Oh yes, Hello, Hello, thank you for tuning in. Welcome to
Laura Kane after Dark. Hello, pretty lady, really you look very pretty
today? Do you like my outfit? I do. This is Eric Rimer,
my co host. Hi. I'm glad you said that because it has
something to do with tonight. We have producer Brian over there. Hi.
Before Well, no, I think we should do Okay, listen to the
secret sound first. Okay, okay, we brought back the secret sound.
If you guys have been a listener of the podcast for a while, we
used to do this and it was really fun because you could to figure out
what it is like if you want to guess, and if you guess it
correctly and we see it, you'll win one hundred bucks. That's the prize.
Wait real quick, since froun week two, I feel like you should
give a small hint as to what room you recorded it in. No,
not yet, not yet, because we're going to see because when we did
this last time, it was a while before somebody. Yeah, we got
to keep it alive and keep it like moving, then get new sound in
or something. Well, this is only the second week, so what hit?
Okay, maybe we should give like one tiny, not the room it
was recorded in. Okay, but okay, I know what to say.
We Eric and I did it together. Yeah you said that last Okay,
Well that's this week's hint. Okay, we're going That narrows it down to
two person and or one person things. Okay, we were inside. That
narrows it down to hey anything, second week, two hints already there you
go. Let's play that secret sound. Can you turn it up a little
bit? Yeah? Okay, okay, it's something you guys are doing too
close to the phone to record it. It's all that because I'm sure Eric
was doing it while you were holding the phone. And Eric definitely bumped your
phone, not necessarily my powers of deduction. Why don't you zip your lip?
I feel like he was rubbing two things together. I don't know,
long smooth motionsness against China. Oh my god. Well that didn't take long,
and that's something we can never take back. Guess Guesses, Guesses,
You can comment on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok luracane a d A, Gmail,
on YouTube. If you guess it correctly and we see it, we'll
get in hold of you and you get a hundred dollars and my girlfriend's in
the house today, Maggie Lowe. Yes, I may. She's actually spending
the night here tonight because she uh, she just is, because she is
having I spend the night. I know, aud here, are you too?
Going to be like running around in lingerie later hopefully with like kitten heels
and like hopefully we'll see, we'll see. Laura got rid of her kids
and took in all the strays she could find. Oh my god, Maggie's
no stray but no, but well, yes, anyway, it's a it's
a it's a circus. It's a circus in this in this place here.
Uh first, wait, I have gifts and I have something. What else
do I have? Oh? Oh okay, this kind of ties in with
something that I'm going to show you. But I did something and oh my
god, I got so many compliments and I got accolades like you couldn't believe.
And I felt bad about it, and I'll tell you why and what
I did. Oh boy, but it was it was awesome. But at
the same time, I feel like a fraud again. Oh boy. But
okay, so we have that. Do you know what it is, Maggie?
Oh boy? Oh no, watch no that I'm not ever going to
do again, but I'm glad I did because we got to meet David Steele.
But anyway, Okay, first we need to talk about our new sponsor,
who's not really new. They were on last year during this time.
It is the Skidaddle eighth annual five k walk at Crown Point. It's so
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the five k run walk takes place east side of Crown Point Park on Mission
Bay. Enjoy the course. I was talking to firewife. You know fireworks,
we muchuld do. We had a great conversation. We walked around.
It was great. And then afterwards there's vendors, there's some food, there's
face painting. It's just really fun. And again on the MC and there
is a link on our website, Laura can after dark if you want to
register for the walk. If you register before January seventh, and you use
the code scad fourth the number four thh, you get five dollars off your
registration fee. Do we know what time everybody is meeting at. I believe
it's like seven thirty or eight o'clock in the morning. Okay, so it's
gonna be early early, but not like Hella. Right. Sure, it's
really a really fun time. I had such a good time. And here's
a new little logo. They have a new logo. I love that.
I know, I love that. They call it cattle. Anyway, thank
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And Okay, so I try or I want to do this every month,
and I'm going to start doing it every month, and I think we
should call it instead of Laura's sixty nine dollars Outfit of the Month, I
think it should be called Laura's Cheapass Outfit of the Month because this time it's
cheap ass. We should not put swear words online. Doesn't like swear words,
okay, well cheapo cheepo cheapo sure, Okay. Anyway, so I
wore this outfit which I will stand up and show you to Manhattan restaurant with
the girls the other night for Tad's birthday. Yes, and a waiter under
his breath, but kind of walked by me and he said, that is
a really nice dress. What that didn't happen? I swear to God.
And he was like, why would I lie about that? I don't know.
Well, because to prove that you have a good fit. No,
and he was like maybe twenty five. I was like, okay, I
gotta go on on. So a twenty five year old guy walked by and
complimented me under his older women. It was like, it's a really good
dress. I believe it, and you like you said, I looked really
nice when I walked in. Okay, let me stand up and show you
the whole thing. Okayeah, no, wonder he liked the dress. Dress,
I had your legs bread and since you can't see my whole body,
I'll show you the shoes, which are super co Oh you're gonna okay and
stone really yeah, there we go, there we go. Okay, I'm
just gonna keep my hand here. Oh my god, I just flash everybody
because we don't know. I think you're fine. I think you're fine because
we don't edit this. I think you're fine. Wow, just put a
big face of a beaver over it if you see you know what, I
don't even care. No, you should care, because it'll get the channel
taken down. I have underwear on. It's not like I'm like showing be
Okay, it's fine. It's like we could call this episode leave it to
be. You can check beforehand if you want to, Okay, okay,
okay. So these are the shoes that go with aren't those so cute?
These woven little like platform shoes. Okay? And then I was wearing the
purse I had was an Eaves Laurent, this color of like a off white,
and I had it going on. And you know how much this entire
outfit on, shoes, purse, dress, It's on the website by the
way, Yeah, so much salt dollars, well close fifty six dollars.
Because so I take it that Eve Saint Laurent was Evie Saint Laurent. Yeah,
that is from I bought it from the same street I bought the watch
from. Okay, Okay, so it streets that canal Okay, that makes
sense. Okay, So the dress is from I don't like saying Temu,
I don't feel it doesn't feel right coming out of my mouth. But it's
from Timu, Timu eleven dollars and ninety nine cents. I wonder it constantly
hikes up above your butt. Well, it's it's very cute. I bet
that that waiter who said there was nice dress. I bet you didn't realize,
but your dress was like around your waist or something, and he was
like a nice dress. Suit, it's nice. Stop it's not wearing any
pants. The shoes were on clearance at Walmart for fifteen dollars, so eleven
ninety nine, fifteen dollars, and then the purse I think was thirty,
So I mean I had it going on for fifty six dollars. I'm sorry,
touch those shoes. Touch them. Okay, I'm sorry, but mister,
I'm never setting foot in a Walmart. What did you just say to
me the other day? What did you just declare to me the other day
that I had to go there and buy bins for my storage in it?
And you actually no, he said he did not have a bad time there.
He actually enjoyed Target because I haven't met Target, and it's so much
cheaper. Walmart is great. Anyway, I'm with Eric on this one.
You have huge feet. Well that makes sense. What kind of shoes are
those? Puma's? They're the Mercedes Benz Oh Mercedes. Oh my god?
Are those new? Yes? Where did you get them at the outlet?
I got them at Puma? Oh okay, I was a pretty Okay,
he's one up on me. But anyway, that's my Laura's chief Ot outfit
of the month. And you can see if you want, there's links.
I put a link to the dress in the shoes if you want to buy
them. Anyway, very cute. It's very hard doing this with two men
because I'm not getting any love. But that's what I don't need to.
I said, you look Fay, you did, and thank you very much.
Jeff, your show was mostly men. I know. Wait, okay,
I would like you to Are you going to talk about it in a
minute? Okay? About my post on Instagram? There's going to be a
reunion. Oh wait? What? Okay, I don't know if I'm supposed
to talk about it. Who's hosting it? Nobody? Well, it's I
don't think I should talk about it just yet. Okay, Okay, tell
us after and forget I ever said. But just let me just put it
this way. We're all going to be together in August. Oh that that
all of us. We're talking Jeff, Jared, Tommy, Randy, Emily
and me. Okay, you know what, I'm crashing this because I'm I
got screwed over for the wedding. Sorry, has been's only well he was
kind of part of the show a lot of the times. He was one
of our best like callers, frequent caller. I don't know if really counts
as the cast. I'm crashing it. Okay. So first, this is
a very big day for you. I have many gifts for you. Oh
my god. Two of the gifts are from our friend Maggie. Okay,
and they're wearable and we have to wear them right now. Okay, I'm
in. Are you sure in? Okay, I'm going to pull them out
right now. Whatever Maggie gets me, I love Okay, Okay, why
why why is she saying that, Maggie like this, here's your do you
know? In my in my closet because I have a walk in closet.
I have these displayed on the wall, the one that we had from Yeah,
he wears. These were all the Pride, he goes to, Yeah,
the zero zero. Here are the sunglasses that go with them. This
is just Elton John. Look though, this isn't even like a gay pride
thing. This is Elton John. This is this is fantastic. You do
look good. Listen, and I have mine. Oh my god, here
is great. I have the world's biggest head. You guys. Look,
it's not fit fabulous communists. Look at how high it sits on my head.
I have a huge head. Oh my god, no hat it.
Oh my god, this is great. Now you know Ace hardware in Hillcrest.
Yes, I can't even put on the headphones. It's behind your head.
Oh yeah, okay, so they have so many cool, like cute,
weird fun things. I found something for you, oh boy, that
I just had to get. Okay, please read what this little put him
over the front. I just won't put him on. I don't even want
I put him over the lip. Oh, over the lip, over the
lip. There you go. God, you guys are like Nazi essays.
But this is good. Oh my gosh, it's great. Oh I'm not
going to do it. There is law can all right? This is for
you. Please just read it. Read it. Out loud before you read
it to yourself. Just read it out loud. If I say, let
me check my calendar, you should know I'm lying and just don't want to
participate. I lost my calendar twenty sixteen. He's the only human being on
the planet that has a paper calendar. I do, and we cannot make
any plans until he checks that paper for calendar. I'm going to defend him
because I think paper calendars are awesome, but not not the ones you hang
on your wall. I like leather bound calendar. That's what I have in
my bag. Oh, and they're awesome. I have never used mine because
I don't know he is unable to make a commitment without checking that paper calendar.
I don't want to double book myself. Well, why don't you just
put it on your phone? Because I don't know how he's got that calendar
and he's still is late to the podcast. This is this is what I
think, Oh my god, this is the best thing. You don't want
to do it ever. And then I found this, which is I don't
know where you're going to put it, but it needs to be displayed somewhere,
okay, because YO gifted Oh my god, it says gifted. I've
been lucky enough to to check it out lot. I know it's impressive.
What can I say? I got to give my man props here. Thank
you. You're blessed for his kickstand pretty much pretty much once you get to
his age. It does prevent you from rolling out of bed in the morning,
oh my gosh. Well and then when well always he doesn't wear underwear,
and a lot of the times he wears pants that are very, very
sheer. So that's when you need to be careful. Okay, shearer,
I'm very wearing Amyse and the like. I mean when we had our v
house event, you were wearing the thinnest pants I'd ever seen on the man.
Like the tightest pants. Yeah, oh they were tight, but they
weren't They weren't thin. They were tight though, Yeah they were tight their
pants were you see, they were any tighter you would have seen, you
would have it would have been like spandex. Okay, So those are your
gifts. You're welcome, You're thank you, Maggie, my two girlfriends.
Okay. So when I went to Manhattan in this outfit that the twenty five
year old commented on and complimenting me on, thank you very much. It
was Tad's birthday and his thirteenth anniversary being the piano player at Manhattan. Well,
he was entertaining everybody, and it's a dinner place, so people are
eating while he's playing the piano, and then like the later it gets,
the more people get up and dance and stuff like that. Well nobody was
really saying anything like, you know, happy birthday, this is you're here
thirteen years da da da dah. So I took it upon myself and like
I need to get on the mic and make a big deal about him,
just to like, oh boy, just to honor him because we go there
a lot and we're become friends. So I was like thinking that, yes,
he's been on our show. And I was trying to write out lyrics
to the song fly Me to the Moon about Tad, and I was just
having such a hard time. And then I remembered something I I did this
thing. I had it ready. I told him, Hey, I have
something that I would like to read to you, a poem. Is that
okay if I take the mic after you're done with this song? He said
sure. I went up. I read this poem pretty much standing ovation people
were coming up to me after I read it, like throughout the night,
saying that was so amazing. I can't even believe he wrote that you did
such a great job. That what a great tribute. Blah blah blah blah.
Oh no, I didn't. I just got went to my chat GBT
app. Oh my god, it's a poem that Is there a charge for
that app? Or is it free? I think I don't know. Okay,
So what I did was this, I said, write a poem for
Tat. He plays the piano, he has curly hair, he has a
tan, he plays any song. He's really nice, like any just like
little random, random, random random, be good because you hyped it up
so much already. Oh I don't where's my phone? Anyway? It spit
out within seconds this poem that was so well crafted. You know, your
phone's on the ground next to you. Hold on. I don't know if
I can pull it up. Yes, you can on the other side of
the couch. Because I've done other things since I it's still there. We're
gonna have to assault and a natural born killer or that. What's the movie?
Basically? I know that's not cool on YouTube. Okay, let me
see if it's still here. But like the people I was with were like,
wow, you're that. It was so good, you're so And of
course I didn't tell anybody what am I gonna do. I just accepted the
uh the compliment everybody knows. Now give you that. I want to give
you that tip history. Okay, here we go. Uh ah, okay,
let's see. Okay, Harry go ready. You know, just gave
me a great idea. What we're all gonna write tributes to each other using
chat GBT. I love it. I'm good. Okay, here we go.
In Manhattan's Heart, Tad takes the stage a maestrove piano, a singer
with grace, his curly hair and warm tan glow. He brings joy to
all, a talent that shows his worn out keys bear testament true to the
countless hours he's played for me and you. Yet he's not weary. His
passion is still strong. Just beginning his journey where dreams belong, he fills
our souls with melodies sweet, we love him, Dearly, our Heart skip
a beat, songs of all eras. His voice does embrace. But tonight,
let's spare him the piano Man's space. He doesn't like playing that song.
Oh, I had to find that out ahead of time. When he
opens his mouth, we go wild. Our feet can't still. And still
they danced like a child, tickling the ivories, his fingers so fleet.
He captivates us all a musical feat. So raise your glasses. Let the
celebration begin to tad the musician. The joy from within, cheers to his
talent, his spirits so free. We love him dearly now and for eternity
that everybody, well, not according to every single person that came up to
me throughout the night. Now that and I mean, come on it,
spit it out within a seconds. Oh, I believe in chat GPT's capabilities.
But that's still nothing. I mean, that's isn't that I mean?
But that it's uninspired? It is, Well, are you impressed a little
bit? Would you have been impressed if you would have seen me up there?
Since? Yes, thinking that I would have that, I wrote that
I have literally I think I would have been impressed to I would not have
recommended you become probably given you a lap dance. I think we should do
your idea and put little facts. All you have to do is put like
a little little like tidbits of like, yeah, like what you look like,
your characteristics and dah da da da and it let's see what it spits
out. Okay, we'll do that next weeks. I'm gonna write you a
poem right now. Oh see, it'll okay, fine, whatever, that's
great. My god, that is the funny everything. Oh my god,
that is hilarious. I know, I know, I know. So okay,
then I have a question. Yes, it's about well, don't okay,
don't get all but hurt and like yell at me again. Oh,
it's about the upcoming wedding, which is happening. He was thrown over for
for Stacy. Thanks Stacy. Yeah, Charlie's getting married. When I'm Maggie,
I'm crashing at I'm gonna get trashed on the plane. I'm trying to
trying to be heartfelt. Gotta throw up right on her, my only son
getting married, and this is what happens. He can't get over it,
and then I'm gonna veto everything. I'm probably gonna kick the cake over,
tip the table over, and that the cake's on. So the wedding is
very chill. It's it's not like your traditional wedding and the theme is like
garden party, like kind of floral. Great, then I'm going to bing
a weed whacker and mow down all the flowers. Now, look, I
can't wear white because yo, we don't do that at a white I can't
wear black because you don't do that a funeral. You can't wear red because
that stands out too much in pictures. Right, I'm worried about like the
if I pick a floral pattern, it might be too busy. I'm stressing
about what I'm going to wear to this one. I would wear like a
pastel, wear a spring color like those like the really soft like yellow or
a soft pink. Now what style? I'm the mother of the groom,
but I don't want to be dowdy. How it depends on how formal wedding
it is. It's not super it's not like, oh my god, no,
no, it's not formal. It's not super formal. Does this mean
we're gonna you know what, even though you're throwing me over for Stacy,
I will help you, will you? Yes? When is the wedding the
twenty first, so we don't have much time July? Yes, I know,
I can't even wait. It's going to be so great. But I
you know, the goal is when you're a woman and you're invited to somebody's
wedding, you do not upstage to the bride. Right, your media gonna
You're gonna have to keep these at a minimum. I know, I know
I will do that. But can I wear sleeves or can I wear just
like no sleeves? Is that is that inappropriate? Have you been to a
wedding before. Yeah, well, I'm just saying, like it's my son's
wedding. I just want to make sure that I'm appropriate, But I want
to don't want to be dowdy mother. It's a summer wedding, so it's
to be a little bit more casual, something airy and something like softas so
below the knee. Yes, for sure, you're overthinking it, but yeah,
I am a mini skirt. I just I just don't want to be
something slowly, just something nice, right, but not too loud as far
as you could if it's something you could wear the church. I don't church
in sol, I know, but still you get the idea. I will
help you. Okay, this thing's giving me the biggest headaches. Oh,
by the way, I have a poem for you. Okay, here we
go. Okay, I want to know what all right? No, I
don't what do you mean that things giving you a headache? I told you
I have a huge head. It doesn't fit. Oh my god, are
you right? Yes, it's fine, okay, because you have a little
perfect head. Excuse me? All right, red spotlight, all right.
In the realm of radio soft embrace, Laura came once failed her place on
the waves of Jeff and Jair. Her voice a melody, lighta's air.
Yet when she penned her poems, fair the words they hung in empty air
for inspiration, spark, it seemed had slipped away from Laura. Her verses
flowed a steady stream, but lacked the fervor, lacked the gleam of passions,
fire, bright and bold. Her story is told, but left us
school. Laura, with your radiant smile, your heart's so warm, your
gracier style, May you find the muse you seek to color words, to
make them speak, for in the silence, there's a song waiting for you
all along. Okay, that part's too compliment. What the hell did you
put in there? That I that? I uh, I put a poem
about someone and I'm not now. I put write a poem Aboutlaura Kane,
who used to be on the Jeff and Jerry Show, about how her poetry
is uninspired. Oh my god, well whatever, you guys, whatever.
I think that I had a brilliant idea when I did that, and I
just wanted to share, all right in the meantime. You know what I've
been doing a lot lately is grunting. What have you been grunting? When
you get up and down? Honey? I know every single time I do
anything, I don't advise getting old. Is that the one that Brian?
Is that the one you use? The green? The white one? It's
this one right there? Yeah, chat gbt, Okay, the world is
a random news. Give me some music while you guys are not paying attention
to me. Hey, I've got some good stuff here. I know you
want to hear another one, Well, yes, go ahead. In the
annals of radio a name we hear Laura's came who whose fame once near On
the Jeff and Show she did shine, But in her poetry there's little divine.
She scribbles lines without a spark. Her words fall flat, They miss
the monk a poet's soul. She cannot claim for her vessels, bring her
only shame. Oh my god, her mother for's limp. Her rhymes are
poor, Her imagery lacks, her themes a bore. She crass with the
hands that know no art. Her poetry has no art to do. I
say, you really went down in flames with chat GBT. I know,
I'm actually impressed by how good. Don't worry, mins gonna be really good.
You better some nice facts about me. You're all going to be nice
or put in some interesting things. I don't know, whatever, do whatever
you want. I don't care anymore. It's going to be probably horrible and
mean. No, mine isn't okay? Good should be I know totally.
Oh, the world's largest museum for poop just opened in Williams, Arizona,
near the Grand Canyon. Go or what do they even have to show fossilized
poop? And the museum is called the Poosium Mine. Guess what road track?
Oh God, so going to the most expensive vintage toy ever has been
sold at auction for five hundred and twenty five thousand dollars, and he guesses
as to what vintage toy it could possibly be? The Ragged Doll anti doll
that was in the Conjuring Museum. Nope. Not even a hot wheel,
Nope. An original Star Wars Boba Fett. Yeah, action figure from nineteen
seventy nine. Yep, it makes it the most expensive vintage toy ever.
Yeah. Those things sell for a fortune. And you know what, my
brother has all of them. They got to still be in the cases though,
you mean, like the boxes, original packaging. You want the big
money he has? Do you know that case that has that It was like
the face of Darth Vader. Yeah, he has that. Yeah, but
it's still and theyre probably were some money. But if you want the if
you want the big money, you need the original packaging. What are you
sick of people trying to convince you is great? Here are some things.
Starting a business. People try to convince you you should start a business,
be your own boss. It's not as great as I think. The problem
is that people who think they're doing that are not actually starting their own business.
Like they're not actually starting their own business. Are you laughing? What's
going on? Why does she do it? Why? Phones? I look
like no, I like this out. Just take that I'm wearing a home
Take the phones off. Oh my god, I think funny is happening.
I don't know why, you guys, I look like Mickey Mouse for a
second. Maggie, you're disturbing the entire program. Not funny is happening.
Well, we're not in the loop. I'm in the loop. It just
like it's just I love Meggie's left so much. Oh my god. Another
thing is running. Running is running sucks? Running? Running sucks. Now.
I only run if someone's chasing every time, then every slow. I
really really wish I loved it. I want the runners high. I want
to feel that you didn't. I used to run every other day. Did
you enjoy it? No? I hated it every second? Oh my god.
And I used to run with my mom, who is you know,
misfitness? Yes, she loved it. Probably she would drag drag my ass
out there and run. Do you do you like it or don't like it?
When people say, oh my gosh, you have to watch this TV
show, it's the greatest thing in the world. I love them when people
do that, you do love it? Oh, speaking of oh, I
got one too, Oh I am Have you watched Owning Manhattan? No?
I don't know what that is? So good? Is it like selling Sunset.
Yeah. And then I watched last night the new Nicole Kidman Zach Efron
movie A family. Oh see, I won't do that because it's wrong.
Calm it's I can't. It was dumb. I didn't like it. We
need a we are going to have a family outing to see long legs.
You want to? I heard it's fantastic, let's do it. Also,
I've got something. I just watched Amazon Prime original show. It's been out
for a while now, but the boys, Oh yeah, I heard lots
about it, and I was like, yeah, whatever, like you know,
I see that all the time and the same same, And I watched
it and it's fucking fantastic. Stick. It is so good now. It
is incredibly shocking though it is very like gory and very it pushes it.
Is it like supernatural? Like oh, superpowers type of thing? Like I
don't know, kind of, but it's if like what if at one point
we had developed superheroes and then they became bought out by a corporation and they
became pretty shitty people. It's it's actually incredibly good. Wow. I saw
on Friday night A Quiet Place Day one. Oh. I heard that was
phenomenal. It was fantastic. Really was it better than the first? A
quiet place? Really is? Are the same people in it? No,
it's Sloopita Nango and I forget who the guy was that was in it.
Dijmon Hinzu is in it, and it's really scary. It was, but
the backstory was really good. But long Legs family outing Wait, I know,
okay, No ka can be pretty good. They there is this this
company that makes kombucha's. They're flavored like sodas, and they're great. I
have had some good ones, and then I've had some that just tastes like
salty vinegar. I'm not supposed to. I think they have alcohol in them,
right, yeah, but like that a little bit. It's like point
zero five percent. But still I mean, yeah, noo noo for me?
Uh ice baths, who's for you? Yeah? Hot yoga? I
used to I love doing hot I used to things. I won't do it
though, Oh my god, you feel so good when you're done. Yea
cruises, no, no, thank you. You know what, if you're
cheap, they'll give them that they're cheap. If you want vacation. Let
me just say I don't like kids. Oh I will never go on a
cruise after watching the movie The Triangle of Sadness. God, was not the
worst thing ever for me. It was traumatizing. You wouldn't want to ever
go whale watching either. Oh I won't go well watches people, I will
not. I won't. That's why I won't because I'm not afraid of me
beingstick. I just can't see people puking off the side of the watching and
I think everybody around you, oh my god, no, no, thank
you, no, thank you. And then Ai is one of them too.
And then I have one Okay, this one I'm interested to hear.
I was gonna speaking. Oh no, go ahead, just remind me of
the kid's story that I need to tell you before. What's why I will
never have a kid? Okay, just tell it right now? Why the
female anatomy. Wow, I had somebody come in the other day with a
kid. How old was the kid? Maybe? Six? Okay? With
you know, if you if I went into more detail about what I did
for a living, giving a kid, this is like giving like a pyromaniac
matches. They gave the kid chocolate pudding and a spoon, and so the
kid comes in and okay, they walk into my office. Nose all,
oh, oh god, my eyes started water. I was like, I
thought the kid had filled his diaper, like it smelled like just shit,
and I was like, oh my god, and it was so strong,
and I'm like, oh, so we go. We're in the elevator going
up, and the smell is just so. Now there's four of us in
a contained space. You're talking about the pudding smelled like goop. No,
I didn't know what I thought this whole time. The kid had filled his
diaper, okay, and a six year old with a diaper, uh okay,
I mean or five? I don't I didn't know. But I don't
even know how long they have to wear diapers. Who knows. I probably
have a kid that was fourteen and still in diapers. I don't know.
So I'm ready to gag because the smell is so bad and we're all crammed
in this elevator and I'm all, oh, I'm gonna throw up. So
the kid starts like jumping up and down. I'm like, don't jump up
and down like total militant. The parents aren't doing anything, so I go,
don't jump up and down in the elevator. And the dad goes why,
and I go because it'll show that there's an earthquake, it's seismic,
so it'll it'll freeze the elevator. So he's like, don't jump in the
elevator. So the kid stops, looks at me, takes the spoon out
of the pudding, end goes yeah, and throws it on the floor of
the elevator. So it's like white marble on the elevator floors, and I'm
alloo, And the only thing I thought of is I was like, I
have Gucci pants on in that pudding got on my pants or shoes. There's
gonna be three people in this elevator that are not going to be breathing by
the time this sits the floor that we're on. Now, this all happened
in literally like a matter of seconds. So I look down and just the
way the spoon landed, it was almost like the parting of the Red Sea.
So the chocolate pudding went on either side of me of your Gucci pan
because then the kid dropped the whole thing, so it took the spoon and
was like yeah, and I look. I just turn and look at the
parents, and the mom completely unfazed. Like nothing happened. I just keep
looking at the dad, and the dad's all yeah, I'll go back downstairs
and clean that up. And I'm all great. So we get into the
place. The kid's running around touching everything and I'm like, oh my god,
your hands are full of pudding, like, don't touch anything. And
the mom's like, sit right there. The kid sits on like a chair,
and the smell, I'm like it was from the water bottle. So
the mom's walking around and comes out and I'm literally catches me going like this,
and she goes, oh, yeah, sorry about the smell. It's
black pepper sulfur water. And I look at her and I'm all why,
like, why would you If I even put that up to my I would
throw up. It smelled like rotten eggs and poop. Did she give you
a reason as to why she was drinking? But then we were all googling.
Yeah, I know, what's the health benefit? You googled him,
what's the health benefit? You know what. I loved having kids. I
loved raising my kids. I loved them. I loved every every single stage
of their lives. I would never do it again. It was hard as
hell. It's hard having a kid. None of my friends had braddy kids.
Oh yeah, my kids were never bratty, but they were never bratty.
No, never, I would not allow it. But I don't.
I can't deal with other people's kids. See, braddy kids are the worst.
Yeah, my mom would have My friends never would their kids get away
with that. My kids never told me to f you, called me a
bitch, said I hate you. Never. They never did any of those
things because they knew, like, actually, I have one of my sisters,
I forget what. But she asked my mom. She was really little,
like maybe six or seven. She asked my mom she could do something.
It was something like probably not safe for a six year old to do,
and my mom said, no, you can't do that. She goes,
I hate you, and my mom said excuse me, and my sis
just starts screaming and crying and running because she knew something so bad. I
want to know what you guys think is the one word text that is the
worst to receive? Okay, one word one word text? What is the
one word text that is the worst to receive? Well? In what context
someone did to study? I don't know. Is something I was just like,
what what what is your guests, it's not kay, and it's not
okay by, it's not by, And I think you probably texted this sty
No, fine, you're on this plane, you're on the you're on the
right track. Whatever. No, oh that's a good one. It's sure
oh all the time. But you it's hard to read into how you're saying
sure. That's what they're saying, like like if you're like, do you
want to go have dinner tonight? Sure? Like are you saying it like
sure? Sure? Like enthusiastically are you saying like sure? Like I don't
even care. I would always use like an exclamation point after yeah, this
is like no punctuation, what's oh yeah, I'm sure I've done that.
I don't. I think that's I think it's a little bit of a stretch
to find the pessimistic meaning on that by like default. Well, anyway,
that's what this story I think. I think if you said ok versus sure,
I think okay would be way worse. Like they said yep, wait
wait sures on there, and then what was the other one? Oh yep
with a period. That's also bad. Oh yeah, that's way worse.
That's way worse. Yeah, or great without an exclamation point. I say
great all the time. That's normal. That an exclamation who? Yes,
who did these studies institute of like uselessness or pretty much it doesn't even say
it's an article, some article anyway. That is my random news. And
you know what, that is a show. We packed a lot into a
show. I think you're welcome. You look great, and I hope you
use that now in study or other precious, you know, glorious calendar that
you cannot be without or make plans without looking at. That calendar drives me
crazy. It drives her. I can't stand his calendar. He can't do
anything, he can't plan anything, he can't say yes to anything until each
exa and he always leaves it somewhere where it's not accessible. It's with me
tonight. Oh my god. Whatever. Phone calendars you literally have a calendar
on this back wall. I don't, but I also put everything in my
phone to phone calendars are the worst. I have a work calendar and I
hate it. Thank you, girlfriend, thank you, Oh my god,
see my girl right there, yeah, I know your girl who's not on
the mic. You can't even my girl? Yeah right here, Yes,
we love you Maggie. All right, well, thank you so much for
listening to you guys. Thank you. It was fun, fun week,
I hope. Oh happy fourth of July. Oh, oh my gosh,
I'm I'm sure I'm going to have some good stories. I work all week,
and I work tomorrow too. It's so fun being feeling. Oh wow,
you work tomorrow the fifth. Tomorrow's not the fifth. Well, if
we're dropping this episode on the fourth line, then it is the fifth and
I worked on the fourth of July two. But it's okay. I'm grateful.
That's good. Yes, are you flying the helicopter on the fourth?
No, I don't know how. I loved it. Yeah, that's a
that's a dope ass job. I would about that, dope dude. Okay,
So I showed you the picture of the dunes of Coronado that actually spell
at cornatdo beach, right. I didn't know. I lived in Cornado for
five years and I never knew that. I never knew that either. From
the helicopter you can see it's this Cornado a plaque. There's a plaque out
by the dunes that say what they're about. It is cool. I'll show
you the picture I was born and raised here. I have never right,
you guys are crazyh God, the pilot the other day when I did this
by myself, So my first time, I did it alone and I was
so nervous, and I over the Delmar fire and I got close ups of
the flames and I got close ups of them dropping the water on the flames
and getting the water out of the ocean and oh yeah, oh yeah.
But he goes as we were going back to base, which is Gillespie,
he goes on Mount Helix. There's a house that's round, Yeah, that
spins. It's very famous. I never knew and we flew over. It
looks like a hockey put. It's on one ball bearing, one ball bearing
Mount Helix. So yeah, I know exactly the house you're talking about.
Oh my god, it was so cool on TV. It was designed by
a very famous architect. You actually had to create a new system for keeping
pipes intact. While yeah it is so it's just so cool the things you
could see from the helico. Have you never been to East County before?
I just remember I didn't know about that. And did you know they built
a roller skating rink kit the Dell. Yeah, yeah, there every no
not skating roller skating. It's there right now, it's temporary. Did you
know that some of the guys who committed nine eleven had connections to Gillespie Field.
That's true? Wait? What? Yeah? Right? Is this allegedly?
Were they taking flying classes there something? Oh so, or at least
at very least one of their instructors who didn't know what they were planning or
anything was was a Gillespie based instructor or something? Wow? Well, okay,
let's not crop all over is great? I'm just trying now bring it,
bring it down. I thought we were just talking about fun facts.
Super Now it's not fun to me. It brings down the whole segment.
No, it doesn't to me. Now I'm sad. Now I feel bad.
I feel horrible. It was it was like twenty four years ago.
Feel horrible twenty three. Don't feel hard? What's going to make me feel
better? Ending this podcast? Okay, you want me to show you this?
Can I see your pick? Well? Dude, all right, and
the and the fucking show? Please? That would make me how much I
love and the show. You guys are about to get in trouble. Oh
come on, and we've done worse than that. No, I don't know
that. I feel like that crossed the line. That seems weird. If
that's gonna make mommy. That across the line after him talking about like kicking
me in the badge, Yeah, that's different. When did I talk about
that on this show? You always say that when you okay, when you
say can I see your dick pick please? I don't know that feels that
feels worse. Okay, and the show and the show. I won't call
HR. That's me. Yeah, we're not worried about HR not calling.
All right, we'll cut that out along with my flashing everybody it's standing there.
Oh god. Anyway, thank you for listening and watching you. We
love you very much. Welcome Skidaddle and to the podcast. Thank you so
much. And I can't wait to EMC and the Hoya Cosmetic Surgery Center,
my doctor Readler and Jay Wursler from Capitol Worth Thy Money. Love your podcast,
Love your podcast. I love you, my sweet bye bye