WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:06.160 If you're listening to the podcast on Apple Podcast, please remember to rate and 2 00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:11.880 leave a comment below. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at 3 00:00:12.000 --> 00:00:16.480 Let's Talk the Things. Now, grab your tea, coffee, or a 4 00:00:16.519 --> 00:00:22.719 glass of wine and let's talk the Things. Hello everyone, and welcome to 5 00:00:22.760 --> 00:00:28.559 another episode of Let's Talk the Things. This week, I want to discuss 6 00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:34.719 a topic that affects so many of us, the impact of the beauty industry 7 00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:40.280 on women's self worth. Now, let's be real for a moment. Right, 8 00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:45.880 we live in a world where the beauty industry has a colossal influence on 9 00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:51.640 our lives, especially as women. Right, we're bombarded with these messages telling 10 00:00:51.719 --> 00:00:55.799 us how we should look. You know, what we should put on our 11 00:00:55.840 --> 00:00:59.840 face, what products we need to buy, and how we can quote unquote 12 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:06.120 fix our so called flaws. Right, so, it's not really surprising that 13 00:01:06.599 --> 00:01:11.920 our sense of self worth often gets entangled with our parents. You know, 14 00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:17.239 our how media, you know, our publications portray how we should look. 15 00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:23.000 But here's the thing. Beauty should never be about conforming to someone else's standards 16 00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:29.680 nine times or to tend the people making the decisions don't even fit the standards 17 00:01:29.680 --> 00:01:34.920 that they're perpetuating a lot of times, right, So it's important to know 18 00:01:34.120 --> 00:01:38.640 that true beauty starts from within. And I know it sounds cliche, but 19 00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:45.359 it is so true. And I think it's time that we, really, 20 00:01:45.640 --> 00:01:51.280 especially in our community as Caribbean people, shine a light on the power of 21 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:59.280 self acceptance, self love and embracing our unique qualities. You know, comparithon 22 00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:02.079 is a theme of joy that is not just a saying for no reason. 23 00:02:02.519 --> 00:02:07.199 It is because you compare yourself to one person, they're comparing themselves to somebody 24 00:02:07.240 --> 00:02:10.479 else, and it's just like a train that never stops, you know, 25 00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:19.520 So you should embrace your own beauty just the way that you are. A 26 00:02:19.639 --> 00:02:24.840 friend shared with me recently that she started limiting her social media because she felt 27 00:02:24.919 --> 00:02:30.199 like she was indirectly being convinced that she didn't have enough, you know, 28 00:02:30.680 --> 00:02:37.400 didn't have enough lipstick, enough mascara, the latest palette, you know, 29 00:02:38.560 --> 00:02:45.319 the suncare that promises you you'll resemble your prep school skin texture. And she 30 00:02:45.400 --> 00:02:47.360 decided it was best for her to limit her time, as I said, 31 00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:52.960 on social media because she just felt that indirectly, as I said, those 32 00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:57.879 messages were always being sent and it really prompted me to do this episode because 33 00:02:57.879 --> 00:03:00.400 I thought, wow, that's something I don't think about. But I had 34 00:03:00.439 --> 00:03:05.439 to stop and say, how many things have I purchased, especially beauty things 35 00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:09.120 that nine times aldo ten I didn't need because I saw it on you know, 36 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:15.840 fenty skin, or I saw it on one of the other skincare or 37 00:03:15.919 --> 00:03:19.759 makeup lines that I follow, or may have come on my timeline. And 38 00:03:20.159 --> 00:03:23.080 in one instance, it's good because you want to try new things. Maybe 39 00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:27.960 the thing you try or that your influenced quote unquote to try is a thing 40 00:03:27.960 --> 00:03:30.520 that's going to help your skin, right, because we do need a little 41 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:32.919 help. Yes, beauty starts on the inside. But we'll get into later 42 00:03:34.039 --> 00:03:38.960 on some of my favorite products or different things that I do, you know, 43 00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:42.199 to keep my skin clear, glowing or things like that, because we 44 00:03:42.240 --> 00:03:46.120 do need a little help. But the important part is number one, you 45 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:50.759 have your own standard, and then number two or maybe tie for number one, 46 00:03:50.800 --> 00:03:53.159 just as important. You know, you realize that it comes from within, 47 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:57.759 and it's not only within as though, like how you feel about yourself, 48 00:03:57.759 --> 00:04:01.639 how you carry yourself, your thoughts, you know, surrounding yourself with 49 00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:05.120 positive people. All of those things will talk about, but it's also what 50 00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:09.639 you put into your body. You know a lot of times people will say, 51 00:04:09.639 --> 00:04:12.479 oh, I stopped eating dairy, or I stopped eating this certain food, 52 00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:16.199 and I noticed my skin cleared up. And in addition to that, 53 00:04:16.439 --> 00:04:24.639 another thing that I thought was interesting regarding beauty standards are all they're so different 54 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:31.920 when it comes to aging for different genders. So for men, men are 55 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:38.199 quote unquote allowed to age. You know, it's it's said a lot of 56 00:04:38.199 --> 00:04:41.360 times. Oh, you know, I love when a man has like a 57 00:04:41.360 --> 00:04:46.120 salt and pepper beard, or he looks like more experienced, you know what 58 00:04:46.199 --> 00:04:50.360 I mean. So my question is why is it that women are expected to 59 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:58.240 do everything not to age, while men are praised for aging and revered when 60 00:04:58.279 --> 00:05:03.399 their grades begin to creep in. And that has no bearing on the whole 61 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:09.000 gender argument because we're just here. We didn't make up you know, eight 62 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:13.199 men being able to be accepted aging and women not. But it has a 63 00:05:13.240 --> 00:05:18.000 lot to do with beauty industry standards, right because I will see several magazines, 64 00:05:19.439 --> 00:05:26.120 advertisements, several TV commercials, and you'll see you know, older looking 65 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:30.000 men, but they're presented in this like, you know, handsome way, 66 00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:33.040 this gentleman weigh manly, but you see women and it's like, oh, 67 00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:36.480 I use this to fix my wrinkles. Now I look thirty years younger. 68 00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:42.000 You know, you rarely see commercials with women embracing their age or being able 69 00:05:42.040 --> 00:05:45.920 to embrace their age. So that's more along the lines of why is that 70 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:49.519 a double standard? Right? And it's something that, like I said, 71 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:55.199 has been going on for time, but it really makes you question why that 72 00:05:55.480 --> 00:06:00.360 is a thing. And it also makes me question regarding beauty standards. Could 73 00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.680 that be why the skincare industry doesn't focus on men. I mean, most 74 00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:10.319 men I know have prep school skin and they use bar soap. But yet, 75 00:06:10.439 --> 00:06:15.600 as women, you can't open a magazine, Instagram or enter a CBS 76 00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:23.160 without seeing at least twenty thirty different products all promising the same thing to make 77 00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:28.480 you look twenty to thirty years younger. Why is that big, big, 78 00:06:28.519 --> 00:06:35.079 big question? Mark, Let's talk about beauty secrets that cannot be bought in 79 00:06:35.120 --> 00:06:46.800 the beauty aisle. Inner piece. When you feel good inside, it reflects 80 00:06:46.839 --> 00:06:50.839 in your skin. It reflects how you show up. You know, how 81 00:06:50.879 --> 00:06:56.439 you're dressed, how you carry yourself. Inner piece is so important. So 82 00:06:57.439 --> 00:07:00.079 although there's a lot of things that can disrub up to our peace that are 83 00:07:00.199 --> 00:07:03.800 not in our control, and even some things that are in our control, 84 00:07:03.879 --> 00:07:08.360 but sometimes, you know, maybe we just don't want to deal with it 85 00:07:08.439 --> 00:07:13.519 in that moment, right, so we're kind of choosing choosing war and not 86 00:07:13.680 --> 00:07:16.959 peace. Right, You're going to realize that that's going to show up in 87 00:07:17.040 --> 00:07:20.680 how you look. You might look a little more tired, you might you 88 00:07:20.720 --> 00:07:25.800 know, your skin might be a little bit more inflamed than usual, maybe 89 00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:30.439 some redness. All of that is because that's coming from within. So as 90 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:36.120 much as you can help it to try to maintain steady inner peace, that 91 00:07:36.439 --> 00:07:41.199 is, you know, first and foremost. Maybe I should call this beauty 92 00:07:41.240 --> 00:07:45.279 tips, not secrets. Yeah, beauty tips in our beauty tips. I 93 00:07:45.319 --> 00:07:51.240 don't know what's alcoholed this section. But anyway, healthy foods that is, 94 00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:59.040 it's kind of subjective because there are a lot of people that are vegetarian and 95 00:07:59.079 --> 00:08:03.279 they eat to fool and things that aren't really meat and they're processed and that's 96 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:07.800 not necessarily healthy in my humble opinion, because it's still processed food. Right, 97 00:08:09.399 --> 00:08:13.240 So whatever, when you do your research, whatever you deem healthy for 98 00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.040 you and for your body, you know, and that you see is giving 99 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:20.240 you nutrients, or that you know is giving your nutrients. Maybe see a 100 00:08:20.319 --> 00:08:24.000 nutritionists. Maybe you know, speak to your doctor. I know there's some 101 00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:28.959 type of like blood type food plan out there, like they're all kinds of 102 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:35.600 things, but do your research and choose healthy foods. Of course, exercise, 103 00:08:35.559 --> 00:08:41.840 you know, there's all kinds of studies that show exercise gives you endorphins 104 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:45.840 and you know, helps you look better and you know, keeps your skin 105 00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:50.879 glowing, and it's just overall great for you. Cultivating your surroundings, So 106 00:08:50.960 --> 00:08:56.840 that's that kind of goes back to what I said regarding in our Peace choosing 107 00:08:56.840 --> 00:09:03.360 your surroundings. Your surroundings as much as you can. Your surroundings directly reflect 108 00:09:03.639 --> 00:09:11.120 how you feel about yourself. If you're around somebody that's constantly berating you and 109 00:09:11.559 --> 00:09:15.759 constantly making you feel bad about yourself, that's going to show up in how 110 00:09:15.840 --> 00:09:22.679 you look sometimes. You know, if you are surrounded by people that you 111 00:09:22.720 --> 00:09:26.039 know, when you're happy, they're not happy for you, or when you're 112 00:09:26.039 --> 00:09:28.679 happy, it's like they want to bring you down. You can never just 113 00:09:28.759 --> 00:09:33.440 be fully yourself. That's also not good because then you know you're gonna sulk 114 00:09:33.519 --> 00:09:37.159 you're not gonna really want to show up as you are because you know you're 115 00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:43.240 gonna hear something negative. So try to cultivate your surroundings removing bad energy. 116 00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:50.279 Similar thing, what does a song say when I see my friends become my 117 00:09:50.679 --> 00:09:58.720 enemies? I have stay far no link noper. Yeah, paying attention to 118 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.519 red flags and we did some ig questions about that, so we'll read that 119 00:10:05.600 --> 00:10:11.240 a little bit later. If you think about how difficult it is for you 120 00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:18.600 to change yourself, you'll quickly realize you'll have no luck changing another person. 121 00:10:18.960 --> 00:10:22.360 And don't get me wrong, we've all been there, like raise his hand, 122 00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:24.360 where you think, oh, if I just do this, if I 123 00:10:24.519 --> 00:10:28.799 just you know, say this this way, if I just act this way, 124 00:10:28.840 --> 00:10:31.440 then maybe. But the truth is, and I'm sure we've all learned 125 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:37.679 and are still learning, that someone can only change if they want to change. 126 00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:39.840 So I do believe people can change, but they can only change if 127 00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:43.679 they want to change. So don't exert energy, is what I'm getting at. 128 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:52.320 Trying to, you know, make someone change, and therefore not paying 129 00:10:52.320 --> 00:10:56.000 attention, not adhering to red flags because you think you can make them change. 130 00:10:56.080 --> 00:11:03.240 That's stressful. Stress causes wrinkles that now sounds safe. Notice when people's 131 00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:09.000 voice or tone changes when you talk about good news, which is literally similar 132 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:11.559 to what I just said. You tell somebody something good and they're like, 133 00:11:13.080 --> 00:11:16.440 oh okay, they can't get excited for you, And now I'm saying they 134 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:22.120 have to do like a jumping jack or jump up and down. But you 135 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:26.120 can tell when somebody is not happy for you, So stay away from those 136 00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:31.799 people. Trust your intuition. It is not yas it is there for a 137 00:11:31.879 --> 00:11:39.759 reason. And remember there are three things in life that do not lie tights, 138 00:11:41.240 --> 00:11:50.559 your intuition and children. Now, we can't explore beauty standards without acknowledging 139 00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:56.879 the influence of culture. So before we get started on the Caribbean, take 140 00:11:56.960 --> 00:12:05.399 India for example, where fairness, lighter skin tone has been glorified and equated 141 00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:11.399 with success for a very long time. They have a brand in India called 142 00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:18.279 fair and Lovely. Now, fair and Lovely is a brand in India that 143 00:12:18.480 --> 00:12:24.559 perpetuates the idea that fair skin is the only standard of beauty. And anyone 144 00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:30.919 that is familiar with Bollywood or you know, is of Indian descent, would 145 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:35.960 know. When you watch those movies, the main character the main woman, 146 00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:41.120 the beautiful woman is always lighter skinned. It's ingrained in society. Even through 147 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:48.480 film, through news publications, through magazines, You're always going to see that 148 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:52.759 person of a lighter skin tone, a skin tone, excuse me. So 149 00:12:52.840 --> 00:12:58.039 having a product like that, you're literally telling the public, the citizens, 150 00:12:58.039 --> 00:13:03.480 that fair skin equals beauty, and that's just not true. I know several 151 00:13:03.600 --> 00:13:09.120 persons of Indian descent that are of a darker skin tone and are beautiful. 152 00:13:09.919 --> 00:13:15.759 But what must it be like growing up in that culture and having that be 153 00:13:15.840 --> 00:13:20.480 the standard and you're not fair skin? You know, And again that's something 154 00:13:20.879 --> 00:13:26.919 unfortunately that's all too familiar around the world. We definitely have that problem in 155 00:13:26.960 --> 00:13:31.240 the Caribbean. We we certainly have that problem in Jamaica. You know, 156 00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:39.039 that's something that I think is a worldly problem that to me directly correlates with 157 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:43.600 the beauty industry. And let's not forget, like I said, with Jamaica, 158 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:48.639 the bleaching epidemic in Jamaica, where persons feel the pressure to lighten their 159 00:13:48.679 --> 00:13:54.480 skin in order to fit into society's narrow definition of not only beauty, but 160 00:13:56.240 --> 00:14:01.279 who is thought to be able to get certain jobs. There's still that mindset 161 00:14:01.320 --> 00:14:05.960 that's if you're a certain complexion, you know you can't work at the bank. 162 00:14:05.360 --> 00:14:09.080 You know you can't work, and that's that's I don't think that that's 163 00:14:09.159 --> 00:14:13.600 still true because I've seen plenty of women in higher positions in Jamaica at the 164 00:14:13.639 --> 00:14:16.559 banks, you know, that are of darker skin tone. But it was 165 00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:20.639 once an issue in Jamaica, and I think because of that, there's still 166 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:26.759 kind of that dynamic maybe in some sectors, or there's still that kind of 167 00:14:26.679 --> 00:14:33.720 mindset for some people that is discriminatory based on the tone of their skin, 168 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:41.639 their skin tone. We're slowly getting there, I think in twenty twenty when 169 00:14:41.639 --> 00:14:46.799 it was a really big thing inclusivity that really spearheaded um, you know, 170 00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:52.159 like Sophora having like a black owned section, and that really made that a 171 00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:56.519 thing, which I think is definitely a step in the right direction. Well, 172 00:14:56.720 --> 00:15:01.559 I hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed this episode. I hope it makes you 173 00:15:01.639 --> 00:15:05.200 rethink those beauty standards that maybe you grow up with where you live, or 174 00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:09.440 is embedded in your culture, or beauty standards that you may have put on 175 00:15:09.480 --> 00:15:15.399 yourself unknowingly, you know, and realize that you are beautiful just the way 176 00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:20.679 you are, and perhaps I would challenge you because I think I'm going to 177 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.679 participate in it to do what my friend did, you know, whether it's 178 00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:31.799 take a break from social media or just maybe mute or unfollow for a period 179 00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:37.039 of time, certain accounts that encourage you to keep buying different products and just 180 00:15:37.080 --> 00:15:39.799 see how it affects you, you know, see how it affects your spending, 181 00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:46.080 See how it affects your need or desire to have the latest makeup or 182 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:52.559 skincare product. Because I think a lot of times we are overexposed to these 183 00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:58.159 things and don't even realize what it's embedding in our heads, you know, 184 00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:02.759 So just know that, yes, we all can use a little face cream, 185 00:16:02.840 --> 00:16:07.600 a little suncare, a little repnol or whatever it is you use to 186 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:14.720 enhance what you have, or perhaps you use items as treatments for certain issues 187 00:16:14.720 --> 00:16:18.080 you have, you know, with your skin, that's completely fine, right, 188 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:22.080 we need a little help along the way. However, the idea is 189 00:16:22.519 --> 00:16:26.679 that is not going to be the end all be all. You need to 190 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.000 have inner peace, that is number one, you know, take care of 191 00:16:30.039 --> 00:16:33.679 yourself wellness. It's very important when it comes to how you appear on the 192 00:16:33.720 --> 00:16:37.639 outside. Right, Because, as we said, how you feel on the 193 00:16:37.720 --> 00:16:42.519 inside is very reflective on the outside, not only your skin and how it 194 00:16:42.639 --> 00:16:47.559 affects that, but even your confidence level and the way that you show up. 195 00:16:47.919 --> 00:16:51.080 So that's first and foremost, and then what you put in your body, 196 00:16:51.559 --> 00:16:56.559 so you know, maybe focus on those things rather than getting the latest 197 00:16:56.720 --> 00:17:03.559 makeup or skin care product. So let's try that. Let's try that for 198 00:17:03.600 --> 00:17:06.920 a week and see how that goes. I'm going to do it with you 199 00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:10.640 guys and let me know, send me messages as you guys typically do, 200 00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:14.319 and let me know if it changes anything. I mean, maybe you won't 201 00:17:14.319 --> 00:17:15.880 see a huge change in a week, but maybe you will. You know, 202 00:17:15.920 --> 00:17:19.759 I'd be very interested to hear. So I hope you guys have an 203 00:17:19.799 --> 00:17:25.279 amazing rest of your week at whichever point you listen to this, and I 204 00:17:25.359 --> 00:17:26.440 will see you next time.