WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.360 --> 00:00:04.719 Hey everyone, Robert here, I played just in time on Cop Doctors. 2 00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:09.759 I know what you're thinking. What no way, you sound completely different. 3 00:00:10.119 --> 00:00:16.120 That's crazy. You must have taken awesome acting classes. Well no I didn't. 4 00:00:16.280 --> 00:00:20.839 I'm just that good anyway. I'm not here to talk about how great 5 00:00:20.879 --> 00:00:24.519 at acting I am doing. I'm here to let you guys know we had 6 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:28.440 an issue with the latest episode of Cop Doctors. It turns out we here 7 00:00:28.480 --> 00:00:32.240 at seven Lamb forgot to pay our yearly bill for sound effects, so we 8 00:00:32.280 --> 00:00:35.640 didn't have time to get sounds for this episode. But do not fret, 9 00:00:35.640 --> 00:00:39.359 you lovely bunch of coconuts. Jack and I talked about it, and we 10 00:00:39.399 --> 00:00:44.119 came up with a quick solution to do all the sound effects ourselves. Holy 11 00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:48.920 shit, that's right. All the sound effects will be done by us. 12 00:00:49.399 --> 00:01:06.879 Hope you enjoy seven Land Productions Presents Cough Doctors, Episode twenty eight. Hang 13 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:26.480 pongeepepepep scalpel. Here you are doctor. It was needing midnight, but the 14 00:01:26.680 --> 00:01:33.439 doctors will hut at work trying to remove tennis balls from a man's annual cavity. 15 00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.840 How did he get them stuck in there? Apparently cheated on his wife 16 00:01:38.079 --> 00:01:42.239 Ivanka Meyer, the two time Grand Slam winner. She's got a heck of 17 00:01:42.280 --> 00:01:46.840 a backhand. I guess that explains how they're so far up there and they're 18 00:01:46.879 --> 00:01:49.959 not easy getting out. It beats that woman we helped yesterday. Hell, 19 00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:55.319 she's still recovering the stripper with the ping pong balls. Yeah, she had 20 00:01:55.439 --> 00:02:01.280 so many uppercucie time be professional, use technical terms. Sorry her pussy, 21 00:02:01.599 --> 00:02:10.240 thank you. Keep keep And there's another one. Case yanked out a third 22 00:02:10.280 --> 00:02:15.639 tennis ball from the man's asshole. There's gotta be an easier way. We 23 00:02:15.639 --> 00:02:17.759 could always jump on his stomach. Why's that always your first idea when it 24 00:02:17.800 --> 00:02:23.039 comes to stuff being up people's asses and pussies? Because we've never tried it, 25 00:02:23.120 --> 00:02:25.439 but by golly, I think it could work. As Case was just 26 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:34.080 about to grab another ball, gunshots rang out. Pop. What thee? 27 00:02:34.120 --> 00:02:37.680 What was that? I don't know. There's Betty keep an eye on the 28 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:43.840 patient. I'll keep both on him. Popa time and Case went into the 29 00:02:43.879 --> 00:02:47.639 lobby where people were covering in fear. Three armed men were at the front 30 00:02:47.639 --> 00:02:52.879 desk near another man on a stretcher. What's going on here? I'll tell 31 00:02:52.919 --> 00:02:54.759 you what's going on. Our boy here was shot and we need a doctor 32 00:02:54.759 --> 00:02:58.759 to look at him a sap. And if you don't get the attention he 33 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:02.599 needs, then we're gonna shoot everyone in here. Oh my god, shut 34 00:03:02.680 --> 00:03:07.719 up you hey, relax, we'll look at your friend. Just don't harm 35 00:03:07.759 --> 00:03:10.080 these people. Fine, but no funny business, Sam, Keep watch, 36 00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:15.360 Carlson, watch the back entrance. No one gets in or out until Manny's 37 00:03:15.400 --> 00:03:19.120 back on his feet. Case and time grabbed the stretch out with the injured 38 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:24.080 men. Clink. You two listen here, and you listen good. If 39 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:28.719 Manny somehow doesn't make it well, then neither will you two? Got it? 40 00:03:28.919 --> 00:03:31.120 You mean if your friend Manny dies, you'll kill us. That's exactly 41 00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:35.400 what I mean. Then yeah, we understand. I got it. Good, 42 00:03:35.719 --> 00:04:02.439 let's go. Five minutes later and the coup doctors had wheeled Manny into 43 00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:09.599 the e. Manny was shot ten times, just narrowly beating fifty cent How 44 00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:13.719 did this happen? Someone shot him? Yes? But why? Oh you'd 45 00:04:13.719 --> 00:04:15.639 like to know, wouldn't you. Well, it ain't happening. We're gonna 46 00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:18.319 help my boy and then get the hell out of here, and you better 47 00:04:18.360 --> 00:04:23.000 do it fast before the cops arrive. Little did the bad guy. Know 48 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:28.839 the cops were already here time and case they were cups too, But did 49 00:04:28.839 --> 00:04:31.600 you forget? Did you forget? Listener? We're gonna help him, but 50 00:04:31.879 --> 00:04:35.399 was it really necessary to hold up the entire hospital. They tried to put 51 00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:39.399 us on a waiting list, try to make us fill out all kinds of 52 00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:42.560 paperwork. Then they threatened to call the cops. Well, look, who's 53 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:46.720 gonna call the cops now? You no, no one? Ah? That 54 00:04:46.839 --> 00:04:49.920 was my second guess. All you're doing is causing a scene. Enough talk 55 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:54.360 out of you too, Help Manny? Now, well, help manny because 56 00:04:54.360 --> 00:04:59.519 we took the doctors. Oh not because you're holding a gun to our heads, 57 00:04:59.560 --> 00:05:02.279 but so kind of because of the gun to our heads. Anyway, 58 00:05:02.439 --> 00:05:11.959 let's get to work, peepe. The cup duct us ended up removing most 59 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:16.879 of the bullets. Here we go, it's number nine. We call that 60 00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:20.759 a full fifty cent. And now for the last one, which is tricky, 61 00:05:21.040 --> 00:05:26.319 why because it's lodged in his spine. You better help him? Where 62 00:05:26.399 --> 00:05:30.480 I swarm wearing doesn't bother me, I used to day us. See just 63 00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:35.079 then they swung open. Hell, what's going on? We done here? 64 00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:39.879 Not yet? Well, the police are outside they're surrounding the building. How 65 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:43.720 they know someone wants to tip them off? Shit? You get ahold of 66 00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:46.720 the boss. Boss is working on getting us a chop her out of here. 67 00:05:46.040 --> 00:05:48.680 Good, go make sure no one gets out. We may need some 68 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:54.160 hostages for a clean getaway. You got it, Al, Your name is 69 00:05:54.199 --> 00:05:58.480 Al. Actually it's Alfonso, but as Paul Simon so elegantly put it, 70 00:05:58.680 --> 00:06:00.800 you can call me Al. I thought chevy Chase sing that song. You 71 00:06:00.839 --> 00:06:03.879 thought chevy Chase could sing? No, but I thought he did it. 72 00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:09.480 Anyway, Enough chatting back to work. We need more time. There isn't 73 00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:14.160 more time. The cup doctors scrambled to get the last bullet out. They 74 00:06:14.279 --> 00:06:17.120 even called on Nurse Betty, although they didn't want to put her in harm's 75 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:21.759 way, but they really needed someone to hand them a scalpel. Scalpel here 76 00:06:21.759 --> 00:06:30.680 you are, doctor Um all better? Well, the chopper is here, 77 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:36.519 it is. Can't you hear it? Oh? Yeah, I do now 78 00:06:38.040 --> 00:06:43.560 faintly, Sam get Carlson man. He's ready. Okay, And as for 79 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:47.040 you, I'll grabbed Nurse Betty by her scrub. You're coming with us? 80 00:06:47.319 --> 00:06:51.959 No, yes, I'll ordered Nurse Betty to push the cat out the door. 81 00:06:54.279 --> 00:06:56.920 Case, we have to do something. Nurse Betty is in trouble. 82 00:06:57.040 --> 00:07:00.360 If they get to the chopper, then we've lost I know, but what 83 00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:02.959 are we gonna do? We don't have our guns. Remember he said we 84 00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:06.360 needed to clean them, and now they're hanging from the clothes line outside our 85 00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:11.439 place. I know. Damn what a bad day to clean our guns. 86 00:07:11.639 --> 00:07:14.480 And they have machine guns. It's not like we can just walk up and 87 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:17.079 karate chop, but we need something long range. Yeah, but what can 88 00:07:17.120 --> 00:07:25.639 we? Wait a second? I have an idea. They rushed into the 89 00:07:25.759 --> 00:07:30.920 next operating room with the man we pennis balls up his butt sat still knocked 90 00:07:30.920 --> 00:07:32.600 out. Damn it, I was hoping he was awake. Oh, come 91 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:36.639 on, time? What was the plan? Having fired tennis balls out of 92 00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:40.600 his ass and an attempt to bombard the bad guys long enough for one of 93 00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:44.040 us to swoop in, disarmed them and rescue Nurse Betty. That wouldn't work. 94 00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:50.160 I mean maybe, but he's out cold this way, Time and Case 95 00:07:50.279 --> 00:08:11.759 rush to Cherry Blossoms room. I'm sorry, what we need your pussy, 96 00:08:11.000 --> 00:08:16.360 but like in a non offensive, perverted way, and how we don't have 97 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:20.319 much time to explain? There are bad guys who have one of our nurses 98 00:08:20.360 --> 00:08:24.160 hostage. We need projectiles to attack. We need your pussy. I don't 99 00:08:24.199 --> 00:08:28.319 know. I'd love to help you, but I haven't used my pussy in 100 00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:31.519 over two weeks. I don't even know if I can anymore. Don't say 101 00:08:31.559 --> 00:08:35.519 that. Yeah, if anyone in this hospital can use their pussy, it's 102 00:08:35.639 --> 00:08:39.759 you. You used to do fun backstage shows. Yeah, and we heard 103 00:08:39.799 --> 00:08:43.759 you was so good with ping pong balls that it put forward his gump to 104 00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:46.759 shake. We also heard you were once able to hit Marc five. Actually 105 00:08:46.840 --> 00:08:52.600 it was Mark four and a half. I mean still, but that was 106 00:08:52.519 --> 00:08:56.720 that was so long ago, way before the accident. The accident where you 107 00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:00.960 fell on a whole can of ping pong balls, The accident which saw you 108 00:09:01.000 --> 00:09:03.559 so backed up you couldn't even pee, The accident that saw you reach out 109 00:09:03.559 --> 00:09:07.879 for help here from us, I see what you're saying. You did help 110 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:11.360 me. If it wasn't for you too, I'd still have a full pussy 111 00:09:11.360 --> 00:09:16.960 of plastic. Okay, I'll help, But there's just one problem. What 112 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:20.720 I'm still very weak from surgery. I have an idea for that time. 113 00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:28.279 No, we have to thing the bad guys were already at the elevators waiting 114 00:09:28.320 --> 00:09:33.240 for the ride. Come on, where's this elevator? Hey all, what 115 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:37.759 the It's one of the doctors. But why is he standing on a stretcher 116 00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:41.960 with a naked woman with her legs open. I'll show you why. Just 117 00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:48.639 then, Time jumped up in on two cherries belly Life dark. The bad 118 00:09:48.679 --> 00:09:54.120 guys ducked behind many stritcha. Holy shit, she's locked and loaded. What 119 00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:05.039 do we do, boss, fire? Time jumped quick on Cherry's belly, 120 00:10:05.240 --> 00:10:16.720 even doing a little Irish dance. I'm going as fast as I can. 121 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:22.120 The bad guy known as Carlson was hit right in the eye and slammed against 122 00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:26.720 the fire extinguisher, his head split in two on the sharp edge. Fo 123 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.039 we got them pinned down, get up and moved me forward. I thought 124 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:37.559 you needed my belly pushes, Not anymore. I can do this one on 125 00:10:37.600 --> 00:10:41.120 my own. Matt bab here, I come. Hell yeah. Then Time 126 00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:46.639 jumped down and pushed the stretcher forward as Cherry Blossom continued to fire ping pong 127 00:10:46.759 --> 00:10:54.120 balls. Worst case, he's got to get Nurse Betty right here. Tennis 128 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:58.120 balls. Case slid around the corner with the man's ass up in the air. 129 00:10:58.600 --> 00:11:01.919 He was pressing the man's stomick from beneath. You are right, Time, 130 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:11.440 you are right. Both kiss and time approached rambles. Both a tennis 131 00:11:11.480 --> 00:11:16.159 ball and pink pop ball hit the bad guy Sam in his eyes with such 132 00:11:16.200 --> 00:11:22.879 a fuss his eyes literally exploded. It was as you would say, Gonali, 133 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:33.879 No, I jumped up, firing wildly. Ry listen for you, 134 00:11:35.080 --> 00:11:43.600 mom. Cherry spun around onto her stomach and fired from behind. Ah, 135 00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:52.240 it went right through Al's fucking skull. Jesus Christ. You okay, Nurse 136 00:11:52.279 --> 00:11:58.200 Betty, I am now that was some fine shooting. Cherry, thank you 137 00:11:58.279 --> 00:12:11.519 so much. I'm just glad I could help. What's going on here? 138 00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:16.320 It turned out that the bad Guys were a notorious gang that robbed several banks 139 00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:22.519 and murdered three victims. When Money woke up, they gave him the electric 140 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:26.679 chair. The cop doctors were torn because they spent so much time saving his 141 00:12:26.799 --> 00:12:31.799 life only to have him electrocuted. But hey, he was the bad guy, 142 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:37.000 so whatever. Cherry Blossom went back to stripping, but decided to give 143 00:12:37.120 --> 00:12:41.960 ping pong bowls a break. Gary, the guy with the ass, divorced 144 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:46.679 his thinn style wife and married a skateboarder. He cheated on her too, 145 00:12:46.720 --> 00:12:52.799 and well, his asses even wider. Now. Nurse Betty eventually went back 146 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:58.639 to nursing and the cop doctors well, they went back to being extremely fucking 147 00:12:58.720 --> 00:13:18.120 off. Some Coup Doctor Cop Doctors Written by Robert M. Lamb, Edited 148 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:24.720 by Amber Simpson and Robert M. Lamb, starring Jack Austin as Justin Case 149 00:13:24.440 --> 00:13:31.519 and Robert M. Lamb as Justin Times. Co starring Daniel Ketchum Hope, 150 00:13:31.679 --> 00:13:37.799 Ennis Ashley Yorke, Frett Wilkins, and Kim. Music provided by Kevin McCloud 151 00:13:37.879 --> 00:13:43.159 of incompetech dot com. If you enjoy this podcast, don't forget to rate 152 00:13:43.159 --> 00:13:48.559 and review and visit www dot seven lamb dot com for more podcasts such as 153 00:13:48.559 --> 00:14:00.840 this one. This has been a seven live production.