drive that car or our
car back home that far because on my foot. Yeah. I have been
driving a little bit around town, but just that's a long drive in traffic
without the boot on my foot. Anyway, So we drive all the way
out there. I mean, it was kind of fun. We listened to
a podcast, oh that's listened to The Opportunist and all the way back to
episode to the first her first episode which is about Sherry Shriner, which is
this end of the world cult right crazy story turned John onto that we're having
fun. We get out there. It's just so funny because it's just kind
of anti climatic because we see the car and we're like, yeah, it
looks just like the picture. And the guy's like, great, you want
to test drive it. We test drive it. We're like yeah, drives
just like a brand new car, like nothing to see here, and we're
like, well, yeah, I mean yeah, let's buy it. Yeah,
what color is it? It's white? Oh nice? So you know
this is like the teen or late teen or early twenties girl car, like
a white Volkswagen Jetta apparently, And I found out because our insurance, you
know, it's going to be it adds a lot of money to insurance.
Are insure Lady said, insurance is high on Jetta's why because they're the most
popular car among youth youth drivers, and youth drivers get in the most accidents
interest so insurance right now is like crazy. Anyway, right I had to
get insurance for the car that I got, and it was just it was
it was absolutely insane. I didn't know what I was gonna do. Luckily,
Amy was able to like put me on her her family's state farm plan.
They've had state farm for like thirty or forty years. So I got
But before that, I was going from insurance to insurance to insurance. I
tried to get an insurance broker through Patrick. Even that deal was expensive.
It was like, what the fuck is going on with insurance right now?
Yeah, we have a broker, Yeah, because we're trying to get Sunny
on our insurance. Now that he's guys driver's license. It's crazy. It
is the only good thing is if he's got a good GPA, then they'll
give you a discount. That's about it. Yeah, so Elbi had that
she had the good GPA. That so did Sonny. The good student discount
it's called. But then that much that then Elbie got in an accident,
remember she hit a car on the freeway on the entry entry. Thank you
and that you're our insurance skyrocketed yea, and it we won't go back down
for another year because she it was two years ago. What a year from
October she'll have Yeah, she got her license like end of August, and
by October she'd had her first little fender bender. The thing is like a
lot of teenagers get an a fender and then your rates. Shoot, it's
already high, and then you have a kid who's had an accident. Now
it's really high. There's no way around it. John kept saying, I
know, but the insurance. But the insurance. I'm like, I mean,
it's there's no way around it. Like it is what it is.
Yeah. So anyway, we were there for a long time, so now
I've gotten used to something to know about having a car broker. Like if
I just let Adam do the steal for me, and if it was a
new car or a least car, the car would just show up in our
driveway and then you just signed the paperwork. But when you go to a
dealership, Oh my god, it's really like that old school. Like I
hadn't dealt with this in a in many years because we've always used car brokers
and the last couple of cars with Adam. But now like we're at this
car dealership because Adam wasn't gonna go like we if we wanted it delivered,
Adam would have met us in our driveway, the car would have come,
that paperwork would have been pre done, literally sign it. Have a good
day. No, So you're you're sit there with the guy. We have
to sign all this paperwork, and we're like, we're paying for the car,
doesn't matter. To run your credit then you then you have to go
in and with the finance guy and they never have a sense of humor.
They just look at you. We're trying to make jokes. I'm like,
do we get like a mug? Do we get like a Volkswagen bug.
He's like, no, I don't do. I don't give anything for free.
How about a pen? I know. I was like, okay,
we're kind of kidding and be here all day like he was super serious.
But uh but like anyway, all the people there at this place is Garden
Grove, Volkswagen of Garden Grove. Like everybody was super nice though, you
know, and they're like, can we get you water? Can we get
you this? I mean, you're buying a car. They're like nice to
you, you know, but anyway, Okay, meanwhile, Elby has no
idea. So Elbi, we were in our Prius and Elbi loves to drive
our other our Volkswagontiguans. So now it's getting late and I'm like, John,
Elby's gonna totally know we can't surprise her because she's gonna like three sixties
and see that. We're at Volkswagen Garden Grove and I had told her that.
I was like, don't worry, we're looking at some cars and she
you know. So I'm like, she's gonna put two and two together.
John goes, no, she's not. She's a teenager. She doesn't give
a fuck where we are. I'm gonna turned out to be true. She's
not like men something. Where is she? Where are my kids? John's
like, they don't do that. They don't care. I know. But
I was like, but she has to leave for work at like four thirty,
around the time that it's getting to be four thirties, she's gonna be
like, where's the car because it's got her parking pass in it. And
I'm like, then she's gonna lie through sixties. John's like, no,
she's not. She's gonna text us and go, hey, you guys have
the prius. I need my parking paths. So I text her and I'm
like, hey, you need to take the other car to work. And
she's like, oh, you're gonna be gone, And I was like,
yeah, we're gonna be getting home after you leave for work. And she's
like oh okay. So I need my parking pass. I'm like, well,
we won't be home in time. She's like okay, I'll figure it
out. Doesn't care. Okay. So we get home. We don't have
the car with us because I can't drive it home, but they were delivering
it the next morning. So Elby goes to work. After work, she
goes to her boyfriend's doesn't come home until the next morning, went so John.
So we get the car, park it on the street in front of
the house. I'm like, well, she's gonna pull up to the driveway
and she's gonna be like, oh, like she's gonna see it. And
John's like, no, she's not. And I was like, yeah,
she is that Joe goes Elbi. He's like, she's Elby is not that
observant, I promise you. And I was like okay, I'm all you
know. He's like, listen, let me run the play like you just
don't worry about it. It's gonna be a surprise, okay. So Elbie
comes home, walks in the house. Oh, and I'm peeking at her
through the blinds through our bedroom and he's like, go ahead and watch her
if you want. She's not going to look back at that car. She
doesn't think. She's not thinking about it. I look at her, does
not have in She doesn't look back. She gets out of the car.
She head down, looking at her phone. Comes into the house. John
goes elby and she's like yeah, and he's like, listen, you're not
in trouble, but just like you need you need to stop driving the Volkswagen
like as much. And she's like, well, Mom told me to take
it to work because like you guys had the pree like immediately like defensive but
not like upset. He's like, listen, I get it. He's like,
but just like lately, you've just really been driving the Volkswagen a lot,
and like I've talked to you about putting the miles on that Volkswagen.
And she's like, no, I know, I know, okay, okay.
And he's like, so I just think a good remedy to that would
be for you to drive your own Volkswagen. And it was so cute,
you guys face. She was like, not computing. She was just like
huh. And he hands her her keys, We put her keys, We
put her a little air freshener. She had like this little daisy air freshener
on her car and then he hands her. We put she has a keychain
that just has her house keys, right, and I added the car keys
to her little keychain. And so he hands her her keychain and she was
like wait, wait what And I was like, your basic bitchmobiles right outside
because right, yeah, I've told you. I'lbi refers to herself as a
basic bitch. And I knew that this white Volkswagen Jetta was the most basic
bitch car that has ever carved, Like this is like the white Volkswagen cabriolet.
Are you yes? This is what I knew this would be her dream
card. This is such the LBI vibe. I was like, oh,
and okay, anyway, so I walk outside behind her. We're like,
go see her car, and she takes one look at the car and she's
just like, oh my god, oh my god, this is for me.
It was really really cute, rewarded. Did you should have recorded?
We did I have it? I'll posted, I'll post the video. She
was so cute and then she was like, oh my god, and she
was like running around in circles and then she got in the car and she
was like, drove it around the block and was like, oh my god,
this is the best car I've ever driven. It drive so it drives
better than our both of our cars. I'm not kidding. I believe it.
It's like an eight cylinder, it's turbo. It drives faster, has
better pick up than either of our cars. That's great. She's so excited.
Oh my god, that's the best. Best best is when you can
supervise them. Yeah. I mean I remember when I got my first car.
I had to pay for it, but I remember I put it in
the driveway. I was so excited every morning when I woke up, Oh
my god, I got a car, Like, oh my god, I
get to go drive my own car. Yeah, it's my own car.
I could do whatever the fuck I want except for crash it. And then
you know, it was the best feeling ever. Yeah, yeah, oh
yeah. She's so excited. And then it's covered by insurance. So this
morning, like got it onto the insurance, put me, got the insurance
card, put it in the dashboard, put her parking pass back on her
rear view mirror, and then like left the and then I texted her,
I was like, your car is ready to drive, and she was so
excited. Oh my god, will best like two in the afternoon. That's
the best feeling. That's awesome. Well, I think we'll trade off and
on with the parking space. But there's plenty of parking in front of our
house. She's just Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You have to just make sure you're
on the right side of the street, right, But I mean it's great.
There's always parking right in front of our house. Oh. I love
that. I know. I think it will take the sting out of like.
But by the way, I'm already feeling the freedom because normally I'm like,
Okay, I'm going to the podcast, but like Elby is going to
be gone, so you don't have a car. You're not gonna have a
car, like for the whole afternoon, right right, because we're we're here
for like three and a half hours, plus a half hour to drive back
and forth. He's out of a car for four hours. So today it
was just like okay, f him. Yeah, like my own car.
I was driving in the Prius. Yeah, that's great. That's a great
feeling. Oh, I'm just congratulations, so fun a great very adult.
Yeah, I've never like I bought my child a car, Like it's crazy,
I know, like what a rite of passage. I just felt like
this is such like I was looking at my not even my child self,
but like my early twenties self. That was just like partying. And honestly
even my late twenties self. I was like, did I ever think that
I was going to be like married buying my child a car? Like that's
stable, right, No, and never to be able to buy your child
a safe and economical car. And like again, my first car was missing
a back window for a long time. Oh my god, the left side
triangle back window. My Mercury Capri was missing. Yeah why I don't remember,
but yeah, driving around with no window for until I could get up
enough money to get it fixed. I told you my Mazda was rusted through
straight through the floorboards. You could stick your foot through the floor. You
had to avoid wade. You have to put a mat over it so that
you didn't accidentally put your foot through to the floor. And when that car,
when I won the Buick Skyhawk on Hollywood Squares, I literally left the
I just left the Mazda on the street, like I just left it there
until they towed it. Away because I was like, what am I supposed
to do? I'm I supposed to do with that? I bought it for
a thousand dollars and had had it for a few years. Yeah, and
then what are you supposed to do with it? Yeah? Right? I
was like, somebody needs to come get this thing. I don't know what
what do you do it? You can't just throw it away? I mean
nowadays, I know there's like, you know, you can give cars for
junkers, you know, and donate it, but like, but back then,
there was no cars for junk dot No, there's no cars for kids.
There's none of that. No. No, Yeah, yeah, pretty
fun. That's congratulations, thank you. And that was let me do his
shout out right now. That was Adam Lerner. Yeah, he did the
footwork for me like I did. I was just looking so that I could
be like, let me see what's out there, you know, And then
I would text him. I'd be like, Adam, why are there so
many keyas? Like you know you think you look on cars dot com.
Oh, and then he told me don't ever, don't go to Carvana or
CarMax. They are a rip off place. They mark the car's way up
like it's better to go to a dealership because they have certain inventory and like,
you know, you just look for deals. But he found me this
deal because he works for this dealership, you know, and got them to
take like a certain amount off. Like the brokers have relationships, that's how
they get you deals. But anyway, Adam can get you a deal.
His numbers three one zero nine nine eight seven zero four eight. You can
go to Adams got a car dot com and you could probably contact him through
there if you want. And don't forget. We have our Zoom meeting,
our Zoom hanging out for Patreon this Sunday at six o'clock. And if you
didn't listen to our Tuesday show for some reason but you did, uhl listen
to another show after that, go back and listen to our Patreon and it's
it might clear some things up for you. Yeah, you know, that's
right. Yeah, and follow us on social media at FCOL Podcasts. There
you go, that's right. Kln's been killing it with Instagram and our Facebook
group and TikTok yeah and x if you do that too, oh, Twitter,
whatever it every day everything is FCOL podcast And please go follow the Facebook
page because We have like eight thousand people on our old podcast page, but
we didn't do anything with it, so we had no way to really like
nothing to update it with. Right now, we're putting all the clips you
can see live video clips from our show, every show. Yeah yeah,
check us out. Yeah all right, all right, thanks Kalen, thank
you, Thanks everyone. You're a parent now, don't nff it up,
you day letting go