This is the two seventeen Recovery podcast with Corey Winfield. Like, no,
it doesn't smell like that, you know, or whatever they're saying. I
don't know what porn starts, say the rappers and hold Marnie Winfield take that
into consideration, and she took it seriously. She saw firsthand, like way
too close, how devastating this disease can be. My it's already the second
of September. Hole, this one's flying by. My name is Cory Winfield.
My name's Martie Winfield. This is the two seventeen Recovery podcast. Morney
not impressed with a new open No, I think I think it shows a
lot of insight into like us in general. Yeah, you take it serious.
Not all the time we see in all fairness. That was when you
weren't on the podcast, and I think it was Adam Newth and I we
were talking about something else and m yeah, I had a good point with
whatever I was saying. Trust me. I'm sure you think you did trust
me? No, I did trust that. Trust me. You have to
trust me. Well, anyway, we're back. It's been a week I
think since we've done a podcast. Yeah's it been a week, It's just
time, is just craziness. Wednesday. I'm like, it's Wednesday, everybody.
We're Monday ago, We're Tuesday ago. I mean, it's just insane.
And you have just been a rock star moving stuff, putting stuff together,
unloading things, unpacking things, packing more things, throwing stuff, donating
things, moving things, halling things. Yeah, that's the word I have
for you. Yeah, it's insane. How are you doing well? I
think I want to look at its recognizing that it's a skill, but I
have that. I think that I've had a lot of practice with that in
my life mostly was like helping out, like my mom, She's moved a
bunch of time, and I don't know, I've always liked to organize things
and like make spaces nice, especially my own, And so I think the
biggest, the hardest part about this move was just the chaos of it all,
like the when you're in that you know, limbo of things not being
exactly how you want them to be, and they're they're still not, but
they're getting closer. So and then actually having like finished product, like seeing
hard work, you know, the results of it, and how I'm making
things beautiful and that makes me happy. You're doing a good job. And
I just realized that. And you should probably do this to add painting to
your profile on LinkedIn. Behind to paint, I don't know about that,
but and that's that's the beauty of things. Like you don't want to be
the point guard that replaced Michael Jordan. You know what I'm saying. You
didn't want to be the quarterback that you know has to replace Tom Brady.
You don't want to follow a legend. You know, you want to come
in after Baker Mayfield's been there for a minute, or like I don't know
some of these other quarterbacks that Wilson Russell Wilson. Yes, I've started on
that. But because the people who own this house before us, they I
don't know what they were good at. They were good at some in life,
because God gives everybody's skill and there's like something special about you. But
these people could not paint, they could not clean. They were good at
half assing things to the peers. But and that's not fair to people who
have half ass things, because this is this is like a yeah, it
almost seems like the movie The Money Pit, but it's not that bad.
It's not that bad, not that bad. Oh, it's not that bad,
but it seems like it sometimes. In all fairness, my thoughts are
that maybe it's something that they wanted to do themselves because they wanted to save
some money, and they were very well aware that they we're not that great
at painting, but they were okay with what they came up with and so,
and they were the ones living here, so that's all that really mattered.
Like one of the rooms, like they're not like, oh, we
better do a really good job or pay extra money to have it done professionally.
So when the people that move in here after we leave are going to
be not disappointed. I'm sure they that was not on there and they're thought
patterns. Yeah, if they would have done things right, we probably wouldn't
have been able to afford this place. It's really true. And like one
of the hallways kind of goes up to the second floor, third floor or
whatever, but in the kitchen, like the hallway kind of continues into the
kitchen, and they like, we started painting it, and then they got
to like where they're going to the hall and they're like, okay, here
meets the kitchen there. Let's like let's just do one swipe, like it's
just the Yeah, you get the point. It was half fast. So
we had to redo this one wall we did today because we removed the TV
because I'm all right, I'm hanging this TV up and then there's a big
hole in the wall and I'm like, well, that's why they left the
TV, because then if like replace them or repairing the hole. So instead
of hanging the TV, the TV has still been sitting on the floor and
I know it's pet PVRs and I would really like to get it off the
floor and onto a wall now and really kind of move into this place.
And so we had to like do a bunch of stuff you know, were
done before. And I did a really shitty job of patching the wall.
But it is going to be behind a TV mount. But there's just not
gonna be a hole there anymore. So like the quality of the job,
it wasn't really it wasn't needing to be perfection. Like if nothing was going
on the wall, then yeah, sure absolutely would done a better job.
But it like this just needs to match up the hole so I can cut
another hole in it for wires, hang my wire things another hole. Yeah,
but that hole will be covered with something. Anyway. We were painting
this wall and I am not a good painter, and you came in there
and you're just like it's like when you ask your three year old to go
throw something away and then you go look and it's like not even in the
trash or they put it under your pillow, and you're like, what are
you doing? Like that was the looking that you gave me when I was
like, I'm ready to paint, and you're like, okay, let me
see. This is not even close, this is not even ready. What
are you doing, you idiot? You got a vacuum this you all this
dust here, like all this paint and saw sand. What is that called
sand dust? No, I'm so tired. It was drywall dust. Yeah,
drywall dust. Just making words up again, and you're just like you
can't do that with that there. You're gonna vacuum that up. And I
mean you you have the like basics, but the other you're like, I
know I need to put a cloth down, and you're like, I know
I'm gonna need some paint. I have this paint, I'll open it up
and I know I'm gost put it in this pan and here's these brushes,
let's go. Yeah, that's okay, though you don't know. I mean,
and the only reason I know is because I've I've had to do it
before, and I even myself, I'm not I don't consider myself to be
professional, but and it's one of those things where like you need to have
the patience to do it. Lots of times people that are not good painters
is just because you're trying to do it too fast and you're not being mindful
of, you know, taking your time to be detailed. Yeah, I
just want to throw some paint up there. I know you do. I
mean, I was, You're like, yeah, I was there, I
saw what you're doing. Yeah, I'm like, you do realize that you
will roll down this wall and all this dirt will get onto your brush and
then it will be painted like textured paint with just but it will be dirt
and dust and who knows what else. But it's okay, it's not our
neither of our four days. So okay, yeah, just give me pulsit.
I would to look to go okay though. Yeah. So that's that's
what we've been up to, man, all kinds of like not family drama,
but oh family drama. Man, I don't nothing I can do about
it. And it's just crazy. How and now we're like switching to recovery
talked real quick. See how we do that? Oh nice? Not a
dime, no, because this is something that has been awaying. I mean,
it's just like some people will come to us because you know we got
old. Congratulations by the way, in your four years, thank you,
good job money, thank you get her for four years on Wednesday. Yeah,
so congratulations, thank you for my coin. Yes, it's beautiful like
it. It's in my it's in my well. I don't know how.
I don't want to get off topic anyway. I have place where I put
my coins up. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, I'm the one who
got us to got off got us Nope, not going there. I'm the
one who took the train off the tracks there, so let's go back,
okay. So my when people reach out to us, sometimes it feels like
they're like, hey, Corey and Marty can help. If you're a mechanic
and people are always like hitting you up, Hey needs to fix my car,
that's what us. But with people seeking help, seeking treatment, seeking
seeking, you know, recovery advice whatever, that's us. You know,
people reach out to us and unlike of the mechanic, there's nothing we can
do to fix that person. You know, we can offer advice, we
can kind of say what we've done, stuff that has worked for us.
I mean, you're a therapist, so you can probably go into a little
more detail. But that's all I can do. Like, here's what worked
for me years what didn't work for me. I've seen this work for other
people. I've seen this not work. I mean, you can try this,
try that, but you kind of give them the basics. And the
basics are does this person really want it? They might think they want it,
but only want to work fifty percent of the program. And the program
I'm not talking about AA or AN, I'm talking about their program, right.
You can't well, you can just be sober and live the rest of
your life, sure, but being in recovery something something completely different. You
know. It's a whole lifestyle, you know, and it's a good lifestyle.
It's fun. But the person has to be committed. And they might
think they're committed. And that's fine. At least they're they're trying. At
least they're they're moving forward with something an attempt at it. But for some
people who are just like, don't got a problem, a my thing,
and they got four duys, they get sentenced or something, you know,
and they go out and party that night, and it's like, okay,
not it's not clicking. And as someone who's been through it, you have
to Marney, you've you've felt the pain, the shame, all of that,
and we wouldn't do anything different because then we wouldn't have met each other,
and blah blah blah blah. But it sure would have been nice to
get it right earlier. You know, you don't have to make this a
long painful journey being in recovery. Some people do. I did, you
did too. We just tried to hold on and no, I don't have
a problem. And it wasn't until I almost died that I hadn't. Okay,
I have a problem. I have. And unfortunately, that's what it
takes for a lot of people is to hit that rock bottom. You know,
you have to get evicted, if lose your job, you know,
kids get taken away, whatever it is, you can get divorced, and
still it's not enough, right And for people that are like, oh,
I'm gonna do it for my husband, or I'm gonna do it for my
girlfriend or my kids or my mom. You can't, it just can't.
It sounds good when you're saying it, and then when they look at you
and go, why can't you just quit drinking? You promised me you win
it, Well, that's because it can't be done that way. They can
do it for their from themselves. Like if you have a son or something
daughter and you're like, I'm gonna quit for myself so that I can be
there for my son. That is something completely different to say, well,
I'm quitting for musouan because musun he wants me to win. Yeah. Yeah,
everybody wants you to right, except for the guy at the store,
But that's either here nor there. I'm just just saying it's tough. You
know, when people reach out and from people I know, and when they
don't reach out but yet I know, and others reach out and they're like,
hey, reach out to this person, I'm like, well, it's
not going to help. And I think too that another piece that that we're
still that it comes up a lot is it's not really internalizing other people's issues.
It's not like making them their own, but being human beings and definitely
because of what we've been through and when we hear these stories and we hear
these people struggle, regardless if it's just people that we know, or it's
people that I am, you know, working with at my job, or
people that come into two seventeen or friends of mine or family of mine or
whatever, it is, like it can it weighs on you, you know,
like it it gets that. It's like because we kind of are at
the same time, it's it's inevitable that we sort of somehow take on a
little bit of that hopelessness because it's like we want that so bad for those
people, because we care about them, to figure it out and to be
like why are you why are you not seeing these signs here? Like why
are we why are you not paying attention to what's actually going on? And
then part of that is me rewinding, like back in the day, actually
reliving moments where I'm just like why did I not get it? Like man,
was that? Like it's almost reliving that piece like that was me Like
what the hell? Like you know, I'm not I can't judge because I
did the same thing for freaking years. You know, I'm not exactly the
same, but it's like and then you're racking your brain, like and here
I am, you know, with a degree in everything, and I'm still
like, sometimes there's just no words for those people. You know, it's
not about it's about them being ready to actually admit that they were they need
to work on themselves and that they need to address this issue and amongst other
issues, because nine times out of ten, it's not just substance use disorder.
There's there's other things going on. That's why we drink. It's just
symptom of our real issues that are going on. Maybe it's relationships, maybe
it's trauma, you know, maybe we have other mental health stuff that's going
on that go they go hand in hand. All those are real things,
and until you really get to the bottom of it, all our go to
is booze and drugs, you know. And trauma doesn't necessarily mean like,
oh trauma, I was beaten as a kid. I don't know. Trauma
can happen as an adult too. You and I are lucky enough morning we
have not lost a parent, and there are many people we know who have
and that is very traumatic, you know, And sometimes sometimes people say,
well, you have to get over it, but you don't have to get
over losing a loved one. You know. I don't think my mom's ever
gotten over my grandma's. But we can accept it and you know, make
the most of it here to day, you know, as we move on
with our lives. But I don't think you need to get over it,
right, you know, And it's it's something that's it's a personal thing between
people. And so you lost somebody you know, or maybe you are,
we're living something from your childhood. You know, just talk to somebody to
get that off your chest. And then where you're talking about it, the
easier it is, and you know, there are professionals out there that that
can help you with that. And sometimes people think, oh, man,
that's too expensive, and you start realizing, like we were talking earlier,
I'm like, man, if I just cut out vaping, like I could
afford a lot more things, and just little things. And I'm not talking
about like a bowlt or anything like that. I'm just talking about like when
when we're like, hey, we can hire somebody for a couple hundred bucks
to paint that room, Well, here's the way to do it. Quit
vaping, you know, like it's as simple as that. And I was
like, man, I could have the NFL package, you know, if
I just quit vaping. And it was actually we were driving I was talking
about it reminded me of when I was an active addiction and I'd wear these
pants that the holes in the crotch and shirt that I had for who knows
how long I had holes in it too, And I don't dare buy another
shirt or pair of pants because well, I need that money for alcohol,
you know, I'll drop it in the liquor store with it like like it's
nothing, but actually buying something that I would need or could use. Oh
no, no, no, I can't do that, you know. And
it's just like m like it seems like an easy decision for most people to
make, like, well, if you want the NFL network, then just
quit vaping and you can do that. And nicotine, that's a whole another
monster too, And they say that's actually harder than the drinking thing, And
I have no idea. I know smoking was was crazy hard until I started
vaping, but again it was the nicotine. But then smoking though, when
I watched movies and somebody's lightening up a cigarette or something like, damn on
a cigarette. I don't think that I'll ever go away. And that's fine.
I accept that. You know what's funny is I thought that that I
felt that way, like, man, I think I really wanted a cigarette.
And then I remember, like this is maybe like two years ago,
and I quit smoking for like a couple months and was vaping. I was
like, you know what, I think I'm gonna have a cigarette. I
don't want to have one. I try that and then I and I lit
it up and I was like, the dope, this is not I did
not want a cigarette. I thought I wanted a cigarette, but I did
not because it was like it was actually pretty cool. I was just like,
dang, that's that's pretty awesome. That is gross. Oh god,
yeah, it was nothing. It was And I'm like, I don't know
why I thought that was a good idea. Man, Why was I smoking?
And again it goes back to the why didn't we just listen to people
or why did we fight it so hard? Drinking never caused the same thing
awesome to happen, right, It'd be one thing if it made me better
at something, and that's that's part of me early on too, I thought
it made me better on the radio, so I thought, yeah, I
need to do it, But then I really eyes quickly no I didn't.
So then I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't drink on the air
again. But yeah, smoking it's it's just disgusting. And there'll be times
when you think that, and then you'll go out and you'll have a cigarette,
or you'll be around someone you're like, yeah, man, can I
get one of those? And yeah, I'm like, oh my god,
and then you can't get the smell off your fingers and it's just horrible,
and you're just doing this whole like, what the fuck? I really did
they change the flavor of those? Because that is disgusting, Yeah, it
really is. You know, quit quit smoking for a while and then try
to jump back in it. And I don't make you not want to smoke
again. I really will. Yeah, but if you keep at it,
though, you'll fall right back into it, just like anything else. But
nicotine is tough. So I gotta quit that, and then you know,
I'll be able to afford a lot of great little things that I've been depriving
myself from. So that'd be that'd be fun. And I think you're gonna
do it with me, right, yeah, yes, let's do it.
And I'm not judging people that vape. I'm not judging people that smoke.
I'm just trying to get the NFL network. I'm trying to about theater seats.
You know what I'm saying. Yep? So were people problems? So
were people problems? So people problems. And you know you mentioned something the
other day because you clean the apartment that we just moved out of. Oh
god, yeah. And I was knocking these people because when we took that
TV and we took the whole cover, I'm not gonna call it TV.
I'm gonna call it the hole in the wall cover. We took that off
the wall. That thing was freaking filthy, like two inch thick, like
just on the back of it. It was gross. And I said something
about, like these people that own this house, I'm like, whoa are
they doing? They couldn't even clean nothing. Apparently they didn't love God because
they say cleanliness and godliness or something. They know they go hand in hand
or something. And you came back between our place and you were like it
was disgusting. I was like nah, I'm not like this place, and
you're like, yeah, worse and I was like what, yeah, no
way, but it was yeah, I mean it wasn't there was it was.
It was just stuff that it's like, okay, basically the stuff that
was just like, oh my gosh, this is the this is so awful.
I can't believe that we actually didn't notice this was this bad is our
windows and that probably has a lot to do with the bathing too. What.
Yeah, so it was like it was like black like because we had
our blinds down all the time because we'd had no view to speak of at
all, like at all, so there's really nothing to look at. But
yeah, so I had to wipe it on all the windows and they were
just like grimy and just disgusting. So she came on me, came on
us for not keeping up with that with like, you know, a regular
clean. But I cleaned the apartment regularly. It was a clean apartment.
You know, you've vacuumed a lot. I cleaned the fridge out. Fridge
was great, that was not difficult, but it was just those windows,
man, m yeah, it's bad. Yeah. I think some of that
had to do with candles too. Because in my office I would have because
I would clean it because the cat's hair would like stick to it, and
so I did have the windows or the shades open there and the blinds open
there. But yeah, I started feeling like, oh my goodness. So
if you ever want to just do a real good house cleaning, just and
you might want to do it now before it gets too cold. If you
live in Michigan, just take all your crap and put in the front yard
and then just go back in and just look around and be like, oh
well, and like cleaning your oven, like I clean the oven. That
was an experience. The apple pie droppings pizza droppings. Yea, I used
easy Off and it was pretty great. It worked really good. So you
just buy it at home depot. We spray it and then you let it
to overnight. This episode brought to you by easy Off. Sorry, oh
that's good. I hit them up. We'll keep saying there are our sponsor,
like power Raid. This is also brought to you by power Raid until
they tell us stop saying their name and then we're like, well, we
want to pay us, and I'll probably call lawyer and we're like, you're
gonna stop saying our name. There's one place though that I hope we can
hook up with. It's the kampel Zoo State Theater and there's a show that's
going on there and I think I told you about this movie at dinner,
Marty, you did tell me Ancient Aliens and it's coming in November there,
and I was like, hey, we can do a promotion. And because
people in recovery, like we, I don't know what it is, but
we have open minded different things, like we've been bs and ourselves so long
that we just started to like look for other avenues to think different because we're
now thinking for the first time. I have no idea, but we'll take
some stuff that a lot of people are told, like, hey, this
is how this works, and we're like, no, I'm gonna check that
out of myself. And Aliens is something that why not. But Jeremy and
Mitch have that podcast redacted and they talk about some pretty while off the wall
stuff, which is which is great, and they're having fun. You know,
it's another thing that they could put in their tool belt to keep themselves
sober. So that's heck, yeah, I'm all about that. Support that
all day. But it's cool for them to actually get a chance to talk
about that kind of stuff, and they're real geeked about it. And so
I saw that it was coming to Kumbasoo State Theater. So I sent the
email saying, Hey, I'd like to, you know, write a proposal
for that and maybe you know, hook up and give some tickets away for
that, And then I got the automatic response back that person was working anymore.
And then somebody else emailed me. They're like, oh, what are
you talking about? What do you have in mind? So then I sent
that out on Friday and they're like, oh, they're gone for the weekend
already. So automatic reply thing, I can't walking all over the board,
And this is what Niko used to do, isn't it kind of Nico was
eight times bigger. Sorry, I got can't problems right now. I'm not
right problems. No, he's sort a little guy and he's eight months nine
months now. Yeah, yeah, he's a little buddy. I'm waa put
him in time out last night though, Oh I didn't mean you. I
walked him in the bathroom by accident. It. Yeah, animals are sweet,
but so it's ancient aliens and hopefully we can score some tickets and do
some kind of promotion with them, and we'll keep you posted. Would there
be a chance to sound up online? It'd be very interesting. Would you
go or would you would go? Would you absolutely? I think it'd be
great. I find that stuff very interesting. I'm not down with all of
it. But then again, you know, I'm not a scientist, so
yeah, like there's some stuff I just can't wrap my head around. Like
I'm like, there's like this is totally possible, and I'm like, is
it? But is it? But I don't know. I mean maybe it
is, so I mean, who am I to say? I'm like,
I said, I'm not I don't know about physics, and I'll like crap
that they know about. Oh, I wasn't gonna tell you anything, but
I'll tell you now. This was in my office today and you were in
your office doing your office stuff, people therapy thing, and Jeremy came in
and told me that he saw a gray That's what's up? You know what
I'm saying. I said, I'm sorry. He's like, I saw gray,
old person, what are you trying? What are you talking about?
He's like, no, alien, Yeah, I saw it this morning,
he say. I opened my eyes, and I looked over and it was
there. And then I looked over past something else and it looked back and
it was gone. Like if I saw an alien, like, well,
there's skull of theories here, because they would they would say your brain wouldn't
even know how to compute, like like it would just not even see it.
Right, I'm not sure I buy that, because there's some bugs and
some spiders that I've never seen before, and when I see them, I
see them, and I would have put aliens on the same grouping, Like
you've never saw a rattles thing before and you're just like la la oh,
your brain's just gonne not let you see that. I don't know, it
sounds good, sure, whatever, But so that's the theory that some people
have, like your brain couldn't even confuse, so you just would you see
it? I don't know. But he say he saw it though, and
then it was gone. But if I saw it, I don't think I
would be like, look over there, alien in the corner and let me
look wait, oh my god, you know, like I think I would
be like the fucus the alien in the corner, Jesus, let's start praying
a lot, probably like real quick, and for him to just be gone,
So we don't know. Jeremy like, because he was bending time and
space and you didn't tell it you could fly. That's the thing. Jeremy
tell me what time he could fly. I was like, well, don't
go jumping off buildings. Okay, yeah, but I don't know. It
was pretty interesting and he'll swear by it, and he was. And it's
funny because Mitchell chime in too, because she was there and he's like,
oh yeah, yeah, I don't know if he was just trying to egg
him on or Jeremy really I believe he really thinks he saw an alien.
Oh you know, who are we to say he didn't? Right, So
he needs to get up on stage, like not just run up on stage,
but like being invited from the take us like a mockey guy from run
up on stage to be kicked out. Aliens Bro told me I could come
up here that I'm sure they get a lot of those kind of people.
Now, if he can fly up on stage, then he should do that.
If you can like just not not even levitated, but just fly,
you know, like Superman, if you can do that, then he can
just help himself up on stage. People would love to see him up do
that. I'm not talking about jumping off the balcony either. I'm talking about
like from the back row, just flying on up to the front. They
would welcome it. But if you can't do that, you probably just have
a seat. But there's other ways, you know, he can probably like
write an email or something like Yo, I saw a grain the other day.
I wonder how many Oh my gosh, could you imagine being the two
Sam mocking to look hockey guy from that show, that host with the crazy
hair. Yeah, he probably has people who open mail. For the people
that open his mail. How about his real names like Jeff Smith, but
goes by Tisaki, Lockey water Hole. I remember his name is maybe because
name. Yeah, the emails that guy must get woo. That would be
scary. It would be very scary. Anyway, I'm going to wrap it
up now. I was just told to my wife you, so I'm gonna
do that. But hit us up on Facebook X or Twitter, whatever it's
called that. We don't really mess with that too much. Instagram kind of
the same, but there's some people who follow us but get the app to
seventeen Recovery. It's an app store. You can listen to all of our
podcast there's resources is on there. We've updated our recovery homes list because the
Michigan Association Recovery Residences known as MAR they had to lists on their website that
we stole it from, and then we soon realized that this is garbage,
Like a lot of those people aren't even in the positions, some of the
phone numbers aren't right. Some of the people now take Matt that didn't take
Matt, some of them have closed, and it's so we've been through or
I've been having Mitch go through an updated but we'll have it, should have
it updated by in the next week, like all complete. So yeah,
I look for that because it can be frustrating when you're looking for so we're
living and resources like that and you're calling people and the information you have is
totally wrong. So definitely go by our list within the next week. I'd
say by Wednesday, Yeah, it should be good to go. So if
you're listening to this and it's Wednesday the sixth, then you're good go check
it out. But thank you very much for listening, and we'll all talk
to you. Thanks for Brittie, you have a great night. Thanks for
listening to the two seventeen Recovery podcast. We hope you come back for our
next episode.