Hey, Hey, I'm back with something for you to think about. So,
if you haven't noticed, I've changed my podcast times now I'm podcasting on
Mondays and Thursdays. I'm trying to see if you're gonna make a difference.
It may not, we'll see. Today I'm here talking about individuals who are
in relationships and remaining in those relationships because they would rather be in those relationships
than by themselves. Now, believe it or not, which you don't have
to believe most people in the world, I believe according to different people.
I've talked to different people, I've canceled. I mean, looking at people
in their relationships, I believe that most relationships are unhappy, in unhealthy relationships.
I just do. I think there's a lot of evidence to support that,
just in how miserable people are. People are so miserable in their relationships,
and I think that's the saddest thing, because no one has to be.
No one has to be a lot of people would rather stay in their
unhappy places because they would rather be there than alone. The reason a lot
of people are this way is because, as I always say, the person
that's neglected the most itself. People look more to other individuals to comfort them,
to make them feel good, to make them happy. Then they do
trying to understand why they are not happy within themselves. If you're not happy
within yourself, you cannot be happy by yourself. People know it. They
know they don't love self. They know they have all of these insecurities.
They know they have lack of confidence and self esteem, they don't believe in
themselves. All of these things are going on, just tons of insecurities,
and people know that about themselves, and that's why so many people don't want
to be alone. That's also why people relationship hop. They don't like being
by themselves. If you cannot love you, buy yourself and enjoy a long
time, you have a really serious issue. And I guarantee you your mindset
is your worst enemy. So many people don't believe that, but we living
proof every single day. We all see living proof. People are unhappy.
You can see it on your jobs, you can see it in your churches,
you can see it in your clubs, you can see it on your
teens. I mean, people are unhappy, and so many take that misery
everywhere they go, projecting it. We see it on the road rage.
I mean people get angry, very angry over the most smallest thing, but
it's huge in their mind. I remember that I was going to a location
on the base and me and this person turned at the same time, but
from different directions, and we were both heading to the same place, and
I saw that he got there a little bit before me, so I parked
on the opposite side because it's no big deal to me. It's just a
parking space. And he was like, well, you know, I didn't
know if you were going to get upset. I said no, I said,
I'm not that type of person. That was a very small issue,
but it could have been really bad if it was someone else, because people
project all of their anger that's coming from with the doing little situations like that.
And I said that because a lot of you have that mindset because you've
never allowed yourself to heal from whatever it is. Whatever it was, you
have not allowed yourself to heal. Therefore, you're taking all of this stuff
inside that's unresolving. You just holding on to it. And that's why many
of you are in the relationships you're in because you fear being alone, and
you fear being alone because you created the fear in you you let it grow.
You created the belief that you can't be by yourself. We do these
things to ourselves. People have the mindsets they have because of the experience they
gone through. You don't have to stay on that path. You don't have
to keep that negative mindset. You always have the opportunity to change. Every
single day that you get to live is an opportunity to change. People just
don't take it. They don't take it, and you wonder why you're suffering.
You're tormented, you're miserable in your relationships. It is because you don't
have any faith, confidence, or love for yourself in yourself, so you
would rather stay in a relationship some of you know, the other person don't
love you, they don't even care about you, but you don't care.
As long as they come home sometime. You're all right. As long as
they come home, you all right. It's like really being in the house
with a roommate because most people they don't sleep together, they don't do anything
together, they don't enjoy each other at all. But you would rather stay
in that environment because you're afraid to be alone. So people use a multitude
of excuses as to why they stay. Older children people still talking about the
children. And the children are grown and gone, they have their own children,
but you're still talking about the children. So now that your children are
grown, now you're talking about your grandchildren. Well, I do what I
do because of my grandchildren. You use that excuse for all the years when
your children were growing up. Now you using the excuse of your grandchildren.
No, it's not your grandchildren, it's you. Your grandchildren don't even stay
in the house with you. It's you, you and your insecurities, because
to you, it's better to stay where you are than to start over or
to be by yourself, when you're already technically by yourself. Right now,
although you have someone in the home with you, technically you're by yourself.
You're just as lowly. Some of you are falling in love with other men
and women because you have nothing going on at home. That's not right,
That is absolutely not right. You don't have the courage in yourself to move
on, but you have the courage to get into a relationship outside of the
relationship you already have, or at least try to get in a relationship.
You have that much confidence, but you don't have confidence to believe that you
can make it and be happy by yourself. That's why I say all the
time, the mindset of people is their worst enemy. It truly is.
People are so caught up, focused and fixated on fear and insecurities, not
even realizing how it's secure they are. They don't see it when it's you.
You don't see it. You see it in other people, but you
don't see it in yourself. You don't se see what your insecurities are doing
to you. It's like you're just reliving over and over and over a cycle.
You continue to be miserable. You're not trying to work on your relationship.
It's a difference. It's a total difference if you were trying to work
on your relationship to make your relationship better. But most people are not.
They are just there out of insecurity, out of the familiar. That's what
you know, regardless of how bad you feel. That's what you know.
That's what you're comfortable with. You're comfortable with the negativity. You're comfortable with
the no communication, the no intimacy, You're comfortable with all of that.
You don't like it, you loan for it, but you're comfortable in not
having it with your significant other because you've been that way so long. I
think that is horrible. I really do, I really do. And I
know some people feel well, when you're married, you don't supposed to divorce
and all of this and that, and you other Bible speaks of that.
But the Bible also speaks certain instances where you can leave your spouse. And
I'm not sitting here promoting anybody leave their relationship. I'm promoting your happiness.
That's what I'm promoting, your happiness, because when you're not happy within nothing
or no one is gonna make you happy. I've told you many times.
People could put a smile on your face. Things could put a smile on
your face, but they will not make you happy. Only happiness is through
Christ, Jesus and yourself. You gotta love yourself. And when you love
yourself, you will not make yourself suffer. You will not cause yourself torment.
You will not cause yourself unhappiness and brief pain and a place of no
peace. You won't do that to yourself. Not When you know who you
are, you love yourself, You've healed from your past pains. Most people
don't give themselves the opportunity because they're too complacent. They're too comfortable in where
they've always been mentally, and it is the very reason people stay where they
are. The reason I'm talking about this now, although I talk about it
all the time, is I was listening to someone that was telling me that
what's the point of starting over? I have everything you don't though. You
don't have happiness, you don't have love, you don't have affection, you
don't have anything, None of the things that are required in a healthy relationship,
you have none of it. All you have is a person that you
see from time to time. You see them, they come to get something
to eat, they use the bathroom, whatever the situation is. But you're
not interacting with that person, but you're afraid you won't have it any better
than that. That is the mindset to have people thinking like that, and
by all means, it's your choice. You could stay where you have been
until you one hundred plus years old. That's on you. But just no,
it's never ever going to get better by you continue to do what you
do. If you wanna stay in your relationship, in your unhealthy, your
unhappy relationship, at least try to work on it. You owe yourself that
there is no reason to be with someone out of fear, out of lack.
When I say lack of mean self esteem and confidence. There's no reason
to stay with some person if you are not trying to work on your relationship.
If you're gonna stay, at least try to fix things. You can't
make anyone love you, You can't fix, save or change them. But
if you're gonna remain in that relationship, at least try to make it work.
And you have to do that by communicating. Some of you are in
relationships and you have gotten closer to the Lord. But because your significant other
don't go to church, you stop. Please tell me where that makes sense,
because you gotta make it to heaven for yourself. You can't drive your
spouse alone or your boyfriend or girlfriend alone into heaven. You gotta get there
for yourself, just like they have to get there for themselves. People just
doing it all the wrong way. You're supposed to love Christ, God more
than anything, Jesus the Soul, and God the Father more than anything,
more than anyone. If your significant other don't want to go, you still
should go because it's for you and your salvation, not theirs. You go
and may bring them in, but again it may not. Don't lose your
seat in the kingdom because your significant other don't want to come on in.
It's ignorant to do that. And in truth, you don't love Jesus,
you don't love God. If you're making your choice be about your significant other.
So some of you would rather stay and go down the same pit as
your significant other, which is ridiculous, it really is. But this is
the choice that some people are making. You rather go right on down to
the pit of hell with him or her, then to go on this journey
for yourself. It's a personal journey. It is a solo journey. I
don't care if you or with someone and they are about our father's business.
This is still a solo journey because I don't care how much you love him
or her, how much they love you, how close you are, how
good your relationship is. This journey is still solo. But when you've got
somebody that loved God and is living for God, it's about God's business.
Oh baby, make it so good. It make it so good. It
really does. You're on the same accord. You can't beat that. But
many people are missing the mark because they're waiting on their significant others to get
on board. You're messing up, You messing up, and you're risking your
life, your salvation, and no man or woman is worth that. So
people stay in relationships for a lot of reasons, a lot of reasons,
but none of those reasons, regardless of what they are, is going to
fix your relationship. The only people can help with your relationship is you and
the person that's in it with you. Even if you love the Lord and
they don't, and you pray and you pray and you pray, prayer works,
but that other person still gotta want it. We don't get to force
them to do right. We don't get to do that. God don't even
do it to us. So we don't have that ability for the ones we
love. They have to want it for themselves. Some of you have built
up so much fear in your lives. It's just ridiculous, ridiculous, it
really really is. Fear comes from you. I don't care what you've seen
or what you hear. Fear comes from you. I remember when I was
little, and I think I mentioned this a while ago, like maybe years,
I was so afraid of spiders, and I know I was because my
Mom didn't like spiders, and I used to see how she reacts, so
I adopted and adapted to that behavior. Petrified a spiders. I mean,
I was so bad. I couldn't look at them in a book, on
TV or none of that. But I got to a point that I said,
you know what, this is ridiculous. I'm looking at the spider on
the TV. What I think he gonna do to me? He can't jump
off the TV, you know what I'm saying. I look at a spider
in a book and I'm like, Okay, it's just paper. Oh it
looks creepy, but it's just paper. So I learned to desensitize myself and
I got that message out of my head. Do I like spiders now or
no? But I tell you what, I'm nothing like I was, and
I will get rid of them if I see them now. You know,
I'm not running and all of that. So I comfort that that fear because
it was I who cultivate and developed that fear in me. And that's how
fear grows. We cultivate it, we allow for it to grow. The
more power you give to something, the more power it has, and the
more power it has, the more it can affect you in your life.
So when you allow fear to keep you in a bad place, only you
can change that, only you. If you wanna live your life out miserable
and unhappy, that is your choice. But the excuses you make it's not
gonna do anything for you but keep you in that same negative mindset. And
like I said, I'm not here promoting anybody leaving their relationship unless you're being
abused. But what I'm saying is if you're gonna stay where you're really unhappy,
at least try to make it work. I don't believe in trying to
make it work with an abuser, someone who's bopping you upside your head or
abusing you emotionally, physically, all kind of ways. No no, no,
no m M under no circumstance. I'm talking about just normal relationships where
people have nothing going on, nothing at all. People are miserable, miserable,
miserable, miserable, miserable, but they choose to remain where they are.
So that's all I'm gonna say. It's your life, you do it
your way. I just hope and pray that people choose better for themselves.
We all see what's going on in this world, all the craziness, all
of the the evil, the wickedness, the heartless, the cold hearts.
We see it all, we see it all. Why would you want to
cause yourself unnecessary pain and suffering? Because it's self inflicted. It's self inflicted
because every day you get a choice to change, and if you don't take
that opportunity, that's on you. It's totally on you. So that's all
I'm saying. I'm leaving it right there, Thank you for listening. Much
love to each and every one of you in every episode the same. And
I hope and I pray you stop making excuses in your life because it it.
It does you no good, there's no benefit to it. I hope
and I pray that you do it. And that is think on it.