Tricia's smile lit up the room when she told me about this. She was
so excited to tell me about morally questionable life hacks. So tell me what
they are. I have not read this. You got to kind of drive
me through this, okay, So to be clear, life hacks little simple
tricks that maybe you shouldn't do them, but they're so easy to do,
and they kind of help you out a little bit. On the flip side,
they're causing somebody else some headaches. One of them, this is the
one I think is kind of funny, and a lot of elevators. You
can hold down the closed door button while simultaneously pushing the floor you want to
go to, and it goes straight to that floor. It will not stop
on any other floors. That's on every elevator. That's on a lot of
elevators. It's meant for servicemen and firemen. But I mean that means all
the other people waiting on the other floors are kind of getting screwed. Lot.
You're in a hurry. You're in a hurry, right, Here's the
one that I was like, Holy crap, I kind of do that.
Do you go to the movie theater and you don't want anybody sitting in the
seat in front of you. This one Reddit user pours coke in a seat
and the share in front of herson. It's in front of her. Oh
can I tell you something terrible that happened to me at the movie theater a
couple couple of weeks ago. I went to the movie theater and I got
my usual big bucket of buttered popcorn, and I put my own butter on
it. Well, clearly I put too much butter on it, because I
was sitting there in the movie and I had it on. I wore at
these brand new pair of shorts, and I set it on my left thigh
the bucket while I ate it. Right, I got up and it had
soaked through the popcorn bucket and onto my shorts. The butter, the butter
yourself, And no, but it won't come out. Oh yeah, no,
it's super oily. You know what's ruined? You know, to get
some of that dawn dishwashing soap. I bet that takes it out. I
washed it already and it's probably not coming at all. You can still try.
But did you put on it? I put soaked the cardboard box?
I don't know I think the box was flimsy. I don't know, but
I'm bummed because I love those shorts. I don't know. So now I
can only wear those shorts around my guy friends because every if I warm around
Trusha, She'd pointed out every single time I got I can hear your arteries
hardening from over it, and I do that every day. You don't act
like you don't use a lot of better when you make your homemade melting back
on that too, because I'm healthy. Here's my version of the poor the
coke in the seat in front of you movie theater seat. I buy my
tickets online and I buy up against the wall, and I buy the seat
next to me, even though I know I'm going alone. And then when
I get to the movie theater, I turned my ticket in for a refund,
and then I'm guaranteed that nobody sits next to me in the carible just
off sandy. People don't know how to act in a movie theater. It's
just self preservation on my part. I weren't acted fine at the movie theater
I was in. There was only five of us at the theater. Yeah,
one of those one of those. I'll see what I'm near the movie
theater and I got time to kill so I'll see what's playing. And it
was a movie called Roxy. It was ro xx Y, and it was
a story of a girl that started loud to pornographic movies. And that's to
say it went mainstream. Okay, so that's weird. And again you'll watch
anything you say that about me. Like I said, I was in the
area and it was showing. Here's the one that I'm all thought about doing
this, or I've thought about how easy it would be to do this.
I am not telling people to do this. Walk into a Chipotle, Panera,
any restaurant that pulls online orders on a shelf. Oh yeah, walk
up to the shelf with confidence, take one of the bags and walk away.
Get you a free meal out. I thought it. I'd never do
it. I would never do it, But I'm like, who would have
nothing to keep anybody else from doing it? The embarrassment of getting caught right,
just it's not worth it, yeah to me. And here's the equivalent
of girls going out buying fancy, expensive dresses, wearing them one time without
taking the tags off, and then returning it. Walmart has a ninety day
return policy for pretty much everything. So where you live, you have a
heat wave by an AC unit, after ninety days, return seventy two inch
TV. You want a big old Super Bowl party, get this big old
giant TV before ninety days return it. How much people are doing all these
things, They're just betting people won't do it. Yeah, h interest,
do you have one? No, I am morally sound. I'm not like
you. I'm not like you at all, exactly like me. I've had
a few people ask me if my diary Perpetual Disappointments is a real thing.
It is. It is a real thing that I have that I write in
on the regular. I gave it to you kind of as a haha,
as a joke. I had no idea you would take it seriously. It's
like your journal. Some people journal, Yeah, this is your journal.
It is just got a different direction. These are not all the great things
that happen. These are the things I want to stay angry at, things
that I think, also know will never change. For example, some of
my previous entries, and I'll tell you what my latest is in just a
moment. How I know that I'm not one of God's little soldiers people?
I know I will never speak to again. Things I know will be a
failure, grudges. I'll always keep games. You're bad at games, aren't
bad at things. I'll never organize text and emails. I shouldn't have sent
people I used to like, but now just like you write them down so
you never forget. Yeah, best guess when I'll die. And annoying conversations
I have overheard, not that you were involved in, just that you happen
to hear over let me guess in a restaurant or a doctor's reception area.
But you're not in your house when you're in these places. Yeah, and
you don't. The whole restaurant doesn't need to know that your wife's cheating Anya
with your het X buddy. And I can't think of a single time when
you're out in public that using your speakerphone is appropriate. Yeah, it's not.
And I think it's the waitresses person responsibility to tell them. Yeah,
here's my latest entry. Things I never get right the first time. And
here's my example. I've got a fifty to fifty shot. When I plug
in a USB chord, then I'm gonna have it up the right direction,
going turn it over fifty to fifty chance. Right, your odds are higher
than mine. Never. No, everyone's runs with the same It's either one
way or the other. No, I'm saying, well, do you get
it fifty percent of the time? No, I never get it right.
That's the point. Things I never get right the first time. Never,
And that's one of them. Yeah, Oh, tris me. In fact,
I'll go to myself, Well, I'm getting ready to plug in a
USB. I'll go nope, I'm gonna flip it over, and I flip
it over and it's wrong. I should it go with your first instant?
Yet your other example of go with your gut? Do you have one that
like you never get it right the first time? Never? Ever? Oh,
there's like an installing a like a light fixture or something. You never
get it right. It wobbles the first time. The thing that I've noticed
most often that is never right is struggling with the attachments on the vacuum cleaner.
Never put the right one in the right way, or if I had
to take the hose out, I can't get I can't remember the configuration to
get it back in right, especially at the car washing you have the vacuum
getting it back on there correctly, and shame on you people that just leave
the hose on the ground. Yeah, you're the same person that doesn't return
your your curser cart yep. Yeah, same person. You're the same person
he probably litters yes bad yep. So I'm sure. But right now,
just one entry there on things I never get right the first time, and
that's plugging in any type of USB cord. I never guess, right,
Ah, guys, there have to be more things. I feel like,
we'll think about it for a little bit. Oh, that's why it's in
the diary, so I can jot it down every time I think of it.
I highly recommend that the Perpetual Disappointment's Diary for you. It's very calming
therapy, it isn't it kind of a outer No, it's good to get
it out. That's how I get it out. It's like how I you
know, because you know you're not gonna listen to me if I complain about
something. No, So I just that's how I do things. Okay,
all right, do what you gotta do, whatever works for you. By
the way, you know how women always talk about are stereotypically guys never express
their feelings. They never open up. I'm gonna tell you something. You
want to hear a man express his feelings. Listen to blues music. Only
place the guy does it, you know what I mean. And it's because
it's in a cool way and it's so bad. Oh my mom, I
went there, so I baby went out and left me and I only had
two nickels in a dome. Country music but not like they're tortured. Yeah.
Oh it's so sad, So so sad. Guys, keep your feelings
bottled up inside. August doesn't feel like rodeo season, but I guess it
is. I think it is rodeo season to me. Always seems like cooler
weather, like spring break time. Yeah, that's where it's normally when the
Austin Rodeo is. But there's a rodeo happened in seed Apark. We're gonna
get to that in just a second. For those of you that love an
Irish pub, there is a new one open on Sixth Street called Dead Rabbit,
and it's it's a bar that started out in New York about twelve years
ago and they've expanded and now they're in Austin. They moved into they moved
into my old beat Riley's Joint. Oh really, Betty Rilly shut down.
They were there for like twenty years. Yeah, and so now a Dead
Rabbit if that rings a bell. If you saw Gangs of New York,
that was the name of the gang, one of the real life gangs in
the movie. There was a real life gang that they portrayed in the movie,
Leonardo DiCaprio and all that Dead Rabbit was the name of their gang.
What was the name of the pub in New York that we went to that's
been open forever Doorle's Pub. Yeah, if you're ever in New York City,
that's there's two things you need to do in New York. Yeah,
two places to go. One as you go and you get a You can't
order just one. You have to order two pints. They're half pints at
mcsorley's. And they have your choice between dark and light and that's it.
And if they don't like you, they throw you out. Yeah, be
good or be gone. It's been there since the seventeen hundreds, Yeah,
continuously operating. Oldest alehouse in North America, which is really a cool place
to go. My dad used to hang out there, and I mean it's
five blocks from where he grew up. The other thing is the Tenement Museum.
Remember that tour we were That was really cool. The Tenement Museum tour
was super cool. I thought you were going to tell him to go to
Veneros. It's an Italian baker. Why are we talking about things in New
York? I don't know, because I asked about mcsorley's. Oh we got
sight. Were you looking something up on mcsorley's. Yeah, just see if
it was still a listeners send me pictures from mcsorley's, like they heard about
it from from us and they go. And it's a good time, really
and the best horse radish mustard you'lllebrity in your life. They'll give you a
plate of cheese and horse rattish mustard with salting crackers. Salting crackers. The
Rodeo is coming to Cedar Park, Texas at the agib Serve Hi Rodeo August
ninth and tenth. It's sponsored by michelob Ultra. It is full on rodeo.
It includes bare back riding, saladur bronck riding, bull riding, calf
ripping, all the stuff's girls, barrel racing cool which I love they've added
more mutton busting competitions. Remember when Landry wanted to do that? So you
wanted to do it so bad? Why didn't we letter? It's never got
tin of signer up, and you know, I don't know. But you
can get tickets. Tickets doors open on Friday the ninth. You can get
tickets at the HB Center. They're on sale now. Buy tickets now adults
forty bucks, children thirty five twenty five. Price is subject to change.
I mean it looks like it's it's gonna be fun and it's right here.
Yeah, and you're just getting back on the ninth from North Carolina. Oh,
I get back on the night. Yeah. Maybe he could go on
Saturday the tenth. Yeah, we should do that. Would I would definitely
go. I love the rodeo. It's a blast. Yeah. Is there
a concert? Not that I Let me keep looking around. You also can
get tickets on ticket Master. Let me look around and see you again.
This is at Cedar Park at the h BET Center coming up August ninth and
tenth. If you want to check out the rodeo. That reminds me I've
got to get with my friend April about my performance with the Magnolia Musical Theater.
I'm doing a cameo in their presentation of Footloose, which is showing right
now. It's going on right now. Yeah, it goes through when in
August to fourteenth. I think that, Yeah, August fourteenth, and it's
free. It starts at eight fifteen every night. Just look it up Magnolia
Musical Theater. It's very cool, very cool. I hope, I hope,
I hope that they make you do a little dance number with them.
And Silker Hillside Theater is doing oh legally blonde. I believe that's right.
Yep, yeah, that'd mind. If you've never gone to Zilker Hill Site
Theater. It's cool. Take your chairs, take a blanket, sit on
the side of the hill. It's very fun. It's a cool, very
awesome thing to do. One thing you can say about Tricia, along with
being the people's reporter, you're an idea girl. I am an idea girl.
You're not an execution girl. Oh, I have people to do the
executor. I came up with the ideas. That's the hard part, right.
Trisa's constantly got ideas that things. She can go on to Shark Tank
and get rich doing yep, her. My favorite. One of Trisa's was
the writing of bad words on rocks. Bad word rocks. I still have
them. I still have not given up on that. We were in a
store in Nebraska that would sell them. Yeah, a store in Nebraska that
had all the it's the same store that sells the socks that have bad words
on him sayings, bad sayings, yeah, you know, kind of kind
of raunchy sayings, those kinds of stores. Those are my people for me
to sell my bad word rocks. And it's just a rock, a black
rock, and I write, I stamp in white ink just bad words on
the rock and seal it. And it's just something really cool about holding a
rock that has a bad word on it. This is the same hand.
This is the same store that I got our daughter a pair of black socks
and in white letters on the side said the Ramones And I'm like, that's
cool. Oh, I thought you got that at the record store. Oh
was it at the record It was the record store. Yeah, it was
at the record store. We've all seen those socks that say completely inappropriate things.
They're funny, but those are my people, right, But my people
are the ones that get socks and say the ramones on them. Anyway,
trist You're not alone. Thirty three percent of Americans say they believe they have
an idea that could make them wealthy, and nineteen percent say they have a
feeling in their bones that one day they're gonna win the lottery. That's me,
I'm the nineteen percent. I'm actually a tiny part of my soul is
shocked and disappointed every time I don't win the lottery when I bought a ticket.
Now, those with the big ideas not the Latto winners. They or
their plans are a business idea, a blockbuster movie script concept, or a
hot stock tip. Oh mine's a business concept. Yeah, well, you
also have the feeling in their bones. Yeah. Thing. Now here's how
here's a little bit more how it breaks down. Men are more likely than
women to feel confident that they'll strike it rich one day. Thirty nine percent
of men versus twenty six percent of men, and twenty six percent of those
who have a big plan think they've come up with a game changing idea or
a product that's never been done before. I will give you, for example,
the scrub Daddy. I still don't understand I made a this scrub Daddy.
That's the sponge with a happy face, right, yep, don't understand
why it's so amazing. I don't understand because it's cute and it's a good
sponge to it. It's a good cleaner. But what about my rock Sandy.
I think that I just haven't had the right the right audience, yeah,
yeah, the right audience, the right marketing, yeah, the right
everything. Right your rocks, I'm telling you. I also think that I
have a number one single because I have the title. I just haven't written
this song yet. Oh, I have the title. I have the hook
for my number one song, right, got bits and pieces? What's your
hook? Someone's going to jail. Oh, it's a good hook. I
don't want to say my title because I want someone to steal my idea.
Oh. I work on it sometimes in my brain. And then you and
I have our children's book idea. Yeah, missus Rugle took a poo.
We took action on all of our ideas. We'd be rolling in it.
Well, I'm working on an idea that I'm not going to tell you guys
about that's actually in the world. You know about it. It's in the
works and it's gonna be big. Oh yeah, no I know about that
one. Yeah, that's gonna be big hu big yeah on the radio.
No more. God see gives my happy ask bag. It's like when I
win the lottery. Working four hours, I see it beyond the radio radio
talking on the radio, act like you don't like it, nonsense, doing
stuff and count my money by our own radio station, depreciating asset.