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The Broken Lords Thank You, led by their resident expert, Optimer Thornediver whatever
Octimer's last name is. I didn't give myself one, just Optomer. It's
just Optimer. I feel like there needs to be a family name after thorn
Diver. That's neither here nor there for a family name. The tension in
drama and all of our episodes come in waiting through the first ten minutes of
us bullshitting before we do anything. So yeah, it's real meat of every
episode is I wonder what acidine shit they're gonna talk about this week. It's
probably gonna be something stupid. I guarantee you this is part of the course
with podcasts all right, go on the wilder the ship gets. How else
are we supposed to get the utterly fantastic episode titles without the bullshitting? It's
very difficult without them, right. It's not like we can pull the fan,
put it out, cut it all out, stay toxic zo, leave
it all hidden. Coming into the beautiful bonds eye that it is all right?
Do you want me to roll? Do you want me to just walk
into the thorns? We're walking into the thorns. I love it, all
right, it's sick. I guide my band of quote friends into the thorns.
I would consider you a friend now, friends, not by choice,
but by circumstance. My brackets friends. Oh damn, not brackets friends.
No, that's listen to two months in a valley, in a dank wizard
valley. I'm homies with you. That's where fair, that's fair. I'll
take it. I'll leave my friend Vega and my brackets friends. I think
there's things that we all like it about each other. And there's like two
to three things that we all do at camp that makes us want to strangle
the fuck out of one particular. If Proctam, it's that he now has
a halfway decent bow but he still keeps his pants holster to his belt just
in case he meets the backup sleep and Ricardo just can't understand it. I
keep my pants draped in my belt, hanging next to them as a small
pouch of stone. And next to that is the bag where he keeps his
rock. Do you know how many times I've not say phrasing. You step
into the thorns and it is all crisscrossed game trails and here, oddly enough,
you only have to double over like here and there. The majority of
these game trails are like six or seven feet tall six or seven feet tall,
three and a half for feet wide. In most pit places, it's
not terribly hard for you guys to wander around this getting bad vibes from the
Bob. It only takes about five minutes for October to realize it is going
to be really difficult to navigate because everything looks the same in here is taking
these trails. The one thing that's consistent is to the north, the ground
slopes down. However, that is currently the best navigation aid that he has.
Once you are in like the thick, thick part of the thornball,
the light that filters through is like gray and dim. I see, so,
Octomer, I am going to mean the first of potentially many survival checks
for you to try and navigate the party through this mess and it is a
difficulty. Or okay, well there's a moment you should spend some fortune?
Is what I would say on that that that's pretty bad? I would say,
can we assist somehow? Yeah? No, there's no momentum in right
now? Can you assist? Yeah? What a good looking question? What
qualifies you to assist? I would look too Octomer to say, hey,
does anyone see X? Where X is something helpful to allow us to navigate?
And then we all look for that like the moss? What are we
looking for? Moss would require sunlight to grow. Without sunlight, it would
just grow evenly around everything? Got it? Or maybe did anyone notice what
direction the wind was blowing before we walked in here? Or can anyone tell
where exactly in the sky the sun is so that we can sort of compass
it? But not really, I'm going to fail a role for a slid.
Okay, I'm gonna you have two successes out of it, right,
and you're starting it. Two successes for success is baby for successes? Baby
for baby successes, well though they're full grown successes, but they have a
baby just required to. I think this gives me doom if your successes have
a baby that doesn't what the fuck you put out. It does that,
and I'll admit it, but I don't think that I want to see the
passage. Give me the page number. All right, So you are able
to enter the thorn Wall at about ten am because you stop to regather somewhere
rations and stuff first, Yes, four hours go by, yeah, yo,
all right, and that is when you start to realize that you've crossed
your own footprints in the soft dirt more than once. No, oh,
no, I bet this is some wizard ship man. You change up your
formula and you managed to go a while without crossing your old path anywhere.
You estimate that you've made it maybe two or three miles back east. Eat,
Yes, there's nothing as far as you can tell that directly cuts to
the north. A lot of times when you travel to the north you end
up getting lost and coming close to the southern side of the wall. Again.
Everything loops, everything doubles around. There's no rhyme or reason to it.
However, with four successes, you think you're starting to figure out that
if you continue, if you work your way east, a lot of times
there's a little hook in the path that'll double back and lead a bit more
north. But there's a really long zig zag pattern that's sweeping back and forth.
As far as you can tell. This motherfucker literally put us in a
fake game trail thorn maze. I'm gonna beat his ass grass grass stock.
Did he just leave it for us to get stuck in ourselves? Will I
find him? I'm gonna put my bow down and I'm gonna beat the shit
out of him. All right, all right, We're going to straight old
man arguing over a shopping cart and a quiz nos arky lock. Ricardo quote
Legs on quote Vegas A nice little conversation with him in this break that I
found as I'm going to break his legs and then tie his fucking shoe head
shooes to cement and leave him the fucking drink to die. Wow, Okay,
Legs, I just yeah, I got Ricardo legs, and we've got
optimers for diver. Ricardo just Legs as his nickname, as opposed because he
actually has a last name Optimer with no last names. This is a very
lower heavy session. I have neither gained nor lawst doomed today so far,
but I've gained infinite lore. So your knowledge of the land shall be great.
Speaking of knowledge of the land, can I get another survival check from
optimer target number quatro? All right? Well, what's hell without fortune?
Tokens? Spending one more? Try your hands? Well, I got two
successes. Hey, that was the second worst role I could make without giving
up around what you would estimate to be. Somewhere in your four PM you
catch sight of some tracks heading in your direction. They belong to about four
humans. Yep? Are we all human? Yep? Yeah, those are
ours. I'd love it to be an a bambush, but it's not.
I don't like that. I got a scribble some notes down. So glad
that you gave him that idea? I not glad at all. Then I'm
gonna given presents tonight, Jordan. They gave the world the dummy thick thorn
wall of giving the DMBO games. Dude, what's next? Baby? I
don't know. Let me reach into my mystical sack and pull some out.
How do we help? Is there a way we can help. You gotta
explain to me how you're help trying to think of something? All right,
I would like you leave the thorns and set them all on fire. No,
that's what I would like to do. I don't think it'll work,
though. Is there maybe a way I can, like if I can take
some cloth to maybe tie off like routes we know are false now, you
know, like if we start like marking off trails we know gone bad like
by so we can process of all nation and our way back. That could
work. So how do you want to mark them? Would it be okay?
Round are we walking on? Is it wet? Is it sandy?
It's kind of like soft soil. It's not muddy yet, It's you're farther
away from the swamps than that. If we had something dragging behind us,
for example, would it leave a wake a trail? I feel like,
because your footprints are effectively already doing that lid, I personally think marking off
bad trails might be a better way. Yeah, yeah, I was thinking
maybe, like you know, if I have a dagger with the alligator two,
so either like an obvious symbol, like either like if a dirt maybe
or in the brambles themselves. The rambles themselves would be like a bet heah,
you could do something like that, maybe cut away like a small cluster
of them so that it would be noticeable. Yeah, something like that.
But I had the roll dice for that. No, but you you will
be able to give a helping die. What's that lid? If you do
a diagonal line or some kind of discernible direction to your cutting, it can
tell us which way we went from that point. Like, I know we
have footprints, but like if it rains, for example, we might not
know. Sure, you know what I'm saying, Yeah, I can,
I can do something like that. Yeah, if you do it in a
way that is indicative of we went this way, then then yeah, the
swans aren't like this. But like if you had three vertical stocks right side
by side and we were moving from left to right, if you cut it
so the leftmost stock was the lowest, the middle stock was a midpoint,
and then the right stock was the high point. When we know we went
to the right, we're going low to high. If that's the pattern that
we decided, it's not it's not important. How Just like we can extrapolate
that there is basically like a cipher to your right the way that you're playing.
Yeah, to help you with the process. Yeah, we make an
obvious arrow for for like, you know what what path we took initially and
what is bad? Yep? All right, So Vega's going to use his
knife and wherever there is a branch, and probably periodically along the trail,
he's to keep making marks. Have we heard or seen anything besides ourselves out
here? There's little like birds and stuff flitting around in the thorn bushes,
maybe the occasional snake or something on the ground, but nothing large otherwise.
All right, Optimer, Yes, give you another survival with one bonus die
from Ricardo's trail mark. Nice. I'm just going to roll straight survival this
time. My target number is still four, isn't it. It's still four
right now. Yes, it could happen. It didn't, but it could
all missed it by one. Really yes, well, I mean that only
would have gotten you three anyway. But with Ricardo's help you are able to
start solidly eliminating trails, but it takes another couple hours before you're finding a
route that doesn't double back too much. However, you do begin to make
steady progress. The shadowy light is getting dimmer and dimmer, and, judging
by the rumble in your belly, getting very close to the evening, when
it just so happens that you come upon a smallish clearing, I don't like
that. It's big enough that if you want to settle down in camp there
would be space, and the path ahead the briars start to look a little
bit thinner. Where you came from, where the briars are thicker, there
was exactly one path that led here. The briars ahead of you are a
little bit more open. Optimer thinks it'll be a little bit easier to navigate
going forward from here, but again it is. It's getting late. You
at least need to stop for some food if you don't want to rest here.