Life decisions. Okay, just briefly and then we'll get back into the slide
sheet. Her first husband, she was a full on, raging drug addict.
Yeah, like pills, right, Yeah. I don't know where he
has now, it's probably dead. Ups, he's on bumble. There's a
lot of stuff, all of it's good, a lot of its bad.
TV. Joining us today is my baby sister, Ruby Ran. I'm very
excited for this, Pat. Why are you holding your hands like that?
Well, because I'm hearing a lot of room noise. I know me too.
Oh it's that microphone if your sister, it's a super mic that Ruby's
on. Ruby, will you say hi? Everybody? Hi? Everybody?
Okay, So I am very much looking forward to this because it's a show
where me and Pat don't really need to do anything. Um. Ruby is
going to walk us through the entirety of the developing pop culture phenomenon that hath
pretty much been developed already, um known as the scand of Dylan. Okay,
so um this has been taking the world by storm. The New York
Times is reporting on it. The New York Times, Actually, what were
we watching the other night? Don't watch what happens? They have like an
They have a scroll. They have a scroll on their website dedicated to the
scand of All. So what Ruby is doing right now is UM. I
don't know, it's a it's like a what it's not um? What do
you call it? Um? What do you call it? Um? And
in depth review of the history, it's more of a recount. It's like
when you do like a selfless it's like a public good, like like a
public works, public service. That's that's exactly what it is. It's a
public service for our fans to break down this thing known as the scand of
All. Now, let me set this up. That was really good,
Dylan pitch this to me. Now. I love Ruby, but I'm like,
you know, if you're going to come in here into the pat Cave
and you're gonna be on THEE another podcast network, you've got to bring something
to the table. And I was thinking, look, has the meat been
picked over? I mean, everybody including CNN is talking about yeah, what's
her name? Rachel and scandal all? And I'm thinking, is there anything
left to give new to the people? And in fact there is. You
have You're gonna go through a history of the show, right, Ruby,
I am, and I would also encourage the two of you. God,
your mic sounds so weird. I don't know why that mic sounds so weird.
You're making me feel very and now just speak into it. Yeah,
I guess I would like you too to ask questions because it's it is,
it's the truth is stranger than fiction in this instance, and it has been
for like a decade, which you know, where else can we say that?
Well? So, so Pat and I were discussing like is it worth
having her on? Like we should probably just not her on because she's ruined
the show and stuff. How's that coffee by the way, delicious? I
don't think it's as strong as I wanted it, but oh it's strong.
What is that? A large iced vanilla Americano dry with three fourths powder?
Nice? Okay, So what we landed on though, was that your quasi
psychotic encyclopedic knowledge of this show would provide new insights or old insights, but
whatever they are, we're going to gab, we're going to goof, and
we're going to learn everything we can possibly know about the scandal. All a
couple questions. Yeah, because this is going to be the barometer for how
my understanding of how Psycho Ruby is for the show, and that SD card
only has forty three minutes on it, so may I call up? We
should get into it. But I'm just letting you know Ruby. Yeah,
several of the cast members live in a one mile radius of this studio.
Right have you been buy their homes? Not since coming home but in my
life? Yes, of course. Okay, because Jackson, Um, don't
Jackson? Yeah? Come on, Jackson Brittany. Yeah, I thought you
were gonna say Jackson as his full name. They don't even live here.
No, no, no, no, he is named he is a Mortal
Kombat character. Right. Did you know that Kristen lives one block from here?
No? Oh, we're in her cute house. They in her lovely,
lovely house with character that's actually built of wood. Yeah. If I
had a good arm, I could throw a rock from where we are and
I could hit it well. And Jackson Brittany used to live around for Mom,
right they do they? Yeah, of course they all kind of do.
But yes, Arianna and Tom technically live closest to Mom. Okay,
cool, so um, so we're in their backyard. This is the city
of Angels. This but the question was asked to see how Psycho Ruby was
she knows where they live. Oh, that was the question. That's the
second question before we get started. Um, look, I've been watching the
show. I've been in and out of it for since it started. I
actually a little confession here. I would tell my guy buddies watch Under Pump
Rules and know the cast in the episodes very well. Then go to a
bar where there are lots of females if you're you know, you're a single
guy or whatnot, and start talking to your other buddy about what happened on
the last episode of vander Pump Rules. And if you you want to think,
women don't listen when you're talking, Yeah, it would pull women right
in. Yeah, and they'll they'll pull you, pull them in right away.
And the women will be put at ease because they'll know that they have
two gay men that they can talk to right next to them. They're not
going to get hit on it. But that's when the batons. That's the
track. Yeah, that's that little fish deep in the ocean that has the
little light that hangs off its forehead. Angler, Yeah, what's that light?
Before you know, you're in his fucking belly right right, yate you
Yeah? Okay, So the scandal, I'll explain a breakdown of the developing
pop culture phenomenon is a psychotic power point that was created by you and your
friends. You've done, I dare I say, academic work on this.
Yeah. I also want to clarify that this was originally sent to me by
one of my dearest friends, but the power print personation in its original form
was sent to her by her coworker, whose name I truly do not know
because I've never met. But this among many of your things on Reddit,
and this specific template, yeah, which is designed through Microsoft PowerPoint. Like,
I didn't do it right, it was just there. It was it
asked for us to do. Hey, Ruby, I don't want to tell
you how to do your business next time. Just take full credit for you.
Now you know what this is like. It's like a pre con like
a preconstructed deck that comes out with any new set of magicy gathering out of
the box. That's competitive. But what you can do is you can buy
singles and kind of jack at the fuck here you go? You know what
I mean? Right, So let's get into it. The card only has
thirty five minutes five. Can you hit like play on it because it's not
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course what happens like how do you think?
Oh okay yeah, no no no, no, no, Dylan,
Dylan. It's just like what you want to Oh okay, all right,
okay, well how do you go? Okay? Got it? All right?
So Ruby begin the scandal all explained a breakdown culture phenomenon next life,
Please thank you, that's the title card. YEA very important a little history.
LVP and Ken invested five hundred thousand dollars into SIR in two thousand and
five. So that's Lisa vander Pump, her husband Ken Todd. They move
over here from Europe. Um they think that the restaurants is a good,
good idea, and lo and behold. She five years later, appears on
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills also known as Rob Yeah. Everybody kind of loved
her. I think just because she was British and had a lot of dogs.
Now I can't explain their wealth. I've always pondered that they live.
They lived in the Beverly Hill estates for a while. That is like Eddie
Murphy lives there. That's you have to have a bee in front of your
portfolio to live there. As far as I can gather, all they've ever
explained their wealth was accumulated by owning clubs and restaurants. Yeah, I don't
know, restaurants eventually go down there. Villa Blanca there, which was before
this is out of business. Sure, sure, it's just not. It's
something you get into to have a little fun and you make your money and
then eventually the good looking people won't show up anymore and you're done. That
being said, I've never, even when I was a good looking young man,
never was got in through the doors of sir lounge. I always got
turned away. Wow. Really, And I used to go there with hot
dates too, Wow wow, never made it in. Oh my god,
that's so sad. That's terrible. Sorry, in a row, No,
I'm so sorry that happened. Oh my god, what a painful life experience.
Yeah. The girl that I the girl that I went on a date
with that we went and had drinks and dinner and then we were going to
go there. Yeah. The fact that we couldn't get in deemed me a
loser. Yeah. Yeah, and yeah she never she never returned to me
again. Yeah, Okay, So what's up next? Um? Okay,
So then basically her staff, we're sort of featured a little bit. They
they liaised with real housewives with Beverly Hills. Okay. Also the restaurants,
Sir, Sexy Unique Restaurant is what it stands for. They were all they
were young, they were sucking and fucking each other. So naturally, Andy
brilliant Cohen said, let's do this right, vander Primp Proles was born.
Well, I don't want to tell you. You know your history, but
Sina Shay was banging Brandy Grandville's husband, Okay, and I just want to
but that happened before the show. I understand, But I just want to
just take the limitter off of you. And if he sasses you again or
does anything like that again, please feel free to quite literally have a blood
feud out on this. This is why I love brothers and sisters for sure.
I love the relationship. I'm sorry, I just want to clarify it.
You knew that already, yeah, I know, but that that in
terms of bloodshed that I like bloodshed a little even more than Dylan. I
love Bludge. Ruby is a vengeful young woman. Again, I don't want
to be disrespectful to Ruby's retelling of the history of this. But it was
the episode Beverly Hills Housewives in which Lisa vander Pump said, why don't you
go talk to Shena Sha. I believe she was banging her husband, and
that's when Brandy went over productive. Is this productive? That's how the show
started, Dick. I don't want to be aggressive towards you. Okay.
That was in season two And the only reason that I know that is because
I had to look it up because I thought that that's what they did with
Summer House and Vanderfump Rules. Remember when they merged them together and they had
that two hour and we were like, why is this episode of vander Rump
Roules so long? And Stacey's Kyle is blacked out into a hot tub,
calling Stacy Steve jobs because high on my face, I'll shut up from duting
to whatever it was. And if I'm wrong and everybody's screaming at me,
don't say anything because my self esteem can't handle it. I think you're right,
and I think Garbage Tits is very proud. Next slide next, next,
next, Okay, early couples that we must know Tom Sandoval Kristen Dowdy,
Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney, Jason Jack's Couchy Taylor and Stacy Schroeder.
And they're just they were fired for being racist, I believe, So they're
not really that important the important watch that again. They had a kind of
an oh sorry tweets, no you going okay? So they had an ancillary
girl that worked at a figure on the show that worked at the restaurant briefly
who happened to be a black girl, and Facets and Kristin went on a
podcast talking about how they'd actually made a phone call I believe to nine one
one, and I think it was a joke that they were telling on a
podcast. Bravo got wind that they were basically calling a fake nine one one
call on a black girl, and they were thus terminated. Got it,
got it, got it? And what did Jack's do? He bored us.
He was just dumb and a drunk and a cheater. I believe that
he was racist. Tweets that was okay, got it, And we can
say goodbye to Jack's because what Jack's is doing now is he has been come
fully kind of sewn into the couch of domestic bliss. He is eating corn,
he is eating potatoes, He's eating a country fried steak, various different
crock potted proteins, and he is happy. Okay, next line, everything's
brown. Tom and Kristen they were together for a very long time, around
five years. Everybody's cheating on everybody eventually, and this was just a catastrophic,
beautiful moment for us all. Kristen admits that she had been fucking Jack's
for a while, including a time where Tom Standerville was asleep and he went
down on her. Okay, he was there, so that's them. Wow,
So Tom has been cheated on before, Well, they've all cheated on
each other when Tom has also cheated on This is why I have a little
issue with this drama, perceived drama. The whole show was built on friends
fucking each other's partner, right, and you're all offended by this. Now,
this is where we're getting. We're at a bit of a rubicon crossing
here because we're experiencing the same thing with Summerhouse, where it's like and vander
Pump went through this. It's it's growing pains a little bit when you realize
that the og cast is phasing out a little bit. They're getting older,
they're getting more monogamous, they're getting fatter, they're getting more boring. You
have to bring in a new crop of people. Now, the new crop
of people could be absolutely horrible. Nobody wants to see new people come into
the challenge. You know, we want to see Johnny Bananas go at it.
You know what I mean. But Johnny Bananas is he's puffy and he's
um. All right, let's get to the next line. Puffy. He
is Tom Schwartz and Katie. Okay, they've been together since forever, they
were an og couple. They got married in twenty nineteen. I truly have
lots kind of how many times he's cheated on her. He there are very
epic moments when one of which when they were on vacation and she was crying
on a patio and she said to him that she just wanted him to listen
so that she could like feel heard, and he said the problem is that
I hate the sound of your voice. And I did a different time in
Katie's life when she dyed her hair orange, he poured a drink on her
in public. Okay, well that's right. I remember that Schwartz gets away
with like kind of golden retriever. Stupidity a lot. But Schwartz is a
gross. He's gross right, next point. Somehow I do not know how
he is still deemed indearing. I don't get it, but you're exactly right.
Yeah that I remember that scene. I remember that scene. I was
like, whoa, that's like physical assaw, that is physical as so she's
like on television you know. Now she had admitted that even before they got
married, um, that they weren't having sex anymore. They were basically like
friends on TV together, right, Okay, yeah, you should probably uh
right, not get married. What's your thought Patrick on their nicknames for each
other, which is babba? Well, I call my wife babu, so
very similar. So I think I'm okay with it. What are your thoughts
on it? I think it's fine. I just was wondering because you guys
were saying that people should call each other laser, which I loved you.
When did we say that? You said it? Okay? Next, no,
no, no, excuse me. Katie's just and again I don't want
to speak ill of her, because she did eventually say we should get a
divorced, but it took her a while and she does. Still Katie's going
through it right now. I don't know if she's been going through it forever.
Yeah, so Katie's been going through I'm excited for her to get some
new deck. She we watched was it the first episode of the new season
we watched or was that episode two the other night that was I'm Sorry for
four ye Um. She went up and she um gave her number to a
guy with tattoos and a mustache, and it was one of the saddest things
I've seen on reality television in a while. It was not attractive. It
was heartbreaking. No, it wasn't that he wasn't attractive. It is just
that the way she went about it, like Rachel's like hooking up with ol
of her and La. LA's like a scorned mother now all of a sudden,
and Katie's just like, I can give you my number if you want,
and he's like, all right, yeah, that's fine. It's just
like but by the way, yeah, this episode we might have some success.
We might have to put another SD card here because I gotta I want
to break down. Shea shay, Yeah, there's a lot of these individuals.
I want to say one thing started to digress for a second. One
of the things that I think is appealing for this show because these people are
rolling into their late thirties at this point. Sure now where I come from,
which is a filthy, yucky town in Massachusetts, Lemonster thirty seven,
it was possible you could be a grandparent, oh yeah, or dead.
I don't know if it's the weather there, but your pubs already turned gray.
You lost your hair. This show, I think is for many people
an outlet for feeling like you never you're eternally Peter pat Yeah. Yeah.
And because these people are older and they're acting like they're in high school.
Right. But why reality television and shows like this are particularly damaging is that
this is nothing that should be looked on with any reverence whatsoever. What we're
looking at are people who are trying to fight off responsibility and the unflinching ruthlessness
of time. Well some of them, and they're there, their lives are
being ruined as a result of and by the way, making amazingly bad life
decisions. Okay, Sinache, just briefly and then we'll get back into the
slide sheet. Yea, her first husband, she was a full on raging
drug addict. Yeah, like pills r Michael sche Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know where he is now. He's probably dead, he's on
bumble oh he is, yeah, or maybe he's off it now. But
he produced that chart topping hit It's as Good as Gold, which she sang
at her wedding. Yes, she did her first wedding, first wedding.
Now when you say chart topping, you don't mean that. I think it
might have charted. I don't know. It's horrible though, Okay, okay,
So then she marries this new guy. Ye did she marry him in
Yeah, okay, this guy has a kid in Australia that he doesn't see
or acknowledged because the mother is a bitch DVD dead beat dead but also even
more so, and she might be a bitch. But I believe that the
reason that they are not together is is because there are domestic violence issues.
Because yeah, and when he explained it to Andy the reunion, he was
like, no, like there's like a phone call and like I hit a
I don't think he actually had a hit her, but everyone was like,
that's that's not okay, bront And but let's create with pro create with him.
Sheina thought that was a good idea. I'm sure that's all gonna work
out. Sorry, No, you're one hundred. Thank you for that edition.
And you're right. Also, Shena is just a caricature of I don't
even know what like a bratstall that eternally twenty one. It's just shocking.
Yeah, we were that episode four, that famous episode four. I keep
going back to. She's in a rock climbing gym with sixteen inch acrylics on
that are different colors, and she she's a I'm gonna make a disgusting confession.
How do you even rock climb with those? I'm at the airport.
I'm flying out to Vegas for business, Dylan. I think I was meeting
you out there. I'm with the wife. We're in line security check.
I'm obsessing on this girl. It's in front of us. Okay, greatest,
hottest little body, all done up whatever, and I'm like, men
do this. I'm sorry, we'll be we sound like pigs. But you
guys have your own little emotional stuff that goes on in your mind. Ye.
What that does is he often refers to things within the feminine sphere is
little um it's a microaggression. He's working on it, um, but I
don't want you to be triggered by it. And you know that it's about
him. It's not about you, yea. I need to work pat.
And that drink is not a weak drink. It's dry, which means there's
no water in it. So it's just four shots of espresso and you just
suck that thing. I'm feeling very alive right now. Yeah, yeah,
maybe we do need a new SD card because this could be three and a
half hours. I'm on the plane and I'm still obsessing on this girl's ass
that I was just staring at for five minutes. The wife goes, hey,
I didn't want to. I wasn't sure if you knew this, but
that you know, vander pumpro was. I'm like, yeah, that was
she na shat in front of us. I've been obsessing her ass. There's
she all right, I don't she can't have it? Well no, so
one of the so so she actually Brock possibly abuser. Brock allegedly is a
Yeah, is a jim. He's a gym man. He works out.
She's and she's very actually I will say she I believe like after maybe she
got divorced from Shay one on like a kick of fitness and not eating sugar.
And they went on a trip and she's got a great right right hook
because she took out Raquel's fucking face. Name is not Quel, I mean
Rachel. We are dead naming her proudly. Yeah, and we are dead
naming her proudly. Next slide. Okay, thank you, Okay. Season
three is wild. Um Kristen starts dating James. Things take a turn in
season three. Yeah, ellipses, sorry, thank you. He is deliciously
arrogant. And I mean that it is. It is delicious, how unbelievably
arrogant he is. When he comes on, um Arian and Tom officially start
dating. Everybody thinks that they were hooking up while Tom was with Kristen.
They deny that at summer reunion. I can't remember, they say that is
not true. Katie cries a lot, Shorts cheats on her a lot.
She says, proposed to me or we're done? No more? Rings on
strings? Was he gave her after um they had been talking about marriage.
He gave her a ring? Okay, on a on it was a necklace,
it was a ring, but what so? Yeah, hey, so
um, just two guys out there like you didn't know that. You shouldn't
do that. Uh no, not to do that. Now? Can we
talk about James Kennedy really quickly got that really condescending English accent. Yeah,
yeah, very Uh. I don't know, is it is it essex?
I think it's more posh than that is. Is essex not posh? I
don't really know. I noticed you're just sipping on that. My heart is
pounding really fast. Frond. Should I be scared? You shouldn't be scared.
But you did ingest a lot of caffeine at once. You said it's
not it's essentially it's the Long Island iced tea of caffeine. Jesus got four
different alcohols in it. Yeah one of those get you wasted, men or
all four together? Right? Yeah, okay, sorry, But the good
news is is you took an edible and that will balance everything. Don't forget
the I killed the bottle of champagne before we start. It's so it's a
Friday, it's it's a happy day. We're hanging and we're talking about this
scandibal. Now. James Kennedy is deliciously arrogant. Is quite a bit of
a euphemism, I would say, um, he is a rat face,
annoying piece of shit, I mean, of course. And is there any
single human being that likes James Kennedy? Me and Pat talk often that one
of the keys to a good reality television show is someone you hate. I
feel like James Kennedy is a black hole of hatred on this show. You
couldn't be more correct. He He calls women fat and asks if they're pregnant,
specifically Katie, and oh no, but yeah, not cool never ever,
ever, can't do that if it's Katie, I'm not gonna okay next
wait, whoa Dylan? What? Okay? Sorry, no, sorry,
I'm sorry, you're right, okay, all right. I don't know how
many seasons stupid shit happens between this. They eventually break up. Um,
it's a pretty epic breakup scene comes to her part James, yeah, um,
Kristen and James, sorry, thank you. Patrick. He spits on
her door. M G. Yeah, it's disgusting. She's wearing a lightning
bolt necklace, which will become relevant, Um, very relevant, very fun
and oh wow, this is a It's not who knows. It's probably just
that she had the necklace. It was a lightning bolt eight years ago,
but now it's very relevant. It's an icon. Okay um Also at Shinachet's
wedding for a wedding where she wears the crop top. Also she makes everybody
m the just a fun note about Sheinachet's wedding. She the wedding singer for
her like entrance song starts too early, so she sings like I believe,
like three fourths of the song or the entire song. Who was a friend
of hers by the way, And Sina screaming at everybody, is like,
I'm not I'm not walking down. She started no sing it ag and then
I believe she starts it again, and then Gina walks out, my oh
my god. Okay, okay, so I love this. I have two
questions. Sure you know how I'm addicted to spoilis I can't ever really get
glacially to the end of something. I need to know what happens. So
I'm very, very piqued by this lightning bolt necklace. I do not understand
the significance of it, and I kind of want to just get there.
Don't say word. Okay, okay. Number two, this is are these
the duldrums of vander Pump rules, Like how many good seasons of this show
have there? Actually the first three fire and then probably like one to six,
like when Shena was getting married, when Kristen and James were punching each
other at weddings, like those were good. When Lala gets introduced and everybody
is like insecure because she goes swimming with her top off like all the girls,
which she jumps in Like what there's an episode of Naked and Afraid where
um, a guy jumps into a pool and he's like a cowboy and he's
been biped by all these different animals. Do you remember I think we were
watching that. Anyways, he jumps in this cesspool and he gets some type
of a mubic dysentery. That's kind of what the body of water looked like
that La La jumped into a little bit when she took her flat button boobs
out. Yes, yes, you're correct, and everybody, like Katie and
everyone I know this show. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on Laala can
even if we go along just a personal conversation not on Mike, because I
I think you are who you sleep with Randall is a scumbag, and I
know now she says things like I would wake up in the middle of the
night and I'd be like, I don't know who this person is next to
me, and I just know that he's bad or whatever. It's like,
now you knew, and uh, let's talk about La La really quickly.
Toxic toxic female. I think, shoxic female. We may have a lot
of little batties may turning their batties bad. La Lala has become a patron
saint of the scandal all because of Send It to Daryl and all of the
flaming. So we're very grateful for La La. But again I mentioned it.
This scorned mother thing is absolutely laughable. The fact that she can even
be on television pretending like she is a committed wife and mother of ocean is
just beyond me. What are your thoughts on Lawa can't please Ruse? I
had no. I agree. I think that although we do things in our
twenties that we grow up to regret. I think I don't. I don't
think any one that I know was saying things like I don't know, I
don't you just you shouldn't be sucking the dick of married men to get a
range rover. And if you are, then you shouldn't be surprised when that
guy by someone else you in seven years and just I have no the and
then go on TV and cry because you consider yourself really smart, but you
don't know how you got here. Yeah right, well I do, like
everybody does. We watched you get here, We watched right behind you,
and we said don't go here, La, La Yeah, said yeah,
I know. I James Kennedy referred to him as the fat man. We
were all the angel on LA's shoulder. Okay, yes we were, well,
said Ruby, moving on, thank you. Anyways, um Arion and
Tom are pretty chill, like nothing really happens with them. They move in
together into their into their two million dollar farmhouse, which she remortgages so that
he can play with his bars. Andy Cohen recently asked Lisa vander Pump if
she knew because a while ago, I guess. Lisa was like, make
sure that when you do that that you're protected so that if anything happens with
the bars and stuff, that you won't lose your shit. And she was
like, I hope she did that. And Andy was like, do you
think she did, and we there's no wait wait wait, I don't understand.
He's taking money out on the house. She owns half the house.
If the bar goes down or something goes down, that's her money too.
They can go down, are honest? Yeah? Did I recap that right?
Yeah? So when you say unless I don't understand Holmes, no,
no, no, this is my bad because there's a bullet point where it
says she remortgages their home so he can play in his bars. And honestly,
and this is on me, I thought of I was confused about bars.
I thought, is are they exercise bars? Are they monkey bars?
And then you guys started talking about finances and equity, and I was really
thrown and lost. But now I understand that that thought pattern was really silly
because we know that kind of all is in bars, Tom and Sandy's or
Sandy and Schwartz is whatever. Next bulletin point, Yeah, sure, go
ahead. Schwartz and Katie get married. He loses their marriage license at least
once, I do believe twice and like nothing whatever. He just keeps cheating
on her. She cries a lot. They like talk about having kids,
but they're like and it becomes this weird ongoing joke. And I don't know,
you two are married to speak about on TV even not your wife,
just your partner about like the amount of times that you have sex when it's
like a very like we have sux like once a month. That's which is
why that is so disrespectful to do to your fucking life? Is that not
weird? But they're on TV, right, that's the only interesting part of
their lives. No, you're right, so, but I always thought it
was really sad watching them too, because you could see how miserable they were,
and it was very clear. I call them TV marriages or TV babies.
They clearly are doing this and they're staying together because they're stronger together,
or at least they thought that for a while to keep those contracts with Bravo
coming in, you know what I mean totally So yeah, I mean I
don't, I don't know. I think, Yeah, saying once a month
is a little intrusive. It's once a week and you're complaining about it,
then you should shut up. But anyways, next slide, Yeah, sure,
why not? Okay, here we go. We have gotten through a
lovely thirty minutes and we have not even mentioned the bambiid bitch known as Rachel,
but here she is here. She is, um, all right,
who the fuck is Rachel? Not Raquel? I don't even know how to
pronounce her last name, Levis Levis sorry, former pageant girl. You know
what it is? You know what the white noise is. It's rain?
Is it the rain? Yeah? Oh that's nice. Oh that's so cute.
Okay, I thought it was the heater. No, it's the rain.
Okay, keep going. Sorry. Sure, um. She when we
first met her, she was very shy. She was super soft spoken,
like just dumb for lack of a better word, I put vapid there.
But yeah, yeah, she got like very a lot of votes for like
helping him when he was just being super drunk and abuse Kennedy. Yeah,
yeah, sorry. James was quite wild at this point when they were dating,
drinking a ton was sending her very very awful abusive text messages, cheating
on her a lot, but she was just kind of like, no,
he's not. And there's a very epic moment between La La and Raquel when
Lalla screaming at her and she goes, Raquel, you cannot be that dumb
and she goes, I'm not dumb, law law Yeah, and she says
it all dumb. Yeah, it may I interject, I think she may
be. People can be dumb, but they can also be very savvy if
they have my for sure, a goal in mind. Now, Dylan,
I don't know if you knew this, but Rachel, not Raquel, came
on as a fan. She reached out to DJ James Kennedy and that's how
she got on the show as a groupie that was hot and he started dating
and then, forgive me, I believe the move if she'll see if she's
scan of all, was a social climbing move. Well, well, we'll
get there. But I do want to UM kind of shine a light on
something that Rubs and I have talked about a lot with Cease, which is
the eyebrow treatment that Rachel seems to be addicted to. Um, can you
speak on this trend within um? Of course, lacle fashion. We saw
this first ironically with our other Rachel from the Bachelorette, when Rachel and Gabby
were together and asked ourselves, why do you spend so much time brushing up
the middle part of your eyebrows? And then probably drawing more on with pencils.
Yeah, and I know that, you know, I'm not a trendy
person. I don't know trends. I don't know of them. Yeah,
I know that this is like a thing people are doing now, right,
right, right, But why yeah, please? You know, well,
all of it is to attract others, right, attracts. It is an
evolutionary component. I am actually attracted to it. I was not attracted to
the trend where women twelve years ago we're shaving their eyebrows off and drawing them
on with a sharpie. I famously told the story where I had one night
stand, woke up the next morning, I was sweating my elbow, rubbed
this girl's forehead. I rubbed her eyebrow right off her face. And I
don't know if that was so much a trend, as it was just a
kind of way to have eyebrows. If you didn't, it seems to be
more of a trend. And I'm confused why you find it attractive, because
it's this strange kind of brushstroke plateau that you get in the middle of your
eyebrows that don't really make any citizen brings attention to the eyes. I find
it attractive. I don't know. Well, we have to move on.
She is a bambid bitch and we have to get to the next lot.
But so so they when they like we. So when James was dating her,
he was a quote unquote sober. I don't, I don't. He
was smoking weed and ship but he was not California Yeah, blacking out and
sending her abuse of text messages anymore. California sober is five drinks a week,
as much weed as you want to smoke, and some pills zan X
when you need to get on a flight, and ambient when you really need
to get to bed. Yeah, and then you drink when it's fun.
Yeah, Yes, five drinks a week. They can be one night or
they can be ones, you know, every night. But you know you
can't come test that, spend your five how you want. Yeah, exactly,
It's like it works if you work. It's like points exactly. Yeah,
it Patrick's such a good point. It works if you work. I
love that. Do I need to get to the next st No, Dylan,
you don't. She does things. I want you to understand her fully.
So she throws like puppy parties for her dog, and then she says
she. There was a moment I believe when it was their engagement party maybe
where she had like a full crying mental breakdown to James because she was like,
I can't give a speech in public, like I can't, and you
know, I'm very bad social anxiety, very very bad cor Yeah. Well,
it's shocking to know that I'm fairly decent at public speaking, given what
happened at your bat mitzvah. Very is my first um brush with public humiliation.
I think, wow, was that like ten years ago? You still
hold on on that? That was really nice of you, because that would
make me twenty three. But no, pack a lot longer than longer.
So I have held onto it or even longer, but I've ever come in
and I've kind of used it as a soap stone to sharpen my other stone
stone. Yep, okay, next time, I agree. Oh wait,
no, I'm sorry really quickly. So that picture of her on the reunion,
yes, and as someone like I don't like attention, like it don't
don't look at me, it screams right right, definitely right. Yeah,
you know what she looks like. She looks like like an early stage RPG
boss in like a really Japanese game that like we don't get you know,
but she's not like that formidable, Like she's just there to teach you the
next kind of section of buttons and cold, right. You know, she's
not anything that overpowered or anything, but she does look like quite a bit
of an attention horror. Okay, let's move on. Last Friday, everything
changed, Okay, just truly forever. So we get all these announcements.
Tom and Ariana call equits. They were together for almost ten years. Um,
rumors start to swirl. He's been cheating with co star gross Gross Rachel
unpronounceable last name. Yeah, I mean the rain is really coming down.
It's lovely. I mean the rain is really coming down. It is an
atmospheric river. How long have we been going? Thirty five minutes? Okay,
that's perfect. How much left on the car do you think? Eight
minutes? Perfect? I'll put a new one in if we need it.
Okay, Okay, exciting, Okay, So last Friday everything changed forever.
Okay, so it's only been a week. Wow, now this is the
first I'm hearing this. They had announced they were breaking out prior to the
news breaking that he's a cheating son of a bitch. Absolutely nafta, Oh
no, no, no, no, okay, okay, So this is
what we know now. Rachel and Tom have been sleeping together for over seven
months. Wow. The lightning bolt necklaces? Are you ready? Oh wow?
They have been wearing these matching lightning bolt necklaces because they can't say I
love you to each other, so they've just been wearing them allegedly to symbolize
the love for each other. This is they can't share with others. This
is the canary in the coal mines singing after he's killed a bunch of people.
He wants to get caught. And I don't know that expression, which
is why I struggled with it so much. But this is just a brazen,
stupid thing to do. I would leave my phone out when I was
a cheating, cheating son of a bitch, when Ashley, I'd leave it
out. I was actively hooking up with other people. You're in the call
mine, You're a little canary. You're gone. I killed people, I'm
cheating. I wanted to be caught. Yeah, exactly. So ironically you
mentioned that, because how he or how are you on? Have found out?
So we have heard was that, um his phone I guess like fell
out of his pocket or something at one of his cover band shows because on
the extras, which Raquel, by the way, has gone to like every
one of those shows and dead name moving forward. Sorry, oh my god?
Fuck? Can you edit out no Buck Dylan leave it in as a
reminder, right, you cannot make that? Right? You're right, Yeah,
you're right. I'm so sorry to everybody except for her. Um,
Rachel and him have been he was her for Halloween. Just gross, oh
my, yucky stuff. I do think it's worth mentioning that Rachel was pretty
cozy with Arianna, so it's like having your worst enemy. That is gonna
understatement of the century, ribs, please correct, like a very very very
good friends after they broke she broke up with James and called off their engagement.
Like Tom and Ariana were sort of like big sister figures to her.
Same with Shinachet, a Zusa loving loving Shinachet, who is Ariana's best friend
from even before the show. Did you say as Zusa loving? Of course
I did. Is he's a Pacific University, let's go oh she went to
Azusa Pacific Hunt. Yeah, by the Miller Distillery over there, and yeah,
is that a Passadena Arcadia? It's like past Arcadia. It's like when
you're coming back from Vegas you see that and you're like, oh, we're
almost home, and then it's like, now you're another out of traffic for
another hour. A cruel bitch. That brewery is okay, Azusa proud.
Oh yeah. So anyways, but so they were very very close, so
she and this season watching her together is just rough. They allegedly were doing
this stuff while Ariana was out of town and she had left La to go
back to Florida to spend time with her family after her grandma passed away recently.
Supposedly that's when that was going on the current season right now, as
you saw, Rachel's been like openly telling Katie and Katie's mother that she thinks
that Schwartz is cute and asking him if he wants to make out right right
right? Yeah, And it's just weird, and everybody was like, this
is very not cool, and you you should know that that's not okay and
no one should have to explain that to you. But for some reason,
people were like, Rachel, don't do that, Like what I don't know,
so she has. Everyone is kind of confused about that. But apparently
this has just been a ruse the entire time because and there's no way that
Schwartz didn't know. I'm sorry, now I agree with that. Now,
hey, don't apologize for that. Okay, now I forgive me. So
they when it says they wanted to tell Arianna several times, we're referring to
Rachel and Scanda all who released that statement of that admission. How do we
know that information that they thought that they wanted to do that. I think
that this is from several sources online that like their friends have spoken cheer reporters.
No one has named this, and nobody, neither of them have come
forward and said like we want to walk hand in hand together. Radio Andy
was talking or Andy Cohen's radio show. He was discussing that like there's no
way that they can come out of this and not be like a couple of
sorts, and that like people are really speculating that they apparently are very in
love and whatever. So I think, yeah, let me tell you something.
Any relationship that comes out of cheater cheaters never works out because it's it
starts off on a bad foundation in this podcaster's opinion. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I've had examples of that in my life. And here's what you
are. Here's what I'm puzzled by. Why keep the relationship going with Arianna?
Again? This coming from a performer, cheating, lying bastard. Sure,
I did not want to be with my girlfriend anymore, and this in
a very immaturely and manipulative way. This is how I ended the relationship when
I should have just been honest and said, look, this isn't working out.
Let's go a ways. Tom's on TV. They're public figures, people
see them. He obviously is either a cheat or cheater just having fun having
sex or well, think about this, Tom can't have sex with a fan
behind Arianna's back. Okay, this is why married people find each other and
cheat on each other, because they're mutual assured destructions. Right, right,
So no one's come out of the woodwork yet as far as fans saying,
well, I slept with him at the Tampa, Florida Shell Right, So
it's obvious that this might have been his only little cheating outlet wanted some strange
was that girl in Miami? We'll talk about her? Oh really? Yeah,
Okay, okay, next line. Um. Yeah, So they've issued
some also though, Patrick, just to touch on that, one of the
reasons that has been cited that he apparently did not and their relationship was because
he just she was so depressed because of all the things that were happening that
he was just like, this is going to make her more depressed. So
I don't want to make her even more depressed scan of all, yeah,
banging her friend. Ye. Anyways, so they issued some apology. Rachel's
is on the left stand. Abo had to issue two now. The first
one was to protect his restaurant Yelp reviews. Yeah, yeah, Now,
this this is an iconic formatting. This is a formatting of text and sentiment
that we will look back on and either meme or laugh at. But the
amount of these posts, what with the culture of canceling and public accountability that
we're in right now, I love that these apologies come out as often as
they do, and they are always if they are black and or white with
a handle and a view profile above them, of course meaningless unproductive and not
fixing the situation in any way, shape or form. I was going to
say this, when you say fixed, Dylan and I thought quite a bit,
probably more than I Probably America right now is spent a little too much
time on this cheated on his girlfriend. Yeah, a lot of cheating happens.
Yeah, Tom doesn't know anybody in apology, but Arianna, right,
the rest of us can go fuck ourselves, right right, great point,
great point. But people are outraged. People are outraged, People are outraged,
and ribs. Why are people so outraged? Was Arianna a fan favorite?
Well? Because one Ariana had like very cool girl energy. She's by
far the most normal. I will say, she does have sort of that
like you can hear her saying I don't have a lot of girlfriends. I
have a lot of guy friends, which just we don't like those people.
But my wife doesn't red flag you should you should have girlfriends. Yeah that's
whatever. But yes, she was a fan favorite, especially compared to SEC
doesn't have a lot of girlfriends. Ceci is one of my favorite people,
so I don't give a shit what she has. So um she passed,
yeah, um, oh well it's not it's not that. But I think
that the reason that people are outraged is because we are we are all Ariana.
We feel as though we've been watching this with you for a decade and
if you the sense of betrayal that I feel. Yeah, yeah, knowing
them not at all? Right? Right? Right is too large? Yeah.
I have been sleep deprived for a week because we talked about it.
You're nuts. Yeah, you drive by people's homes that you don't know all
the time, Patrick, Yes, yeah, No that I only really did
once, just to be like, oh, yeah, here we went to
the Reet's house, didn't we Yes, we did, Yes, we did.
And again you I don't sew tacky horrible and think God, nobody would
hurt. But there was only a matter of time before home. It's like
that home is like come in, take take Peka's watches. Take Peka's watches.
Take were they disappointed when Peak took all the watches to London to sell
them? Yeah? All those watches? Oh is that what he did?
I think? So, yeah, Pique is a he's an interesting character.
Yeah, but we're not here to talk about Rahab, We're here to talk
about Vandy. So um, the text that was seen was a masturbatory video.
Correct, Rachel was rubbing her vagina or something like that. Explicit material.
Explicit material. So Ariana was like, oh, Wow, this is
big, not her vagina, just that this is a thing that's going on.
So the apologies have been issued, and then hey, some advice for
scan of all. Hey, dude, if you're going to be this brazen
with your cheating, perhaps he was trying to get caught. Get a second
phone. Man, it's dude, I am hiding under the wheelwell of your
car. They make magnets where you can actually hide a little box underneath the
wheelwell of your car. Put your backup phone in there. If you're going
to cheat, God, if you're going to cheat, you have to recognize
that it is one of the worst decisions you can make in your entire life.
It is for momentary dopamine hits. It's to pop. It's you just
need to pop, and everybody needs to pop. I get it. Do
it in the shower. But if you're going to go about it, you
really have to be careful because it will destroy your entire life. We've talked
about it before. The dad with all the money who now lives in a
nice apartment in Santa Monica and it's six thousand dollars a month, but he's
taking his kids up in an elevator that's not the life that he had and
he wasn't popping. But at least they were in bel air. At least
they were doing Hanukka as a family, right, you know what I mean?
Do we know a guy who has moved to Nevada? Now, no
infidelity there, just different stuff. Um next line, no poor guy either
way. Also, just to go back, although I look at the eyebrows,
you know, well, well, well okay, she wants you to
focus on the black eye done, but they were going out. It's just
cheating, is first of all, the magnetic phone thing. That's just really
scary. Cheating is too hard for too many people, and too many people
are too dumb to cheat. If you're going to cheat, you have to
be locked down. Yeah, you know, it's just it's fucking It's ridiculous
how sloppy these people are. I mean that the lightning bolt necklace thing is
so nuts to me, right nuts to me. That's like, I can't
get into these people's heads. But there's something way worse going on, and
we need to talk about as we close this out. We need to talk
about I don't want to be perceived as like misogynistic putting the onus on Rachel.
I'm not putting the onus on Rachel, but but Tom's reasoning for doing
this is very easy to understand for me and Pat. He's a guy.
He wanted to pop. Sure, Rachel, I feel like again she just
wants to pop too, But now she wants she wants fame. There's something
a little bit more going on. Okay, question if you are if you're
cheating on someone, can you what does it say when you can then beat
for both parties? And again I had nobody is more guilty or whatever.
They're both sucked up. Yeah, can you spend intimate time with this person
like they're your best friend? You compartmentalize it and you also yeah, and
also you can and I did this. You can also in your head,
uh, legitimize it based on you blame the partner. So I my ex
I hated her mother, the girlfriend, the dad. My girlfriend was very
judgy, very controlling, could be belittling, and just those three things.
Yeah, those are all relationships. I would be like, you know what,
I don't need to feel bad about this. So we all we all
legitimize horrible behavior in our minds that I can get genuinely a bad, bad
don't, but whatever, I understand that doing it in Rachel's position is fucking
sociopathic. These people have been nothing but kind to you. This girl has
been nothing but a wonderful, welcoming person into this group when other people were
pretty not welcoming to you. Right right right, And this is and I
just and her stupid statement talked about how she needs to take time for her
mental health and talk about her addiction to feeling loved. Yeah that woa.
Yeah, here's a question. Who fucking gives a fuck? Yeah, go
see a therapist. I guess what adds to it is that. I mean,
you take one look at Tom Sandoval and you go, well, gay
man. But if not gay man, obvious scumbag. I mean, look
at him. He's wearing pearls, and he's still wearing vans, and he's
forty but he's forty. Right. I have to ask you, what is
the appeal of Tom Sandoval to you? None? Okay? Great? Ever?
None? Yeah? Like I kid you not. I would prefer to
be married to Tom Schwartz than to ever touch Tom Sandoval. Okay, she's
got her head screwed on, right, So other fun updates? Oh well,
but but just getting back to Rachel. The Bambie is a perfect word
for her. It's just very, very creepy that she could be so meek
and needing help and be this destructive. We saw it an episode four,
infamous Episode four that I keep coming back to. The wanton disregard for Lala's
claim over Garcel's oldest Oliver, was an insight into I think Rachel despises other
women. I think that there's obviously that is born of the horrors of the
pageant industry. We talked about this many many times, but I do think
that she hates other women and has no remorse for them and is why she
did this. Anyways, other fun updates, Yeah, so I don't disagree
with any of that. So other fun updates. What's been going on?
She Anda Schet received so when Arianna saw the message, she allegedly texted it
to Rachel and said, you're dead to me the video and then she Nachet
was with Rachel watched what happens right after that had filmed sadly after God if
it had been before, Oh wow, right insane? Um, So she
hunt her in face and I guess so Rachel issued her training order. She
went to the gym Arianna McDonald's. Everybody was going to her house and she
was just receiving outpours. Obviously, Rachel sent apparently legal letters to everybody saying
that like all the California porn laws, I guess to Tom, especially saying
that it's like a two consenting state because allegedly he was recording their FaceTime and
she didn't have consent. And then a bunch of people from high school allegedly
came out. These guys were like, no, she she used to send
his videos of herself masturbating all the time. So okay, oh wow,
it got okay. Yeah. So Rachel has been increasingly concerning on the seasons
of Interpump Rules, warns other women in the scenes from next week about how
they should watch their men and not bring her around them, and then her
despicable behavior with Oliver m Tom and Arianna hilariously still have to live together in
that house apparently while this allies and their union is in about two weeks.
I just rated probably piece of television for Bravo in a long time. In
two weeks, yeah, probably so. By the way, the cast,
several cast members said, I ain't showing up yeah, I feel like that's
not going to work. It's a dumb move. Yeah, I who said
they weren't going to show? I think Sandoval said that, Yeah he did.
He said he's not going to film and again I think he will fu
you what a oh my god, what a bit because they already filmed,
like they resumed filming already, like immediately last week. So I guess supposedly
you can't have been picked back up. Yeah, like they ended the season,
they wrapped, this happened, they kept filming, or they resumed filming
again, and then they filmed a scene with Sandoval and Arianna at their house.
Whoa, and that's happened. So like I don't know if it's after
that that he's well, see he can control that scene though right to he
can't control Andy asking him a tough questions. Okay, okay, so um,
you're right. I don't know. Okay, So the reunion doesn't need
to film in two weeks. We can give it some time if we're not
going to get the whole cast and crew together, because Sandoval needs to be
there, Sheina needs to be there, Rachel needs to be there, and
Ariana needs to be there, Dresden doesn't need You mentioned that she allegedly took
a shot at Rachel's face. You said that I saw, Okay, So
that's what I'm concerned about. Is the restraining order going to be an issue
with Sheena and Rachel being on the DAIS together? So Andy, Yeah,
Andy said that either he would do a sit down with both of them um
separately, or that they would zoom in. But also I think that everybody,
Yeah, it'd be great to hear from Shena, But respectfully, the
only thing she really has to add is, yeah, Okay, I punched
her in the facebo I didn't. Nobody cares. Rachel needs to be Can
I do a semi book end on this. I'm not sure how much you
wanted to wrap this up, Rubies, but everyone was that a plural Yeah
called her the rubies. Everyone on this cast benefits from this inccluding yeah,
sand of all scandival because very much like oh yeah, Erica Jane baby,
we are two and a half years beyond her being the worst human being on
planet Earth to now being kind of welcomed back. And dare I say what
her and that husband and her might have been up to was far worse than
someone cheating. You know, they ripped off people that got burned alive in
an aeroplane crash, you know what I mean. And I think that also
gives credence to why this has so widely been obsessed over, because like Erica
Jane jen Shaw, they were those were like horrible things and talking about it
in any type of funny ways pretty fucked up because people like people died,
people see like they got ripped off. Yeah, horrible ship that Kristen used
to be really hot. I found her attractive, but uh people said she
had bad breath. Okay, so thank you for your time. M Rubes.
We have a couple things here, if you could just run through them.
We have. Let's begin with Jack's never in a million years, I
just like, I mean, never in a million years did he think that
this was going to happen, because he was brutalized for cheating on that,
like everybody has said. I read on Facebook yesterday. I think that someone
said, everyone that's like obsessing over this, Oh, a cheater cheated on
someone that he cheated with, you need to go touch grass. And I
felt like that person was Jack's burner account or what No just like, don't
belittle it like that. Yeah, yeah, don't do that. Yeah that's
wrong. That's This is a seminal moment across the line. So we have
we have LVP saying stupid, stupid boy. Who is she saying that too?
Just I don't even know. Now we have Rachel asking James if he
is faithful, and then her what I wanted to highlight here was a pretty
nasty moment from Arianna, who's but most of the time a pretty sweet person.
Yeah, she says, I'm smarter than you, I'm pretty goer than
you. Get the fuck over it. Who did she say that too?
I honestly don't even know. I want to say Stasi or Kristen. She
used to be like pretty bullied by them because she was like the bartender at
the bar. Patrick made a good point. So when this like always like
a baby, Lisa vander Pump had three staple places. Philiblanca is where you
take your wife, Sir is where you take your mistress, and Pump is
where you take your boyfriend. Her staff was kind of like spread out around
different places, and Ariana and Tom were the like the back bartenders at one
of the places, and they started working together. I don't know if it
was the same restaurant or a different one, but yeah, everybody speculated that
he was hooking up with Arianna while he was dating Kristen. Kristen also got
fired. She was one of the only chasm Is to ever be like legitimately
fire from sir as a waitress. Um, there's an iconic moment where her
manager, Diana is asking her to leave the property and she's smoking and she
says fuck off Diana or like shut the fuck up. Oh yeah, yeah,
and it's just like it's great. And then that's Stasie hitting her in
the face after she says that she cheated on her with her on Jack's Oh
got it, got it, got it. It's like a real hit there.
Yeah, yeah, that was big. That was really really big.
Well. Um yeah, Sandoval also punched Jack's in the face and was like,
yeah, I just they didn't have on the beach. I think they
went out for a walk on the beach and then uh, and then I
think Jack's punched him in the face too. So the brawl, do we
or do we feel satiated? Do we feel like we have a good grasp
on this? Yeah? How do how do I do. I think you
guys did very well well. We think you did great and we can't thank
you enough for coming in and illuminating the scand of all showing us the INDs,
the outs and the in betweens. Um. I think that our fans
are very very appreciative because we could not have done this without you. We
watched too much television to be concerned with this, so um, we were
not abreast of all of the little intricacies. Intricacies, yes, exactly,
So Rubs, where can people find you? Um? Wait, what's the
name of your podcast? Yeah? Um? Ruby, do you want to
plug TikTok? No? Okay, I want to say this you as an
audience, a little baddies. This was a little little gift for you guys.
Oh, this is territory we normally don't approach or cover. So let
us know what you thought about Ruby being on the show. Be nice and
and we'll have her back and we'll have her back on This was lightlifting for
Dylan and yeah, absolutely a lot of fun. We don't do any work.
We just kind of pick our spots. Anyways, Thanks Ruby for joining
us, Love you very much. Comment comment comment, We'll see you guys.
Later, I'm Dylan saying goodbye. Pat say goodbye, Rubies say goodbye.
There's a lot of stuff. It's good. Jim cracked a lot of
it. Bad TV.