In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of Opera Davis was chosen
by the College of Illusion. These fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM
at every opportunity. Today, still working together because really, who else would
work with them? They survive as adventurers of fortune. If you have a
problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire the Second Breakfast Club. Tony Kinney as Eddie Falzoni,
Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole as Urag and Jesse
Wicks as Bill Crilliance, Nico Rodriguez as your DM. Welcome back to the
continuing Tales of a Fool's Quest. So you get to Garris. Garrisk is
a fishing community much like the other ones that you've passed, but this one
appears to have some survivors that are here or residents or something. But there
are people, so there's normal smoke coming from chimneys. There are people hustling
and bustling around the town. You do notice that there is no activity around
the docks, the shipping docks that are there, but there are towns guards
that are going the city actually looks really busy, like kind of packed.
So intuition, maybe there are some survivors from IOW that have made it down
here, refugees. Refugees. Yeah, don't head home, y'all. You
have no water and okay, just a little heads up. And the taverns
burned down. Yeah, I said to the gates or or gate. There
is a gate. There is a wall. Yeah, it's not a military
for it like the other military styles that you've been to. It is kind
of the fishing community. But they do have like a makeshift There are like
a lot of sandbag walls to fill in blanks. They've kind of built it
around the buildings and they've boarded up the exterior doors and windows on the outside,
so so some of the housing is used as walls, and then they
filled in the blanks with like makeshift walls and they've it looks like you've ben
dismantled some boats and stuff to help fortify the town. But there's a gate
that you can come through the doorway and a couple of guards holding some really
shitty makeshift spears. One of them has got a pitchfork in his hand.
They usher you guys in and they close the door behind you. It's a
little delicious. Yeah essentially. Yeah, all right, Darus, So you've
made it in and captain of a guard obviously wearing an actual uniform, one
of the few people wearing an actual uniform. He is an Ara Cocra.
Kind of reminds you a bit of a Condor. He walks up, He's
like, hello, I'm Corey, Corey the Condor. Welcome to garrisk Are
Are you guys like an actual illusionist party? We are? That is fantastic.
We've been sending calls out for aid for weeks now. That's not why
we're here, But what aid do you need? Where do we start?
We've got refugees here from Io from demon attacks that have been happening along the
way. Fishing has stopped almost a full month ago. What would the cursed
fish and the poisoned fish that have been out there. We haven't been able
to get anything done, haven't you guys felt the impact up in the forsaken
city with no food reserves coming in? We hadn't when we left, but
that was just a little bit ago. Oh, we've been on a mission.
We got a head to New Hbira. Do you have any news from
that way. Bera seems to be doing fine. They are on the outskirts
of where the demon attacts, and plus they're a full city, so they've
got fortifications on Like what we you know much better than what we do here.
You said it was weeks ago you sent message to the forsaken city.
Yeah, I would imagine three weeks maybe four. We didn't hear anything,
so I wonder, but we do have a scroll the message the college.
We just wanted to investigate a little more first, to give as much information
as we could do you know, what's going on with the fish, like
why are they? Why are the fish? Yeah? No, so we
we sent a couple of messengers, one name Margaret and another name Terrence,
said different times. You haven't heard from either of them. No, oh
yeah, yeah, well it was it was just a call for reinforcements.
But yeah, the fish sometime maybe month, month and a half, maybe
two. I'm losing track of time. This weird trap was planted on the
docks and we haven't been able to disable it to get to the docks.
But we think that it's poisoning the fish, and that poison is spreading out,
so our docks have been completely locked off, and when you go out
there, you have to have a magic item to enter. Many of us
have taken magic items out and have tried to accomplish it. When we can't
accomplish it, it absorbs our magic item and makes it stronger, and we're
not sure how to break this trap, this weird magic gateway that's out there.
I can show you magic gateway. Yeah, let's see. You see
it is pretty good with docks turn off this way. So he leads you
out to the docks, and he takes you out to where there is a
pair of two Sphinx statues, and you can see the docks beyond, almost
as if you could pass through these gates where these giant Sphinx statues are and
make your way to the docks in the boats. But you see in the
sand, it looks like somebody's taking maybe a two by four and just dug
a t bline that kind of marks the area all the way across like the
sandy area for the docks, and then like marked the actual wood part of
the docks with paint and like so they've got it like a whole holly like
marked off where the breaking point is and He's like, these two sphinx statues
just appeared one day. Everyone that was working the docks that night disappeared,
and they weren't able to come back home. We assume the worst at this
point, and then anyone that goes in must have a magic item to enter
past that line. If you don't, you are struck down by the sphinxes,
the sphinx sie, the sphink, sphincter, sphink, Sorry, I
think sphincter ari eyes sphinx and can't get the can't get the country of origin
in the sentence I did we get a definition? Please plural of the sphinx?
Nice? That's Webster's definition. So I don't know if we We don't
have any more magic items to even test out. And it's a concern of
ours here because some of our magic items were used for defense against the demon
assaults. Find me some sticks, okay, sure. So he goes over
and there's a couple of dismantled boats. He takes like an oar from one
of them, and he brings the ore to you and he's like, it's
a short oar. Does this work? Yeah? Probably this weapon is shaped?
Okay, I don't know if it'll work, don't want to give it
a wak. Do all of you have magic items? Yes? No,
I do. Actually, Edie's got scrolls. Never mind, whos got a
magic item? I've got to actually two even I can't. I can't cast
magic weapon in front of this guy. That's probably too short. Stick your
Yeah you've got the shadow Crossbow. I have that wand twins spells. Yeah,
yeah, they'll get I could just studded leather. Yeah, the Ring
of feather Fall. You know, have something else? Do? I think
wind up double vision? That's what it was called. I kind of don't
want to lose my crossbow. Say, yeah, actually, that one's my
only magic I could unless the sprolls count the scrolls, I could guess like
the guy in Diaging, I happened to find a magic or. Oh no,
I've got the Sorcerer's Stone too. Oh yeah, yeah, there you
go. I can turn into a reagent. Yeah. You can turn into
any spell component once per day. Yeah. Yeah, you can hold out
of that while we go. Yeah. Corey takes the or back from you,
and he says, I will also know if you are attempting to go
in. When you go in, you're there for hours, sometimes up to
twenty hours that you're inside. I've gone in once and I felt like I
was only in there for maybe five or ten minutes, but by the time
I came out it had been ten hours. Does it seem like the same
city when you're there or is it the city goes away? It's just a
room, a room that you're in. It's weird. I assume that someone's
tried, like, you know, going around the statue, isn't it you
get zapped really hard? Take your word for that. Like, have you
ever seen the movie The Never Ending Story where the sphinx statues that people the
what room? Oh? Sorry movies? All right, you understood, I
just go around those sphinx. Well, we've all got magic items? What
did what do you? What do you try to do in the room?
Is there anything in there? It's just empty. We can't remember after we
leave. Oh, we just know that it's a room and you you don't
have your magic items when you get back out. Yeah. Well, first
time I went in, I went in with three magic items and I left
with only two. But I don't remember what magic item. I lost many
of the magic items. I just remember that I had them. All right,
Well, you guys have to go into a mystery amnesia room. Cool,
that's going to eat our magic items? Maybe not really, I mean
it's not even mine. I'm buying with it. That is any of those
magic items. A way for you to communicate back to the city, Yeah,
there is one, this scroll of sending here. Can you call for
reinforcements before you go in then? Just in case, Yes, that's probably
a good idea. Why don't we leave the scroll of sending with you and
you can call for reinforcements if we don't come back. But that's why if
we go in and we do discover something, we can send it back a
report. Yeah, and then we'll tell it. We'll fill that guy in
on the pack of smoke demons and IO two and be like, you know,
give him this, this is what we did out there. Fill him
in on the situation here. Let him know what we ran into in Io
and that the IO refugees are split between here and pepper Ridge Farms. Remembers
Pepperville. Dope, he says, he takes a scroll from you, Pepperville.
We should make a list of all the magic items we're taken with us,
so we don't forget, but we will forget because that's but they don't
have a leave a list behind. This is what we took. Okay,
all right, I'll list them out, go for it, all right.
Got my wand a double vision justice taking that notes. Bill's got my sorcerer's
stone. I've got my ring of featherfall. You deserve a sorcerer's stone.
You're no sorcerer. It's random a wizard. It's a wizard. It's a
warlock stone a wizard. Okay, I think that was all I had.
Yeah, I just had that crossbow. You're a wizard, Eddie because I
didn't get in my that's it, all right? Right? Just wait,
what about Valley? Uh like we cannot leave the car. We're not taking
the card in. Valley's got her shoes. Her shoes are magical. Yeah,
I've got super sneaky boots. She's got super sneaky boots too. That's
why she was always so quiet. She got him from famous footwear. Can
give him those to with this invisibility, so that maybe he had a chance
he needs you ever seen have you ever seen a cat with shoes on?
It's ridiculous. Away his legs out the side, take it up. We
just hang them from his antlers. So she's got her boots of stealth yep,
all right, that yeah, the others plus okay, any other magic
items you guys need to account for, Well, you're sure you don't have
anything. Yeah, I don't want to hear from you. I don't want
to tell you anything. I have revealed all of my magic items. What
about your flying monkeys? That warlocks? Flying monkeys warlocks might touche? All
right, you guys are ready to go in, Yes, going in?
All right? So you guys all step in, all right? Everybody roll
two D six and tell me what you get. We're gonna go in order.
Wh is the lowist sinko seven four fibeh. You and Eddie are tied,
Roll off, roll off, let's see ten six all right, So
it goes Eddie, or it goes Rag, Eddie, Adira, Bill and
Valley. All right, So you all enter in at the same time,
your magic items giving you access to the gateway. As you enter in the
gateway, you appear in a room. Before you and behind you is a
door. Neither door has a handle that you can see. You are all
alone in your own independent rooms. There is a bin next to the door
that you entered through. A voice echoes throughout the small room. You hear
it from every side of you. It says, well many seek the path
forward, too few chose to learn from the past? What have you learned
from the past? And ohag to you specifically, it says, speaker of
items and spirits? With so many voices in your head, can you do
more than suddenly? Here? Do you listen? Answer me these three questions.
One, what is Freck's mother's name, Doris? Doris Morris is correct?
Noise? Two? Which one of Eddie's parents is still living? Neither?
None? He is an orful? That is correct? Three? Which
nation is Valley's sister from Andre? The abcuration nation. You've answered the three
questions correctly. Now answer this final question, no longer about your past,
but instead your future. You must answer honestly, And we're gonna cut now
over to Eddie. Oh, dear Eddie, master of illusions. Your past
is layered with tricks and falsehoods. But is your memory true? Answer me
these three questions. What illusionary creature did you defeat during the sabotage of the
bells? Oh? Do you mean the griffin correct the griffin. Two.
What reagent was stolen from Dean's office that can be used to cause targeted hallucinations?
Well, it was morning glory powder, but it's more of a drug
than a reagent. Morning glory powder is correct. Three. During the illusionary
undead attack on your school, what dance did the illusions do? They did
the thriller dance thriller? You have answered all three questions correctly. Now answer
this final question, no longer about your past, but instead your future.
You must answer honestly and over to Adra. They're gonna be terrible, Adira,
fierce fighter of Your trail is littered with the corpses of your enemies.
Do you value life so little? Or do the faces of your enemies hank
your dreams? Answer me these three questions. What creature did you slay in
the chamber of pots hydra hydri is correct? Two? What was the original
name of the crowned skeleton of Giarmo's gambit? Oh? Fuck King Nirmo.
That is incorrect. I don't remember that. One. You had thirty seconds
to place your magical item in the bin and escape the room or you will
be terminated. Remember what it was? Let's hold the Book of Couse there
goes as crossbow. I'm not gonna find it in thirty seconds, and I
have to go through every single page. I don't remember. So you dropped
the crossbow in? Yeah, all right, you dropped the crossbow in and
it disintegrates into nothingness, which I'm going to need to figure that out later,
because that crossbow was supposed to do something and you accent Now not only
do you forget the crossbow exists, it has also disappeared off that list.
None of you remember that it exists, not even it is erased from existence.
And onto Bill, no pressure, No, it's not my item.
I don't care. Bill Clever quiver Lands, your tongue is as quick as
your symbol. But your adventures. Do you recall any of the stories you've
learned or are they lost to time? Answer me these three questions. One
and your almost cabinet. Which God did the king of the Old Side before
betraying the queen? Mm hmm it Caul wasn't Capulhu Cathul? Who is correct?
Two? The Moonlit Path is the third most recognized religion in the world.
What god do they worship? Eastern European God? I don't you shut
your hormouth. Well, no, I feel like I should know, but
I don't remember that. I'm a terrible aid names. Yeah, I don't
know. That is incorrect. You have thirty seconds to place your magical mindem
in the bin and escape the room, or you will be terminated. DA
drop it and the door opens up and you and Adira exit at the same
exact time. Mm hmm. And while Adeira and Bill rush to safety,
we're going to rush to a quick break. Fellow Zach here from geeks Camp,
and I'm here to warn you strongly about our podcast. We've got three
hosts forming some sort of a Bermuda triad where many unfortunate souls enter and precious,
precious few merge again unscathed. One of our siren hosts speaks incessantly about
dungeons and dragons and god knows what other melefants. The other a sea hag
of a man that delves the depths of Kickstarter and brings back both luminous pearls
and moist clams. Finally, the third and most despicable will spew tales of
distant lands like tabletop conventions and other occurrences. Together, we weave a tangled
net of RPGs, reviews, and interviews them sure to leave you breathless drowning.
Now, let me ask you a question. Has this tantalized you?
If so, you can catch the geeks Can't live on the World of Game
Design Twitch and YouTube each week. Just search for World of Game Design on
Twitch or YouTube, or search for Geeks Can't that's g E E K S
C A N T in your favorite podcast feed and you'll be able to download
the audio there. Enjoy. Let's get back in the fun. Back over
to ohag no More? Philosopher's Stone, Sorcerer's stone or whatever it was stone?
What is the one aberration to nature that you cannot abide? The one
aberration to nature that I cannot abide? Undead? It is a mockery of
the life cycle? Thank you for your response. The door opens up on
the other side, and nothing but bright light bleeds through, allowing you to
gain access to move forward. High Ny. After you have achieved absolute magic
power, what will you do with it? I think I'll share it.
I mean absolute magical power. You know, that's like all eight schools.
I'll teach other people to do that. I don't like. I don't like
how split up things are. The door opens on the far side and it
says thank you for your and the light bleeds through for you to gain entry,
Adira and Bill. After a short moment, Valley comes walking out on
your side and you see her pop out with you three, and you three
are sitting there and the others are gone, and it is like early morning
now you can kind of tell, like it's dark outside still. They had
put up a little camp, not camp, a little fire out there for
if you guys when you came out, but you, I mean, i'd
almost you know, a day is gone, like you've been in there for
a while. And so they're there and they've left some rations out, but
it looks like everybody's kind of been going to bed, and you know,
you're out there on your own in the morning, and oo, Rag and
Eddie. You walk through the door, you get to the other side.
In on the other side there is a sphinx statue. It is in two
pieces, and it appears as though the statue can be screwed back together if
you decide to do it, Like the top of the sphinx is unscrewed from
the bottom of the Sphinx and they're just sitting there, but in front of
it, there is an undead man standing there holding a large, like ridiculously
large sword, and he steps forward to block Ouag's path to I pull out
one of those bottles of wine from earlier. I will drink it. I
don't know the other skullat and didn't like look at distraction. Then I'll attack
him. Eddie, you see Valley sitting there, and she's harnessed magic in
her hands, and she says, I learned that magic he taught me.
I learned so much from you. I think I have enough to defeat you
now. And they both attack. So Valley shoots a magic bolt at you
from my crossbow. No, Eddie and uh, and she hits, but
she starts shooting it. And as she starts shooting it, she kind of
has to get closer to you, putting herself where she was out of range
from Urag before, out of melee range from both of you. She is
now within melee range of both of you, like you could easily get to
her and her but she hits you for four points of damage, and Ouag,
the undead knight charges for charges forward, but his sword like I said
was comically large. He goes to lift it above his head and just topples
off to the side, like he just falls backward, his sword going into
the sand as he tries to also evade the magic spell of that Valley just
shot off at Eddie. And it is your turns. I'll let whoever wants
to go first go first. You can go first, okay, I am
going to go hydra mode and uh just okay, undead guy first, ye
first? All role for the transformation it's ten okay, all right, that's
what two moves. It's three moves. But for you to attack in the
same turn, I'll charge you a move. Cool fair, all right,
So that's a seven. Okay. So you hit the undead guy, yeah,
all right, there is for three three okay, and he hits you
back as he like brings the sword back up to hell block. But he
hits for four and Eddie, mm hmm. I'm gonna cast in visit on
myself. Really no, no, I'm not. I'm going to cast that
for a strike on myself and I'm gonna move around the other side of u.
Rag's a little uh melee there. Keep that in between me and Valley.
Okay, and what does that look like? Your movement with that it
just like you can see, like the dust stir around my feet, A
little bit of wind picks up and pushes me along, So I go quicker,
nice, okay, all right, well that's uh, take it back
as a tankay sweet, Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Valley takes
and she shoots an ice bowl this time out from her hand, but it
slams into the back of the undead creature's shield just as she was aiming at
as you and you put the undead creature between you and her, she fires
it off at just the right moment, and your movement helps create that block.
And so lay into the shield that's on his back, and the undead
guy now takes a full swing at ORAG and hits minimum damage for three points
of damage. All right, all right, and it is turn okay in
hydro form. I'm just gonna start launching at it with multiple heads. That's
a nine that hits that's four, uh, and it it does hit you
back, but it doesn't do any damage because reasons. I'm gonna dart in
there real quick and smack that undead thing with my u a little baton there
and that is a no, I'm not that's a six. Okay, So
you swing your baton, but he easily uh strikes it to the side with
his giant sword. He just but that means my spell didn't hand Yeah,
yeah, nice, all right, Valley this time is gonna move around to
the side, and she puts herself right in u Rag's reach with his two
heads like she's like right in the fray now, but she shoots a poison
spray right at you hand who Rag, which does five points of damage and
you are both poisoned and undead. Guy is going to take that giant sword
and swing and just it's the same spot that he just hit where he does
zero damage to Rag. He learned that's a tough spot. M h.
What's the effects of being poisoned? It's minus one to your constitution, ongoing
until you get until the poison is resolved. On your character sheet. There's
like a if you look at constitution, there's a damage okay, and that's
back to extern. Okay. Well, since uh, Valley's in range,
I'm gonna take one of my hydrop and try to stomp her. Okay.
Seven seven is gonna hit her for nine, so nine damage will do it.
But just as you hit her, she does do some damage back.
She turns herself into an ice fike just for a whole entire bot. It
turns into a giant icing and as you stomp onto her, she does eight
points of damage back, but she is gone. That's teamwork, Eddie,
and that is sure all right. I'm gonna try for that. Do it
again. That'll do it. That's a nine yep, so nine you hit
him six damage, six damage is enough to do it. So but he
also gets a hit back at you, which he does. Try to block
again, but he shoots his sword forward, doing five points of damage to
you. But then he explodes as well as bones see fly out in each
direction, and the sand just grabs up to those bits and pieces frozen Valley
and skeleton Guy and just yanks them down in the sand below. And it's
just nothing but you and the Sphinx. I'm a fist bumpoo rag. We
got each other's back, buddy, all right, what do you think we
should do with the Sphinx? I guess we should put it together, agreed,
we'll put it together, all right, So you put it together,
and the magic barrier behind you, the trap, everything just dissolves, and
the two sphinxes, the ones that had the gateway out in front, they
crumble down into the ground, fading into the sand. We dude it,
we dude it, We sure the damn did And yeah, all of a
sudden you reappear. Both of you reappear in front of Bill and Adira and
Valley again. Belly's just sitting there. She's like, hey, you did
it. I just look Hey, hey, hey Vally, Hey, how's
it going? Okay, nice job, rubbed my hand. Hey Bill,
let me get that sort of that that Sorcerer's stoneback real quickly. You don't
know that you lost that? Oh yeah, that's erased from time. I
forgot My mistakes cannot be criticized. What mistakes the sphinx gas at all?
I'm never gonna learn. Oh she does, don't remember the four has bubbles
that I wanted it. It's got like a bubble right in the middle of
it. Would you keep it? All? Right? Uh? So,
there you guys are, and the magic seems to drop. You guys can
feel the magic in the air just dissolve, and Corey the Condor comes back
out and He's like, you did it you Yeah, hopefully you dissolved it.
We did dissolve it. That's fantastic. What what do you have there?
Mhm, the idols in your hands? What do we have? The
sphinx statue? Just the sphinx statue? Oh, picked it up from the
gift shop. That's that's the one that the fishermen found in the whale when
they killed it. Oh see, we thought there might have been some kind
of cursed whale death. I've heard about this whale. This was probably what
was killing the fish then. I had forgotten about the whale until I saw
the sphinx. Hm. Well we're gonna hold on to it, yes,
please, I don't want that here. Yeah, we're gonna keep this strange
meantime. I like what you've done with the place building, those the barricades
around town. Thank you. But a lot of refugees from Ile have made
their way to Pepperville. I don't know if you want to try to lead
the people here that way too. It seems like the demons haven't attacked her
yet. Yeah, small little contingents of demons have, but nothing too,
not the main force, not by any means. I don't think they've come
this far south, small little rating packs be risky, but it might be
safer to head to Pepperville because you know, the more people, the better
we are to able to defend ourselves. But do you know how Pepperville is
doing on food supplies? Yeah, that's no information, no current information out
of Pepperville, So that would be my biggest concern. Do you think the
curse with the fish has been resolved? I would think so. Yes.
Okay, well, maybe we'll stay here for a day or two and see
if we can that out whether the fish are safe to eat or not.
Now, if they are, maybe we should stay here. We have food
and water supply. He points at the water tower. As long as nothing
happens to our water tower. Yeah, it looks like the demon is messed
up. The one in ile. Probably put a double guard on that or
something. Yeah. Yeah, make sure that's well guarded. Good to know.
Yes, and you will call for reinforcements now, yeah. Yeah,
Well we gave you the scroll. You didn't use it yet. Oh no,
I thought you wanted me to wait till you got back out, That's
what I said. Well you're back out, yeah, so give me the
scroll okay, gives you the scroll? All right, all right, smelting
a letter, something along the lines of deer bean smelting. I am writing
you from the town of Grasscow, Griscow. It doesn't matter where. It's
on the coast, Gris Gris. There was a there was a there was
a curse on the fish. We fixed that. We're still heading the new
Hibira, but there's a pretty large force of demons terrorized in the area.
I always been abandoned. I'll tell him about the refugees. Blah blah blah.
Anyway, just checking in yours truly, Eddie, look all right,
all right, yeah, so you saund that and the scroll burns up in
your hand magically. You know, there's a little fizzlely spark a leaping and
Eddie, you forgot to mention how you might be about the warlock bit he
should know. This concludes this episode of A Fool's Quest. Join us next
time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank you for listening, and don't
forget to like, subscribe, review, and comment on your favorite platform to
listen to A Fool's Quest. Okay, do you guys want to know what
your last questions were? Really? Quick yes, yes, Adira. Who
is the god of death, the many faced god? And your last question
was who is the one person you could never slay? And then Bill your
last Your third question was name one of the nine souls that reside in the
scimitar of the nine Lives? I should know that? And I know?
Yeah? Am I a real questlinger? Am I a real questlinger? Would
be one? Yo? And your final question, if one of your party
members was cursed and you could not cure them, would you have what it
takes to sever their immortal coil from this plane? Yes? And the item
that went away that was cursed was that crossbow boo. And there's a whole
series of bad guys now that won't be in there because anyone that you had
killed with that crossbow would have created a soul demon, not a demon,
but like a soul entity that would come out later and they would all group
together, and you guys are going to have to fight them later. But
now we're gonna just killing. You erased that cursed item from existence. It
was a badass crossbow though here of the world. I didn't even know it,
all right, So