For the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world. This is
the many bed stilt Corn is alive and kicking comun over here. I'll hit
but your ass a couple of times. You you know what I'm saying.
This brother up breaking on the forty yard. This brother, come on ship
Ben. I hope I didn't kiss off. Jesus you call that a penalty's
number one? That was number one. It's the La clippers boot. Shut
up. You're just taking it for a people. I would get it pregnant.
They just called in and hangs up. Your mother fucker that can kiss
me off? All right? Are you in the shower now? Totally in
the show. He's not a coach, can give me James stupid, You're
a super idiot for get so fu up tight over clearly when we shut y'all,
we're coming, got it? Hi, everybody, Welcome to Punch Drunk.
This is our famous Casper episode. He's been begging us to do the
goddamn draft live, and we're doing it. Sam isn't here because he's in
a meeting right now and then he's going to join but he is drafting,
but he'll join in in about a half hour once draft starts. Now,
we were supposed to do an auction and seam through a fit fit. I
don't want to. I don't want to do it. I'm gonna just not
be in a league. What's a point and having a punch drink league.
If I can punch dunk's not even gonna be in it because you have to
have it your way. So fine, we're doing a snake draft for Sam.
But let me tell it wasn't even a fit by the way. He
was just so passive aggressive about it. He was like, are you good?
When's the fantasy draft? And I told him he should have told us
because we could have rescheduled so he could have been here instead of in his
meeting. But I told him several times and then he goes, are we
doing the same kind of draft as last year? And I was like,
yeah, everybody really liked it. He goes, oh, yeah, I'm
probably just gonna do another league this year. Now he was late, and
then he showed up and he didn't even know what kind of draft we were
doing. So it was a bit on him to just show up and think
he can just click the next available player. Now I had the comedy store
within the drafts one minute comedy store draft in uh was today as well?
How'd I go? It was great? It was good. Now my favorite
way to draft is everybody falls out right, just out through the pouch kind.
Everybody's there together. You got the big sticker thing. You're not just
looking at a list, and it just automatically crosses it off for you.
Everybody together. You have food, you have beers, you you know,
and you got the stick dream is not in here. I'm gonna text curream
really quickly, go for it. Go for it. Then you got stickers.
And now same hasn't been in the Comedy store League about four years or
so, but every year this Sam had the same move. He never knew
he was gonna pick. He doesn't know shit. So he would go up
and he would get grab all the stickers, all the running backs, the
five pages of running back stickers, and he would just keep saying, where
is my guy? I can't find my guy, and he would look through
all the stickers. Now that what he's really doing is trying to find a
name that sparks him up. That's a guy right there. He look going
up there with knowing his pick and we're about the draft about to start with
five seconds away. Who has first pick? By the way, that Champa
Bay of course. Okay, so that guy's had so much luck in this
league. I felt like he's had the first pick every other year. Who
did he take? He's had, he's had the he's had the first pick
about as often as we've done this draft special. Who did he take?
Let's see, I'm going be Jean Robinson first pick? Are you really?
I already did? It's done? Deal done? Wow? Who did a
Ligny stick? Hold on? I gotta expand it here? I had you
covering it up to wait, who's that? Oh he took McCaffrey. Oh,
McCaffrey. See his injuries worry me. So Sam would go up there
and he go, who's Where's who's my guy? Gosh? Where I can't
find? And he would look and there's like a three minute limit. I'm
not shipping at five six minutes. He's up there looking for his ship,
and everyone starts screaming at him, yelling at him, yelling at him.
Then he puts down the five things of running backs and grabs the six pages
of receivers, and we're like, you don't even know what position you're drafting.
Where's my guy? And it's so funny because people spend so much time
thinking about fantasy you know, researching rafts and magazines. Well, magazines aren't
as much as a Do you think he even read an article about fantasy football
at all? Not unless it was some sort of spinoff article to NBA,
like, you won't believe this, This is this is Sam's research. He
saw an article that said, you won't believe he just went James. He
just went to auto pick. He just went to auto pick. It auto
picked, and it picked Eckler, who I was gonna take Sam. Yeah,
yeah, so he's actually not even draft right. Well he joined right
after that and then put it on an auto pick. But that's why you
want to do this, because auto pick is generally gonna be the smartest thing
to do. Well, no, he's back off. He is on auto
pick. Wow, yeah, okay, so he yeah, but it prevents
you, you know, my my one of my seventy year old so annoying,
one of my seventy year old lesbian mothers. And who's beer money?
Beer Money's on autopick? Who is that? Sorry? I'm set me her
a fantasy team. Hey, look at his team. I go, fuck
you hat a fucking good good draft? By where to go? I had
the computer just did the whole fucking thing for me. We didn't really know
who is Daniel Raum. Somebody's auto picking. Yeah, he's the one guy
that's auto picking other than the one we know. You know why, Well,
maybe as obligations people do I undertand people telling us. We asked everybody.
You know, everybody's knowing what this draft date was for a month.
We could have moved it. We would have moved it. We've moved it
a half hour to accommodate Sam, who then had a meeting at that exact
time. But that's where that's where he gets you, accommodates you by being
able to slide into the fucking auto pick. But that's the only article he
ever read I would imagine about fantasy. Hey, you won't believe what Lebron
James Fantasy Football's first pick was. These are the fucking Lebron. I gotta
the best basketball players in the NFL today. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. That's sad Sam gets in the NFL that way. You won't
believe that this wide receiver can do a three sixty dunk. Oh shit,
I had to take Tyreek Hill. I've got him in all three leagues.
I mean, I just got him in. He was my first pick in
the Comedy Store league. But I like him. I like him, but
I just don't like having the same guy a cross three leagues because I feel
like if he gets hurt or something, I'm sunk in every league. Well
I had. It doesn't get easier to root for a team six pick at
the Commies. That's what I have here. I look at the and it's
a snake draft, and I look at the thing. Who's got pick number
five? Tianna, And I go, well, there goes Bijean Robinson.
Sure as shit, that was her first pick. Then she texts me,
were you gonna take him with pick six? I go, fuck, yes,
I was, absolutely I was. And I saw your fucking tits right
in front of me, and I go, god, damn it. There
that goes. I've been fucking sick, Johnny. I thought I had fucking
COVID or something. Oh my girl, my girl just got it today.
She just test deposit. We're in Carolina. Oh wow, that's that's probably
nothing up there. That's probably fine, that's probably still the first wave of
COVID's worry about her her flying. You know, we're gonna have to fly
back when you when do you fly back to be Saturday, but she's gonna
might be in the middle of it. I don't. I mean, I
feel like you fly. You got two seats now, you know you can
fuck real relax, polish. I don't want Cowboy, but I feel like,
I mean, he's the obvious guy to take care of Tony Pollard.
I'm taking I just don't don't love him either. Here this is interesting.
This is from Dove Climb and he just tweeted this. The NFL journalist he
says. According to ESPN, Broncos coach Sean Payton told Russell Wilson that to
salvage his career he needed to focus on less. Quote Russell inc. Will
you stop effing stop? Will you stop kissing all the babies? Peyton said,
you're not running for public office though. That was interesting, so he
really got into Russell Wilson. I bet it, I bet it helps.
That's Russell Wilson needed to hear some home truth. You know, I guess
I'm on the Garrett Wilson trained again. I got this guy in a lot
of leagues. I got a lot of Jets this year. And it's the
Jets because I believe they just fall into your lap and you go, yeah,
they have a lot of guys. I've felt the same way about drafts,
Like they keep coming up in drafts and I'm like, oh, am,
I gonna take Garrett Wilson And here comes old to Begain. She's packing
it back around. You know what, let's get fucking funk you with it.
Are you gonna take Cooper Cup here? No, I'm worried injury.
Yeah, I'm worried about him too. I have him my own league.
I'm kind of worried. I'm gonna go super funky. Go Patrick Mahomes right
here. Oh, I like it. I never had. I mean,
it's a long time until I pick again. And this might be the first
time in my life I've read Patrick Mahomes. I think I had him last
year and he kind of screwed me out a little bit. How he had
like sixty touchdowns. Ah No, it was maybe two years. One of
the years where he kind of he missed a week or something and it really
messed me up for the playoffs. I can't remember. It might have been
two years ago. All right, she's face mart that's still same, dude.
I think I'm gonna take cup Man even with the injury thing. I
mean, it's such he's a first round pick. If he's healthy, he's
five pick. Yeah, if he's healthy. So I'm just gonna take the
risk here. I got him in another league. Sometimes you have to say
what I played like? I played golf today. I played like shit,
Johnnie, Yeah, a little, a little sick. What did you shoot
again? What was it? Ninety four? Those today? There's a scorecard
I showed you was from that. Oh oh okay, it must have been.
I was flying. I didn't notice until today. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, that was Monday. My dad just played animals. But yeah,
and a fucking crazy heat wave. It was like ninety three, but it
was like ninety percent humidity. It was like playing in a fucking women convection
of it. I mean, the heat was just coming from down and top.
I know exactly what you mean. It's that feeling of like sometimes when
it's hot and the wind blows, it cools you off, and then sometimes
the wind blows and it's just like hotter somehow it was that kind of day.
Yeah, exactly, there was. That's like the desert heat. You
know, the humidity can be one thing, but then when you get the
desert heat. We were the Vegas heat where it's like one hundred fifteen,
you know, and then the wimbows and you just like burn. Yeah,
Vegas heat is something to Are you going to skank Fest? No, no,
we're not. I think sam is sure, Sammy is? I mean
I don't think he weren't. Yeah, yeah, he's he wasn't gonna go
and then he is. Now I can't remember something like that. Uh okay,
boy, I'm getting the same I'm gonna have the same team and then
like three different laies because I'm about to take Stevens. And again Romandre Stevens
has happening. It's so funny. They just keep coming to me, these
guys. I like him too, Romandre Stevens. I feel like he's kind
of slept on because he was so good last year. Well you know,
it's just it's just the whole. If he wasn't New England, you know,
it would he'd be a no brainer. Like second round guy. I
think, gosh, the guy when it is gone makes me nervous that New
England picked up God, I was Who's that is that? Brenton biddlecum Calvin?
Really? Yeah, he took Calvin. Really, that was my next
fucking kick. That's the first time that's happened to me. Well, I
don't believe in boy, this is a real party we got going on over
here. I can't believe Sam Auto drafted. I mean, I could have
had Eckler. If he hadn't, he was gonna pick somebody else. Oh,
I did it again, and I'm back on the Breeze Hall. I
got Breeze Hall, and uh, they have so many running backs. Breeze
Hall looked great though in those in the on He's such a good player.
But you've got some of those other guys they have, maybe not Carter so
much, but definitely definitely Cook. Right, he's going too. Now,
let's see Burrow Cooper are the default top three guys in Watson, you got
Hopkins, you could take interesting. This draft is fine. By the time
Sam gets here, it's gonna be over. I think that's his total game
plan. You took Mary Cooper. I like that. Yeah, you know,
I haven't really been paying attention written It took Joe burrow By Weeks Justin
Fields just went off the board. That's curious. I don't know about that.
Curious. A lot of people are staying away from DeAndre Hopkins. What
do you think about DeAndre Hopkins, Johnny, I'd like to see him play
there first, you know what I mean. It's always like, let's see
how it works out the team chemistry and everything, And I mean, is
he old finally? Guys been hurt a lot, Yeah, you know as
soon as those were Man, it's over a lot. A lot of question
marks with that motherfucker. Sam's on a clock here. Let's see how long
it takes for him to make a pick. He's got twenty seconds left.
He's got an auto pick either. No, he's not. He came back
somehow because you probably busted his balls about it. Yeah, I sent him
a text. You saw it, Yeah, on our three. Yeah,
but he's still going down is five four? Did he what he does?
He's so windocids if you got to pick him in one second? Did he
go? He did? He got? Oh, he was searching for Waller
probably probably. Yeah. See my my system wants me to take DJ Moore
here. Oh, I like DJ Moore I haven't got him in the league
yet. I just don't trust the guy throwing him the ball could take Miles
Sanders. He's also highly rated by my formula. Uh let's see my formula
calculations Getty Formula Vintage Football. Uh, let me see. Damn it really
likes DJ Moore. Huh oh, I feel like Chicken tonight, Like Chicken
tonight, I'm gonna take Miles Sanders him another leage. I want him again.
Give me Miles Sanders right now done. Another guy like is Jerry Judy.
I don't want to do too much table talk here, but someone's got
to catch those balls from fucking Sean Payton. And I don't even call in
quarterback. I didn't even call Russell Wilson in a quarterback of Denver. Yet
I now call our quarterback Sean Payton because it's updated him to straighten that fucking
shit out there. What do you need to know? How do you feel
about do you think Russell Wilson has another round in him? It's yes or
no, we found out this year, or it's gonna be like it's either
oh wow, he was in a terrible situation and pits just went off the
boardom I was just gonna he just put him in my queue. Who took
out pits? Probably Allegny because that's a Charros in charge. Whoever that is
charros in charge of our day? And did you just watch that? You
know you're two young charge. It was a consyndication when I was a kid.
But I know there was some hot pussy on that show really well,
Nicole, a young Nicole Eggert before she was on Baywatch. Yeah, I
didn't really watch baywatching you cuckoo for cocoa puffs, but she was hot on
Charles and Charts like I caught like late Baywatch after Pam Anderson was already off.
I was never end of the Baywatch thing. I'm either, I mean,
except for the obvious reason I would like flip through there and see it
sometimes wasn't on there toward the end. She was right, I think,
So you wouldn't say you were looking at hasshows dong, weren't you? You
got it, buddy, you got it? You know I was, And
I know I'm fucking we're waiting on Kareem to pick yet back to back picks.
That's always fun. I kind of like picking at the end of the
first round. Uh, because you get two picks right back to back.
Those advantages to every which way. Uh huh, totally yeah. But anyway,
so I like the I think the best way to draft is everybody gets
together in person. So hard to got drafts impossible to do. It's really
hard to coordinate. And the older you get in life and people that have
kids and people have families, and it gets really hard to do. But
that is the best drafting experience. The second one I think is an auction
draft. If you have to do it online. I think it's an auction
draft. It's fun, it's fair, and everybody it's not just left the
chance. You can't auto draft on that fucking right. I'm back up again.
DJ Moore still on the board. I think I'm gonna take him here.
I got him in my queue. Let's go with DJ Moore right now.
I think now is the time where I gotta strike. You gotta strike
now. You've been waiting to strike this whole time. See that's here waiting.
Well it is, but and especially too long to strike. Jason,
you should have struck in the first round. That's that's your mistake. I'll
give you that free advice. For next year. Well here then here comes
the big strike because it's is this strike one or strike two? Or did
you just strike out? Oh? I just said all run because they call
it American football. Yeah, you're stupid, idiot, So you gotta get
a kicker. If that's you got one guy that touches the ball with a
foot, you gotta get the fucking yellow legged death. You're stupid dummy,
young Way Coup. He just took coup. Stupid dummy. For those of
you who don't know football, young Way Cou is a kicker. Kicker until
the last two rounds. I would say, unless you got to lock in
your guy and you gotta strike bucking your guy. Yeah, dude, I
didn't want anybody else to get this fucking guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I mean I can understand why you didn't, But Johnny won't think there
was much risk of that. We're in three leagues together. You're you're the
guy that I'm in the most leagues with this year. Three leagues together.
Yeah, that's right. We're in this league. We're in the Flyer League
and they were in the Hillbelly League. Yeah. I might be in three
leagues with my buddy Jay Rogers too. I know he's in this one.
He's in the fly are in I'm in fourteen leagues. No, I'm in
four. I'm in four. I mean you're I'm in the flyover league as
you call it, my league, my buddy's league at home, I mean
your hillbilly goat fucking league, your guys is league at home, comedy store
and punch trunks. I'm in four. I am gonna take Justin Herbert right
here. I tried to do four leagues one time. Too difficult. It's
a lot, Yeah, it's too difficult. He Justin Herbert was a little
slow for me last year in one of my leagues. But I'm gonna take
him here. Let's see it. Let's see it. Justin's two schools of
thought. I still need a tight end in a flex Well, I got
my kicker. The tight end value though, Dude, tight ends value so
easy to get, especially like twelve. I mean there's fucking thirty two tight
ends. There's twelve starters in a fantasy league you can get if you don't
get who's like a Kelsey, which I mean, worry about him now with
a knaything who knows Kelsey Kittle? You know you're looking at Frews like Andrews
uh and then yeah, Hawkinstein or whatever. That Waller maybe he's okay Waller
Pitts. There's about eight and if you don't get one of those six five
or six? Wait wait on weight on tight Rand, Yeah, up on
the things guy? What's his name in Philly? Is he still there?
That guy's always around? Like late? What the hell's that guy's name of
Philly? You know I'm talking about he might No, no, no,
no, I ain't talking about yeah, white guy, yeah, white guy.
Yeah, always open. But you're like, how's this fucking guy always
so open? Uh? Oh he must have he must not be on the
team anymore. Where did you think he went to Arizona? Yeah? I
think you're right. I'm gonna get this guy getting to her name. God,
I gotta I'm not the same fucking team. No, No, that's
arts that went to Arizona. What what's the guy's name? I was thinking
of zach Ertz. Yeah, that's when I was thinking. What's the other
guy though? The guy that kind of replaced him in Philly? Oh?
Oh got it? Yeah Dallas guy, right, yeah, Dallas. Yeah,
it'd be good. He's still in Yeah, he said Taylor the ship
with Taylor? Do you did you even draft the guy for Indian Yeah?
I don't go. I don't know, man, I mean where do you
just let him, you know, be a free agent and when he signed
somewhere? Do you just hope you're the first guy to get him? Yeah?
I don't. I did change the waiver roles a little bit this year,
so it's easier for us to add guys. Oh, I'm on the
clock here, all right, he's got four weeks, right. I was
trying to get you talking during your pick, Johnny, tell me your biggest
fears in life? Nice? Try get me the show weakness. Uh?
Let me. I'm just gonna google some Uh let's see, what's some Jonathan
twenty five seconds? How much googling can you be doing? Oh I'm fast,
brother, I'm a fast googler, famously pretty fast Google advice on Jonathan
Taylor. Let's see, this is from Bleacher Reports, So some random assle
d M. What do we like here? I think I'm gonna go with
David Montgomers. I'm taking David Montgomery, the comedian from Austin. I like
Montgomery. Oh, look who it is? Sam Tripoli is joining us,
and then just a big F on the screen for some reason. What does
that mean? F six pm meeting host is connecting to audio. He's trying
to draft and join the zoom at the same time. That's what that's happening.
That's like landing a plane, which I'm positive I could do after watching
so many air disasters episodes. We like a airliner, like a proper Yeah,
any kind of any kind of any kind of airplane. No, you
couldn't. I mean those little proper planes. What we're going on? Man?
No, those things they almost land themselves. They almost land themselves.
There's too many buttons. You gotta put the flaps down, slats down.
Jonathan Taylor, Okay, somebody just took him any town. I couldn't land
an airplane better than anybody else on this show. Why am I on auto
pick? You know why you're on auto pick? I'm picking? Got some
bullshit? R You auto picked your first pick of the draft, picked your
first pick. Shut up. We've known what this date was for a full
month, and somehow you are off the first pick of the draft, and
we changed the rules of the draft just to get you to appear, and
you didn't even here first pick. I'm here. If you had done an
option draft like we wanted, you wouldn't have missed your first pick because it's
auction. I am here, I am here. You're here now, and
you're here now. Boom boom. No, guys, as you can see,
my name is, says six pm meeting host. That's my AA meeting
I was on. Yeah, well we knew what your six pm meeting is.
Always at six pm, always on Tuesday. So you could have told
us a month ago, and every day, every day that you could have
told us a month I missed one of the thick I just the first.
Yeah, so what I like the most important one? You like Austin or
you're gonna take him? The Chargers running okay? Yeah, yeah I was.
I was looking forward to taking him. I was like, this could
be great. What's your favorite what's your favorite trait of Austin? Next question,
It's just he's a He's put his nose to the ground and grind kind
of back to the ground. That's an creative running style. Yeah, just
goes to the work. Brom savorite running backs doing coke on the field,
just running on the down. That's the fifty yard line man. That's not
going to work a loan. Just do goes to work, Bro goes to
work. Britain is on the clock here, Bill's Mafia, Fantasy Genius,
Fantasy girl. That's far. I haven't really liked my team, and I
know it's just I have the same team as I haven't like three my two
other leagues. So that's gross, dude, Why would you do that?
I didn't do it a purpec. Those are the guys that came up ting
about the guild justin Kirk too. It was also on both of my other
teams. Imagine anyone giving a fuck. Well, that's what we're here to
talk about, Sam is fantasy football. If you didn't care about that,
maybe you should have bailed on this podcast years ago, because that's what we
talk about sports to Hey, bro, it is not to you not love
sports, Sam, I love sports. When you even fucking no, Bro,
how I just get the point where I'm just like, let them pick
for me. I don't even know half these people. Now you get to
that, dude, we were taught we had the Comedy Store draft this morning
or this afternoon, and uh Ingram and then and Tianna and everybody was talking
about how when you used to go to the board and you would just have
all the stickers and you would have all the running back stickers. You're like,
where's my guy? I can't where is he where? For like three
minutes, and then you would put those down and you would grab the receivers
and we're like, wait a minute, you were looking for a running back
for the last six minutes. Yeah, now you're starting over. You're gonna
miss me, bro, You're gonna miss were on the picks? What's that?
Was there a timer on the picks in that league? Or could you?
Yeah? Everyone's like, just try to get your pick in and under
fifteen minutes if you could, for the love of Christ, and no one
ever really did, for the love of God. Who's in that league?
Kindy shirt? Yeah? Uh Ingram Toby, he's good. Matt knows,
how is mad knows? He seems fine. Tiana me uh Ren is easy,
really, Hunter, Josh Martin Ren is easy. He dealed on our
fantasy league. The asshole. He doesn't seem good. Why he started one?
No, he started a league with his boys, and he's like,
I'm at my limited leagues, which I bet, I mean how many leagues
is too many? Sam? For you, we were just talking about this
for you, got on three three is too many? Or three is the
maximum? Three is the maximal. I agree with you. Four or more
is too many? Three is the maximal. Johnny's on the clock. Let's
see what he fucks up with here, Antonio Gibson, he's kind I like
the thing. At this point. I'm just staying here just so you guys
stopped. Did you see did you see you're doing the podcast so we won't
complain. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, basically, Oh that's great
that that makes us all feel. That's nice of you. No, I'm
not through the podcast. I'm staying in the fantasy. I'm I'm picking the
fantasy because so you guys stop fucking you guys, don't bitch. I'm on
all cruck because I'm just don't know who I'm picking at correct that might actually
draft better than auto correct. You're auto crack boom. You just start typing
a name and then it's like there we go, boom. Gosh. No,
I don't know. I know I actually have to christ you see that
the Redskins are or the commanders. Forgive me h The new owners are getting
a lot of crap for referring to them as the Redskins every now and then,
like people are losing by who I mean, you know, just by
by people nobody cares about of course. Yeah, but it's the the natives
like the team. Some of the natives do, and some of the natives
don't like anything, like anything of the Redskins. I will go just so
you know, redskin is not referenced to Native Americans. It's actually referenced to
Vikings and the red is their son. Tim Well, they say it's not
even that. They say it's an ancient root ceremony that the Indians did,
like with roots or something and put it on their skin. I don't know.
Yeah, and then they went to war. Who goods go your your
your mind correct. It just takes the thread from here and just connects it
over there. That's interesting, dude. There's so much I wanted to talk
about, but I can't remember any of it. Well, I know what
I want to talk about. What about the excitement of the Colorado Buffalos.
What a what a great game that was, dude. I love Dion.
This is the most Dion shit ever. It's it's just what he does.
A great way to kick off college football too, all of it. It's
great. Florida State back. I think that's great. I want all the
old classics to be back, you know, Florida Florida State back. Florida
State looked like Florida State. Yeah, it looked like the old Charlie Ward
days. Gimmicky fast break offense and the mean defense. That was a fun
game too. Florida State's gonna be good. But I think they're gonna be
Uh. It's just crazy to me that that Nebraska, that Clemson, these
guys don't have quarterbacks. It's just crazy to me. It just seems like
there's more and more great quarterbacks than ever. It's just I don't know,
man, I just think like it's just crazy out. Clemson just has fallen
off a cliff. It's just crazy to me. Look, tell me one
team, one team that has multiple starters in the NFL. There's only one.
Our team, Alabama, NC State. I think they have Russell Wilson
and uh yeah, but he wants to Wisconsin. That's where he got his
shine. Wait, I mean he was good, he was no, he
was great at NC State. He just transferred because they kind of pissed him
off. But who else do they have? Brisette, Jakobe process he's starting
rights? Is he not starting? Man? No? Now? Is it
so Sam how Is? They said that for Sam Howe's what starting for beyond
one D two hundred and fifty seven percent? One huh Because it's funny.
ESPN just predicted that he would be benched in favor of Jakobe percent by week
seven, So possibly in week seven you will see. But Alabama and Clemson
are the two teams that come to mind to have starter quarterbacks multiple Yeah,
I mean North Carolina next year is gonna because it's gonna be Sam how and
Drake May next year. Yeah, I mean that's just some crazy shit,
right. Oh, and I mean Trubisky if he ever gets luckys might dies
or has a stroke or something, you could play. So that would be
three North Carolina guys that are possible. So if somebody dies, yeah,
who else are? You're right? Yeah, it's not, there's no like.
So the whole point that Clemson kankie quarterbacks is nuts to me. It's
just nuts to me. Why wouldn't you want to go play with that guy?
Taking gay Davis here Gay Davis. Yeah, Gay Davis. Right,
that's right. Yeah, I can't believe you're taking Gay Davis. Oh,
you can't believe that he's taking Gay Davis. This guy, did you?
Girlfriend's got fucking she's pregnant, and he's gonna make her walk home. He's
not even gonna let in her fly because he's worried about that. Pretty pretty
cool. She has eights, she has eights. I'm afraid well, blown
aids. How many boosters did she get? Johnny everyone that was required by
her work? I can tell you that, which was a lot. Okay,
she probably she probably, I mean she she's probably had three shots maybe
something like that. She kind of realized that it was a racket. There
are really slim pickings here at the old auto. Dude, I have so
many, so badly, I have so many running backs. I'm the opposite.
I'm stack at receiver, but I got nothing here. Well, maybe
we can make a trade. We may have to, hear buddy, Why
don't you guys work it out? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, we come
on. We went different real quick. So the World Basket, the US
team lost, I think the Lithuania they got lit up on like rebounds.
So they got no rebounders. But my question is that I don't think why
why is Carl Anthony Towns on the the Dominican Republic, Like why is he
on our team? Like I don't understand that at all. I mean,
I think it's because he wasn't They didn't want him when he was choosing who
to represent. Well, I think that's just ridiculous. Why wouldn't you want
a guy who's got a finesse game which fits the international game. Yeah,
I mean those things just all get down to, like when the guys ready
to play international, but it also has to go down to Gilbert Arenas was
talking about this bro re surprisingly really good at analysis. Gilbert Arenas Like,
I didn't know he was that kind of guy, but I'd like this list.
Well, he's so smart, like like his show is really smart,
how let's put together, and he's all about chaos, like he had Patrick
Beverly and Sean mccant's screaming at each other. It's it's the most entertaining shit
ever. It's the most entertaining shit. But they were he was talking about
how like this team is heavy. I think Adidas, Like a lot of
the players are Adidas huh, right, isn't that crazy? Yeah, I
mean it is. Adidas has made a really hard, strong push, especially
at the amateur level, or you know, like before they get to college,
to kind of get Adidas on the illness teams. So I'm not surprised.
But how are we feeling about DJ Shark? He hasn't been shark,
DJ Shark. I got adam feeling that. I'll throw that right in your
face. Is that a feeling? Jersey you're wearing Johnny because I just he
just got the guy I wanted. I bought you. Even Jake Delone doesn't
still have a Jake Delone jersey. Well, I'm a loyal I will not
draft that guy. You fucking dude. He was my quarterback in high school.
Man, I love Jake Delane. What do you mean he was your
He was your guy got my team in high school and he was a good
player. He was our first real guy that like had a winning instinct.
I think right there, you know, Carry Collins could have been that guy,
but he was a drunk, so too bad. Hey hey, hey,
we resemble that statement. What I did that? I got you?
I got you, Faddy. I understand once I have four picks left.
Okay, baby, only four picks left. Man, this thing is flying
for me. I don't know, but you might have fight. Can I
leave? No, you can't leave. Why. I don't know anybody I'm
drafting right now? Any of these players drafting people? You don't know who
Kirk Cousins is or Daniel Jones. I don't want Kirk Cousin. He could
suck a fat one. You don't know who Darnell Except for basketball, this
is Sam in every draft. Yeah. I only do two lead two sports.
You don't do baseball? No, why would I know? You got
fantasy I don't know. I don't know. If you haven't, haven't if
you got fantasy baseball and fantasy basketball. So fantasy basketball and fantasy football is
the only thing you do. Yees? Yeah yeah, Yeah. How's data
doing? Dana's doing great? How was your birthday? Just text her with
her for a little bit on her birthday? Dude, big news. Mom
is finally coming out. Oh your mom's coming out. Yeah, it's a
tree. She's tren My mom came him out like fucking thirty years ago.
So welcome to the fucking family. Broye mom coming out. Diake it out.
My mom, my mom, My mom has not been in LA for
years, and oh she's coming out to La Los Angeles. You fucking fucks,
that's way less hotter. It's less hot please. Yeah. So she's
come out and we're very excited because the first time she could be able to
hear grandkids. Because she's afraid of everything, my mom refuses to leave the
house. There's nothing wrong with that, being a little afraid of everything.
I said, afraid of COVID, black people, Hispanics naturally, the hat
trick. I call that the hat trick. I'm gonna take. Daniel Jones
is my backup. And if she's afraid of COVID, Hispanics and fucking Mexican
food, you should be going the other way. Yeah, rude, rude,
Oh my god, that that noises me right, Fuck me, dude.
I feel like Oma has put some kibis if you count, like Kyler
Murray right and Murray Oh yeah right, Kyler Murray, Jane Hurts, Jail
and Baker Mayfield. So that's three starters. I didn't even count Jalen Hurts
because they he was at Alabama too. Yeah, I mean, but I
think it's fair to count both that's but either way, it's Murray and Mayfield
who's hanging on by his fingers. So, so we're listening to so we're
listening of Fox Sports Radio because I'm crazy like that, right, And they
were talking about the inner discussion at the fucking Rams is we're gonna be so
bad this year. They're purposely tanking it for the kid at USC and they
are a race to the bottom with with with the the the Arizona Cardinals.
Wouldn't that be great if that's going to be ended up? And wouldn't it
be great if he ended up in LA though? That would be fantastic.
Oh, that's what they want. That's what everybody wants, because they really
want is they got it. It would be even funnier for me personally if
they got the second pick and then they ended up having to take Drake may
and he ended up so funny. I would love that. I love that.
He's the best quarterback I've ever seen in person, for sure. Drake
may is like in college. Sorry, like and I saw Deshaun Watson in
college and at the time I thought he was the best quarterback I'd ever seen
in person. Actual, Yeah that too, that too, But I wasn't
speaking on that, but yes, but he's he's he's like to me.
You know, you hear all these weird comps for him, But to me,
he's like Eli Manning and what I didn't want to draft that guy?
What the fuck? May is like Eli Manning and that he can put the
ball when he was in college anywhere he wants to on the field, nobody's
dead, there's no receiver this album play. But he can run a little
bit. That's the big difference. I would say, let's am I gonna
take my kicker here? No, I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait to
take I'm just gonna be honest with you. I didn't take that, and
I want to fight with everybody. I think this is some bullshit. You're
gonna you didn't take what? What do you mean you took too long?
Is what you're saying to put in you. I'm sure, yeah, you're
right, Sam, I'm sure the computer just had a weird glitch that robbed
you. Doesn't like me? Was it was it Tim Apple? Maybe that
robbed you of your pick? Whoa bro wall wall wall? Not cool?
Why do you get three quarterbacks on this in this league? What do you
mean you have three quarterbacks? No, it says like roster limits two out
of three. Oh no, those are the maximum that you can get all
I'm right out the limit for running backs? You got six running backs?
Bro, you're not all right buddy? Wait, I mean we have three
that you can start. I have a flex. I got Miles Sanders and
flex, and then two starts and I need to back up for three.
Give them to me. That's some that's that's a little bit of bullshit.
Six five, I have six backs. It says in the bottom left dune
to dump baby farts, mump bump a bump a bump baby. I gotta
do it on my I gotta do it on my phone. And it's different.
Oh I'm sorry, Jays. Whatever, Bro, dude, I'm gonna
go to two class. I'm going to wrestle my nights. Yeah. Really,
still time is a class, Dude. If I get I have,
if I get one more stripe, I get to go to fundamentals class.
I mean I get it to go to use. I'm so excited where I
get choked up by young guys who've been doing it for fucking ever. I
guess who's about to get the Jets defense, Give me some sacks. That's
aggressive, baby whoa aggressive? So so aggressive? So aggressive? So so
aggressive? Baby farst bump bump, big scare for the Chiefs on with Kelsey,
seems like he's okay. Man, can you imagine if he if that
need keeps him out any any amount of times? So they're having problems,
dude, So aren't the fucking right? I mean, dude, I do
not see the coach of the Raiders, what's his face making it out of
this season? He seems like a piece of shit. I saw that their
defensive end was ripping Jones. Yeah, ripping the team. I mean this
guy, nobody likes him. Tough week for your teams, I know with
Urias kidding, uh going going back in the Josh mc daniels can suck a
fat one orders. Why this game is nuts? This baseball game, by
the way, this Cub's Jackets game is insane. What's the score? It's
now seven six Cubs. Okay, it was four to three when we started
this podcast. Cubs were losing, then it was six four Cubs were live,
and now it's seven six. Cubs have won like fifteen of the last
seventeen games. Can you fucking believe this year? That's gone too, that's
gone. That's three run dollar right there? Would you just say three run
dollar? This game's over. This game's over, now, make that fucking
whenever it's sixteen in their last eighteen Did you guys see the Instagram thing that
he posted the guy for the Raiders Jones? He goes, fuck it,
I don't want to play for the Raiders if that's my head coach or GM.
I want Patrick Graham Ivy League, and then he says the N word.
Uh. Can you imagine being a which which one? Which inWORD?
Yeah? Well Graham, they're you know, they're defensive coordinator, that guy,
oh that one. But imagine being a guy who's in the second year
of a fifty one million dollar free agent contract that you signed and losing your
mind on the people who are paying you, essentially on social media. You
guys, watch a Yeah I haven't started the second one yet. How so
good already? It makes you makes you kind of pissed at Magic a little
better, makes a little bit. Yeah, that's what That's why I just
thought of that, because of Jones kind of why would it make you,
well, I've only gotten taps. So we're at the part now where Magic
demands a trade if they don't fire west Head. Okay, And it makes
him seem kind of like a child for that a little bit. I mean,
really, he's a modern athlete. It's like Lebron James before. Right.
Yeah, he was definitely the beginning of it. Yeah, and Kareem's
always just seems above it, you know, kind of smarter than everybody.
He realized when like when Magic gets that lifetime contract, you know, twenty
five mil, twenty five years, He's like, oh, I see what
you did. You just gave him what's gonna be an average salary in like
five years, and in ten years, it's gonna be a total rip off.
That's what the Braves have done. Their whole team has signed for five
to ten years and it's already a value. Ronald Kuon is making like mid
tier salary for being the best player in baseball and he signed for another seven
years. Yeah there, dude, he's he's gotta be like, what the
fuck? Bro? He doesn't care that. These Latin guys don't care,
man, They're just they won't take. Yeah, you gotta get those guys.
That's why, you know, if I was a scout of any sport,
I'm going deep in into fucking like rainforests a fucking Peru, and shit,
I'm looking for people that are like, dude, I just saw you
tackle a fucking bore and take it down with your bare hands. How would
you like fifty apples to come to America and play in the NFL? Fifty
apples, he says, you, Gosh, I would do that for anything,
sir. Well, come on, I mean I would just if I
was scouting, I wouldn't even be looking at the sports. I would go
where these people are. Fucking so fucked guy tried to slice the head off
the mascot. But other than that, he's a great ballplayer. You know,
he just gets a little his wild instincts come out every now and then.
But yeah, the guy you're fucking catchers over there eating his shoe,
what the fuck's going and go? Hey man, wait till you see this
guy swinging a bat and at a bargain basement price. Mind you you want
some of that play in the I'm telling you the NBA's five years away from
one hundred million dollars a year player. I'm telling you sure, sure,
all right, guys, I gotta go, what are you doing? Well,
you haven't even been here thirty minutes? What are we doing regular episodes?
Are you serious? Yeah? This is typical Samper. I mean he
pops in during a fantasy draft to talk fantasy football draft, talk a little
quick NBA bitch about the draft, and then he's out. Did you see
this Travis Hunter kid for Colorado? Yeah? Yeah, I watched that game.
Yeah, one hundred and ten snaps in one hundred degree heat, an
interception, three pass breaks, up breakups like five tackles, and eleven catches
for one hundred and twenty yards, and he dropped a fifty yard touchdown that
just bounced on the ground. When he landed on the ground, the ball
kind of jostled. He could have two hundred yards and a touchdown. Colorado
just seems cool. Now that's a weird thing about because Colorado was not.
Yeah, you were texting me during the game. I've forgot that. We
watched it. Dion just makes makes all that gear and stuff. It just
looks cool. Now, you got to say he did it even if he's
already matched their wind total last year and everybody was saying he couldn't do it.
Everybody's saying, is no way you can get rid of an entire football
program. Bring in sixty five news scholarship players only return three starters? Is
that number? One? Sixty five? Is that the number? Really something
like that? Look it up? Look it up. It's something. It's
above fifty. But I believe it was an NCAA record only returning three starters.
Well, you literally couldn't have done it, like what five years ago.
I mean now without the portal, you couldn't have done it at all.
It's it's a five year fun team has eighty six new players from all
over. That's not just scholarship players, but total, eighty six new players.
Eighty six new players. I don't know if about scholars but eighty six
totals. Because it's insane, that's unheard, and it's all because of I
mean, no other coach could have done that in football. It's maybe maybe
if Saban was like I don't want to be in Alabama, I want to
go to Kent Stake or something, maybe he could have I don't know.
Did you listen to his speeches? You listen to him publicly speak, you
listen to him talk to these kids it's a it's inspiring, Like I get
fucking little juice stuff. Imagine if Don was your neighbor and he's mowing his
lawn. You're mowing your lawn and you stop, you go, hey mon,
and how's it going, And then he just gives you one of his
speeches and you go, fucking I'm gonna kick today's ass. Just from talking
to my fucking neighbor with eight toes, I did text you. It kind
of breaks my heart to see him limping around the sidelines. So the guy
who's the the most ballerina like NFL player we've ever had, I mean,
just bletic, the way you've been lightning lightning and shoes, he was.
He was just just light on his feet. I mean, the lightest guy
on his feet and ever in NFL history. Probably the way he would dance
and move in and out. Well, his feet are lighter now that I
dude almost lost his fucking They were talking about having to take his whole fucking
foot. Yeah, they took like a chunk of his calf out, and
then a few of his toes then too, like an unseparate operation. Just
yep, I mean, I guess it's blood clots. I don't know.
I mean, black is biggest, are more susceptible to clotting than than white
people, the non non blacks. I don't know what the I do believe
that is true. I was going to accuse you of being racist right there.
No. I read a story about it in one of the things that's
right, like ESPN or something, saying that it's kind of shining a light
on the the black proclivity for clotting and sickle cell as well. I think,
yeah, yeah, it's only African American specific when I think all Africans
maybe, but I know African American for sure. I don't know if that's
no. I think you're right. African African thing, yeah, African,
Cambodian, you know, African England, England or English? What do they
call them another place? That's black people? In other places just black.
I can't just call them black, probably African Canadians. I wonder why they
got to specify. I means you're here, you're black. I can't just
be I don't say white American, I don't say that Caucasian American. You
know what it is, I mean, you know, it really is.
It's that they wanted a name that wasn't the name they were being called.
Everybody gets one, you know, who's got a beef in this country?
Native Americans? Yeah, I guess that's right. I mean yeah, because
every every it was like, well white, and then we had a bad
name for every other person and they were our fault. It's our fault.
We've done this again, We've done It's interesting though, because like if you
look at newspapers and stuff, they still use the term black. We were
always told never to use African American. That's not the style. The style
is still to say black. But in in more, what would you say,
like behavioral sciences circles and you know, humanity circles, they still say
African American. But I just don't say anything. I just I don't say
anything anymore. Yeah, why would you talk to him? Oh I'm sorry,
I was confused. No, I mean I don't. I just don't
even say why. I just don't. It's just there. Pointing is so
bad now and you can't say or do anything. I just go on.
So if you guys, so, let's say you're walking down the street and
describe this guy. I go new he's a man and he had a red
shirt on. The guy came up to you with a gun. He up
ahead, took your wallet. Yep, you're in the face pissed on.
You ran off and you know you had your mouth up and like drinking it
and you're really loving it taking it all down yeah. Later and they're like,
listen, looks like you had a real party here on the sidewalk.
Who did it? Describe? Describe the guy? Describe the guy? I
go, first off, man, uh, red shirt, delicious piss.
Hey, if you find a guy, if you want me to just knock
down like six or seven different pisses, I will remember. What would you
say, like any any identifying features of maybe his his body, his skin,
even I don't know about six foot one. Okay, curly hair.
Not quite what I asked, but okay, the hair does come out of
the skin. That's interesting, curly hair. Monster dick. Oh, oh,
I got it. Okay, we're good. We got you what I
mean. And I got out of that without even having to say anything.
Smart smart, But but you know, if I go, oh he was
a black, oh, you know you're being racist. He said he had
a delicious piss, so you got to start. He just let them narrow
themselves down. You know, it's like I put, I'll talk you into
a corner, and then I hand you a paint brush. Sam says he's
too tired. I'm sorry. I would love to do it another day.
He would not love it to do another day. We've asked him for fucking
five days to do a fucking podcast and he's always said he can't. He's
doing too many. He thought about quitting something, but he's he's doing too
and he's got like eight legitimately eight podcasts. Well I think that he's oh,
but quit this one. Have we everybody's quit this? We are the
only ones left. Yeah, it's why why did you go back to Carolina?
Are you out there? It was just day. We had a week
off, so I or you know, a few days off, and Danielle
wanted to go back because we, uh, we have a new dog here,
a little puppy that she wanted to see and stuff. So and she
got COVID, like literally the second day we were here, she popped for
COVID. She really, she's not too bad. It's just the cold sent
on a little achy. But it's just started today. We just found out
today. So I don't know where it goes from here? Does she feel
did she feel good enough to suck some dick still? Or is she?
No? Not quite unfortunately, Yeah, you gotta get her. I've tried.
I've tried. Maybe I'll give it. Should I give it a crack?
See if I could fucking uh? Will it reach from Indianna? Maybe?
Maybe? I mean, just oh yeah, speaking of that, that
just maybe we could just all line up. You know how they did that
thing? Uh? I don't know why you went in receiver gloves. Wait,
that's a murder glove. I was maybe we could all remember they did
hands across America in the seven Yes, I participated we could all just line
up and and and bring your your wiener over to North Carolina, just passing
on like a giant sub sub sandwich. Was that not in the seventies?
I thought that was in like Madmen and like the sixties or whatever. Remember
in Madmen they talked about hands across America. That might have been something different,
But now that wasn't like that was like we are the world time.
That was like eighties, Oh the eighties? Okay, did you really do
that? So can you explain to me? So what everybody just goes outside
and the hold hands. What's the deal with that? Yep? And it
started on one part and then it just went all the way across. I
don't know if they ever made it, but I do have a very famous
and not famous, but famous in my community because I think it was the
community of people that were early survivors of AIDS. Is that what this is?
That's exactly what it is. That I was holding hands with my dog
at the times like this big Wiener dog is a very funny photo. He's
a Wiener dog that's big, or he's a dog with a big Wiener.
We got to clarify here, it's important. M He didn't have a big
Wiener that I remember, but he was like a big, long, hot
dog dog. But I do remember that there would be very long stretches of
like places remote places like desert or fucking going through the woods and ship you
know where they would have they cheated and they would have these big, long
like ropes. And that's what it says. Here's a person. It says.
Hands Across America was a public fundraising event held on Sunday, May twenty
fifth, nineteen eighty six. So okay, you tiny, little fella.
I was thirty. I was I was months old when five to six point
five million people held hands for fifteen minutes in an attempt to form a continuous
human chain across the contiguous United States. The attempt to have a complete line
of people across the country failed, although the number of participants would have been
sufficient to succeed if they had been spread out over the full length of the
planned course. The various gaps in the line between participants were filled using ribbons,
rope, or banners. Many participants donated ten dollars each to reserve their
place in line. The proceeds were donated to local charities to fight hunger and
homelessness and help those in poverty. So who's screwed up here? It seems
like a bunch of celebrities were involved, including Chewbacca, the Wookie, Michael
J. Fox, David Copperfield, Michael Jackson. Maybe David Copperfield made a
bunch of disappear could have been. I saw him in Vegas, by the
way, and it was the laziest show. I mean, he was so
clearly just going through the motions at this point. He would you could tell
he'd just memorize the whole thing's like and next I'm gonna walk over here at
the stage and I'm gonna do this thing and pull this out of here and
then then disappear and whammy, and here we're gonna go to take me back
to nineteen eight. I mean, just flying through it as fast as he
possibly could, NonStop like that. That's gotta be because you think, oh,
man, if I could get a residency in Vegas, you live in
one place, you work every fucking oh, it would be great, you
know. Five and and I bet you just want to There's a great joke
on The Simpsons where they go to like this amusement park and the adults at
the amusement park go to this like adult themed thing at like fucking whatever land
they were at Itchen Scratchy World or whatever. Fuck. And Marge and Home
are going in this place, this restaurant where it's New Year's Eve every hour
on the hour, and they're dancing and they're everyone's drinking champagne and they're dancing.
They go three, two, one, Happy New Year. Everyone's going
Happy New Year. And the waiter comes behind he just looks dejected, and
Marche goes, oh, it must be so nice having New Year's Eve every
hour, every time you go to work, and he goes, somebody killed
me. He does this guy does fifteen shows per week, six six nights
per week. He has a show fifteen shows a week. But once it's
on autopilot. Oh, he is on autopilot. Let me tell you.
I mean he's got a Once he's on autopilot, it reminds me of that
Hicks joke where he gets on stage and he's probably working five hours a day.
Yeah, yeah, probably that's right. It reminds me of that Hicks
show where he gets on stage. He goes, let me plow through this
ship one more time. And that's the exact energy that David Copperfield has when
he takes the stage and David Copperfield Theater. My favorite story. There's a
story about him. He got mugged one time and he did an illusion to
make the abert think that he didn't have any money in his wallet when it's
actually carrying like thousands of dollars. He did some kind of sleight of hand
thing that like flipped the wallet inside out. I made it look like he
didn't have any money, like cool man. That's a real practical use for
magic. I mean, if you're going to be a magician, you might
as well use that shit on to save the day. Did you like doing
Did you try magic when youre a kid? I always like to try that.
I only had I had one go to trick right, make my dick
disappear. I didn't. There were guys who were way more into it.
But I always have found it interesting, Like I like to watch people do
shit. I feel like everybody who has any interesting comedy also had some kind
of or most people as some passing at least interest in magic. There's a
lot of because it's set up, it's misdirection, and it's all stand up
really is is hey, look over here, and then you get them from
the other side where they didn't see it coming. So I think a lot
of comics have a mind to deconstruct things like that and I go, okay,
I see what you're trying to show me here, What do you really
not? You know what I mean? You kind of what reverse engineering jokes
is very easy for comics to do. Like someone will set something up,
I go, I know where this to go, and I'll laugh at you.
Know. That's why I always say this is a comedian laughing, that's
funny, that's fucking I was fucking it's so funny. You say that,
because I get I get craped for that. They That's one of the things
I say. I say all the time on tinfoil or broken simulation. I
say, oh, that's so funny, and they hate And I do mean
it like that, Yeah, I do too, but I just doesn't.
But you really got to surprise me to make me laugh like really hard,
or it's got to be something that's really just like working. It's because the
years being around you guys just kind of like blowing my over ring, you
know what I mean. Yeah, that's good, that is funny, you
know yeah, And it was the best. Really, the best thing I
could say is that I'm almost jealous of that, you know what I mean,
Like that's I feel like that's almost the best thing I could say about.
Like I get that feeling sometimes like oh, oh this is a comic
laughing really hard at another comic. God damn, this's fuck good, God
damn it. Fuck. That's like the best compliment is Fuck, that's fucking
funny, you know what I mean. You just be like in the bucket
tea to the back of the store and someone will have a fucking really and
you'll see everybody lean back like fun, Okay, fuck, that's great,
fucking good. I'm trying to find out why this hands across America thing failed,
and it's just let's see, Well, can you first of all,
imagine this That thing was put together fifteen years before the Internet existed. Yeah,
they could have done it with the internet probably, So you're trying to
put together a big thing with like newspaper and radio announcements and shit. You
know. Yeah, in order to allow the maximum number of people to participate,
The path linked major cities and meandered back and forth within the cities.
There were sections of sections of the line would like six to ten people deep
in the line. So I guess ours was just people keep spread even had
we were at this part where they had like ribbons and ship Yeah, because
you're you're where where where were you? Then? Right freeway running right towards
Chicago going and right out of the city running right towards it. Okay,
So how did you I mean, like on the freeway, how'd you get
there? Like? How did you know where to go? Is did someone
like say, okay, now you gotta go to like mile mark or three
or whatever. Yeah, everybody would just be like every it was just like
whatever. So you had like it was like a freeway, just walk to
an empty spot. No, there was like a freeway that ran right through.
So you would just go to the point where you're where you live though,
How did you end up? Yeah, it's pretty close, probably fifteen
minute drive maybe to where the closest place was where you could get into the
line. You would see pictures. You would see pictures of h I mean,
it was like a to do something to do. You know, you're
fourteen, and every fucking junior high school kids like, oh, I'm gonna
go pok. You know, I mean, everybody in the whole fucking town's
doing it. But you would still you would see pictures in the paper of
like yeah, like you're saying, like across the Golden Gate Bridge there's like
one hundred and fifty thousand people. I go, why was there one guy
forty yards away from me holding a string with me? And there's a fucking
half of San Francisco's on one bridge. That's funny, you know what I
mean, Like spread it out a little bit. If it was just person,
the person, the person the person. You probably could have everyone could
have just held hands. Oh, Jeanie Dust and Jay Moore finally got married.
Huh. I saw that, this lucky prick, you know, and
I just saw her being interviewed. They were interviewing her about she might be
the number one mills of mills because of the money, right, I mean,
she looks good, but the money is he looks good, but yeah,
the money and just to be able to fucking ball like that, I
mean to be able to fucking be Oh yeah, ethnically, you know,
married into the Laker dynasty. Dude, how what does she got she's got
to be. I think she's sixty. Bro, Let's see if she's in
the sixties, she's the hot at sixty one. Yeah, she's hot at
fuck then okay, I'm gonna say it. Yeah if she was, if
she was if she was forty five, you're like, she looks pretty fucking
good. She slimmed too, she's slimmering I thought she was. Yes,
she looks great, she looks good. Good for both of them, I
guess. So she's what twelve years older than me? Eleven years old than
me? Can you miss you? You missed your shot, brother, you
should have left La could have been you. O God, can you imagine?
Oh she's sweet. She's instagram something from Winning Time. Let me see
what that is. Well, they didn't interview with her about it, and
she had a very honest answer about it, and that led me down a
little rabbit hole of hers. So then she well, all the stuff in
her is apparently fantasy, like she had nothing to do with the Lakers during
this period. Let me see. She said that they on Winning Time,
they had the thing that she finds mostness down. She goes, it's very
accurate. Actually, a lot of it is extremely accurate. A lot of
it is you know, gussied up for you know, story, you know,
for her dialogue and story and that kind of ship. This is what
she said on Winning like this is when kind of when doctor Buss and I
call him Doctor Buss, when Doctor Buss and Magic kind of team, you
know, agree to kind of cooperate, you know, in the future.
And she goes, it's clear my thoughts on the show. To see the
real story, watch the Lakers docuseriies coming to Hulu later this year. Meanwhile,
someone sent me the clip and asked if it was accurate. It is
when a star player and owner a line winning happens. So there you go
by the way her magic magic are producing that. But that was that was
a year ago, she said, that is that not out yet? I
think it's I think I think it kind of came and went because they were
just about they were trying to do it. Catch on to the fucking uh
what was Jordan's documentary? That just everybody loves Winning Time, right, not
Winning Time show me nuts. Yeah, it's it's been replaced in my mind.
Ye last dance, right, last yep yep. So then everybody's like,
oh, I gotta do one of we gotta do one of those about
the Lakers. We've got to do one of those about Tom Brady. We
got to do one of those about fuck it, you know. And that's
that's what their's one was. And it wasn't as kind of did you watch
the Lads? I haven't seen it, but boring I thought find it boring,
but boring really awesome, man, a little bit, I mean compared
to the Winning Time, which is so fun, but oh, dude,
Winning Times, dude, Jerry West. I love that actor first of all
the place, and like Jeremy Clark. I think his name is and uh
is that his name? No, that's true. Uh. She said that
the thing that she found most nostalgic and almost touching about Winning Times about Winning
Time was the hair and makeup and cotton wardrobe, I mean wardrobe. They
got the actual real clothes that Jerry Buss used to wear all the time.
Well, dude, he's I mean, he looks it's so, she goes,
literally, I'm watching him play my dad while he's wearing the actual clothes.
Did not the clothes that look like him, his actual real clothes from
back then. Really remember that shirt. I remember that his his old stylist
is who they hooked up with, and she had a ton of that shit.
That's great, but she goes, I'm like, oh my god,
I haven't seen that shirt in fucking thirty one years. And they're so aggressive
with the style of that show too. You know, it's very stylistic,
the way they cut on dialogue and stuff. It's it's really interesting. I
like how they switched between video and film two sometimes when they want to emphasize,
like, you know, make you feel like you're in the moment,
you know, kind of I saw kind of a making of and on the
basketball action and you know when like Magic's coming down the core and does spin
moving quick passing on that. The camera guys are on rollerblades and they're really
rolling up and down the courts so it doesn't jostle or move or anything.
But and they don't have to use tracks. That guy that plays Kareem too,
is really almost seven feet he's like six ten, six to eleven or
something. He's the guy that plays Magic. Isn't credible, I mean,
sounds like him, he looks like him. He's all the guys that but
it's hard to face that size and that they found an actor that looks like
Kareem even a little bit. Is that tall and is good at acting?
Is crazy and it's all And the guy that plays Bird is good too.
Oh there. The cast is amazing. Yeah, the cast is I mean
everybody's But the real key, the key to a game like that, to
a show like that, any sports show, is you can't fit. You
can't fake the sports. If you got a guy that just clearly can't play
ball, I don't care if he looks cut it out, I don't care
if he looks like Kareem it, you lose it. And that's why that
show was so good. On Friday Night Lights, the high school football show
that, yeah, Michael B. Jordan was on and Taylor started that show
and he did a great job with those football clips and games that they were
fucking really playing real football, they were really hitting, they could really throw.
Was such a good show, fantastic show. Actually during the pandemic,
I gave that a rewatch. Yeah, I showed it to Danielle and so
she could rewatch it, and I watched some of it with her when she
was rewatching. It's fantastic, fantastic. And because it's a good it's a
good boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other. Yeah, because there's something for both
both halves. I think there's a little bit of like a little nine oh
two win O soap opera kind of action, and then there's also good sports
and good fucking I actually would recommend that show. That wouldn't you've seen Friday
and at Nights just thought what you're doing? Yeah, go check it out.
It's the show is better than the movie. Oh yeah, I totally
agree. Yeah, I think the cast for the show is better than the
cast for the movie even and that's I mean there's some really heavy hitters in
that movie, but everybody from that show became a star. Oh yeah,
yeah, Connie Britton, who is just gorgeous. I mean, she's the
best. They're dogs for not to be smoking on too. Yeah, for
sure. That's what's weird about show like that is that if you catch that
show late and you know the daughters like in college, and she's like twenty
two, twenty three, whatever, you go, Dann, this fucking girls
hot. Did you go back and pick it up? Yeah, I'm gonna
start watching this series from the beginning and she's like thirteen and you go,
oh my gosh, I know, I know, but you're like, well,
no, no, no, she's a fucking growing But you ever see
do you ever do that, like see a celebrity crush. Either you're like,
oh man, it feels good. Girls so hot, and then you
see like a picture of when she's like a child or a younger person.
You God, for sure, I saw you know who I saw like last
two years ago is the girl who plays science as Stark, And then I
remember thinking about how young she was when that show started. But she saw
her and yeah, I saw her walking around. Yeah, it's like getting
out walking out of a gym or yoga or something like that. She Oh,
she's beautiful. She had she was like all blonde now or she was
at the time, and like yoga pants on a white T shirt like a
wife beater kind of situation. And I was like, oh, there's sounds
of stark wow. And she was, you know, she started that show
at like thirteen or something. Fourteen you knew. I saw walking around Hollywood
to another one where I was like, oh, man, I'd love to
give me a piece of it, like and hot as fuck in person,
like hotter than you would think. Hand to god, mister f T.
Fuck dude. I was like, whoa bro. You could tell he was
a star, you could tell him. You got me so good, dude.
I really thought you were I thought you were so serious too, And
you just got me with the left hook there. I didn't see it.
I was waiting for the straight right and you caught me with the hook.
I was like, what's the dumbest thing? I like, who would not
who would you see it? You would be like God, Now, I
absolutely do not feel like fucking as a fifty eight year old mister T with
all this Jewel. Oh he wishes. But I tell you who was hot
too. The hottest people I saw in person where I was like, whoa
Alope Cruz Okay and movies and all this. I doesn't really even give a
damn. She was never like somebody I was like, oh my gosh,
she's get it. Yeah. I saw her in a coffee shop, just
sitting there. The light just hits her different, you know what I mean.
You could tell she was start. She had a T shirt and jeans
on. She was just having coffee in the afternoon or something. Who else
who couldn't stopped looking at her? Jennifer Lefett, Oh yeah, I mean
that doesn't surprise me. So I a kitchen mine is. I was in
London visiting my family and they had the premiere for Charlie's Angels. There was
a long time ago, and you would think like that cast. You're like,
oh, it's gonna be like Cameron Diaz or something. It was Lucy
Lou Dude, so hot bet for her? What really? What's your beef?
Yeah that she's Asian? No, No, no, she her and
I just love Bill Murray and her and Bill Murray got into it and she
was still am under the bus so hard that they all did they all they
all destroyed Bill Murray, all those women on that. It's weird. Yeah,
but dude, she was just gorgeous. I mean, no ship.
Yeah, dude, it surprised me. Yeah, I was. You would
think of that cast, you'd be like, oh, it's Drew barrymore or
Cameron Diaz. But Lucy, I bet Drew Barrymorey would be fun to fucking
uh date. But I bet you have to talk a lot. But there's
a lot. Did you see that last year where she's got the show now
where she just I don't know if it's still on the air, but she
had to talk yeah, and and and she kind of just has like talk
there with them kind of. I mean they just talked to each others,
like her ex boyfriend had Tom Green on there, Yeah, and just get
work through it with him. It was pretty entertaining. I have to say,
yeah, I didn't see that. If something, I have seen episodes
of this shit. We got here a coastlore let eleven to seven this games,
Oh, another win for the cume, Johnny, You're gonna make the
playoffs right now. They got a three game lead in the wild Card,
and they're maybe three games behind Milwaukee for the division, so they could they
could catch Milwaukee. They took two out of three from I can tell you
who they ain't catching. Yeah, but we might come to town and fucking
rattle your cage. Let's see what your undifferential is. Let's see, let's
look at these probably pretty decent. The Cubs run differential is plus ninety two.
The Braves is plus two hundred and thirty five. Yeah, but I
mean, so what that's still pretty good though. You're right, it's like
fourth in the National League, third in National League. But it wasn't even
supposed to even remotely be where they are right now. The Braves have scored
almost two hundred runs more than the Cubs. Yeah, but wait till we
come to town. I mean you, we would come to the Braves pretty
quickly. Everybody would have to come to the Atlanta Yeah, because they But
I'm seeing if we come kicking out of the fucking wild card race, you
would be we would be probably first up. It's yeah, oh no,
you guys, I think we would get the worst one, right, so
that wouldn't be Yeah, no, you guys are a second wild card.
Okay, yeah, fun Philly. I don't want any part of Philly though
after last year. It's got so hot last year. That's the thing with
the baseball, man, those short series. I don't think anybody can beat
the Braves in a seven game series, but a five game series, anything
can happen. Anything. It's weird because it's not like like in basketball,
you just don't get those kinds of upsets. It's so rare. But in
baseball it can happen. Man, you get a picture as a bad night,
you know, it's a little food poisoning or something. Series is over.
The whole season comes down to that. Oh yeah, hey what about
fucking h Marguerite, Dville, Guy Diet, Oh Jimmy, yeah, rest
in peace. I was never in I never really liked his music. He's
very popular where I'm from down here, But you are you in that music?
I just don't. It doesn't think no, But I you know,
it's one of those things where like I have like really close friends that love
him. Yeah, me too, Yeah, we all so you're kind of
like, okay, sure, sorry, sorry. It's more of a lifestyle
thing. So it's not really about the music, is it. It's more
of like Noah, it's like Florida. It's very you know what it reminds
me of is uh the Dude. Yeah, that's totally right. What's that
movie? Yeah, it's it's uh oh, the Big Lebowski. Yeah.
Big Lebowski's kind of like I'm gonna yeah exactly, I'm not gonna wear shoes.
I'm gonna get drunk at eleven am and you know what, fucking let
it go, man, that's what it reminds me of. That kind of
a sucking person. Everybody knows a guy like that. What are you doing
for your girlfriend? And fucking maker feel okay? Right now, she's sick,
she's already staying at the in laws. She probably got her sleeping in
a stack of hay and sometimes she's sleeping in the bed. And I'm gonna
sleep in a recliner here in my old room. Mask up, go cuddle
that bitch, I mean, mask up going there again. She's all about
she's very ant, all about, like because she doesn't want my mom to
get sick. You know, my mom's had like some clot, blood clots
things. True. Yeah, when my mommy gets sick, So she's afraid
of mask up going there. Have her fucking brush her teeth with your dick
and then fucking kick it. Get the fuck out of there. It's then
she feels close and connected to you, and then you get your fucking pull
smoked. I was waiting for her to go to sleep to try that.
Actually, once she falls asleep, I'm gonna sneak in there, give her,
give her one. Oh man, I just had this terrible cough.
I'm glad it wasn't COVID. I you know, I'm mad. I would
have been if it was COVID. Oh, you might have had the fluid
because it's so funny. I feel so bad for her. Two weeks ago,
she had this thing where she had this cough, just the cough though,
like down in her lungs, and that was what I got. Yeah,
it's a flu. It's a flu going around apparently. How long did
that last? I've had it for It lasted a while a while. I've
had it for the better part of nine years. Now. Well that's that's
a little too long. I'm not shipping you though. I've had it since
otter day. Maybe. Yeah, she had it for a week or more.
She had it for a week or morning. It was just like deep
like dry cough where she wasn't getting anything out of it, you know,
just like a yeah, And then fucking I was finding fine. I have
two days I kind of found a little bit fine, and then Sunday golfed
and then fucking got half fucking hammered in the smoking pot and drinking and chain
smoking, and it re just reset it. I woke up Monday and feeling
like shit again, went too hard. Yeah, and she took like three
or four COVID test during that whole thing. It wasn't COVID. I took
one yesterday because I was playing with the old guy old timers today, and
last thing I want to do is get fucking off one of them golf with
twelve fucking eighty five year old. You can take out your whole golf group.
I know, dude, that's my that's my only fucking income, right,
there's my fucking dollars seventy five a week. That's all I need.
Those guys to still have a long time hold on fellas. And it's too
later for them to start getting new friends or dropping like flies, these guys.
But yeah, so fucking that's gotta be what I've had. This guy
damn call forever days. Yeah, she had it too. It was very
strange. Well, that must mean I'm getting COVID next and then I'm gonna
be sucking your dead. I don't. I did read about this thing called
pre COVID where people get sick and then a week like a little bit,
and then a week later they test negative, and then a week later they
test positive. But I don't think it's like that. I don't. I
think that's maybe it's like your immune you get sick, your immune systems vulnerable,
and then you're susceptible that maybe. I don't know, who knows.
I don't think they know anything about this COVID honestly. I think they're making
up a lot of it. I mean, I just don't it's so I
really think it was made in the lab, honestly. That's starting up.
Yeah, and I and I think because of that, it's just got some
things that are we just haven't seen in viruses before. The way it's evolving,
I don't know anyway getting a conspiracy land there with that, well,
but I mean they've all practically admitted it. Yeah, it's funny they did,
and now they're trying to walk it back a little bit though, saying
like, oh, actually, we're not so sure. I don't know.
Did you see that weird red moon for the past couple of nights and beautiful?
Yeah, super cool? Yeah, low on the sky. I guess
it's because it's low on the horizon. Is that what that is? And
it gets a lot of the atmosphere. Yeah, it's called like, there's
name for it. I'll think of it like the venus or something, Venus
zone or something. There's a term for when it's wait, I think it's
venus, Venus zone or something where it's low in the atmosphere. So in
venus is that is that? That's a That's the studio album by Colombian American
singer Calli Ucas. It was released in twenty twenty three, marks third Good
Bless You. But yeah, when it's so it's low like that, you're
looking straight through it, so you're seeing much more atmosphere to it, and
it makes it look gigantic. It's almost like if you put like a glass
over something and you almost magnifies it kind of. Yeah, well that's the
thing where it makes it seem bigger, right, Yeah, yeah, and
that zone it's I think it's called the Venus something like the Venus zone,
because Venus is always so low in that sky, so it's when it's in
that kind of fucking neck of the woods. But I forget I was I
sent you that. I think a couple I sent you that that like a
few weeks back where they had a I thought I saw upho but and then
I was like, we got a Google like if there are any launches or
anything, and there was a Starlink launch. Oh yeah, yeah, it
looked so wild. And this guy we were just driving down the tin and
I was like, what is that? And it was it looked like a
comment, but like really low in the atmosphere, crazy crazy looking. It
does something to your when you see something that you know you've never seen and
you don't really know what it is, and you think that it could be
something crazy. There's a feeling inside of you that it's hard to explain that
you don't ever have that feeling, I know exactly, like if you saw
like a like imagine like the Indians and they first saw like those clipper ships
coming into the fucking see and they must have been like what the and they
just stood there looking at this thing. Until they got hit with cannonballs.
They were just like, what the look at this fucking ship? What did
what do you what do you see? What are you looking at right there?
Do you see what I'm seeing? Well, there's some theories that like
some of the or maybe it's not even a theory. I think some of
them recorded like seeing these boats first as is like snakes, like large snakes
that were coming in because they couldn't, you know, they just had no
conceptualization of like, oh boat with sales and stuff. They called them like
say flying snakes or some crazy shit like that. I can't but they didn't.
They just had no And then the theory part of it is that they
thought that they might have even been technically invisible to the Indians, like because
they couldn't they can't have just cut no context for it. Yeah, which
I don't know about that, but well, I said, when I was
in up in the mountains in Colorado, they had that fucking you know,
the star link, actual starlink where it just looks like a bunch of fucking
that ship and it was so I was so high in the mountains, also
very high in the mountains, and high in the mountains and it was like
fucking one in the morning, no one else else sitting out there, and
I was just sitting out there, fucking sipping a tequila, fucking middle of
the night, nobody else, everybody I love in the desert to du nothing
came zipping around, and I had no fucking clue what it was. I
didn't even think about it being the star like I thought it was. First
I thought it was the fucking gummies that I thought, I'm like, and
then I thought, I'm blinking my eyes, like what this shit am I
looking at? And it looked like it was so low because we were so
shit, we were like two, We're like fucking what. I think our
cabin was seven eight thousand feet, so we were a mile and a half
up into the mountains, so everything looked so slow, low, and that
thing just came and it just looked like a bunch of minus signs minus minus
minus minus minus, And I thought, what the shit, it's clearly not
a comment. It's clearly not a I thought it was maybe the space station
something. Was it when they were first putting them out, or was it
just them on there. It's just them flying by, just on their orbit,
just damn man, there's a lot of them, right, There's a
whole lot of them. It was a gigantic, long chain of so cool
what looked like just minus science. You know, the little kids when they
have that like their their paper. The little kids ride like first graders ride
on and the lines real big, and then they got those money. Yeah
that it looked like the sky was like that. It was just a straight
line of those dashes. So cool, and you're like, what in the
ship is that? And then are all who grew up in this town we
were in, But he grew up just south of this town. He knew
right away. He goes, oh yeah, that's the fucking starlink or whatever.
The Oh shit, dude, I didn't know. It's supposed to be
out where it is dark, isn't that? I love going to like Joshua
Tree around there playing in your town and you can just say nothing stuff,
that's amazing. There's nothing. There's literally no lights, and we had no
neighbors. There was no natural neighbors. Incredible, So if I just turned
all the lights out, it's just see your hand in front of your face
right now? Oh yeah, you trually can't. I mean it was so.
I mean, the stars were so bright you could practice. I bought
a pair of binoculars just for that, for going out in the desert and
looking at Jupiter. Dude, When when you're in the dark like that,
it's just oh, it's a it's a mind altering experience. And when you're
way out there like that, when there's saturn pollution get going, you can
you can completely with your naked eye tell the different between the planet and the
star. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just a different it's a different.
Yeah, I mean what it used to be, like what the Indian
saw when I looked up. Really, it's it's just so hard to get
far enough out now to see that. But I a would say that there
should be a and I'm sure other countries, frecking there's so much better than
America I have have this. What kind of country are you talking about?
Better? I mean small better for this, like smaller, not like fucking
you know, I can't remember who I was talking about, Hi, when
Casper might have been right in Casper it is Casper is a special episode.
He was like, my entire country has like three million people. I go
Los Angeles has fourteen millions. You know what I mean this fucking four that
this country is so big that it's hard to get ship done. It's hard
to get three hundred and fifty million people to agree on one fucking thing.
You think it's hard to get just your wife to decide where to go to
dinner, it's three hundred and fifty fucking million people that are all at each
other's throats. That's the argument of the national divorce. Yeah, what would
be cool would be just like a fucking holiday where like one night from fucking
eleven pm to three am, no light pollution the whole fucking country. You'd
never get people to do that, of course, not absolutely, you could
not. I prefaced this with the country. You know, other countries are
better for this ship. But that would be cool. There are dark parks.
There's dark parks like yeah, there's places out beyond Joshua Tree and like
deeper in the desert that are that are supposed to be some of the darkest
places in North America that you can go. I know, there's a map,
like a dark map you can look at and see where all the dark
places are. It's really cool. And there are a couple out there.
There's some parking lot in a National park. It's out past Joshua Tree that
is supposed to be like really super dark but cool dark here like two,
Yeah, it's pretty dark. That's a bull ball, Ye, bull ball
dark motherfucker too. That motherfucker is black as fuck. But it would be
so cool to be in like New York City or Chicago or Los Angeles or
one of these places. Is that is just decimated with light pollution. I
mean, can you imagine being in fucking downtown Chicago and the nights guy just
looks like it did fucking three hundred years ago instead of just so right?
I mean you should should I don't know. I think it would be fucking
badass. Did you see these uh? Did you see these people stuck at
Burning Man? How funny was that? I saw Chris Rock take a fucking
uber or a truck. Chris Rock jumped in somebody's truck and then like for
taking self, He's like I gave Chris and looking up, he literally took
a ride from a stranger and was in the back of his pickup truck like
one of your fucking hillbilly fucking cousins. So funny. I've kind of wanted
would you let one of your fucking hill jack cousins or one of your fucking
dipshit buddies out there? Would you let them come in here and get there
dick suck by your sick girlfriend or is that not just you don't do that?
Video shows Diplow and Chris Rock escaping blow. It was Diplow and Chris
Rock yep. I was trying to think who it was. Oh yeah,
they let me hear else. Let me see riding in the back of like
a fucking King of the Hill, fucking back of a fucking flatbed truck.
Chris rockin Knicks jacket on, and he looks cold. Chris Rock always looked
at He was really bizarrely scared of what was going to happen. He thought
there was going to be can and a day later. Yeah, you know,
I didn't know people were gonna run on our campus steal our stuff.
He had his New York Knicks check it on it. We just just got
up with us and started walking. And we walked about three hours in the
mud, and some kid recognized me on the road and said, hey,
I'll give you a ride for the next two miles, and we gladly took
it, and then we found some hippies in the street that had a sprinter
van and we said, hey, we'll give you a thousand dollars and we'll
thevenmo you if you take us to the airport. And we had some beers
and we just got in the back of the car and we just drove for
three hours and listened to some like Neil Young. Somehow I made the flight
and I made the show. I have no idea how, but then you
see it had a great time. Wow, it's funny. Yeah, but
mostly everyone got stuck there because of the rain. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
it was muddy. Have you ever been Bernie Man? No. I
would love to, but it's uh, I don't know if it's what would
you say, Uh? If I feel like that's a certain type of person,
then I'm not and it's a person who doesn't mind getting dirty. I
would have to. I would have to have the budget to get a full
on RV with like like a shower and a bed, you know, like
a big, big ass RV with a you'd have to go glamping. You'd
have to go glamp. That's the only way I could do that. Yeah,
getting one in my shoes like, I can't handle dirt in my shoes
at all. If my feet are dirty and I have to put a sock
on, that drives me. That gives me the Willie's hate that I would
you'd have to go go amping and kind of observe it all, but you
don't want to get your hands dirty. Exactly. I go as an observer.
That's exactly. That's how I feel about Taylor Swift concert. Yeah,
like it does look it looks like a crazy experience to see that many I
didn't know that they were that many thirteen year old girls in the world.
Let the loan in one city or one stadium. It's it is a sight
to behold all these videos of the Taylor Swift And I have never heard a
person come back from that show and say, all right, you know,
I could have done without it. Every person is just gobsmacked by the whole
thing. But I just I'm at an age finally where I don't have it
in me to be around a hundred thousand screaming thirteen year olds for four hours.
It would be a cool thing to see. It would be a cool
human thing to be in the middle of and see all that and the production
value looks incredible, but it would wear on me pretty quickly, you know
what I mean. That's why I think that I wouldn't waste that. Also,
it would be I mean, if someone gave me a ticket, I
would go, well, I would never pay for that, and it's expensive,
and I probably would be like, hey, you know, maybe maybe
we'll you know, let's go there for the beginning, you know, and
then maybe we'll fucking uh you know, we'll see how we'll see how long
how much we want to get out of here, knowing it is a four
hour show, We'll see how long this lasts. Like I would kind of
like to see this Aerosmith farewell toward just because that was my first concert and
I kind of grew up with Aerosmith. I like them, but I have
the ticket. I'm not going to spend three hundred dollars to see Aerosmith,
of course not. But I mean Black Crows are opening for him to do
that's a good show. It's a good ye. And that's who that was
their first big band that took them on the road. Oh really, that
must be why they're they're coming out with them. Yeah, I remember there
still whatever is shaking money Maker. Is that their first album, like Crows?
I think so? Yeah, Yeah, I think they might have one.
They went on tour with Aerosmith for that album. I mean, they
had their own little tour, but their first big tour was Carol Smith.
Yeah, Shaking money Makers the first album. Yeah, that was about nineteen
ninety there. What year was that? That's ninety ninety yep, So that's
when they went because that was my junior year of high school. Everybody went
to that concert that summer, Errol Smith and Crows. That was the big
summer concert. I think the first album of theirs that I had was the
one that came out after that. Now you so the Harmaty Companion. I
think that's my favorite Curls album. Yeah, that's probably their biggest album,
right, Remedy on It, that's the big one. It's one of That
song was so huge. Both of those albums are pretty fucking huge. Their
first three albums. All right, Johnny, I'm gonna go get out of
here, watch the rest of it comes. One game's over there, you
go. You gotta get on this. Uh? Have you watched the what
We Meet? You and Jeff Dani's were text about earlier, though, Okay,
I watched it with her. The Resort the Resort one. I watched
the first episode. The first episode I thought was boring, but it was
all set up, you know, like like the first one is a nothing.
There's there's four episodes now and they increasingly get better and weirder. Talking
about Nave, I really hate that Southern woman that's on there with a black
guy, the one from Georgia. She treats him like shit. Yeah,
yeah, I just don't like her. She annoys me. And it really
is a all star cast of everybody that I've hated from that show for the
most part, and they really Yeah, no neck ed guy. I just
want to have you noticed that she's starting to look He's brought her down to
his level. She's starting to look more like him and be shaped more like
him. She's kind of getting this round sort of shape to her face and
her body. Yeah, he's shaped like a potato, like a mister pots
looking like a missus potato head. Slowly, I don't get well, I
don't even see. He's way out of his league, Like he's as out
of his league as anybody has ever been. And that's saying more about him.
I don't understand it. I'm saying way more about him as I mean.
So they're all that's his therapy island ship for all these failed relationships that
just wanting to drink of about feeling and this big fat fuck edd He had
no knack ed. He's been pretty famous everybody who he is. But so
they but they gets his this new episode that me and Jeff are talking about,
they are at this fucking uh yeah, that's all you guys are texting.
I've been dealing with this on the couples counseling bullshit and they're the sex
counsel That was this new episode I hadn't seen yet. And how's Michael doing
on there? She flipped on him yet or is it? Is he still?
Because it seemed like what I have seen so far, Angela has been
more like, oh, maybe my relationship is not so bad. No,
she's unhinged. And by the way, the key to every reality show is
Okay, whatever you gotta do, you gotta do pumping the booze, pumping
the booze. And dude, they have two really really good fights when everybody's
super drunk because they just let them all be around each other and they and
she's behind all of them, and she's she's so bristly, you know,
I mean, she's she's she bristles that anything. I mean, she gets
she's prickly. That's what I meant to say. Anything pisses her off.
But this new one is she gets this fucking like it's a vibrator and it
kind of looks like a shape like a would I say, like a bracelet,
like or like a watch. It's she like this, but it doesn't
hinge. I know exactly what you're talking about. And then so you're supposed
to put this thing like around your pussy and then your partner has it if
you want. There's plenty of places you could put it. And your partner
has an app on his mode. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I
know a by this thing and this motherfucker is an Africa and he is working
these controls and dude, they're showing it. It's really disturbing because she's like
a fucking gross sixty five year old and she she looks. This tells you
how unattractive she is. She looks a thousand percent better than she did in
the first season, and she's still like a two garbage. She's a garbage
person and and she's just trash. She's trash and she but I don't Yeah,
you gotta see that part. But the fucking uh, they're all together,
everyone's at a desk, all of them at the same time, doing
a group therapy with his sex lady and I want you guys to do this
morning, and that Liz girls had that fat, fucking big head. Well
you can't. He can't eat her out like for long because he gets winded.
And everybody else on the show started laughing when she said that he gets
winded every time he tries to go down on her. She goes, well,
I did, I did. I did just have a you know,
surgery, and I'm trying to get back in shape a few weeks ago.
She goes, that was many months ago. It was weeks ago. It
was like five months ago. Talking about people on that show having trouble performing,
because that's the same with the guy in Panama. You know, he's
and then that a swailer guy is so sorry. He's the dumbest guy on
the planet. He's like it talks like a baby. He talks like a
baby. So they go, okay, listen, this is anonymous, give
me the best of the bist. Oh that's right, I forgot about that.
This anonymous you guys, So I'm gonna pass around this bucket. There's
some bunch of pens and all the papers is the exact same size. Everybody's
write down any question you have about sex or sexuality or anything. So this
is basically so this will be you know, nobody will because there's like eight
eight people. Nobody will fucking know who it is. So this way,
you guys, all counsel comes back. Okay, puts her hand in the
bucket. There's a bunch of questions. Okay, here's one. There's the
first one. It says, how do I make dick my dick big?
And it's all like stupid eight year old shit that only he would say how?
And how how may I make myself last longer? And what can I
do so Lani will stop seeing this? Another guy, you know, he
he just gives it away his too. No, that last part was bullshit.
But the two things he asks is how can I make my dick big?
And uh, how can I make it so I last longer? I
mean, it's the only one that talks like a fucking four year old and
literally everybody turned and looked. Everybody turned around looked at him. They do
it was his ship's due. He is fucking so stupid. He's so dumb.
All right, watch that ship, guys. Thank you for what a
boring episode this was, and thank you to Sam Tripoli once again making Fantasy
Football special guest appearance by Sam as fun as it possibly possibly could be.
This was especially for you, Casper, who has sent me about four messages
begging me and congratulations. He banged one of the fucking sisters again in the
exact same way she pops over to He get this fuck island that he lives
on. He was in some fucking Danish fuck island. Well it's happening now
because there's only what twenty people living in the whole country. So I and
they gotta take a fairy here. This is his move. They take a
ferry over to fuck island and then they get fucking all schnockered with some booze
knock down because she gets all schnockered. I don't even think he. I
don't think he drinks right, maybe he. I think she just was doing
the So they take the ferry. Now, you can't take the ferry back
because you're too drunk and you miss the ferry and then it's fuck a clock.
But they make the moves on him. I think they just have this
little island. They go, I gotta get it. I'm too stressed.
I gotta jump on the ferry and go. Fuck Once you made it all
the way there, you're like, I mean, I came this far,
I'm not not do it. Get COVID and not suck a dick. I've
never been in San Francisco. I went this past week to go see the
Braves play, and I know you were there. I didn't know you've never
been. No, I never been. Yeah. I saw wes Are playing
Berkeley because the reason I went, Weezer was playing the day we left in
LA for this trip. They were playing in LA and I really want to
go that, so I went to see them in Berkeley, and I just
worked out that the Braves were up there too, and I saw them two
games in that park at a beautiful park oracle. Yeah. You know what,
though, it's not the over there by the by the Bay side or
where you are. Yeah, on the base base. Yeah, on the
Bay side. Yeah. Well, I was more like downtown area. But
yeah, on the Bay side. But it was when I move in your
seats were you in the outfield? Oh oh no, no by the seats,
No, I had great seats. Yeah, yeah, I was.
In fact, I was in the first row at the end of the dugout,
like literally, I saw a picture of your s. They were the
best seats I've ever had for our baseball game ever, by far. The
first night I had third row, like on the on the I just waited
the last minute to buy them first row or third row sorry, on the
other side on the home side, which but the second. For a Braves
fan, it was the best thing you could. You could see them all
celebrate the Homers when they came in. It was just oh, it was
a treat. And it was all the stuff I've heard about San Francisco,
I can say that I saw none of it. None of the rivers of
crap flowing in the streets. No, you know, homeless mentalists like stabbing
people, none of that stuff. Oakland I did, Like my citizen was
blown up the whole time I was in Oakland with like car jackings and stuff.
But once I got to the other side of the Bay Bridge, it
was beautiful. That's all I can say. I like San Francisco. It's
just so fucking expensive. Oh it was so cool too, man, the
weather like because it was like ninety when I left LA and I got there
sixty five degrees. I didn't know. That was the first seven year ago
I've never been. Yeah, no, she has. She had to work.
It was a baseball she didn't care about baseball, right right, right,
Yeah, San Francisco is great. That punched on me and Sam.
I will say Berkeley though, like us letting cal Berkeley in the ACC is
ridiculous. That football stadium is a dump. They should That's not an ACC
football stadium. It's a it's just a flat. And I heard three different
groups of guys saying, like, boy, I hope the ACC lets us
in and any I mean it was it's good getting rid of the NC Double
A and we have like maybe regional one mega conference with three regions. I
think it's what we're headed for. Possibly probably they're they're there are high school
football stadiums in Texas that are nicer than that state. Oh yeah, yeah,
I mean it's it just looks like it has some charm because it's it's
clearly from a different era. You know, it's all like kind of crumbling
stone like facade, but no, it's it's a dump. Yeah anyway,
all right brother, all right, guys, thanks for listening. Everybody.
Good luck in your fantasy football? Uh? Ever's this? You finished second
behind me? Bo? Well? I uh, that's what your girlfriend says.
I love you guys. Suck it, Johnny sock Hi? Why what
did they say? Every Girl's my girlfriend, Every girl's my girlfriend? Every
good? It disturbed me. How much Sam love this song? Yeah?
It was like, yeah special needs? What do I say? Doby Stock
leather Brock, you are kids. We're supporting now if you are. If
you're a drunk puncher, wow, buy if you want to find this uh
and buy it to keep with me high. Let's get busy. As the
name of the album, Girls My Girlfriend, every Girl's My girl, just
gonna I'm gonna make I'm gonna put this a vote. Should this be the
new punch drunk? Uh? Themes