WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:07.160 This is the two seventeen Recovery podcast with Corey Winfield. Like, no, 2 00:00:07.280 --> 00:00:10.080 it doesn't smell like that, you know, or whatever they're saying. I 3 00:00:10.080 --> 00:00:14.960 don't know what porn starts, say the rappers and hold Marnie Winfield take that 4 00:00:15.000 --> 00:00:19.440 into consideration, and she took it seriously. She saw firsthand, like way 5 00:00:19.480 --> 00:00:26.440 too close, how devastating this disease can be. My it's already the second 6 00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:31.719 of September. Hole, this one's flying by. My name is Cory Winfield. 7 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:36.359 My name's Martie Winfield. This is the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Morney 8 00:00:36.520 --> 00:00:40.159 not impressed with a new open No, I think I think it shows a 9 00:00:40.159 --> 00:00:47.159 lot of insight into like us in general. Yeah, you take it serious. 10 00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:51.439 Not all the time we see in all fairness. That was when you 11 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:55.320 weren't on the podcast, and I think it was Adam Newth and I we 12 00:00:55.320 --> 00:01:00.560 were talking about something else and m yeah, I had a good point with 13 00:01:00.600 --> 00:01:03.400 whatever I was saying. Trust me. I'm sure you think you did trust 14 00:01:03.480 --> 00:01:08.680 me? No, I did trust that. Trust me. You have to 15 00:01:08.719 --> 00:01:12.439 trust me. Well, anyway, we're back. It's been a week I 16 00:01:12.439 --> 00:01:17.280 think since we've done a podcast. Yeah's it been a week, It's just 17 00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:21.439 time, is just craziness. Wednesday. I'm like, it's Wednesday, everybody. 18 00:01:21.760 --> 00:01:23.519 We're Monday ago, We're Tuesday ago. I mean, it's just insane. 19 00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:27.840 And you have just been a rock star moving stuff, putting stuff together, 20 00:01:27.959 --> 00:01:33.159 unloading things, unpacking things, packing more things, throwing stuff, donating 21 00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:38.519 things, moving things, halling things. Yeah, that's the word I have 22 00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:45.879 for you. Yeah, it's insane. How are you doing well? I 23 00:01:46.280 --> 00:01:49.079 think I want to look at its recognizing that it's a skill, but I 24 00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:53.480 have that. I think that I've had a lot of practice with that in 25 00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:59.319 my life mostly was like helping out, like my mom, She's moved a 26 00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:05.120 bunch of time, and I don't know, I've always liked to organize things 27 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:10.520 and like make spaces nice, especially my own, And so I think the 28 00:02:10.560 --> 00:02:15.280 biggest, the hardest part about this move was just the chaos of it all, 29 00:02:15.319 --> 00:02:20.039 like the when you're in that you know, limbo of things not being 30 00:02:20.080 --> 00:02:23.840 exactly how you want them to be, and they're they're still not, but 31 00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:29.599 they're getting closer. So and then actually having like finished product, like seeing 32 00:02:30.840 --> 00:02:36.479 hard work, you know, the results of it, and how I'm making 33 00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:42.159 things beautiful and that makes me happy. You're doing a good job. And 34 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:46.840 I just realized that. And you should probably do this to add painting to 35 00:02:46.919 --> 00:02:52.439 your profile on LinkedIn. Behind to paint, I don't know about that, 36 00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:57.759 but and that's that's the beauty of things. Like you don't want to be 37 00:02:57.759 --> 00:03:00.520 the point guard that replaced Michael Jordan. You know what I'm saying. You 38 00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:06.439 didn't want to be the quarterback that you know has to replace Tom Brady. 39 00:03:06.800 --> 00:03:08.400 You don't want to follow a legend. You know, you want to come 40 00:03:08.439 --> 00:03:13.520 in after Baker Mayfield's been there for a minute, or like I don't know 41 00:03:13.599 --> 00:03:20.439 some of these other quarterbacks that Wilson Russell Wilson. Yes, I've started on 42 00:03:20.520 --> 00:03:24.439 that. But because the people who own this house before us, they I 43 00:03:24.479 --> 00:03:27.560 don't know what they were good at. They were good at some in life, 44 00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:30.439 because God gives everybody's skill and there's like something special about you. But 45 00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:36.759 these people could not paint, they could not clean. They were good at 46 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:42.840 half assing things to the peers. But and that's not fair to people who 47 00:03:42.879 --> 00:03:47.159 have half ass things, because this is this is like a yeah, it 48 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:50.759 almost seems like the movie The Money Pit, but it's not that bad. 49 00:03:50.759 --> 00:03:53.560 It's not that bad, not that bad. Oh, it's not that bad, 50 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:58.520 but it seems like it sometimes. In all fairness, my thoughts are 51 00:03:58.520 --> 00:04:02.520 that maybe it's something that they wanted to do themselves because they wanted to save 52 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:06.479 some money, and they were very well aware that they we're not that great 53 00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:11.960 at painting, but they were okay with what they came up with and so, 54 00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.360 and they were the ones living here, so that's all that really mattered. 55 00:04:15.720 --> 00:04:17.399 Like one of the rooms, like they're not like, oh, we 56 00:04:17.560 --> 00:04:20.879 better do a really good job or pay extra money to have it done professionally. 57 00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:24.800 So when the people that move in here after we leave are going to 58 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:30.839 be not disappointed. I'm sure they that was not on there and they're thought 59 00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:33.759 patterns. Yeah, if they would have done things right, we probably wouldn't 60 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:40.160 have been able to afford this place. It's really true. And like one 61 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:44.839 of the hallways kind of goes up to the second floor, third floor or 62 00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:48.120 whatever, but in the kitchen, like the hallway kind of continues into the 63 00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:50.959 kitchen, and they like, we started painting it, and then they got 64 00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:54.120 to like where they're going to the hall and they're like, okay, here 65 00:04:54.160 --> 00:05:00.160 meets the kitchen there. Let's like let's just do one swipe, like it's 66 00:05:00.199 --> 00:05:02.519 just the Yeah, you get the point. It was half fast. So 67 00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:06.480 we had to redo this one wall we did today because we removed the TV 68 00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:09.639 because I'm all right, I'm hanging this TV up and then there's a big 69 00:05:09.639 --> 00:05:12.319 hole in the wall and I'm like, well, that's why they left the 70 00:05:12.319 --> 00:05:18.240 TV, because then if like replace them or repairing the hole. So instead 71 00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:20.480 of hanging the TV, the TV has still been sitting on the floor and 72 00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:24.480 I know it's pet PVRs and I would really like to get it off the 73 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:27.240 floor and onto a wall now and really kind of move into this place. 74 00:05:27.240 --> 00:05:29.680 And so we had to like do a bunch of stuff you know, were 75 00:05:29.720 --> 00:05:31.560 done before. And I did a really shitty job of patching the wall. 76 00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:34.920 But it is going to be behind a TV mount. But there's just not 77 00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:38.519 gonna be a hole there anymore. So like the quality of the job, 78 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:45.040 it wasn't really it wasn't needing to be perfection. Like if nothing was going 79 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:46.160 on the wall, then yeah, sure absolutely would done a better job. 80 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:50.839 But it like this just needs to match up the hole so I can cut 81 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:56.959 another hole in it for wires, hang my wire things another hole. Yeah, 82 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:00.959 but that hole will be covered with something. Anyway. We were painting 83 00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:05.439 this wall and I am not a good painter, and you came in there 84 00:06:05.439 --> 00:06:11.519 and you're just like it's like when you ask your three year old to go 85 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:14.439 throw something away and then you go look and it's like not even in the 86 00:06:14.439 --> 00:06:16.000 trash or they put it under your pillow, and you're like, what are 87 00:06:16.040 --> 00:06:18.680 you doing? Like that was the looking that you gave me when I was 88 00:06:18.680 --> 00:06:21.160 like, I'm ready to paint, and you're like, okay, let me 89 00:06:21.199 --> 00:06:26.279 see. This is not even close, this is not even ready. What 90 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:28.600 are you doing, you idiot? You got a vacuum this you all this 91 00:06:28.680 --> 00:06:32.199 dust here, like all this paint and saw sand. What is that called 92 00:06:32.319 --> 00:06:35.600 sand dust? No, I'm so tired. It was drywall dust. Yeah, 93 00:06:35.759 --> 00:06:40.879 drywall dust. Just making words up again, and you're just like you 94 00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:44.399 can't do that with that there. You're gonna vacuum that up. And I 95 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:47.319 mean you you have the like basics, but the other you're like, I 96 00:06:47.399 --> 00:06:51.120 know I need to put a cloth down, and you're like, I know 97 00:06:51.160 --> 00:06:56.160 I'm gonna need some paint. I have this paint, I'll open it up 98 00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:00.439 and I know I'm gost put it in this pan and here's these brushes, 99 00:07:00.920 --> 00:07:05.160 let's go. Yeah, that's okay, though you don't know. I mean, 100 00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:09.560 and the only reason I know is because I've I've had to do it 101 00:07:09.560 --> 00:07:13.959 before, and I even myself, I'm not I don't consider myself to be 102 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:18.720 professional, but and it's one of those things where like you need to have 103 00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:23.079 the patience to do it. Lots of times people that are not good painters 104 00:07:23.160 --> 00:07:27.680 is just because you're trying to do it too fast and you're not being mindful 105 00:07:27.720 --> 00:07:33.079 of, you know, taking your time to be detailed. Yeah, I 106 00:07:33.120 --> 00:07:35.920 just want to throw some paint up there. I know you do. I 107 00:07:36.000 --> 00:07:39.959 mean, I was, You're like, yeah, I was there, I 108 00:07:40.279 --> 00:07:43.319 saw what you're doing. Yeah, I'm like, you do realize that you 109 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:46.560 will roll down this wall and all this dirt will get onto your brush and 110 00:07:46.560 --> 00:07:54.240 then it will be painted like textured paint with just but it will be dirt 111 00:07:54.959 --> 00:08:00.360 and dust and who knows what else. But it's okay, it's not our 112 00:08:00.560 --> 00:08:03.240 neither of our four days. So okay, yeah, just give me pulsit. 113 00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:09.279 I would to look to go okay though. Yeah. So that's that's 114 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:16.319 what we've been up to, man, all kinds of like not family drama, 115 00:08:16.439 --> 00:08:18.920 but oh family drama. Man, I don't nothing I can do about 116 00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:24.800 it. And it's just crazy. How and now we're like switching to recovery 117 00:08:24.839 --> 00:08:28.160 talked real quick. See how we do that? Oh nice? Not a 118 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:31.000 dime, no, because this is something that has been awaying. I mean, 119 00:08:31.080 --> 00:08:37.559 it's just like some people will come to us because you know we got 120 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.159 old. Congratulations by the way, in your four years, thank you, 121 00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:46.840 good job money, thank you get her for four years on Wednesday. Yeah, 122 00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:52.200 so congratulations, thank you for my coin. Yes, it's beautiful like 123 00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:54.840 it. It's in my it's in my well. I don't know how. 124 00:08:56.200 --> 00:09:01.679 I don't want to get off topic anyway. I have place where I put 125 00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:05.919 my coins up. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, I'm the one who 126 00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:11.480 got us to got off got us Nope, not going there. I'm the 127 00:09:11.519 --> 00:09:15.840 one who took the train off the tracks there, so let's go back, 128 00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:20.519 okay. So my when people reach out to us, sometimes it feels like 129 00:09:20.559 --> 00:09:24.559 they're like, hey, Corey and Marty can help. If you're a mechanic 130 00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:28.919 and people are always like hitting you up, Hey needs to fix my car, 131 00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:33.120 that's what us. But with people seeking help, seeking treatment, seeking 132 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:37.759 seeking, you know, recovery advice whatever, that's us. You know, 133 00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:43.720 people reach out to us and unlike of the mechanic, there's nothing we can 134 00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:48.159 do to fix that person. You know, we can offer advice, we 135 00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.600 can kind of say what we've done, stuff that has worked for us. 136 00:09:52.639 --> 00:09:56.080 I mean, you're a therapist, so you can probably go into a little 137 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.759 more detail. But that's all I can do. Like, here's what worked 138 00:09:58.759 --> 00:10:03.000 for me years what didn't work for me. I've seen this work for other 139 00:10:03.000 --> 00:10:05.559 people. I've seen this not work. I mean, you can try this, 140 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:09.679 try that, but you kind of give them the basics. And the 141 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:15.120 basics are does this person really want it? They might think they want it, 142 00:10:15.799 --> 00:10:18.480 but only want to work fifty percent of the program. And the program 143 00:10:18.519 --> 00:10:22.399 I'm not talking about AA or AN, I'm talking about their program, right. 144 00:10:22.919 --> 00:10:26.480 You can't well, you can just be sober and live the rest of 145 00:10:26.480 --> 00:10:30.480 your life, sure, but being in recovery something something completely different. You 146 00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:33.399 know. It's a whole lifestyle, you know, and it's a good lifestyle. 147 00:10:33.399 --> 00:10:37.039 It's fun. But the person has to be committed. And they might 148 00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:39.919 think they're committed. And that's fine. At least they're they're trying. At 149 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:46.000 least they're they're moving forward with something an attempt at it. But for some 150 00:10:46.039 --> 00:10:48.399 people who are just like, don't got a problem, a my thing, 151 00:10:50.159 --> 00:10:54.120 and they got four duys, they get sentenced or something, you know, 152 00:10:54.159 --> 00:10:56.879 and they go out and party that night, and it's like, okay, 153 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:03.440 not it's not clicking. And as someone who's been through it, you have 154 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:07.720 to Marney, you've you've felt the pain, the shame, all of that, 155 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:13.600 and we wouldn't do anything different because then we wouldn't have met each other, 156 00:11:13.600 --> 00:11:18.039 and blah blah blah blah. But it sure would have been nice to 157 00:11:18.039 --> 00:11:22.080 get it right earlier. You know, you don't have to make this a 158 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:26.639 long painful journey being in recovery. Some people do. I did, you 159 00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:31.000 did too. We just tried to hold on and no, I don't have 160 00:11:31.039 --> 00:11:33.759 a problem. And it wasn't until I almost died that I hadn't. Okay, 161 00:11:33.799 --> 00:11:39.440 I have a problem. I have. And unfortunately, that's what it 162 00:11:39.480 --> 00:11:41.759 takes for a lot of people is to hit that rock bottom. You know, 163 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:45.200 you have to get evicted, if lose your job, you know, 164 00:11:45.519 --> 00:11:50.159 kids get taken away, whatever it is, you can get divorced, and 165 00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:54.559 still it's not enough, right And for people that are like, oh, 166 00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:58.120 I'm gonna do it for my husband, or I'm gonna do it for my 167 00:11:58.159 --> 00:12:03.039 girlfriend or my kids or my mom. You can't, it just can't. 168 00:12:03.399 --> 00:12:05.600 It sounds good when you're saying it, and then when they look at you 169 00:12:05.679 --> 00:12:09.879 and go, why can't you just quit drinking? You promised me you win 170 00:12:09.960 --> 00:12:13.480 it, Well, that's because it can't be done that way. They can 171 00:12:13.480 --> 00:12:16.279 do it for their from themselves. Like if you have a son or something 172 00:12:16.360 --> 00:12:22.399 daughter and you're like, I'm gonna quit for myself so that I can be 173 00:12:22.440 --> 00:12:26.159 there for my son. That is something completely different to say, well, 174 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:31.279 I'm quitting for musouan because musun he wants me to win. Yeah. Yeah, 175 00:12:31.399 --> 00:12:35.120 everybody wants you to right, except for the guy at the store, 176 00:12:35.240 --> 00:12:41.679 But that's either here nor there. I'm just just saying it's tough. You 177 00:12:41.720 --> 00:12:46.399 know, when people reach out and from people I know, and when they 178 00:12:46.440 --> 00:12:50.799 don't reach out but yet I know, and others reach out and they're like, 179 00:12:50.840 --> 00:12:54.480 hey, reach out to this person, I'm like, well, it's 180 00:12:54.519 --> 00:13:01.399 not going to help. And I think too that another piece that that we're 181 00:13:01.480 --> 00:13:07.320 still that it comes up a lot is it's not really internalizing other people's issues. 182 00:13:07.360 --> 00:13:11.159 It's not like making them their own, but being human beings and definitely 183 00:13:11.240 --> 00:13:15.440 because of what we've been through and when we hear these stories and we hear 184 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:18.679 these people struggle, regardless if it's just people that we know, or it's 185 00:13:18.679 --> 00:13:24.120 people that I am, you know, working with at my job, or 186 00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:31.320 people that come into two seventeen or friends of mine or family of mine or 187 00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:33.960 whatever, it is, like it can it weighs on you, you know, 188 00:13:35.080 --> 00:13:39.919 like it it gets that. It's like because we kind of are at 189 00:13:39.919 --> 00:13:46.240 the same time, it's it's inevitable that we sort of somehow take on a 190 00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:50.440 little bit of that hopelessness because it's like we want that so bad for those 191 00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:54.879 people, because we care about them, to figure it out and to be 192 00:13:54.039 --> 00:13:58.120 like why are you why are you not seeing these signs here? Like why 193 00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:05.080 are we why are you not paying attention to what's actually going on? And 194 00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:09.120 then part of that is me rewinding, like back in the day, actually 195 00:14:09.240 --> 00:14:16.320 reliving moments where I'm just like why did I not get it? Like man, 196 00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:20.120 was that? Like it's almost reliving that piece like that was me Like 197 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.240 what the hell? Like you know, I'm not I can't judge because I 198 00:14:24.279 --> 00:14:30.120 did the same thing for freaking years. You know, I'm not exactly the 199 00:14:30.159 --> 00:14:33.720 same, but it's like and then you're racking your brain, like and here 200 00:14:33.759 --> 00:14:35.960 I am, you know, with a degree in everything, and I'm still 201 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:41.200 like, sometimes there's just no words for those people. You know, it's 202 00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:46.120 not about it's about them being ready to actually admit that they were they need 203 00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:50.639 to work on themselves and that they need to address this issue and amongst other 204 00:14:50.759 --> 00:14:56.559 issues, because nine times out of ten, it's not just substance use disorder. 205 00:14:56.679 --> 00:14:58.799 There's there's other things going on. That's why we drink. It's just 206 00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:03.919 symptom of our real issues that are going on. Maybe it's relationships, maybe 207 00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:09.720 it's trauma, you know, maybe we have other mental health stuff that's going 208 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:16.080 on that go they go hand in hand. All those are real things, 209 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:20.600 and until you really get to the bottom of it, all our go to 210 00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:24.799 is booze and drugs, you know. And trauma doesn't necessarily mean like, 211 00:15:24.879 --> 00:15:28.519 oh trauma, I was beaten as a kid. I don't know. Trauma 212 00:15:28.559 --> 00:15:31.600 can happen as an adult too. You and I are lucky enough morning we 213 00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:37.240 have not lost a parent, and there are many people we know who have 214 00:15:37.519 --> 00:15:43.679 and that is very traumatic, you know, And sometimes sometimes people say, 215 00:15:43.679 --> 00:15:46.320 well, you have to get over it, but you don't have to get 216 00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:50.320 over losing a loved one. You know. I don't think my mom's ever 217 00:15:50.399 --> 00:15:58.759 gotten over my grandma's. But we can accept it and you know, make 218 00:15:58.799 --> 00:16:00.480 the most of it here to day, you know, as we move on 219 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:04.039 with our lives. But I don't think you need to get over it, 220 00:16:04.360 --> 00:16:07.600 right, you know, And it's it's something that's it's a personal thing between 221 00:16:07.639 --> 00:16:15.399 people. And so you lost somebody you know, or maybe you are, 222 00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:18.039 we're living something from your childhood. You know, just talk to somebody to 223 00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:19.879 get that off your chest. And then where you're talking about it, the 224 00:16:19.879 --> 00:16:23.960 easier it is, and you know, there are professionals out there that that 225 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:27.000 can help you with that. And sometimes people think, oh, man, 226 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:30.519 that's too expensive, and you start realizing, like we were talking earlier, 227 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:33.399 I'm like, man, if I just cut out vaping, like I could 228 00:16:33.399 --> 00:16:36.720 afford a lot more things, and just little things. And I'm not talking 229 00:16:36.759 --> 00:16:38.159 about like a bowlt or anything like that. I'm just talking about like when 230 00:16:38.960 --> 00:16:41.679 when we're like, hey, we can hire somebody for a couple hundred bucks 231 00:16:41.679 --> 00:16:45.320 to paint that room, Well, here's the way to do it. Quit 232 00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:48.639 vaping, you know, like it's as simple as that. And I was 233 00:16:48.679 --> 00:16:51.960 like, man, I could have the NFL package, you know, if 234 00:16:52.000 --> 00:16:56.320 I just quit vaping. And it was actually we were driving I was talking 235 00:16:56.360 --> 00:17:03.279 about it reminded me of when I was an active addiction and I'd wear these 236 00:17:03.320 --> 00:17:07.400 pants that the holes in the crotch and shirt that I had for who knows 237 00:17:07.400 --> 00:17:10.279 how long I had holes in it too, And I don't dare buy another 238 00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:12.079 shirt or pair of pants because well, I need that money for alcohol, 239 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:15.319 you know, I'll drop it in the liquor store with it like like it's 240 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:19.839 nothing, but actually buying something that I would need or could use. Oh 241 00:17:19.880 --> 00:17:22.680 no, no, no, I can't do that, you know. And 242 00:17:22.759 --> 00:17:30.400 it's just like m like it seems like an easy decision for most people to 243 00:17:30.480 --> 00:17:33.160 make, like, well, if you want the NFL network, then just 244 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:36.079 quit vaping and you can do that. And nicotine, that's a whole another 245 00:17:36.079 --> 00:17:41.200 monster too, And they say that's actually harder than the drinking thing, And 246 00:17:41.279 --> 00:17:45.559 I have no idea. I know smoking was was crazy hard until I started 247 00:17:45.640 --> 00:17:48.920 vaping, but again it was the nicotine. But then smoking though, when 248 00:17:48.960 --> 00:17:52.920 I watched movies and somebody's lightening up a cigarette or something like, damn on 249 00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.240 a cigarette. I don't think that I'll ever go away. And that's fine. 250 00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:00.079 I accept that. You know what's funny is I thought that that I 251 00:18:00.119 --> 00:18:03.160 felt that way, like, man, I think I really wanted a cigarette. 252 00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:07.519 And then I remember, like this is maybe like two years ago, 253 00:18:07.559 --> 00:18:11.960 and I quit smoking for like a couple months and was vaping. I was 254 00:18:11.000 --> 00:18:14.119 like, you know what, I think I'm gonna have a cigarette. I 255 00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:17.440 don't want to have one. I try that and then I and I lit 256 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:19.880 it up and I was like, the dope, this is not I did 257 00:18:19.920 --> 00:18:23.319 not want a cigarette. I thought I wanted a cigarette, but I did 258 00:18:23.359 --> 00:18:29.039 not because it was like it was actually pretty cool. I was just like, 259 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:33.519 dang, that's that's pretty awesome. That is gross. Oh god, 260 00:18:33.599 --> 00:18:36.960 yeah, it was nothing. It was And I'm like, I don't know 261 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.359 why I thought that was a good idea. Man, Why was I smoking? 262 00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.039 And again it goes back to the why didn't we just listen to people 263 00:18:42.119 --> 00:18:47.200 or why did we fight it so hard? Drinking never caused the same thing 264 00:18:47.240 --> 00:18:52.359 awesome to happen, right, It'd be one thing if it made me better 265 00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:56.160 at something, and that's that's part of me early on too, I thought 266 00:18:56.160 --> 00:18:57.079 it made me better on the radio, so I thought, yeah, I 267 00:18:57.160 --> 00:19:00.039 need to do it, But then I really eyes quickly no I didn't. 268 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.559 So then I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't drink on the air 269 00:19:03.559 --> 00:19:07.200 again. But yeah, smoking it's it's just disgusting. And there'll be times 270 00:19:07.200 --> 00:19:08.359 when you think that, and then you'll go out and you'll have a cigarette, 271 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:11.720 or you'll be around someone you're like, yeah, man, can I 272 00:19:11.759 --> 00:19:12.920 get one of those? And yeah, I'm like, oh my god, 273 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.279 and then you can't get the smell off your fingers and it's just horrible, 274 00:19:17.319 --> 00:19:18.839 and you're just doing this whole like, what the fuck? I really did 275 00:19:18.839 --> 00:19:23.720 they change the flavor of those? Because that is disgusting, Yeah, it 276 00:19:23.799 --> 00:19:27.079 really is. You know, quit quit smoking for a while and then try 277 00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:30.200 to jump back in it. And I don't make you not want to smoke 278 00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:34.279 again. I really will. Yeah, but if you keep at it, 279 00:19:34.319 --> 00:19:37.680 though, you'll fall right back into it, just like anything else. But 280 00:19:37.799 --> 00:19:41.680 nicotine is tough. So I gotta quit that, and then you know, 281 00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:47.519 I'll be able to afford a lot of great little things that I've been depriving 282 00:19:47.559 --> 00:19:52.079 myself from. So that'd be that'd be fun. And I think you're gonna 283 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:56.359 do it with me, right, yeah, yes, let's do it. 284 00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:00.440 And I'm not judging people that vape. I'm not judging people that smoke. 285 00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:07.799 I'm just trying to get the NFL network. I'm trying to about theater seats. 286 00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.880 You know what I'm saying. Yep? So were people problems? So 287 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:15.839 were people problems? So people problems. And you know you mentioned something the 288 00:20:15.880 --> 00:20:19.119 other day because you clean the apartment that we just moved out of. Oh 289 00:20:19.200 --> 00:20:23.720 god, yeah. And I was knocking these people because when we took that 290 00:20:23.759 --> 00:20:27.839 TV and we took the whole cover, I'm not gonna call it TV. 291 00:20:27.880 --> 00:20:30.799 I'm gonna call it the hole in the wall cover. We took that off 292 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:37.599 the wall. That thing was freaking filthy, like two inch thick, like 293 00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:44.319 just on the back of it. It was gross. And I said something 294 00:20:44.359 --> 00:20:47.359 about, like these people that own this house, I'm like, whoa are 295 00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:52.039 they doing? They couldn't even clean nothing. Apparently they didn't love God because 296 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.440 they say cleanliness and godliness or something. They know they go hand in hand 297 00:20:55.480 --> 00:21:00.480 or something. And you came back between our place and you were like it 298 00:21:00.599 --> 00:21:03.880 was disgusting. I was like nah, I'm not like this place, and 299 00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:08.119 you're like, yeah, worse and I was like what, yeah, no 300 00:21:08.359 --> 00:21:17.480 way, but it was yeah, I mean it wasn't there was it was. 301 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:22.519 It was just stuff that it's like, okay, basically the stuff that 302 00:21:22.599 --> 00:21:26.440 was just like, oh my gosh, this is the this is so awful. 303 00:21:26.440 --> 00:21:29.880 I can't believe that we actually didn't notice this was this bad is our 304 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:34.119 windows and that probably has a lot to do with the bathing too. What. 305 00:21:36.240 --> 00:21:41.480 Yeah, so it was like it was like black like because we had 306 00:21:41.480 --> 00:21:45.039 our blinds down all the time because we'd had no view to speak of at 307 00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:49.480 all, like at all, so there's really nothing to look at. But 308 00:21:51.559 --> 00:21:53.720 yeah, so I had to wipe it on all the windows and they were 309 00:21:53.799 --> 00:22:00.680 just like grimy and just disgusting. So she came on me, came on 310 00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.799 us for not keeping up with that with like, you know, a regular 311 00:22:04.839 --> 00:22:08.160 clean. But I cleaned the apartment regularly. It was a clean apartment. 312 00:22:08.920 --> 00:22:14.359 You know, you've vacuumed a lot. I cleaned the fridge out. Fridge 313 00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:18.440 was great, that was not difficult, but it was just those windows, 314 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:25.920 man, m yeah, it's bad. Yeah. I think some of that 315 00:22:25.960 --> 00:22:30.680 had to do with candles too. Because in my office I would have because 316 00:22:30.680 --> 00:22:33.079 I would clean it because the cat's hair would like stick to it, and 317 00:22:34.079 --> 00:22:37.279 so I did have the windows or the shades open there and the blinds open 318 00:22:37.359 --> 00:22:41.440 there. But yeah, I started feeling like, oh my goodness. So 319 00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:45.920 if you ever want to just do a real good house cleaning, just and 320 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:47.720 you might want to do it now before it gets too cold. If you 321 00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:49.799 live in Michigan, just take all your crap and put in the front yard 322 00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:55.440 and then just go back in and just look around and be like, oh 323 00:22:56.519 --> 00:23:00.119 well, and like cleaning your oven, like I clean the oven. That 324 00:23:00.279 --> 00:23:10.359 was an experience. The apple pie droppings pizza droppings. Yea, I used 325 00:23:10.359 --> 00:23:15.599 easy Off and it was pretty great. It worked really good. So you 326 00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:18.680 just buy it at home depot. We spray it and then you let it 327 00:23:18.759 --> 00:23:22.680 to overnight. This episode brought to you by easy Off. Sorry, oh 328 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:26.119 that's good. I hit them up. We'll keep saying there are our sponsor, 329 00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:30.519 like power Raid. This is also brought to you by power Raid until 330 00:23:30.559 --> 00:23:32.640 they tell us stop saying their name and then we're like, well, we 331 00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:34.200 want to pay us, and I'll probably call lawyer and we're like, you're 332 00:23:34.200 --> 00:23:45.359 gonna stop saying our name. There's one place though that I hope we can 333 00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:51.519 hook up with. It's the kampel Zoo State Theater and there's a show that's 334 00:23:51.559 --> 00:23:53.640 going on there and I think I told you about this movie at dinner, 335 00:23:53.680 --> 00:24:02.640 Marty, you did tell me Ancient Aliens and it's coming in November there, 336 00:24:02.680 --> 00:24:07.079 and I was like, hey, we can do a promotion. And because 337 00:24:07.160 --> 00:24:12.799 people in recovery, like we, I don't know what it is, but 338 00:24:14.160 --> 00:24:18.440 we have open minded different things, like we've been bs and ourselves so long 339 00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:22.319 that we just started to like look for other avenues to think different because we're 340 00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:26.799 now thinking for the first time. I have no idea, but we'll take 341 00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:30.160 some stuff that a lot of people are told, like, hey, this 342 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:33.160 is how this works, and we're like, no, I'm gonna check that 343 00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:40.960 out of myself. And Aliens is something that why not. But Jeremy and 344 00:24:41.279 --> 00:24:47.599 Mitch have that podcast redacted and they talk about some pretty while off the wall 345 00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:49.359 stuff, which is which is great, and they're having fun. You know, 346 00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:53.079 it's another thing that they could put in their tool belt to keep themselves 347 00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:57.160 sober. So that's heck, yeah, I'm all about that. Support that 348 00:24:57.240 --> 00:25:03.519 all day. But it's cool for them to actually get a chance to talk 349 00:25:03.559 --> 00:25:04.680 about that kind of stuff, and they're real geeked about it. And so 350 00:25:04.720 --> 00:25:07.799 I saw that it was coming to Kumbasoo State Theater. So I sent the 351 00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:11.440 email saying, Hey, I'd like to, you know, write a proposal 352 00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:14.240 for that and maybe you know, hook up and give some tickets away for 353 00:25:14.319 --> 00:25:18.720 that, And then I got the automatic response back that person was working anymore. 354 00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:21.000 And then somebody else emailed me. They're like, oh, what are 355 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:22.920 you talking about? What do you have in mind? So then I sent 356 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:26.480 that out on Friday and they're like, oh, they're gone for the weekend 357 00:25:26.519 --> 00:25:33.920 already. So automatic reply thing, I can't walking all over the board, 358 00:25:33.920 --> 00:25:37.599 And this is what Niko used to do, isn't it kind of Nico was 359 00:25:37.799 --> 00:25:41.119 eight times bigger. Sorry, I got can't problems right now. I'm not 360 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:45.799 right problems. No, he's sort a little guy and he's eight months nine 361 00:25:45.799 --> 00:25:51.559 months now. Yeah, yeah, he's a little buddy. I'm waa put 362 00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:53.319 him in time out last night though, Oh I didn't mean you. I 363 00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:03.480 walked him in the bathroom by accident. It. Yeah, animals are sweet, 364 00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:07.519 but so it's ancient aliens and hopefully we can score some tickets and do 365 00:26:07.559 --> 00:26:11.720 some kind of promotion with them, and we'll keep you posted. Would there 366 00:26:11.799 --> 00:26:15.519 be a chance to sound up online? It'd be very interesting. Would you 367 00:26:15.519 --> 00:26:19.799 go or would you would go? Would you absolutely? I think it'd be 368 00:26:19.799 --> 00:26:26.240 great. I find that stuff very interesting. I'm not down with all of 369 00:26:26.240 --> 00:26:33.519 it. But then again, you know, I'm not a scientist, so 370 00:26:33.200 --> 00:26:40.359 yeah, like there's some stuff I just can't wrap my head around. Like 371 00:26:40.400 --> 00:26:42.079 I'm like, there's like this is totally possible, and I'm like, is 372 00:26:42.119 --> 00:26:47.640 it? But is it? But I don't know. I mean maybe it 373 00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:49.119 is, so I mean, who am I to say? I'm like, 374 00:26:49.160 --> 00:26:53.559 I said, I'm not I don't know about physics, and I'll like crap 375 00:26:53.640 --> 00:26:57.480 that they know about. Oh, I wasn't gonna tell you anything, but 376 00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:00.680 I'll tell you now. This was in my office today and you were in 377 00:27:00.720 --> 00:27:07.839 your office doing your office stuff, people therapy thing, and Jeremy came in 378 00:27:08.079 --> 00:27:12.119 and told me that he saw a gray That's what's up? You know what 379 00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:17.920 I'm saying. I said, I'm sorry. He's like, I saw gray, 380 00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:22.079 old person, what are you trying? What are you talking about? 381 00:27:22.680 --> 00:27:26.359 He's like, no, alien, Yeah, I saw it this morning, 382 00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:30.119 he say. I opened my eyes, and I looked over and it was 383 00:27:30.200 --> 00:27:33.039 there. And then I looked over past something else and it looked back and 384 00:27:33.079 --> 00:27:37.960 it was gone. Like if I saw an alien, like, well, 385 00:27:37.200 --> 00:27:41.279 there's skull of theories here, because they would they would say your brain wouldn't 386 00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:44.799 even know how to compute, like like it would just not even see it. 387 00:27:45.079 --> 00:27:48.440 Right, I'm not sure I buy that, because there's some bugs and 388 00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:49.799 some spiders that I've never seen before, and when I see them, I 389 00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:56.799 see them, and I would have put aliens on the same grouping, Like 390 00:27:56.799 --> 00:28:00.759 you've never saw a rattles thing before and you're just like la la oh, 391 00:28:00.799 --> 00:28:07.319 your brain's just gonne not let you see that. I don't know, it 392 00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:11.240 sounds good, sure, whatever, But so that's the theory that some people 393 00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:15.119 have, like your brain couldn't even confuse, so you just would you see 394 00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:21.079 it? I don't know. But he say he saw it though, and 395 00:28:21.079 --> 00:28:23.079 then it was gone. But if I saw it, I don't think I 396 00:28:23.079 --> 00:28:27.039 would be like, look over there, alien in the corner and let me 397 00:28:27.079 --> 00:28:29.880 look wait, oh my god, you know, like I think I would 398 00:28:29.920 --> 00:28:33.480 be like the fucus the alien in the corner, Jesus, let's start praying 399 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.319 a lot, probably like real quick, and for him to just be gone, 400 00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:41.119 So we don't know. Jeremy like, because he was bending time and 401 00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:48.440 space and you didn't tell it you could fly. That's the thing. Jeremy 402 00:28:48.480 --> 00:28:49.160 tell me what time he could fly. I was like, well, don't 403 00:28:49.160 --> 00:28:52.880 go jumping off buildings. Okay, yeah, but I don't know. It 404 00:28:52.960 --> 00:28:57.039 was pretty interesting and he'll swear by it, and he was. And it's 405 00:28:57.039 --> 00:29:00.799 funny because Mitchell chime in too, because she was there and he's like, 406 00:29:00.839 --> 00:29:03.480 oh yeah, yeah, I don't know if he was just trying to egg 407 00:29:03.519 --> 00:29:07.799 him on or Jeremy really I believe he really thinks he saw an alien. 408 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:12.920 Oh you know, who are we to say he didn't? Right, So 409 00:29:14.079 --> 00:29:18.880 he needs to get up on stage, like not just run up on stage, 410 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:23.440 but like being invited from the take us like a mockey guy from run 411 00:29:23.519 --> 00:29:27.480 up on stage to be kicked out. Aliens Bro told me I could come 412 00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:30.039 up here that I'm sure they get a lot of those kind of people. 413 00:29:30.240 --> 00:29:33.759 Now, if he can fly up on stage, then he should do that. 414 00:29:33.640 --> 00:29:37.079 If you can like just not not even levitated, but just fly, 415 00:29:38.200 --> 00:29:41.319 you know, like Superman, if you can do that, then he can 416 00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:45.480 just help himself up on stage. People would love to see him up do 417 00:29:45.559 --> 00:29:48.799 that. I'm not talking about jumping off the balcony either. I'm talking about 418 00:29:48.880 --> 00:29:53.519 like from the back row, just flying on up to the front. They 419 00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:56.039 would welcome it. But if you can't do that, you probably just have 420 00:29:56.119 --> 00:29:59.039 a seat. But there's other ways, you know, he can probably like 421 00:29:59.200 --> 00:30:03.960 write an email or something like Yo, I saw a grain the other day. 422 00:30:03.920 --> 00:30:07.480 I wonder how many Oh my gosh, could you imagine being the two 423 00:30:07.440 --> 00:30:11.880 Sam mocking to look hockey guy from that show, that host with the crazy 424 00:30:11.920 --> 00:30:17.039 hair. Yeah, he probably has people who open mail. For the people 425 00:30:17.079 --> 00:30:19.400 that open his mail. How about his real names like Jeff Smith, but 426 00:30:19.720 --> 00:30:26.599 goes by Tisaki, Lockey water Hole. I remember his name is maybe because 427 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:32.440 name. Yeah, the emails that guy must get woo. That would be 428 00:30:32.480 --> 00:30:37.960 scary. It would be very scary. Anyway, I'm going to wrap it 429 00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:44.319 up now. I was just told to my wife you, so I'm gonna 430 00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:48.799 do that. But hit us up on Facebook X or Twitter, whatever it's 431 00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:51.160 called that. We don't really mess with that too much. Instagram kind of 432 00:30:51.200 --> 00:30:53.279 the same, but there's some people who follow us but get the app to 433 00:30:53.400 --> 00:30:56.599 seventeen Recovery. It's an app store. You can listen to all of our 434 00:30:56.680 --> 00:31:04.960 podcast there's resources is on there. We've updated our recovery homes list because the 435 00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:11.759 Michigan Association Recovery Residences known as MAR they had to lists on their website that 436 00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:15.000 we stole it from, and then we soon realized that this is garbage, 437 00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:18.440 Like a lot of those people aren't even in the positions, some of the 438 00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:22.880 phone numbers aren't right. Some of the people now take Matt that didn't take 439 00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:26.519 Matt, some of them have closed, and it's so we've been through or 440 00:31:26.519 --> 00:31:29.960 I've been having Mitch go through an updated but we'll have it, should have 441 00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:34.839 it updated by in the next week, like all complete. So yeah, 442 00:31:34.839 --> 00:31:37.839 I look for that because it can be frustrating when you're looking for so we're 443 00:31:37.839 --> 00:31:41.799 living and resources like that and you're calling people and the information you have is 444 00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:48.440 totally wrong. So definitely go by our list within the next week. I'd 445 00:31:48.440 --> 00:31:51.960 say by Wednesday, Yeah, it should be good to go. So if 446 00:31:51.960 --> 00:31:59.200 you're listening to this and it's Wednesday the sixth, then you're good go check 447 00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:02.880 it out. But thank you very much for listening, and we'll all talk 448 00:32:02.920 --> 00:32:07.400 to you. Thanks for Brittie, you have a great night. Thanks for 449 00:32:07.480 --> 00:32:12.559 listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. We hope you come back for our 450 00:32:12.599 --> 00:32:13.440 next episode.