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Welcome to the Parenting Roundabout podcast for
the week of April twenty fourth, twenty

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twenty three. I'm Catherine Heleco and
I'm here with Nicole Ritics, Hello,

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and Terry Morrow. Hello. Every
week we chat about what parents are talking,

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complaining, and obsessing about right now. This week we're complaining about tension

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with older kids and obsessing about how
those older kids are doing. We also

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take a couple of breaks for an
entertainment discussion and a recommendation roundup. And

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today we are talking about the prom
because it is the season. Yeah,

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my son just went to one prom
and he's actually going to another one.

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Wow, Which so he kind of
went from like me, thinking he was

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going to zero proms and then to
one at a different school, and then

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suddenly he was going to his own
one as well as the one at the

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other school. So yeah, that
happened. Yes, so he's got a

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suit. I don't I don't think
they were doing taxes so much anymore.

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The guys are wearing suits, and
they like some of them, like to

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wear like a real wild jacket or
like an entire entire like pink suit.

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So and then they're not wearing socks, right, they like roll up their

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pants or something while the pants are
cut kind of short. My son does

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work, he like sucks, Like
he has a collection of socks, so

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he wore socks. Ye, so
um, but you know it was it

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was a group thing. And then
when he goes to the SEC the other

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schools prom it's with a friend,
but in a group, right, So

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I'm like trying to figure out does
he get his friend flowers? Like how

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do we I don't know, like
what the sort of norms are at this

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other school, but I discussed it
with my neighbor and she advised me to

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just get flowers because like it's better
to do it than not do it.

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That's true. You know, like
if he shows up empty handed, then

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she's the only one with nothing,
then that's bad. So better to do

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when it's not wanted than to not
do when it is, I guess,

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yeah, And that's kind of that's
not true of all circumstances, but in

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this one, right, that's kind
of where where we landed on that.

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So so we have to organize that. Yes, So asportation, how does

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that work? Um? They don't
do like limmels and stuff as far as

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I know. Um, they just
drive, they're regular, they're regular.

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Will he meet her there or oh? Um right, because he doesn't try

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um although, as we discussed last
week, he's he's learning, honestly he

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is. Yeah, I don't know
yet. We'll have to I'll have to

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find out if if he's you know, if I can drop him wherever they're

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taking pictures, probably I will bring
him there and then he will proceed with

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everything else. It's it is fun
to be on Facebook on prom night because

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all the moms are posting all the
pictures and they're all there's like three locations

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where people do it too, and
it just you know, you think you

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recognize where they are, Like it's
these particular steps of this chapel at this

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university nearby, and so it's like
you know that there was like a line

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basically of people trying to crowd on
to those steps. It's what was it?

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It's it's reality Instagram reality, right, yeah, reality? All right.

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I don't remember going in troops when
I was in high school. Is

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that just a new thing so that
people don't have to be paired off necessarily

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they just go in groups? Or
yeah, I mean I think it's it's

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I don't know how new. But
yeah, when I went to Prom,

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I mean you went as a group, but also you it was like groups

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of dates. Yeah, Like it
was like, Mabe, I didn't have

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enough friends. I don't think we
two by two, but yeah, but

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you know you sat together at dinner
and you took some pictures together. But

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you definitely had a date when I
went. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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it seemed like there are fewer couples
that are paired up. I mean,

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at least with Kristen and Josh.
Well Josh maybe no, he always said

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it, you know, David.
But with Kristen's ears, she just well,

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you know a couple of years that
she went, she it was just

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big groups of kids. Yeah,
even you know, big groups of guys,

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big groups of girls, right,
Like nobody really paired off and went

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as states. Yeah. I mean
if people are already dating, then obviously

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they went growing together. And like
I saw one picture and I was like,

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oh, I recognize that girl.
And so then I I said to

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um the kids mom, like,
oh, so are they dating or did

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they just go together? And She's
like no, Um, it was like

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there was a group of guys and
a group of girls, and he got

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paired with her because they were the
tallest. Oh boy, so they got

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paired by high Yeah. I liked
the idea of that because it means more

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people can go and it's less like
if you don't have a boyfriend, you

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can't go to prom. On the
other hand, if you don't have a

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posse of friends, right, you
still you still get excluded. I think

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if my daughter had had a bunch
of friends, she would have, you

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know, enjoyed going. But she
would have just been there as a loose

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end. And maybe somebody would have
asked her to come sit at their table,

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and maybe she would have been sitting
at a table someplace by herself.

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And since she wasn't particularly motivated to
go anyway, right, I was.

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I was sad on her behalf.
Right. But my son did have a

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girlfriend and they went to junior prom
and he did not have a very good

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time. I think his girlfriend did, but he and his buddy and his

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girlfriend went and the two guys were
not you know, once dinner was over,

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they were ready to leave. Ye. So so when it came to

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have to prom, I think he
probably would have gone because because she wanted

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to go, and I think he
would have but right, not too long

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before it, he had this ruptured
ulcer and he was in the hospital for

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a week, and then he was
recuperating for a few weeks, and you

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know, so his girlfriend's mom kept
calling me and saying, are they going?

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Are they going? They need to
buy tickets, and I'm like,

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I don't want to add this to
his pile of stress right now, and

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so I just took it off the
table and she went by herself with some

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friends and had a good time.
So I don't think any harm was done.

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I don't think he felt sad,
but it was like, no,

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it was my chance to have a
kid going to bram right. Neither one

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we were prom I don't deal with
those things like that, right, not

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our thing. But I like looking
at the pictures of kids on Facebook.

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Ye, there looking so pretty.
So yeah, as I was saying before

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we started recording, like as of
like well a few several weeks ago,

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I didn't think my son was going
because he was to any prom. Because

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he was telling me that, you
know, oh, his one like good

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guy friend was you know, going
with his girlfriend, and his other good

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guy friend was working and he couldn't
get the day off because all the employees

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wanted the night off to go to
the prom, and and then I was

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just like, what about this person? What about that person? You know?

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And they're like, oh, well, they all have you know,

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they all have plans, and so
it was sort of just like the groups

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were forming and maybe everybody thought that
everybody else was in a different group whatever.

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So it just seemed like he wasn't
gonna go. And then then he

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get his female friend invited him to
her school's prom. I'm like, oh,

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okay, so he's going to a
prom, but he's just not going

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to his own prom. And then
when we were shopping for the suit for

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him to wear to the other prom, is when I found out that he

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was in fact going to his own
prom. Like, okay. I tried

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to keep up, but I don't
always have all the information. Right,

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that's great though, he's having a
good time. He's enjoying his end of

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high school here, yes, hm, yes, And did you guys go

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to your You guys went to your
proms? Right? Yeah, m hmmm.

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The pictures to prove it didn't line
up somewhere with people pictures, but

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the studio at the prom, yes, with silly props and stuff which they

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don't seem to do any They don't
do that, Nicole. They have a

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photo booth, like a photo booth, Yeah, but they don't seem to

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have the formal pictures that yeah,
right, looked like they used to write.

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You know, for I'm going to
qualify this and say, like for

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American proms that never happened. At
least where I grew up, it was

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a different, Right, you had
the dance on the on the floor of

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the hockey rink after graduation, ceremony
and dance all in one place. Yeah,

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Oh my gosh, I still remember
walking out of those Oh my gosh,

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onto the Yeah. It was a
concrete that's under the concrete. Yeah.

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Memories that live with us forever.
Yes, But like, yeah,

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it just seems it's still very like
here. I don't know if it's a

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southern California thing or not, but
the locations are just way out there there,

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you know. It's it's definitely it's
an expensive venture because the locations for

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as long as you know, my
kids have been yeah, they were five

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years apart, but but for that
duration of time, from my sons to

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my daughters, they were always like
a good hour away. Wow, random

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big event, area. So but
recently, like I think, well,

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it was rickersonstubit this last when I
saw photos and it was out at some

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golf resort in Palm Desert, Wow, which is well over an hour from

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here. Talk about fancy to my
arena, my hockey arena we went to

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when I went to prom, I
think it was at the local country club

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in Thousand Oaks. They had a
restaurant there that we are a catering hole

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or something. But I don't know
where they do proms here now for kids,

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because I haven't had anyth to go
to a prom. But the junior

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prom was in just a catering hall. There's there's The landscape is littered with

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catering halls out here in New Jersey
because that's where events take place. So

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it was one of the nicer ones
and it was kind of cool dropping them

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off to go, and then the
moms all went to them all to have

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dinner and then they called us and
say, because we're done, and we

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were right out than we expected.
But still, you know, yeah,

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developmental steps. But I think though
too, like now, the bigger question

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is is that because Catherine, you
are having the last child go through this

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milestone. Um, are are we
happy that the prom sme thing is over?

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Like do we you know we made
it through that or to deal with

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that again? How are we feeling
about this? Yeah? I think I'm

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fine with it, you know,
like I mean, it is it's definitely

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fun, you know, get seeing
them all get dressed up and seeing you

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know, the kids that you've known
since they were five and then and like

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now they're now they're eighteen and they're
all dressed up, and that's I think

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that's fun. So yeah, there's
also all the like social stuff of like

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who's going with who? And who's
you know, not going with the person

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they who got paired up because they
were tall right right? Or who's sitting

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at home? Or you know,
I did see you on Facebook one set

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of photos from um a kid and
it was just the child and their parents.

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There were no pictures with friends.
That concern you know. Yeah,

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I thought that can't be good.
But I mean, but the kid was

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dressed up and going, so I
guess that's good. Maybe the parents just

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didn't go to where the group was
sticking. I don't know, because usually

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like every kid has one, two, three, four photographers there. Yeah,

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you have you have at least one
parent, maybe a grandparent, maybe

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a step parent, like there's a
whole crowd. So it seemed a little

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odd to me that this don't have
that. Maybe they maybe that kid forbade

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the parents to come to the right
right quite so we had a my son

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went to junior prom that we had
a very nice photo of the three of

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them on the steps in front of
our house. So it wasn't the group

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photo photo place, but it was
our group photo plays. Yeah, I

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was just looking at those pictures because
my son was going to wear a suit

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for his confirmation. We couldn't remember
what pants we matched with the jacket,

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and I said, I think you
wore that for his junior problem. Let

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me look through photos from thirteen.
Well, now it moves on to graduation

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photos, and then college graduation photos, and then weddings and babies and all

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sorts of things for us to look
on Facebook and see, isn't our kid

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doing that yet more? Thank goodness, our kid isn't doing that yet,

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or him or a little bit of
both. Is that what she's doing with

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her live? Okay, but for
now we're going to say that that anxiety

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and gloating for another time and say
that's it for today's Round one. Tune

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in tomorrow for our entertainment themed Round
two and later in the week to find

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out what we're complaining about, obsessing
about, and recommending right now. We're

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always interested in what you have to
say, so drop us a comment on

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our website or Facebook page or Twitter, where you'll find us a round about a chat