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Let's Talk the Things. Now, grab your tea, coffee, or a
glass of wine and let's talk the Things. Hello everyone, and welcome to
another episode of Let's Talk the Things. This week, I want to discuss
a topic that affects so many of us, the impact of the beauty industry
on women's self worth. Now, let's be real for a moment. Right,
we live in a world where the beauty industry has a colossal influence on
our lives, especially as women. Right, we're bombarded with these messages telling
us how we should look. You know, what we should put on our
face, what products we need to buy, and how we can quote unquote
fix our so called flaws. Right, so, it's not really surprising that
our sense of self worth often gets entangled with our parents. You know,
our how media, you know, our publications portray how we should look.
But here's the thing. Beauty should never be about conforming to someone else's standards
nine times or to tend the people making the decisions don't even fit the standards
that they're perpetuating a lot of times, right, So it's important to know
that true beauty starts from within. And I know it sounds cliche, but
it is so true. And I think it's time that we, really,
especially in our community as Caribbean people, shine a light on the power of
self acceptance, self love and embracing our unique qualities. You know, comparithon
is a theme of joy that is not just a saying for no reason.
It is because you compare yourself to one person, they're comparing themselves to somebody
else, and it's just like a train that never stops, you know,
So you should embrace your own beauty just the way that you are. A
friend shared with me recently that she started limiting her social media because she felt
like she was indirectly being convinced that she didn't have enough, you know,
didn't have enough lipstick, enough mascara, the latest palette, you know,
the suncare that promises you you'll resemble your prep school skin texture. And she
decided it was best for her to limit her time, as I said,
on social media because she just felt that indirectly, as I said, those
messages were always being sent and it really prompted me to do this episode because
I thought, wow, that's something I don't think about. But I had
to stop and say, how many things have I purchased, especially beauty things
that nine times aldo ten I didn't need because I saw it on you know,
fenty skin, or I saw it on one of the other skincare or
makeup lines that I follow, or may have come on my timeline. And
in one instance, it's good because you want to try new things. Maybe
the thing you try or that your influenced quote unquote to try is a thing
that's going to help your skin, right, because we do need a little
help. Yes, beauty starts on the inside. But we'll get into later
on some of my favorite products or different things that I do, you know,
to keep my skin clear, glowing or things like that, because we
do need a little help. But the important part is number one, you
have your own standard, and then number two or maybe tie for number one,
just as important. You know, you realize that it comes from within,
and it's not only within as though, like how you feel about yourself,
how you carry yourself, your thoughts, you know, surrounding yourself with
positive people. All of those things will talk about, but it's also what
you put into your body. You know a lot of times people will say,
oh, I stopped eating dairy, or I stopped eating this certain food,
and I noticed my skin cleared up. And in addition to that,
another thing that I thought was interesting regarding beauty standards are all they're so different
when it comes to aging for different genders. So for men, men are
quote unquote allowed to age. You know, it's it's said a lot of
times. Oh, you know, I love when a man has like a
salt and pepper beard, or he looks like more experienced, you know what
I mean. So my question is why is it that women are expected to
do everything not to age, while men are praised for aging and revered when
their grades begin to creep in. And that has no bearing on the whole
gender argument because we're just here. We didn't make up you know, eight
men being able to be accepted aging and women not. But it has a
lot to do with beauty industry standards, right because I will see several magazines,
advertisements, several TV commercials, and you'll see you know, older looking
men, but they're presented in this like, you know, handsome way,
this gentleman weigh manly, but you see women and it's like, oh,
I use this to fix my wrinkles. Now I look thirty years younger.
You know, you rarely see commercials with women embracing their age or being able
to embrace their age. So that's more along the lines of why is that
a double standard? Right? And it's something that, like I said,
has been going on for time, but it really makes you question why that
is a thing. And it also makes me question regarding beauty standards. Could
that be why the skincare industry doesn't focus on men. I mean, most
men I know have prep school skin and they use bar soap. But yet,
as women, you can't open a magazine, Instagram or enter a CBS
without seeing at least twenty thirty different products all promising the same thing to make
you look twenty to thirty years younger. Why is that big, big,
big question? Mark, Let's talk about beauty secrets that cannot be bought in
the beauty aisle. Inner piece. When you feel good inside, it reflects
in your skin. It reflects how you show up. You know, how
you're dressed, how you carry yourself. Inner piece is so important. So
although there's a lot of things that can disrub up to our peace that are
not in our control, and even some things that are in our control,
but sometimes, you know, maybe we just don't want to deal with it
in that moment, right, so we're kind of choosing choosing war and not
peace. Right, You're going to realize that that's going to show up in
how you look. You might look a little more tired, you might you
know, your skin might be a little bit more inflamed than usual, maybe
some redness. All of that is because that's coming from within. So as
much as you can help it to try to maintain steady inner peace, that
is, you know, first and foremost. Maybe I should call this beauty
tips, not secrets. Yeah, beauty tips in our beauty tips. I
don't know what's alcoholed this section. But anyway, healthy foods that is,
it's kind of subjective because there are a lot of people that are vegetarian and
they eat to fool and things that aren't really meat and they're processed and that's
not necessarily healthy in my humble opinion, because it's still processed food. Right,
So whatever, when you do your research, whatever you deem healthy for
you and for your body, you know, and that you see is giving
you nutrients, or that you know is giving your nutrients. Maybe see a
nutritionists. Maybe you know, speak to your doctor. I know there's some
type of like blood type food plan out there, like they're all kinds of
things, but do your research and choose healthy foods. Of course, exercise,
you know, there's all kinds of studies that show exercise gives you endorphins
and you know, helps you look better and you know, keeps your skin
glowing, and it's just overall great for you. Cultivating your surroundings, So
that's that kind of goes back to what I said regarding in our Peace choosing
your surroundings. Your surroundings as much as you can. Your surroundings directly reflect
how you feel about yourself. If you're around somebody that's constantly berating you and
constantly making you feel bad about yourself, that's going to show up in how
you look sometimes. You know, if you are surrounded by people that you
know, when you're happy, they're not happy for you, or when you're
happy, it's like they want to bring you down. You can never just
be fully yourself. That's also not good because then you know you're gonna sulk
you're not gonna really want to show up as you are because you know you're
gonna hear something negative. So try to cultivate your surroundings removing bad energy.
Similar thing, what does a song say when I see my friends become my
enemies? I have stay far no link noper. Yeah, paying attention to
red flags and we did some ig questions about that, so we'll read that
a little bit later. If you think about how difficult it is for you
to change yourself, you'll quickly realize you'll have no luck changing another person.
And don't get me wrong, we've all been there, like raise his hand,
where you think, oh, if I just do this, if I
just you know, say this this way, if I just act this way,
then maybe. But the truth is, and I'm sure we've all learned
and are still learning, that someone can only change if they want to change.
So I do believe people can change, but they can only change if
they want to change. So don't exert energy, is what I'm getting at.
Trying to, you know, make someone change, and therefore not paying
attention, not adhering to red flags because you think you can make them change.
That's stressful. Stress causes wrinkles that now sounds safe. Notice when people's
voice or tone changes when you talk about good news, which is literally similar
to what I just said. You tell somebody something good and they're like,
oh okay, they can't get excited for you, And now I'm saying they
have to do like a jumping jack or jump up and down. But you
can tell when somebody is not happy for you, So stay away from those
people. Trust your intuition. It is not yas it is there for a
reason. And remember there are three things in life that do not lie tights,
your intuition and children. Now, we can't explore beauty standards without acknowledging
the influence of culture. So before we get started on the Caribbean, take
India for example, where fairness, lighter skin tone has been glorified and equated
with success for a very long time. They have a brand in India called
fair and Lovely. Now, fair and Lovely is a brand in India that
perpetuates the idea that fair skin is the only standard of beauty. And anyone
that is familiar with Bollywood or you know, is of Indian descent, would
know. When you watch those movies, the main character the main woman,
the beautiful woman is always lighter skinned. It's ingrained in society. Even through
film, through news publications, through magazines, You're always going to see that
person of a lighter skin tone, a skin tone, excuse me. So
having a product like that, you're literally telling the public, the citizens,
that fair skin equals beauty, and that's just not true. I know several
persons of Indian descent that are of a darker skin tone and are beautiful.
But what must it be like growing up in that culture and having that be
the standard and you're not fair skin? You know, And again that's something
unfortunately that's all too familiar around the world. We definitely have that problem in
the Caribbean. We we certainly have that problem in Jamaica. You know,
that's something that I think is a worldly problem that to me directly correlates with
the beauty industry. And let's not forget, like I said, with Jamaica,
the bleaching epidemic in Jamaica, where persons feel the pressure to lighten their
skin in order to fit into society's narrow definition of not only beauty, but
who is thought to be able to get certain jobs. There's still that mindset
that's if you're a certain complexion, you know you can't work at the bank.
You know you can't work, and that's that's I don't think that that's
still true because I've seen plenty of women in higher positions in Jamaica at the
banks, you know, that are of darker skin tone. But it was
once an issue in Jamaica, and I think because of that, there's still
kind of that dynamic maybe in some sectors, or there's still that kind of
mindset for some people that is discriminatory based on the tone of their skin,
their skin tone. We're slowly getting there, I think in twenty twenty when
it was a really big thing inclusivity that really spearheaded um, you know,
like Sophora having like a black owned section, and that really made that a
thing, which I think is definitely a step in the right direction. Well,
I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed this episode. I hope it makes you
rethink those beauty standards that maybe you grow up with where you live, or
is embedded in your culture, or beauty standards that you may have put on
yourself unknowingly, you know, and realize that you are beautiful just the way
you are, and perhaps I would challenge you because I think I'm going to
participate in it to do what my friend did, you know, whether it's
take a break from social media or just maybe mute or unfollow for a period
of time, certain accounts that encourage you to keep buying different products and just
see how it affects you, you know, see how it affects your spending,
See how it affects your need or desire to have the latest makeup or
skincare product. Because I think a lot of times we are overexposed to these
things and don't even realize what it's embedding in our heads, you know,
So just know that, yes, we all can use a little face cream,
a little suncare, a little repnol or whatever it is you use to
enhance what you have, or perhaps you use items as treatments for certain issues
you have, you know, with your skin, that's completely fine, right,
we need a little help along the way. However, the idea is
that is not going to be the end all be all. You need to
have inner peace, that is number one, you know, take care of
yourself wellness. It's very important when it comes to how you appear on the
outside. Right, Because, as we said, how you feel on the
inside is very reflective on the outside, not only your skin and how it
affects that, but even your confidence level and the way that you show up.
So that's first and foremost, and then what you put in your body,
so you know, maybe focus on those things rather than getting the latest
makeup or skin care product. So let's try that. Let's try that for
a week and see how that goes. I'm going to do it with you
guys and let me know, send me messages as you guys typically do,
and let me know if it changes anything. I mean, maybe you won't
see a huge change in a week, but maybe you will. You know,
I'd be very interested to hear. So I hope you guys have an
amazing rest of your week at whichever point you listen to this, and I
will see you next time.