Welcome to Softcore History. Hello, and welcome back to Softcore History. I'm
your host for this week, Jake Goldman. I'm joined as always by my
two co hosts, Dan Regester and Rob Fox. Lovely to be here today,
boys, Thanks for having me on your show. Guys, oh Man,
you know when I introduce him, he does that, it's always a
pleasure. Yeah. When I don't introduce him, it's you never introduced me.
So that's the inside baseball you'll get so far today. But before we
talk any more about our amazing history podcast, I do want to do one
thing of housekeeping real quick. Just one. We have a Patreon we do.
It's patreon dot com slash soft core History. Please, if you enjoy
this content, for five dollars a month, you get two additional episodes a
week. That's eight episodes a month. Jake, everything is evergreen. Everything's
evergreen hours. Oh, two years of content, two years of extra content
for five bucks a month. You got long drive coming up? I know,
I do. I'm about to go to Florida. It's the perfect time
to jump in. Got hours and hours of time to kill. Listen to
us just guys being dudes talking history, talking about dudes being guys. But
I think no one said great recent review, great banner, mediocre, history
perfect. That's yeah, that's that might be our tagline from here on out.
Are you going to? Are you gonna meet babies in Florida? Yeah,
gonna meet nieces. You're gonna feed any babies? You're gonna hold them.
I will hold them, suckle at a bottle. I don't know or
how close is? How close is your family? Are you allowed to hold
the baby? Are you gonna hold the baby while breastfeeds. It's not like
you cradle it. It's actually gonna suck on Jake's teat. There's multiple babies
I'm seeing, so seen a lot of babies. Well, get ready,
my new uncle, So gotta see them babies. Your nips aren't gonna be
fresh anymore. Just toss them a protein bar, muscle milk with a nipple
on it. If I breast said for me right now, Dan, would
just muscle milk come out? Depends have you been lifting? No? It
depends on you. Oh, like your your teet knows what I need.
It's very it's very like caring. I guess that's very providing. So it's
gotta be in that like hour anabottlic window. It's like if I suck on
dance tea more than an hour after I lift we it's it just shoots out
water. It's like hydrate, you idiot. Otherwise it's some electrolytes, pedia
light or muscle milk, one or the other. But uh, you know,
today I wanted to talk a little bit about something that no one's talking
about right now. The Roman Empire. Yeah wow, yeah, a little
wait on that mean my guy? Yeah, but not any part of the
Roman Empire in particular, that's good, or like, well look at the
Roman Empire. Go, it's just a general overview of the Roman emper We're
gonna start from your one, the history of Rome. No, we're not
doing that. Oh, we're talking about this is a little bit more of
a complex thing we've talked about before. That's crazy. We have two episodes
really about Italy this week when we kind of accidentally do that all the there's
a lot of three lines with that we never planned either because we don't talk
to each other. We don't want to. Outside of this was like Oasis.
We fucking hate it, surely for personally sabotage rob every chance I get
and speak poorly about him in the press. Is that why the cookies you
made were such dog shit? Those cookies were fucking great. Oh I thought
you sabotaged their taste to funk with me. Yeah, you didn't like them?
Real you didn't like those cookies? What was wrong with them? Just
kidding bits over? Oh? Yeah no, it was good, delicious?
Thank you? Yeah? Yeah, Jake came in them. They were made.
Well, that's what I would hope is gotcha? Gotcha? Good?
Was actually when they were cooling, I emerald agassied them with salt, salt
batim. Yeah, I hit them with some salt. I could taste the
salt or was that just the jizz? Yes? Yeah, that was the
protein. Yeah what you eat before? Before I mean the cookies. No
for the com Oh, pineapple class pineapple and a lot of pineapple and papaya.
Good for your tummy. I mean I regret giving him my toddler.
Yeah, that's on you. It feels like it's on you. They were
for your birthday, so they weren't. Are you sharing your birthday? Why
would you do that? I don't know, I don't know if you ca'ed
like too good for us? Being so selfless. We uh, we talked
about this in particular subject like offhand a lot, and I've had a couple
of people ask me like, where did the like the feudal monarchy come from?
Yeah, and I was like, fuck it, we're tackling that today.
So today we're gonnam borrow. That's fun. Oh by the way,
real quick speaking of the Roman Empire. Right of course, right before we
got on this, I saw a headline on my Instagram that was like,
uh, fuck, it's ridiculous. It was something along lines of like hater
LGBT group declares hater and wall like gay icon or something like that. But
yeah, why, I don't know. There was a lot of there's a
lot of dicks drawn on it, fair enough, Roman soldiers. I mean
I don't know that that. I mean, if that's the case, then
I have several notebooks from high school that are iconic. Get a bathroom.
Yeah, I'll tell you what. You might be honest with something. A
lot of a lot of medieval monk books too. Gosh, yeah, everywhere
cox snails like snail cocks, dix that have a shell, that Knight's ride.
We've always wanted to draw dicks it's It's definitely one of the They're fun
and easy to draw. They are easy to draw. It's a lot easier
to draw penis in it. It's like that one s everyone drew in middle
school that's been around for a while. No one knows the true origin of
that. What is the name of it? I forget the cool s,
but I hope like the next like horrifying genocidal fascist empire appropriates that s for
their flag, so it becomes essentially thiswaka. Yeah, the same way this
swastika. It was like a totally benign symbol peace. Yeah. Last time
I was in New Orleans, I went to a bar and the floor and
was all from like the early eighteen hundreds or yeah, laid eighteen hundreds whatever,
and it was full swastik, pre Nazi swastika. Yep. Yeah,
it's hard to Like. The harder thing for that would be, like,
you know, for the Swaska people be like, well, you know,
it's part of this like Indian culture thing, like with the coolest to be
like middle school Austry. Yeah, yeah, like there would be no like
what was this before? It's like, well, we don't know. It
was a show that you were dope. Yeah, people don't suck it up
and make it a square on accident. It's like you couldn't do it,
nerd. But yeah, today we're embarking on a high level, comprehensive exploration
of how the fall of the Western Roman Empire led to a more modern concepts
of monarchy and royalty through feudalism. So this time period, I have a
book on it that I really need to read. What I just never do?
Why about the time period? The time period between the fall right around
the fall of Western Rome, like a low before it and then threw it
up until the rise of Islam? To me is like one of the most
fascinating time periods in human history. I just stabbed Julius Caesar and Assassin's great
origins? Did you I did last night? YouTube? Brother? Was he
a real boner? Was he like all like a little peak cut cry about
it? He was? He was kind of feeling himself. It was a
heat check, and then I just went in with a fucking knife. Nothing
quite kills a heat check like a stab in the back. Forty people.
Yeah, you canna winn not today, bro, Sabby Stabby. I do
love how they kind of appropriate history and like throw you into it. Yeah,
it's in those games. It's just like, yeah, I'm gonna kill
Caesar. It's a good gateway drug. I want to get plugged into some
like historical video games that Tarantino Retcon's history, and like I would love to
play Glorious Bastards. I don't think i'd ever suppling that game. Just light
up Hitler in the movie theater before you burn it. Glorious that's almost just
Wolfenstein. Really, it is kind of Wolfings. What was the Michael Bay
movie where it was like Nazi zombies or Nazi vampires. I don't think that
was a Bay move. It wasn't. Scarscard was in it, I think,
but yeah, I know what you're talking about. It was and like
Bad Boys Overlord, it was Overlord because Operation Overlord is D Day. Yeah.
Have you ever seen Overlord? I have not watched it. Transformers,
yes, Transformer nazisticons in the Nazis Pearl Harbor. I look, I like
the movie Pearl Harbor. I just like bet Aflick. I like Michael Bay.
He's a great director. I don't I don't care. He gets a
lot of unnecessary shit. I also like, did you ever hear his response
when people called his movies like dumb and and whatever, I'm rich and hot.
Well kind of basically he goes, I make he literally this is his
quote, was I make movies for thirteen year old boys. Oh what a
crime. I've loved people that know they're fucking lane. Yeah, and you're
unapologetic. Yes, yeah, I love that, And I love the comedian
that accidentally tried to roast Zack Snyder. Have you seen that clip? Yeah,
yeah, Well he's just like he's doing crowd work. He's doing crowd
work, and he's just like, oh, you're a director. Hah,
what have you made it? And he's like, well, do you know
any director's named Zach And he's like yeah, Zack Snyder. He's like,
well that's me. He was like, you have to be fucking kidding me.
The guy must be like, well, shit, my day's over.
I have a good one, Zack Snyder. Well here's how you win that
one. You go, uh oh, hey, well great to have you
here. Did you bring your daughter? Oh I don't know the context of
that. She's dead. Oh no, like tragically, extremely tragically. Yeah,
it was unaware he had a child. Well, he doesn't well,
yeah, that's true. If any comedians are doing crowd work and Zack Snyder
is in the crowd, peaks his fucking head into it again, ruins your
night because you can't get a good joke off. Yeah, why don't you
ruin his life? So I want to cover how feudalism's origin and the shadows
of the Roman Empire and its adaptation through turmoil and post Roman Empire in Europe
kind of influence, how feudalism gets started, and we're going to kind of
cross into like the height of influence under Charlete Man and it's enduring legacy in
our money. You stop talking about what you're going to talk about and talk
about talk about what you're going to talk about. As I said that kid
in high school is like, you're not even ready for what I'm about to
do. No, dude, you're not even right. Like the things that
are actually going on they make me sick. You wouldn't sleep at night if
you knew the truth, you know what I mean? Like if you only
knew, if you knew what was run in this world, if you would
ship your pants and vomit out your eyeballs. I a year ago when Rory
was really sick, and I'd just like sleep with him at night to make
sure he was sitting up because his auction would get too low. It's fine,
he lived. I'm not Zack Snyder anyway. Look, there's plenty of
time Zach's a fan of the show to Zax well will for a review,
catching else everywhere. God damn. I think Zack Snyder is much like Michael
Bay Like, genuinely, I think he's criminally like people are too mean to
him. Just the guy who just said what he said well, I meant
about his work. Well, his work was like loved universally at first,
and then people turned on him. The Dawn of the Dead remake is one
of my favorite horror movies, one of the best remakes of all time of
anything. Yeah, and then Watchman is great. I don't care what anyone
says. I don't care what little nerd boys said on the internet. Watchman
is a dope movie, and three hundreds dope too. Those are like,
I don't care. Is that his fault? DC sucks ass. He wasn't
the only one that made a shitty DC movie. Every fucking person who made
a DC movie made a shitty d So then they hyped up the Snyder cut
and it did not live up to I'm sure it didn't. I didn't even
bother with it. I'm actually like an hour into the New The the the
Batman, the Pattinson one. It sucks. It's so far. I'm like,
all right, I'm waiting. They would just sit around me, like
what's the point of this. I'm like an hour in and I'm like,
this better turns. So that's most of my life. I'm sorry, Dan
so as I said. The story begins with the decline of the Western Roman
Empire. The empire was stretched thin by best territories and plagued by economic instability.
Just blame the legal immigrants. Well, it's not like, is it
immigration if you're forcing them to be you, if you're borging them like when
you're conquering. No, no, they weren't conquering. Actually, it's really
funny. One of the problems in the late Roman Empire is that so like
the Huns, and the Huns in particular was funny because you know how it's
kind of the opposite of this. But you know how when there's a tsunami,
all the water retreats back, yeah, and keeps going and so you're
like, there's a reaction before the primary, before the primary animals. Yeah,
so before the Huns came in. The Roman Empire was invaded immediately before
that by people being like looking over there showing like fuck, it's like coming.
It's like there's people freaking out running. It's like a World War Z
kind of situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah then yeah and then
the Huns k that's what a nightmare. Yeah, but they could no longer
maintain their grip on their far flung provinces. The third century in particular,
saw the Empire weakened by internal strife, economic depression, and a series of
invasions by Germanic tribes. This period, they're getting invaded a lot. It
was also interesting in late Rome, if I recall correctly, because they actually
kind of switched up their military in general, switched a lot where instead of
being basically the classic Roman army that you think of, became a lot more
cavalry focused, and they hire, and they were using a lot more like
auxilia and just basically foreign or like non Roman citizens the right word, but
like non Roman, non central Roman Empire kind of troops, not like a
lot of Germanic troops. But yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the
periods that really kind of sets it off is the Crisis of the third century.
That sets at the stage for a lot of the eventual downfall. And
you know, we could do a whole episode of the Crisis of the third
century, which is just tons of military conflict within the actual you know,
it's military anarchy. U, what's new. Yeah, it's really like the
first second no, the second century, the one hundreds, yeah, right,
that was largely that was sort of the Pox Romana. I think Pox
Romana started in the first century, and it was like half first century,
half second century. But that whole period they were basically like, dude,
this is sweet. We're like barely having civil wars. Yeah, it was
dope. Yeah, But the rest of the Roman I mean, most of
the biggest Romans you know about are because of civil wars. Fucking Caesar for
one, and Augustus and Mark Anthony all in the same set of like eight
civil wars in a row that they had. And then if you want to
go late Empire, fucking Constantine that was he became emperor thanks to it,
like civil war, like they were always fucking having they were dipping their toes
too much into other just like empires. Yeah, so that was really the
issue kind of like why are you fucking around in Egypt? Stop spreading so
thill they controlled Egypt. I mean, it's a miracle they were able to
control the entire perimeter of the Mediterranean Sea at one point. But if they
had really just built the wall kind of on the Persians and not kept trying
to conquer whatever that Persian Empire was called in that iteration of it, like
they spent and the Byzantines did this too later, which is why Islam was
able to roll over the Eastern Roman Empire and the Persians is because like they
just constantly fought and bankrupted each other and then there would be horrible consequences within
their own empires and then they'd regroup and then to have another fucking eighty years
a war. It would just run through. Yeah, insane over time that
the bases your currency, yeah, causes economic collapse. And there was also
the plague of Cyprian or Cyprian Cyprian Cyprian, contributing to a lot of disorder
they had just like peasant uprisings, It did so much shit going on.
Was the plague of Cyprian black death. I don't know actually, because they
do think the plague they are now like pretty positive the plague of Justinian,
which was a couple hundre years later, was actually the first instance of black
death. Yeah. Uh, but Rob, what if I told you it
was before, I would have told you that black death was before. They
think the Cyprian thing could have been either smallpox, measles or a bowl of
virus. Al yeah, they think it could have been a bola be here,
Like I think that would have wiped really hard to transfer a bola.
Yeah, it's anally mm hmm. There was ever an empire? Yeah for
real? Yeah, you're right, flesh eating but virus. Yeah. Well,
anyway, as Rome's power weighed through all this, its ability to protect
its citizens. Actually, I heard a good joke the other day. Oh
do it. It's like Greeks invented threesomes, Romans involved women. It's probably
true. Yeah, yeah, so, yeah, they couldn't really protect their
citizens, especially in the further reaches of the empire. In response, wealthy
landowners began to fortify their estates and offer protection to the surrounding community in exchange
for labor or share of the produce that was made on the estate. This
is in effect kind of borrowed from the Roman practice of patronage, which they
invented, where wealthy landowners would protect lesser citizens in return for services that's even
within the city and things like that. That's basically this is the precursor to
the feudal system. So this informal system laid the groundwork for feudal relationships.
And it was just basically people being like, can someone help me not get
raped? And they're like, we got walls, Yeah, we got walls
and stuff. We and we've kind of talked about this too, like you
know, people for their service and things like that, and generals and shit,
they'd get a fucking or they have to fortify shit out there. So
someone's put in position of power in a tower or a castle or something out
on the outskirts. They've got some walled off land, right, shit's falling
apart. They're like, I'm kind of just like here now, so and
like, look like these little estates that the rich people had or whatever,
Like they're obviously not going to stop like a Hunnic army or a Gothic army,
not the entire thing. Yeah, what they will do is be too
much trouble for raid parties breaking off and bandits and anything like that, and
that just get to thrive in the chaos. Yeah, exactly, the offshoots
of the bigger fights. Yeah, like, if the whole army comes in
the years doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, if they really want to
fuck you up, they will. But for the just kind of marauding assholes,
you can fend them off a lot better, which I mean these armies
lived off the land. Yeah, so well, speaking of the fall again,
the final blow to the Western Roman Empire came in the fifth century,
when a series of invasions and culminating in the Sack of Rome by the Visigoths
and four ten and the Vandals in four fifty five pretty much shattered the illusion
of Roman invincibility. The deposition of Romulus Augustulus and for seventy six by the
Germanic chieftain odacer Is Otiser or whatever. Yeah, it's traditionally marked as the
end of the Western Roman Empire. It is funny that the last Western Roman
empire was named Romulus Romulus Augustus Romulus founder of Rome, Augustus, the first
emperor. Yeah pretty uh really book ended it well, yeah, poetic.
Yeah, So the Titanic of Emperor name the power vacuum left in Europe left
all of the structure of Europe at that time fragmented, with numerous tribal kingdoms
vying for dominance at that time. All in all, the decline of the
Roman Empire didn't happen overnight, though there was a gradual process exacerbated by the
economic term one. Well, I was told it wasn't built overnight. It
wasn't torn down overnight, either, but it definitely got a lot of gasoline
port on it in the last few hundred years of it. That's one of
my like low key favorite thirty rock lines. Jack is like in Congress and
he's like, gentlemen, Rome wasn't built in a day, and someone's just
like, well one theory. I can see Matt Gates saying that, yeah,
yeah, yeah. So all of this like change in power vacuum led
to a shift in the way the land was managed and protected. This is
where feudalism just comes perfectly in. It's like perfect, you go, It's
already happening in a way, but as central authority disintegrated, lords and landowners
turned into micro kings and became de factor of rulers of their micro kingdoms,
offering protection to the peasantry. At its core, feudalism wasn't much different from
what they were already operating on before though, so it's kind of perfect.
They were still second class citizens before that. Yeah, no, totally,
they were plubs. Yeah, it was just like it got a lot more
intimate, I would say, like it got way more localized. You're like,
you're mine now, slave local It's kind of like you're not a slave,
but like if you stop working, we'll fucking kill you. Yeah,
Like, well that's the thing. So it's it is just really funny.
So they got they ran in behind the w and you know, the lord
or the the patron or whatever had armed people to man the walls. And
then once things calmed down and they were like, okay, few, we're
leaving, and then those armed guys that were looking out turn around and look
back in and we're like, no, stay in. Yeah, man,
isn't a two way wall. It's armed in, armed out. Yeah,
you're not only trapped, you're you were once saved. Now you're trapped here
right. Well, sometimes in order to elevate you have to look within.
Yes, self reflection is important, and I always like to look in when
I have a bunch of people helping me, and I'm like, hmm,
let me look inside and see how I can perpetuate this so I don't have
to do anything. That's the best way to go about it. Yes,
absolutely, that's right. So one of the most significant aspects of feudalism,
that kind of the more intimate part as I was seeing, was the concept
of fealty. So the development of oaths of loyalty and service from a vassal
to his lord really starting to pick up steam here. Uh. The oath
was often sealed in a ceremonial act of homage, where the vassal would kneel
before the lord and place his hands between those of the lord as a sign
of submission and fidelity to his lord. It's like, it's like a promise
ring you give to your servant, your servant gives to you. I don't
really like, I promise I'll always work your lands. Bro, just sobbing
for the lord. You are like at a certain point, this is I
guess, like it's essentially an the entured servant. Dude, it's not quite
slave they would be disgusted by the current job landscape, job hopping disgusting.
No, you would be Jake would be dead immediately, Oh for sure.
What is it? Uh? What's the word? Not apogram? No,
we're not going there. We're not going to pograms quite yet. We won't
get into that in this episode at all. Maybe one day. Uh.
What is the word for when people run away? Not traitor, but they're
abandoning their running away deserter. Yeah, everyon would be killed. This is
a deserter. Yeah, but yeah, the redmaker and you deserted. Who's
going to slice the loafs? The Baker's left us. The ceremony of fealty
underscored the personal bond at the heart of the feudal relationship, transcending more than
mere economic transactions. This was pledging your life to the guy whose house you
lived at. So another important period that kind of bolstered feudalism was the Migration
period, which was a time of significant upheopal in Europe that occurred pretty much
right after the fall and during the fall really, so from about four hundred
and eighty to eight hundred eighty. This is when feudalism just is like,
yeah, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. So during this era, various
Germanic tribes, including the Goths, Vandals, and Franks, moved across the
continent, often clashing with Roman forces and other forces that were vying for power
after the fall, and they would just start settling into Roman territories too.
It had to suck if you had work for a low level guy. Yeah,
like, I don't respect you, bottom tier lord. Yeah, just
fuck. I got Count Jim, Like, I'm gonna be essentially an indentured
servant, but I gotta work for somebody that has merit. You gotta feel
like you're you're yeah, you're part of a winner. Yeah, gotta imagine
if it's like Game of Thrones, right, it's like you're not like the
blacksmith at winter Fell. You're like, you're like, fucking what, what's
the one the Dreadfort. You're not even the main dude. Like if like
Walder Fray is your Lord Bridge, I guess yeah, oh this guy fucks
everything and it's all young. But yeah. As these different tribes settled,
they established their own kingdoms and the ruins of the empire, and they also
liked the way that ship feudalism worked. They're like, oh, so if
we took great hey, instead of uh, killing all of you, we're
just gonna settle up here and you keep working and you swear to us now,
and that system. The work peasants were like, hey, you got
it. Don't rape and kill us? Yeah, well less do it less
do less? Maybe less of us that would be cool. Well, we're
useful to you now, so you might not. Yeah, maybe no promises.
I mean, like we would really it would be chill if you didn't,
because that's kind of how it went with the last guy. Because I
promised you to work for you, and it would cool if you promised me
to not murder me and rape my family. I don't know if you're aware
of how this agreement works, but before, before we didn't get raped and
murdered because we were working for this guy and you killed him. Good job.
But if we could keep that agreement, that would be really swell.
But yeah, the leaders of these tribes became new aristocracy, new kings,
new lords, whatever you want to call them, and they granted land to
their warriors and return for military service. So they kind of just continued to
practice and that evolved into the formal system of vassalage and fiefdoms in the feudal
era, so you started getting more people. Once they set up micro kingdoms,
they would expand set up more territories, and this is how you start
getting into like the hierarchy of monarchy. Basically start to build nations. Yeah,
you're you're building nations slightly. Also in the power vacuum, an interesting
thing, the church was like we're still here. Yeah, we're still here
for about anywhere. The church itself became basically a feudal lord as an institution,
No, not a the feudal lord. The pope was goaded yeah,
I mean definitely after the fall of the Western Roman I mean kind of during
like I don't really know the specifics of like how the trained of operating,
like as it was falling. The pope at the time what came out from
Rome and met Attila the hunt and was like God wants you to leave.
And apparently allegedly, uh, Saint Peter appeared over the Pope's shoulder and that
scared at till of the hunt and he left. That makes sense, that's
canon, I think so, because he's a saint because of it. Let
me look it up. Well, Peter's a rock. He's like Geo dude.
Yeah, he has an alegs the head in arms and made out of
rocks. I'd I'd be terrified. Leo the Great is the Pope. I
will I will look this up. But yeah, the spread of Christianity through
basically I'm sorry I jumped ahead a little. The system of feudalism was bolstered
by the spread of Christianity, which played a crucial role in unifying the different
tribes and kingdoms of Europe under a common faith. That's why the Church was
able to do it so well, because Christianity and the spread of it was
really just full steam ahead at this point, especially when things are falling apart.
Yeah, they're like, oh, guess what come to Daddy? Come
to God? You got you? I'm a Catholic. Yeah, So they
held vast tracts of land across Europe. Monasteries and bishops wielded a lot of
power, especially locally, often acting as intermediaries between the peasantry and the nobility.
So they were getting in between and as we know from so many episodes,
if you're in an intermediary for anybody, you get to control a lot
more than you probably should, but maybe it is what you deserve because you're
the one doing the talking. Who knows. But yeah, between the fall
of the Western Roman Empire and the rise of Charlemagne, Europe owner went significant
transformations. So there's the Meravingian Maravingian dynasty which ruled over the Franks. They
saw the fragmentation of power as territories were divided among heirs, so they started
really doing like once they started spreading, they were like, hey, I
got these kids, Yeah, I'm going to set them up in all these
different power states kind of get them established. So that really entrenched the feudal
system as something that could be what's the word, like nepotistic, but based
on hereditary lineage basically. So like that started. That's where you start seeing
like the development of royalty through being passed out through a line but more so
than even like the Roman emperors. Oh a lot of them were sons,
but a lot of them weren't or they were like quote adopted sons. But
like with where you get straight up like sun or bust, it's kind of
European monarchy. Yeah, that's where you start to lead in Europe. It
it moves from we got to have some sort of merit with these people were
giving things to to that's my kid, Yeah, yeah, it goes to
my kid. Yeah, fuck you. So it's against this backdrop that Charlemagne
emerged, uniting most of Western Europe under his rule. Charlemaine's reign, which
is from seven sixty eight to eight fourteen, marked the like peak of feudalism,
being the hyper like it allegedly if he actually existed, If he actually
existed, we don't know for sure. He could be ave been part of
that Roman Catholic calendar. They made up, made up a bunch of stuff.
I feel like they could have made up cooler people, like two hundred
and ninety seven years or whatever. M hm. Yeah. He he implemented
a more structured system of governance. So he divided his empire into counties,
and march is overseen by So he had counties overseen by counts. And I
guess a term called margraves is something that he had as well, to you
know, count, margrave, lord whatever. Those were all appointed by him.
This system ensued loyalty to him while allowing for efficient local governance. Charlemagne's
efforts to promote education, culture, and Christian unity. Further solidified the feudal
system, embedding it within the social and political fabric of Europe. So he
just bought all in. He was full sale. He's like, I got
to set up at like he kind of looked back at what happened with the
Roman Empire where it was like, you know, all these people were putting
them out far away, right, it's falling apart. They're going to buy
for power, Like I gotta just like hook these guys up, really pamper
them, let them know that they're my boys, let them have and let
them do their own thing. Let them do their own thing, because really
all I need them for is a little bit of tax money. And if
I ever need an army exactly, and that's a really important part to the
idea of an army. And the way that changes kind of is the downfall
of feudalism in a weird way, too professional army standing armies. Yeah.
So his reign saw not only the expansion of his empire, but also significant
cultural and administrative reforms that would strengthen the feudal system at the time. He
included reforms such as the standardization of weights and measures, which was really important
for economics like he kind of standardized economic systems of trade through that. I
mean that's huge, like the fact that it wasn't what you go over to
another town and you're like, oh, it's great, I'll go I'll got
full clink claxes yeawn, Like oh you might. It's probably two quick collect
there and we don't call them, you know, like it's just it's bananas.
No one's knowing what they're saying to each other. They have to do
all these conversions. So standardizing that shit really allowed the economy to boom more
and the empire to grow. Uh. He also brought back the revival of
Latin learning, so he was trying to kind of hark back to that like
Roman Empire stuff, right. He also introduced the Carolinian minuscule script, which
improved literacy and record keeping. These reforms facilitated better management of the states and
the codification of feudal obligations, making the system more like entrenched and systematic.
Again, so the more literate people were, the more they realized what they
were. Well, you know what this really tells me, And it's so
I think it's so funny that they're always shit on. They're like in ho
AA or something like it. They're so easy to shit on that you forget
that there's like a lot of positives to it. But essentially what made this
empire or what, yeah, I guess empire really secure and competent, and
it made people where how people's lives got better and so on and so forth,
bureaucracy, It worked. Bureaucracy. You want know why the Roman Empire
was able to withstand everything at all, its civil wars and all these invasions
and even thrive two reasons, One the economy and two which kind of plays
into one and is also its own thing, the bureaucracy. It's interesting,
well, run, it's interesting you say that just because like it's not even
that like breucracy bad whatever, Like, oh, it's it comes down to
the fact that people just want to know what to do. It's like that's
a playbook. Bureaucracy is a playbook more or less on how to govern right.
And it's like, oh, like, obviously you can get bloated and
you can get into like triplicate forms and shit like that. Too much of
anything is bad, but giving just random dudes that may otherwise not know what
to do at any given moment, like a kind of a playbook and a
code. Yeah, allows them to operate more efficiently because they don't have to
think as hard. Yeah. So I'm not saying plebes were stupid, but
it's some people in power were flound They just got a call script, right,
Yeah, they're working out a center. I'm just saying, man,
hello, sir, how is your day. Oh I'm very happy or sad
to hear that. Just go buy the playbook. Don't go off script.
Don't go off script because at the end of the day, like the script
worked in boiler room, it wasn't the script's fault. It was that they
were doing legal shit with it. But the script was not at fault and
boiler you ever see boiler room? No, but I've worked in the call
center, so yeah, I mean so you know the deal reco anyway,
feudalism reached its peak. Ever, I mean, cold calling is the worst.
Yes, it's terrible. It's easily the horrible. I wouldn't wish that
job on anyone. Yeah, all of us here have done it. That's
why we're so great at talking. I'm not that great at talking, Honestly,
that wasn't that good at cal Colin kind of it's cold calling sex.
Warm calling is fine, you get an inbound lead. Nice, at least
this guy wants to talk to me. Kind of set up that pipeline.
Yeah, dude, go into the funnel. Anyway. Feudalism reached its peak
in the eleventh and twelfth centuries, but began to show signs of strain as
populations grew. Trade started to revive and cities expanded. And trade revitalization is
an interesting point. It's other trade went away or anything like that. It's
just when you're in a four hundred year period of chaos. Yeah, Like
trade gets a little hard. People are stealing, there's marauding bandits. Well,
when the economy becomes more dynamic, the primary maybe like only economic pillar
becomes less important. The other thing that sits to me with feudalism is it
is really a non urban system. Oh yeah, so it works for fields.
Yeah, and cities were like, i mean, Rome at its peak
had over a million people in it and after its quote fall it had like
fifty thousand people living there. I mean it was a fucking ghost town.
Yeah, everyone was spread pretty thin. So feudalism makes sense. But once
power starts reconcentrating. I mean Rome was a pretty urban empire. I mean
it had obviously, like you know, Constantinople was huge Rome other cities.
But uh yeah, once the city, once people start wanting to live in
cities again, once cities start thriving again, and then the economy becomes more
diversified. Yeah, yeah, totally. Actually, one thing I just remember,
I forgot the dumb I was reading some stuff about like just day to
day lives of people that were living a surfs or fief. So they had
better lives than us because they only worked four hours a day or something.
We've talked about it, I know, weekends. I still see that fucking
meme every once in a while and it drives me insane. It's like,
so, when you're not working for your lord, you have special projects,
which are dig this hole here. You're oh, you're not farming. They
got more vacation days, Like, no, they didn't. Their vacation day
was their day off from the field work. They did to dig trenches and
do special projects like okay, all right, here's a great way to put
that. I'm sorry. They were given purpose. Imagine you know how you
like you like you know how like a random person spends their weekend, they'll
do like the Spartan Race or whatever. Yeah, imagine that that's how you
spend your free time. But you don't have a choice that you were told
you're doing this. The Spartan race is necessary for you to survive, you
know, it's like covered in mud and exhausted. I think the perfect thing
is, like you remember, you know sometimes we do things outside of work
for work where it's like, oh, we got to film an exec board
or something like that, or we got to like go to this party and
show face at it, or something we have to record softcore history. Right,
it would be like if every single day they're like, all right,
now you got to go record for eight hours. Yeah, like, oh
thanks. I guess that's why people hated that. But I was reading about
like the day to day, and I love how petty people always have been.
Oh yeah, so, like typically what the servants or serfs or whatever
you want to call them, they'd pay their like tribute and grain. A
lot of them are like whatever crop they could like dry and give off that,
but typically was grain. One guy wasn't really thrilled about like the whole
situation with what was going on or like the way they were being treated.
So he paid his tribute that month in live chickens, which was a fuck
ton of live chickens. Like, it was a lot of live chickens.
Yeah, I think it was at least one hundred. Like this cart full
of chickens. And he rolls up to the front of wherever this guy lives.
There's these beautiful, like immaculate gardens. Right, he just throws the
thing, throws the thing down and lets the chickens goes like you're paid,
and they just tear apart his garden. Fuck. Yeah I didn't. I
can't imagine that ended well for him. He probably died. But it's kind
of like when you show up to the tow truck place and you pay in
pennies. Yeah, it's like three hundred dollars in pennies. Here you go
and they try to say you can't pay that way. Then they smash out
your windshield and they're like, all right, here you go get it out
with slash tires, bro can like this. Sorry. Yeah, pettiness is
a two way street, because I'm sure a lord probably just killed that guy
out of pettiness too. But yeah, the growth of trade and commerce in
the late medieval period led to the rise of a wealthy merchant class whose power
was not based on land but on capital. So that's obviously a big challenge
to the feudal system. This shift diminished the economic basis of feudalism, as
money became a more important source of power than land. And that's pretty significant
for where we are now. I would say, like, land is still
obviously very important, and it was very important. It still is, but
you didn't have to have it. I mean, look at it this way,
right, Like you and me both own houses, which means we have
a certain amount of like asset you can borrow against two. Yeah, that
you can borrow against it. But that just because you have land don't mean
you're liquid. No, does not. And I think for the first time,
yeah, but just because you don't have land doesn't mean you are liquid.
That's a good point, touche. But yeah, no, like for
the first time in hundreds of years, it was like, oh, you
don't need land to be set, and that's a huge paradigm shift for the
way people operate. Additionally, our old friend the Black Death led to labor
shortages. Yeah, yeah, it definitely does it, especially when people are
working in close quarters. Yeah, oh guess what your little micro kingdom with
your little castle walls, everyone's fucking dead. Oh dude, that means you
can ask for more those wages of yeah, ay man were paying good over
the market baby. Yeah. Unfortunately didn't work that way, just because people
started fleeing more and more to cities for easier lives. Again, back to
the peasant thing. If living the peasant life was so fucking sick, cities
wouldn't have become a thing. Cities wouldn't have exploded. No one would have
been like, oh, you know what, gonna leave the farm for this
shit hole? Yeah, well I want to work more hour. They're like,
you know, I'd like digging ditches. I'm sure there were people like
that, but yeah, honorable work. Cities would not have exploded if that
was good, like the best work out there, right, get a nice
tan, get jacked. But it's being the dance point. Surviving peasants started
realizing their value and did start demanding higher wages. So that put a strain
on some of the minority. Uh what do you want to call it?
Like the the manor system if you will, Or they left to see better
opportunities in towns. Right, So this led to the erosion of the surf
lord relationship that was pretty sent that was integral to the feudal economy. The
other thing that really kind of they could have had it going for a lot
longer, but monarchs started wanting to centralize authority. Yeah. Yeah, they
were kind of tired of well, I mean, you know, and there
was a certain like there's a certain amount of like they got challenges from these
people. Yeah, you know what I mean, Like it wasn't like they
everyone was just like, Okay, you're up there, and I'm third,
Like, these are all arrogant motherfuckers running their own fifdoms. Yeah, they're
all They all like power. They're not sad. Even the Kings aren't satisfied
whether they were. If they were, they wouldn't fight wars to get more
land and shit. Yeah, I mean those coffers run dry eventually. Yeah,
extended. So I mean, yeah, you're constantly the centralization of authority
shuts down challengers to the throne exactly. So that consolidation of power in the
hands of the monarchs really weakened the feudal system too, because you're eliminating other
outside. You're bringing everything under one umbrella again, which allows for empires to
kind of fill in more to Another big thing, of course, is the
Renaissance. Right, So that had an emphasis on humanism and individualism, which
further kind of fucked things up because you know, they're starting to change the
way laws are thought about in general, and what people are not just workers,
they're like individuals with thoughts and feelings and things like that, which a
lot of people would argue was where it all went wrong. Yeah, there's
one man to blame, and it's Da Vinci. Yeah, him, or
maybe Voltaire. Is he honestly one of the more impressive men to ever walk
the planet? Da Vinci? Yeah? Does he not get enough of like
flowers? I think it's plenty of flowers. I don't think so. Actually,
don't think he gets enough because he never he was not like a conqueror.
And also, oh I see what he created so many things, but
they were like and so imagine if like, imagine if like Thomas Edison invented
all the stuff he invented but no one ever used it. That's Da Vinci,
you know what I mean? I know, but no one ever used
it. He was too far ahead of his time. Yeah. Yeah,
it's like Da Vinci's like rocking up with like a fucking Zeppelin and people are
like, the fuck is that the dumbest shit because she's trying to get to
the fucking moon, Like the moon, You're so stupid, What do you
want up there? It's just cheese? Yeah, shut up? But uh
yeah, So another big thing, I'm sure you guys agree with this,
The Protestant Reformation kind of fucked shut up too, as it did with everything.
I al don't have to tell me twice, which I'm sure you can
guess, challenge to the Catholic Church's authority, which creates problems, and by
extension, since the Catholic Church is such a large feudal power, challenges the
idea of a feudal system in conjunction with yeah, the Renaissance that's going on
on. So by the seventeenth century, the developed the development of all these
things is really coming to a peak. And then you're also seeing a large
scale focus on developing standing armies. Yeah, and that makes the military service
provided by serfs way less essential. You're having trained, standing armies that are
existing for the sole purpose of conquering and fighting so these plebes that just fucking
rake your yard not as useful, especially when warfare gets more specialized with firearms
and stuff like that. Well, I don't know if it made it more
specialized, but it's the type of thing where like it's it's hard to standardize
firearms if you're just like calling a levee, right, you know what I
mean? Ye, like you need if you like you need to, Like,
yeah, it needed to be. I think firearms really necessitated a restandardization
of militaries because obviously there was standardization to like the Roman Army U for a
long time and stuff like that. But yeah, it feels like that once
not rifles, muskets, and cannons came about, they were like, all
right, we need to we need a trained, cohesive force. We can't
just call up like farmers are useful in some context, like minute men right
in the American Revolution, but like you can't actually make a force out of
those people. It's it's a lot harder to cobble together a bunch of random
pieces. Like it's like, yeah, they're very good at like taking a
dive, such as the Boston massacre. Yeah exactly. Yeah, it's like
you're giving like one hundred random legos or one hundred legos specifically to make a
tank, Like, what's you know you're gonna make like something that looks kind
of like a tank, or you can make something that's specifically supposed to be
a tank, right, Like, if you're cobbling together a bunch of farmers,
you can make what looks like an army, but it's not gonna operate
the way you want it to. It's gonna have a lot of fucking problems.
Yeah, so the development of this, like, can I go go
back to Dan's point real quick that Chrispus Addicts was a crisis actor. He
was. I mean, there's a reason John Adams got the British off.
Yeah. I never thought about it like that. That's my favorite thing.
It was a justified police shooting. You can call me a boot liquor.
I don't care. Boot liquor loyalist. Yeah. Do you know how many
people at the height of the American Revolution supported the American Revolution in the colony?
Probably not that many. He's like, that's more than I would have
thought. Honestly, that's more than I would have been. They didn't even
break fifty. Yeah, of course they didn't. So the approval rating of
the American Revolution. That's my approval ratings are bullshit. It doesn't matter what
the rate. And it was everyone in Massachusetts. Yeah, it pulled really
well. That Yeah, they were like, man, fuck them, but
no, it's that's what Polls never matter. Like, also, who's pulling
it? Yeah? Sah, what do you think? Get the fuck out
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sorry, real quick, before we keep going, We do have some
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Check it out. But yeah, so these standing armies, obviously they
give way to the necessity for a nation state and the formation of state led
governments or states led by a centralized monarchical coal figure. And this this from
some dickheads who couldn't stop fighting each other in Rome. Yeah, leads to
the fall and power vacuum that leads to these people living in these little castles,
which leads to higher up people trying to consolidate them, which leads to
the current people we still have today that are in existing monarchs like monarchies.
Like, there's not a lot of them, it's it's it's more than you
think. It's more than you think. A lot of them are completely figureheads,
oh totally. But like there're still a king of Spain. Yeah,
they're still a King of the Netherlands. There's the Netherlands Royalty. No,
not the Netherlands Denmark, Yeah, Denmark. Netherlands has been a republic for
a while. Yeah, I think all the skin and Navian countries have gotten
rid of their Most countries are just oligarchies, bro, Yeah, man,
I mean no, that's true, though I do believe that, like the
United States is an oligarchy. In my opinion, every the world is.
Yeah, I mean yeah, Now it goes somewhere like what do you find
it's going to happen, Like, the last place it's gonna the last place
power will be is the fucking masses. Dude. Sweden has a king,
dude, King Karl Gustav. Was it Finland that doesn't have Maybe yeah because
of the Russia. O, because Finland had that hot chick the Prime Minister
did a PM. Yeah, I mean yeah, but was that Finland or
Norway? Dude? Victoria Crown Princess of Sweden. Let me look her up
real quick. Rob's gonna see if she's hot. He's gonna just kind of
scroll through our Instagram real quick. But yeah, he's gonna get lost in
the sauce the seventeenth centuries where you start to see good enough, good enough
to marry. Certainly the fall of like traditional feudalist monarchy and to just classical
like what we think of as monarchy now over a larger swath of like a
country. Yeah, we kind of when we picture monarcha we think like King
George. Yeah, we think of a king of an entire country, not
George is in that era, there's four straight Georges. I think something like
that. Ye, yeah, well ours was George the third against the American
re We covered our basis. That was like, fuck George could have been
on any George, could have been any vote George, vote George. Fuck
George all that. I think it was for George's and a William. I
think that sound right. It sounds like a rom Com for George's and a
William. Yeah. But despite its decline, feudalism left quite the mark on
modern society. It still does. One of the most visible legacies is in
the legal system, especially of land ownership, particularly in England or feudal law
influenced common law. The concept of a fee for land held in exchange for
service can still be seen in some legal systems today, like holdovers and stuff
like that too. When did they just give the death penalty to any crime?
What? When did they give like the feudal system. They would just
kill you for nothing. That predates the feudal system. Okay, yeah,
but but yeah you're talking like he's he stole a chicken ing them. Yeah,
and then the main dude of the house or the man man, yeah
whatever. Fuck but I mean that's like the Old West too, right,
You steal a horse, they fucking hang you. Can you imagine that you
steal a car and he just like some earily that comes from England though by
a shower was like highwayman. And yeah, a lot of criminals in England.
I think they passed some law in like the seventeen fifties just to kind
of curb it. Were not only did they kill you for everything, but
they also like made sure you didn't get into heaven. They wouldn't bury you,
they would hang you in the public. God, there's a really great
anecdote about uh draconian law, because like people was so draconian, Like the
guy Draco I believe it was his name. It's actually dracon Dracondra, Draconi,
Draken, whoever that's named after. People actually loved that guy, Like
was it like how everyone thing like, you know, you call something machiavellian,
but it's actually he was like being facetious the whole time. He was
kind of playing both sides of that. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah,
like he his whole thing was like, well, like I He's like,
honestly, death for death makes sense to me, but I can't think of
anything worse than death to sentence people for it, because like stealing, I
think is worse than killing someone. Right, That was the whole reason they
had that law pass in seventeen fifty one. I think in England they there
was so much crime because it wasn't a deterrent to just kill them. Yeah,
but they're like, you know what, we're gonna like tax your family.
Yeah, we're gonna make sure you don't get into the afterlife. You
gotta do a lot. It's just a De Niro and the untouchables. I
want him debt, I want his family debt. I wanted to, but
yeah. The practice of swearing an oath of allegiance pretty much comes from feudalism
for the most part. Like in a lot of our legal system stuff.
Still, for instance, we swear in senators, you know, a House
of Commons, they get sworn in. Yeah, it's still a holdover from
that time period, you know in Japan, the influence of the Samurai code
and completely different, Like feudalism wasn't just a European thing either, right,
called feudal Japan for a reason, right, exactly, Like it was a
system showgun. I mean, feudalism to me is like a pyramid, right,
It's literally like it is like a logical hot like social pyramid. And
you know, what's the easiest way to build a building? Do it like
a pyramid? What's the easiest way to build a society? I guess just
do it like a fucking pyramid. Well, I mean it's like one of
those things. Is like power structures find find their way, Like it's always
path of least resistance, right, it's like water. Yeah, it's power
structures exist because that's the way they're going to like shouts to my Portuguese brether
in the Madue it to Japan first, Yes, out to them. They
must have loved that changed the culture. I think that's why you like Asian
chicks so much. It could be it's just you have some ancestor far rolled
up to Japan and was like, dear God, is a god in the
spot? Yeah, I've died and gone to heav I have never had an
erection like this in my life. Months long guys leaking blood just from his
dick. That makes sense. That sounds good, though, I recommend watching.
We'll have to have to watch that. But yeah. Similarly, the
European tradition of noble titles and heraldy. Heraldry, though largely ceremonial, still
continues to fascinate and influence social hierarchies today. So we still have holdovers from
that shit too. I mean, like things don't just go away forever like
and disappear. We have a lot of holdovers from fuel. I mean shit.
The concept of landlord and tenant is a feudal holdover. Landlord land lord.
That's where it comes from. They are the lord of that land.
That's funny. It's a funny title. Yeah, and people still pay rent
like dickheads. I'm sure someone's trying to pay with it. Can still to
this day. Well, landlords are evil, No, I don't think so.
I don't either it's like if you like, I think, what are
they supposed to do? Man? I think they're like predatory ways to be
a landlord. But it is funny because it's like, all right, okay,
okay, all right, you don't want especially when funny when they go
after small landlords, because every great landlord I've had was just some guiding a
place where it's never a fucking organization like Gray Star, no Ship. It's
like, so, all right, you don't want a small landlord. You're
mad at that guy because he owns the property that you live in. So
what do you want to replace it with? Because there's only two options if
it's not a small landlord, it's a fucking corporation or the state. You
want to live in fucking government housing, or you want to live in a
corporate in a corporate apartment, because I've done that too. They don't give
a fuck about you. They're like move then, yeah, they're like moved.
Yeah. It's like we'll just rat they make it and shittier. We
won't find a way to write off your empty apartment. Yeah, no,
for real, like we were just talking about today, they'll find a way
to write off you. Yeah, we're looking at like apart. All the
apartments are built so close to the interstate, and you notice this, like
when you're just going up and down I thirty five, they're like so fucking
close to the edge. Yeah. Right. I was thinking, like,
obviously that's for marketing when you're driving into a town, like so people see
it. It's like, oh there's that. Yeah, you see it when
they're going into a city center. But do you think some of that's for
like iminent domain where they're like, we can take a huge ride off if
the government expands this road, wouldn't hurt Yeah, like because think about how
much that's the backup plan. Yeah, it's like the oh and if the
government wants to stretch this high and by the way they I feel like if
you are again, like a giant, a giant corporation, like the major
landlord like Grace Arn and stuff, are unlike say our company who's getting eminent
domain, who is a small business for a big ass corporation like that.
It's the city who is at a disadvantage because they can throw serious lawyer money
into it and the city has more, uh, instead of to settle on
a price more and pay more yeah against a smaller landowner, like the people
we work for the city has more legal muscle and more legal funding. And
every complex in the city is owned by the same company. Absolutely, like
there's no you can't escape them. I mean, fun you look at that.
But anyway, yeah, fuck that old guy that owns the fucking house,
the one dude, the guy owns three houses and right, yeah,
a proper three fucking houses. But yeah, he doesn't rent him out,
so he's a good guy. He doesn't let other people live in his houses,
so he's a good guy. Exactly. Yeah, you fucking moron,
stop it, all right, but that's it for feudals. Man thinks a
lot romans for sucking it up for everybody, but no, would have happened
regardless, and it's just how it goes. Yeah, but I think it
is interesting how like the Fall, like it's like one of those it's not
even a small domino, but like it's like you push that little domina fall
Western Roman Empire, like Kate Middleton's We're worried where she is? Like the
Kate Middleton's butt lift raised question right exactly, Like it's that's how we get
there, That's how we get to the version of monarchy we're familiar with today.
It's just people are like, Okay, I guess I own this land
and everyone in it now. Yeah, but Rome had elected officials. Yeah,
and then they didn't exist. I know, So why are we thanking
them for falling? We're not. It was big. It's like thinks a
lot Rome. I mean, there were, depending on elections, happened throughout
human history. It just depends on the level of it. So like there
were elected positions still within you know, feudal society and stuff like that.
No, I mean it's like for your office bonus, do you want a
pizza party or a bar tup right? Not just cashing your hand? Yeah,
police for sure, always barte. But also if it could just be
cash, it never is. But all right, so, uh, who's
Hitler? I'm sorry, but you learned today? What did I learn?
Either Hitler are today? Yeah, I gotta say it's on Rome, Roman,
the Roman landlords. It's the Romans. So essentially, imagine this like
all the rich guys you know in town they get killed by the huns or
whatever, so you gotta go live. This is where it gets. Maybe
I don't totally speculate here, but you gotta go out to the country and
live on some rich, redneck asshole huge property him. Yeah, those guys,
those guys, yeah, fuck them, I would say. Also,
the Visigoths and the Vandals are also Hitler. They're fine, you know,
they just do what they do. You either start out as Hitler or live
long enough to become the hero. Those people became the French, and the
and the Spanish. I think, I mean the Gulls were the French.
Yeah, yeah, I mean they were like in the Franks obviously, And
I can't remember which one settled in Spain if it was the Visigoths or the
van I think the Vandals were North Africa and the Visigoths were Spain. Maybe
the Vandals were both all all great names. Yeah, the Galls kind of
in Spain two maybe a little bit. Yeah, they dipped it toe.
I mean that would make sense because they border France. Okay, cool,
Well that's it for today, you guys, thanks so much for to learn.
Yeah what you learn just how feudalism came to be. Yeah, thanks
for that, Jay, Yeah, you're welcome. Thanks for that little it's
actually a history lesson. Like sometimes I like to talk about how things happened
like how we got Look, it's always a more fun show when we actually
learned something. I didn't learn anything. I knew all this time. Why
do we even have you here to learn and not to learn to correct us?
So what he said was he didn't have fun. He had zero fun.
He he chimed in a lot, though, which was helpful. He
chimed in too, but in a more fun way. Okay, I thought
you were calling me out for like, oh, wait, to talk up,
Dan. I didn't know. I'm not saying you didn't talk I'm just
saying like he was, like, you know, he he knows more than
us on Rome especially, I don't think so. I think he's just confident
in what he says. You're probably right, We're just like he actually was
totally wrong the other day about Pidgeon Forge. That's true. I doubted myself.
I've been to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. I've been in a cabin in
Pigeon Forge, right next to Dollywood, and he somehow convinced me that it's
in Georgia. It's not. Because he quoted three year letterman. They were
like, oh, yeah, he's a Georgia guy. Check it out.
You haven't been to Pigeon Forge, Dan, Wait, hear him out.
I'm not gonna hear you out. Let him cook, I've been just you,
you haven't been to Pigeon Forge. I know for a fact you have
been a ship Jake. I think I'll I've never been a pigeon boy.
I think it's a Georgia man. It might be enjoyed thin, it's God
damn well, who knows where it is? I know you haven't been there.
We can't even if we can't even determine where it is. And I
know that Dan can't have been there, of course, I mean, just
you can't undo that. That's just a to B the B two C.
You know I don't know where Pigeon porges, then Pigeonforge is somewhere Dan hasn't
been. Why do I do this job? I should be a fucking attorney.
Should followed the man. Dude, go up there and confidently be like,
think, does this man look like a murderer to you? He does
not? He does not, He does not. If you've never seen a
murderer in real life, have you even seen a murder? Then how do
you know what a murderer looks? Like, how can you judge this man?
Are we sure he's even real? He could be AI. I want
to get that because I want to get my client back on the street raping
and killing, I mean, not doing that the opposite. Not my problem
what he does before or well, it is my problem what he did before
he got to me. It is not my problem what he does after he
leaves me. You would crush in New York right now? What do you
mean? Just with all the immigrants they're shipping up there? Would I crush?
What's a to b? It's fair? Right? The immigrants that got
off that just beat the ship on the cops and just left. Oh yeah,
I could be their lawyer, certainly. I still I mean as terrible
as it was the Martha's Vinyard thing, where it's like that's pretty funny,
like, yeah, what are they gonna don't don't be a yard signed liberal
if you don't want that ship on your front fucking yard. Fair. Yeah,
that's it for today, guys, So hope you learned something. Please
leave a review five stars please, and thank you Apple. Can you write
a review that would really helpful? We'll read those next week. We have
a bunch if we can get up to one thousand, I can drink again,
so that would be cool. Fifty short forty six I think short like
fifty short guys changes making dance so damn healthy. So please please and thank
you five stars on Spotify too if you can and appreciate it. Yeah,
well that's it for me, for Dan or Justin Ron Fox, I'm Jake
Goldman. You just got saw served.