Tip dec Media. See all right, and welcome back to see you at
the body Richta. I am one of your hosts. Joseph bet Castro joining
me as always is the Czar, Aaron Frescas. Hello, and a little
zay chunuk Chris Chapman dah And just so everybody knows, that means little rabbit,
female rabbit or a little female rabbit or bunny. So you were buddy.
Today we're going to be continuing our coverage of Arnold's nineteen eighty eight action
buddy cop vehicle Red Heat. Yeah, and we're just gonna be getting into
the summary. And Chris, why don't go ahead and take it away?
Sure, let's talk about this movie that. Yeah, let's get this over
with. We open in a Russian bathhouse where lots of nude men and women
are working out and bathing. We see Arnold walking through, and I am
immediately blown away by his acting here, as he doesn't even glance at all
these bros who desperately need a spotter or all this iron just begging to be
pumped. Anyway, he meets up with some other burly Russian dudes who put
a hot rock in his hand because they suspect that he's not one of them.
He takes the heat for a minute and then decides fuck it and punches
one of the dudes out of a window. What kind of heat was it?
What kind of heat? Like a wormish pink sort of heat stone heat
scarlet? Yeah, like a rouge. That was also a spin Old Thorson
right, I'm pretty sure yeah, that was spin there. I think,
yeah, he's in this movie, but yes or whatever that guy was.
Yeah, that decidedly not Russian dude. Yeah, but a funny story.
Right before we went to record this, we were at a bar in the
Castro, which is the gay district here in San Francisco. Also, haven't
seen my last name, but there's a movie on and had Jerry Stiller in
it, and I was like asking a dude on there because he's like watching
it and laughing, like what is that? He's like, Oh, it's
like ritz. It's kind of based on this old bathhouse in New York that
Bette Miller got her start in. How old was the movie? That was
probably late seventies, early eighties. Okay, I've never seen him in anything
before the nineties. I think, yeah, thinking about it, but yeah,
I guess Bette Miller got started at this like bathhouse and he's like,
it was a gay bathhouse, and I was like, is there bathhouses that
aren't gay? And then he's like, well, you know, I don't
know, but the kind of AIDS crisis kind of ended the whole bathhouse thing.
I'm like, that's why I don't know about it. So, yeah,
that wasn't actually part of my notes, but that just happened right before
I came in. But my one note is maybe if like gyms were like
that more, I'd probably go more because like boobs and yeah, and Arnold
but yeah, yeah, do you guys think that it was an Arnold's contract
that he had the biggest taste during his opening scene? Definitely, absolutely,
and the tightest buns. All right, let's see. Oh yeah, so
he punched the dude out of the window. From there, we get some
extremely straight naked snow wrestling and when when Arnold wins, he interrogates good Old
s fenn Thorson to find the location of one Victor ROSTA cut to Moscow as
we get the credits and see that Arnold is a cop with him and his
partner preparing for the operation to arrest Rosta a drug deal are bringing cocaine into
the Soviet Union. So two things about these opening credits. Number One,
I liked that the Russian looking font that they're using, I like it.
Two, I love how he's credited as Larry fishburn Yeah, that's great.
So that was definitely a thing, like he was Larry Larry fishburn until I
don't know, well after this movie, but when he was like on Boys
in the Hood, but maybe I'm wrong, Yeah, when he was Cowboy
Curtis, he was Larry Fishburne, and yeah, Boys in the Hood for
sure, I'm guessing switch Over. So I actually have this on DVD and
I literally never watched it, but I've had it from the point where this
DVD is. I mean, first of all, it's a DVD, so
how fucking long have I had it? And two it's one of those where
it's like one side is white screen and one side is the screen. But
in the credits, so it was aft like if you look at the cast
and crew, Arnold, you know, it shows his movies and then the
last one that shows is Batman and Robin so before turnin Air three and whatever
came after, and then also was an early DVD. Then yeah it is,
its name is Lawrence quote Larry Fishburn. And then one other thing on
the Rizzes album Bobby Digital. Method Man has a rhyme I think they came
out in ninety seven ninety eight. Method Man has a rhyme that says like,
I'm like Larry when the fishburns, I burn rubber. So that never
made any sense to me until I learned that Laurence Fishburn us to be Larry
Fishburn. That's about all I gotten on that. I wonder if that DVD
came out even before the Matrix. I don't know. Nine, I don't
know. Well, yeah, because uh wait, when was I remember watching
One of the first tvds I watched was Staving Private Ryan that what like ninety
eight? I think, yeah, seven where Run? There was something before
that I went that. I remember watching with your with your dad Chris at
an old Dale Deep But I was like, yeah, it looks fine.
I guess I don't know. It's it's really loud, is what it is.
Yeah, well that is just my dad's He just liked super loud.
Yeah, same whatever. But so also with those those quick shots or sorry,
also with the credits we also get a few quick shots of some pretty
famous like Russian statues throughout the opening credits, including one statue near the end
of the credits stats of and I don't know much about Russian culture, but
I'm pretty sure it's like a statue of a famous philosopher and socialist icon Kenny
Rogers. It's either I couldn't tell if it was him or r J McCready
Kurt Russell's character from the Thing. But then I was like, oh,
if you put a if you put a cap on him, it could be
Yukon Cornelius too, or like Rob Williams from when he's freed from Jumanji.
I don't know either way one of those, which is like which one?
Which one? How could you not make a Moscow on the Hudson joke?
There? Come on Moscow in the Hudson. Yeah, that's another one out
there. How could you not make that? Because that's a reference? Yeah,
that's a Robin Williams movie. Everybody's seen, right, Yeah, definitely
not just me because there's boobs in it. Yeah, kidding, you name
this movie for people that don't know. I mean, but what's the name
of the moscow? Moscal on the Hudson. Yeah, Williams is a Russian
guy in New York. All right, that's it. That's that's like the
whole movie that. Yeah, apparently it's Karl Marx. I've never heard button.
I don't know. He's one of the Marx brothers, right, yes,
legend, that makes sense. Yeah, he's the fuck He plays the
straight man. He he he wants to give the comedy to everybody, you
know, equal equal comedy for everyone. He made sure that the jokes were
dispensed amongst Alder brothers exactly. Okay, I'm so glad you guys have jokes
for this, because I fucking I have a lot of jokes for this.
I'm glad it's either jokes or pointing out why it's bad. Yeah, all
right, let's see. By the way, Joe, just to let you
you do, you only watched it once, right, correct? Okay,
I didn't mind it, Like Chris and I were talking before we started recording,
but I didn't mind it. The second time around was a fucking slog.
So the first time I was like, this movie wasn't too bad.
The second time I was like, oh my god, why is the scene
in here? Oh my god? Which one pointing out, which if I
was he, I'd be like, dude, the movie wasn't that bad until
you watch it a second time. Then you're like, you really don't want
to watch this movie a second time. God, yeah, taking the notes
was hard for me, all right. So uh from here, Arnold goes
into a bar to arrest Rosta, but it quickly devolves into a shootout after
Arnold insults Rosta's favorite amputee, which was awesome. Arnold's partner pursues Rosta while
Arnold pursues Roasta's brother. Rostyle Victor is actor. His name his The actor's
name is ed O Ross, who I've only ever seen play a Russian but
he's actually from Pittsburgh. Yes, my exact note. Yeah, it's funny.
He just his name is ed o' ross o Ross. I don't I'm
pretty sure it's not Russian, but he just definitely has a Russian look.
And another joke I have is like a fake leg full of cocaine in Soviet
Russia. That's how you get leg up. I was trying. I was
trying to make a yea yeah, I was trying to make those through the
whole movie, and I was the only one. I have one of those.
I should have tried more, though, So Roasta's brother gets trapped between
Arnold and some cops and Arnold is forced to shoot him in self defense,
and then Arnold's partner gets the drop on Rosa, but Roasta kills him with
a spring loaded gun hidden up his sleeve, and Arnold's partner is great,
like his handcuffs would be a good idea, is like it apparently could you
possibly like incapable of maintaining any sort of inner dialogue? He's like a freeze,
you are under wrist hmm, maybe I should bring out the handcuffs now,
and like you, I don't know. It was just weird, like
why did they include that line? There are several lines in this movie that
I find completely perplexing. It's it's like when you're playing a Singer single player
game. You know, I've been playing Terminator Resistance well at the moment because
my fingers don't work, But there's so much of that like hmm, like
you're you're out there trying to hide from like terminators and shit in a wasteland
and the dudes just say, hmm, I wonder if that's the place that
Aaron's talking about. It's like, why are you saying that out aloud?
Like terminators can fucking hear you. But like it's a video game, you
gotta have like have an inner dialogue, and it's like the one advantage we
have over these goddamn robots. But that you know, it's just video game
logic. So but for some reason that applies to this guy where he's got
it all right. At his uh at his partner's funeral, Arnold finds out
that Roasta escaped to America. Now back in the good old USA, Rosta
meets with a lieutenant of somebody named Abdul Elijah as they work out a drug
deal. Roasta gives him half of a torn one hundred dollars bill and they
plan to meet later to exchange a key to a locker full of money,
at which point they'll give Roasta the location of his purchase cocaine. I am
so tired from writing all of that, trying to like trying to simplify it,
but like not to simplify all the plot points is like so fucking hard.
Yeah, and then to later be like, god, damn it,
I don't even know why I bothered to do any of that. I do
that with Lost Lost, So it's like, this is as simple as I
can make it, and it's still is too long. Uh. Next we
see Jim Belushi ogling a prostitute as he his partner and cowboy Curtis, who
threatens to fire Belushi, get ready to bust a gang called the clean Heads,
which I'm now realizing kind of sounds like a slur, so I might
have to change that for the rest of my summer, all right. Anyway,
it's because they have shaved heads. Yeah, totally, it just sounds
like a slur. So I'm saying, one of which turns out to be
the same guy that Roasta met with earlier. Like it's like, it's not
the actual gangs gang's name. Yeah, that's what I only said because Belushi
makes plenty of racist comments throughout this, so it's like it's just like some
sort of race racist like thing that his character came up with. He's like,
because he's not clever, so it's like he's like, yeah, you
know, queen Heads. You're like, what is that? Anyway, it'll
catch on. So the cops then bust into the gang member's apartment and arrest
two guys, but Belushi finds a third guy with a shotgun and almost gets
everyone killed, but the shotgun guy runs. The cops split up, and
Belushi gets the drop on shotgun man as he is about to shoot the other
two cops. And I just want to point out that, like, I
don't know, Belushi blows that door open and doesn't warn anybody, and everybody
is right in the path of where bullets would come through if somebody was on
the other side of that door. So yeah, yeah, he's a terrible
cop. But yeah, speaking of plat points where we're like questionab about that
stuff. I thought Larry Slash Lawrence Fishburne was like a member of the Nation
of Islam, Like he's got the glasses, you know, like the Malcolm
glasses. He's not wearing a bow tie, but he's wearing a suit the
whole time. I honestly thought he was supposed to be a Nation of islawng
guy. And it's just like never brought between him and Abdulla Elijah. That's
just like two different versions of Malcolm X. It seems like like, yeahah,
I don't know, I thought that was going to go somewhere, but
I possibly gave this too much. Yeah, I thought he was going to
like betray them in some way exactly. I thought either him or a pure
boiler was going to And then it just seems like we were supposed to hate
him because Jim Belushi doesn't like him, and I'm like, no, I
dislike Jim Belushi more than fish. So yeah, loose cannon cops in the
eighties are supposed to be like fun you know, but like uh, your
mel Gibson and like lethal weapon. I mean, if you look at it
objectively with you know, like as a citizen, like you're like, wow,
these guys are horrible, like but you know, like in a movie
sense, they're gonna be like, you know what, he's a little unorthodox,
he's a bit of a loose cannon, but he gets the job done
because you know, they're like entertaining, but like Jim Belushi has none of
that, Like he's just so he doesn't get the job done a lot of
the time. Yeah, he sucks at it job like not just like getting
the job done, but also like going by a protocol. He tries to
be funny, but he's not. And there's nothing worse than that. My
friends can attest to for me, uh and like, I don't know,
he's cheap, probably I don't know. Yeah, no's we'll see later in
the movie. He just sucks in several points. Let's see, we see
Rosta waiting to meet the gang members, but they don't show, so he
takes his key and leap. All right, So back in Russia, Arnold
is informed that he is being sent to Chicago to bring home Rosta, who
was arrested for a minor crime, and that he's not to reveal any details
of the case to avoid embarrassment for the party. There's a lot of ego
involved in this movie. Yeah, a lot of pointless politics. Yeah.
Belushi and his partner Gallagher pick up Arnold when he arrives in Chicago and give
him a ride a long way, discovering that the Russian Arnold is not much
of a conversationalist, so he also introduces himself, so they like we This
was the first time I noticed is Arnold's name, which is Ivan Dankoh,
which just sounds like the name from like some pothead themed Rocky parody, like,
you know, like the antagonist who kills former hot boxing champion Apollo Weed
with only one hit just sounds like, Oh, I've ben Danko. I
was trying to think of more like Rocky lines. You will booze, that's
the only one I could think of. If he I must, if he
fries, he fries. That's like I couldn't think of a of a name
for the parody though it was like Rocky nothing runs that. I was like
Toky. I was trying to figure out anything like Roy or Balboa. Yeah,
no, nothing. I spent way too long. Part of the reason
again, why why I'm not completely prepared was spending too much time on jokes
like this stupid where I'm like spinning it over now Dicky Mickey, Yeah,
I don't know, Sparky beow blaze it. That's not bad. Yeah,
it's probably as close as you're gonna get. Yeah, but yeah, Ivon
Danko is the brother of famed San Francisco restaurant tour and chef Gary Danko' sound
really funny, but that's the only other Danko I know. So that's when
he was driving, I noticed, like I never until I watched this movie,
I never realized how much a Russian accent sounds exactly like an Austrian accent.
Yeah, me either. Yeah, he are pretty similar. It's crazy.
You just roll the rs in an accent and all of a sudden,
it's Russian. That's crazy. So Arnold requests to be taken to the CD
motel where Rosta was staying and asks for the same room. The next morning,
Arnold is taken to the police station to meet Chief Peter Boyle, and
Belushi is assigned to escort Arnold until he leaves for the airport with his prisoner.
So uh. Frank Berone tells Arnold that it's just strange how the plot
jumps forward to Victor Rosta already having been arrested without bothering to show it,
because that's what the police chief or captain or whatever commander. I think.
But because both times I've watched this, I felt like I missed a scene.
Yeah, and it just all happens off screen exactly. And I think
it was a choice between like for the writers, between like should we include
the arrest scene or should we include Peter Boyle's fish tank speech? The right
choice they clearly, yeah, because again it's stuff that we're like, what,
it's not funny, it's just something to fill time. I don't know,
it's I think the tone of this movie is confused because they want it
to be funny, but then they also want it to be kind of grounded
and like, I don't know, like I see a version of that where
the where the police chief is like way over stressed and way more like,
God, what's the movie mc bain in this department, we go buy the
book. I'm thinking of another, like a specific movie. I'm thinking of
a specific live action like spoof movie, like like the only one I could
think of was a Last Action Hero where it's the it's the yeah, I
think it's or he's just yelling, but he's like it ends up turning in
a gibberish when he's yelling at him. Yeah. Yeah. I think if
you want it to be funny, you can go one of two ways.
You can go Last Action Hero or you can go like so I married an
axe murderer, whether you're overly caring arcane, Yeah, well yeah that was
great because he's like when they introduce him, he's like pretending to be a
hard ass and then he's like yeah, yeah. I was thinking of the
coach in not another teen movie. I haven't seen. I have seen that,
but isn't the coach. He's just like he's like, get on the
play, goddamn it. Godah, Like he just says and then gets pissed
off at a player and he grabs him and he like like breaks his back
over his knee and sit. Yeah. That's sort of like just yeah yeah,
But like I said, they're trying to keep this movie more realistic,
so it just doesn't quite fit this weird thing that he's doing. Yeah,
but anyway, let's see. So Arnold goes to pick up Rosta and cuffs
himself to the prisoner. As Rosta's belongings are being sorted, Arnold questions him
about the locker key that they that he has, but Roasta won't cooperate.
So I didn't really mind Jim Belushi's character and during the first watch, but
man, like he was pretty fucking insufferable. They're in the second one,
which I realized right around this scene when Arnold has Belushi asks Victor what the
key is for and he does that kind of slow talking over nunciating each word.
Bullshit that assholes doue to people who speak a different language, HM,
Because he's like, do you know where I'm like by the way. Do
you guys have any idea if that's an American thing or is it something that
like assholes in every country do, because I was just a thought that in
my head as I was watching this. I mean, I've only ever seen
American people movies and TV. But I don't know, I have no idea.
Yeah, I mean, but with my Spanish, as somebody said,
stuff, not the over annunciation, but this slow stuff, it might help
out. So I don't know, maybe assholes around or something, well like
slower is good. It's just it's just the louder part that's probably not good.
That he's yelling in his face like very condescending. Yeah, the condescension,
Yeah, that's probably not especially when they know he speaks English, like
they're not stupid, like he he did pretend to stop speaking English, but
when they first pulled him over, they said he was, you know,
speaking English. Yeah, I don't know. I mean we might have known
that if they would have showed it, but whatever, Yeah, that's true.
I don't know. I feel like, I don't know. We might
talk about this later, but I feel like Belushi is giving a perfectly fine
performance. I just wish they had written any of these characters as like likable
or having any charisma exactly. You can't. You can't do that with Blue
She's character. If you're gonna have Arnold's character be the complete like complete straight
man, like not a straight man like true lies straight man, because he
basically is a straight man to h Arnold, but like complete, And it's
if you're gonna have that, you need to have Belushi's character be charming as
fuck. Yeah, Like I think they assumed that Belushi was the funny one,
but it turns out Arnold is much funnier than Belushi. Yea, it's
not like Blue. She had good jokes, but they also managed to,
like newter what makes Arnold great, which is just straight chrisma. I mean
you have like obviously like Terminator, like the first one, he is not
charismatic in that, but he's scary as fuck and that was like the purpose
of that. But basically movies leading up to this Rod Deel say whatever you
want to say about it, but you know, Predatory again, Running Man
Commando, like he's just charismatic, fucking they just kind of eliminated that from
him in this movie. But I was gonna say, like this movie is
probably more forgettable than Radial. At least rod Deal was like to me,
I kept I didn't have to rewind so much with this movie. But anyway,
okay, Belushi is about to head back to the station when the gang
members and Rosta's Russian friends show up disguised as security guards. They club Arnold,
shoot Gallagher, and cut Roasta free. Roasta grabs the key from Arnold
and but then Arnold knocks it onto the floor and before anybody can grab it,
Belushi comes back around the corner and starts shooting. He forces the criminals
to flee, and Arnold crawls over and grabs the key before passing out from
his like multiple concussions in the most dramatic way possible. Yeah, they spend
a long time on him crawling on the floor, just like I thought.
There's no one around him either, everyone's gone, he's there. I'm probably
by himself and like just trying to get to the key before he passes.
Is that like reaching for a fumble or something. You know there's not going
to be like dudes could try and jump on it, Like there's no one
around him. It's just it was just weird because it was like, wait,
there's no, that scenes over. Why are you spending so much time
with this shot and so dramatically and then he immediately passes out, and I'm
like, and so we're kind of expected to believe that he's going to keep
his fist clenched through his unconsciousness, and we do for an entire day.
I mean, he does, but like that doesn't make any sense, all
right. We then go to the hospital where we find out Gallagher died.
So you think they just replaced Gallagher with his brother and like no one really
noticed they smashed Bugger's head like a watermelon or coming up in like a watermelon
or something like that. Anyway, that's be great if a watermelon was the
one that shot Gallagher. Watermelon revenge too, came back for revenge. The
Russian's name was Volta Vulta Melon stupid. It's just we're hitting up all the
and we got some Uhov Smirnoff Joe Gallagher things going on. We're hitting all
like we're gonna throw on some Dice Andrew Dice Clay later. I hope you
like eighties Okay, not even probably gimmick. I hope you like ship that
hasn't aged well because that's what this movie is. Definitely gimmicky. Ship.
Oh, some Russian ambassadors come and question Arnold and then tell him he is
to return to Russia in shame. He also still has that king in his
hand. Yeah, he wakes up and he has the y. He wakes
up, unclenches his fist for the first time in presumably twelve hours, and
then he still has the key, which is great because he they got I'm
undressed. Just see again. A scene I want to see is them trying
to like, well, what his hand woke, stop unclinching, Like,
just give it up. There's no way like this. This man is just
too strong. You've seen the size of those cases. Arnold decides he is
going to continue the investigation himself and go find Rosta. So at this point,
Morpheus assigns Belushi to babysit Arnold while he investigates, and Chief Peter Boyle
lets Arnold investigate, but only because Arnold can break the rules and it technically
won't be the Chief's fault. And that's a dumb plan to start. Like
bluees Shey tells Arnold that he looks like gummy, I think just because it's
the color of his yes, but unless they completely color graded the movie,
his suit looks blue to me, not green. I saw like the tealish
color, eh or. I was just thinking maybe Jim Belushi is actually colorblind
and ad lib that that scene, but couldn't figure out why the Joe kept
falling flat on set because no one had the hard to tell him that arnold
suit was blue, So they just kept kind of like awkwardly laughing, like
you're a good one, Jake. I I my knowledge of Gumby is pretty
low. I thought he was called like I thought maybe Gumby was like considered
giant in his world, you know, just Lo's like Gumby's friend, the
little red guy, like you know, maybe Corse. Yeah, Oky.
And then there's the Blockheads. I don't remember them. Well okay, so
quick side note, very dumb story. Like so there's this old easy song.
It's like, well I'm easy. I got bitches galore. You might
have a lot of bitches, but I got much more. Anyways, my
brother and I were early on that song, and then our other little brother
like was watching Gumby and then walking the thing and the Blockheads are the bad
guys, and they're like, uh, they walk in and like, whoa
computers galore? So we is so we always used to go like, well
we're the blockheads. We got computers galore. You might have a lot of
computers, but I got much more. That's my knowledge of Gumby. I
thought maybe he was calling him Gumby because Gumby was just like a I mean,
like, I mean, he's he's pretty fucking solid dude, like tall.
Yeah, Like I just thought he was just like a gummy, was
just like a giant in the claymation world that he found in the gummy world
that he lives in. That's what I thought he was trying to say.
I didn't realize because his suit was allegedly green. I'm pretty sure that you're
kind of blowing my fucking night mind right now. Yeah, that or a
gummy was actually Russian thought Gumby was a socialist. Not even Russian is a
socialist. You mentioned Peter Boyle explaining or saying that what do you what do
you say that? Basically he said like Arnold can break the rules, but
if anything goes wrong, it was like the department's fault. So so yeah,
so first of all, they're back at the police station, so unless
there's an eventual payoff, I don't remember. This is get another example of
a weird transition between scenes, because Arnold just told Belushi to take him to
his hotel, but instead of doing that, we go to Blushi explained to
Peter Boyle that they did that and then came to the station. Why he
even include the line about Arnold wanted to go to the hotel just for the
taxi joke, which was do I look like a text to you? Yes?
Like that's it. There's no other fucking reason to include that line.
So can't you still have that line if he just takes them to the police
station? Yes, exactly. It was just weird. And then is this
when Laurence Fishburn's talking to him? Yeah, I mean I don't mention him
here, Okay, cool? So like he listened off the crimes, right,
uh? Yeah, Laurence Fishburn comes in and basically says, oh,
we got some more information about Roasta and then so yeah, so Laurence Fishburn
ends up reading off the list of crimes that Victor Rosta has wanted for and
then crumples up a piece of paper and throw it just like throws it on
the ground and Peter Boyle does not say a fucking wor his bosses exactly,
and you cannot tell me that. I was like, oh, maybe he
threw it in the trash can, because if he did toss it into the
trash can and he got it into the trash can, he would have done
a slow celebratory like yes, like what you do when you make it in
the trash can. Yeah, I mean this is pre Kobe, but like,
you know, maybe you're like Dreuxler or some shit. I don't know.
I don't know who's basketball player. Yeah, abdul Jabbard jabbar because he
is dressed like a fucking nation of Islam. So so okay. So Laurence
Fishburne also asked Peter Boyle why, like Chris said, they would let Danko
stay and find uh Rosta, and Boyle basically says that Danko's perfect because he'll
get rid of Victor and if he screws up, it's not their problem.
It is basically what he says, right, Yeah, essentially I get that
part. But then Larry Fish asks Belushi about Belushi, and Boyle tells him
that Belushi is a good cop but basically a complete fuck up and quote departmentally
speaking, I got no downsides here, and that I like I said,
like you were saying, I don't fucking understand, because so is it that
Peter Boyle wants to fire him and he knows that Belushi will fuck things up
so he can fire him, or or if or does it mean like Belushi's
an anchor therefore like Danko can't cause that much trouble because he's got Belushi on
his ass. Like I don't understand. I get means by that, I
exactly like I kept for wanting him, like wait, what am I not
getting here? Or that no matter what happens, it'll be Danko's fault because
Belushi is a quote unquote good copy. I mean we've seen it. He's
not, but he's a quoteunquote good cop. So like you know, like
any bad things that happen, like as we see later with the broken finger
scene, you know, like mm hmm, like you guys thing jammed in
the door or like Danko did it or whatever Arnold did it. Like so
maybe that I tend to read way too much into this stuff. I've had
several like rants about uh, you know the general theme of these movies when
I'm fucking around, so I'm probably yeah, definitely reading too much into this.
So just also speaking of payoffs, there's no payoff to this plot point,
except that later in the movie, Peter Boyle goes I was wrong.
Yeah, yes, that's essentially how this plot point, and there is actually
a payoff. And then because I was like, there's no fucking like,
but this movie was extremely hard to follow because I kept realizing it wasn't paying
attention to what's going on. Like I told Chris, I kept having to
rewind it because I was like, wait, what did they just say?
I mean, to be fair, like, uh, was there any point
to vince Vega telling jewels about Royale with cheese? It was entertaining. That's
entertaining though, Like the dialogue is compelling to where you're like, oh,
yeah, that does that? Okay, that's kind of funny, like there
there, that's that's like a flex to talk about pointless things and have it
still be entertaining. Except this movie can't flex because it doesn't know how to.
That's true. I guess we're mad flex saying when we talk about movies,
because when they like there's examples of of them, like the parakeet thing
that they end up talking about later. It's it just kind of the stuff
it leads nowhere, which the parakeet thing has, I mean, at least
for the alarm. It's no, no, I'm talking about when they're like,
is A like pretty much saying like what is that gay? Like later
like it's just like, yeah, like the weird thing where he thinks it's
implied that I don't know it, which is I get it. It's just
not written correctly to where it would be funny, I guess, like or
funny enough to not get rid of. Yeah, exactly. Okay, So
a few things. A. I just love playing Devil's advocates, so mostly
should I say I don't believe it. But B it's a little bit of
character building, you know. That's kind of when like, yeah, for
sure opens up a little bit. But see, I'm wondering and we will
have to possibly talk to a Russian. But speaking of guys who aren't Russian
playing Russians, what's his fucking name? Mickey Rourke in Ironman two, he
also plays a Russian and he's also really about his bird. So I'm wondering
if, like if like birds are the dogs of Russia. I don't know.
By the way, what's your what's your guys's time at as far as
the recording, Sorry, mine's at twenty two and we're doing pretty good on
time. And then I was like, oh wait, no, it's not
even close. That's a half hour off. So me, okay, okay,
So at one hundred and fifty nine one bars, okay, go ahead,
it's at a tempo of one hundred and twenty. Sorry. I meant
to keep us. I meant to keep us Russian through this, but I
know it wasn't gonna happen, all right, I mean, so v it,
I get it is what it is. Damn. We should have saved
that. All right, He's going and I can add him somewhere else.
I had that joke down somewhere. I was just like so. First in
the investigation, Arnold and Vlushi go interrogate the same snitch who told them where
to find the the drug dealing gang members. That's the pamp right, yeah,
okay. He tells them that abdul Elijah is running his whole operation from
jail, so they head there to see if abdull Elijah will tell them where
roast is Arnold's line of I don't want to touch his ass, I want
to make him talk. See like you get every now and then you get
like little glimpses of the Arnold character that we should be getting during this movie.
Yes, absolutely, yeah, they they they they kind of took like
the the basis of like Terminator, like from Terminator one, you know,
where he like goes to things like fuck you ass whole and what we saw
much like done much better in Terminator two, like especially when he's grabbing the
guy by the hair and John like, no stamp. He's like, this
does not help our mission, you know, that kind of dry, dead
pan humor. They they took just a smidge of that and like did just
a little bit of it with that. And there's later on when he's like
are you shooting me? He's like, no, I am not shooting on
you. So they're like if they would have amped that up like a little
more, like maybe if they had somebody like actually funny write the script,
like yeah, it could have been a lot better, or even just let
him play it out a little bit more, let him get angry, like
that's the one thing he doesn't even get angry in this movie, except for
like one part at the very end where he's yeah, but like he is
clearly super pissed off and it's super personal for him, but he is so
emotionless to this entire thing, and yeah, it just doesn't play right.
And also I'm going to start saying, uh, I swore on my balls,
like that pimp Dead when he was when Arnold had his arm bound.
He's like, I swear my balls. I'm like, oh man, that
is good. That is good. So they go to uh jail. Arnold
talks to Elijah, but Elijah won't give up Rosta. He does, however,
promise to arrange a meeting between Arnold and Rosta so that something can be
worked out and he can get his money. Elijah is by far the most
charismatic motherfucker in this movie. Oh absolutely easily the most entertaining scene. Yeah,
and Arnold's like, put off your balls and put them in a jaw.
He's like, yeah, you know, I have no need for that.
And he's like, I'm a holy man, what do I for testicles?
Yeah, and he's like I'll dig your eyes. He's like, ship,
homie, I'm already blind. Yeah, he's the bads scene he picks
up his glasses and his eyes are all fucking milky and ship. Yeah.
Yeah, no, that was with Arnold and fucking Larry Fishburne. Like that
guy with that little monologue he gave was probably the best like writing in the
whole movie too. Yeah, definitely had the most charisma. Like I would
almost I don't know, if you got to send your notes, I would
almost wonder if he wrote that monologue himself. I was thinking about that because
it's very uh, all the all the writers are white guys. Yeah,
if it was written by one of them, it was probably maybe help hopefully
helped, I would assume, Yeah, God, I hope so yeah.
I mean that's honestly, like with the sequel Red Don, which it doesn't
even seem like relevant to this movie, I don't know, like I wanted
to see, like the sequel to this one to be about Elijah or even
like the third one read with like Bruce Willis and shit like that. I
don't know what that had to do with this either, but like I wanted
to see, like what happened after misunderstanding that's actually a prequel because Red Red
heat Red Don. That makes sense, But like even I don't know what
they had to do with it, But I thought they would be like what
happens when Arnold gets back to Russia? That would be like the sequel,
but and say it's about a bunch of fucking kids in like Ohio or something.
Gotta figure, right, I don't know. And movies are weird these
days. Let's see. Oh, so next, Arnold and Belushi are on
their way to go visit Gina Gershaan because she visited Rosta in prison, the
actress. They're visiting actress Tina Gershon. Where we going next? We're going
to go visit actress Tina Gershon. That's awesome, Okay, sorry, she
was a thing in the late eighties. I had no idea. So they
go visit her. They find out that she married Rosta so that he could
get his travel visa, and then while he was in jail, she was
sent to his hotel room to grab his passport and the other half of that
one hundred dollars bill from earlier that he needs for like the drug deal.
Did they already mention that he needs that for the drug deal? They did
again, And that was in my little spiel earlier about trying to condense the
entire plot down into like three sets, but basically, he tore one hundred
dollars bill in half. He gave half to the one of the clean head
dudes, and they both need to present them to finish the drug deal.
Arnold then decides that they're gonna stake out Gershan so that she can lead them
to Roasta. Arnold mingles with the locals. Yeah. No, two things
about this one. I don't know why in these movies, like just fucking
randos want to just fuck with six foot two two and fifty pound, Yeah,
with the most square jowed individual that they've ever seen, like tree t
man like Arnold, you know, just like hey, he's like the guy's
like five eight, you know, one sixty, and he's like, I
got a baseball bat. It's like, look at this fucking guy. Dude,
you're gonna hit him with a baseball bat. You're gonna hurt your hand.
You have like batting gloves, like and if everybody's played baseball and they
like hit, you know, he hit the ball. That fucking hurts,
Like I imagine that's what hitting Arnold's like. But also that he doesn't he
shows no fear when the guy's threatening him, like no, no, hesit
like nothing, like, Okay, this guy might be kind of crazy,
but I'm invested in it. I might as well keep going, yeah,
just because I want this parking spot. Like Also, they cut out to
a slightly wider shot. There is so much room in front of him,
behind that car on the curve for him. That's why he called him,
That's why like labeled him. He just seems like a mugger, like I
just mugging him, right, or he's just ship that's his that's his uh
in front of his peace right. Yes, he says he lives up there,
that that's his spot. He says, you either got to move,
cough up fifty bucks, or I'm gonna smash your car. Yeah, so
I guess he's just trying to shake him down. Yeah. But also,
okay, so if you're trying to shake somebody down, you'd be like,
hey, mother, all right, you're cool man like me, like this
fucking person literally anybody else one type of that wearing a uniform like some sort
of some sort of like military uniform. Yeah. Also, when they're sticking
out, Jim Blushy talks about beating off a lot and that's so mature,
like be a professional man, like you don't see you don't see us talking
about that, and we're a comedy podcast, Like that's just so childish.
It was also an odd choice to keep the bruise on Arnold's face for the
rest of the film, like it is in such a distracting place. Yeah,
I mean, it was just weird because usually, like any other movie,
it would be on there or it wouldn't be as like prominent, and
it kind of like it's weird because it kind of looks like like he was
like kissed by a lipstick wearing giant or something like that. It's just like
this mark across his face. It looks like lipstick. Let's see. So
Arnold mingles with the locals while Blue She grabs some food. When Gershan gets
into a taxi, Arnold and Belushi follow At the expense of Belushi's reproductive health,
he spills coffee on his balls. Roold sort of have like a quick
conversation about socialism, which basically ends with Arnold saying that China got rid of
their drug dealers with a mass shooting them all mass public execution, and Belushi
points out that the politicians would never go for it in America, and Arnold's
like shoot them first. So it was just an interesting approach to the whole
fish out of water trubs that they're doing because they still have his character misunderstanding
like seemingly everyday situations. But usually when the foreign character reminisces about his home
country, it isn't. It's because like he misses the food or his friends
and family, not the unregulated use of police brutality. So like he's like,
just really missed that way I can harass who if I wanted at home.
I don't know. It reminded me of that old Yakov Smirnoff joke,
you know where he's like, in America, you film corrupt police, but
in mother Russia, corrupt police film you being shot in back of head.
Why family watches like you know that? Yea, you could turn a joke,
jesus. Yeah, man, it was just the eighties. Everybody thought
drug dealers deserve to die. Like that's just like it was. It's open
and shutcase. I guess, fucking Reagan eighties. And I don't want to
get too deep into it, but the war on drugs is a fucking disaster,
and yeah, you would do. You would do well to not pay
attention to any of the politics in this movie because they fucking suck. Yeah.
Yeah, and it's just like they are so without nuance. Its crazy.
Yeah. And like Belushi's just like like casually like yeah, like police
should be able to do that, and like drug dealers and drug he was
like, I look, I would love to shoot a bunch of people in
the back of my head, but the politicians won't go for it. Yeah,
and then shoot the politicians. Yeah, and like it's not just drug
dealers, like drug users too, Like yeah, that's a fucking my god.
Did you guys think that Belushi might have been kind of more liberal leaning
before this movie? And he was like, you know what, you can
making a good point here. I would agree with you, except like one
of the only things he's kind of liberal about as he loves weed. Oh
does he like Yeah, he's he's super heavy into weed. One last thing
yep, buck Ronald Reagan yep, rotten in hell piece of shit. Yes,
definitely. Uh so uh. From this point, they follow the taxi
into a parking garage where they are ambushed by heavily armed gang members. Arnold
makes Blushi pocket The key then goes to talk to Rosa in private as a
gun is held to Blue. She's head, you know what, I will
say that Blue, she really nailed that racist cop stereotype. But if you're
gonna have your character say something fucking blatantly racist, at least try to write
some clever dialogue for it. Because like, I like his like pro basketball
team, like I suppose like the pro basketball team thing, like, because
that's what he says. He's like, Oh, we've got a pro basketball
team coming at us, because it's like a bunch of like fucking black dudes
that are like that are coming at them. It does sound like the type
of ti dash joke that a racial insensitive cop would make. So like,
I guess that's going for authenticity. I don't know. It's just like I
don't know it did. The character already was annoying me, and then I
just like they just like start piling on to make him seem like a piece
of ship. Yeah, And it wasn't like they were lined up. I
mean it's like, oh, he's a center, power forward, small force.
Yeah, yeah, like they are. They weren't like all an incredibly
tall. It was just it seemed like, yeah, just because they're because
they're black. Yeah, yeah, it's just I don't know, like it's
like a real life I would complain about the lazy writing, but if we
stopped to complaine writing every time there's ladies writing, this podcast would never end.
So so Arnold did give the key to Victor dur in their meeting.
Nope, nope, no, didn't give him. Okay, so what any
idea what the point of the little exchange between Arnold and Victor was, because
that's my literal. Next note is that Arnold and Rosta now have a completely
pointless conversation where Roasta tries to bribe Arnold, but Arnold of course refuses,
and then nothing happens. Yea, I was, honestly, I'm honestly asking
me because I was looking forward to watching this movie before we watched it,
and so I really wanted to, like, I wanted to like this movie,
and I wanted it to be good as I'm going in there. But
on my second watch, I just started noticing more and more scenes that could
have been fucking cut. There was no like, I don't know, in
what world you thought that cop was gonna go for bribe? Yeah, they've
already made him seem like such like a hard ass let by the book,
like, and what the fuck is Arnold's plan? Does Arnold think he's going
to convince Rosta to turn himself in? Because I'm what the fuck are you?
That's even dumber. I just didn't get the It was just like,
okay, well that well, okay. So I think at that point it
was they didn't have a choice. Victor wanted to talk to Arnold to try
and corrupt him, and that was unsuccessful because Arnold is the consummate good guy.
But the real problem with the scene is you're speaking English, like ninety
percent of the time Russian? True, Why the fuck are they talking English?
He speaks a tiny bit of Russian at the very beginning, and then
they switch over to English. They want to practice like they're in America,
like they want to practice their English. That's true. And they know that
the person. They know that the other person's not going to judge him for
any mistakes that they make, because you know, they're like, oh,
you're learning, you learn, No, keep going, you're learning, you
know, very fair enough. True. As far as getting rid of stuff,
I guess you can get rid of a whole chunk with Junker Sewan too.
So yeah, well again, I'll say it later, but I don't
know why she's I mean, the movie's a little over a tight ninety,
it's a tight one oh six. Yeah, they start cutting ship and it's
like it's an episode of TV. So Arnold and a very pissed off Belushi
go back to the hospital to talk to the Russian that Belushi shot, but
right as they get there, the Russian is assassinated by another Russian dude,
like a lady nurse. Okay, my only note here was I have no
idea who the dude is that they're visiting the hospital, but I got it
now, So like when I was watching Even the Sun and I was like,
who is this dude? And yeah, okay anyway, and also the
person who's driving Gina Gershaan was the Yeah it was it was a victor's assistant.
Yeah. So Arnold and Belushi chase after the nurse. Belushi gets a
clean shot, but then Gershan steps in the way for some reason, some
reason, for no fucking apparent reason, giving the nurse enough time to pull
his gun and graze Belushi with a bullet. But then Arnold shows up and
shoots the nurse through several panes of glass. And I like Blushy's line at
the end when he's looking over the shot up nurse slash Victor's assistant because he's
like, ah, what the hell he's a guy, but he sees it
says it in such like a disappointed way, which was strange because I couldn't
tell a few minute and like a, what the hell he's a guy?
And I only like shooting women women sort of way or like or like,
what the hell is a guy? And I hit on him. I better
proposition to the next woman I see. So Danko doesn't come Gary, No,
it's definitely the letter a lot like I mean, as much as i've
ace Ventura, like going back and watching that, it's just like, oh,
like that's so transphobic. I love the idea that the entire time they
were chasing that nurse Belue, she was trying to like hide his heart on
like just desperately, like, oh God, I hope nobody knows that I
have a boner for this lady who's like yelling it or don't shoot her,
don't shoot her. I have a chance, y'all kill the love of my
life. I've never worked in the hospital. I've worked in healthcare in various
other places, but I just can't imagine like a nurse walking into a place
and then immediately trading a patient and it was just like yeah, whatever,
like cool, like yeah, I inject them with stuff like yeah, like
whatever. No, one's just like what the fuck is it? Chick like
yeah, especially since he's probably the tallest nurse in the entire hospital. Looks
like in the dark night when he led walking around the hospital and then he
in his full makeup, but he's got the mask on and he walks into
the room with uh fucking two facet and like Erica looks at him, but
he doesn't recognize him until he pulls the mask down. Yeah, the way
it's edited like, it's hilarious because it looks like he has no idea it's
the joker. And then he pulls the mask off and he flips. That's
like, oh my god, you he was like, whoa, how did
you guys weren't paint on his face? Yeah, I mean, good thing
he noticed the heavy eye makeup that he had on. Yeah, good thing
fucking two faced and survived at COVID because he would have been like, oh
my god, who are you. It's like, dude, I'm your wife.
Like kick back, I'm just wearing a fucking mask face blindness. Yeah,
it's like, well he was. He was the district attorney too,
and he's just like the judge and everything, So who are you get on
the car? It's like, dude, I'm the fucking judge, all right,
and that's going to do it for part one of our Red Heat summary,
stay tuned for part two, which will be out in just a couple
of days. Until then, reviews always help us out, so if you're
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