WEBVTT

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Dad's on date. We would like
to draw your attention to the fact that

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the following content is made up of
humorous adult material and is intended for immature

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not easily triggered audience. You have
been warned any moment now you know what,

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say what you want about deaf people. You're it's fucked up. Jesus

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Christ, he can't save us.
No, no, no, he can't.

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He can't. I mean, besides
that, and everybody going to hell.

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For like, within not even a
twenty four hour period, my phone

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was blowing up and I didn't even
know what these memes were about yet.

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Yeah, and then all of a
sudden you find out that about this submarine

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thing right for the Titanic, and
it was like and they just kept getting

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better and better, oh absolutely and
better. Yeah, and they escalated so

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fast. So it's it didn't surprise
me how quick the memes came out.

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It surprised me how fast they escalated
ou, Yeah, to like the point

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of no return, yeah, with
your soul just being gone. Yeah,

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and some of them that were so
subtle, Like there was one that I

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really liked that was it said,
uh, Titanic's death. Titanic Deaths by

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year, Yeah, which was nineteen
twelve with this large spike and then flatline

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and then twenty twenty three a little
blip just like it's subtle. And then

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another one was like google how many
people died in the Titanic, and then

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it had a number and then crossed
out and then added five to it.

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Like the other one that was it
was the picture. It was the picture

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of all of the people on the
Titanic. Uh huh. And then it

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said people from the submarine submarine waking
up tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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I don't even care. Like it's
like people are like, oh,

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it's so sad. I'm like no, not really, no, Like they

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knew it was it wasn't safe.
They should have known. They were told

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by multiple people, professional people that
it wasn't safe to do that. There's

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there's a video out there of like
a test run a week or two before

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and it says it says stuff about
how there's leaks on the ship and it

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says how it's not safe and there's
creaking. And there was reports that the

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guy had jimmy rigged some stuff together
from like Bass Pro Shop yep, parts

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like Harbor Freight, Yeah, Harbor
Frate type shit. It was run by

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a fucking PlayStation four controller, not
even PlayStation five knockoff. Was it even

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a PlayStation four? No, it
was look or like a PlayStation two.

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It was a knockoff controller. Get
fucked. Like we here here on Dad's

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on day quote, we even have
upgraded equipment. That's true, that's true.

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I mean it took us three years
to figure out one piece, but

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yeah, we got it. Well
that's just laziness on all accounts. Yeah,

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no, because I put an effort. I was just stupid. I

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will say though, like I would
feel I feel a little bit more bad

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if they did end up finding it
and they all fucking suffocated in there.

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Yeah, Like that would suck.
Like imagine that. Imagine being stuck in

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there and you're like running out of
air, right, and you just you

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gotta like look at people as you
fucking suffocate. Yeah, right, or

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like like so it imploded, right, like let's say instantaneous. But let's

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say there was one little fucking portion
that was pocketed and you just happened to

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get stuck in that pocket. So
now you're sitting in that pocket thousands of

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feet deep. Yeah, with maybe
five minutes, ten minutes worth of air.

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Yeah, and you are looking at
everyone else that was on that ship,

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just squished like a fucking pancake,
oozing down the walls like paint.

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Yeah, that'd be kind of cool, I guess. I mean that'd be

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cool for a second. Yeah,
yeah, until you realized fuck yeah,

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and then you know you'd fall asleep. I mean because suffocation. You don't

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you don't really feel suffocation from what
they say anyway, no one really knows.

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I guess, right, I don't
know, I guess. I mean,

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do you remember you remember when you
were a kid, like like teenager,

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did you ever play the game where
like you'd stand up against the wall

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and your buddy would like hold your
like push up against your neck to like

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cut off your blood supply so you
pass out. I didn't play that with

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my buddy, but I tried that
with a couple of girlfriends. Yeah.

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Okay, it's kind of like that, right, It's just all of a

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sudden, you just like but I
mean, like you could die from that.

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Oh absolutely, you know we used
to. There was a retarded there

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was a funny story. Uh my
buddy, my buddy Gabe, he would

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he would always pretend pass out and
so like whenever we would do that,

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he would like just ironically like fall
forward onto a bed like where everybody else

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like you drop like a sack of
potatoes, right, he would like fall

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gracefully into a bed like it was
never a problem. So one time I

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was waiting and I had wound up
a pillow as tight as I could behind

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my back, and the second he
was falling forward, I just wrenched right

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across his face just dropped him,
just dropped, and you know his eyes

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were closed. Yeah, yeah,
so it hurt. Oh yeah, because

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he's limp oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh by the way, this is

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one yeah, yeah, Dad's on
dig what one fifty two? I'm known

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im do. Yeah, So there's
that. How was weak? It was

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pretty good? Yeah. My wife
had asked me the other day, uh,

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how how I got so much candy? And I told her I always

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have a few twigs up my sleeve. Mm, so where's that? Other

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than that, a week was good
works work, and then uh, the

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wife had her appointment on Thursday to
go over all the blood work she had

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to do for like genetic testing and
stuff to make sure like everything's fine and

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everything's good. And we also got
to find out the sex of the baby.

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Nice, So she had them put
it in an envelope so we could

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look whenever later whenever, which would
be like that night, because I knew

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she couldn't wait, so which I
think I was gonna tell you on the

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golf course today, but I chose. I was like, I know we're

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doing this, so I'll save it. But yeah, so we're having another

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girl, so sweet. Yeah,
then will be up soon. Yeah,

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yeah, you guys have anything in
mind yet? Yeah, we do have

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a name in mind. She's so
she's been reading this book for like a

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year and it's a year and a
half. It's a massive book because it's

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like a six book set in one. So she falls asleep when she's reading

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her book, right, it's like
on five pages maybe one oh five.

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Yeah, I mean she's slow.
So yeah, that's why she works from

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home. Shouldn't that be modern as
much? Anyway, her mom read this

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book before she was born, and
it's about like the only way I think

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I could explain this is it sounds
kind of like the Crudes, but in

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book form, like it's supposed to
be like people like cave people kind of

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a thing, kind of a development. Yeah, story, Yeah, yea,

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and there's a name in there that
she really likes. Let me guess,

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yeah with the middle name. Yeah
yeah, yeah, but yeah.

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Other than that, yeah, my
son, he's like full fledged working and

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he enjoys it. So now you
know he has his own like card and

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so his money. Funny story about
that too. He he told me the

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other day he was like two parterre
here one he goes. I had door

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Dash, said my first time was
free, so I ordered it, but

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it never showed up. And I
was like, well, did you put

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in your card information? And he
was like no, because it said it

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was free. I said, it's
free delivery. The food's not free.

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The delivery is for you for your
first time. He's like, oh that

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makes sense. So he's all bummed
out because it never showed up, right,

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I'm like, hey, you didn't
pay for anything. You never whatever.

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Anyway, so I helped him set
up door dash so he could,

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you know, have the app and
put his card on there. So then

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he he door dashed the next day
at work and I said, oh,

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would you get and he said dairy
queen. I said, oh, dairy

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queen, okay, whatever, Like
I'm like, what did you get?

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He was like chicken strips and fries
whatever, and he was like, I

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was going to get five guys.
But he was like, I saw the

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cost of the burger, and I
was like, I didn't want to spend

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that kind of money. And I
was like, yeah, no, shit,

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huh yep, yeah yeah yeah.
So he was like, I mean,

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he goes that the cost of just
the burger was almost how much my

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whole order was from dairy Queen,
with the delivery and the tip. Yeah,

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And I was like, yeah,
it's expensive. It gets fucking expensive.

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Yeah, I imagine feeding four fucking
people. Speaking of that, I

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yesterday last night, we were hungry, Me and the producer were hungry,

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and I was like, look,
I don't feel like cooking, but sushi

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sounds great. Let's order sakura.
And normally, like normally, when we

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order soakura for five or six people, then it ends up being like a

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buck twenty five ish give or take
from there, it's a little expensive,

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Yeah, no it is, but
for five people, it's kind of what

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you would expect because my kids now
eat like normal humans, they don't eat

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like tiny humans. Yeah. So
well, I go through and I make

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the order and I don't think anything
of it and the girls like it's one

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thirty six, and I was like, it's just you and the producer for

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two people. It's like one hundred
and thirty six. What yeah, excuse

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me, what happened to the price? And then I looked down and I

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was like, well, I guess
I kind of did order like a lot.

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Like I ordered three rolls, a
bunch of sushimi. Like I ordered

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a little more than we normally would
for the two of us three rolls.

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Right, there's probably fifty bucks bring
it? Yeah, bingoing with prices now,

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So here's the kicker of the story. Though I get there, Keep

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in mind, people I ordered it
on the phone. For me to go

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pick it up, all I have
to do is walk through the door,

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turn to my left, give my
card to the machine, take my card

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out, take my food, and
I move on. Right. The girl

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was upset because I didn't give her
a tip. All she did was put

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my food in a bag and then
turn around and hand it to me.

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That is no different than a fast
food restaurant. I would not give anyone

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from McDonald's, five Guys, Wendy's, Burger King, any of those a

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tip. Ever. Yeah, I
just wouldn't. It's not a sit down

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restaurant. So I felt no different
doing what I did to this girl.

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She looked down at the receipt and
had the audacity to be like with a

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little sigh, And I was like, oh, I'm sorry, did I

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forget an extra zero? And I
just chocked my food and fucking walked away.

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I was pissed, dude, I
was. I was pissed. Yeah,

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no, I get it. It's
like, you know, a tip

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is for a service, and if
I'm picking up my own food, you

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made my food because typically tipping in
normal school of thought, you're not tipping

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because of a chef. Correct,
You're tipping because of the server. Correct.

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You're not a server. You're a
cashier who's giving me my food.

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And that's it. Yep. And
you didn't even give it to me,

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right because I said no utensils or
extras, and you still packed the bag

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with utensils and extras that I didn't
want in my home. And now I

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have to feel guilty for throwing away
those things, or feel guilty for keeping

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them in a drawer for two fucking
years and then arguing about using them two

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years later. Because the there's an
expiration data on it. I'll tip.

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I'll tip local, like a local
place. Like we had vetos tonight,

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right, so we had pizza,
salad and wings. I always forget about,

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but so so we called in the
order. We went and picked up

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our groceries from from the store,
and then we headed over there to pick

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up our food and I tip them
because they're a local place and the service,

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Like the food's good, the service
is good, and it's it's just

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local. It's different. I don't
it's not fast food. Yeah, I

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don't care about fast food. I'm
not tipping you you know. And it's

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like that that's the ship that bothers
me when places like like you said,

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five Guys does that. In and
Out doesn't do that. Nope, Culver

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doesn't do that. But it's like
there's all these things. Things will pop

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up, like when you're paying,
like do you want to leave a tip?

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No? No, No, I
don't. Typically like the places i'll

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leave a tip is local places.
You know, it's like or if it's

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like you know, like high school
kids and stuff like that, because because

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I've been there exactly, you know, I've been there. I've been there

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where Like I worked at a a
second job when I worked in Vage.

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It was this place called Tariocy Madness, and this company ordered and it's kind

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of along the same lines, right, this company ordered like one hundred and

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sixty dollars worth of food. It's
a big order, right, It was

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a big order. And they came
in and they picked it up, and

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they're regulars that come there, and
they the lady signed for it and left

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no tip and in that case.
See, so it's like, but it's

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kind of the same thing you're saying. You know, all they did was

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come and pick it up. We've
made the food and bagged it and that

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was it. But we're also you
know, we weren't really like we had

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tables and chairs, but it wasn't
really a sit down restaurant, but being

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more of a local style at the
time, it wasn't such a big chain

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yet in Vegas. There was only
two stores and so it was more of

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a local thing. Not everybody knew
about it, and so it was like

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everybody tipped. And so it's just
like when you have that big of an

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order and it was like during the
middle of like rush food hour, and

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you have to put that order together
and then you come in and you leave

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nothing like that. So I get
that side of it. But but in

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the same regard, there's places it's
like like, if I do a Chili's

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pickup order, tip you. They
literally handed you the food, you put

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it in a bag. I came
in and picked it up. Bingo,

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you didn't do anything. You didn't
even most of it with Chilis too,

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like I don't even let them bring
it to my car. I go I

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inside. But speaking of tips,
though, so another part of my week

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00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.600
was I got this text message from
Cassie. She's like, Hey, your

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daughter's been drawn pictures. She's been
on this really cool kick. I want

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to show it to you, And
I was gonna wait to show you tonight.

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Uh now, but you already know
where this is going. I did.

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For those that don't, if you're
part of our Patreon subscribers, you

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could be in the discord right now
and you could see the wonderful artwork that

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my daughter has actually produced. My
daughter decided she wanted to draw frogs.

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She drew stripper frogs with thongs and
titty tassels on a stripper pole. And

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I'm not gonna either. Actually,
pretty decent for a twelve year ol like,

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00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:03.799
it's not bad. There there's some
there's some detail there that is and

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the strip of pole at the end
of it is a mushroom like it kind

220
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of looks like it is a mushroom. Yeah, it does, It absolutely

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does. And I'm not sure where
she got the inspiration from, but it's

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fucking phenomenal and I love it and
I'm here for it, and I'm gonna

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encourage more more photos. I'm absolutely
going to That's all there is to it.

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00:15:22.120 --> 00:15:26.600
She's an artist and I'm not gonna
back down from it. And then

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you should. The other the other
fun thing that happened is we went to

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the pool with kids and Lily overcame
her fear and she jumped off the diving

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board into the deep end. How
bad was it? It was fucking phenomenal,

228
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It was so The first the first
one was it was easy, it

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was cool, it was simple.
She jumped in both feet, hit hit

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the water first. Nothing crazy about
the third one in she started getting a

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little more brave, sure, and
that's when she slipped and belly flopped and

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face first flap, you know,
and it was just you could hear the

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smack on the water and but she
didn't back down. She came up,

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laughing and went right to the ladder, got up and did it again.

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You know. It was yeah,
it was fun. It was fun.

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Yeah. But she did ask me
a question about peeing in the pool,

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which I thought was kind of funny. She's like, Dad, how many

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times have you peed in the pool? I was like today, Yeah,

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you know, but I actually,
you know, hey, if if you're

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Russian outside of the bathroom, what
are you inside the bathroom? European?

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00:16:34.399 --> 00:16:38.840
Mmm? This kind of goes along
with pool. What do you call a

242
00:16:38.879 --> 00:16:45.679
Frenchman wearing sandals Philip flop? Mmm? I like it. I like it.

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00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:56.080
I like it. Oh man,
So I got a question, Okay,

244
00:16:56.399 --> 00:16:59.240
I got a question for you.
This is a genuine question for you.

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Do you like a real I do
like riddles. I knew the answer

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00:17:02.559 --> 00:17:06.960
to that already. I don't know
why I actually asked the question. I

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00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.200
knew you like riddles. You like
riddles and history? I do like both,

248
00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:12.799
Yes, I do. There was
a time that I used to have

249
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riddles stored in my memory because there's
people at work like they're just fun yeah

250
00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:22.559
right, and then it's just like
because they're brain teasers. And the problem

251
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is it's like when you're reading them, you're like, oh, yeah,

252
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okay, I could get that right, But then when somebody asks you,

253
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it's like you go brain dead.
Yep, you go brain dead on some

254
00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:33.720
of the easiest ones too, which
is fucking crazy. Like one of my

255
00:17:33.759 --> 00:17:38.480
favorite ones is this. If you're
you're in a you have a boat sitting

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00:17:38.480 --> 00:17:45.680
on water, and there's a rope
ladder going into the water. Okay,

257
00:17:45.759 --> 00:17:52.680
okay, mm hmm, the tide
rises, there's two rungs of the ladder

258
00:17:52.720 --> 00:17:59.000
in the water, five rungs rings, whatever rungs total right, steps,

259
00:17:59.079 --> 00:18:06.079
we'll call them steps. Right,
the tide rises every half hour, after

260
00:18:06.119 --> 00:18:08.559
two hours, how many more rungs
are going to be in the water.

261
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Oh it's easy, purple, exactly. And I love watching people sit there

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and start counting on their finger and
the answer is none, because as the

263
00:18:17.400 --> 00:18:21.839
tide rises, so does the bows
b But they sit there and start counting.

264
00:18:21.960 --> 00:18:26.559
Yeah, absolutely, I got one. So I'm more of a I'm

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00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.799
more of like a riddle in a
different style, right, So like like

266
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this one here. Poor people have
me, rich people need me, and

267
00:18:36.519 --> 00:18:40.599
if you eat me, you die
nothing. Bingo. Yeah, that's a

268
00:18:40.640 --> 00:18:44.400
good one. Yeah. Yeah,
I like riddles like that, like I.

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And it's weird too because when I
was a kid, I used to

270
00:18:47.440 --> 00:18:52.480
I used to have them like on
the ready constantly. Those in magic tricks

271
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:56.160
like card tricks. I used to
fucking love card tricks too. Oh yeah,

272
00:18:56.519 --> 00:18:59.279
love card tricks. Yeah. I
always like watching David Blaine like do

273
00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:03.599
Street Magic because card tricks are just
fun because it's it's very quick slide of

274
00:19:03.599 --> 00:19:07.960
eye. It's not really that it's
really magic, but it's so good when

275
00:19:07.119 --> 00:19:12.319
when you know what you're doing,
it's good. What about if your uncle's

276
00:19:12.359 --> 00:19:21.359
sister is not your aunt, then
who is she to you? Your grandma?

277
00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:27.440
Your mom? Sounds like, yeah, I went one step. I

278
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:32.519
thought we were in Alabama? Okay, here we go. What had a

279
00:19:32.920 --> 00:19:40.240
what has a head and a tail? But nobody the coin? Ye took

280
00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:48.920
me a second. I'm like,
what what type of building contains the most

281
00:19:48.960 --> 00:19:56.440
stories? A library? Yes,
yes, that's ironic for me to get.

282
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:03.799
Yeah right, I'm stepped in.
I've stepped no spell library? Can

283
00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:06.680
I tag in Jake? Yeah?
Yeah, all right, here we go.

284
00:20:07.480 --> 00:20:11.880
What is always in front of you
but can't be seen? The future?

285
00:20:11.160 --> 00:20:14.440
There you go? Yeah, that's
a that's an oldie. That's a

286
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.759
uh. A plane crashed on the
border of Spain and Portugal. Where were

287
00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:26.000
the survivors buried? There's no survivors. You don't burry survivors. Yeah,

288
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:33.240
we're not giving a pause for any
of our listeners to actually answer any of

289
00:20:33.319 --> 00:20:34.559
these. Oh, it's true,
spitting them out. We're so smart,

290
00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:41.480
that's true. Whoops. Yeah,
Whereas there might be people listening that also

291
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:42.559
do a podcast and are like,
oh, they're cutting out the pause.

292
00:20:44.160 --> 00:20:49.200
No, we're all right. What
goes up but never comes down? Oh

293
00:20:49.240 --> 00:20:53.640
I don't remember this one? Your
age? Yeah? Yeah, also,

294
00:20:53.720 --> 00:20:59.599
my duke, the more of them
you take, the more of them you

295
00:20:59.680 --> 00:21:08.519
leave behind. What are they?
Calm down, Calm down. I can't

296
00:21:08.519 --> 00:21:12.559
answer this because I can't think.
I can't think of a politically correct answer.

297
00:21:12.559 --> 00:21:15.240
The only answer I can think of
we would have to be about Okay,

298
00:21:15.240 --> 00:21:22.400
footsteps is the answer. Footsteps?
Okay, footsteps people. I'll tell

299
00:21:22.440 --> 00:21:26.039
you my answer after the podcast is
over all. Right, Forwards, I'm

300
00:21:26.079 --> 00:21:30.519
heavy backwards, I'm not what am
I? Forwards? I'm heavy backwards,

301
00:21:30.559 --> 00:21:40.200
I'm not what am I? I
don't know A ton a ton Okay,

302
00:21:40.359 --> 00:21:42.519
I knew i'd get you with a
spelling one because you wouldn't think it was

303
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:48.720
a spelling one coming from me.
That's the last one I got. What

304
00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:56.519
goes all around the world that stays
in the corner. Again, I don't

305
00:21:56.559 --> 00:22:00.279
know a stamp a stamp? Okay, how about let me give you a

306
00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:03.599
different one that you can't get racist
about. Hold on, how do you

307
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:08.559
know that Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune are about to get married

308
00:22:10.440 --> 00:22:15.079
because there's rings around them? Yeah? They all have rings. There you

309
00:22:15.119 --> 00:22:18.759
go. You can't put your rings
in a fucking question. Yeah, you

310
00:22:18.839 --> 00:22:22.119
get. I almost said it.
I almost said it correctly. I'm like,

311
00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:25.480
no, I'm saying it the right
way. I'm saying. Is there

312
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:32.200
there was one on here I wanted
to get. Well, while you're looking

313
00:22:32.200 --> 00:22:33.400
that up, do you want to
hear about the new word I invented?

314
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:41.519
Uh? Sure, plagiarism? I
like that. That's a good one.

315
00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:53.039
That's a good one. Uh that's
it should open with that? Where's this

316
00:22:53.119 --> 00:23:00.559
one? God damn it? You
know I I also I don't get why

317
00:23:00.599 --> 00:23:03.839
Marvel doesn't use the Hulk for more
advertisements. Yeah, he's basically just one

318
00:23:03.839 --> 00:23:12.519
big banner like that. Oh man, you know why it's so cheap to

319
00:23:12.519 --> 00:23:18.119
throw a party at a haunted house
because nobody eats anything. No, because

320
00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:22.799
because the ghosts will bring all the
booze. Oh I like it. I

321
00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:29.240
like that. I like that.
I gotta look up. So the other

322
00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:33.279
thing we were gonna do is history
facts, like crazy history facts. And

323
00:23:33.359 --> 00:23:34.599
I had some safe somewhere, but
I can't remember where they. Oh,

324
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:41.880
I got mine, and there's one
specifically I want to I definitely want to

325
00:23:41.880 --> 00:23:45.480
get to. Mine are simplistic,
nothing, nothing too graz like. Here,

326
00:23:45.519 --> 00:23:49.000
I'll go with this one. There
were female gladiators in ancient Rome.

327
00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:56.119
A female gladiator was called a gladiatrix. They were extremely rare, unlike their

328
00:23:56.200 --> 00:24:00.640
male counterparts, but they did exist. Oh shit, that's kind of crazy.

329
00:24:02.240 --> 00:24:04.839
Do you know between nineteen thirteen and
nineteen fifteen it was legal to male

330
00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:10.720
babies. Do you know? That's
also when the Titanic sunk. I think

331
00:24:10.759 --> 00:24:19.119
that was nineteen twelve, damn it. Oh. From nineteen twelve to nineteen

332
00:24:19.160 --> 00:24:23.200
forty eight, the Olympic Games held
competitions in the fine arts. Medals were

333
00:24:23.240 --> 00:24:27.960
given for literature, architecture, sculpting, painting, and music. Obviously,

334
00:24:29.119 --> 00:24:36.720
the art created was required to be
Olympic themed. Ooh hmm, Olympic themed.

335
00:24:36.839 --> 00:24:44.720
Huh that's interesting, I guess uh
m oh shit. There was an

336
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:49.279
There was an Elite eight. There
was an ancient elite Greek military that consisted

337
00:24:49.400 --> 00:24:55.240
of one hundred and fifty pairs of
gay male lovers. They went undefeated in

338
00:24:55.359 --> 00:25:00.799
war for years. Yeah, because
they're right trying to drive everybody's dad.

339
00:25:02.000 --> 00:25:07.039
Cause you imagine look at that butthole, one hundred and fifty gay just ripped,

340
00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:15.799
shredded dudes running at you about I
always surrendered white flag. We're coming

341
00:25:15.799 --> 00:25:22.559
for your ball. Yay. Could
you imagine I'm carrying wooden dildos instead of

342
00:25:22.599 --> 00:25:30.680
swords, just big giant woulden fucking
dildos, Just one hundred and fifty of

343
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:34.200
them running right at you, dude. That would be fantastic. Uh.

344
00:25:34.359 --> 00:25:38.920
Napoleon Bonaparte was once attacked by a
horde of bunnies. He had requested that

345
00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:42.480
a rabbit hunt be arranged for himself
and his men. When the rabbits were

346
00:25:42.519 --> 00:25:48.279
released from their cages, the bunnies
charged from towards Bonaparte and his men in

347
00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:56.160
an unstoppable onslaught bunnies. Yeah,
bunnies. Jesus. Do you know pineapples

348
00:25:56.200 --> 00:26:00.559
in the eighteenth century used to be
rented as a symbol of wealth and power.

349
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:03.880
People would rent them just for a
single night to show off fellow partygoers.

350
00:26:06.839 --> 00:26:11.880
Pineapples no certain size? May yeah, pineapples. Do you know that

351
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:15.759
they stick pineapples up Hitler's ass in
Hell? Yeah? Absolutely? Okay.

352
00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:21.920
Ketchup was sold in the eighteen thirties
as medicine. In eighteen thirty four,

353
00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:25.240
it was sold as a cure for
an upset stomach by an Ohio physician named

354
00:26:25.319 --> 00:26:30.599
John Cook. It wasn't popularized as
a condiment until the late nineteenth century.

355
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:36.119
Really, that's kind of interesting.
The last official Civil War widow, Hello,

356
00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:41.319
Viola died in twenty twenty. Say
that again, The last official Civil

357
00:26:41.880 --> 00:26:51.200
War widow died in twenty twenty.
No way, Hm, that's impossible.

358
00:26:52.799 --> 00:27:03.039
How why why would it be impossible? Did you say the sivil the Civil

359
00:27:03.200 --> 00:27:08.640
War, the silver the silver Civil
God? Damn it? So she was

360
00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:15.279
yeah, one hundred and fucking sixty
years old. I can look up the

361
00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:18.640
exact agent. He's probably World War
two, you dumbass, in the Civil

362
00:27:18.680 --> 00:27:23.279
Wars? What Erna said? Did
you know Abraham Lincoln is in the Wrestling

363
00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:27.640
Hall of Fame. The six four
president had only one loss among his around

364
00:27:27.640 --> 00:27:33.759
three hundred contests. He earned a
reputation for this in New Salem, Illinois

365
00:27:33.799 --> 00:27:40.039
as an elite fighter. Here last
Oh that was a veteran hold on.

366
00:27:40.119 --> 00:27:52.640
Sorry whoop. See Helen Fiola Jackson, America's last known Civil War widow,

367
00:27:52.720 --> 00:27:57.640
has died at the age of one
oh one. So this person married this

368
00:27:57.720 --> 00:28:00.920
person really late, then, must
have. I don't know. I'm not

369
00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:07.680
reading any farther than that, Jesus. So okay, yeah, okay.

370
00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:15.400
Did you know George washed a bit? What's a super hot today? George

371
00:28:15.440 --> 00:28:19.559
Washington opened a whiskey distillery after his
presidency. After his term, Washington opened

372
00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:23.640
a whiskey distillery. By seventeen ninety
nine, Washington's distillery was the largest in

373
00:28:23.640 --> 00:28:30.240
the country, producing eleven thousand gallons
of unaged whiskey. Wow, eleven thousand

374
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:33.400
gallons. It's a lot for them. Then, yeah, now they probably

375
00:28:33.400 --> 00:28:37.039
do that in a couple hours.
Yeah, in all honesty, did you

376
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:44.400
know that that his wife just died
in twenty twenty? Did you know that

377
00:28:44.480 --> 00:28:48.640
ancient Rome was eight times more densely
populated than the modern New York then like

378
00:28:48.720 --> 00:28:52.440
New York today, eight times more
densely populated. Really, yeah, that

379
00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:56.960
puts into perspective how many people actually
lived in ancient Rome. Yeah, it's

380
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:00.759
wild, Like, yeah, that's
kind of crazy. During the Salem witch

381
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:04.680
trials, the accused witches weren't actually
burned at the stake. Majority were jailed,

382
00:29:06.119 --> 00:29:10.160
some were hanged, but none of
the two thousand people accused ever got

383
00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:14.039
burned alive. Huh, that's kind
of crazy. Do you know that the

384
00:29:14.200 --> 00:29:21.960
so the plague, the plague was
actually carried by like rat or lice and

385
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:27.559
fleas and things. Yeah, and
those were those were mostly carried by rats,

386
00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:33.359
and so back when the plague was
around, people who had cats didn't

387
00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:37.480
have mice problems. People who didn't
have mice problems didn't catch the plague.

388
00:29:37.559 --> 00:29:42.720
And that's where the whole witch hunt
kind of really originated. Interesting is actually

389
00:29:42.799 --> 00:29:51.079
because people and what what type of
people mostly keep cats? Women? Yeah,

390
00:29:51.559 --> 00:29:53.319
so yeah, that's kind of interesting. That's not one that I had,

391
00:29:53.359 --> 00:29:56.720
but that's one that I knew interest
a haad. I just kind of

392
00:29:56.759 --> 00:30:00.039
thought that that was h Did you
know that a tug of war used to

393
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:03.640
be an Olympic sport. It was
part of the Olympics schedule between nineteen hundred

394
00:30:03.640 --> 00:30:08.279
and nineteen twenty and occurred at five
different Summer Olympic Games. The nation to

395
00:30:08.319 --> 00:30:11.720
win the most medals was Britain with
five, and then the US with three.

396
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:17.279
Huh. I got a question.
Are you playing tug of war with

397
00:30:17.400 --> 00:30:22.240
your wife when she's given you a
blowjob? Because technically she's on one end,

398
00:30:22.480 --> 00:30:27.279
you're on the other, and I
mean she's trying to get it out.

399
00:30:27.799 --> 00:30:30.960
I mean, I guess you're trying
to get it out too, But

400
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:33.079
do you shoot like it? Like? You know? It makes sense because

401
00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:37.759
because because okay, so there's there's
a in tug of war, you're trying

402
00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:41.480
to pull across midline, right,
so you are because you want to force

403
00:30:41.519 --> 00:30:45.440
your cockai road. So yeah,
technically right, okay, sure, all

404
00:30:45.519 --> 00:30:49.400
right? So the Austrian army once
mistakenly attacked and fought against themselves during the

405
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:57.039
Battle of Kurrasabi's confusion led to hundreds
of casualties. Could you imagine being that

406
00:30:57.160 --> 00:31:07.519
stupid? Wow? The most famous
serial killer was a Hungarian countess Elizabeth can't

407
00:31:07.559 --> 00:31:15.440
pronounce that X said she was accused
of torturing and killing over six hundred and

408
00:31:15.480 --> 00:31:18.279
fifty young women, most of them
were between the ages of ten and fourteen.

409
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:22.880
Holy shit, never even heard of
her. Yeah that sucks. You

410
00:31:22.920 --> 00:31:27.720
know. Diarrhea was so widespread and
common in the nineteenth century that people would

411
00:31:27.720 --> 00:31:36.720
develop opium habits because opium makes you
constipated. Hmm, shit you not.

412
00:31:37.240 --> 00:31:42.160
What was the pineapple thing you said
earlier? That pineapple that used to be

413
00:31:42.200 --> 00:31:47.880
purchased as a sign of wealth and
power. Yeah, okay, like people

414
00:31:47.880 --> 00:31:49.359
would rattis of symbol. Yeah,
they would rent them for the night.

415
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:56.279
Okay, yeah, okay, you
want to do a couple more? Do

416
00:31:56.319 --> 00:31:57.480
you got any more? Yeah?
I got a couple more. I got

417
00:31:57.480 --> 00:32:00.319
one that I want to end on
because it's for you. Did you know

418
00:32:00.359 --> 00:32:08.000
that ice pops were actually accidentally invented
by a kid. Yeah, yeah,

419
00:32:08.440 --> 00:32:14.279
well that was kind of cool too. Uh. Four alarm clocks and way

420
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:19.720
before smartphone alarms, there were people
called knocker uppers who would literally knock on

421
00:32:19.759 --> 00:32:23.920
people's windows to wake them up in
time for work up until the late Up

422
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:30.400
until the nineteen seventies, knocker uppers
used a long stick, soft hammers,

423
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:35.559
rattles, or even pea shooters to
reach their client's windows. Huh, how

424
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:38.519
have I never heard of that?
Did you say this? Like? So,

425
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:44.519
when when Julius Caesar became the Emperor
of Rome at just twenty four years

426
00:32:44.519 --> 00:32:47.799
old, he made his horse a
senator. Did you say I have not

427
00:32:47.960 --> 00:32:52.400
said that? No? Yeah,
so ancient Rome had a senator and it

428
00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:58.920
was a horse. For thirty years, Canada and Denmark have been playfully fighting

429
00:32:58.960 --> 00:33:02.880
for control of a time the island
near Greenland called Hans Island. Once in

430
00:33:02.920 --> 00:33:07.200
a while, when officials from each
country visit, they leave a bottle of

431
00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:14.720
their country's liquor as a power move. Wow. Wow, So I just

432
00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:17.640
looked. I just looked up the
amount of deaths for the Black Plague because

433
00:33:17.640 --> 00:33:22.440
I was actually interested in what it
was. Take a wild guess. Six

434
00:33:22.519 --> 00:33:28.559
million, not even close, way
higher, seventy five million, seventy five

435
00:33:28.640 --> 00:33:32.880
million, seventy five million, it's
a lot. That is a massive amount.

436
00:33:34.440 --> 00:33:39.279
Yeah. What's crazy is that there
were seventy five million people around it

437
00:33:39.400 --> 00:33:47.000
that fucking time. Think about that
for a minute. Huh. If we

438
00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:52.480
have grown exponentially for years, right, and we're only at two point some

439
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:58.200
or no, what are we at? We're at one billion for the world

440
00:33:58.400 --> 00:34:02.559
or something like that, something like
a lot for there to be seventy five

441
00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:07.200
million deaths and there's still to be
a shitload of people around I think.

442
00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:12.039
I think in the United States there's
somewhere around like three hundred and forty million.

443
00:34:12.320 --> 00:34:15.480
Yeah, so seventy five. If
seventy five million people died in the

444
00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:17.719
US right now, yeah, it
would be a lot. Would be a

445
00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:22.800
large chunk, large chunk. Yeah, that's a third, a large chunk.

446
00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:25.519
No, a quarter, it's a
quarter. Yeah, yeah, Yeah,

447
00:34:27.920 --> 00:34:30.599
it's a lot. That's a lot
of fucking people. Yeah, it's

448
00:34:30.639 --> 00:34:36.800
a lot of fucking people. I
had one here, the Three Musketeers candy

449
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:49.079
bar was named for its flavors.
Well that sucks, But why the Musketeers.

450
00:34:50.280 --> 00:34:53.039
Oh because it came in a three
pack featuring different flavors vanilla, chocolate,

451
00:34:53.079 --> 00:34:57.280
and strawberry. That makes sense,
motherfucker. That makes sense, because

452
00:34:57.280 --> 00:34:58.599
I want to say, when I
was a kid, I had one that

453
00:34:58.639 --> 00:35:02.159
was strawberry. Yeah, but I
don't now they're all playing shitty. Remember

454
00:35:02.159 --> 00:35:06.199
that is that one of those Mandela
effects? It might be stay tuned where

455
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.079
you I have another, Abraham Lincoln, I have two more. This is

456
00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:13.719
my second to last one. Abraham
Lincoln was also a licensed bartender. In

457
00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:16.159
eighteen thirty three, the sixteenth President, opened up a bar called Barry and

458
00:35:16.239 --> 00:35:20.880
Lincoln with his friend William F.
Barry in New Salem, Illinois. The

459
00:35:20.960 --> 00:35:23.639
shop was eventually closed when Barry,
a raging alcoholic, consumed most of the

460
00:35:23.679 --> 00:35:31.880
shops supply. Wow, all right, give us your last one, close

461
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:34.880
out. I don't have anymore.
Okay, let me get to it.

462
00:35:35.920 --> 00:35:39.360
You may know them as a bunch
of heroes that broke box office records box

463
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:45.280
office records with their movies, but
the Avengers was also a group of Jewish

464
00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:51.119
assassins who hunted Nazi war criminals after
World War Two. They poisoned two two

465
00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:58.440
hundred and eighty three German prisoners of
war. Damn straight fuck. Yeah.

466
00:35:58.599 --> 00:36:07.639
So six million in two thousand and
eighty three. Yeah close, Oh my

467
00:36:07.679 --> 00:36:16.519
goodness, gracious, so close.
Ship. Yeah. So do you have

468
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:21.239
anything else? Not really, not
really. I'm excited for I'm excited for

469
00:36:21.320 --> 00:36:27.639
the upcoming week. Yeah. You
got a lot coming up? Yeah,

470
00:36:27.800 --> 00:36:31.239
a lot coming out, camping trip
on a lake. Uh. There's a

471
00:36:31.559 --> 00:36:37.760
guy that I work with who his
parents own this, like you know,

472
00:36:37.079 --> 00:36:43.280
bitch and fucking house on a lake
and uh some property up there with boat

473
00:36:43.320 --> 00:36:47.280
and ship like that, and it's
like this, it's this, I don't

474
00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:50.480
know what you would call it.
It's not like a country club, but

475
00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:55.039
it's your You don't you have to
I guess I don't know. I don't

476
00:36:55.079 --> 00:36:58.519
know how to describe it. My
brain's not working right now. But you

477
00:36:58.599 --> 00:37:01.440
have you have to have had the
family. Your family has had to have

478
00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:07.639
owned the land by this lake for
like years now, for generations in order

479
00:37:07.679 --> 00:37:14.199
for you to actually be part of
this community. Right, So it's kind

480
00:37:14.199 --> 00:37:19.400
of a little cultish, but his
parents are very well to do, and

481
00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:22.840
they invited us to come up and
hang out with the kids on the lake

482
00:37:22.920 --> 00:37:25.440
for a couple of days the weekend
before the fourth of July. So I'm

483
00:37:25.480 --> 00:37:28.880
really excited to do that and kind
of see what that's about. And then

484
00:37:29.159 --> 00:37:31.559
one thing that they're gonna do when
we're there is they're going to do this

485
00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:36.320
community barbecue. And like I used
to do these as a kid, and

486
00:37:36.400 --> 00:37:38.400
I remember back East, we used
to have these community barbecues where you would

487
00:37:38.440 --> 00:37:43.800
pay like fifteen bucks ahead and there
would be a shitload of food being cooked

488
00:37:43.840 --> 00:37:47.239
there's games like it's effectively this like
little mini carnival that you go to.

489
00:37:47.880 --> 00:37:51.679
Yeah, we don't do that here
in Kingman. We're fucking idiots. Now

490
00:37:51.760 --> 00:37:54.400
that makes sense. Community barbecues that
like runs in your gene pool. Absolutely.

491
00:37:54.480 --> 00:37:59.280
Yeah, yeah, so you know, so that's gonna be fun to

492
00:37:59.320 --> 00:38:01.280
kind of introduce that to the kids. And then I spent a couple extra

493
00:38:01.320 --> 00:38:06.119
bucks today and bought an inner tube
for behind their boat because they only have

494
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:08.480
a wakeboard. They don't have a
tube, and the kids can't really wakeboard,

495
00:38:09.599 --> 00:38:14.119
so I just bought a tube that'll
give that'll be a nice core memory

496
00:38:14.119 --> 00:38:17.400
for the kids. I'm excited to
take a video. I would get Grayson

497
00:38:17.599 --> 00:38:22.639
launched. Don't worry. I'm mean
launch don't worry. It's a two person

498
00:38:22.679 --> 00:38:25.199
inner tube. So I'll be on
there with all the kids while while we're

499
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:30.360
going and uh so when he gets
you know, eat it off, I'll

500
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:35.840
just let go and fall off with
him so I can save them. Yeah

501
00:38:35.880 --> 00:38:37.360
that's good stuff. So all right, well that'll be good. That'll be

502
00:38:37.400 --> 00:38:42.440
exciting. Yeah, for sure.
I'm always excited for the Fourth of July.

503
00:38:42.639 --> 00:38:52.039
So I like fireworks. You want
to as Okay, So Dad's on

504
00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:55.280
dakevil. You could find all our
stuff at link tree. That's l I

505
00:38:55.400 --> 00:39:00.639
n K, t R, dot
E E slash dads on day pol Uh.

506
00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:05.320
Come join our Patreon. Right at
the top of that, you can

507
00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:08.719
find our merch. You can find
all of our socials like Instagram, YouTube,

508
00:39:08.800 --> 00:39:15.519
TikTok, blah, blah, blah
blah. I don't know why you

509
00:39:15.559 --> 00:39:17.880
just pulled out a knife. If
you want me to, you don't have

510
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:21.360
to click it there. I can
click it on here. That's fine,

511
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:23.360
that's fine. Yeah, because its
super loud through there. So yeah,

512
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:28.599
it's super loud. Yeah. Didn't
you hear the elevator music prior? Yeah,

513
00:39:28.639 --> 00:39:30.519
that was super loud. There's no
way I could talk through that.

514
00:39:30.440 --> 00:39:34.920
Uh. Anyway, Dad's on deck
episode one fifty two. We'll catch you

515
00:39:34.920 --> 00:39:42.599
next week. Piece out later.
So dom I kept trying to make jokes

516
00:39:42.679 --> 00:39:46.159
about the ocean Gate sub okay,
but under pressure, I just couldn't get

517
00:39:46.199 --> 00:39:51.159
the structure of the joke to fit. It. Just it wouldn't it wouldn't

518
00:39:51.159 --> 00:39:58.079
stay. So instead, rich people
usually claim they start from the bottom.

519
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:00.559
I didn't know that the bottom was
actually twelve thousand, five hundred feet deep,

520
00:40:01.960 --> 00:40:02.760
but that's again