No, seriously he did, did he? Yeah? Really? Yeah?
It started with an explosion six million years ago? Yeah yeah, yeah,
six billion years ago, No, six million, six million years ago,
big bang bang, right, and then we had the dinosaurs and then Jesus
I think, and now we have airwon. So it's really cool the way
that we're going. All right, So let's get it to hi along.
I'm to another brand spang new episode of an end another Blowdeck podcast. Welcome
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Permission to come aboard granted. Listen. We love our job. We love
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We're ready for it to not be a show anymore. We're ready for
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Patrick and I. It's not just gonna be you. It's not a solo
thing, but we will fuck each other on camera, and we just haven't
plugged that in a while, and it shows our integrity because the podcast has
grown, We're we don't need the money like that, so we should bump
the price up. But we're not going to be Corey Feldman, right,
We're not going to give you a price for us fucking on camera and then
just change it. You know that's not gonna happen. Vander Pump is coming.
Vander Pump is coming. New season of Below Deck, new season which
I've watched the first episode. Really was it sexy? It's good. Wow.
Also, we were on Reality Craig Nope, yeah, Reality Craik Cray,
Reality Craig Cray, and we had the Reality Gaze on over at bad
TV. So check those episodes out at bad TV, podcast, Instagram,
socials, all that stuff. Let's get into the finale of the show and
I'm at Dylan Pete Ren on Instagram and you are at Patrick Kickey five hundred,
four hundred and ninety nine other Patrick kickeys. Yeah, it's a little
low. Actually, yeah, I thought there'd be more. All Right,
I'm gonna get into it. Can I go first? Go ahead? I
shouldn't go first. I've been talking too much. Let me go. The
episode was titled Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. I don't know if you know
this, Dylan, because you're a young person, but I know the title
lifted from a film from the fifties. It depicted a white woman bringing home
her black fiance to meet her race his parents. And we just did a
remake of it with Jonah Hill and it was extremely anti semitic. Oh wow,
was it by the same title? No, it was like something else.
But like Eddie Murphy was like a devout Lewis ferricn followers like that's cool,
Louis druy Dreyfuss did a good job like talking about like that. Oh,
because I was going to say with that title, I doubt that crackstaff
over at Bravo TV and that production team were aware that there was a film
by the same name of this title. Guess Who's coming to dinner? But
if they did, nailed it kind of not really though, yeah I was.
I was, Oh, you're being pacisive? Yes, yeah. The
titling at Bravo listen, we love Bravo. Bravo is firing on all cylinders.
The Housewives are so good below decks, so good, the titles.
I mean, we just can do so much better. We can do so
much better. You wouldn't jog a forty yard dash, right, No,
you're trying to dash? Okay, all right, we begin the episode.
I'm still in my thoughts enough, Yeah, with a three minute recap of
the season, now, Noll. Normally I'd hate this, but I was
happy they did it because I needed confirmation of what I thought, which is
that nothing happened this season, and so I got that going for me.
Finally, Victor, the final primary of the last charter is the nicest human
being ever, Victor. We need more of you out there, So if
I ever need my brain worked on, I will be calling you forty knots
okay. The three minute indra package to kick off the episode, the first
like thirty seconds of it, we're all Natalia stuff and I listen, I
know that Natalia was on the show. I know that Natalia was a big
part of this season, but we're going to get into all of the Natalia
coming to dinner, like, guess who's coming to guests? Come? You're
really telling me to guess? Okay, missbe with the bullshit. We know
the episode should be you know who's coming to dinner? Great? See right?
You should work in that office. Dell. Oh my god. I
would have said, listen to that man. He knows what he's doing.
He can title an episode. He can title on motherfucking episode. But what
was Natalia doing? Was she in a hotel room or an airbnb or in
a street corner just waiting, like what why are you still in this place?
Still on the Showill we know this because we've seen it a few times.
People need to leave for mental health reasons. This is an unhealthy environment.
It's a pressure cook. Natalia got it and went and slept in a
hotel for a week, and she said, I want back in. Yeah,
she couldn't get back in, so she said, I'll just text people
constantly, constantly. I'm so sick of Cairns, man, I'm so sick
of text bubbles. Period. I don't think a movie's ever done it well.
And you know the blood Deck, you have to have the chirons,
but these specific chirns, they just really got my goat because I didn't want
to tell you to come back because she wasn't on the show anymore. And
it's like, what this isn't Vietnam. There are rules, okay, so
two pots overall, good season, four pots. So we kicked things off
with just the rumpiest little grumpmeister. I assume you're referring to Jeff. Yeah,
what do you do? I didn't get you hired at no, no,
no, I'm fine now, Dylan. The charter, guests and the
vessel are still in the dock at this point, and Sandy pulls her team
together and she says, I want you to be with the guests at all
times, like they're kindergarteners. Jeff, don't pick your nose, Jeff,
stop eating it. It was like that. It's like, stay on top
of them. I'd say, leave them alone, right, one hundred percent,
leave them alone. And it's like this day in Porto Fino is it's
lovely, right, but it is like, thank you for paying so much
money, We're going to take you to a restaurant where you have to pay
for lunch, and won't that be a lovely day? I guess who's coming
to dinner. It's an Italia. The day kicks off, though with another
one of these, like, obviously, Jeff is the King poopy Pant,
right, he is the leader of the Court of poopy Pants. But this
woman, I don't know if it was Stephanie or if it was another one.
She keeps asking the same fucking question, and it's driving me nuts.
And it's also preempted with I'm not challenging you, but I think you're lying
to us because the sea's out there look completely fine, Like how many times
are you gonna ask you? Okay question? I like that, okay,
okay. So this is when they're on their way. They're in the vans,
right, And then I think this is when Toomey looks out and she's
like, hey, look, guys, you see there's no yachts out there?
Right? Yeah? You know what that means. Other people's vacations suck
too, right, right, just like yours, right, because yours sucks.
Yours absolutely sucks. Now I want to say this. Toomey really took
this as a challenge because she's got Jeff here right. She's like, I
need to get on trip Advisor and I need to find the number four rated
restaurant in Port A Female exactly. And it was quite an uphill battle because
again we have Jeff here right, you know, guests paying full price to
never leave the dock. But to me can prevail, I thought at this
point in the show, because at some point in her life, her mother
told her that her dad was dead two minutes before dance recital. So if
you can do that, the world is your oyster. It's amazing what that
trauma can do to your your kind of your grit, right, So like
you don't necessarily realize that it's like rocket fuel for obstacles, and it's a
sad way to acquire said rocket fuel. But you know, Toomey's a cool
cucumber and equalizers said to speak, and it's because of that awful thing her
mom did to her, which she was in yours hop before. Sometimes we
turned bad things into the positive. Dell. Now Luca manure grows flowers.
That's right, right, No, wow, that's so beautiful. Absolutely well,
Luca tells us. The challenge this season has been managing different personalities,
namely a lunatic named maxim Man who's deep descent into madness is so grim that
even subtitles don't help him. Oh yeah, I still clue. He's like
the Colonel Kurts of this show. And I do think that, you know,
we spoke to Lily that episode is going to come later in the week.
She said that it was difficult to get in touch with him. And
I think that it's because he's in the Philippines, deep in the jungle,
and he has some kind of harem around him, you know, and they
worship him, and there are fucking bodies hanging everywhere, and then there's a
fucking cow moving away, and yeah, be concerned about your life. That
cow is not going to make it out. So Jeff and Stephanie are still
at each other's throat. Miserable human beings. Miserable dude, these two.
It's like, Okay, somebody's cheated, or somebody is about to cheat.
Tennis instructors regardless, were we are on a crash course, head on collision
with a what do you call him, relationship counselors, relationship therapists, or
a divorce Now the counselor may come before the divorce, but I still think
that we might be headed there. Well, you know, I hate to
see that, especially when children are involved. Yeah, I will say this
with me. This marriage can work because Jeff works those long hours, sure,
you know, working on someone's brain and whatnot. She gets her little
girl time or you know, she's got a career of her own, but
she doesn't need to deal with Jeff. Right. Yeah, if something is
going to be caddy and loveless, at least he is not there to remind
her of the nature of it that often. Have you ever thought this,
Dan, now that you guys are gonna be fine, You guys are gonna
be fine. You'll be fine. He works nice, he's got a Yeah,
I've thought about this. I love my wife and I love spending time
with her, but I have, through the years of dating various people,
I always thought, you know, I'd love to date someone that had to
work at night so I could watch my own TV show, you know,
because that's the only time I really care about my own time. Yeah.
It's not good though, No, no, no, no, that's not
good. You know, with us being kind of cismeles just boring old cismeles.
I think we need our wives more than anything, and especially at night.
I've been sick lately. I've been on the couch, put out,
put out. I have been doom scrolling. I have been eating peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches, idle hands of the Devil's Playground. Just she's just one
floor up, and I have complete freedom to become an absolute pig, you
know, you know, I was doom scrolling the other night and I saw
a video of someone pov. It was a person on a jet ski and
it was that AI voice and he said SpongeBob. Once asked Patrick, what
if? What if I break your trust? And Patrick says, it's my
choice to trust you, it's your choice to betray that trust. Again,
it's a guy on a jet ski with an AI, black guy who hangs
around white people too much voice quoting SpongeBob. And I'm watching it. And
if that's not the most depressing thing you've ever heard in your life, I
don't know what is. But that's why you need, you know. Thank
God for my wife. Now, speaking of relationships, Dylan, Jessica and
Luca, that that romance. Jess tells us if Luca wanted to date,
she might be up for it. And then when the producers asked Luca the
same question, he says, Jessica whom because he doesn't care about her?
No, because he's good looking. He doesn't have a care in the world.
He has people and they'll forgive you. Want to know why, because
you're so good looking. They can't believe they even had a shot with you.
So sad it is good looking. People get to skip lines, they
get to get their drinks first at the bar. People are nicer to them
in general. They give you smiles when you walk into a room. Now
I walk into goddamn room. People will avoid contact with you. I think
it is very, very very important to not be too hot. No,
you have to be I think it's very important to be solid. Seven.
It's you learn more about life. Life is true to you, right,
because when you are fuck boy and you have the butterfly tattoo, eventually that
in the face will sag and you'll be poopy pants because you were accustomed to
a life of just you know, die an icy in pleasure, right,
and now it you know you can't cut the line. You try to cut
the line, people go wiping the line. Get back there. Yeah,
hey, sir, excuse me, sir, Yeah, you just in front
of us. I've been waiting here for two minutes. Order of martini,
right right, And this is a line in this hypothetical to order of martine.
The best martinis are the ones you have to wait in line for.
Okay, so, Lillian max are They are given a very very important job.
They are told to go off and set up a party, which will
be the single saving grace of this entire cluster fuck of a charter. Let's
see how they did well. Guests head out to that phone party. Guest
points out, so we're gonna be sitting in foaming a container, which I
was asking myself the same questions upon arriving at said phone party. Stephanie,
who is Jeff's wife. She's usually pretty nice, you know, she says,
and I quote, this is terrible. There are inflatables half inflated in
the pool. Phone machine. Looks like what I would perceive an elephant's cock
looks right before it's about to you know it did it looked like, oh,
right before it's about to die. Yeah, It's like you know how
your fluids Drainaudia uh huh, yeah, yeah, it's the elephant goes down
and it just goes Yeah, the blood pools and little stuff spots kind of
thing. Yeah, No, it did remind me of a cock though,
that thing not being like spitting out, you know what it reminded me of.
There's a some kind of funny like live leak video of perhaps hippo bottamus
or something going to the bathroom and its tail spins around and then all the
people are like, oh wow, this is a trip we'll never forget because
all this like schaeological fo skinny little wiggly tail. Yeah it is l They
are bloodthirsty animals. Oh yeah, they kill more humans than great white trucks
now delt just by a long shot. The inflatables are half inflated. The
phone machine sucks. How do you turn those frowns into smilestill listerine cocktail?
You serve them blue smurf coum shots. Right right, Yeah, this is
a great party. It's also worth mentioning that beach club look like the zombie
Apocalypse hit it three weeks earlier. Yeah, there's no one there by that
single person and there's blood everywhere. It's like, what the fuck happened?
Well, rewind people were overcome by some kind of fungus or neurotoxin and they
started ripping each other's orcans out. And there's just one random person who had
enough pride in their job to attempt to clean it up. That's why it
looks as good as it does. Looked great, by the way. Also
the scene of where they end up later on at night, so obviously they
rented that place out. Jessica tells the hater of an eaters. She says
about Luca. She says, she thinks she likes Luca more than she should.
Correction, you like Luca more than he likes you because he doesn't know
who you are. And I don't need to say this, but like to
the seven guys out there listening, and I don't want to come off as
a peg. But like, Haley is like the hot she's like the most
underratedly so oh my god, Haley's so hot, you know, but she's
so she hates ant eaters and she's like not on the show, so you
know she hates hand eaters. You know, you know, because I paid
one hundred and thirty's just whip it up. It's election season. So like,
let's like we're gonna be hearing a lot more from him. You know,
we also have Haley. We got a lot of haters. I've heard
from people she doesn't like it, eaters and aren't happy about it. Now,
a lot of eaters that aren't happy. It's truly the same thing for
this country. Yeah, and that is such a like the a I did
such a good job with Trump there because they got the you know, the
you know, impressions, impressions, impressions, right, so hit him with
the same message. So there are that he says, the hand eaters are
not happy about it, and there are a lot of hand eaters out there
who aren't happy about it, right, And that's just that's just a silver
devil right there, you know, a great orator, you know what I
mean. I got here, I said, this is massive, and it's
just it's a I walked in. It's just so massive, this this place.
Yeah, So to me, I wanted to get your thoughts on this.
I feel like you would have something to say. She gets there,
the party looks like World War ze, right, and she says, quite
literally, I don't I don't care. I just I do not care,
and that's like I think she knows the getting fucked on that tip anyway,
the boat didn't leave the dock. Yeah, yeah, right, but at
least you know, we've been shitting on Kyle all season. But let's give
him his flowers. Well, he does something that Max apparently didn't do.
Read the instructions. I don't know if you knew this, but in order
to create foam you need soap. So yeah, but when you're like failing
this categorically, it can you be pretty stressful, don't you think? Oh?
Absolutely? And do you know what could help tremendously with I actually do
that's stress? Yeah? Tell them microdose, micro dose space. Look to
me, no, I was going to reach for it. Oh okay,
I was going to say, Look, if you're to me and you're throwing
a foam party and it ends up looking like no foam and it's just a
disaster and you are stressed. Unlike Toomey, you could use a little microdose
in your life, Dell. Not only could it help with stress, it
can help with creative boosts. So you could be there doing the thing bad
and then you could take that. You could be relieved of the stress,
and then you could also be like, I think I know how to fix
this fall the instructions. It's the kind of creative boasts that you need.
Pat and I have been taking it mainly for sleep. It's very very good
for sleep. It doesn't wonk you out like other you know gummies. Okay,
you get a very very RESTful sleep. Now. Micro dos does not
claim to stave away the night terrors that Pat has, which we've been breaking
down on another podcast network at Patreon. But you will get a sound sleep,
did I? And I'm sorry to our advertiser for plugging our pay well
in the ad. That wasn't right to do. But micro does is available
nationwide. To learn more about micro dosing THHG, go to micro does dot
com and use code bad tv to get free shipping in thirty percent off your
first order. Links can be found in the show description. But again that's
micro does dot com and code bad tv. All right, Back to the
show. Back to the show. All right, so I guess, uh
the phone party is uh it comes together kind of. Jeff still has a
puss on his face because oh absolutely yeah yeah yeah, and then uh you
get to night time. We get to nighttime, and then we we get
to dinner, Dell, I'm really curious about your thoughts on this, because
Jeff continues to be miserable, absolute poopy pants King of the poopy Pants.
And and before we get there, we have to take a look at this
table scape, right because it's absolutely incredible. You know, It's like it's
like if a drunk irishman took cocaine and set up a table that's what this
would look like. The napkins are bow tyes. Yeah, that's cool,
it's quite beautiful. Sorry, Jess, just Jess had a tough night tonight.
And and I listen, I don't I don't blame her for it.
You know, she's made up with a fourteen year old. Well that's wrong,
you know, and everybody knows that's wrong, including you, Stephen Hawking.
Oh, crumpled up like that. Shame on you. Who would have
known? He was a freaky, freakyek. Now. I got a question
if if the universe really started with a big bang, maybe he was just
like, maybe he was just trying to get pussy. Yeah he was,
like he was he was thinking of a good gang bang. And then he's
a you know, Patrick, big bang. Well, Patrick, I think
I don't think that he's the one that came up with big bang. No,
seriously, he did, did he? Yeah? Really yeah. It
started with an explosion six million years ago yeaheah yeah, six billion years ago,
No, six million, six million years ago, big bang bang,
right, and then we had the dinosaurs and then Jesus, I think,
and now we have airwhon. So it's really cool the way that we're going.
All right, so let's get let's get to the dinner. Oh yeah,
yeah, but first I'll go back one more time because of that unbelievably
beautiful tablescape and all of the kind of praise that she got for it.
The producer says Jess if she could be a leader now, and she says
categorically no, and and that's a bummer. And I would say to Jess
that she undervalues herself in this regard because she had Lily walking around like a
schnauzer on her leash. She did immediately, right, So you can be
a leader. All right, So dinner is served. Who the fuck knows
what was served? Genuinely, I mean there's lots of red meat. We've
got it was surf and turf obviously, right, Because there's no way to
satiate a bummed out group of charter guests quicker than surfan turf. And that's
exactly what Sam wise through them. There was Ahi, there was lobster,
there was steak, and there was mister poopy pants. Now, Jeff and
Stephanie continued to fight quite a bit more, and you know, it's just
it's who is that woman that testified at the Johnny Depp amber Heard trial.
She's a famous couple's counselor Oh, I have no clue. Oh yeah,
there's like there's like some like you say it was a toxic relationship. She
said, well, she said, amber Heard's got fucking bipolar disorder. Oh
Jesus, you know, and that who was paying for that expert witness?
Yeah, I wondered, wow, well, you know the that's the thing.
Amber's lawyer came out and that bowl cut and whatnot, and she was
like, uh, did you like get hired over drinks at Johnny Depp's house?
And she's like, no, don't see how that's relevant. But also,
uh yeah, duh, you can have a fucking that. You know,
that guy around the corner in the rain wielding a bat, Yeah,
he couldn't talk to Amber, you could hire him. Yeah, He's like,
you have what I have? I can see it, you know,
Uh, join me in this shopping cart. So it's very sad what's going
on with homeless, big very sad. I think we're going to turn it
around, though. You need to big time. Were to talk about Luca.
Everybody get behind k baths, everybody get behind her. Okay, I
got to solve this. Listeners around the world. Yeah, absolutely, all
right, Luca knows that NAT's coming, and because he didn't invite her to
join, you know, for that last night out, he's got a little
thing called a plausible deniability in his corner. Oh hey, oh not what
are you doing here? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's amazing
what overcomp it and people think is going to get them out of whatever,
you know, racket they're setting up, and then ultimately it will have not
worked because you'd have to be delusional in thinking that that could give you get
you off'scover free. But then the benefit is that they just don't care.
So you needed not come up with a reason at all, no alibi needed,
just slaughter. So we get to the next day. I was gonna
say, can we get to Kyle, Because Kyle's interesting. Did you see
him make the kind of the truest thing that he ever has ever said on
the show? Gossiping is at the core of him. Yeah, that's right,
he says an eye quote. I will not stop gasping, gossiping.
I'm not gonna do him do it, do it, do it? No,
I can't do it. Justice, I will not stop gossiping. No,
it's who I am. It's at my core. And I was thinking,
this is like what Jeffrey Dahmer when he was in the you know,
the Dayton Circuit. He'd tell his date, Hey, I'm going to eat
you alive tonight. Yeah he's being honest. Yeah yeah, And listen,
Like I would say that it's probably better to identify as a bloodthirsty maniac because
at least that's unique. But identifying yourself as a gossip I mean, listen,
Kyle, we all gossip. There's got to be more to you than
just a gossip Like that can't be at the core of you, right,
So if it's if it's choose something else, or you know, start slaughtering
people and throwing them and that's that, Like, just choose something else.
You know what I mean, you know, I generally when we finish out
a season, I've come around to people that I've talked massive shit about.
Yeah, I still haven't come around to Kyle. I have. I think
Kyle had a great redemptive episode this episode. Now, if he is on
another season, I mean, we'll hate him all over again, right right,
because that's you know, he's gossipy at his core. I I am
a little lost in my head because the marijuana. I feel like I've just
been spouting nonsense time at all. Okay, it is the next morning,
next one guest depart. Victor is so goddamn nice. I don't know why
you hang out with that, that miserable out of a bitch and dark cloud
and incarnate fucking ditch. Jeff, Jesus fucking Christ, you are who you
hang with, dude. I love how we showed that picture when they were
in Port A Fina. Everyone is smiling for a picture and Jeff is intentionally
being miserable. You know, there's a little thing called photoshop. We can
edit your ass out of that photo, Jeff, Well, photoshop is not
very intuitive. It's a little tricky to just kind of get the basic controls
down so maybe another app or something I don't I don't really know. Maybe
chuck it into Dolly, you know. It's like chut Chip's like make the
poopy pants smile and then they put like this weird distorted AI kind of smile
on him. Oh and then it looks like better. I don't feel like
you need to have Jeff in the picture a race. I'm like he didn't
exist, all right. Luca proceeds to have a pretty racy text exchange with
Natalia about like yet naked it and why not? And Luca, I have
to tell you this, I like it despite you being a pig of a
younger, better looking patty. But this shorter though, That's right, I
had that one on you. Yeah, this will you hurt in her feelings,
This Jessica girl, it will be the second biggest tragedy in her life,
next to her not liking someone on her cheer squad. Her Sea rat
history is a little soft, in my opinion, very soft. Yeah,
but no, Luca is sending out the pussy flares and it's really like,
what a little fiend this guy? You know? And and and to me
says, here strikes the scorpio mm hm and you know, we all saw
that movie with Ryan Gosling and bad guy mel Brooks or Albert Brooks. It's
the It's happens. And I'm not calling Jessica a frog. I'm not saying
that, but the fable is that the frog crosses the river and then the
scorpion. Oh he has a scorpion, right, He's like, do you
see this butterfly tattoo? Like, I just I fuck bitches. Yeah,
that's what I do. You should have. Yeah, what a nasty way
to talk. Absolute God. So Max and Lily do something stupid and then
we get to the final tip of the season. Well, I was gonna
say, Lara returned, right, and she's there for three seconds before Kyle
gives her the four to one one on you know, everything that's going on
with the boat, and of course Jessica hears, oh, I for got
sorry he's talking about well, okay, so that sorry. I think that
we're sorry. I think that we now know that's before the tip and that's
my bad. I'm so sorry. So anyway, so Kyle talks about basically
Luca being a pig, and of course Jessica, here's because the sea rats
never learned these quarters are too tight to be trafficking in gossip. They'll never
learn. And then Kyle let's cat out of the bag and then we head
to the tip meeting. Yeah, and it was amazing Jess. Like seeing
Jess put her foot down is like a really empowering thing to see they put
her foot and it's like it's like really cool to see her like have had
enough. Oh of course he drove her to her breaking point. She made
out with two fourteen year olds. Yeah, they high fived after they made
out with her totally, and then like, yeah, like we're like we
went on ma cagion guys, we like got like a three point seven this
semester. Like it's not a big deal. And then Jess is like what
and they make out. But let's also not forget poor Jas, you know.
I mean she fucks Luca at the I mean it's just coming. I
mean, listen, look, you're gonna do what you're gonna do. We've
all all been there. We're attracted to bad behavior. This tip meeting.
This went sideways for me. Absolutely. Sandy begins by saying she's happy that
everyone is here that she started with this season. Am I missing something?
But Natalia's not there. She quit. She started the season, and there
was a guy who stole another guy's identity. He's definitely not there. What
the fuck is she talking about? And Lily wasn't there from the start exactly,
Yeah, Sandy, and I don't know when Max came in. Max
came in at some point. I think I think he was there from the
beginning. No, no, no, no, no he was. He
came in late because Jian had stolen that guy's identity. And then he was
like, listen, I'm really sorry about like not having my license, but
my friend just died. And they were like, oh my god, that's
so sad you are. The police are here, but yeah, that is
you should run. That is horrible to hear. I'm so sorry. Well
all right, well anyway, fifteen grand and then they say that the each
crew member got fourteen grand. This felt like a half a year to me.
I mean, it felt like an eternity, not worth it. But
you know, Laura, she disagrees with old Patty. She's going to use
the money to bang some bitches. Yeah, she's going to Monica, dude.
And I believe in her. She's a classy lady. So Jess slugs
down a massive Dixie cup of tequila and we hit the town with astronauts Sandy.
Now I want to say this about Sandy. Yeah, she spared us
the usual because she's having dinner with the Sea rats. She spared us with
the Hey, let's go around the table and talk about what's great about the
person to your right. Yeah, Rose and Thorn, she did not do
that. And she eats her Greek salad and she gets the fuck out of
it. My Rose of the season was just learning so much about this industry,
and my Thorn was Kyle, You're a fucking piece of shit, okay,
And then everybody's like, dinner really went sily. My god. So
Luca gets a text from one of his girlfriends and Jess calls him a fuck
boy and then announce the brazenness of Luca to text Natalia right next to Jess.
I mean, it's just here stings the scorpion. I mean, it's
just unbelievable. And just lastly, Toomey notes that Jess is not drunk,
She's past drunk and on her way to just like a balder dash kind of
hair fucked up drunk in front of somebody who has like a forty year chip,
even though she does value him. I'm glad you mentioned that, kidding
that, I'm kidding that though she's California sober. Yeah, why didn't anybody?
Maybe they did and we just didn't see it. In editing, when
you see someone getting this fucked out, you don't sit on the sideline,
especially at being a girl. Yeah, you're like, all right, I
know what you're doing here, and you gotta stop, right, you gotta
stop. This is bad. Instead, they just let it, They let
it roll, and we get two, the info that Natalia is coming finally
hitting the table. Boy, the anxiety flows from Kyle's eyes. Well,
it's because he's triggered, Dylan. Yeah, you know. Yeah, no
one told him she was coming for once. It's something he's not used to,
which is someone asked you not to tell someone something, and they all
did that. They didn't talk about an Italian coming. Yea, they kept
a secret. Kyle's confused by that. I think he spoke to turmb Raider
in Afrikaans about how betrayed he felt by he did, which, Kyle,
do not come after the only person that has had your back and speaks Afrikaans
Okay, yeah, that is a really valuable ally. And also, Kyle,
the other thing, Uh, don't ever wear that outfit out again.
You look like you were headed to basketball practice. You're a gay guy,
you're supposed to be the tready one. Well no, no, no,
But what you don't know is that I think that's back. I think like
formal, so formal third grade basketball attire is like what it's made to come
back. Yeah yeah, yeah, oh all right. Well so like dressed
like you were going to practice and then just change the fabrics and the color
and then wear big shoes, I think, yeah, and then just spitting
people's mouths. See, I thought he looked ridiculous, But what do I
know? Right, So Natalia arrives, big, big surprise, and she
is zeroed in on Luca. This is she'd also send a text earlier we
didn't touch on. She said tell something like, oh, tell your girlfriend
that her services are no longer. Nah. Now that was Come on,
Natalia, that's a little out of line. Come on, Natalia, that's
a little out of line. This whole thing is like I hope for you
know that I don't want anybody to suffer outside of bloodthirsty corporatists. Okay,
you know me, that's right, right. I want Natalia and Kyle to
do better, and we can all do better, obviously, But Natalia coming
back to this nightclub latching onto Lucas straight out of the gate is just the
thing that it's so she must have been so out of body and so anxious,
and it's such an act and it just gives me the KBI weaby gbs.
Can I point out something that we don't talk about because we don't want
to break the fourth wall? We're watching a show as they serve it up
to us. Natalia technically could have said I really want to hook up with
you and hang out. Why not do it after charter season? But she
needed to show up this final night, right, So weird, so weird
the way she came in. So just like by the way, you know
who was really disappointed by this hook up? Jack Max? He lost all
respect so much. God, I wish we got to We had a great
interview with Lily, but I didn't get to ask her this question, the
fact that you're hooking up with a dude and the Frenchman said, Hey,
Lily, I'm going to need to make out with Oh my god, shame
on us. How what an oversight because I just watched the episode. God
damn, that's such a bummer on us part. But she was confused by
it. But I think it's because she the libations that she didn't fully take
it in and understand that he was telling her I need to exact revenge on
Luca by making out with Jess with Luca being nowhere around. Didn't see it,
didn't see it if he did, wouldn't care, didn't care. He
is in the bowels of the boat, wet, wiping his cock and getting
ready to have sex with the person that you are using to exact revenge on
it. It's just like, Hey, you're doing it in front of Lily,
who has just tried to wrestle a rocky shore who is in a tattered
Listen, that outfit is fleek as fuck, right, But when that outfit
gets black out, that outfit can be sad fast. Oh yes, you
know. I mean she is rat fucked well Lily, but also Jess.
I mean she was running through that club at some point after she called Natalia
bitch like a caribou, like a bad Bumny. Lions are definitely gonna catch
because she's like hobbling. It's just sad when you see yeah, yeah,
yeah, it's not good. Don't do that. It's not good. So
Natalia and Kyle finally chat. He gives her a final apology and this is
the end resolve for now until they fight again on social media and blocking.
Right, So that's what thirty two year olds do to each other. Luca,
this little skank. He in a very patronizing I kind of like a
little god, you know, being able to see into the future and the
actuality of things. Says, come on, enough with this. Okay,
Natalia is gone. We're back on the boat. Come on, come to
sleep, okay, and good on Laura and Kyle to go in there and
intervene. And I love tomb Raiders so much. In this moment, she
loves Luca. Okay, he's like a brother to her. But they're so
close, and she has such a good just tendrils she can call him out.
She has these tendrils of wholeness that are just coming out of her.
She's good with Luca, so she can look at Jess directly in front of
him and go, what are you doing? He's an absolute pig. You
want to sleep with him. Scorpion strike, he's striking, get out of
here. She is Lady Justice in that moment. I so respected that absolutely.
But she does not listen. And then we get to the next morning,
and this is delightful for me because I hadn't seen this done in a
while. Do you remember how Tomy woke everybody up? No? Okay,
all right, okay, hang on a second, hang on, I get
no, no, no, okay. She begins waking everyone up with smashing
pans with each other. Okay, very much? Is that from Bad Girls?
That's from Bad Girls? Okay, all right, I just worry.
Okay, I know, I know what you're thinking. And it's not it's
not an equivalency thing. It's I you know, Okay, it's like it's
I've seen people woking up in the morning. I'm Bad Girls Club like that
on two separate reality TV shows. Okay, Bad Girls Club. In Below
Deck, episode sixty okay, season eight, all right, Sandy also wanders
her way down there, and it's like, listen, we might roll over
and do this again. Now is not the right time for you to come
down here, Okay, give us a little time to wash the smut off
of our bodies. The booze will not be washed off because there is an
engine that is pumping it out of our pores. Will not be done until
probably a week. But we have our good byes, and I always hate
the goodbyes, but I appreciate it as a someone who has to make write
notes on the show. Yeah, because they're absolutely there's nothing to say about
them. They're just hugs, nothing to say. They're the one thing I
The redemptive moment from Kyle was him going up and thanking Sandy for giving him
another chance in a really like earnest way. I think that he thanked her
for helping him see some stuff and supporting him, and he should be thanking
her to me. Okay, first season, I think that she's gonna learn
a lot from this. Luca so excited for him to be a bosa.
Yeah, but I wouldn't let him near any females that I know, because
three minutes off the boat he's texting in Italian one hundred percent, but there
is okay, So don't let him near any of your girls, right mister
Steeio girl, but bring him back his boats and bravo, do not dare
let him get in a relationship. Dude, he cannot be, although maybe
he can be. He doesn't care about people, you know, it just
holes. They're just holes. Getting the iTunes ready for don't We want to
thank everybody for listening to us this season. I'm going to oh, okay,
okay, getting the iTunes ready to reviews, leave five stars? And
how many knots would you give this season? Right? Let us know and
also join us Patreon dot com, slash another podcast network. We're doing the
Happy Hour today Tuesday at five o'clock if you hear this, we'd love to
see you. Lots more content coming there, and now we just want to
say the front from the bottom of our hearts. We love you guys.
We love you guys. Hey, don't forgive me to digress for one second.
Love is blind? Oh Season five drops Valentine's Day? Oh my god,
So dyl are we going to give him a couple free ones before we
put up? I don't think we'll do that many, but listen, we
love you guys so much, so much, and like the show is like
growing, and it's like really cool that it is that way, and like
we're we're doing this and and like we we can only do it because of
you, guys. So tell your friends, tell your family below deck Og
is around the corner. We're super excited to see you guys for that.
We're excited to talk to Phrase again, our buddy Phrase. That's gonna be
a fun season. God, if Fraser does anything wrong and we have to
tell him, you know, you fucking you know, Oh my gosh,
what we're gonna that's gonna be a machine gun right back. But we love
Phrase. We're excited for the new season. Have a good rest of your
week, have a good, happy new year, have a good rest of
your year. You know, well, I mean we're gonna see it tomorrow
or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so we'll see soon. I'm
doing Say good bye, Pat, Say goodbye. Where do in? It
is thett Faction dist