Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast for the week of April twenty fourth, twenty
twenty three. I'm Catherine Heleco and I'm here with Nicole Ritics, Hello,
and Terry Morrow. Hello. Every week we chat about what parents are talking,
complaining, and obsessing about right now. This week we're complaining about tension
with older kids and obsessing about how those older kids are doing. We also
take a couple of breaks for an entertainment discussion and a recommendation roundup. And
today we are talking about the prom because it is the season. Yeah,
my son just went to one prom and he's actually going to another one.
Wow, Which so he kind of went from like me, thinking he was
going to zero proms and then to one at a different school, and then
suddenly he was going to his own one as well as the one at the
other school. So yeah, that happened. Yes, so he's got a
suit. I don't I don't think they were doing taxes so much anymore.
The guys are wearing suits, and they like some of them, like to
wear like a real wild jacket or like an entire entire like pink suit.
So and then they're not wearing socks, right, they like roll up their
pants or something while the pants are cut kind of short. My son does
work, he like sucks, Like he has a collection of socks, so
he wore socks. Ye, so um, but you know it was it
was a group thing. And then when he goes to the SEC the other
schools prom it's with a friend, but in a group, right, So
I'm like trying to figure out does he get his friend flowers? Like how
do we I don't know, like what the sort of norms are at this
other school, but I discussed it with my neighbor and she advised me to
just get flowers because like it's better to do it than not do it.
That's true. You know, like if he shows up empty handed, then
she's the only one with nothing, then that's bad. So better to do
when it's not wanted than to not do when it is, I guess,
yeah, And that's kind of that's not true of all circumstances, but in
this one, right, that's kind of where where we landed on that.
So so we have to organize that. Yes, So asportation, how does
that work? Um? They don't do like limmels and stuff as far as
I know. Um, they just drive, they're regular, they're regular.
Will he meet her there or oh? Um right, because he doesn't try
um although, as we discussed last week, he's he's learning, honestly he
is. Yeah, I don't know yet. We'll have to I'll have to
find out if if he's you know, if I can drop him wherever they're
taking pictures, probably I will bring him there and then he will proceed with
everything else. It's it is fun to be on Facebook on prom night because
all the moms are posting all the pictures and they're all there's like three locations
where people do it too, and it just you know, you think you
recognize where they are, Like it's these particular steps of this chapel at this
university nearby, and so it's like you know that there was like a line
basically of people trying to crowd on to those steps. It's what was it?
It's it's reality Instagram reality, right, yeah, reality? All right.
I don't remember going in troops when I was in high school. Is
that just a new thing so that people don't have to be paired off necessarily
they just go in groups? Or yeah, I mean I think it's it's
I don't know how new. But yeah, when I went to Prom,
I mean you went as a group, but also you it was like groups
of dates. Yeah, Like it was like, Mabe, I didn't have
enough friends. I don't think we two by two, but yeah, but
you know you sat together at dinner and you took some pictures together. But
you definitely had a date when I went. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it seemed like there are fewer couples that are paired up. I mean,
at least with Kristen and Josh. Well Josh maybe no, he always said
it, you know, David. But with Kristen's ears, she just well,
you know a couple of years that she went, she it was just
big groups of kids. Yeah, even you know, big groups of guys,
big groups of girls, right, Like nobody really paired off and went
as states. Yeah. I mean if people are already dating, then obviously
they went growing together. And like I saw one picture and I was like,
oh, I recognize that girl. And so then I I said to
um the kids mom, like, oh, so are they dating or did
they just go together? And She's like no, Um, it was like
there was a group of guys and a group of girls, and he got
paired with her because they were the tallest. Oh boy, so they got
paired by high Yeah. I liked the idea of that because it means more
people can go and it's less like if you don't have a boyfriend, you
can't go to prom. On the other hand, if you don't have a
posse of friends, right, you still you still get excluded. I think
if my daughter had had a bunch of friends, she would have, you
know, enjoyed going. But she would have just been there as a loose
end. And maybe somebody would have asked her to come sit at their table,
and maybe she would have been sitting at a table someplace by herself.
And since she wasn't particularly motivated to go anyway, right, I was.
I was sad on her behalf. Right. But my son did have a
girlfriend and they went to junior prom and he did not have a very good
time. I think his girlfriend did, but he and his buddy and his
girlfriend went and the two guys were not you know, once dinner was over,
they were ready to leave. Ye. So so when it came to
have to prom, I think he probably would have gone because because she wanted
to go, and I think he would have but right, not too long
before it, he had this ruptured ulcer and he was in the hospital for
a week, and then he was recuperating for a few weeks, and you
know, so his girlfriend's mom kept calling me and saying, are they going?
Are they going? They need to buy tickets, and I'm like,
I don't want to add this to his pile of stress right now, and
so I just took it off the table and she went by herself with some
friends and had a good time. So I don't think any harm was done.
I don't think he felt sad, but it was like, no,
it was my chance to have a kid going to bram right. Neither one
we were prom I don't deal with those things like that, right, not
our thing. But I like looking at the pictures of kids on Facebook.
Ye, there looking so pretty. So yeah, as I was saying before
we started recording, like as of like well a few several weeks ago,
I didn't think my son was going because he was to any prom. Because
he was telling me that, you know, oh, his one like good
guy friend was you know, going with his girlfriend, and his other good
guy friend was working and he couldn't get the day off because all the employees
wanted the night off to go to the prom, and and then I was
just like, what about this person? What about that person? You know?
And they're like, oh, well, they all have you know,
they all have plans, and so it was sort of just like the groups
were forming and maybe everybody thought that everybody else was in a different group whatever.
So it just seemed like he wasn't gonna go. And then then he
get his female friend invited him to her school's prom. I'm like, oh,
okay, so he's going to a prom, but he's just not going
to his own prom. And then when we were shopping for the suit for
him to wear to the other prom, is when I found out that he
was in fact going to his own prom. Like, okay. I tried
to keep up, but I don't always have all the information. Right,
that's great though, he's having a good time. He's enjoying his end of
high school here, yes, hm, yes, And did you guys go
to your You guys went to your proms? Right? Yeah, m hmmm.
The pictures to prove it didn't line up somewhere with people pictures, but
the studio at the prom, yes, with silly props and stuff which they
don't seem to do any They don't do that, Nicole. They have a
photo booth, like a photo booth, Yeah, but they don't seem to
have the formal pictures that yeah, right, looked like they used to write.
You know, for I'm going to qualify this and say, like for
American proms that never happened. At least where I grew up, it was
a different, Right, you had the dance on the on the floor of
the hockey rink after graduation, ceremony and dance all in one place. Yeah,
Oh my gosh, I still remember walking out of those Oh my gosh,
onto the Yeah. It was a concrete that's under the concrete. Yeah.
Memories that live with us forever. Yes, But like, yeah,
it just seems it's still very like here. I don't know if it's a
southern California thing or not, but the locations are just way out there there,
you know. It's it's definitely it's an expensive venture because the locations for
as long as you know, my kids have been yeah, they were five
years apart, but but for that duration of time, from my sons to
my daughters, they were always like a good hour away. Wow, random
big event, area. So but recently, like I think, well,
it was rickersonstubit this last when I saw photos and it was out at some
golf resort in Palm Desert, Wow, which is well over an hour from
here. Talk about fancy to my arena, my hockey arena we went to
when I went to prom, I think it was at the local country club
in Thousand Oaks. They had a restaurant there that we are a catering hole
or something. But I don't know where they do proms here now for kids,
because I haven't had anyth to go to a prom. But the junior
prom was in just a catering hall. There's there's The landscape is littered with
catering halls out here in New Jersey because that's where events take place. So
it was one of the nicer ones and it was kind of cool dropping them
off to go, and then the moms all went to them all to have
dinner and then they called us and say, because we're done, and we
were right out than we expected. But still, you know, yeah,
developmental steps. But I think though too, like now, the bigger question
is is that because Catherine, you are having the last child go through this
milestone. Um, are are we happy that the prom sme thing is over?
Like do we you know we made it through that or to deal with
that again? How are we feeling about this? Yeah? I think I'm
fine with it, you know, like I mean, it is it's definitely
fun, you know, get seeing them all get dressed up and seeing you
know, the kids that you've known since they were five and then and like
now they're now they're eighteen and they're all dressed up, and that's I think
that's fun. So yeah, there's also all the like social stuff of like
who's going with who? And who's you know, not going with the person
they who got paired up because they were tall right right? Or who's sitting
at home? Or you know, I did see you on Facebook one set
of photos from um a kid and it was just the child and their parents.
There were no pictures with friends. That concern you know. Yeah,
I thought that can't be good. But I mean, but the kid was
dressed up and going, so I guess that's good. Maybe the parents just
didn't go to where the group was sticking. I don't know, because usually
like every kid has one, two, three, four photographers there. Yeah,
you have you have at least one parent, maybe a grandparent, maybe
a step parent, like there's a whole crowd. So it seemed a little
odd to me that this don't have that. Maybe they maybe that kid forbade
the parents to come to the right right quite so we had a my son
went to junior prom that we had a very nice photo of the three of
them on the steps in front of our house. So it wasn't the group
photo photo place, but it was our group photo plays. Yeah, I
was just looking at those pictures because my son was going to wear a suit
for his confirmation. We couldn't remember what pants we matched with the jacket,
and I said, I think you wore that for his junior problem. Let
me look through photos from thirteen. Well, now it moves on to graduation
photos, and then college graduation photos, and then weddings and babies and all
sorts of things for us to look on Facebook and see, isn't our kid
doing that yet more? Thank goodness, our kid isn't doing that yet,
or him or a little bit of both. Is that what she's doing with
her live? Okay, but for now we're going to say that that anxiety
and gloating for another time and say that's it for today's Round one. Tune
in tomorrow for our entertainment themed Round two and later in the week to find
out what we're complaining about, obsessing about, and recommending right now. We're
always interested in what you have to say, so drop us a comment on
our website or Facebook page or Twitter, where you'll find us a round about a chat