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Coming up in this episode, her friend Doug e Fresh brings all his strip
club DJ energy into the studio as we talk about graduating students high school and
college, putting their personal venmo and PayPal on car windows, so when you
drive by you can see it and possibly donate to them. The special feeling,
the meaning of going out, getting her card, writing a little something
special. And then here I'm saying to me, to you, here's what
I like about the Venmo thing. Okay, I know you know, but
here's I'm going to say what I do like about it. I don't have
to go buy a car. We talk about a bizarre story where a woman
was taken from hospice to a funeral home and as they were preparing her body,
she started to breathe like it's the end anyway, don't make it,
don't make the nine one one call. And the Marubo tribe that's living in
a remote part of Brazil is finally linked to the rest of the world thanks
to Elon Musk's starling Well you freaking out they watched Deep Throat, Got it.
They're saying that the elders are very concerned about the young people watching porn.
All that more coming up right after this. Have you been to the
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Baby from the Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor
Kreisler, Dots, Jeep Wram. It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast. Well,
hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on, Thank you for
telling a friend, Thank you for sponsoring those that sponsor us, places like
Trada, the restaurant at the Armory. They got one hundred and sixty five
inch TV. There you go over and watch the NBA Finals and the Stanley
Cup Finals. And tonight he's a disappointment to his dad, but everybody loves
him. Dougie Fred, what's going on? Baby in the house? Ready
to rock and roll? Did your parents ever say at any point, not
not that you are a disappointment, but were that they were disappointed in you,
like my mom would drop a disappointed and it would and that would actually
weigh heavier on me than anything else. Sure they did back in the day.
Yeah, you just didn't care. Yeah, disappointed. Did they ever
say that? Like when you told them when? Okay, how did they
go over when you said I'm DJing a strip club? Yeah? Oh,
I don't remember so long ago really, Like some things just get seared in
your memory, like, no, you'll remember the look on your parents' face.
Do you remember what? Because I had already been playing softball for him
for the strip club. Yeah, that's how I got it. Okay,
So my buddy said, hey, the glass you can't eat softball players.
They pay for your uniforms, they pay for you to play, and then
after the game you go back and you get two free pictures for the team.
Exactly how do we get onto this? And that was I think I
was twenty four to twenty five. And then one of the owners played softball,
believe it or not, he thought I was a funny guy. Yeah,
and they said if we ever put in a DJ booth, That's what
happened at twenty seven. So what were they doing prior to that? Just
a juke box. Just a jukebox, just a jukebox. The girls will
go and punch their songs in and then follow the next gu Oh and they
would take CDs in and out. And they still do that at some strip
clubs. Yeah, but the uh but the DJ adds a whole new atmosphere
to it. Yeah, a little bit, but I think so. Yeah,
yeah, makes a little more bird. Hey, guys, give it
up for jade. Like, I don't know who's on stage right, If
it's a jukebox, I have no fucking idea. That's not a good move.
I want to know if it's jade ginger. Uh uh Sally no no,
never introduced to Sally long top Sally Sapphire sapphire right, sapphire sexual chocolate
really yeah? Yeah, Like, hey, guys, you comes sexual all
right? Here she comes to one, two, three songs, gentleman,
all eyes front and the center your favorite of mine, Chloe, Chloe.
He's only got one more, and her clitterists will be leaving the stage,
right, Chloe in her clit. It's terrible. I would get fired immediately.
I would get fired, all right. I noticed something today, and
you you drive around a lot, I do, and I don't know if
you've seen this or not. I saw class of twenty twenty four, so
I know high school graduateations are coming up. It feels like I would think
it's not for like two more weeks if I remember correctly, from when my
guys graduated. But I did see a lot of kids around it and on
like the back of the car is a class of twenty twenty four, and
then it put out the person's cash app and their Venmo. I heard you
say something about that. I've not seen that at any cash app and Venmo,
and I thought, do people actually send money? Well, you have
to be stopped and not right. But let's say you're parked at Wegmans and
I just see because all it's giving you is the name it's after some stranger.
So if they're taking their ays, but hey, it's free publicity,
maybe some knucklehead will send you a dollar. I don't know money. That's
a great point, okay, because I because I was thinking of go because
back in our day, the only thing seniors had on their car was like
maybe peace out high school or something like that, you know, future future
Ivy League or I remember somebody had on because they were going to Yale,
and I remember one of the teachers going, I remember my graduation party.
There was enough a lot of people there. Yeah, and you made a
lot of money. But I go, now, when your your windows become
crowdfunding, that was a little different to me. And I started to think,
like it felt like begging, and I thought, my kid just graduating
here being greedy like, well, I I don't know, because it feels
like begging like but but spoiled kid begging? But would that not be that
would be a good life lesson. Maybe you don't your parents, don't have
a lot of friends, or you have a small family and you don't get
as much as the guy down the street or someone in your class. Tough
nic people make more friends to get older. We hustle, hustle, hustle,
hustle. You don't want to make friend it's quality instead of quantity.
And you should learn that that you will find that more and as I'm sure
you have at a later age, that it is the quality of friends.
Yes, yes, there's a lot of I don't know if you call them
cliches or they're saying if you can out your true friends. On one hand,
you're doing better than half of everybody else in the world. If you
can die with one true friend that you've done all right things of that nature.
Really, who says these things? No one's ever said ship to me.
But I'm telling you so now you know, it's like, all right,
it's how many friends? How many friends? Could you call it?
Three thirty in the morning, I'm in jail, Come help me, and
that would be I'll be right there. I can think of two off the
top of my head. Maybe three, maybe three? Yeah, me too.
Oh look at you, buddy, look at this I get Yeah.
Well, here's the problem. By the way, if I don't get me
out of jail, I can't open the bar. Listen, if that were
to happen to me, I may not be able to call anybody because two
or three of those guys may be with me. Those are the same friends,
Like you know, we shouldn't do this, But I'm with you.
That's to make you don't get into it exactly exact. I'll be there,
I'll have your back. And the next thing you know, they're more fucked
up than anybody. Right, Yeah, that's usually me. That's you.
You get fucked up, lady, No, No, not at all at
a good man. Glad to hear that not a chance. Oh my god,
did not at all. I'm gonna start putting my Venmo on the side
of my car. If people could do it, help me drink well,
because I was thinking about this, I go doug if some like, if
I go to a friend's graduation, like a friend and their kid is graduating
or something, it usually will cost me in a card one hundred and fifty
maybe two hundred bucks for one person. Well, if I yeah, the
last graduation I went to, I gave a two hundred dollars gift. Oh
my god, how close are We're close? That's a going rate, I
thought. I don't fifty dollars I have no, I don't know it probably
is. I don't think there's a going rate. I don't I Dow's change
over there. It's not twenty in the But I'm going if you could venmo.
Let's say I go to the party. It loses every wall. Here's
the great thing cheaper for me. If I'm venmoing you seventy five, if
I got to look you in the face and hand you a card, you're
getting more money from me. But if I can go home and send you
a Venmo, I would be appreciated. I think they should be learned as
a child that you know, people give what they can, yes, and
don't expect too much. No, I don't think the kid. No one
expected that. I just that was just what I Then if you get more,
you're like, oh my god, yes, right, Bill Moran gave
me a card two hundred dollars, like I have an idea. By the
way, he owes daddy a hundred. I think he got a little bit.
I'll cole Bill drinks a lot. Tommy so well, like weddings,
people have registries, right, you get your comforter or your silverware or this
kind of thing. What if they also put their venmo on there and would
take cash? That bothering. You know, they're talking about the nation going
cash list. I think they're just ruined an awful lot of things. The
special feeling, the meaning of going out, getting her card, writing a
little something special. And then here I'm saying to me to you, here's
what I like about the Venmo thing. Okay, now I know you know,
but here's I'm going to say what I do like about it. I
don't have to go buy a car. I don't have to order it being
lazy, I don't have to order anything in Amazon. I don't have to
really think, you know, all I have to do is just go seventy
five dollars poom. And by the way, Tommy, I can't make your
graduation party. Yeah, how great? Is it all done on your all
done? It's all done on my phone drinking and that's it. Got better
things to do. Then you can't pay your bar tab and you're texting to
me, hey, get you send me that Venmo pack. I'll get you
next week with eighty five promise. Here would be a good experiment. Now,
what if you were driving down the road and you see like you know
you and you know the parts of the area, and that happens all over
the country where people hold up signs you know, have a blessed day,
and they're usually homeless or something. You haven't seen the habit. I've never
seen hal a blessed I've had half a blessed day on a car. But
we got the corner of I've seen in our city, goodman, Yes,
I know exactly where you are. There's a lot of corners with a lot
of people. Yeah, so they standard What if they put a cash app
or PayPal thing on there. Now I'd be a little upset they have a
bank account, but it would be an easier way for you to just let
me ask you something. When you look at somebody at a corner, what's
the first thing you look at? What's the first thing I look at?
I don't because I don't want to make contact because I don't. How terrible
is that? How terrible is that? You know what I sometimes do?
I look and I go, you don't want you want to know what I
look at? See, You're you're gonna be more judgmental, and I'm gonna
be every day, I'm gonna be more and I'm gonna be kinder than you
because I am a kinder person than you. I realized that in life,
really I'm softer than you. I am a soft I have a soft,
warm heart. I gotta maybe a little bit of a rough exterior. But
you have a soft exterior but a rough heart interior. Oh you're steel.
You're galvanized in their buddy, You're galvanized. You're like, they go fuck
yourself kind of guy. Like if it gets too far, I think you
look to see are they up right? And have two legs that could walk
them to a job and make them work. That's not it. Clothes Okay,
okay, what is it? I look at their shoes. You're wearing
seventy five dollars sneakers. How do you know how much they are all beat
up? They're not beat up. They're out there with with knife something.
Now this isn't everybody. But if you're saying, yes, what do I
look at? Look at their shoes, go up to the pants and they
holes or anything. Okay, their sure, they've got the windbreaker on with
a Nike swish. Yeah, okay, they've got the backpack or they went
they bottle water. They're all set up, Yeah, to go out for
the day and just stand here. Yeah. So if you're if if you
could do that, then you can get your ass out of bed and go
to a job. But what if they can't. What if they're like if
they're they they have psychosis and the nuttiness and ship breakers. The job out
there for everybody there is, yeah, okay a nutty person's job. What
strip club? There? You go? You can do yard work, you
can do I will agree, I would rather I think get how far we've
let people just do well. I was thinking about this a lot. I
don't know why. I spent way too much time thinking about the PayPal and
Venmo that I saw on the side of the car, because I went you
know, as I started to say, if my son did this, and
he recently graduated college, I would be very bothered by that. I would
ask him not to do that, even though it would be none of my
business, probably because he is an adult from a different generation. Oh you
were you were well, yea. At fourteen, I was in graphics class
at high school, so I was. I printed out flyers, not like
you print out your computer today. He had to photoshop it, take a
picture and then you put it on a printing press. And I had fifty
or sixty of those. I went up and down the street. Hey,
my name is Doug Phelps. I live at such and such a place.
I'll mow your lawn for ten dollars fifteen if it's a bigger yard. Yeah,
and I think I got four maybe five? Yeah. Perfect. That's
how I started making money before sixteen with them I was doing. I'd been
working all my life, so you know I did that. Get out there
pulling weeds for a French retired French chef. At eight, he hired me
to pull weeds from his guard I think he was just wanted he wanted to
look at you. No, he was Charles Vian, the late Charles VIRIONI
ran one of the ten best restaurants in bill Moren. Is coming over today,
going to make him some crumpesss. He's six foot two and I was
a blue I was eight years old. Eight. Yeah, I was pulling
weeds at eight because he just thought kids should be working. So he came
over and asked my mom, and so I did that, and I mowed
lawns and at fifteen. Now this is what I was thinking. Okay,
I don't know because I hear all the stuff and I but I say,
like, I work it. I live in my bubble right. My son
showed up here the other day because he works for McCarthy's who put up all
the tents around Canal Days, and he loves that stuff. And he's been
working wegman, sea breeze, all these jobs since before he could drive.
So but when I was fifteen, I worked on a like a homebuilder's crew,
a small home builder, and we were building two story condos and My
job was clean up, and one of my jobs was to get up on
the roof sweep the sawdust off before the roofers came up to lay down the
tar paper. Now, I go, if you asked the kid to do
that today, who's got Vemo and PayPal and says you're gonna tell you to
go fuck yourself, He'll just go putt. I'm gonna take shit and hopefully
I'm gonna make it rich. I'm not gonna do anything or PayPal me fifty
bucks and I'll go up there and do it. You know, That's the
only thing I could think, because I went, Man, whatever they asked
me to do, I did. I didn't even think about it right as
it was work. If I think now, like if I honestly God,
if I pull in to pick up my kid. I used to ride my
bike to this place. It was a couple of times over. It was
probably a good twelve mile ride. I would ride there and back every day
in the summer. And I think, if I pulled the hint to the
construction site and I saw I have a fourteen year old son, if I
saw him on the roof sweeping, I mean, what the fuck are you
doing. Why are you nose harness, no belt, no nothing, just
you know you're up there. Osha, Well ocean would go crazy. Now,
well ocean would go crazy. But the is a scam. Uh.
I think a lot of it's a scam, if you want to know the
actual truth. I always I think I said that. I told I think
it was you or somebody on the podcast. I was saying, Uh,
you know, I always think there's got to be some money in this catch
and release, so to speak of, for New York State and the Kia
Boys and all these things that are going on. I said, because try
to do anything at your house, and you got to get a permit,
and if you don't, they come and they inspect and they'll find and if
you don't fix it, and there's so much regulation and so much bullshit.
And if you've owned a house and you've ever had asbestos stuff in your home,
like I had a leak in my right so the compound had asbestos in
it. And I remember my wife being concerned because I go, it could
be because the house is built in sixty three, could be asbestos. And
she's like, well, what are you doing. I'm cutting in the scene
and go if it's wet, it's not airborne, right, that's what asbestos.
You wet it down if it's not wet, if it's I was wet
because it had a fucking leak. So I was no, No, I
don't know. I'm not getting hot. I'm just yet. You are not
getting hot. That's your soft hair. Ask a civil question to your wet
editor. Did it No? I didn't fucking what? Okay, you know
it was the hands it was. It was a leak. It was like
a pinhole leak in the fill line to the toilet. So I had run
across this beam and it was dripping down. And I'm just saying that when
I cut in, it was already wet. So I knew the asbestos is
fine. But we let the homeowners know, the homeowners insurance know. Well,
now there's a whole big to do. Here's my point. If I
did this myself, if I rip that out, put new drywall in,
fixed the pipe, put new drywall, patch, did the whole thing.
I could have taken that asbest, put it in black garbage bags, thrown
it in my toe and left it to go to the garbage. Nobody wiser.
Nobody's the wiser, but there's no law against it. The problem is
there's there's asbestos removal companies and all that have got have to go through and
get approved. So how come one and not the other? You know what
I'm saying. And I guess it's it's more of a private thing if you
if you know, don't ask, don't tell. I guess, I guess
that's the thing. But otherwise it's a whole fucking to do. Man,
we had to move out of the house. You've got you know, big
tunnels of plastic ventilation outside, and it's and it was in the compound.
It wasn't in the walls. It was just in the compound. I don't
know why. I don't know, because usually that was a fire retardant.
That's why you had asbestos curtains and things that kids used to hang on and
to swing back and forth in high school and on the gymnasium. Probably your
ropes in the gym were made of Yeah, kitchen mits and everything. Yeah,
we're not melting, No, not at all at all. We're backing
a tougher generation now. Everything is I have I have a I do have
a thing. I'd like to test this theory go ahead me No, no,
okay, I think if we could do an experiment. I'd like to
do this experiment. We take a young, attractive nineteen year old girl.
Ok We get a cardboard sign that says help my dad, keep me off
the pole, and it has her cash app and venmo how much he thinks
she gets. Maybe she gets nothing. I think of Hanks. But maybe
she gets no money because people want to see her on the pole. That's
the only thing I can take backfiring on this, but I go it could
be a good experiment. Keep me off the pole? Yes? To get
this podcast shut down? Why would we get shut down? It's an experiment,
experiment, it's a social experiment, social sciences. Yes, that's who
are we going to get to agree to this? We have, well,
we gotta find I don't know any you know what, I have young sons.
I'm sure they know some hot nineteen year old that would all right they
dress up? No, no, you know what? So there is a
video I want to do because I saw some guy walking through town on the
first warm day, just right down Main Street one o'clock in the afternoon,
had his shirt off, lily white, little pudgy out of shape kind of
disgusting, and I go, oh, that's the guy who's got a lot
of confidence. I go, but wouldn't it be funny if we had an
ordinance that you couldn't walk around topless, like you couldn't have your shirt off
right unless you met a certain criteria, or maybe there's an age restriction if
you're over thirty five you can have your shirt off or whatever. So I
want to film this thing where I'm walking with my shirt off and the cops
light me up whoo, and then they're writing me a ticket, and my
son, who's in phenomenal shape, all jacked up, comes walking up and
goes, hey, dad, what's going on you? Geah, I'm getting
a ticket for having my shirt off. And he's standing with his shirt off,
and the officer goes, hey, I have a great day, looking
great, buddy, you know that kind of thing. But I get the
ticket and he doesn't. I think it would be funny. I think it'd
be funny video to do. I don't know, Okay, I had I
was in the middle of Uh be funnier if you did it? Did it
with this? Yeah? Chip and Whales, Chip, Well, Chip and
Whales, what happened to the diet. I'm down, buddy, I'm down
to down. How much I didn't bring that good? I didn't bring in
the scale. But you got this. Doug has this magic scale. It's
like fucking Disney. It's ship just I don't know where does it exist?
Is there no gravity in places? There's no funny place it's oh, there's
no gravity in there. It's an anti gravity. Because so I started out
at like two thirty three, and I'm down now on the same scale to
twenty six. Okay, my scale says I was two nineteen today before I
came here, but it said two nineteen last week as well. You said
yes, and I'm telling you right now, when you stepped on this scale,
what were you two thirty three? Yayo thirty one? What are you
stepping on? Nate? Well, you think you take those clothes? Wait,
you take those two things off, and you're dropping, Yes, twelve
pounds stiff in scales. Maybe yours is broken a little heavier. It could
be right, it's a possibility in your theory. Yes, I'm gonna I'm
gonna say in your theory. Out of the two of us, and I
do think you know your disappointment to your dad, But I did. I'm
gonna say my scale is going to be more accurate than yours than yours,
because I'm gonna say why. I don't know, Well, because I've been
to your place and you've got you've got swing sex traps all around the place
from your plants that have nothing to do. Actually, you can buy a
sex wing. Add there was a joke the other day somebody told me,
and we're talking about sex swings. So I looked at Amazon. You know
what they sell, the sex wings? Yeah, is that a joke?
No, you can. You can buy them right on. Yeah, for
yourself, not for your plants. My plants are doing good, by the
way, I'm sure your plans are your My plants are doing better because of
you. And that's not bullshit. And you bought those little things. You
know what, what if we put it a plant on a stand with a
cardboard. I need new soil, please, venmo oh, we could try
that. That's a good social experiment. That or the nineteen year old,
or to help my dad keep me off the ball. Yeah, I saw
that was ariguate and Saint Paul, he had pants halfway down. He looked
like his face just got smashed with an iron. He was all sick in
the face and then it looked like the other half was on his shirt,
no cardboard, just walking around with his hand out the face A clue in
the world. We used to have places for social services to take people like
that. That just got so sad, I mean mentally ill. They could
cause an accident. You're absolutely right. Somebody joked jumping into traffic yesterday on
Lake Avenue as a joke. Yeah. That I was coming up to get
after I just got an abbots and he was walking across the street with his
girls back. Yeah right, they busted and he kind of gave it the
jump like he was going to try why I don't know, and then he
he just he just stood up and smiled, Ah, I gotcha. I'm
like, that's hot. I got you if I swerve, and now how
fast you're going on? Like forty thirty thirty? Okay, even so a
lot of damage could be done. Do you remember the old Yes, a
tremendous amount. I don't know why people think that the ship is funny dud.
Yeah, I don't either. God not a grumpy old man. But
I mean, you get realistically I would never do that. It's dumb.
You never did anything like that. I don't know. Maybe in nineteen twenty,
but I remember guys laying down in the middle of the street and carvers
revving up and locking their brakes to see if they could stop before they hit
them. Ooh, I don't ask. It was a bunch of dumb country
kids. I don't know. We didn't have I didn't have video games.
That's what it is. I didn't have video games as a child. These
were we had to invent shit to do to entertain ourselves. Just climb a
tree and run around naked. And I took ships out of a tree as
a bird and made my friend jump out the old fishing hole, and I
did do that. We saw a rock at Mini SU's window and I did
not rock. Did not do that. No, we did cow tipping.
You did. I don't believe you can. I will tell you that,
yes I tried, but I don't think you can actually do it. I
don't think you just maybe, but I just I remember. I just don't
think it's real. Yeah, I don't think they get And then, because
I also remember my friend's dad was a vet, I wish I could call
him to find out. But we pulled into his house once, and you
know, cows have multiple stomachs, and in order to inseminate them, you
have to go through like the wreck them into the stomach and all this stuff.
And his dad was shouldered deep in a cow's ass and I couldn't breathe.
I just thought it was the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
He was like completely disappeared in there, and then he pulls out and
it was an entire glove all the way up to his sleeve. And that's
how you inseminated a cow. If you were ever wondering, if you ever
thought, how do I do that? I how you do it? In
the end, I'll say this, maybe kids are savvyer today by putting that
on there, because to your point, there may be you know what's gonna
happen. We're gonna get that sappy story. You know how you hear this
every once in a while, you get the woman who goes man, I
was really down on my luck. I'm working my shift at a hop and
I got a twenty five thousand dollars tip. If somebody sees this, some
I don't know, benevolent guy goes like, my family's a pack of assholes.
I'm just gonna leave my money to this kid and pays for your first
year tuition and room and board. That's over probably forty five story. When
they happened, Oh are they for that person? Yeah, for that person.
That's nice to know there's good people's doing the no idea. I'm not
saying you say that. I say most people do say that. Yes,
but see this is your soft exterior until I said to you, Hey,
Doug, why don't you actually do it? What the fuck? Doe good
out there and get a job, actually work? Yeah, well she is
working and she gets a tip. So if she earned a thousand dollars tip,
ain't good for her? Or maybe she was a really pretty nineteen year
old and then't have to be on the street. That's right. To help
my dad keep me off the pope off the pole, Well, maybe we
should just get a pole and then you dance and women and we'll get We'll
get the old fishing net, Hank if you want Hank, if you want
to Timmy and you do Venmo, and I'll have the fishing, you know,
I'll have the fishing on the pole. I'll have the fishing net,
and we'll see who gets more money five hours. There you go. We'll
pick a corner. We'll remember a pole. Bill be sitting there in his
onesie and with his venmo, and I'll be rocking it out to a C.
D C on the pole with a fishing net and going out getting the
money. And we'll see who makes the most money in five hours. Okay,
if I can last five hour, I don't think I could last.
I need some sun, Tanda, We need a lot of everything. We'll
take a moment, a story about a bad day at work. I have
a bad day at work. This is one of my top at all.
We'll get to that next. But first, Connors and First, because when
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drinks, and a whole lot of fun. See an Iron Smoke Distillery where
every night's a party. Put the cake, got my coffee and think would
be every so often, have a loser's day, prayed for all my friends,
Drink up life like a river till the pets man delivers. Smile and
know I love the end. Chris Trapper used to be with the Push Stars.
Actually I become very close with my brother. Tours around a lot,
will play anything from a coffee house to theaters to stadiums. The guy's done
at all and he just loves to play music. Yeah, he just loves
to play. I always love this song and it kind of goes with what
we're talking about today or what we're gonna talk about now because the care somebody's
having a bad day. No, somebody's having a bad day. Listen to
this news story and just try to picture this happening. Shocking turn of events
in Lincoln today that's been making headlines across the country. It's what's being called
a medical mishap. When a woman thought to be dead started breathing in a
funeral home tuck just about to spit out of water. That was the frise.
Come on, these stories are made well, I don't think this one
is, and I'll explain. Here we go ten elevens. John Brinwalds has
details on what we've learned so far. This morning, just before ten,
a Lincoln woman on hospice was pronounced dead at Waverley's Mulberry Nursing Home. Then
she came here to the Central Lincoln Mortuary. Now, no one with the
butheris Maser and Love Funeral Home wanted to go on camera. Of course they
don't, you dope today, but you can imagine the shock that some of
their employees were in for when they discovered that Lincoln woman still breathing from a
highly unusual dispatch call made by an employee. Just I actually in high school.
I had a very good friend. His father owned a funeral parlor,
and sometimes we would sneak the hearse out to go on double dates. Sometimes
there was five of us. Is this a joke? But fucking god,
damn it, you keep going. That was a joke in here. He
used to sneak the herse out and go on double dates. And sometimes there
was five of us because there was a stiff in the back. And sometimes
O, man, can I come on? Keep going? Old lady's dead.
It's before they were about to be Listen, this is the nine to
one one call again their process. A seventy four year old female that was
believed to be deceased and brought here is now uh agnal breathing on the table.
Lincoln Fire and Rescue transported the seventy four year old to a hospital.
The Lancaster County Sheriff's Office is still investigating the case, but so far they
say it was just a mistake. We called Elisso about an hour ago.
Well here's whether she's still I have. I have a lot of thoughts of
this, tremendous amount of thoughts. Got this because first of all, to
your point, well they go no, not the guy. I know you
don't like my universe ship, but it's true. It's all true. I
try it. I like it. Try it, try my universe ship sometime.
Go ahead with so good for me right now. But I I had
a lot of a lot of a lot of things happen in my world.
Yeah yeah, no, here are my thought. First, you're to your
point, pretty big mistake. Who gets in trouble for that? And goala
breathing? I think that's what they called. It is basically stroker cardiac arrest.
It's that hyper like you're just trying to get oxygen in. So you're
at the end, right, You're at the end. Did she end up
dying in a later time? I would assume the woman did. She was
in hospice already. I think hospice declared her dead. Maybe they weren't getting
a pulse or or seeing any breathing. And then you know, our body
does weird things on the way out. It just starts gasping for air and
and I don't know it would freak you out. I would say, somebody's
got a doctor has to call the time and date, right, Uh,
usually that or a nurse does at that at a hospice, at a hospice,
Yeah, at hospice, because yeah, I don't know if it's I
have no idea. I have no idea. You're right, it could.
We'll call it sloppy work. We'll call it slappy work. But what if
you were working at this funeral home and you go no, like it's the
end anyway, don't make don't make de nyme on one call. Don't do
the call. Just gasp it out working today? Dug and Bill? What
happened? Bill? I think she's still alive. Doug, Yeah, Bill,
get a pillow, Get a pillow? All right? Are you buying
the first round? If you hit me the pillow, I will. I'm
dog don who's gonna Know's gonna know? Who's gonna know? And I'm thinking,
if that's my loved one, if that's my mom, right, oh
god, no, listen to me. I'm not putting the pillow over.
They're doing it. But if I if here's the thing, I'm pissed off
because now I got I gotta pay for transportation from the hospice of the body
to the funeral pallor oh wait, not dead. Now I'm gonna pay for
an ambulance to take you to the hospital. No, save me the money.
She's going out anyway. She doesn't remember any of this. She's not
the person and in all series, that's not the person that I remember,
right who's having angola breathing and anybody, that's what it is. It's stroker
another thing. You're told your mother's dead in your heartbroke in your crime,
and then four hours later, hey, uh yeah, your mom's alive.
Yeah like what No, and then you have to wait again for your mom
to die. I mean, I'm going more. No funeral poll, do
me a favor, do nothing, let it choke out, or put a
pillow, do something. I don't start in bombing train the blood out.
You were bobbing yourself this say, I don't know what you're talking about.
I have no idea what bomb. I don't know what they called an Ireland
Guinness. No, come on, mister universe. Look because because conscientious people
at the at the funeral home, they were conscientious, had to make the
nine one one alcohol. I gotta pay more. I gotta pay for mom
to be transported back to Now let that guy's over. I think the person
who ever screwed up would would pay for it. It's on us. Yeah,
well, I hope right. I don't even know that. I have
no idea, Like I couldn't declare someone I have no idea. But let
me ask you this. If a relative dies in the middle of the night,
h huh, aunt, uncle, may bee, a parent, I
don't know, middle of the night dies. Do you want a phone call
at two or three in the morning? Yeah you do? Okay, why
not wait? Because I'm I'm like, it's they're stressful and they're long.
They're gonna be dead at nine when I get up. Tell me then,
just tell me? Then? Why are you interrupting my sleep? Let me
go? They're gone? What am I going to do? What am I
going to do? What am I gonna do? Get up and st a
pillow and make sure what am I gonna do? I could have been in
a great dream. I could have been a great rim great sleep. They're
still dead. I'll wait till seven thirty. There's a little plight more polite,
you know, even at seven thirty if the phone rings are seven thirty
years ago? Oh what's going on? Yeh? I the only three am
call that I I I've had. Billy, get over here, I need
something. No, I have to not have one of those. No,
no, two am no, hell no booty call? No, No,
I don't think I've gotten a booty call. Have you ever hit a booty
call? No? I think I just went and got the booty baby.
You didn't need a call, that's right, who needed a call? No,
there's a next I can call? I think, Yeah, I'm sure
there is. I don't know how you signed up for that? How to
sign up for the next kid? Oh, you're saying, usually on somebody's
proxy. If you're somebody's proxy, like, so, do you know who
your proxy is? In case of emergency they call? What do they call?
Do you have it filled out anywhere? You probably should? Well,
you should put like your sister or somebody like that. Yes, absolutely,
you should. Probably Bill Moran, give me something to talk about. Yeah,
first, what time is it? Call me back at seven? Fum
die call him at ten thirty? So his hangs over is almost over?
Do you have a proxy in case anything? I call my I have it.
I changed it to my mom. Separate now your brother? No,
your mom? Yeah, I figure my brother's got enough going on with his
kids and stuff, you know, Yeah, might forget to tell you I'm
still I'll be dead. It doesn't matter, right, But in a case
of emergency, like if there's an emergency or something, and then my mom
is great. I mean, moms are great. They're like the phone tree.
You remember the phone tree. We used to have a phone tree at
church. It was like the prayer tree. They called it. And so
and so. You would call up and go, hey, so and so
needs prayer. They just got a new car accident. Then your your job
was to call the next person on theline, the next person online. Yeah,
because again the par tree soft exterior, right, doesn't wait, you
had the soft exterior. I fucked that all. Now how about this?
How about this? Somebody dies? I saw something and I like this a
lot. A woman's husband died. He was thirty nine years old, complications
of a stroke, right, and something that unforeseen. H three kids.
I think the kids were twelve, ten and eight. So she didn't have
a funeral. She had a funne role. And what she did was put
venmo in their pay by that coffee you got it, put a venmo up
there and said, help me cover these costs, help him go to heaven.
No, she had she they took all this guy's favorite things. And
they had a big party in their backyard and like all his favorite albums.
He loves sharing music with people, so if you wanted you could take an
album with you, he would paint. They had all his paints, you
know, paintings out there and drawings that he did out there. They played
his music. They had all his favorite food, which is like chips and
dips, which may have led to the stroke. I don't know. I'm
just and whips. She said, he had a or chains and whips.
Yeah, he had a giant record collection that he loved sharing with people who
appreciated painting. No, they were just coming in shared. Her thing was
like friends and family who loved him and knew him. And she wanted this
more because she wanted. Basically, she was doing it, and I go,
Bolly, I've never heard of that. We've all heard about the celebration
of life, but I mean, what if you turned it into a bit
of a carnival. Well, that's why I played keg of my coffin.
Put a keg of my coffin. Let's have a little fun. But you
hear people, you know, I want, I just want. Well people
say that, but then usually what happens. They're sad, they're morbid.
Sure, they're this, I'm not saying this, she said it was it
was great to see my three kids smile. And I'm sure. Look a
random Thursday at four o'clock you're on the ball field and you see your buddy
Ryan's dad in the stands, and yours isn't there because he's dead. That's
a feeling that probably never goes away, so you know, to compound it,
she wanted the funeral to be a pleasant memory or a more positive memory
for the kids. I really thought that was like one of the greatest parenting
things I had ever heard. But then I started to think, what would
be at your funnel? What would be at mine? Yeah? I would
probably have it. Can we get your wait now, listen, I have
an idea? Oh just yeah, can we get those fingerpaints? You do
that? You what are the finger paints that you did? Didn't you finger
paint? No? What was sponge? Oh? Sponge? Late? Like
you taking it everybody's money for this podcast, you're sponging. I think they
could do a DJ booth where people get to get up there and introduce their
family like you do a weddings. Uh no, I have thought about this.
I should probably get a will. If I I would, I don't
know if i'd want to be I'd probably get be laid out so everybody could
have closure and then have a second full at O Lachlan's and be cremated and
throw my wait, you'd have you'd have like an open casket, so people
would who needs closure from you? Uh? People? I owe money to
dancer. Make sure he's really dead. Hey, we're coming in with a
pin and a mirror. Make there that motherfucker's dead. I don't want to
think about stuff like that, although you do. Yeah, I mean,
have you ever been at like a really the weirdest remembrance type thing? I
remember, and it was it was an open casket. It was called a
celebration, but there were people taking pictures and posing at the Yeah, I'd
never seen that. I've never seen that. I had never seen a line
of pictures now, yeah, you know, yeah, I think the more
the merrier, and the pictures to show your life. You know, there's
not many open cat Yeah, I love this idea. I want carnivals all
our pictures from Yes, I want the podcast like like like okay, here's
a more. I want people juggling. I want a fucking carnival. I
want a carnival. I want people to have a great time. I want
bands and music and storytelling. I would love everybody to get up and have
the bills rolling the dice like, well that's over over seven, the podcast
set up, and you get to tell like we have somebody who kind of
runs point on it, right, But everybody, if you feel like it,
you could get up and you could tell a story. Ye five minutes,
yeah or more, whatever it takes. You get any time. Plenty
of times people just do. You can tell the most salacious, awful,
horrible stories. They don't have to be loving. As my grandfather said,
everybody becomes a saint when they die. At son of a bitch, he'll
be saying, he said, uh so yeah, okay, I would say,
I don't believe that one. But let it let it all, let
it all go, like and I know that I know he's listening right now,
your grandfather, No, no, your dad. Oh, but it's
but at some point, like how about Elvis impersonators you come out and is
at his funeral. I just want to say, everybody for coming out see
my day at a funeral and just you know, it's on a Wednesday,
and I want to thank our neighbor Bette for bringing her hound dog, and
uh, we're going down to the bar and I have doubled eggs, and
yeah, does your dad like to havevile leggs like mine? Which I would
want, Guinness Jamison. I'd like to have like maybe a party at Montconnery's.
And then what I'd really like is to your point of closure, I
like this, give me a Viking funeral on the canal. You just send
me off and then someone shoots a flaming arrow and the whole like, the
whole thing is just it's touched in gas and you just see this giant flame
and I go off into the as it does down to the bottom of the
canal. Why can't that work? Because you don't disintegrate enough and you got
a dead half a burned body. There's other half burned bodies in that canal.
We got cars at the bottom of it. They didn't even know there
was a car until they drained it once. I'm gonna be more toxic than
that. I will. I like this idea. I will rent a boat.
I put your dead body in a dinghy and I will take you to
the middle of Lake Ontario. I don't want like, no, we're not
going to the canal. I want the canal. I want. I want
the canal. And I want somebody to stand on the main street bridge in
downtown Fairport. Okay, Now I want you to picture this if you're not
familiar with Fairport. Very picturesque, very very beautiful village, very northeast,
nice cozy village. And I want somebody to shoot an arrow that goes up
in the air and arcs down in the flame, and then you just see
and you know what I want. But I want some fireworks and things to
go off at the same time and everybody's like yeah, and then and then
a band just starts in right away, you know, even after midnight.
Yeah, we could have that rocking Wow. I was thinking more like the
rolling Stones or something like that. Whatever you want. A stone song?
Yeah, put the funeral, yes, exactly. Funnel. This would be
a funnel, all right. I got arrows here, I got flaming arrows,
three for ten dollars. We got three tries for ten dollars. No,
no, we need a marchman. We need a marchman. I want
one arrow, one arrow that what if you don't get it, what if
the wind takes it? I want you to do it. Like when I
was got a zippo, A real cocky jerk, and it didn't always work
for me. But why I played darts and I was close to winning,
and all I needed was like a bulls eye. I would take the three
darts, I'd drop two on the ground and I'd just take one and I'd
look at them and then go. Every once in a while I would hit
it. That would be my cocky move. I wouldn't even look at the
dark board. I just look it at the person right in the eyes,
and it's cold. So I had some good endings and darts. Yeah,
yeah, like what it used to be. Really, no, this is
not a joke. I used to be really good at bullseye because I played
you years ago. I'll work in retail and I would lose all the time.
And somebody told me, if you can hit bulls and you get good
balls, you'll win the majority of your game. So I got really good.
And the gentleman's game you go to twenties nineteen eighteen. Now I'm playing
for shots, I'm gonna ruin you on bulls. So there's been a few
times that I've needed three bulls and we're talking shit back and forth. I'm
like, hey, do you like history? Like yeah, I'm like,
well, I love history too. I love the medieval Ages with King Arthur
and the round table and all the nights. I go, you remember the
nights? He goes, yeah, go you do. I says, there
a white Knight, the Red Knight and good night. Yeah. Now did
people get pissed at that? Oh? Yeah? Really? Why? I
would. My cousin Melissa, who I used to play darts with every now
and then, she remember one time, I want to three. I was
just crushing these guys and went right for the juggler and won, and she's
like she turns around to the other team and goes, yeah, sometimes he's
a but you want to win. It's part of it. And I always
say, I didn't make up the game. No, I kind of like
it. I think it's a bulls Eyer way to go. I love it.
I have friends that are playing the A League and they they've traveled Chicago
for the National Darts and then they've gone the Western Division and then they've made
it to Las Vegas for the world. One of my favorite favorite I think
one of my friends is ranked nineteenth in the in the world right now is
plastic plastic Yeah, not steel tip, that steel tip, but nineteenth in
the whole world, but very impressive. Yeah, I think it's very impressive.
So I love the guys that show up at area bars, local places
with their own darts. They come with their own darts. And I have
a friend who owns a pub and we were in another establishment and a couple
walks in and I knew one of the couple. They were a sibling of
a very close friend of mine, and her husband had his own darts and
use all cocky putting it in there. My friend whos a lot of guys
with those, My friend who owned smoked them. Yeah, like grab the
bards. And that's really embarrassing for the guy that comes in with his own
starts of oh and tips and specialists. You got it. You know he's
buying drinks. All right, We'll take a moment, Doug. Something has
gone back into the public domain and you may be interested in trying to grab
it. Okay, yes, this could be for you, It could be
for me. We'll get to that next. But first, if you're ready
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at Jojo Bestrown Wine Bar. Welcome back, everybody. You have Round number
three out here in Fairport, the number one podcast and all of America,
the one, the only, Mister Bell Moray maybe one of my all time
favorites. Cocker Yeah, Joe, you know what? Okay, Guys that
I forget about and I could listen to all day Joe Cocker, Bob Seger's
got some great I was I was listening to Bob Steger, Bob seekers guys
with so many share I was listening to Share in the way here, and
then I changed to Bob Steeger. Is it it is pride minds? I
forget about that. Every day is a rainbow being here christ So, but
go on. Segar has a lot of hits. He's a lot of Yeah.
And I saw him in Rochester last time, and then I saw him
Buffalo year. Some of my favorite ones that are were not radio staples.
When I say radio staples, you know all the time. Yeah, he
had a four fourteen piece band. Wow, he played twenty two. I
mean, I'm disappointed. I'm sure I had opportunities and just first time I
ever saw him, and just amazing every song, you know, and then
you look at his greatest hits and he didn't play camp Man do he didn't
play this one, but he lose Coming Out Tonight. I love that song.
I love this song too. And there's a couple that I've heard I
don't know, and I didn't go through. I didn't know. I didn't
catch the names. It was a great song and I've tried to look him
up on Spotify and Google and you have to go through every album, which
would take a whole day. He's probably got well the Tough Party. Yeah,
you know, that's why the greatest hits albums were so great because everybody
had him. But it's those deeper cuts that weren't maybe on there that are
fun. And I wonder if because of streaming services, are we losing that
a little bit? You know what I mean? Because we get I can
just punch in, go to adding streaming service. I can punch in an
artist. I like, they'll give me similar artists around it. I'll get
some some of those songs. But I don't get you know that there's something
about the album thing that that I mean, I CMF just plays the same
stuff and every twenty minutes has got to be led Zeppelin. I'm like,
yeah, well, I mean that that. I can tell you from having
spent time in radio that the music stations now are are programmed well but homogenized
because so it's the same. It's amazing in Rochester, I mean, who
is the twelve to four? They've yeah that they tried it with Marty Casper.
If she didn't work out. Then I think they're just using a woman
that records everything she in Rochester. No, I'm sure not, because I
did that out of all of Rochester. Because they make it. But I
was in Rochester, and I I was on ninety stations around the country doing
the exact same thing. Okay, so it's all the same music, right,
And I could hear myself. I would punch around the internet and I
would listen to myself in Raleigh and in Huntsville and in Bakersfield, California,
and this town and Illinois and all over, because it's the same thing,
and it is that, and I will I've said this before, I will
say it again to anybody who really gives a shit. I wish radio would
go small for the sake of radio small, being back to privately owned serving
the community that they're in, because that's how songs made it in the past,
like all of a sudden, a bunch of people in the like Okay,
I'll think of one that some people may know as Southside Johnny and the
Asbery Jukes probably didn't get a whole lot of national play, but became really
big in pockets of this country. But those it served that community people loved
it. They're his shows would sell out in Poughkeepsie and even up here in
excuse me, in Rochester, and so you had a bunch of this was
the one Skeeter Cheater Cheater Cheater Cheater was one from Rochester. Yeah, yeah,
And they had pretty much a regional type thing. And that's a cool
thing. It's a great thing for the band. It's a cool thing,
and it's sort of a lost maybe not. I mean, now there are
people who you could become a singer songwriter who you probably could make sixty seventy
thousand dollars a year if you hustled and did a ton of social media and
shit like that, ye traveled around and you could be regional and do well.
I don't know. I'm saying that I wish radio would go back to
that because now it's so big that everything has just become homogenized and they're being
squeezed out on the music side, not the personality side, but on the
music side a little bit. By all the streaming services. I can get
whatever I want on demand anytime I want anything, right, So why would
I punch on your radio station? Give me something that's going to be significantly
better that I can get somewhere else, and it's not as easy. And
I will tell you, like, if you like eclectic music and you don't
want to really think about what you put on, serious satellite is fucking on
the doors off things. Sure you've got Chris Stapleton, who I love,
get every station that you can imagine, every station you can imagine. And
then you've got the artists who have stations who talk about the music they loved
and why they loved this song by this other artist. That's fucking cool.
There's a DJ I want to hear seriously or what goal channel I got lost
in a couple of years. Fucking great, right, because Billy will tell
you the story behind the song. Yea, what inspired it? A ton
of yeah, same thing. Chris Stapleton very interesting because he talked about He
goes, I just heard him today on his station, unserious. And sometimes
you'll get some whiny old country on there, right into a Zeppelin song,
into like some kind of blues song. It's amazing and it's not your typical
radio station. Right, But he tells a story about open Up. I
think it was Waylon Jennings. He goes, uh, yeah, we got
to open up from Whalen Jennings. He goes, I was really excited.
I never got to meet Whalen at all. He goes. After the show,
Whalen's manager comes back and hands me a joint and he goes, this
is rolled by Whalen. He really liked your set. I think it was
Whalen Jennings. I hope I'm not getting this wrong. And he said,
I have that joint behind a framed piece of glass in my basement with a
little hammer that had says break in case of emergency. Whyalon Jennings And he's
like, it was really kind of cool, but he liked it, and
then he played a Whalen Jennings song. But that's the kind of shit you're
not, like, who knows that story but him? Right, I'm sure
he's told it before, but I hadn't heard it. And I go,
that's the thing that radio's missing, that intimacy with real knowledge, and that's
where you're right. In this town. Guys like Dave Kane loved music tremendously
and would tell you about it, and then you would see him out at
different concerts and different band bars. Back in the day, Honey Arcade or
yeah, wherever was playing music the Red Creek. You know, I got
into some huge fights over the years. Yeah, but I'm sure you still
you had drinking nights too. Dave was my first guest on the podcast.
Yeah, first guest in the pipes, but no one year. I'll just
tell this story again, but it was really bad at me. Dave got
very, very upset because Dave would buy Mambo shirts and these things, and
he would kind of funded himself to market, right, little marketing for his
own show, and a lot of the money went to the morning show because
that was where the company was making its most money. Right, get them
in in the morning. Hopefully he can hold the listeners all day. If
that's the case, it's great. And that show at the time was an
absolute juggernaut in the morning. So it was when training Camp first came to
Saint John Fisher. So we're talking like two thousand I've told this story.
I've since apologized to Dave. I Dave wrote a big, long memo about
how basically he gets no support, He gets nothing. Why does the morning
show get everything? This is ridiculous. I've asked for Cano shirts and now
what they had done was they made these sleeveless Wickaway shirts that said Wheeze on
them, and they hung them in every Buffalo Bills player's locker. And it
was a brilliant marketing move because they would wear them, they would take their
pats off, they'd be talking to ESPN, CBA, like from national to
local, and there was his name on everything. That was the point behind
it. So Dave writes these memos and he puts it in the GM's mailbox
and the and the program director's mailbox. So he leaves and I'm on after
Dave. I'm on do an afternoon Drive. It's like four thirty five o'clock
phone rings, hotline usually in hotline rings and radio station. You're in trouble.
It's Dave, And I said. He goes, hey, man,
listen, I thought better of this. Would you go and take the memos
out of the GM's mailbox and the program director's mailbox? And I said sure,
no problem, And he goes, all right, I'm going to call
you back just to make sure you got them. So I go in there
and the GM had already gotten his, and but the one was in the
program directors And then I read the memo and I'm fucking roaring to myself.
So I patched myself in via cell phone to the board and pretended it was
not the case that I broke into the mailroom and I got this memo and
I read it on the air. How old were you? Twenty eight?
Anything to say I shouldn't do this? Or are you kidding me? Every
time I've had the feeling I shouldn't do this, the next thought is,
come on, you know this will be great. So the next thing was
I went in and I pretended to break in. I think I actually did
have to break into the promotion's office, and I got out one of the
Wiiz shirts and I got a spray can and I put a big X through
wheeze and I spray painted Cano on it. And Cano. So the next
day I lived in Pittsford and I was going to bike over and see the
morning show because they were broadcasting from training camp. And I'm listening and they're
all laughing about it. But then when I get there, of course they
turn on me a little bit and go, how can be so mean to
Cano? What the fuck? And Kano was cool. Later that day he
corners me in the fucking mail room. I thought, he was gonna kick
my ass. I thought he was gonna kill me. I thought it was
funny. Oh, Theater of the Mine, a little play on it.
But the GM had walked in and saw Kaneways behind Kane's back, and he's
laughing at me because he knew Kato wanted to punch me right in the face.
Good Dave was always very good to me, very cool, very cools.
Debbie does Dallas, Huh, Debbie does Dallas the movie? I never
heard of it. Okay, I've only watched it once, two three thousand
times. It's in the public domain. What's that. Well, that means
that, like, I'm pretty sure that anybody can use it without having to
pay a license fee. So if you wanted to rent it whatever, I
think, you can just get it off the internet now and not have to
pay. It's like Happy Birthday was in the public domain and then somebody paid,
but I allegedly paid it I don't know, or ran out, but
they didn't because the company that produced it didn't secure the copyright correctly. Therefore,
it's now in public domain, meaning anybody can kind of grab it,
use it. You could use it clips of it, you could sample it
if you're a rapper. I don't know what the mones. I have no
idea. I always found that to be like the story behind it very sad.
W Does Dale's. Yeah, popularity was because you think it's a Dale's
Cowboys and it was just well it was. It was about like her being
how abuse she was by her husband and he pushed her into this, He
produced the film, he drugged her, he did all this stuff. Was
the Deep Throw. Yeah, with Linda Lovelace. There's been oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, that was that was. I don't remember what de Yeah
that was, that's right, that's right. Yeah, but I thought Debbie
doud Dallas said something like that to w Does Dell. So anyway, it's
in the public domain. So if you want to go in, there's a
recent deep throat movie. A lot of stars were in it within piss ten
years really. Yeah. I think Sharon Stone even played the mother in Deep
Throw. Yeah. It was about how she was brought up and the guy
she met and problems with family and then that with them and at the end
is where she on a MERV Griffin show. She had wrote a book about
being in porn and she was only in it for sixteen days. Yeah,
and you know, she's world famous, and I think she got paid fourteen
hundred dollars and we ended up making six hundred million. Yeah, god,
yeah, the producers. So I just saw something where there's a remote tribe
in the Amazon jungle and this isn't a joke, okay. And they got
hooked up to Elon Musk's starlink, so they're getting Internet and one of the
first things, probably freaking out, they watched Deep Throat, Got it.
They're saying that the elders are very concerned about the young people watching porn,
like because there's they had no access to this at all. Imagine going like,
imagine, like I can't. Everything's been evolution over years, right,
Mike jerkwater Town. You didn't get cabled in nineteen eighty nine, but you
got right and so that you had videos, and you saw MTV and this
and that, and then eventually the Playboy channel and you got you know what
I mean, There's an there's an evolution arc there. Imagine your life goes
from absolutely nothing, spear fishing in a fucking river with a bone through your
nose, and the next thing you know, you can see somebody else with
all This is what I'm saying. Could you imagine that? Hey, michaeleb
put down the fish and come over here. I went to see he's a
woman? Is it? We have back backyard pig. We are going through
America? No? Could you? I can't imagine that. Yeah, that's
what I was saying. I should have instead of the bone through the nose,
I need the bone in here. Wait let me see. Now,
I gotta find the article because I just saw it in passing and I went,
this is somewhat amazing. Amazon Jungle. Were they wearing Super Bowl loser
shirts? Say they didn't see the I mean they could have went to the
roast of Tom Brady. Yeah, elon musk starlink connects and divides Brazil's Marubo
people. All right, so here, all right, let me let me
give you that. We could go New York Times. We'll go simpler.
Something written on a sixth possibly fifth grade level New York Post. Amazon tribe
finally connects the Internet, only to wind up booked on board and social media.
That's what it says. That's when I saw this. Yeah, so
you see these a reclusive tribe and the Amazon finally got hooked up. To
the Internet thanks to Elon Musk, only to be torn apart by social media
and pornography. Addiction. Elders complain Brazil's two thousand member Marubo tribe has been
left bitterly divided by the arrive of Tesla's founder. I have said this,
I have this theory was actually my uncle's. The world is designed by geniuses
to be run by idiots. In other words, Starlink connects you to everything
possible. You could probably learn how to build a better HU faster, right,
you know what I mean? Yep, and instead push You know what
I mean. That's what it is. That's what it is. When it
arrived, everyone was happening. I want to know how many computers laptops did
they give them? How long is the extension call? I'm seeing them understand,
in front of a bunch only have fifteen minutes per person. Tribe nine
months after getting access to satellite internet. I don't know they have Starlink boxes
now Starlink's satellite so I'm assuming in the boxes are computers and I don't know
how many. And oh no, these are satellites that would then be mtdown
out there. These are receivers. I don't know about that. I don't
know. Maybe they were going to a tribe and giving them satellite here why
why, well, you connect the world and I bet their life, I
bet they become less healthy something than Jehovah's witnesses say, once everybody in the
world has had a chance to conform to God, that God will make his
final decision to start over. But everybody's got to get the word first that
something like that. I don't know. I'm not million enough. I don't
know. Did you actually let them in the house the house naked? Like
yeah, what do you We're trying to save your soul, Like, yeah,
good luck with that, don't you don't you want to? And then
they show you the pamphlet of you out in the grazing grass with a panda
bear and draft and I'm like this is it? Any any beer anything?
Oh? You'll be happy. I'm like, yeah, that's heaven. H
yeah, oh peaceful and comforting. Oh yeah yeah, no pain or no
pain resistance, I believe. Yeah, that's why I say no beer,
No w does dallis No, those are all human things. Yeah, you
don't need that. You're beyond that now, you're a higher conscious I think
yes, I think consciousness, your soul, yes, live on well yeah,
your energy eternity, Yeah, your energy can't stop it. You can't
kill energy, can't end it. It's always around, baby, because those
tribal leaders down watching deep throat, We're not going to plow the field to
day. Everybody grabbed your wife, We're going to plow them. I did
the Marubo are a chased tribe, a chase so even frown upon kissing in
public. But I'll Marubo said. He is anxious that the arrival of the
service, which delivers super fast internet to far flung corners of the planet and
has been injured by musk, but it ends ended up uh ruining their decorum.
How long did it take? Wait? How? Because hang on?
I need more to this story, Like what who is the who was the
person who all of a sudden goes this tribe needs a Internet. Well,
I like, no, not this tribe needs an internet? But are they
what language are they speaking? How what program is putting it in? And
how did they find the porn? Right? What did they Because usually you
have to go to a site, do you not? Yeah? Yeah,
so did you go on there? Unless you went on social media and you're
scroll going through and you see what you Well, if you go to x
Like, which is also Elon Musk, I think there are people out there
whether put their only fans and they're porn and their links to that on there.
I think if I was going to do that, I would have a
direct ask access to green Peace or somebody that wanted to come there and help
them with building a hut instead of just having their way maybe disrupting their way
of life. Well, I think this was trying to help. I really
don't know that. You know, if that's out there, what else is
out there? Oh, you know, everything's out there. Everything's out there,
and then they're not going to work, and then they're going to be
in a world Saint Paul and Ridgeway with a with a coconut with a venmolana
say help me. I need to find Linda Lovelife. Hey, we'll have
cardboard. When they turn into the kind of people you can't talk to on
speakerphone public, yes, yeah, that too. Do you ever have those
people? Do you have people in your life that you will not answer the
phone on speakerphone? No? I think at home, I answer everybody.
I answer everybody's speaker phone. But I live alone, right, so it
doesn't matter, right, right, But I I answered a buddy's call.
I was driving to my sisters in Virginia with my mom and my dad in
the car, not that many years ago, and I answered the phone and
it was just a tribe of filth and I go, hey, I'm with
my with my mom and oh your mom, And I don't know, seriously,
who was a buddy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I think
the opening line was I want to f your face. I've gotten calls why
I'm ubering, and I'm like, this might be something important, and I'm
like, hey, what's going on. By the way, I'm driving somebody?
Okay, oh you say that right away? Yeah yeah, so watch
what you say, all right? But what if somebody just tried to do
like an old joke like the old Simpsons when he used to call the bar.
Uh No, No, I don't have people doing nothing like that.
Now. I tell you why it Church Sunday. Why I went to confession
I've said last week and I got drunk and I slept with two twenty five
year olds like bomb shots all night, took them home. We's amazed.
Suck did everything. Yeah, he was, okay, do to our fathers
and four oh Mary's I go, I'm not doing that. He goes,
why now, I go, I'm not Catholic. He goes, you're not
Catholic. I go, know, he goes, why you tell me?
I go, father, I'm telling everybody I saw that or thought of it
earlier day. I thought you might enjoy that one. Are you Catholic?
No, No, I am not. No, I am not Baptist Prottestant.
I wish. I'm from a very Irish Catholic family. No, I
was raised more evangelical. Became a very big issue within my family because more
Protestant would be you know, they're they're thinking that was Northern Ireland. We
that was not a good thing. And my grandfather would not talk to his
daughter, my mother for a year. Yeah, it was not good,
not good. So and then I think in the end, I think after
my grandfather died, I think my grandmother came to church with us. So
I'm not I'm not sure, but it just shows you like religion. It
just becomes I always say, it's a give me something to be well.
I always thought it was like a governor. If that makes sense on an
engine, right, you put a governor on an engine to slow it down.
That I I swear to God it was like trying to put a governor
on humanity. And if you really look at the absurdity of it, England
switched from Catholicism to Protestism because Henry the eighth wanted to bang different chicks.
Yeah, I mean, that's really what it came down to. So I
need you know what I'm saying. Country goes another line. So I it's
always been a bit of a mystery. It's a mystery to me because I
and I and I think a lot of times the Bible was misinterpreted in my
you're lack of knowledge humble opinion. Well yeah again, opinion one hundred percent
opinion. But I do think like I think that you know, Jesus was
trying to tell you be like me. Not I am the way, but
be like me, you know, be like Mike. Yes, wah,
All right, we'll take a moment. A couple of very very famous actors
have had a riff for years, and we'll see if Doug, you may
possibly know more about this. You are a film guy, I am,
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And this guy, he's in Forrest Cup. Yeah, it is Michelle
Phillips, eighty years old today. Bring her in, baby. He actually
looks pretty good. I saw a what's the documentary idea something Canyon and it's
uh, it's hosted by uh Bob Dylan's son, Jacob Dillon does most of
the interviews and stuff, and it's uh, it's really good. It's about
like music from that area. And I forget that canyon what the fuck is
the name of But anyway, you got to start with Bob Dylan with Bob
Dylan. He tells a story that Bob Dill needed studio players and it was
it Nashville and somebody was sick and they told Charlie he could play for one
day, and uh, you know, that's it, and Bob asked who
he was and he goes, all, he's all done. He goes,
no, bring him back tomorrow. And the canyon in the game some work
and Tully got going. I saw him before he died at De Lago.
Charlie Daniels. Yeah, not Bob Dylan. Yeah, Bob still life,
Yeah, Bob still life kicking. Yeah still He gave how much paid homage
to uh Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan who helped out with her his career.
Wow, that's pretty awesome. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, I
love those kind of stories. You always like nobody, nobody does anything in
a bubble. That's the real thing, and so it's always somebody who helped
you out a little bit. And that's where I was starting to say earlier
when we were talking about would you put a venmore or PayPal on the sign?
I always think like I'd rather see a hand up than a hand out,
which is sounds maybe to some as a conservative thing, but I always
loved habitat for humanity, And to me, the proof is in the stats.
You know, when you had a vested interest in building the house or
painting, you had to put some sweat equity into this house that you were
getting. And they showed, like I think the graduation rate of kids who
grew up in those houses, it's ninety eight percent, and just all these
really amazing things that went on to college and all, and it changed people's
lives. But you had to put and there's my only here's my thing.
You have to work at something. It's not the work someone, it's the
real satisfaction you get from working well, from from going this is my home,
and I take pride in it, and I'm working on it, working
on it. Right. I'm not saying a job necessarily, but I'm saying,
you take I work at my painting zone, you take the ones you
make fun of it, yeah, the fingerpainting. Yeah. No. But
I'm saying, but you take pride in building it, keeping your yard,
doing that sort of thing. There's something about that that's a real satisfaction.
That to me is real self esteem, you know. I mean, there
was a video yesterday an accomplishment, right, There was a video yesterday we
played of these guys that lured a guy out of Geneseo opposing as a thirteen
year old girl and he was going to meet this thirteen year old girl and
he shows up at the Walmart somewhere I think in Rochester and to me,
they make a mistake of hitting the guy like they're punching him and that's gonna
get you a salt. And the fact that you're not the police that did
this, that rope them in, there's all kinds of legalities that could go
wrong, And I'm like, that's a lot of work to get somebody.
It's a lot of work. And I don't think you're ever going to be
able to root all these people out, unfortunately. But what I think you
could do is try to build self esteem and a kid where they're not looking
for any stranger online to correspond with and you know, talk about the dangers
of it. Give them something, but give him a reason to feel better
about themselves by doing a little work, playing a sport, getting the fuck
out of the house around. That's a big deal, Dougie. It is
a big deal. Big in sports. Henry Winkler. Henry Winkler, Tom
Hanks and Tom Hanks apparently have had a bit of a beef. Did you
know Tom Hanks was on Happy Days years ago? Did not know this.
I just saw that. I remember it from years ago. Really he was.
He thought he was bullied by Phansie and he grows up and he becomes
this kung fu artist and he hunts him down and he wants a shot at
him, and Panzi says okay, and Panzi has just got a humanitarian award
in Milwaukee wherever they were, and uh hey, and Tom Hanks kicks him
and he flies out of Arnold's through the window and then comes back in and
grabbed Tom Hanks and you know, I'm sorry I did that, And that's
when they end shaking hands. Why I remember this as a kid, don't
ask me. But Tom Hanks was on that. He was also on the
Love Boat. Tom Hanks very early career, obviously, But go ahead.
Well it's just weird because when you think of Henry Winkler and you think of
Tom Hanks, I really think there are probably two of the nicer guys in
Hollywood. You think so Turner and Hooch, Tom Hanks was was in it.
Yeah, I remember Henry Winkler was to be the director. Henry Winkler
got fired thirteen days into it. And now it's been believed that Tom Hanks
had something to do with that, because supposedly they were scouting a place in
Carmel, California, or doing whatever, and a woman came running out of
a store and she went, hey, Funds, and he came. When
he walked over, he said, and you know Tom Hanks, And of
course you know Tom Hanks. And I guess maybe that was early Tom's I
don't know why. Somebody said they felt like Tom felt slighted. And then
when he got fired, this one pa on the set said that moment in
Carmel was all it took. So I but it doesn't. It seems like
that's ridiculous. But Henry's the one telling the story. He goes, look,
we've been cordial to each other whenever we've seen each other, but maybe
there was something that happened on the Happy Day set they carried over to the
Turner Hood set. I don't know. Well, you know that Michael J.
Fox wasn't the original cast for Back to the Future. Yes, yeah,
Eric thirteen days or two weeks whatever into filming. They had to reshot
everything. Yeah, everything, and he and that Michael did a great job
with that. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever like when you when you
were a kid and you watched Happy Days, did you did you want to
be part of the Cunningham family. No, you didn't, not that I
remember now. I don't remember being all that funny, but it was something
to watch. It was something to watch. I did want to be adopted
by mister Drummond. I did because that looks so fucking cool to me.
They had all the everything penthouse, they were this. Yeah, I wanted
to be I think Tod Bridge is the only one that's alive, Tom Bridges.
Todd Bridges is the only one that's alive. He is the only one
that's alive that's there. Or I used to enjoy and I always work in
mindy. I like for a while like that was a good show. But
no sitcom family that you thought I could be part of that sitcom family.
I have to think about that for no sitcom fany maybe the family guy,
but that's animated. But yeah, yeah, yeah, well that was you
would fit into that. Yeah how about this one? Yeah, were you
doing this last night. No, no, no, no, these were
TV things. We didn't use any of these all oh riffs. Was just
watching Arnold Schwarzinger's documentary and him and uh, is that the docuseries? Yeah,
watched all that. Yeah, it was good. I thought it was
pretty good too. I mean Arnold's intent. Arnold to me, Arnold is
like, I go, man won in a billion. I thought he really.
God, it's like I didn't give a fuck. He was going to
do it. Yeah, you know, so he was brilliant because he went
and bought real estate. So he's a multi millionaire when he's trying to get
these leading role actor jobs. And how about when the the who was the
director? That was a great scene. God, actually I wish I had
the audio of this. It was a funny. It made me laugh.
He goes into the director, who was a little short Italian guy, and
Arnold comes in there with his agent, and I guess the guy said something
to him and Arnold said big words for little man with a big desk,
and the guy flipped out. He was in that documentary and the guy like
kicked him out or whatever. And then later on they were doing he wound
up being the director on a movie that Arnold was cast in, and I
don't know if they hired him later after getting the cast together a producers maybe,
and he came up and Arnold, he came to him and said,
you are the Terminator or whatever it was, whatever the movie was. So
it kind of came around. But I think the guy threw him out your
accents too. Think he goes, you have an accent too. A little
man with a big desk, right, that was Hercules. I believe,
Oh it might have been. It might have been dubbed him for the first
one. Yes, because I think the guy said you are Hercules. He
goes, you are Hercules like, and he goes, that was the greatest
compliment I could have gotten. But you gotta go, I mean, what
a ballsy, ballsy motherfucker. Maybe to his own detriment, I don't know.
I say that because you have that like. Jesse Ventura says, he's
very smart. I'm sure he is. Well. Look and they offered him
while he's doing Predator. He went to Terminator two and Jesse goes, he
goes, Arnold says, I'm not gonna do it. He goes, what
they're offering you? All this money. He goes, I'm gonna just wait
and it's gonna be ten times as much. Yeah, it took so long
for Terminator two, but it worked out fantastic. Yeah. But even his
whole foray into politics, and like when he ran for governor and it was
almost like he did a pretty good job. People seem to be somewhat pleased.
California wasn't what company is now Because were you living there then? Yes?
And yeah, did I vote for him? I was reading the paper
at that time going to work. I was taking the train out Pasadena in
a place called Pleasures, and I'm like, start reading the paper and I
read that was reading what Arnold was planning in the hype and he doesn't know
this much, and he wouldn't give straight answers. He would just do roundabout.
You know. He did a lot of like movie clips. But then
he was almost like he did he he immersed himself in whatever he was doing,
and I guess I really sort of turned around. He had that cigar
lounge or something in the summit tent where everybody would just be relaxed, and
he would ask After a while, he didn't think he was doing good,
so he would ask Democrats and Republicans. He really didn't care, right what
you for. Let's just let's make it better. Let's and uh he said.
Once he started doing that, things did get better. And there was
a huge strain. I couldn't even imagine the strain and his family and made
that's the thing. Yes, you gotta be a cocky, cocky motherfucker.
And I heard a story that I was hoping was in the documentary, but
it was not. He had to have open hearts, sir, within the
past five years. I think, Uh, well, he was still married
at the time from one I remember, and he's Arnold said he was going
to go down to them. He was going to tell uh Maria that he
was going to Mexico. He was going to have the surgery and then recuperate
on the beach and then come home. But not tell anybody that he had
open surgery, Like, oh fuck does Arnolds that was the story, like
or maybe he was separated so there wasn't anybody, but you would normally tell
your ex wife and the mother of your children. But what's the best part
of the documentary too? Another great part of that documentary that that will not
be talked about except I can't not notice this. I can't imagine Arnold's kids,
the one he had with the housemaid, Yeah, jacked, working out,
doing all the stuff. I don't think they showed the other, the
one with Maria like that son. Yeah, no, he's like skiddy.
And it just made me laugh because I go one, Well, I think,
I think here's here's always my thing, like, well, did you'll
think Bill Moran come out? That'd be unbilified. They want to be in
Rochester with you. The people that come from If you look at anybody who
had great success, there are kids that got into the same thing. Often
don't rise to the same potential. There are some Ken Griffy Senior. Ken
Griffy Junior is a great example of Junior's exceeded senior. But for the most
part, you're not gonna exceed Arnold. I mean walk in his footsteps.
I mean you can go close. I'm saying, like, and here's why
everything he's done, but here's why you don't have the same desire to do
it. Your life was easier because of him, so you didn't have to
You had air conditioning, you know, I mean, as simple as silly
as that sounds, not that Arnold didn't. But Arnold grew up in a
war torn country after World War Two with men who were very upset over the
fact that they were on the losing side of that war. They beat their
wives, they did all kinds of shit, They drank, they were assholes.
That was a rough life. He gets out of there lifting weights,
and then everything else after that he figures out on his own, and he's
just driven, driven, driven because if I can get here, I can
get there. If I get here, I can get there. And it
was an amazing to me. I gotta watch that again. But now,
look, you had you had a child with a Kennedy privilege, right,
I'm gonna say easier, like access to more stuff by these generations. Joe
Kennedy built this empire. Maybe he used mafia money, I don't know,
but everybody after that has had a pretty good run. A bunch of bootleggers,
right, Okay, so you got that, and then you have a
child with a woman who cleans houses for a living. I think you would
rap it or be smarter. I'm I'm not gonna judge Arnold, right because
I don't. This story's too good. I don't care. It's a fascinating
experiment. Again in my mind, much like standing on the Stay Street corner
with help my dad keep me off the pole of my famly PayPal. If
I look at these two kids, I'm thinking, yes, both kids.
I'm sure Arnold he's in both their lives. He's in their lives or makes
access to them. He goes and works out with the one boy. So
if that's the case, then why is that kid? Did he not have
it as privilege? Like did mom say, look, Arnold, I don't
want you paying for my house. I've worked my ass off. He needs
to learn this is how we grow. This is it. But meanwhile,
over there in the mansion drive and you know the latest portion of Guyenne is
I'm just saying, I wonder if that's a piece of it. I'm sure
they did have a car at some point, or you know how much they're
Kennedy's for fuck's sake, Yes you think. But when they got divorced,
do you think Maria is not going to be given all the Yes, well,
I'm sure there was a It's an easier life, It's all I'm saying,
Yes, it is. And I think if your mom was cleaning houses,
she's a little more humbled, and she may want to humble you a
little bit as well. Sure, knowing all the access and seeing what can
happen with the fame. Hey, speaking of cleaning house, Yeah, are
we going to clean house June twentieth. We're cleaning house June twentieth. My
friend, it's going to be a remedy. Remedy, remedy. I got
an ad we gotta do. I have other problems that we'll talk about off
air. With that. We're still no, no, no, no,
we're doing this. Finger lakes, Yeah, finger lakes, you got it?
Fingerlikes racetracks. You know what? I played this slats the other day.
Three prunes coming up? What please do that joke out stage? Please
do that joke on stage. Yes, it will be the twentieth. Come
in, it's at Remedy. You come right into the club, grab it.
They'll have drink specials. We'll do the podcast there first, and if
you want to join the podcast, you can. It's not it's kind of
hard to hear what we're saying on there unless you're got headphones on there sitting
with us. Uh. And then we'll do the comedy show from seven to
nine. It'll be me, it'll be Doug Phelps, and it will be
Gary Owns, greg Os excuse me, the other guy. Yeah, yeah,
Craig. Wow. It would be nice. If I knew who's on
the show, then it would be there Greg, probably in another universe.
Yeah, so Greg, Greg is Uh, I you can do everything.
I gotta start practicing. I got to move the blanket. Oh can we
get another practice video? How about I'll do a practice video. You do
a practice video. We could do all. That's funny. Every video I've
seen you talk about the comedy, you start giggling because I know you're thinking
that, which is fine, Which is fine. I can't help it's so
surreal. It's all right, it's all right. It was Yeah, it
was very surreal. It was the It was the tugy French famous blanket fly
out of the way, are you now? I do have a question.
Who will be attending from the Phelps family? Oh? My dad, yes,
my cousin Karen on my great cool side hopefully, my cousin Laurie right,
Uh, some other people. I had somebody come up to me the
bar Sunday at the Whiskey River, Yeah, and just praising us. So
she loves a listening and uh, so funny and yeah she's married. Yeah
so, but I just thanked her. I mean I was busy, but
I wanted you know, it's nice to hear this. Yeah, every now
and then, I want to run into people that that's great, that's awesome,
that's a that's a good thing. Is a good thing. Yes,
people enjoy Dougie Phelps and you the Bill Murray Show, The Billified. Uh,
yes, So we'll be out there and uh, we're gonna have a
little more information on that, but it'll be me you Greg and Greg very
funny Gregg on a Thursday. On a Thursday, kick off your weekend right
and get right into it. Maybe earn a little bit of money by playing
the slots either before or after the show. Yeah, great cocktail specials.
Remedy is a really really cool space. And uh, I'm looking forward to
doing this me too. I'm actually very excited about this. I've been written
some new material, Yeah, I've been writing. Yeah, I've written.
Have I written I think a bunch of new stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
Well I'm going to use something pepper and around things I know work that way.
I'm going to use some of the stuff I used in the contest last
year, like I'm teaching my nephew about sex. Yeah, that I wouldn't
do that. No, why I don't remember it? Okay, well good,
I'm just saying it. I'm just saying that it will make jo.
I love the jack rabbit joke. I love there. Is that a closer
or is that an open in the beginning? Yeah, that's a that's a
good one. I get some going to talk about my parents. Yeah,
I think with them there, Yeah, of course. Okay, So how
do you think that will go over? Fine? They can't. Yeah,
yeah, will jump up of his rascal. Now they have a rascal.
That's my boy. I'm not disappointed anymore. Thanks dad. I hope your
dad knew we were kidding. Yes, of course he does. I don't
know, Yeah he does, all right. Well, he wasn't upset about
his Funne role either, you don't think No, And I said to the
other Funnell, well he could you know the elves stuff and all that.
Yes, we'll close it out. Yeah we're dying. You're dying of joking.
Funner, all of the funeral, the funne, all of the funeral,
and we'll see you on June twentieth, Thursday at Finger Legs Racetrack and
Casino in remedy for Dougie Phelps. I'm Bill Moran, see you tomorrow.
Didn't know what to do. I'm trying a TV don't do the letter to
you, dang