Hello, and welcome everyone to the insanity that is the epic crossover of Discount
Dungeons from Afar and Know Your Role. Let's introduce the behind the screen team
editor Take it Away. Hi, everybody, my name is David Tilstra.
I am the DM from From a Far podcast and I've been helping Chris and
Nick here make this a delightful little mini series and super duper excited about what
these players are about to experience. Hey, yeah, I guess I'm up
next. My name's Nick and I am going to be assisting with this as
a as a backup co DM as well and trying to help coordinate the battle
maps on our virtual tabletop there in the background. So I'm very excited as
well. And I am your main YEM and storyteller Chris from Discount Dungeons.
I have braced myself for an enday mentally suffering at the hands and snags,
and my players wish me speed. And now let the players introduce themselves.
Hey guys, it's me Beans, your best friend from Know Your Role podcast,
and I'll be playing Holden Showers, a half orc barbarian who is an
old guy who's willing to learn some new Tricks to Holden is a half half
orc. He uh looks pretty fucking ugly. You gotta tell you he has
He has teal gray skin. He is absolutely jacked from his days of lifting
weights and participating in his fight club. Bald with a white goatee eyes.
I wrote little oceans you could drown in. Uh so he's got some beautiful
eyes apparently, and uh, you know, simple clothes, nothing fancy about
this guy. This guy's a worker and that's it. Hey, guys,
my name is Christian Spinella. I play Kip on from a Far podcast,
but today I'm playing Woozilium. Hefalumpigus Woozy to his friends. He's a He's
a very old gnome. Wizard. Woozy is an incredibly old and decrepit looking
forest gnome. He sports an oversized wizardy hat in the classical style, big
big white beard, coke bottled glasses that magnify his eyes to a ridiculous size,
a wooden staff that's a little bit taller than he is because he's he's
a shorty um. And you know, other than that, he's pretty old.
He wears like sweaters and a big cloak that's got lots of pockets for
like his quills and papers and stuff. He's usually got his book with him,
his spell book, and most of the time he forgets to put on
his shoes and can be seen wearing his slippers. Hello everyone, it's me
your favorite DM Joe from le podcast, the best podcast that exists. But
I'm not dming tonight. You have the absolute pleasure of experiencing my character,
Noachi the Butcher, who is a dragon born Barbarian. Noachi is a massive
ravenite dragon board, which appearance wise means no tail. He has blue scales
and coral all over his body, living coral from spending so much time underwater
at a long seaweed beard. He can shave it down, but it just
always grows back, so he just leaves it and is wearing a long butcher's
bib that is constantly bleeding somehow and is Holden's absolute best friend in the whole
world, damn wholesome. Hi, guys, this is Megan from Discounting Dungeons,
the Superior Podcast to all these other pools around here. Andy, I'm
counting on Yeah, we dropped the ball in. I am playing um Fae
tireless. She is a half elf paladin and also Death Domain cleric. The
Faye is, like I said before, she is a half elf. She's
half forest elf, so she has tans kind of bronzy skin. Her hair
is pink though that she dies on her own because she really likes the color
pink, which is humorous. Because she's a Death Domain cleric primarily, so
she wears. Her armor is blackish purple that kind of have the outlines of
bones on it to look like a skeleton. She's wearing um and she has
a bright pink cloak as well. Um. The other common or the noticeable
thing about Fae is she has a scythe strap to her back usually that the
headpiece is. It looks like a human skull and it does talk to the
end. It is goes by the name Umbra or Umbra. She is old
but doesn't look it. She's a middle aged elf. So do think of
that of what you will? Oh? No, baby, baby girl?
Next? Next? Oh man, Hey everyone, this is Andy Tilstra,
the Superior brother from FAP the Posterior Podcast. Um, so without a doubt,
Um you know me and and I'm I'm here, So Arius is my
name in FAP and I'm playing Najima, a leonin Monk Granola grandma who just
wants to have a fun time. Najima is a leonin, which is a
lion person, so she's more lyon than than human, but a lion humanoid
um draped in dark red and scarlet um clothing that is is very loose,
very airy um, just like her voice. And she doesn't wear shoes able
to assume, and she's got she's got nice brown eyes, She's got some
nice kind She's a middle age but more towards the later of the middle age.
And she has a few pouch around her waist that is filled with sand
because who doesn't want that. I imagine her as a mixture of Sarabi from
Lion King with the main character from Journey that like old video games. So
that's kind of the inspiration. I was going to love the imagery. Its
fantastic. Yeah, she's got great knees. She stole them from the bees.
She's got the bees knees. Jesus right, enemy of the bees.
I can't right, So I'm Vero. I am from Discount Dungeons, and
I'm not going to posture about how good our podcast is. I'm just that
confident. It's only insecure people that needs to posture. Normally I play Anastasia
the Blood Hunter, but today I will be playing Sebastian Smithe half elf,
adventurer, traveler, experience of life, and he is here for a good
time as well. Now is he the experience or is he here too experience?
Yes, he is a half elf. He still he's relatively young all
things considered. He is tall and slim. He has a dark hair,
it's slightly wavy, and he wears a headband to keep it out of his
eyes, and it is long and a ponytail. And he has an impeccably
groomed mustache that's the envy of everyone. Even dwarves have to admit that it
is an impressive stash. And he wears a gleaming breastplate and with a sort
of a flowing puffy shirt underneath, and the sleeves are fastened under decorative breezes,
and his pants are also loose and tucked into knee high cuffed boots.
And he is carrying with him a small shield, a quart of staff,
a loot, and a pipe set that is inside his pack. Vict and
that everyone is your lovely cast. And now we said into the story proper.
We find ourselves high in the sky on the anvil, the Floating Fortress
and the Stone Guardians, and they're associated guilt. Tonight is a night of
celebration, one of many in a long line. As we zoom further in
across and through Stone into the tavern as the thunderous ukulele run by ma a
interesting pair of goblins. Much mirth has been had in the past few days,
and it shows in the various tables, broken beer bottles, and unconscious
bodies. In the corner at the top of this four story tavern lie the
Mighty Storm Guardians, bringers of myth and legends. They sit quietly, drinks
in hand at their table, looking down at a pit fight, a new
recruit versus a massive troll. And now I leave it to the players.
Glug glug, glug another drink, of course, of course, of course,
A panicked barmaid says that she takes your empty flag and then darts down
the massive flight of stairs. Woozy is in the corner by the hearth,
fast asleep, but you see his spell book and his magical quill, and
there's a small astral looking dwarf holding the quill writing in the notebook while Lucy
snores. Is there a stage, there's a fighting pit. No stage.
The fighting pit is the stage. There anyone in the fighting pit? Well,
I just said there was someone on the Two people in the fighting pit.
Two people in the fighting pit. Okay, table I can stand on
top of. There are endless tables. Who was a big cavern? Yes,
the tavern itself is sixty feet in height before appears to be at least
eighty feet in diameter. I would like to be standing on top of my
table, playing my lute and regaling people with a wonderful story about the time
I had visited a coastline and a wonderful as a coastline, I think Nauma
would be like sitting like cross legged in front of um Sebastian is it Sebastian
or Sebastian is Sebastian It's Sebastian. Yeah, And I'm Najima is clearly just
like eating and everything you're saying like, oh wow, coastline, that's incredible,
and just listening with like just purpose and intent. I'm sure it was
like a really actual coastline, but I don't know the DMS map zero get
a quick line? Could we get a quick line from this ditty about the
coastline? Oh, the sky was wide and the sea so blue, But
in the distance I see yonder the ship's many and new beautiful. You're like
a furry clap, as like Najima is like now, as you are all
familiar with this tavern, there lies a map on the wall across from you
or the continent. It's itself, trophies splayed across it, your various conquests,
manticore heads, dragging heads, hydra's giants, and all sorts of monsters,
as well as a pair of boots between two various locations homage to a
mighty pilgrimage. I pointed this out in another game once. Wouldn't a mantic
course head just be a dude's head? Actually? No, A magic horse
features are a commombination of a lion and a man, and as an extended
jaw with lamperade like teeth and a mane of thick lion like hair. Thank
you, dungeon Master, just the only person I truly feel comfortable calling the
dungeon mass Rider my dungeon daddy, So just so I heard you correctly.
Did you say there's two poots? Boots? Oh, boots like things you
wear on your beat. Yes, I think we all know where those boots
came from. M Um, yes, yes we do. Woozy starts a
wig. I'm sorry, what what are we talking about? The boots?
I remember the boots, the boots that holding wall on his long jack.
Those are my best boots. Look at them? Oh yeah, those are
those are my boots. Here, go back here to drinking. Here there
on your feet. You're fine. It is clear to see that tons of
bottles and flagons stack around the tables, as this party has persisted for at
least the ten day. Once more the bar may returns, renewing the flagons
of the table and scampering away fear the mighty warriors, their legion spoken in
the floors below. Oh and he single handedly slew the dragon with his mighty
axe, and then, in a furious rage, he ran all the way
across the continent. You slept through like half of your own story. Oh
damn it, did I miss the good part? No, you got the
good part. Okay, I must have forgotten or must have missed this story.
What were you there? When for your time. Oh yes, I
am relatively new in the on the totem pole. But woozy, what were
you doing when this whole dragon was happening? Were you chronicling as usual?
No, some chronicling here, A little chronicling there. I believe I was
somewhere you all can remind me. No, you wasn't. I often the
cave, you know, dealing with other monsters that appeared heroically. I remember,
remember no Holden doing amazing shit. I remember you calling down a bunch
of fucking meteors like an asshole. That's right. Yeah again, my bad.
I don't know how many times I have to apologize. But you know
I have sworn off media swarm from you know at that moment. I haven't.
I swear I haven't casted it again. You know, I'm just ribbon
you old man. It was pretty cool. Oh thank you. Please don't
hurt you. No, it wasn't. We almost died. They didn't.
They didn't hit me. They didn't hit me either. They didn't hit my
friend Holden. I was never even close to death. But a bartender,
Can I get some tea? Perhaps? Oh? Well, I would like
some as well. Cammill always sets my tummy right. I will also have
some tea, but put alcohol at it, please, hot tie, I'll
have tea with alcohol, but without the tea. Do you have blue free
tea? Trendsettera tea is gluten free. Oh that's what they want you to
believe to you. Oh, no, you never know what this tea anyways?
Young man, young man, are you okay? You're just standing there.
You see the figure of an old goblin female. I guess he may
be young to Woozy, well known as Ma, the owner and proprietor of
the Thundering Ukulele, who has watched your ascension, all of you from initiate
to storm Guardian. Wow, she glares at you. Tea. Why but
I serve tea in my taren. I could have sworn that I've ordered tea
before. Because you're the mightiest magian guild, Woozy, we need exceptions.
I am still Are you sure, f Woozy you drank the last the tea
three days ago? Fine, I guess I'll just have to got And he
snaps his fingers, and then some leaves appear, and then uh age and
dry and then clearly come down upon your head. I was just saying how
much I could get away with. I was waiting for the godhammer to come
in creating free product in pie. Oh no, I swear I'm sorry,
mom, please don't hurt me, which was clearly back on her back,
gives you that glare of like that mother look like behave and proceeds to put
the food down on the table as she's like walking away. He like sighed
out of his mouth, turns to the like astral dwarf and he says,
did you get that barney? That was very good quality content? And it
kind of like it like rubs a hand over its forehead like it's wiping sweat
away, and it's like knots and looks a little exact spread, but then
keeps writing with its massive quill, how big were talking? But it is
proportional to him. He's probably about like, uh six inches tall, the
quill's probably you know, twelve. It's so cute. Oh my good news.
Yeah it's cute. It's cute. It's definitely cute. No Woozy passes
out again. Quick point of clarification, Um, Woozy, can other people
see this dwarf? Yeah? Okay, very nice. Yeah, he's also
a very old looking dwarf probably would you know, put him around the same
age as Woozy, which would be about three forty four hundred and forty five
is what I put. I believe so like he's knocking, he's knock knock
knocking on Heaven's door. I'm knock knocking. We can't use that. We
can't use that. Good five minutes in, We've already been sued, don't
I'll just edit this whole section out. M I have a question. A
yes, from my look Asian in the bar, can I like perfectly see
the fight? Yes, I have a good view of it. Okay,
the new bee is being torn a new one by this troll, much to
the cheer, the drunken cheers and people around with its edge. I will
lightly nudge the sights on my back and just ask Umbra, who do you
think's going to win the new beer of the troll? Well, to be
totally honest, the troll. But as you know, I've always kind of
hated this part of the guild, this for lack of a better word,
hazing of the of the new recruits, and it's just it's all good fun.
They'll be fine. Can you turn me away? I don't want to
look at this anymore. All Right, I'll turn it. You want to
go back to watching Woozy Sleep if it? Yeah, I don't want to
see this. This new guy get torn a new one. The holding comes
in and puts his arm around Umbra like like it's his best friend. This
shakes me back to my days in the fight club. This is incredib Aren't
you loving this umbra for you? Holding? I think, yes, I
could. I could get into this, but it's just not quite quite my
thing. Do do? Uh? It's umbra um like can we hear her?
Absolutely? You can. You can absolutely hear her? Okay, so
it's not like a mental length no no, like she like absolutely you can
hear the scythe talking cool cool hold How how long were you in the fighting
clubs for? Oh? Well, I started the fight club? Are you
my friends? Are you allowed to talk about that? I was in a
very small fight club and we were really looking for a lot of new members.
So the first rule of fight club was, please tell everyone you know
about our fight club. We're desperate for new members. I also want you,
guys to just picture that the fact that Holden is just like holding Faye
awkwardly talking to the side, and basis like so uncomfortable, slowly sipping her
ale and like trying to sign looking like the fight down below. It's just
as weird, very very breathy talking, and his breathast not smell good.
I'm amazing. I'm a piece of metal and I can even smell your breath
from here? Can you? Can you look away for a second? Yeah,
hold on, hold on, I'll go have some some rumplements or something
that should help. Yes, I think it might. Now for the audience,
you're holding, how many drinks you consume on this particular day of heavy
drinking? Oh, at this, at this particular moment, So Noachi and
Holden had a little drinking contest to begin, as they're known to do.
He's probably had about thirty beers. A constitution's taping through disadvantage. Please do
I need to make that too, because I would for sure be going beer
for absolutely Okay, plus eleven you're duck, dude, Fuck I hold it
two, it's a thirteen. I got a seventeen. Nawachi, You are
holding your liquor better than holding holding false all feeling in your legs. Join
the club holding what else? Is new. I would like to finish my
current song and bow to whoever is listening. Do I get any coppers?
Hold on, hold on, Sebastian, I gotta lay on this table like
I need you to move real quick. I gotta lay down. That's a
great it's a great show, great show, but I gotta lay down.
I'm sorry, Yes, yes, go have a good leg and I'll just
hop off the table with a little flourish Nagma throws you two gold from gold.
My dear has no understanding of I don't. I don't think she.
I think she has a understanding of currency, but like she thinks that's like
an okay, imouchesn'. I don't think she realizes how much is slightly equivalent
of showing you throwing somebody like two hundred bucks in their case. Just so
you are aware of, Sebastian, you are at the apex of the guild.
Everyone knews who you are. You are among the richest of members.
There's no need for them, okay you oh um najama. Still she still
gave me like golden was like clapping force of habit. I guess I'm so
used to performing Sebastian well I am going to sit down with my compatriots.
That was a wonderful song, Sebastian. Where did you learn I'm going British
US from Florida, United States? That's why I need to keep telling myself.
I'm not sure from Florida, United States, Sebastian. That was incredible
music. Where did you learn to play like that? Oh? From all
over the place. I have studied in so many different places, and I've
a lot of it. Hadn't talked? Oh that's wonderful. You deserve You
deserve more than just two gold. If they would like to roll an insight
check on that bullshit, please roll a no investigated, wouldn't insight insight?
Yeah that's actually this skill? Wow makes drunks that are way too strong.
Oh yeah yeah, Do I roll against it? Are you lying or maybe
I'm maybe? Maybe I am? Maybe I'm not. That's a thirteen for
my insight. Okay, Well, Pharaoh messages M if you're a lying or
not? Oh, keto key, I can do that all right. The
answer is do we have a bribe and think you can message me on one
of the many servers we have? Right? This is no? Yeah,
this is the parting critical role where Sam Rigal always talks about what who the
episode it was brought to you by UM, so I'll go ahead and chime
in here. The drink, the featured drink of tonight's episode, was brought
to us by none other than Good Fall of your our podcast. Yeah,
your Goo goo custom Uh designed a drink for us which I am currently drinking
the icy remnants of the same same Yeah right, the rump thump finish my
second one of it, and the DMS feeling the buzz. He's breaking his
own rule. That was your second one. These are very strong. All
right, I'm shotgunning the rest of these millers. Let's go, Fae.
It seems the bastion is incredibly truthful about his boast. Oh all right,
it's just one of those open mouth and like I just kind of like shrug
it off, like all right, pompous jackass, you are charming as always,
my dear, and I'm just gonna pinch your cheek and then got out
of the way before she hits me. I think Faye would even get umber,
would even get me mad at that. Na raises an eyebrow, but
like doesn't say anything. Faye, do you wish to retaliate the pinch.
No, okay, she's having a good time. She's enjoying the fight in
the food. So it's all right, that's fun. Not even Sebastian can
ruin her day? Would you like me? Though? In real life with
the character Holden's laying on the table holding I need you to make a dexterity
saving throw, which is does advente because you're drunk and laying on a table
without trying to remove things first, I gotta roll to stay on the table.
Unbelievable. No, no, it's how big of a mess you make
giving on the table. Oh, I can answer that for you right now.
Man. That's that's a that's a ten. Okay. So that's so
you knock off the fresh plate of eagle tenders in dragonfire sauce, you spill
on think of ale onto Fae, and you kick Nawatchee in the face.
What we're all sitting We're all we're all sitting at this table. This is
the one that Sebastian was just doing a dance on, and I politely requested
that you get off the table so I could lay on the table. Yes,
tell me that, you tell me there are eagle tenders while Sebastian was
dancing and just telling a great story. They were just put down after you
stopped dancing, before you pushed yourself onto the table. So it's like me
and the wait staff had just come at the same time and line, they
set it down and you immediately throw it off like a cat ties bro my
tendees? What what? What'd you say? Can I get another plate?
At tendees? You gotta speak up a very old what'd you say? Literally
screaming? Do I have any of my drink left? Chris? No,
it is fully in your lap. Oh dear, let me get that for
you don't like? And then I do press the diditation and clean you up?
Did us? Somebody orders some tendies? Oh my god? Yes?
You know old pop gotcha covered? Tell me everything about pop media imagin from
like the Polar Express. You know the guy that's like, all right you
kids, old fixture and dear partner to mom. He's a goblin of exceptional
age. But it sounds mind and kers nervous, okay, And I would
I would be very familiar with pop. Yeah, and you you definitely see
Joe as he's wearing like a long tattered vest with pockets all over it.
He just starts pulling chicken tendies out of the different monty, are you looking
for a buffalo a barbecue? I got some honey mustard down here. I'm
so glad to see you. You are so quick with the tendies, it's
amazing. Hey, Nalachi, my guy, my guy. Hey, everybody
check this out. And I just throw three of them up into the air,
like right towards Nachi's face. Oh do I need to roll something to
catch those bad boys in mouth? Sorry? How much alcohol? Are you
bad? Yes? If you want to deck check deck, save what you
want. Let's do slight of hand, but I'll let you see. I'll
let you use strength. Okay, so plus five? All right, slight
of mouth check. Here you go, yo twenty four? Baby? What
that mouth? Mouth? So almost as if out of an anime. His
eyes focus in time slows. Your mouth opens, the first one gone,
the second one gone, the third one gone, your neck moving just the
baramniums was short hits your lift and falls into your toothy barny mall and to
the rest of the table hears a stem. Millisecond has passed. Hey,
that's my Wachia. He always catches the chicken tendee pie. Hit me up
with some of that some of that fire dragon dipping sauce to wash those downloads.
Oh you know it. You know he just takes out like like from
on his pouch. He's just got like what looked like a bunch of potions
and he just like pops one of them open and just like he's got these
little full paper trays coming out of a little a little thing on his back.
I mean, he's just like a walking chicken tender distribute. Imagine him
like a one man band. Yeah, and he's like food and then the
music is chicken. He's just going around and he's just handing out chicken tendies.
He's got sweet poison, he's got I mean, he's got spicy's sweet
everything that you would want. Oh no, okay, yeah, I take
I take the hot sauce and down it like a shot. Hey there,
you regretting being vegan? There, Najima Nawachi. You just drank the equivalent
of Reaper pepper hot sauce. My fingers hovering over the con save just twitching
like a like you've got a like a showdown. That's a twenty seven problem.
Listen, in a couple of hours, you're gonna have to make that
con save again with the disadvantag Yeah, when I'm taking the worst o God,
can we please get a fire belch sound effect. I think Naji might
respond to Sebashi and be like, oh, they said they would have something
for me, but honestly, and she reaches into like a pouch around her
waist and pulls out some some oats and nuts. This is all I need.
Hey, Najima, Najima, you know, pause got you covered.
And he reaches deep deep into his pants. Oh you see him. He
pulls out what you what you think could maybe be a chicken tender. He
goes, I MA had me put together one of these uh tofu tendies for
you. I made an extra special for you. Hey, I got a
little bit of that granola you like in the bread aing. Oh No.
Najiba is disgusted by Pap, but she's like, she's also like a nice
person, so she's like okay with him. But she's like, oh um
pop like stifles like a disgust. Yeah, go ahead and go ahead to
eat it. I want to see the look of joy on your face as
you eat to Tandy, I made you. She extends like like a like
a a like a clawed hand and like picks it up with just like her
claws, and she kind of holds it that She kind of looks at pond
gives one of those like teefee smiles that like a cat can get just as
you're out to teeth on this. I can't believe I'm saying this granola breaded
tofu tendy I my soul. Don't forget it came from PA's pants. Yeah,
he reached inside expecting a hamhock to come out, and I like whoop
see and accidentally like knock it out of her hand. Can I can I?
Can I help him? Can I use the help action on this?
I have you cottered, dear friends. As Ma and her mystical yukile Ali
comes stomping up the steps trey of Nadumafoos in her hand, she throws it
as she would have thrown hammer as you take it from paw, pinpoint accuracy,
hitting your paw and sending it over No tofu crap. Yes, my
accident has changed because I am leaving the funk alone. I had a long
day fuck come on, come on, I made this extra special for Najima.
I took the tofu and you know, I worked it just like you
said, and I put it in your pants. You never put food in
your pants. You put it in the pockets I made for you. Side
then I was gonna agree with Ma here, but then she kind of went
a little left field on me there, so I may have to back out.
I'm just trying to respect Najima's choice of food and eating. I didn't
want to intermingle my meat pockets with soy bly you know, this little tofu
thing. So all right, all right, hey, I'm with Juba.
Her eating habits are weird, especially for a cat person, like I don't
get, but she's nice nas just like quiet ma. You know what that
actually reminds me. I gotta go change the kiddy litterbots. Hey, I'll
be back. You guys enjoy these chicken tendees. And he just throws a
few more on the tables. Raw chicken tendes, I would imagine. Yeah,
So, so I like the idea so bashion like kind of like whoops,
and like Najuel like sees it coming and totally like plays into it,
like like oh no, and like just throws it out a window, poor
villager before a peasant working the fields below. And then she gives like a
real thankful look to Sebashian, like, oh my god, darling, I
think I saw your light flash before all nine of them. Well, that's
all been happening. Woozy has been talking to Faye at the other end of
the table, uh and and fades an easy and and then when he walks
in and he's it's I he actually had Sorry, I've messed it up again
one second, and he puts his hand to his temple, draws out a
strand of memory and like flicks it away and it bumps into like five or
six other ones over there, and he kind of blinks his eyes. Oh,
Faye, you know I have this joke I've been wanting to try out.
Anyways, it goes like this. You gotta say it. Christ Christian,
you can't just get that offer and then back away. You got okay,
all right? The mistake is yours, my friend. Yeah, you
didn't expect to have to tell the joke. What's wrong with you that?
I was hoping for someone to save me there with my fade out, But
I got your Christian as Ma is sitting there with a tray of Nauma's food.
Oh oh yeah, oh yes um, and and Nare like reaches out
and like picks it up, and it's you see a glazed chickpea burger in
order of cucumber and squashed stuffed peppers, m topped, just a little vegan
cheese yum. I think, yeah, she'll she'll, she'll start, She'll
start nibbling. Okay, ma, Ma, you see Masai Yeah, sold
it. Her voice constantly changing. It's perfect once versus I practiced this before
we started. Chris going. It is very old. She just goes.
She comes in and out of different accents. Everybody knows this about her and
no one comments on. She's lived many lives. Due is also probably incredibly
drunk right now, just to get her Chrison, one one of your servers
overserved me. I don't know what happened, but I got very very drunk,
and I require sixteen tendis please. You're drunk because you're broke into the
cellar and stole three kegs and then proceeded you shotgun them with your friend.
No watch, Yeah, it was awesome that that doesn't sound like me.
No, we did that. It was great. Nevertheless, sixteen tenders please,
a sixteen tendies high and he's coming right as you hear them shouting between
four labs of the bar with no problem over the dan of everyone caught talking.
As you look back, you can see that the newbie fighting the troll
has gotten his own and sees me far more even be matched. But he's
still very bloody to the snowbie's doing pretty okay. Kind of reminds me of
you holding that piece of shit barely even be the troll. I wouldn't be
holding. You're drunk on my table. Shut up, I'm sorry. Hold
on, he's making a point. You're right holding This guy sucks shit.
Hey, you suck nice. He's new. You remember when you were new?
No, I remember when you were new. Let's talk about that.
I don't want to. Let's open that up. I was cool before I
joined. Remember when he first tried to pause Spicy Chicken tendees? Maybe I
saw you barfing in the toy. It's a couple of minutes later. That
was That was for unrelated reason. Numa was like completely like leaning in,
like like listening, like yeah, paw appears over your shoulder and goes,
I remember I puked for a totally normal reason. I had horrible alcohol poisoning.
It's a very cool reason to puke. It wasn't because of how spicy
attendees were. I want to make that abundantly clear to everyone. Here,
roll the sception check for me. Okay, yeah, that's definitely a lousy
whips around startled at your voice, he was clearly looking around for someone else
to tell his joke to him. Well, Chris, I rolled a big
fat three. Luckily people are too drunk to notice your bully. Why let's
go. Oh except for fee Gosh remembers remember this. Yeah, Woozy's over.
Actually, Umbras in the chair opposite him by the hearth across from him,
and he's kind of leaning back in his chair, and he says,
and the man said, well, all I got from my wish was a
twelve inch pianist selectively talking to people. Isn't this broadcast? I'm sorry I
was laughing too hard. Job see is that of an ore person. However,
she can telp practically communicate with the one she's attuned to. Yes,
so she has to act like a translator, does have to like no no,
you can can speak out loud on her own if she desires to.
Okay, she could also tell athlete communicate with the one. She's a tuned,
which is currently very cool. She's got some beats audio speakers basically just
AirPods. Umbro would talk to fan be like, could I could I just
kill him? I can fall? It could make it look like an accident.
It could be. It could be so so easy. Oh no,
he's good. He's a sweet old man. You want me to save you,
I'll come save you. Can you just laugh for me? I could
pretend to be asleep. It would be very easy. Gladly Gladly just walks
over and slaps Woozy on the back. You're hilarious. Huh that was a
good joke. Woozy, Yep, that was great. I did yeah.
Proud of you. Oh, thank you. Wow, that's so nice of
you. You should write it down. How have you been lately? Did
I write it down? Barnie? Did I write it down? The little
dwarf nods, invigorated and excited. Yes, I got it. Well,
he doesn't say that. He just don'ts I'm gonna take Umbra for a few
minutes, all right, uh, thank you, no one. Uh my
imaginary friends, all right, you're crazy. You're a crazy one fan like
I like you too. Lucy could be so easy. I could just fall.
It would look like an accident. No, bra, don't be stronger
than that. I have to go to the bathroom and then Woozy teleports instantly
the waste of a spell. I'm gonna say, what kind of tele horse
fell are you using, Woozy. I need to know, are you doing
dimension door actual teleport? There's a lot of options. There are a lot
of options. Um, we're gonna say, maybe he missed, he stepped,
Misty stepped, Yeah, yeah, all the one. I'll well that.
I'll out. There's a bathroom close enough for you to missus. I
got you, I got chew miss He steps straight into the bathroom and already
on the st It's definitely me and I'm taking a hole. Not again,
God damn time. What are we in sync or something? I'm about to
take you out to the backstreet boys? Can we all? Hear them screaming
from the back, Oh my god, Buffled yells. I need he needs
he needs something from that. Just got something? I need Wozy and Natche
to roll wisdom stealth checks. Whoa, what does that mean? Wait?
How how do I do that? If you're proficient and self your proficiency modifier
and and you had your intelligence modifier instead of decks? Yeah, okay,
okay, pulling out all the stops for the minis taking the system by the
seams and pulling it apart. That's a flaccid twenty Jesus, we say,
discount here, discount monster, I used them afar lingo. Let's say a
discount dungeons. Baby, yeah, I know your role. We say,
that's a horny twenties. I got a horny thirteen men. Just to be
quietough for you guys not to hear anything. However, Nawachi screams echoes through
the stone loud enough you guys hear what occurred in the bathroom. Yeah,
Chris, they definitely both look up as light fills the chamber. As a
paw walks in holding a giant container of kitty litter and he can't see over
his like holding, so he just hey, here we go, gotta dump
it out, and he goes to like dump it right in the stall.
That there is your NBC. So you're welcome. I create I naima creation.
She was the machine that made that fuel. Noachi is having the worst
diary of his life. Has an old man that teleported into his lap and
is covered in kitty litter. I go into a rage. I don't have
to go to the bathroom anymore any Misty stepped back to the hut well before
both of you leave. Nowachi's rage spills over and you feel the air into
eye. Nice we picks up and lightning frales the fine old cuts little like
lightning streaks. Fourth, who do you target? Uh? Can I choose
not to target anyone with it? You have to target someone you can target
to the door. You target woozy creature yep, okay, one creature of
my choice the code. It has to be a creature. Do target paw.
No, I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm because I'm literally I'm
legitimately just like mad at the situation. So if I can just destroy the
stall or something, yes, I'll let you destroy the stall and set him
harm someone. You all take three points of piercing damage from the splinters.
Shit okay, okay, So before his as as the stall explodes, I'd
like to imagine that Pau has seen this happen before, and we're gonna I'm
thinking like a little bit of a Black Widow and Hulk moment. Hey,
I know you're real mad, but hey, look the chicken tendee. Remember
the tende. He's like walking real slow. Just think about the tendee,
think about the sweet poison. That's my no watchie, and he's like getting
very close and just reaches out with the chicken tendee. Son's going down,
big guy. I'm sorry, I'm sorry about the stall. Hey, Hey,
it's okay. I don't know why my even put him in. I
just like to shit in front of everybody. I don't know why all guys
hume he's got to keep it a secret. I mean, hey, shit
goes in and shit goes out. That's exactly why ma put that in.
You're way too comfortable the shitting in front of people. It's weird. He
Well, let's just keep this between you and me. She only has me
cleaning the bathroom, so I'm sure it'll be at least a few weeks before
she even notices that you just fucking rage exploded this entire bathroom. You look
over and see like three exploded stalls next year. My lips are sealed,
Pat, How can you please get the funk out of here so I can
wipe out? Are you still holding Woozy? Woozy teleported takes three points of
piercing. Woozy said, I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore.
Woozy left and then a few moments later he returned, covered and Kitty let
and yeah, can we can we cut the holding? Because holding? Hears
Noachi rage in the bathroom, and he stirs and he goes are raging and
he tries to throw his his his dukes up, but he can't feel his
arms so he just throws his little spaghetti arms around. Who are we doing
this? Making a tack roll with disadvantage? There's currently who I was asking
a question. I didn't the tech She threw your arms out. There are
people sitting at the table up up, not aunt. Chris wants us to
fight each other. I think I think he wants he's been bringing this this
fighting pit. I think he wants he said, you said at disadvantage,
Yeah, disadvantage is actually a seventies dare. Wow, he needs you.
There's what three people at table say, Najima and Sai, right, I
need you to roll a D six for me. On, let me get
him a w W lunchbox. I didn't think I needed how many? Yes,
one, that's a two and that will hit Sebastian. Oh, Sebastian,
do you take six points of bletching and damage? Oh? No?
I imagine too that Sebastian and Najma were having like a really like deep intellectual
conversation about like vegan substitutes and like holding just like accidentally punches Sebastian in the
face. This is just like, oh, oh god, fuck, I'm
so sorry, Sebastian, I'm so sorry. I thought we were raging.
I did not get a good grip on the situation. I need like a
lot of water. Does anybody have any water? It's all right, old
man, it's all right. You just hit my money maker. And he's
just kind of like wiggling his jaw. Yeah, oh my, Sebastian,
Sebastian, are you all right? That looked a little a little heavy handed,
quite heavy, But it's alright. I'm a made I'm made of stern
of stuff. And then when everybody doesn't look, he just goes. Faye
will call out to one of the barmaids and say, get us a keg
of water for this guy please, and an ice pack for Sebastian. Yes,
thank you. Nail is like scolding. Holding, like holding, I
always go British Najima from Florida, United States. Um, holding, you
need to stop that holden. That's too much. That's too much drinking.
You need to go go and become I've never been drunk, so whatever you,
whatever you do to become not drunk. I have water. He leans
over the wood is so bad, dear, kind of wandering over to the
table with you guys, and his little like dwarf astral is like sitting on
the spell book listening to your conversation, swinging his legs. He's like breaks
over and then he's sitting down and trying to woozy his way into the conversation.
Oh oh, Nashima, Oh Sebastian, are you okay? Time all
right? I'm all right, I just got the little shot. Would clock
woozy? Why are you covered in cat litter? Would you look at Oh?
No, crazy, I'm a crazy guy. Anyway, crazy guy.
He's gonna cast press agitation and cleanse himself. Successful. Fay you feel umber
relaxed. There was I think she saw some sort of potential terrible situation with
Woozy covered in kitty litter and a giant cat person standing right in front of
him. Yeah, Niguel was starting to go. Was come a part of
the seams. Don't worry. Faye was like kind of leaning away from Woozy,
just like, hey, later you guys, I like calling the guys.
You guys are fun guys. Do you guys want to come up and
see Woozy's secret spot later tonight? No, thank you. I think I
never want to hear you say those words again. What? Oh my god,
what did you do? As your middle of this conversation, you hear
the pitter pattern of tiny halfling feet as this wide eyed young guy, aulbard
Hair stares at you, Woozy. Oh my god, it's Muslim. It
is Muslim. I need jarnigra Muslim, please buzzer. Oh my god,
it is holding you used to like me, huge fan boy. I know
everything. Holden, do you remember the Fight of three thirty five where Woozy
meteor Storm the or tribe that was possessed by demons and then dispelled everything.
And you can see that he is clutching this thick like autographed book. Oh
my god, it's fake. Where's Umbra? It's like she love her,
like I heard all the stories. Who excuse me? Who told you that
I'm razor sharp and ready to go? We could end this right now.
Put the silence to this. Amuse me? She says that as a joke.
I think it was mentioned it is. He just really like sinking into
his body as Fades glares him down. Down. You might want to you
you you're you're in more danger right now than you Then you know why why
don't you? Why didn't you and Holden to me? Come chum it up?
Okay, we can talk some stories about the old days. Did you
know that Holden used to have three feet? I come back from the bathroom
and walk up to this kid and look at him and point to Woozy and
say to the kid, Hey, is this guy bothering you? He he's
Wooslim and you're the butcher. He holds the book, Please sign no,
and you just see the crestfall. Don't be rude. And I Am going
to flounce on over and take a book. Okay he willingly with it,
still all struck and I am going to flourishly sign my name all over a
page. Hold, I take up the whole damn like a little drawing you
know, of me across two pages and make a third draw exactly what I
do. Oh yeah, and it's like, who am I'm making this out
too? I am Mesiican for her with love from Sebastian too, Mesicans.
Can you put my name on that too? Just from Lucy as well?
I can do that. Hey a kid, kid, kid, you,
how'd you get up here? I grease the stairs with all my chicken tendy
grease. I don't know, guys, guys, I'm real sorry about this
kid. Hey, I'll throw him over the edge down into the fighting pit.
Let the troll take care of don't even worry about it. You can't
throw the young uns off into the pit. No faith, Mom's gonna beat
your ass if she finds out you're doing it again. It's between you and
I. Hey, look, maybe the kids just slip. Hey, you
know, hey, chicken tender the real slippy. You know it's the homemade
he I think pop has a point. Chicken tendees are very slippy. I
just wanted they kid, come with me, Come with me, I'll take
you down. Don't worry. You don't got to go feed the troll and
pops Pop will take him over to the bucket that he uses to go up
and down very quickly and just like start pulling himself. And this halfling down
back to the first level reminds me of of of an orange goblin. As
soon as they get down the stairs, holding goes. I will sign your
after making your statement, hold it taste five seconds to your eyes, the
kid is gone. Don't worry holding I signed for you, Thank you,
Thank you. Can I like forge everybody's signature? Have I known everybody well
enough to like do all this for you? Can we say that Sebastion is
the groups like Peon? Yeah? Absolutely? Can we say that I forged
everybody's you know, autographs onto this poor kid's blood? You know what.
Give me a sleight of hand check and we'll see how you got in there
right with your head? Okay, all right, cool. I don't have
any training in sleight of hands, so we'll see what happens. That's a
that's a nap twenty. Yeah, you've got everyone at the table's name in
there. Despite the distractions of the chaos and You've forged it perfectly. He'll
never know it was just you doing it. I imagine Sebastian Najuma have like
an agreement that like I don't Yeah, Najuma doesn't know how to write.
Let's just say that. So Sebastian's been all like najimas pr person or can
be like the front like the helps her with that stuff because Naguma doesn't know
how to do any of that. Like every year for yearly enrollment benefits,
it's like, I don't know. I had to sign the paper work.
Where do I sign? Fills out your Yeah, Sebastian, I have all
these papers and I don't know what they mean, and can you help my
cat instincts. I just want to push them off the table and I just
and it's over and over again. It's very satisfying, but it doesn't kid
me. But I feel like Jimmie and Sebastian or bfs, Yeah, I'm
liking that. I'm liking that. I imagine because Nashima is like a far
traveler, so she's like really into like hearing stories and like tales, and
I think it's kind of why she got in the guild. So like I
think Sebastian scratches that itch like, and that's Sebastian's things too. He's all
about experiencing everything you can't so like, I'm sure he's had some of your
granola. Oh you know, and whenever you try something, you try something
with you, you love it. Everybody has u sorry, everybody has signed
the book. Oh, Sebastian, you're so good at that. I don't
know how you create those glyphs, those symbols on the paper. It's so
beautiful, so fluish. I've often to teach you, dear. I imagine
Naga looks at her pause they're just like cat pause. She's like, oh,
I wish I could learn. Are the leonin just illiterate so we can't
write? Just look at our hands? Wait, no, this is how
it is. Like you know how my mom just constantly never knows how to
use technology. Yes, we all, Andy, we all know how your
mom um. You know that, Karen, my mom Karen, Like she's
got a doctorate, so she is one of the smartest people, yet she
doesn't know how to turn off the router. So I imagine Najima is kind
of the same thing with writing, Like she definitely could learn it, but
she always feigns like, oh, Sebastian, you're just better at that than
me, and just like it just doesn't want to like do it. You
know, I've had this realization that there is going to come a point where,
like for all of us, where we get old enough where we just
don't want to learn anything, just slander against me, lies and slander.
I don't know what mys like flipping around on his hollow board, uh,
you know, jerking around VR stuff with his cell phone, Like I'm probably
just gonna be like, dang, I remember when I used to just open
my phone, Tramathy, I need you to reset my hollow brain rounter.
I like that. I like that everyone everyone in the future is gonna be
named after Joe's know your role naming mechanics. I'm a fucking prophet, bro
So I like to think when Sebastian brings up like, oh, Na,
I can teach you. Na was like, oh, granola, I just
made it really good? Is my best batch? You make? Granola?
Holding what is granola food? I get some water, so eventually three various
bars and just carry up two like sixty four gallon drones of water for you
guys. Like rolling it very painfully up the steps because they're exhausted. They've
been working like shifts. Yeah, I fully dunk, holding oh yeah,
holding faces one of these kegs of water, like you know the dragon,
Remember the dragon, Chris, That's that's what I do to this, Just
straight down the gullet and I just and now and now I'm feeling Now,
I'm feeling good. You deep throat at a dragon? Oh Jesus Christ,
were you going to say something? Um? And Umber kind of like directs
your attention down to the fighting fit and she says, do you think he's
gonna be okay? Has this guy just been getting his ass? He's getting
those cheeks clapped, Chris, he's just been up against a corner getting demolished
this entire time. As remember directs your attention, you notice that it's not
one and not two, but three trolls now in the pit. You see
the bottom floor has kind of gone a little bit crazy as they go,
who like, God, hey you did it. You can't make a joke
and be upset it landed. You just gave us a softball softball pitch and
we just haven't just hit that sucker. Yeah, like like like over eighties
retired league softball. Yeah, you guys, we were a camera. The
camera cuts to the kitchen, where Pa is standing in front of two levers,
one of which is labeled Chicken Tendye sauce. The other one is troll
cages. Oh shit, why did you do nothing? Do you remember when
we went up against the Baja tribe? Just reminds you how far away am
I from the trolls. You're about seventy feet on the diagonal down towards the
center of the pit, give or take ter fifty. You can just throw
me if you will. I'll handle this. Don't worry about it. No,
if I throw you, you're going to get stuck somewhere, and I
don't want any of these drunken lunatics handling you. That is a very good
point. Sometimes I forget I can't walk. Yes, I missed the old
days. I missed drinking and carousing with you, and I I just want
to be thrown sometimes I guess around. I wasn't expecting fay and this is
just a fat I like being thrown and um, oh see you just take
my big swig of ale, just like Nope, not going to answer that
whatsoever. Choice. Do I have the ability to cast toll toll the dead
on one of the trolls? Absolutely? All right, you're going to bother
trying to make a saving throw for it, so deal your damage, which
is four D twelve four D eight. No, it has taken damage.
It's forty twelve. Oh, thank you, all right, four D.
So as you're looking for dice here, yeah, you hear people who that
that trolls out it was you, it was him. And you just see
bottles starting to get thrown and fists and tables getting thrown. Someone screens but
this is on the bottom floor. Right, where is this? It's on
the bottom floor, bottom floor. Holden rips his shirt off. That is
thirty four damage. Thirty four thirty four damage to one of the trolls.
Jesus, alright, strip baby, We we out of here today about big
levels. Okay, these trolls are absolutely worthless and we can compare to you,
so no need for initiative. Wonderful. We're gonna go in order,
starting with beans, and you're gonna tell me what you want to do.
How far away am I from the If you swan dive off the balcony,
you can reach it. This turn. Do you think I'm not gonna do
that thing? I know. That's why you're what you're going to do,
which is why I started with that option. Yes, holding does a little
kip up on the table and then from the table just launches himself over the
balcony onto the first floor, onto the closest troll. Give me an athletics
check, please, that is a twenty seven, so you get a half
ready start you flip the table, hit the railing, push off the room
into your swan dive. As you see the bottom floor erupted into chaos,
fighting, punches being thrown. You lend knees first on the back of two
people, slip even stone for doing a role which puts you just at the
lip of the pit which you instigially put your hand on, push off kind
of vaulting it like a video game, and drop kick a troll the face.
It's like dying light right there. Oh yeah, that's a what is
that? That's six damage to that guy that we'll say that is troll three
to one number didn't hit? Okay? Was that my action? That was
just that was your turn in this craziness. Okay, fair enough, who's
next? My turn, I think, okay, so woozy. As soon
as bar fight is is screamed, he he runs over to the nearest railing
and he starts chuckling and laughing to himself as he's using mage hand to give
people wedgies, pull shirts over faces, like to throw bottles into the back
of heads. And he's just up there having a good time but being safe,
you know, living vicariously in the bar fight. Just that I'm gonna
say, I will let you say. You could use planes and throw a
lot more things around. He's just he's just making mischief. He's just giving
bats and stuff. So one of the people not realize what you're doing.
One of people is going, I'll see who You grabbed his underweard, tripping
him and he his face right until the stone rim the thing breaking his front
teeth. Oh god, oh shit, sorry John, that that would be
me. I want to just get everybody on the top floor riled up,
just stand up and be like my boys about to fuck this shit up,
open up this fucking pits, and I just want everybody to gather, gather
around the circle and watch hold him go nuts. Give me a performance check
with advantage. Okay, what's the one thing the tornado mo where you like
swing your arm and the outers are going to run around in a sky.
Yeah, that's absolutely what I do. That's an eighteen. So the floors
that is where you are, and the one below you, which hold houses
the rest of the storm Guardians separate from the rest of the guild, are
now all at the at the railings going holding hold hold it. Didn't holding
holding holding, holding, holding, I'm gonna come by holding holding holding its
cupping his hands around his ears like live it, like drinking it in,
like can we all can't hold in? So David has to sink the chance
up? Do it? You? Craig just died, Poor David. I'm
fully convinced we just exploded a discord. Server like Craig is contaneously conversing right
now. Craig can't handle this, or we're helping Craig evolve. We're giving
him those Rag's about to call in his bought friend Greg for some extra help.
Greg. Quick, wow, So hold him. As you're shore holding
the rank, getting people's tention, you feel these claws rake against your back.
Oh no, you will take a whopping twenty points of slashing damage as
you're now bare chest is rendered by trolls iron claws looking at you, licking
his lips. I'm gonna I am clearly gonna retaliate against this asshole, and
I'm gonna take a swing. Not your option just yet, but I have
as a reaction. I have retaliation if I believe. Also, we're not
doing initiatives, so okay, oh good good. So to get everyone in
on this, who's next in the line? Megan's up yet, next fag
will just kind of grab Umbra and then she'll actually stand up on the edge
of the railing Um, can I see where the Nubis who was getting like
his ass kicked? Yes, you can, Okay. I will just kind
of turn to umber and said, do you want to go save this kid
from getting you know, killed? Absolutely? All right, sounds good?
And then then maybe I can throw you around a bit since you seem to
like that. This is again just a fay thank you. I am going
to activate my cloak of flying and flutter down to where the guy is and
kind of drag him from the fight and be like, good job, kid,
welcome to the guild. And you just see like his eyes hold and
shut his lip is caught. He's got a gash on one side. It's
a half work. He's just like sore guardians. The guardians be using umbra
like if anyone touches me, I'll just be like jabbing them out of the
way. As drabbed dragged this half work across the bar to you know,
probably getting some chicken. Ye people sho boss make fame, and you just
glare to go no, like go watch hold any dumb asses. Hey,
he looks he looks fantastic doing that. By the way, I'm so proud
of you. Thank you. Okay, Who's next? Um, I believe
it. Nama. I think Najima would like uh take like like hear hear
what Noachi said, and be like, oh, this would be this would
be definitely very good. And and and goes and like sits at the edge
of the pit with her legs hanging over and life was dangling them like completely
calm, just knowing that this is just like I feel like a normal Friday
night for the guild, and then starts munching. Right, you have like
seventy feet of movement, so you can totally get there with a dash.
Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, She's just like and just munching on some granola
just like and I believe that brings us up to Sebastian. I am going
to do vomaturgy to cause my voice to boom so loudly, and I am
going to basically narrate the fight, you know, yes, and then he
jumpsole kits them across the I am also going to see if I can get
people to bet. So I'm assuming you're going down to the main floor where
the barb fight is, but not in the actual fight. Okay, So
you're gonna go down like the first lofted floor so you can kind of get
people ever still bringing in tables and arn't brawling, okay, right, And
I'm just narrating and commenting on everything and trying to see if I can get
anybody to bet who thinks that the troll will get him again? Yes,
this is so some coin in on this. The odds of him getting hit
or him going down or die and those are very different odds. Fashion That's
basically what I'll be doing. Hey, Chris, in between turns, can
I get can you give us a little bit of an idea of what's going
on with MA during all of this, Like, is this just totally normal.
For it's the highest shelf nicker, the no shelf. No, why
did you break the three hundred year old they canty of dwarf and nicker And
she takes her fund It just literally thunders swipes so schmuck off he bar.
Oh my god, Oh wait, this is with her ukulele, with her
ukuleleles, you just funders might someone off her bar and his music was electric.
It's electric, bog will keep But like my screaming, no, not
that chair. That chair was already But why are you breaking the fresh chairs?
Not the tables? Ah? Why did you release the trolls, you
dumb ass? No, no, you're on pulling letters trying to like douse
water. But apparently your old friend Boston put bloods of word like, oh
snarl, you're in a blood rage. What I'd like to imagine that so
Pa Pa used to be a barbarian when he was younger, and when this
blood sprinkler starts off, his fucking rage kicks in and he just starts running
absolutely wild through this bar with like a label in each hand, just like
knocking people out left and right. This is how the Guild stays at tiptop
shape. You know, you're never safe. Seems to join in the fray,
wheeling those d labels like I'm mad man. So all this is going
on, occasionally poking a person out mom screaming at the top of her one
is not to damage the good liquor, which is being totally ignored. You
see food, flying, jaws, breaking bears, and there's about out of
the mass of this guild. We're talking six hundred people in this tavern,
meaning more a good eighty to nine year around the thing, cheering, holding
on, going, hold hold, hold, fuck the trolls up. I
got ten bucks hold days and down and worn round. Nah, they were
three rounds. Those twos are metagaming eighteen seconds, six seconds, thirty seconds.
He's totally too drunk for this. At some point, while all this
like fight and like raucousness and the general Friday night hubbub of the of the
tavern is going on, I think at some point Luzy would approach Faye.
Maybe if she was like leaning against the table off on, you know,
looking for someone to pull up something. You're still on the fourth floor,
she's down on the bottom, okay, yeah, so then he would have
like grabbed like two glasses of wine and walked over to her and opened up
a to mension door, Like you can't go catch the stage, get a
little crazy in here. Could use a breath of fresh air, Chris wears
the new kid is he like just tucked up in a corner. Well,
you have successfully gotten him out of the pit over the last eighteen seconds by
the waitch holding. I need you to roll. We'll see. You got
four krits in this. So do you want to just kill a troll?
You want to spread it out? What I got crip, I'm speeding this
along. Yeah, you were going hand in this thing, just packing and
bashing. The trolls are just as reckless as you are. You have beer
bulls being thrown down on you. You have cheers, you have a few
people urinating to the ring for fun. He is showers, all right,
So first off, I swing it one and just cut its head clean off.
The second one, I reach into its eyes and mouth like a bowlieball
and just rip out, looking like stepped up in his fucking great She's like,
oh no, upper upper jumper jaws out. I guess we could say
I'm raging because this just fits in with what I'm about to do and then
um, and then I just pick up one of them above my head and
just break his back over my baby. So as you do all that,
you see the one folds trolled his head, he cut off, take his
head up and play it back on. After about six seconds of you cheering
of your victory, you hear the spine of the one snap back into places.
It falls itself up from the ground. And the third one you see
the symptom reforming and closing is a sin cloes background, creating a whole of
phase. It even did it become more attractive As this happens. Paul runs
up to the to the ring raging and he goes fie and he just throws
the chicken tender grease into the knows how to fight trolls? Yeah, give
me a y saving throw police. Oh next, Dary, you bitch to
fourteen you Oh we get parsh only one arm gets covered in pause chicken grease.
I'm horning why this is absolutely Pete D and D. When people talk
about Baby fifth edition, they'll talk about this session. As we've we've done
it. We've played the perfect game of D and D. Everybody well done.
So I have a question for one, also going to get involved in
this troll fight or is it safe for holding troll initiative? UM. I
imagine that Nagima would. I don't think she's like a real violent type,
so she probably would really just kind of be like, oh whoa wow,
wow great. Oh didn't like that. No, I think seeing seeing that
the trolls regenerated, I would start to get like a little worried. I
wouldn't show it because I trust my boy Holden and I'm trying to keep up
his rep. But I would probably jump in there. Okay, yeah,
I would expect him to. Honestly, Woozie wouldn't get in the fight,
right he's he's I imagine him and Faye are being two of the older ones
or kind of like, uh, you know, have a have a bond
and buddy sort of system. I feel like he's smoking a pipe. I
don't like he's not interested in like the Shenanigans of the bar fight. Is
more than happy to join Woozy in his super secret spot. It's just the
roof. It's just the roof. It wasn't supposed to be creepy. I
don't want to take this from holding He's obviously having the time of his life.
So I am focusing on hyping it up, being that pr guy trying
to play Bookie a little bit, get some some betting and and money on
the side. I love Sebashian's amazing. It is incredible, woozy and fang
gets you in a quick minute. Okay. I need Sebashian to make performance
sleight of hands, and I'm trying to figure out what bookkeeping would be performance
intelligence. So I need two performance checks, one charisma, one of tcheleance.
I need one slide of hand check from you, all right, So
my first one, my first performance is going to be the twenty five Yeah,
can we break thirty? Okay? My slide of hand is going to
be an eighteen okay. And your second performance, which is intelligence not charisma,
all right, so that it not so cooling, okay? Um sixteen
okay. So the first you're show voting draws everyone attention. You see the
fifth stop coming, Everyone goes wait, the storeguarders are fighting trolls. Everyone
storeguarder fighting the trolls. Watch the massacre, and everyone floods to the corners
of the pit like the second floor. Everyone's that realize everyone's looking down.
The fights have stopped your slight of hand. You pick up a good thirty
forty bets your intelligence. The only remember about Swanny where they came from.
It's it's difficult multitasking, all right. I'm trying to write them, but
I'm also trying to pay attention to the fight so I can narrate. So
it's kind of hard to keep track about. Everyone's gonna be too drunk to
remember. That's fine. You're probably just gonna keep all the money. That's
kind of the goal. I mean, I'm hoping I can get away with
people's money. Damn. So now as the blood Springers are still going at
this point, everyone's pressuring blood mixing with the grease, creating this weird congealed
messal bit floor. I mean, Holden and Natch, you troll initiatives for
me, nineteen for me? Okay, So Nwache, you are the beginning
by a fame mile. Okay. I wanted to ask what I have had
time to bet before I jumped in. Gave me no. Yeah, you're
one of the ones that she doesn't remember that Sebashion does not remember you bet
it. But Sebashion doesn't know you betted. Okay, Hey, that's the
best way to bet because now you can just say what you bet whether depending
on how it ends. Okay, I see what you're saying. All right,
okay, and I'm first act. M all right, well, I
M I probably would have ended my rage from earlier, so I will rage
again. I would like to get up close to one of the trolls and
well, first, as part of your rage action, do you want to
give olden resistance to lightning damage? Yes? And do you want to bolt
one of the trolls? Yes? Okay, troll one, two or three?
Oh you know what I would I would I would target the ones that
slashed holding That would be number three. Okay, then I'm targeting number three.
Okay. So I'm gonna roll three D six lightning damage. It makes
six safe sorry sixteens. Number seventeen is the save. Yeah, it fails.
It will take three D six lightning nine lightning damage. Okay, Now
your action. I'm gonna I feel like I carry my blade horizontal across my
back. I haven't sheathed like behind me, so I take that out.
I'm going to go two handed and swing that blade. Swinging the blade.
Okay, you're going reckless or not. That's a great question. I think
the answer is a hernit percent yes, okay, with advantage. I'm glad
because my first role was a one. Actually no, I'm sorry, let
me correct myself. Both my roles were a one. Oh god, that's
crazy. Yeah, I'm just like two buzz to know what I'm doing,
and I just swing out like a fucking asshole. Yeah. The grease,
the blonde, the the rage, the lightning, all the sounds. You
just kind of do a whirlwind span thing You're gonna hit something and just totally
why yeah, next one. Oh yeah, that's right. I do get
to swing again. That is gonna be an eighteen to hit roll. You're
damage dear holding me naatchi? No, no, yeah, nawatchi. That
is thirteen to every slashing. Okay. And you can see it now with
this grease and the blood. The wounds art mending properly, and you see
someone go let's who and someone thorosal leg trade into the ring and the grease
just eight nights. Oh my god, this is incredible. Yeah, that
music kicked in at the perfect time. I've never been happier in my life
to tight to t the word play and cut over to cut over to the
band on the side, just like fucking slamming on these sort of arcane instruments
making this And it's a bunch of cobalts for sure. We're wearing wearing different
masks. Also in black weather. Oh of course, like every inch of
their body is black. It is covered on drawing this scene right now,
the tablet so the fire and the troll skin sears holding off. You guys
are absolutely fucked. I'm rolling attack number one and I guess I'll go for
the one that did number three attacked me. At this point we're fighting.
Maybe we're fighting Vade number one first the first attack. Chris is a in
the twenty six. Yes, Chris is vibing right now the song. Well,
like Nick brought up, how the blood the blood sprinklers are from,
like the Blade part and the Blade movie, the Blade Part. Damn,
I'm getting tired. Which one of these Which one of these trolls looks the
most like Donald Lowell? Okay, he's next, and the other one looked
like George Costanza's unrelated, and then and then one looks like Joe Pesci.
Oh my god. Two actors who are not in the film Blade I'm pretty
sure George Costanza was in Blade. I don't know what blade you saw,
Joe. I mean the fact is to ask that I don't know. Oh,
yes, anyway, my damnage is twenty to troll them anyway. Yeah,
I just wanted to confirm real quick. I'm checking. I AMDB.
George Costanza was Nick Nulty stunt double in the movie. So that's so it
is. Yeah, and that and that and an actor that plays George yes
character as George Costanza. Yes, Jason Alexander parentheses as George Costanza an understudy
situation. This is the best podcast of all time. Okay, so Chris
is ready, we hold it. You hit, you do your damage.
You take five points as the arena and the grease is on fire, burning
your skin, burning the trolls. Everyone is raving around it, the blood
raining jail. Jesus, you got two more tex, buddy, go for
him. I gotta say, this is not what I pictured when you were
describing what the session might be like. Okay, this one, this one,
this one's going at the same guy and I'm afraid for him. That's
a nineteen, which is a crib five D twelve. My good friend,
Oh, oh god, yes, please dude, I haven't. I haven't
sat still for the last like three minutes. That is forty six damage six.
And as you clean it in half, the fire cackles and burn its
body. Pop. Hell yeah, as you sli cut it in half,
clean through, clean through, and before I do anything, I pick up
the top half of its pearl's body and I just hold it up for everyone
as they cheered down on me, and then I throw it down. Wow,
why did we live? Shirt live together? I did a very audible
drop in audio quality. We're the listener. We all just turned our cameras
on and we're vibing. We went dancing. Put the most chill music at
this part. So they're gonna be like, so on it. I'll put
Claire Deloon perhaps more the meat theme on on the weed channel. So,
Chris, what happens to that troll? Oh my god, holding bisexones straight
down from a head to bottom takes one side. Hot dogs, yeah,
hot doorways. It splits catly, burning his body, fopping like tar hold.
It takes one's side. He knew all his might and waving it at
a flag, the crowd into the poppy blood King is almost sparking kind of
random firework effects. Oh my god, to the music the dom. Do
you see people banging on tables stomping? What has grown from a barbrawl has
turned into a washing wall. Shit, I'm imagining this scene in slow motion
now. Is everyone bumping and vibing up and down to like the blood rain
and rain? Yeah, this is perfect slow motion and getting has gotta like
a look of horror on her face. Yeah, in float motion, I
am waving half of this troll around my head like Pete Pablo, like a
helicrapt. I will say that it does use your third attack. That's fine,
dude, unless you want to hit someone with the troll. I want
you attack with Oh absolutely, what are you kidding? You even asked me
that. So what's my do I just roll a regular hit for this trolls?
I'll say you're not only proficient with troll body perses. Let's just go
with dice and strength. Listen, you don't know me, dude, I
control your best from my friend. I know that's a twenty two. We'll
say that does three dy six bludging damage to troll warner to your choice.
That's eleven. That's eleven on the dice. I can't remember you said they,
so that would be five. So that's sixteen, bludging damee. You
met a shoot, knock him prone, splintering in the nose and cracking a
fangs. You take about five hundred I don't know, about three hundred pounds
of troll body and just slim it into his face. Absolutely, and you
can see the fire and the grease mixing into his bloody and wounds, and
it's popping and spurting, and you can almost feels like a no, how
you can put fish into boil that's too hot. That's the sound you're hearing.
I love it, So I guess that's all for me. That's three
attacks. Yeah, that's it. That's the one troll its body burning in
the flames and rages, tries to climb out of the pit as it does
so puts one hand on and strikes with its other ats the watch sheet.
So you just get too coll attacks. The rushes passed you. You will
get attack of opportunity, but you do get hit twice for fourteen half the
seven and are raging and eight half the four sorry seven and four yea seven
for eleven total. Okay, yeah, I would love to take that opportunity
to go for it. That's a seventeen to hit ys Okay, that is
gonna be eleven slashing, wonderful. It's looking pretty bloody. You take off
one of his legs and it's just crawling towards the wall to get out.
Nice. I'll take off my headphones for a quick second. Yeah, yes,
the listener Chris's head banging right now and it's looking quite nice. I'm
not young enough to do that anymore. Your turn. Oh yeah, okay,
okay, so there's two left, correct, Yeah, what hasn't you
cut off the one's leg and this clong's way towards the wall. It gets
meat hooks to calls like in the water. It's just trying to drag itself
up the wall. That is too okay. Two is the one I want
to do attack anyway, So I'm gonna go reckless again on him. Nineteen,
which is a krit for me. And if you, if you will
recall my great sword. If I krit and the cree has under one hundred
hp, it's an instacill. Whoa, it's a DC constitution right okay,
yeah, yeah, goes baby. Would you allow me to describe this sure,
okay, And you said it was like climbing up a wall, right,
Yeah, okay, So I'm gonna go I saw holding go hot dog.
Ways, I'm gonna go Hamburg. You're having a barbecue, baby,
Yeah, two hands. I go, like like a fucking baseball player hitting
a home run. I take it over like over my top shoulder and swing
it sideways through its midsection. Uh. And then as I follow through and
cut it, cut it in half at the waist, I just like stand
there like anime style in a pose. You know how an anime somebody does
like a cool sword move and backs off and like an explosion happens behind them.
Well, let's just say that we suddenly see you through the slice.
Yes, oh man, that's a great visual I'm imagining. It's like it's
like an anime video game when you have like full meter and you click like
the combo and it's like you're done for son. Yeah. The field of
vision speaking between the troll's midsection as it separates, and you just see me
in the slashing pose. And how I've envisioned the nine life Steeler doing this
is that I do this insta kill and all the blood that spills out of
this creature like sprays out and then stops in the air and then gathers and
then spills into my plane as well. Holy hell, yes, so somehow
and a collective delusion. E's the point of view and the tower changes so
that they see the watchheet throughout her troll. It's blood congealing out of his
body into his fears, headed towards one of the skulls that mount the blade,
entering it as the skull is drinking it deep and as the last drop
goes in, the skull clamps shut. Hell yeah, a brief blash of
hell fire in his eyes before the magic fades from that full the troll's body
slumps, the body generate. There's no life for me as it begins to
pop and this frantic oil sultion. This is the best dad podcast of all
time. Yes, looks like me. Back on the menu, boy,
I'm so glad Joe to use one of the charges introduct I got nine charges.
Maybe I'm good to good. Hell yeah, you still have one attack
plush your bonus action to shock someone, but absolutely yeah, I would love
to use my second attack on the remaining control so as you instantly kind of
switch your by through the oil mostly gone, you hit the wet sand of
it, and you kind of knee slide rising at your target. All attack
for right, that is gonna be a thirty two. We broke it broke,
we broke the ceiling, which is also a crit. By the way,
I didn't realize it's a nineteen go Yes, it's happened DC DC fifteen
con save I well nineteenal dice plus five for twenty four. Okay, so
all right, I won't use another charge here. This will just be regular
damage. But I do have Slasher critical, and you also have brutal critical
from being a barbarian. Two crits in a road jo Hell yeah, yeah,
I'm feeling this man the fact Slasher critical for the audience and for me
because I don't know how my character works. The critical hit from Slasher means
I grievously wound this thing. If it survives, it will have disadvantage on
its next turn. And what's the other what's the other thing? I have
brutal critical for being a barbarian, and that means I re roll an additional
night Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, so this will
be four D six plus seven it'll be six D six plus seven. Oh,
yes, you're right. Holy shit, all right, so that is
gonna be Oh my god, I'm so bad. I'm at thirty six down.
Okay, and you still have your bonus action, and you also have
your reaction to try knocking your prone if you want. You know what,
I don't think I want to use my storm or a here, No I
do, No, no, I was. I was gonna think about maybe
laying this guy out for holding to get advantage on the next hit. But
I am going to use the storm or instead. No, you can do
you can do both on the same term. Oh, because it's a bonus
action in my reaction. Okay, yes, I'll hit him with that Chris
slash and then can I like shoulder check him to knock him down? Sure
after after I follow through and then hit him with my storm walls. Incredible,
this fight these trolls, and I realize it'd be such good FATA for
this fuel. Okay, So after the sword it makes a strength saving throw
or as knocked prone. Okay, it is very much knocked pro. Okay,
excellent. Then yeah, I'm gonna just lean back and conjure that aura
and strike lightning into it. So DC seventeen deck say, which it spetacularly
fails solar damage. Yeah, that's gonna be three D six lightning is nine
lightning channeling demons, Sire. You strike through with that crip, slashing into
is wounding the bone, tendon, and organ, causing it to live.
What are forming out behind you? As you with your lagging shoulder ripped into
his body, causing it to circle speed into the ground the storm or raging
around you, A lightning bolt leaves down from the top, striking it,
rounding through the lightning glassing on the sand beneathhits a body. Oh, Chris,
do you want to take this moment to describe what the ceiling of the
bar looks like up above? I think it's the perfect time. So as
you do this, your head kind of turns towards the heavens, and you
see the dome is actually painted in these deep rolling thunderbods. It just seemed
to move ever slightly. You can see flickers and flashes lightning in it,
and almost in time of the oar, it flashes as the bolt hits the
troll. So there's like an active storm inside this bar. Is what you're
saying, and it's raining blood down from that storm as you now hear what
the sprinklers activated these storm or rumbling in thunder damn. Yeah. And meanwhile
now that the the ambiance has come back in too. I mean I'm imagining
Chris that there is just complete chaos on the first, second, and third
floor of the ball. Yeah, I don't is sharing, fighting, throwing
drinks, having drinking contests. There is no sanity left in the place.
We're talking orgy of blood, violence and drunkenness. Or yeah, the newest,
the newest general store opening Excel sub sandwiches, Holden and Unamachia. You
take eight fire damage from the oil that is coating your feet, looking up
your body as the pin is starting to kind of roll down the fire not
in the oil is there anymore? Must Pause been pouring more in beit Dick.
No, I think Paul with he was just raging and he was trying
to help the group out. He is back over with Mott defending the top
shelf clicker from would be assailants Ladles and I love it. Occasionally you hear
wars from Pause. His small golden frames swelled up like escunore in seven to
these things. He just beats people down from the top shelf, mom as
you gladly sending up thunders wars as she takes batting practice into young recruits.
You think they can raid the bar? Yeah, for free, He's irish.
Yeah, I feel like I feel like it bears. It's worth repeating
that this is just an normal nade exactly. That's why Najua hasn't really done
anything. She's like, She's like, oh, amount of this is like
this is anachi and holding like just like actualizing themselves on a typical ship for
us. So you're a cool. Attack transpires and resolves. The troll proned
you and holding loaming over it. Weapons, bared its life clearly and pin
away to a rampart. High upon the tower spires in the open air to
woozy and fat only the soft crisp sounds wind into your ears. The chaos
and raucous destruction below muffle that barely registers. So way, so nice up
here, cheers, cheers, No, you're so nice, woozy, thank
you. I'm meaning to tell you I've always enjoyed our little talks we have
up here. We'd both you know, been here for quite a while.
There's some fun kids in there. The guilt's in good hands. Not too
worried about that. That's something I wanted to talk to about. I.
When you get to be my age, you start to have a sense for
things. I and Woozy's usual sort of demeanor falls away, and he says,
I think something's coming that's dangerous. I don't know what. But and
he looks up at you and he says, I'm getting older and I won't
be here forever. Hell, I've been old for a hundred years. But
when I'm gone, will you look out for them for me? Absolutely?
That's why I've been around here as long, because the guilt's been good to
me and umbrah. So yeah, no, you don't have to worry about
that, Woozy. But you're sticking around for another hundred years, right,
Oh absolutely, no, I'm not worried about it. Then here's to another
hundred years. Cheers. Oh my back, Oh God, just breathe,
lay down, lay down, You're fine. It happens. It's just a
spasm. Yep, you've been through this before. Let's getting choked up over
here. That was beautiful. Faye will help Woozy with his poor back spasm
and just talk him through, be like you're fine. Probably also just takes
his other glass of wine and just starts drinking it. You're fine, Yep,
this is all good. Yeah. I imagine that after a decent amount
of time I've just enjoying the night air and the quietness and the company that
they would, you know, eventually dimension door back and rejoin once things have
kind of settled down a little bit. Hey, before sorry, before that
happens, you hear like you get this like itch in the back of your
mind, like something's like trying to talk to you, and it says,
you know, you could end this really, I'm sorry. I'm sorry him.
I was going to try and get you, going to push them off,
but I guess I was just a little upset that I want to see
that fight. It sounded really cool, but even Brough, there's a fight
every Friday. It's nothing new. It's just Nuachi and holding, you know,
showing off their dicks. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, literally
showing up, the showing off each other's Like, I'm like, I'm on
QBC, we got a perfect I thought you have three hundred to four hundred.
I told you my friend has a critical. I'm doing to know that
we made it two hours in fourteen mentioned moment that's actually impressed us. It
was really really good. That's very good for the wow. And I was
the first one to like, you know, bring it on the show.
But it was, it was good. It was a good natural way to
bring it in. There's no way we don't get an Oscar, and the
Oscar for restraint goes to specifically Joe's referring to an Oscar. Wiener, I
feel like a corner on my recordings, just me slamming my body in some
ways I can't respond. I have to be because just let the water wash
over here. Actually, this is a great time to mention our sponsor Oscar.
Wait wait, wait wait Chris are are are Woozy and Fay still outside?
Or have they teleported back in? They're currently on the cusp of teleporting
back and last thing he wanted to do. But we got the stride because
dicks be good, be good. Wed yeah, we could be good.
We can be good. I was, hold on, can I do?
Can I do an ad read? Okay? Yeah yeah yeah yeah, you
want a car shaped like a hot dog, Come on down to Oscar Meyer
Queener's Car Emporium, the one car, the only car on the planet that
looks like a big ass hot dog with wheels on the thing. I will
take my answer off the air. You want six inches of meat? Will
then come down to Mason six inches of meat store. It's only it's only
here you can get real six inches of meat. You get those right between
your buns, and you get butter and you slide it and you put and
it's six inches of meat. I'm Mason, all right, Chris, I
need you can bring us home in the next thirteen minutes. Alright, no
more, no more funny. It's no more fun no more comeback. So
Woozy and Faye are just getting ready to teleport back into the tavern. Correct
right, Yes, and then we do so once more. A bizarrely sheets
dimensional door opens and you can hear the sounds of a tavern coming in enter.
The blood has seemed to stopped. People over the thing are arguing over
coin, who won, what, Who killed which troll? Common arguments for
a Friday night. Blood, broken glass, splintered wood, Unconscious bodies lay
everywhere. Holden and Nawatchee ar victorious over the trolls. Yes, We're already
having a chugging contest at the at the lower before we exit the ring.
I feel like I lift, Like me and Holding are probably not that far
apart in size, but I think I'm strong enough to like lift him up
by the waist and like spin him around like dances. Yes, like like
like like I'm kind of yeah, like I'm showing him off to the n
eleven minutes Christian, So you see, I want to I want to see
fan fiction where Beans and Nuwatche are like in a very stable, committed relationship.
Who is this bean holding in Natch? And that's not fan fiction when
it's Cannon. Yeah, we're out of the wire here. I spin,
I spin holding the rounds. Everybody loves us so much, and then we
go pound beers absolutely, Zoeys call it there loves beautiful. You leave them
alone, I Nigel, So do you guys stay on the first floor?
Do you turn to your private level? Because yeah, I need to go
collect on my my bet that Sebastian forgotten that I made. Yeah, I
would imagine a bunch of people are like coming up to hold it. They're
like, oh, that was so great, and I'm just drinking it in
and also drinking and lots about kind of I'm soaking in the moment. Yeah,
I go, I go up to Sebastian and I'm like, all right,
well, I did what I said I would do when I placed my
bet. So give me all of the money that I gave you and all
of the money that everyone else gave you, because I wanted right, well,
here you go. And then I just put like five gold in his
hand. I don't I gave you a lot. I gave you a lot.
Well, come out, come with me, my friend, and I'm
going to pull out a sheet of paper and I'm going to start writing numbers
on it, and I'm going to start bullshitting the bet and and and the
uh the rate of you know, the two to one odds and then all
that, and I'm going to forge that this is indeed how much he's earned.
Sebastian could also forge his signature intelligence. Alright, you guys, actually,
yep, this seems right. You have your share, Okay, yeah,
it checks out. I mean, I can't argue with that yet.
I am personally extremely good at math, and I know you Sebastian are also
uncompromised in the field of mathematics and very trustworthy. Yeah, you and I,
as brilliant, handsome geniuses, both agreed this is the correct amount.
I'm so glad we agree, my friend. And then I just shake his
hand and absolutely discreetly put you know, my bag of coins deeper. I'm
adding a five gold to my inventory. How much though? A thousand?
Jesus, Oh my gosh, I'm removing a thousand. I love a good
commit to the biggest like bag of coin in that Sebastian shove down that pocket
and some were face like, see you in bro, We didn't miss a
thing. It's absolutely a typical Friday night I should never have. Dina comes
back from the kitchens with like a hot, steaming tray of granola, and
she's like, hmmm, oh are we done? Oh okay, I can
save this for breakfast tomorrow. Does granola get hot? You know? Granola
steams? Just eyeing you should walk out of our kitchen confused? How you
men just slip back back? Oh? Oh yes, yes, I'll just
go put this back for breakfast tomorrow. Don't worry about um. Yeah,
I'll see you tomorrow. But then I think after she's done, then she
does go up to Sebashian be like, oh sebati um I am naa Najima
from Florida, the United Sebastian, I see you gained a lot of gold
from tonight? Was this more or less as the other as last Friday night?
Oh? More dear wonderful, A lot of granola, so to speak,
and that gets her, That gets her her haunches a hackling and she's
like, she's like, um, Sebastian, you've got to teach me one
of these days how you do that? It's incredible, Well, you just
need to have a bit of showman ship. Najimas got a bad charismas she's
she's like, shit, well, maybe one of these days, Sebastianal,
but I feel like you've had a whole life of experience training. It's incredible.
But one of these days maybe we'll start small. I don't know what
would be small in this case, was sebastianal, No, don't think good
small exercises for Nagima to work on on her her God words charisma, you
mean, like smiling and she gives like those like that cat smile that's like
like grimacing with likes oh pearly white, oh god like less teeth less teeth.
Okay, there you go. Umbraa like you can hear NUMBERA talking in
all of your mind's real quick or I guess out loud? Is it out
loud? Or is it in you? In everyone cloud to everyone else?
Do you hear you hear? Umbra Chan says, I feel like something's coming.
Uh where is that coming from? Sebastian like tilts his head back and
he's sniffing because he heard something in the air. So he's just like something
in the air, like a smell. And as I said, you hear
the two iron doors that are massive slam open, drawing everyone's attention. Did
you see a finally regaled elderly human bolding hair pulled back into a ponytail,
crimson clothing, silver myth or breastplate right here at his hip, everything reaking
of nobility. It is kill you Din's friend in current co leader of the
guild. That's an entrance I would notice, And like, I don't know,
would it would it be maybe appropriate to like get on one knee as
this person enters. You've never once bested him in combat, no matter how
hard you've tried. Would that be like a respectful thing to do though to
like that, like, how would we address this person? The guild has
no formalities in terms of other than maybe a salute. It's an individual based
thing. You do know, Killian is someone who demands and keeps respect in
order. He's the if Dan is the heart and soul, Killian is the
law. Okay, I think I think No actually would take a knee and
like pat Holden on the shoulder to be like, hey, take an here.
I think Woozy would kind of walk up to him unceremoniously and give him
a sheaf of papers and be like, here's your report, Gillian. Everything
should be in there as usually. If only that was why I was here.
I have grave news. Din has betrayed us. Oh, your comrades
lay dead. Vengeance must be had. He can hear a twinge of anger
and sorrow in his voice, but controlled by years of temperament. His eyes
steal his body language, revealing absolutely nothing, no matter how hard you're trying
to mean something. We make four for the blazing coasts, small aisles with
all haste. We must recover our artifacts and put this malfeasance to rest.
Vengeance is the only course I know. Din as a friend to all of
us. He was my blood brother. Racist may be different, but I
fought at a side for decades. I was the one who recommended him from
his post. So his betrayal cost me deeper than anyone can imagine. So
these words I say with a heart most heavy. The guild must go to
war, and that is where will end? Can I get it? Can
I do an alternate comedy? Read in case you want to funny end?
Please? Just to give us some options? All right? So here's so.
While while we're hearing this, Noachi gets up and walks over to Woozy
and puts a hand on his shoulder and goes, listen, before we do
this, do you want to take a ship together for old time's sake?
Do you even need to ask? How about taking a ship side by side
with a friend. I can't help nice things