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You're listening to kf I am sixty
on demand. Dean, Welcome to the

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Jesus Christ Show. All right,
okay, I'm driving. Uh yeah,

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it's a little low. But let's
see if we can get through this.

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What can I do for you,
Dean? Well, I have a life

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situation our Father's day, and I
first want to say thank you for having

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this show. And I have kind
of a cargo ship full of problems a

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boy one. The one thing that's
you know, highly irritated to me is

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the disconnect of my two young boys
eight nineteen and twenty for me or the

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last almost ten years, due to
a very ugly custody battle, and that's

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drifted over into my relationship with my
father. There's eighty six that comes from

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a depression era from Montana and doesn't
necessarily know the intricacy's related to family law,

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and so to just think I can
pick up a phone and make a

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phone call or go visit the kids, but the court orders state that I'm

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to have no contact and I can't
violate that. But the parental alienation has

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been great and unfathomable, and I've
been praying daily, pervently for best outcomes.

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But not to men to financial destitution
and being impoverished. I'm trying to

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get my legs back they get up
and running. And I'm now fifty one

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and I feel like I've lost a
lot of time. But I'm actually a

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pretty good person, at least I
think so. And I've done a few

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things that are totable. I'm about
perfect. I still make mistakes. They're

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a racis of my menial and so
I'm going to get first some something.

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I don't know what to ask.
But that's kind of the shortest walkest story

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I can get you. Okay,
that's fine, Dean Um. So why

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did you lose custody and not even
be able to see the children? Honestly

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and as short as possible. I
was accused a punch my son, which

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was not the case. It was
just construed in every effect and used totally

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against me, and out of an
abundance of caution, the courts issued out

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a restraining order that was renewed not
once but twice. Okay, And it's

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kind of the cartel of family law. I don't want to get insolved,

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you know, matters of my own
opinions about it. But I'm on the

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short end of the receiving stick,
no doubt. Well, m, how

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old is your son? My eldest
son is now twenty and my youngest son

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is nineteen. I mean, did
they come to your defense? You know

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they did not. They were very
young, but this action occurred. They

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were probably die for ten years of
days and they were living majority of time

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with their mother. Who a real
vitriolic eight for me. Okay, but

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one is twenty years old, and
the court can't keep you from that person.

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That person's an adult. They could
see you if they wanted to.

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How come they don't want to see
you. When speaking with him as the

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ships last month, he said that
I'm invalid. I'm an invalid and that's

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stressful, and then he hung up. Okay, and by invalid, what

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did he mean? Obviously you're driving
a car. What did he mean by

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invalid? Well, I'm facing homelessness. I have no home. I lost

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my home. Try again, shout
was I could I know of the combination

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of a perfect storm situation with the
economic recession in two thousand and eight nine,

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and also after having a twenty year
career of broadcast television, things change,

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layoffs appens the media. You know
you need to save money and circumstances

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changed, sure, but there's there's
people that were in the similar circumstance and

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and aren't in the situation you are
in. Here, here's the only the

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only constant in these problems or these
issues are going to be U Deane,

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And you're the one who is bold
enough to call. So we've got to

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focus in on you. But there's
also some things that people can perceive things

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differently. We all know that and
if and that can work in many different

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ways. But if you have a
set of family and this isn't just about

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your wife, Yes, I know
that there are contentious relationships. I know

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that there are people that will lie
about each other, especially in family court.

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It's one of the most vulgar and
deep dark places to battle is in

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a family court because emotion and children
and everything else are tied into it.

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But an accusation of hitting a child
at the time nine or ten from your

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descriptions that those types of things are
very specific, and when you bring in

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the powers that be to do investigations
and all of those things, that it's

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not impossible by any stretch. I
think men get the short end of the

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stick. Oftentimes that's changing, But
there are groups. There are even pro

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bono groups that you know back then
ten years ago or so that would defend

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fathers, and it can't always just
be a kind of conspiratorial thing. A

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perfect storm usually is a storm that
is part circumstance and part lifestyle, meaning

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that yes, circumstances did come your
way, but also there were things that

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you did. So unfortunately, we
only have a certain amount of time here.

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So Dean, this is what I
want you to go away with.

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You need to search your heart for
your responsibility and the part you played in

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all of this, and making amends
is something that you need to do,

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not only to the mother of your
children, but to your children as well,

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because everything's still coming from your point
of view, and that's a suck

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on other people, Like this is
where I am. And it's scary to

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a child in the best circumstance,
even an adult child, to look out

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and see a parent that is not
in a position of strength, even a

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capability of taking care of themselves.
So it's a very difficult circumstance all the

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way around. But you played a
partners, you really did, and because

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you were strong enough to call I
need to impart that to you. That

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is an imperative that you take that
away. And if your adult children say

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this is not what I want,
that is their prerogative. Now, the

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fact that your father has separation from
you as another layer of concern, because

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it sounds to me like you are
a larger part of this than maybe you're

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allowing yourself to see. So you've
got to do some deep diving and understanding

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of your circumstance. And I invite
you to call back again so that we

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can talk at a little more length
than we have today. James, Welcome

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to Jesus Christ Show. Yeah,
so the question I have for you is

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a lot of churches UM teach the
tithing is a requirement, and a lot

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of people put their their members under
that system and tell them it's necessity.

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And of course, over time I
run across a lot of people that have

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trouble paying it. They can't afford
to paid UM. They have a lot

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of troubles, and they feel like
they can't move forward in ministry because they

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cannot perform this financial obligation obligation exactly. And when I went to study the

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scriptures, I determined that this is
something UM, there's not a requirement for

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day Today's New Testament Christian correct um. And so I want to kind of

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get your thoughts on why so many
churches teach this doctrine, which if you

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really read scripture, it says anybody
that justifies themselves by the law actually becomes

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a curse. Well in this particular
and that's a that's a whole different discussion

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into itself. I will I'll answer
for the sake of time looking at tithing,

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this concept of a tenth in Hebrew, and you'll find in the Old

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Testament was a command that was for
the purpose of giving back that which you

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receive and having, and making sure
that that you're giving back to the people

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of God and the things of God. Yeah, in this particular case,

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you can reference Psalm twenty four one
and also Malachi three eight through ten.

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But that does change. As a
matter of fact, throughout scripture. You'll

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see that there's no place where where
I reference, you know, tithing that

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it needs to be done. I
don't say that the disciples have to do

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it. There's no record concerning any
of the New Testament writers saying that there's

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this Christian tithe or anything like that. The early Church practiced sharing of material

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goods first Corinthians sixteen one and two
Ephesians four twenty eight. That's kind of

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the model. Also, you're asked
to be a living sacrifice for God in

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Romans twelve one and two, and
to give material really as the Lord leads

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you to give second Corinthians eight one
through five. If you are in a

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church, and you are a member
of a church, you should be giving

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just because if you're not, you're
taking from that church. You're going and

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you're receiving, whether it's air conditioned
or not, or any of these things,

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you're taking from that church, and
you should be giving back to that

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particular community, part of your community. As far as giving the tie,

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the ten percent is, you know, a great way for people to kind

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of get it in their head that
this is a good standard. I think

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that's mostly why churches still refer to
it as a tithe and still give the

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ten percent. If you want to
do the mathematics of it all, it

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really comes out to, if you
go through scripture, about twenty one percent.

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But that the purpose of tithing is
just to get yourself in the mindset

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that when when you're receiving, you
should be giving. And if you're partaking

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in a church, and you should
be giving back. It's not that God

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needs the money. God doesn't need
your money. It's that the church does

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to continue to work and to do
good things, and to give to others

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and all those things. So don't
take, don't steal from the church.

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However, if if ten percent is
what helps you do ten percent, but

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if you could give more, Bible
essentially says give till it hurts. Thomas,

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Welcome to the Jesus Christ Show.
Some people come in seem to be

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more mature, more wise, and
more their filtering system. Your discernment is

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earlier in earlier stages of the life. I guess wisdom beyond their age.

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How could you explain that, Well, it's like anything else. There are

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people that have strength or intelligent beyond
their years as well. And the term

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that a lot of people use as
they're an old soul, which doesn't fit

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the Christian narrative where there's no particular
age of a soul or any of those

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things. The concept of a pre
existent soul and things like that in scripture

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where it says that before you were
in your mother's womb, I knew you.

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Things like this and So in that
sense, God knows all things and

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the entirety of your life already before
you're ever born, because God knows all

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things and is outside of time,
which explains that in the Christian context,

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So in order to actually have an
old soul, the concept of the samsara

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or reincarnation or those types of things
have to kind of come into play.

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And there is too many people's chagrin. There's no place, zero place for

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reincarnation in scripture in the Christian the
Judeo Christian views, there's just no place

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to start. Excuse me. I
don't want to take that too far our

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line. That was just a curiosity, but I like the attitude and the

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halt fool has half empty glass of
water, and the idea that we have

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free will, we give a free
will. So it's like evil is feeling

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a something that's missing, and that
is my understanding of my excuse me,

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yeah right, my my creator's purpose
for me. I'm here, okay,

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uh and uh, excuse me.
I'm a little over sensitive, but I

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don't think someone could be over sensitive
if it means them understanding their heart.

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If you lash out at people,
I'd be concerned. But why does this

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make you emotional, would you say, Thomas, I, I think it's

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at same times the humility of the
the graces has shown me throughout my life

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and the wonderment of life, and
that a certain point is beyond like little

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bits of scripture. I understand.
I'm well versed in scripture. But the

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the mercy and the grace that has
shown to us or to me the individual

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has become apparent to me little flashes
over the last twenty thirty years that I've

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been of sober mind. Did you
use the aftration for that? On that

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note? And I think we might
have talked about this ten years ago,

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m R. On that note,
so, uh, did you struggle with

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substance abuse? Uh? No,
that was that was taken out of my

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hands thirty plus years ago. You
did at one point, right, correct?

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Okay, Well, often when people
have gone through struggles like that and

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have felt the pain and the separation
of God and God's will and things like

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that, they're very appreciative. So
to to be emotional or to feel the

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intensity of grace and forgiveness and all
those things is intense on its own.

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But when you climb out of certain
things or deal with certain pains, Um,

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then it can amplify that relief and
appreciate in those things. Um,

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I'm curious as too. I don't
want, I don't want, I don't

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want. You know, you're you're
saying somebody the the descens of belonging to

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a greater family. That's the warmth
of my heart. That's there. It's

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come stronger and stronger, the sense
that I'm a part of a larger family.

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Of course our rd's family. Absolutely. You know, I'd say I'm

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not a big churchchoer or anything like
that, but I do listen to a

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lot of radio, and I do, and I'm going to listen more.

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You You are a You are like
the Eskimo out of the wilderness almost they

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have somebody who ever said that,
I don't know, I don't know where,

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and like you are sure who said
that either, And that's very kind

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of you to stay Tomay somewhere.
But Mike, the thing that I want

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you to take away is an understanding
that it's every it's all much bigger than

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this program. And the reality is
you you do need a church and you

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do need to have that that structure
preferably. Um. You know, my

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producer Neil is not big on church
because he works all the time, and

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that's his excuse. But the structure
of having that in your life is a

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powerful thing. And yes, you
are part of a larger family. Second

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Corinthian six eighteen says in the I
will be a father to you, and

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you shall be sons and daughters to
me, says the Lord Almighty. Absolutely,

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you're in a bigger family. You
are connected to others through this,

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and the power of that is super
overwhelming. Your original question, and I

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understand you're emotional, but you're going
in a lot of different directions. The

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concept of an old soul and those
things is that really there are people that

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are They say that there is an
IQ which deals with your intelligence quoted,

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and then an EQ an emotional quotient
to somebody who understands emotions and those types

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of things. As you gain or
as there are people that gain these things,

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there are some that have the gift
of understanding and putting it in to

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context. And sometimes, yes,
there are people that seem wise beyond their

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years, but usually what that means
is that they're introspective and they're empathetic.

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And the reason that is is that
most people start out quite selfish, you

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know, teaching a child how to
share and understanding the concept of sharing and

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connecting with others, being a part
of a community. And so there's some

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people that get that. They crack
the code, as some say, the

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code of life, like everything is
a code. When you learn about numbers,

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when you learn about letters, when
you learn about speaking or walking,

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it's just a human breaking the code. Okay, this is what I have

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to do, this is what needs
to be done. And there's some people

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that understand the codes of life more
quickly or deeper than others. Earlier on.

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People always say, oh gosh,
they're an old soul, but really

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they start to understand empathy and others
and selflessness at an early age, which

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is what most people see as well. They're not selfish, I would assume

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they'd be selfish at that age.
Or they have a good sense of humor

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or a sense of humor beyond their
years. This can come from a lot

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of different things. Often that comes
from engage, well some of it's genetic,

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but very engaged parents. It comes
in by having older siblings, being

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surrounded by and having connectivity with your
family. So if a parent enjoy certain

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things, old music or things like
that. Then often the child will take

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on many of those attributes and learn
appreciation for things, maybe beyond their years

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because their connectivity with family and the
like. So all of these things can

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make up what would make someone say, hey, that person is an old

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soul. People use that term about
themselves sometimes, but really it's somebody who

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has an appreciation for things not only
within their generational standards, but outside of

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that and also beyond their years,
and the sense that they care about things

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that maybe most people their age do
not care about. And in the fullness

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of that, you end up getting
somebody who is well rounded at a young

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age, understanding the importance of things. So whereas you might have a child

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who's like all about sugar, cereal
or these types of things, you'll have

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some children that understand right away when
their parents said, this is not the

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most nutritious thing for you, let's
try something else, or the family eats

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based on more nutritional, nutritionally valuable
food, and the child understands that the

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name will see things and therefore actualize
those things themselves. And that's why how

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you raise or interact with a child
is so important. They see good standards

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and and examples is what becomes powerful, and often people take that Thomas to

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be an old soul when it's just
somebody who has learned that selfishness and being

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selfish is not beneficial to them or
anyone else. Oh Nelson, Welcome to

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the program. How can I help
you? Um, I'm kind of in

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or. I divorced in in the
nine proximately nineteen and my wife and I

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had alcohol and drug problems issues and
I had had them for a long time

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in my life. I am one
of those sixties kind of people ran away

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to San Francisco and all that stuff
when I was a kid, issues with

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the organized church I belonged to and
that kind of stuff, and I ended

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up married to a woman that was
in that religion. And I don't know

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where I'm going with it, but
we have I have two boys, thirty

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seven and thirty five, and my
thirty seven year old has done pretty good.

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He's been with a major utility company
for quite some time. And my

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youngest is a heroin addict and has
been to prison and out of prison three

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times now. And I when I
ended up, when I separated, I

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went to AA and I went to
NA and it worked for me. Yeah,

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I getting goose bumps out because kind
of loving creator is you? Is

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the truth and the answer. I
don't know if I'm the best Christian on

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the planet that I pray and meditate
every day from my from my boys and

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have ever since the separation my life
took me. I used to work at

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school. I was a custodian.
I cared about the kids deeply and was

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respected, even though you know,
I well, there was a lot of

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drinking going on and maintenance and custodians
and teachers and everything, but it was

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that's what it was. At Christmas, go to teacher's auge number one and

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get your stuff and again to go
go home with a case of mird,

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a couple of models, you know, and yeah, for the I know,

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there's a lot of twists and turns
to your story. Everyone has that.

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That's me, that's just me.
No, I just is there a

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question for me this morning? Yeah, I know it is. Actually,

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my youngest son has been in the
program son and then he always relapses.

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Everybody will get hopeful his mom and
he has a son and their family,

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you know, and recently got out
and my life is well off, very

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well off. He stayed with one
of her girlfriends. Something went wrong.

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He stayed with the grandparents, parents
of his son. Something went home.

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They called me, they say,
you've got to come and get him.

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And I'm in a situation in a
fifty five and over and I have housing

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assistance, and I couldn't have I
couldn't have that the drugs here where I

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live. And I tried that.
I realized it just wouldn't I would lose.

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I would be back on the street
myself. So I made him leave.

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And I feel I did a horrible
thing doing that, because well,

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my youngest son ended up back on
the street, calling them couch to couch.

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He's got a job in a car, but he's still using. Yes,

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he started using again. You know
there in lies the rub. You

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can't have that around yourself. That
won't help him, for you to backslide

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into that situation. I don't feel
that issue where it's tempting for me,

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you know when I see it,
you know, all that stuff to want

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to do it again. And there's
the issue of me trying as a twelve

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step person to help him. And
but he needs Nelson, he needs a

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sponsor that is separate from his family. It's the same reason doctors don't work

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on their family either, or it
just it's not a good situation. And

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really the reality is you're still working
the program yourself, and that's a bad

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situation. You can't you can't beat
yourself up for the circumstances. I do.

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I do want you to hear this, not punitively, but I want

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other people to understand this when you
hear versus like Proverbs twenty two six,

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train up a child in the way
he should go, even when he is

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old, he will not depart from
it. It works both in good and

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bad. And because there was alcohol
and drug that's the way that children were

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raised and they haven't departed from it. They're struggling and they're finding their way.

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And as you said, one of
your boys has done better, but

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they both struggled with it because it's
what they were taught. And I know

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you're past that point, but there's
others that need to know that. That's

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you impart these things to them,
and that's what they end up seeing,

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that's what they end up feeling,
that's what they end up understanding. You

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didn't do wrong to have your son
out of your house. You're not capable

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of helping him in that sense,
you're just not and you both would end

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up on the street. But it
doesn't mean there aren't things to do.

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It doesn't mean you can't make phone
calls and find out if there's services and

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things and to guide him, guide
him into an area where he can get

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the help he needs. K f
I AM six forty on demand