WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:05.120 Joyce. Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show. Thank you, Merry Christmas. 2 00:00:05.679 --> 00:00:11.199 Merry Christmas, Joyce. What's on your mind? Well, eighteen years ago 3 00:00:11.359 --> 00:00:18.559 my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, and around December of that year he 4 00:00:18.640 --> 00:00:23.679 had one lung removed, and then the following month, in January, he 5 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:30.440 had one kidney removed because of lung cancer. And the doctor says, well, 6 00:00:30.800 --> 00:00:34.880 we'll do everything we can, but I suggest to go home and get 7 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:42.719 your fears in order during the next six months. So we were both dumbfound 8 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:52.079 it. But three years he's said so many health issues and I miss him. 9 00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.600 I love miss so much, and he just died last a month. 10 00:00:57.000 --> 00:01:03.640 And I've been trying to reach all the reef books and understand all these things. 11 00:01:03.679 --> 00:01:11.079 But I'm sorry for crying, crying without wanting to, and then it'll 12 00:01:11.159 --> 00:01:18.200 be okay. But why would you try to stop your crying? Why would 13 00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:26.280 you try and stop your tears? Because they make me feel like I shouldn't 14 00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:33.719 be doing it, that I should be strong and brave and all the things 15 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:38.519 you mentioned sometimes about being courageous. Oh but that's not no, that's that 16 00:01:40.359 --> 00:01:46.120 is fiction. There is nothing weak about tears. There's there is only one 17 00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:49.799 place without tears, that says in scripture, and that's heaven, and that's 18 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:56.319 the fulfillment of everything, and there's no need for them. Hope is fulfilled. 19 00:01:57.239 --> 00:02:01.000 But while you're here on earth, that that is given to you as 20 00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:10.319 a gift to experience, to continue to have a physical reaction along with your 21 00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:17.159 emotions to a loss, a love, tears of joy, tears of pain, 22 00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:23.240 those are precious. They're not weak, not weak at all. Well, 23 00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:29.599 when you Mintioned mentioned passion a short time ago, I thought, you 24 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.599 know, during all these years, the past two years, he was pen 25 00:02:32.719 --> 00:02:38.439 bound and I was with them all the time, helping him and taking care 26 00:02:38.439 --> 00:02:46.280 of them, and he never complained. He was always such a good person, 27 00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:52.000 and I would get short with him sometimes. I think sometimes now I 28 00:02:52.039 --> 00:02:55.280 think I should have been kinder. But I always say a passion, for 29 00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:02.120 that is what you said about I was always he would say, oh, 30 00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:06.120 i'll see in a few minutes, because I keep going back in and talking 31 00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:08.120 to Hi much or telling him something. And I said, I can't help 32 00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:14.439 it. Here's like a magnet. You just I just like seeing you, 33 00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:21.479 you know anyway, But I'm not even sure what to say anymore. He 34 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:27.439 was just such a kind I think I think part of it was he was 35 00:03:27.520 --> 00:03:31.639 my everything. He was my friend, he was my husband, he was 36 00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:38.159 my TARKI for he was everything. He was a little boy sometimes and a 37 00:03:38.280 --> 00:03:46.840 strong man. And and I just miss all of those people. Well, 38 00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:52.560 the best of them are all of those things and more. And God trusted 39 00:03:53.800 --> 00:04:00.960 his heart to you and brought you to him and him to you, and 40 00:04:00.039 --> 00:04:04.000 trusted both of you with each other's lives. And as far as getting upset, 41 00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:10.439 and there is so many emotions when somebody is sick, and it is 42 00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:15.439 about the mechanical and the most boring basic things of having to feed or go 43 00:04:15.520 --> 00:04:19.199 back and forth when somebody can't. That's the basic fatigue, lack of sleep, 44 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:24.920 those are just the basic mechanics. And then deep down it's also the 45 00:04:25.079 --> 00:04:30.120 sadness that shows up as anger. That what that means is you know, 46 00:04:30.399 --> 00:04:33.759 we're not who we used to be, or I can't experience you in the 47 00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:39.720 same way as we used to do, or you know I miss these things. 48 00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:43.920 It comes out in many different ways. But what you said is profound. 49 00:04:44.600 --> 00:04:48.160 You said he was like a magnet. That's the way relationships should be, 50 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:57.839 not in a compulsive way. But in an interdependent way where it's just 51 00:04:57.959 --> 00:05:02.600 the mere presence of them has power. Just being in the other room, 52 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:06.720 even if you're not talking, just the being around and feeling the energy of 53 00:05:06.800 --> 00:05:14.079 somebody in your life is powerful. It's beautiful. That's exactly That's exactly how 54 00:05:14.120 --> 00:05:18.639 it was. And he had a little room that he liked to be in 55 00:05:18.680 --> 00:05:24.800 with the TV and sports and movies and reading the paper. And he was 56 00:05:24.920 --> 00:05:28.959 always always could make me laugh or smile. And he was so witty and 57 00:05:30.120 --> 00:05:36.160 so kind, and I was always teaking on him. He had a door 58 00:05:36.199 --> 00:05:42.439 that was used to be an old door, like in the old fashioned I 59 00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:46.600 forget what you call him telephone booths. Oh, yes, last panels. 60 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:51.240 So even when the door was closed, if I had to go into the 61 00:05:51.279 --> 00:05:56.199 other bathroom or into we only had one in the bathroom, I would always 62 00:05:56.439 --> 00:06:00.800 cross by that door, and I always could see him sleeping, watching TV 63 00:06:00.079 --> 00:06:04.600 or reading. And it always, I don't know, it always gave me 64 00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:13.360 a sense of I don't know how to describe it, like wonderment or something, 65 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:21.759 just how he could be so calm and generous with his time and energy 66 00:06:21.839 --> 00:06:30.000 and storytelling you. He was a wonderful storyteller. And oh, thank you 67 00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:33.800 for letting me talk about me feel so much better. Of course, you 68 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:38.680 know, there's some things that I would love for you to take with you 69 00:06:38.720 --> 00:06:46.120 today, and one of them is to maybe journal the stories as best as 70 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.439 you can, to write them down in a book and the way it was 71 00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:54.639 brought to you, and the understanding of those things, because you're kind of 72 00:06:54.920 --> 00:06:58.920 the curator. I tell people this a lot that you've got to understand. 73 00:06:58.959 --> 00:07:03.480 When you're the one that outlives someone, you end up being the curator of 74 00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:08.959 their jokes, of their thoughts, of their ideas, and if you put 75 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:12.319 them down on paper, it's a good thing they live. There there's something 76 00:07:12.360 --> 00:07:18.680 you can look at and see that it's tangible and reread and it helps you 77 00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:25.839 categorize some of these emotions and memories in a loving and fun way. And 78 00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:30.000 it's like, you know, the book of your husband and certain things like 79 00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:34.680 that. Secondly, how old were you when you met Oh? I think 80 00:07:36.160 --> 00:07:41.680 just under forty maybe well when we first met, oh, probably in by 81 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:46.319 thirties. Okay, So now imagine all the life you lived prior to meeting 82 00:07:46.439 --> 00:07:53.720 him. Yes, that life is what attracted him to you. Now, 83 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:58.600 of course, physical beauty and the way you moved, and your eyes and 84 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:03.160 your smile, and all these things are there. But that knowledge, the 85 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:09.000 things that you learned, the way you listened, the stories you told, 86 00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:16.519 all of that is what made him love you. And your job now is 87 00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:24.560 to continue those things, continue learning, continue laughing, continue living in a 88 00:08:24.600 --> 00:08:31.000 way that honors your relationship, honors the time that he took with you, 89 00:08:31.559 --> 00:08:37.159 honors the time that you took with him, and that honors God and the 90 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:43.440 time that you had together in him putting you two together, and to take 91 00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:52.200 those things and to appreciate them by living still. He was your everything in 92 00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:56.759 the way that you both focused on each other, but he's not your everything 93 00:08:56.759 --> 00:09:01.919 in reality. You came in you to that relationship with everything, and you 94 00:09:03.080 --> 00:09:11.919 leave that relationship with everything, including the beautiful memories of being with him and 95 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:16.799 what you both gave to each other. So Joyce, I want you to 96 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:20.720 go and peace, my dear, on this Christmas Eve, and I want 97 00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:22.679 you to think happy thoughts, and I want you to write down the thoughts 98 00:09:24.080 --> 00:09:28.480 of holidays, pasts, of stories past, and of things that Joyce wants 99 00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:33.120 to do. What is Joyce going to do now? What does this remainder 100 00:09:33.240 --> 00:09:39.000 of your life look like. How are you going to honor that relationship by 101 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:43.480 continuing to live? Which is the best thing to do when someone passes, 102 00:09:43.960 --> 00:10:22.279 is to continue to honor them by living. M m Allison, Welcome to 103 00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:28.919 the Jesus Christ Show. Good morning and Happy Christmas. Well, happy Christmas 104 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:35.159 to you. How can I help you? So, my wonderful, beautiful 105 00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:41.000 six year old who's extremely intelligent and well spoken and reads well and understands at 106 00:10:41.039 --> 00:10:46.639 a greater level that most think. For Esus to want to go with me 107 00:10:48.039 --> 00:11:00.559 today to Christmas Eve service to celebrate your birth well not uncommon. So as 108 00:11:00.600 --> 00:11:09.000 a parent, what's your initial gut reaction? I'm a little frustrated because this 109 00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:16.039 young man is blessed beyond means. His mommy and his daddy is a chef 110 00:11:16.080 --> 00:11:22.879 who just lost his job because of the twenty dollars an hour increase. His 111 00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:26.879 mommy is a housekeeper that works when he's at school so that she's available to 112 00:11:28.039 --> 00:11:33.360 him all day. And he is never without, he has never been without. 113 00:11:33.679 --> 00:11:41.200 And I just there's just something about this that is really really bugging me. 114 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:46.000 To Jesus, Well, one, I wouldn't force it. It's much 115 00:11:46.039 --> 00:11:52.080 easier when you start early. And I will tell you that just as a 116 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:58.279 point of comfort, not to take from your personal story, but my producer, 117 00:11:58.399 --> 00:12:05.559 Neil Save, has a seven year old and it goes through the same 118 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:11.240 thing. It's not just you. It is complicated. Kids are very smart. 119 00:12:11.240 --> 00:12:15.480 As a matter of fact, there are studies that show that kids think 120 00:12:15.559 --> 00:12:24.039 on a genius level, and that basically people parents, schools kind of ungeniusfy 121 00:12:24.159 --> 00:12:31.399 them because trying to put people in a box and teach them about different things 122 00:12:31.480 --> 00:12:35.559 rather than understanding and reasoning. But kids are very good problem solvers. Kids 123 00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:41.320 have a great intellect. They're thirsty, and they're taking it all in the 124 00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:46.240 concept of God, the concept of faith, and the concept of these things 125 00:12:46.799 --> 00:12:56.200 are very difficult because everything is provided for them. So imagine this with all 126 00:12:56.240 --> 00:13:03.279 those great blessings and all those things that you described, that your child has 127 00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:07.240 the brain of a six year old. Now you take Adam and Eve, 128 00:13:07.759 --> 00:13:13.679 you put them in perfection, in paradise, in the presence of God, 129 00:13:13.440 --> 00:13:18.600 and they still don't get it. So don't expect the six year old to 130 00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:24.799 get it all. I would start maybe with stories. There is a Bible 131 00:13:24.039 --> 00:13:28.240 that I have referred to on this show, and I recommend called the Picture 132 00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:35.879 Bible. And yeah, so that's a great start, especially when you go 133 00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:41.120 through the holidays. You can read from that. There are cartoons that can 134 00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:46.440 be helpful about the basics of the story of what's going on. Nativities in 135 00:13:46.519 --> 00:13:48.480 the house can be helpful. Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt you, 136 00:13:48.559 --> 00:13:52.840 but I will make you laugh. Literally, when I was explaining to him 137 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:58.519 why we got to go to Christmas church, he ran and grabbed his little 138 00:13:58.559 --> 00:14:03.080 book of the Charlie Brown Christmas and he read me the passage that line has 139 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:05.480 read him. He's like, I understand Christmas, Mommy, I don't need 140 00:14:05.480 --> 00:14:09.399 to go to church. Okay, well, see that's a really wonderful thing. 141 00:14:09.480 --> 00:14:13.440 And by the way, I'll let the other part slide. But when 142 00:14:13.440 --> 00:14:18.720 it comes to understanding, that's the first part. That's first part of everything. 143 00:14:20.360 --> 00:14:26.600 You understand what it is first, and then you understand what that means, 144 00:14:26.279 --> 00:14:30.960 what that knowledge means, and then you apply it. A six year 145 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:31.919 old is not going to apply it. As a matter of fact, a 146 00:14:31.960 --> 00:14:37.559 six year old is not at the point of understanding. It's a matter some 147 00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:43.240 theologians believe that Heaven forbid, if he passed today, he's not accountable for 148 00:14:43.279 --> 00:14:46.440 what he doesn't know because he's six. Some people say it's ten, some 149 00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:52.000 people say it's twelve. All of these things the reality, Allison, all 150 00:14:52.039 --> 00:14:56.399 you can be is an example. If he doesn't understand church or doesn't want 151 00:14:56.440 --> 00:15:01.279 to participate, that's a bigger issue of trying to to explain the importance of 152 00:15:01.399 --> 00:15:07.039 getting together with you know, other people, and there'll be other kids and 153 00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:13.159 they'll be opportunities to learn some things and ask questions, but it is it's 154 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:18.720 complicated, and unless they're going to church day one and it's just part of 155 00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:26.960 the family, it's more difficult to introduce it to them later. And having 156 00:15:28.039 --> 00:15:33.759 that structure is important, but it's not always easy, especially in today's world. 157 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:37.000 But the fact that a kid doesn't want to go to church, it's 158 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:41.240 not the end of the world. The key is to understand first, because 159 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:46.159 his communion, his connection is with you, your family. That's where he's 160 00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:52.919 getting his coin and the at right now, that communion, that connection later 161 00:15:52.039 --> 00:15:56.759 it will come from the church body, and you'll have to weave that in 162 00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:18.039 the curiosity. The curiosity starts now in understanding I was trismacy, the true 163 00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:33.960 tick less set, unsafe other merry Christmas to you. I know that there's 164 00:16:33.000 --> 00:16:38.720 a lot going on in the world, but celebrations and festivals and feasts and 165 00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:48.000 these things can be important to remind you what life is and why it's worth 166 00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:56.080 fighting for, why it's worth celebrating, and in this particular case, to 167 00:16:56.159 --> 00:17:04.839 give thanks towards the birth of a savior that could bring salvation to those that 168 00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:11.119 believe and have faith. Now, not everybody will be in a state of 169 00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:22.279 joy, but this is still a time of gathering and connecting. Eight hundred 170 00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:26.799 and five to zero one five three four is the number if you have a 171 00:17:26.920 --> 00:17:32.039 theology question or life situation question anywhere in the US of eight eight hundred and 172 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:38.880 five to zero one five three four. Joanna, Welcome to the Jesus Christ 173 00:17:38.920 --> 00:17:49.720 Show. Hi Jesus, Yeah, thank you for your birth and your resurrection, 174 00:17:49.920 --> 00:17:53.640 of course. And I just, you know, like a lot of 175 00:17:55.559 --> 00:18:00.880 moms, I'm sure and grandmother's I just I'm getting I'm seeing all the packages 176 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:10.000 I've wrapped and I'm still making some food. And I feel like with my 177 00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:15.079 kids, my daughter, I'm just tolerated. It's not like I'm even wanted 178 00:18:15.160 --> 00:18:22.279 there. And I don't want to be like, you know, it's just 179 00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:26.799 hurtful because I know I'm going to go there, and it's just like they're 180 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:30.759 doing an obligation and my son probably won't even say a word to me, 181 00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:41.559 and my daughter just tolerates. And this attitude has influenced I feel like my 182 00:18:41.640 --> 00:18:45.720 grandkids a bit not I mean, they just don't see that included. I 183 00:18:45.799 --> 00:18:52.000 live like two miles from my daughter, for example, and here's an example. 184 00:18:53.160 --> 00:18:59.079 So you know, there her and her husband are making tmallies. Well 185 00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:03.359 you know, she's Hispanic, he's not. And it's like a you know, 186 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.319 tradition in my family for years. I am not included. I'm not 187 00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:12.160 asked to come, I'm not asked for any you know, and it's this 188 00:19:12.240 --> 00:19:15.359 is the first time they've done it. And my daughter said, oh yeah, 189 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:18.039 well we've got to Tomali's. You know, it's too much with a 190 00:19:18.039 --> 00:19:21.799 lot of people. But then she let me know that she had invited mark 191 00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:26.880 my granddaughters, and it's hurtful. I just don't. I know, there's 192 00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:32.319 a lot of things in the past, but I've tried to you know, 193 00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:38.960 well, her dad and I got a divorce, and her anger towards me, 194 00:19:40.039 --> 00:19:42.599 it just doesn't stop. It just doesn't matter what. Let's for the 195 00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:48.240 sake of you know, time, We're obviously limited, and I want to 196 00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:52.279 ask you a couple questions, Joanna. First of all, is dad still 197 00:19:52.279 --> 00:19:59.240 in the picture anywhere? Yeah? My ex husband, he lives two blocks 198 00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:02.599 from me and he if not, we're neither one of us are married, 199 00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:07.880 although he has been married two other times after me. Oh great, he's 200 00:20:07.920 --> 00:20:11.759 not married. So does he have a relationship with the kids and the grandchildren? 201 00:20:11.880 --> 00:20:18.519 Oh? Yeah, they adore him. Okay, So did you activate 202 00:20:18.640 --> 00:20:26.039 the divorce? H I left? Yeah? I left? Yeah, I 203 00:20:26.160 --> 00:20:29.799 left. Okay. So in your words, and I know this can be 204 00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:34.839 hard to be objective, but to look outside of the situation. Why do 205 00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:47.960 you think they have a problem with you? Well, I'm I guess I 206 00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:53.839 do have strong opinions, but I don't scare them. And then when I 207 00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:59.119 do, when I get abused, what I feel like I've been used too 208 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:03.640 much? Then out in a way that's not good. Okay, So you 209 00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:11.519 weaponize your responses too, Well, yeah, it has been but well, 210 00:21:12.839 --> 00:21:15.960 well after years, you know, it takes a while. I mean, 211 00:21:17.400 --> 00:21:21.759 it's just so much abuse. Like we were, I was babysitting constantly, 212 00:21:21.960 --> 00:21:25.279 and you know, I'm seventy at least I was sixty five at the time, 213 00:21:25.319 --> 00:21:30.000 and just totally just dropping them off and not concern And then when they're 214 00:21:30.039 --> 00:21:34.559 relatives, when his family would come over from out of state, they would 215 00:21:34.599 --> 00:21:37.160 be taking him to dinner, taking going to the kids of the zoo. 216 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:42.079 But my hex husband and I were simply the drop off people. And after 217 00:21:42.119 --> 00:21:45.640 a while, yeah, it got to feel like geez, you know, 218 00:21:47.119 --> 00:21:51.519 so your ex husband was doing the same thing, doing something similar, picking 219 00:21:51.599 --> 00:21:53.960 up, dropping off. Did he have the same problems with it that you 220 00:21:55.000 --> 00:21:59.519 did. No, he did it, he did it. No, he 221 00:21:59.559 --> 00:22:02.559 doesn't, he does than that ever at all? You know, Well, 222 00:22:02.599 --> 00:22:04.480 then, can I just heard one thing? Jesus, this is just so 223 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:10.599 it's so okay. So just real quick, Like a month ago, October 224 00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:12.759 twenty fourth, my sister, my oldest sister, this ady called me her 225 00:22:12.839 --> 00:22:18.759 kids embezzled her entire account, which was over one million dollars, and quick 226 00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:22.519 claimed her home. She called me from out of state. Yeah, she 227 00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:25.440 called me from out of state. She's not even my closest sister, but 228 00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:29.079 you know, she's my sister. So I said, I'm coming out there. 229 00:22:29.200 --> 00:22:33.200 I'll fly out there, and I brought my ex husband. He's pretty 230 00:22:33.200 --> 00:22:37.640 mild mannered and she's got you know, he's despite the fact we've in the 231 00:22:37.720 --> 00:22:41.400 drawers whatever fifty years, were still close in the family, and he felt 232 00:22:41.440 --> 00:22:45.319 she felt like she needed we needed some support. So I went over that 233 00:22:45.400 --> 00:22:49.440 when we got there and in this rush to save my sister because her the 234 00:22:49.440 --> 00:22:53.079 people that in bezzled are sitting there in her home boasting that they have her 235 00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:59.440 house now. So we get her car. We started to read in my 236 00:22:59.640 --> 00:23:04.559 ex and ended up having this episode where he was like lost his mind, 237 00:23:04.599 --> 00:23:08.079 and I think later it was maybe having to do with the hell high altitude 238 00:23:08.079 --> 00:23:11.759 from where we were living, and I had to spend time in the emergency 239 00:23:11.839 --> 00:23:15.920 room. They wanted to do all this stuff. I get my sister home 240 00:23:17.240 --> 00:23:22.119 back to California and he had some test. It didn't show anything, and 241 00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:26.960 my daughter was very angry that I didn't stay there. I cannot stay. 242 00:23:26.079 --> 00:23:32.559 I'm in California. Your dad seems okay now he found me out, Joanna, 243 00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:36.400 she won't stay to me now, Okay. Well, we're up against 244 00:23:36.440 --> 00:23:40.759 the clock and that's something. There's something no. But I just want to 245 00:23:40.759 --> 00:23:44.960 say this, my dear, because I can hear the frustration. I can't 246 00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:51.839 pull all the people in your daughter's your ex I only have you the work. 247 00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:55.079 Sounds like it's your work that needs to be done. Don't worry about 248 00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:59.200 them, and that's going to take You're going to have to face it and 249 00:23:59.279 --> 00:24:04.519 say to make this better. You know you're going to want to hear exactly 250 00:24:06.119 --> 00:24:12.640 what their problem is, your family, your daughters, because it it seems, 251 00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:18.160 I mean, even you giving me specific dates October twenty fourth of these, 252 00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:22.920 that you keep things differently, you hold them differently in your heart, 253 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:29.839 and you express them differently, and for whatever reason, that makes it difficult 254 00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:33.720 for people to enjoy your presence, and then you don't enjoy it. And 255 00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:37.640 I don't think you deserve to be in that situation, and I don't think 256 00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:41.240 they deserve to be in that situation. But the key is with you for 257 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:44.759 your life, because you're the one that's bold and brave enough to call in 258 00:24:45.240 --> 00:24:48.319 and ask the question. I'm giving you the answer, and that is you 259 00:24:48.400 --> 00:24:52.519 need to do some work on yourself. But first of all, you need 260 00:24:52.559 --> 00:25:00.160 to have some very tough either letter exchanges or sit downs with your daughter and 261 00:25:00.279 --> 00:25:04.400 say, what is it about me that bothers. You I'm giving you. 262 00:25:06.160 --> 00:25:08.680 Don't argue with them, don't any of that. You just take it, 263 00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:14.839 go home with it and see what is real and what you feel you need 264 00:25:14.880 --> 00:25:48.880 to work on, because this is to better you, not better them. 265 00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:52.640 You know, we come together on Sundays. This show has been on for 266 00:25:52.720 --> 00:26:00.039 over two decades. I know, right, kind of nutty, isn't it. 267 00:26:00.039 --> 00:26:06.279 It's been syndicated for over a decade, a meaning that it airs on 268 00:26:06.599 --> 00:26:15.279 some eighty stations or so across the country. And the years and the cycles 269 00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:22.880 go by, and inevitably we come across at least two major holidays, Christmas 270 00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:30.599 and Easter, and the importance of these holidays to the believer, to the 271 00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:41.519 Christian one is the birth of hope, and one is the fulfillment of hope. 272 00:26:41.720 --> 00:26:55.000 The birth of hope, obviously is celebrated on Christmas, and the completion 273 00:26:56.039 --> 00:27:02.720 the actualizing of that hope is on Easter, the death on the Cross and 274 00:27:02.759 --> 00:27:14.000 the resurrection. If nothing else, in the pain, in the loss and 275 00:27:14.119 --> 00:27:19.240 a lot of loss still in calls, we can't get to whether it's Dennis's 276 00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:26.279 sweet dog Anne and her friend that she's trying to help, whatever it might 277 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:33.720 be, contemplation of the afterlife from John. Whatever it might be going through 278 00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:47.279 your head today on Christmas, whatever it is, try to focus on the 279 00:27:47.319 --> 00:27:52.359 hope of the birth, the newness of the birth, the faith that surrounded 280 00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:57.559 the birth, not only of Mary, the faith of Joseph, the faith 281 00:27:59.039 --> 00:28:11.319 of the Madge to traverse to get to see the baby King. Focus on 282 00:28:11.480 --> 00:28:19.200 that hope. With every death there is newness. With the end of something 283 00:28:19.599 --> 00:28:26.319 is the beginning of something else. And to stare as much pain as it 284 00:28:26.440 --> 00:28:34.000 has involved in the loss of something or someone, and that pain is real 285 00:28:34.119 --> 00:28:44.200 and should be experienced. However, in addition to that comes the reality of 286 00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:52.640 life, of more trials and understanding, of more blessings, of more curiosity 287 00:28:53.880 --> 00:29:03.319 and fulfillment of knowledge, of passing torches on to younger and newer generations. 288 00:29:04.519 --> 00:29:10.359 And even in all the pain and confusion in the world, if just within 289 00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:19.799 this season you can take the time and lean your faith on a birth and 290 00:29:19.880 --> 00:29:27.039 the newness of that birth, then maybe that and wanting to serve others and 291 00:29:27.160 --> 00:29:34.359 having a servant's heart will give you a perspective and insight that will go beyond 292 00:29:34.440 --> 00:29:42.640 your circumstances or situation and guide you into an understanding that goes beyond this world 293 00:29:44.680 --> 00:29:52.839 into the next. Merry Christmas, and remember these simple words, I am 294 00:29:52.880 --> 00:30:11.200 with you. Always reach out of us face yep personogy esus. Someone want 295 00:30:11.240 --> 00:30:18.759 to hear, but someone who kills your personogy ess.