You're listening to the Downbeat on ninety seven to one The Freak. You heard
the man I like Derk said, you're listening to ninety seven one The Freak.
This is the Downbeat. I'm Danny. That's kt JJ producing. Mike
Surroy will be back next week. He is enjoying a much deserved week off.
Ninety seven one The Freak the home of the Dallas Mavericks, who tip
off tonight. I believe it's seven point thirty against the number one seed in
the West, Minnesota Timberwolves. A big game and we will carry all of
the action live right here on ninety seven one The Freak. Very very excited
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of us and kind of what we're all about and what we've got going on
tonight. Something that was just released this morning, I guess, or the
information was released this morning is the site of Super Bowl. The next super
Bowl that they've announced is going to be at SOFI in LA, and I
believe that will be the twenty twenty seven super Bowl. Yeah to two and
five years there. Yeah, two and five years there, which does not
bode well for that thing ever coming back to Arlington, and that's got to
drive Jerry a little bit crazy. Now we had one here. I believe
the stadium was either one year old or two years old. Three years old.
I think it's twenty eleven. It was a twenty ten season, so
twenty Yeah, i've been it's third year because I think it opened in eight.
Okay, maybe it's O nine it opened. What was that was that
Green Bay? That was Green Bay and it was Steelers. Yeah, it
was Mike McCarthy. Yeah. And if everybody, I'm sure everybody that was
here at that time remembers, we get one super Bowl in Arlington and hell
freezes over. There's some watermarked photos from the up in the sweets at that
game that are pretty interesting if you want to see Harvey Weinstein and Bill Clinton
and George W. Bush and Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diez and Ashton Kutcher and
then Jerry all in the same sweet area. What an unlikely group or a
likely group and Joe just came on there. It's a lot of Harvey Weinstein.
But I don't think that this area is ever going to recover from the
fact that we were awarded a Super Bowl and something happened that was out of
our control, and that was that the entire Metroplex iced over. The worst
ice storm that we have had that I can remember. And I remember driving
to media day that day where we were on I thirty driving about I don't
know, twelve to fifteen miles an hour. It took us around an hour
and a half to drive from downtown Dallas to go get tape, yeah,
you know, player interviews on media day. And it was horrible. It
was absolutely horrible. This this whole city was just frozen, and we have
the Super Bowl then we're not ready for it, haven't recovered from it,
have not recovered from it. So that's gonna put Jerry at what eighty five?
So if I have twenty twenty seven or twenty twenty eight or whatever was
the next time five more years, he'd be eighty five or eighty six years
old. I mean, mate, he needs he needs to get one in
twenty eight, twenty thirty. Yeah, because you know, just be realistic.
I mean, which it's you know, he's he's eighty one. So
like Jerry looks the same as he did five years ago. To me,
yeah, it looks the same. He's got access to the finest in medical
care and yeah, health regimens and all that stuff. I don't know if
Johnny Walker Blue is part of the US mandated health regime for Jerry, but
uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm I'm actually kind of surprised that
the NFL hasn't allowed the Super Bowl to come back here. I think they're
just like, man, that was such a bad experience, and they've got
so many other places that have offered up brand new stadiums. Atlanta, Minnesota,
in Minnesota, go one went. Did you go to Minnesota? No,
I've never been to a Super Bowl trip one that happened here. So
we went and we were trapped in the mall all week long. Yeah,
because it was zero degrees outside the difference is it's supposed to be expected there
and number two cities in the North that do have that type of inclement weather
regularly are equipped to handle it, and Dallas was not. We don't have
the machinery, we don't have the infrastructure to handle that. And I understand
why it's just not cost effective for the upkeep and maintenance for all of those
things for an event that may happen once every seven or eight years. But
I just don't think the NFL is willing to risk it. And it's a
damn shame because that stadium should have had two, you know, two total
by now, but it looks like it's gonna happen anytime soon either, much
to the sugar inn of your dunes. All right, let's get this started.
You need to get this thing under way. Kevin. It's time to
put your little sweet buns on the hot seat, because you, sir,
have been conducting performance reviews for the iHeart Cluster, and your focus this week
has been on personnel of the freak, namely the on air staff. And
let's see, we've gone through myself. We did Bit and Skin, we
did Jeff and Julie, and I think we're going to do Mikey tomorrow.
But today it's time to put the host in the audience seat because we're going
to look at some stuff that you did this year and we're going to see
if it is good enough to pass muster with corporate. I hope it does,
because I really like working with you, dude. I've had the most
fun I've had in radio working with you and Mikey since we started this thing
in July, and I really would like to see you come back next year.
But it's all going to be contingent upon how Corporate receives the following examples
that we're going to send to them that are going to represent your full body
of work of twenty twenty three. So if you're ready, Okay, yeah,
I'm ready. Okay, I'm nervous, all right. Number One,
live spots are a very very important part of what we do. We are
very closely connected to our clients, Andrew's American Pizza Kitchen and I, I
mean, I go back with those guys when I execute a live spot for
them, I am prepared. I make sure that I've had a drink of
water, so I don't you know, cough or or have any kind of
interruption, and I execute those live spots, I mean with a lot of
integrity and flaw Sleep. I agree, and I think those are things that
you know, the company looks at because look, they spend money. That's
what pays our salaries or our our clients. And I think it's important to
take those things seriously. Kevin, I want to make sure that you take
these things seriously. I don't know if you did in this particular. Rodney
Anderson live spot. Let's listen. How you doing today, Rodney, I'm
doing good. K Good morning everyone, and good morning to you. K
let me Memorial Day weekend, yes, sir, Now, obviously a big
weekend on the housing front, and a lot of our listeners might be out
looking for a new home. Maybe they're out looking for their first home.
What are you seeing out there on the real estate market? That was just
from today, Do not breathe. I was wondering what you guys are living
at during the live stocks. I wouldn't pay attention Rody was talking. He's
completely ran out of enough air, probably in what do you sing out there
on the real estate market looking for a new home. Maybe they're out looking
for their first home. What do you sing out there on the real estate
market. Well one, well, what do you sing out there on the
real estate market? I sounded up what Jason Whitten sounds like normally at the
end seem like I might have been touching myself first home? What do you
sing out there on the real So what happened there is Yes, we we
uh, we did have video surveillance footage and Kevin was in fact touching himself
during a Rodney Anderson live spot. I had just taken my first wig of
sardine in town, so I was like, oh, constipated, do you
need to make a poo poop? I hope that Kevin, if you are
allowed to come to iHeart in twenty twenty four, that you start taking your
live spots and namely our clients a little more seriously and not try to touch
yourself. Something I can over the holidays, I'm really gonna practice, think
about and get right with God and with our advertisement. Y start practicing not
touching yourself during live spots. Kevin, you know, we do a lot
of characters. We do a lot of impressions. Some of us are really
good in him. I've got a list of characters that, oh my gosh,
you go down the list and it's like, is it them? Is
it Danny? Who knows? He's so good? Kevin? I think you
need to work on your impressions. Oh no, okay, Dolly Parton is
in town for the ACM Awards. She's co hosting with Garth Brooks. But
also, if you remember, Dolly part was inducted into the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame last year. When she was nominated, was like, I
don't want nothing to do with this because I don't know. I just feel
like it's disrespectful to rock and roll music. Yeah, she's sounding more like
Cosby just then than Dolly Partk. I don't know what that voice was.
I'm sorry. Okay, at least you can recognize what just happened to apologize
for it. Stay away from Dolly parton impressions moving forward, especially seeing what
kind of shape she's in after the halftime show. She's got to hang on
to something. And let me let me give you an example of what a
better Dolly Parton would be. Okay, well, ask me, I'm Dolly
Parton. Asked me a question, Hey, Dolly, how did you feel
about your halftime performing? Wow? Well, this was bringing good jab jab
on the one didn't have to lean against the rail in the bit, and
then I slipped on the pudding. Pop. If you're gonna do Dolly,
do it correctly, do it right. Yeah, you're right, Kevin.
I was I think I was more doing you doing Dolly. I was going
for it when she was nominated, was like, I don't want nothing to
do with this. Let's go to the next clip. Kevin. Oh,
I simply wrote down here, heaven, stop scaring the metroplex. Let's let
JJ attempt beds for the six o'clock segment until we find one that we really
loved. I want like this kind of vibe. So when people wake up
and they hear our voices, maybe they've got their alarm clocks at the n
K E G. L the freak that this somehow lulls them back to sleep,
and then they get in trouble. Yes, let's do it. Let's
get the lose their homes and they can't turn the channel if they fall asleep.
Okay, that's on at is next level too, TSL times slept listening,
stop it. There's probably been multiple studies done on what a morning show
should is it? Should it be wake up, get up and go,
or should it be I'm sure that is what it should be. Right,
Probably this is a gentle good morning that won't work here in this town.
Probably not. Let's get loud, go. Kevin looks funny when he yells,
Kevin, we're still trying to figure out how we're gonna handle that first
segment. We are we gonna come in here and beat open up, Pyata.
I don't know what the right thing to do is is do you gently
wake up with your audience or do you scare scare them to bowel movement like
you tried to do just then. I don't know if that's the right one
so far. Kevin, I'm sensing this review is not going in your favor.
Let's see if you can pull it out with some comedy. Kevin,
I've always thought you were a really funny guy. Your jokes are great.
Let's see how how some of this humor stacks up for what I Heeart's looking
for. That was Mike Siroy is the detective of the station. This is
my theory early on, is that they were calling out the nova all day
long and that it's good in here because it's a death leopard. Now in
other news. No, no, no, no, no, you need
to sit and soak that in for a little while. Everybody be quiet.
Let Kevin sit with what he just said. You need to go to time
out and think about what you said. Do you need to make a poo
poo? I do now? Nova, Nova? Do you need to make
a poo poo? Do you need to make a poo poo? I'm out
of love? You know what I'm saying. I can't hear. Okay,
okay, oldest animal at the Houston Zoo. Okay, now he is a
radiated tortoise and he Jack Hamberd misspickle like that. That's what the article says.
What it's said, Show me where it says Jack hammered. Why don't
have the article pulled up right now? He's kind of a beast. He's
ninety, she's fifty three. You couldn't get anybody younger and better looking.
How shocked is she though? Like she thought she was safe dating an old
man. She's like, I'm not gonna have any kids. I'm old,
i don't want any more kids. She's like, just like right, we
don't have to get a babysitter. Yeah, And all of a sudden,
she's preggers, probably not even have to worry about doing that anymore because of
reptile dysfunction and kind of so they so they had three kids. Now that
your best. Today's Manatee Appreciation Day. The manatee is the ugliest animal and
planet Earth. So I just want to get that out there, Hay.
So there was a manatee at the Dallas World Aquarium, right, and his
name was Hugh Okay. And he came up to the window and he smiled,
and this little four year old just put their hand up and they kind
of touched hands, and my faith in humanity had been restored. I appreciate
it all of my awards. You're not going to win awards for that.
I liked it. Kevin, Keep it up, keep up the good work.
That's how you save a performance review. You were spiraling to the pits
of hell, and you pulled it out with three dad jokes, all involving
wildlife because animals are funny. They are funny, and so are you.
Kevin Turner, You're doing great now filed the corporate Kevin going, you know
what, he's got something. Well, they might change their mind after this,
because it's not a good idea to get up and leave your microphone just
so you can do a bit Kevin Well, and don't forget the cartoon when
we were a kid. When I was a kid, Captain Caveman, he's
a spas. When he would go into crime fighting mode, he'd start spinning
around like a Tasmanian devil and he'd go Captain clave Man. Yeah, he
would announce his presence by screaming his own name. Right. I kind of
want to try this just to see though, hold on, can you'll give
me a second? Sure, take your time. I think he gets weird
as the week goes on. Earlier Weder he just said that, and then
he just laughed. Did you just fall asleep standing up? That's awesome,
okay, Evin to announce your presence with your own name, Are you okay?
Did you crash for like two seconds while you were walking? I've seen
it happening when you were standing up, though, It's like he got shot
in the side. That was what of y'all's first time seeing me stroke out?
Probably? Yeah, when you were standing up, I was nervous for
you. I thought you're gonna fall over and hit your head on the commode.
It is a funny bit to announce your presence by screaming out your own
name. Kevin, So, Kevin. One thing that does bode well for
you is you're an incredible game show host, and the amount of effort and
work you put into free Fall is extraordinary. I do think that we need
some better games for free Fall three, which will be coming up in February.
Let's listen. I had a game in my head cut hot Pursuit,
but we're not gonna do that. And that's where it's just a game of
tag that right time to go to break tag. Whoever's it at twenty six
call the hot person for the last hour twenty four minutes on the whole floor
or in studio, doesn't matter, whoever's it. I mean, if you're
it, doesn't matter. Just running through the Korean consolate like as many times
as you get hey, I'm connected there, I can get us in.
Oh my god, that's the best way to decide free Fall three. I
think you're Hot Pursuit. Yep, yep, yep. Let's see. Let's
go to this one. Whatever equity you built in the middle of this performance
review, I don't know how else to put this. Kevin please, please
try to do better next year. I think you and Mikey are the stars
here. Police got a call that there was a guy who had been captured
on surveillance cameras near a horse barn with his genitals exposed, standing on a
bucket. Thirty nine year old Jack Blank was standing near two horses and he's
out there punching the munchkin. What oh wait to himself? Yeah, is
that illegal? The horse is like, is that what you won'll be doing
when Jesus comes back? Would that okay? When Jesus comes back, of
all the debaucherous crap that goes on in this world at any given microsecond,
is that the last thing you'd want to be there. There's maybe a guy
on his computer, and there's a dude cheating on his wife in a hotel
room. But then he comes down to this this stable and sees Jack Blank
balancing himself with shake leg on a bucket. Well, fruit of the looms
at his angle. Yeah, well, Secretariat is his material name means no,
there's a there's a tear in his eyes. He's good God. I
think Jesus just floats back up in the sky and says, you know what,
I quit. Jesus glances at his phone and meanders back to heaven.
Not now, what a great story that was, Kevin. You're a good
reporter, so it's gonna work in your favor, and you came up with
this idea. And who doesn't love the downbeat singing pumpkin? Okay? What's
your favorite star Burst? Little Boy? You said green? There's no green?
Are you stupid? Boy? What's your favorite star Burst? Little Boy?
It does? It's mad? Yah? You don't get one because your
costume stinks? What's your costume? I guess I don't get the reference.
Bitch? What the hef? That's fun? Can you imagine the fun one?
If Bob Pittman, the CEO of iHeartRadio, it's like, you know
what, send me some air checks from that ninety seven to one the freak.
I want to see what those guys are up to. And they played
him the downbeat singing pumpkins songs? Would we still have jobs for the Christmas
tree toppers? Huh? I think I think our audience liked them. I
know I do too, But I don't think people that work above us really
know what we do or why we do it. And we don't always know
what we do or why we do it either. But let me say February
singing chocolate boxes. We'd older it's opening up. Open up your box of
chocolate and it sings to you. Yeah, whenever you remove a piece of
candy from the heart shaped box, you get a little song. There's twelve
songs in there. Oh my God, coming to Valentine's Day near you hopefully.
Uh, I've already got one written. It's called eat me, you
fat slut. I guess, I guess I have to eat it now.
I mean the box said, so it's slow. You got chewing up.
You're still gotta think of peeling it, little h fats this piece of chocolate
called me. Oh man, oh boy, well I'm ready for that two
much from today, February fourteenth, Get ready. We need to get those
created and ordered so we get them in stores. Absolutely. The price point
will be much lower than the tree topper though. I agree. Yeah,
we're not going to break the bank. It's just pieces of chocolate. It's
not even the best luxury chocolate either. This segment was brought to you by
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