Comedy at the Carlson welcomes actor and stand up comedian best known for appearing on
shows like The Goldbergs, Home Economics, Californications, Dustin Yebara This Thursday,
Friday and Saturday nights. You guys drinking a night, man? Yeah,
getting shit faced? Man? You ever drink so much the next morning you
wake up, you're not even hungover. You're like, I'm not even hungover.
Then you realize I'm still drunk. This is awesome. You're going into
worker Hi buying the janitor and shit, or you might be the janitor.
I don't know. I wouldn't get the drunk munchies. Man. I went
to McDonald's one time. I tried to get a twenty piece nugget. The
dude is like, you just want to do fifty for ten bucks. I'm
like, are you a cop or something? And that's way too cheap for
nuggets. Like, I'm drunk, but I know a good deal when I
see it. So I look at my wallet. I have a twenty dollars
bill. I'm like, oh my god, let me get a hundred one
hundred nuggets. And he looks at me. He's like, that's gonna take
a while. I'm like, I just over one hundred nuggets. You think
I have shit to do? Man, I'm not on my way to a
business meeting. Dusseibara this Thursday night, May thirtieth for one show, two
shows Friday May thirty first at seven and nine, and again Saturday, June
first at seven and nine, The hilarious Dustin Gibara. Lock those tickets down
at Carlsoncomedy dot com. The Red Wings are home this week. Tuesday has
half rice tickets. Wednesday features a jersey giveaway to fans twenty one and older.
Thursday is a business person special at eleven oh five am four tickets.
Visit Redwings Baseball dot com. Have you been to Toronto, the restaurant at
the Armory Since the renovation Through COVID lockdown, they made some amazing improvements to
the space, my favorite of which is the new pour your Own Beer wall
with a special card you can pick from over forty eight options. And it's
not just beer. There's some wine, cider, and seltzer on there as
well. If you want to make your bartender dreams come true, make a
trip to Trota's Beer Wall. Trotta, the restaurant at the Armory from the
Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by Victor Chrysler Dots Jupe Ram.
It's Billified the Bill Moran Podcast. Hello and welcome. Thanks for getting
your pot on. Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the
word about the pirate ship. Look who's here Tuesday? Look at that camera
adjusted out in the right way. Make sure he's looking all right? There?
There he is Dougie fresh house. Baby. That's right. I met
a friend of Dougie Fresh's over the weekend. Oh boy, I saw your
little uh your little commercial this morning or this afternoon that you were, uh
giveing a foresight of what's good we're talking about tonight? Oh yeah, a
little bit. Yeah. Uh no, did your I've met a friend of
your Mike Bailey. Yeah? When did you send it? Sunday? Yeah,
Sunday. We were together Sunday. Yeah, that's right. Where were
you? We were at church? We were at my friend's lakehouse on Cuca.
Okay, yeah, cool, and Mike was there with his girlfriend.
Okay, I have met her yet? Okay will She saw a picture of
you and she said he looks like a happy gay guy. Wonderful. She
didn't. He looks like a happy guy. But here's the best part.
So she's sitting at the end of the dock and it's my friend who owns
mult Connery's Damien's cottage. Damien was taking people out on the jet ski and
he would come real close to the dock and shoot a rooster tail. So
we I know how this goes with Damien. He'll do it two or three
times and then he's gonna fucking flood everybody. And she's sitting there. I
think her name is Barb. I don't know Barb or something like that.
I think that's her name. So she's sitting and uh, attractive woman and
she's in a white top and tan shorts. Well like, you're right,
and he comes around and does the thing and it's kind of splashing up on
her by her knees because she's got her She's sitting on the edge of the
dock. I'm there and I look at my buddy Tony and his wife,
and I go, I'm going to the back. The next fucking time he
comes around. Oh much a tsunami. Yeah, that broad is soaked.
I mean her ariolas were popping out. Oh my god, it was like,
I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. Well, you could
because you've seen it before, That's why I know. But I couldn't believe
that. And then she's going, why did anybody? No one knew her
name. She's going, why did you say Barb move? I'm like,
I didn't even know you. I've just met him. I have no idea,
but I was recovering from what I will say is the most embarrassing,
maybe the one of the most epic embarrassing moments of my life. Okay,
I heard you say that earlier. Yes, So what happened? What did
you do? What happened to you? What did you do to somebody?
Well? Have have you? Have you ever gotten this way where you just
feel like you want to go out and find trouble. There's something in you,
like a magnetic trouble magnetic could just go have fun? Not a fight.
No no no no no no no no, not a fight. We're
you know you call front, Hey, we're gonna go Tai one D Yeah
yeah, yeah, Like you just get this inner pole. It's like yeah,
it's like you're intercompass. Most people at Ports points north mind points to
trouble. That kind of thing like that could just I just it's just all
was was bad decisions. I knew this, and this happened last week,
and I could feel it kind of building in me, and it's like,
my brain is, I think it's good that you let loose a little bit
with everything going on. Sometimes you gotta happen. Wow, I agree,
okay, uh, and so this is the cottage. No. So this
is all last week. And sometimes when I find myself following my brain like
this, I'm always worried I'm going to end up on the side of a
milk cart because shit can go really awry for me. I can't go pretty
right. So I decided not to do anything last week. And I originally
had plans for a Memorial Day weekend. I was going to go down.
I have another project that we're trying to work out some dates. I was
going to go down to New York City do the project, catch the stones
and at MetLife Stadium and stay with my mom. And the plants just weren't
coming together. And my mom calls me up and says, hey, my
niece has grand person Day at school. And basically that's where they call it
Grand person because some kids ston't have grandparents alive, so you can bring like
your music teacher, or you got a baseball coach or somebody grand person to
whoever's the grand person in your life, because a lot of you know,
kids, grandparents are dead. So my niece was going to bring my brother
and he goes, screw that. He casts my mother and goes, when
you come up and do this? So my mom caused me. I feel
so bad. I go, don't worry about it. It's it's great.
I said, my plans weren't coming together, so don't even worry about it.
You go do your thing. That same day, Damian Monconnery pulls up
here because a friend of his has written a book. He was dropping the
book off and he goes, what are you doing this weekend? And I
said, my plans literally just changed. He goes, well, why don't
you come down to the cottage spend the night. We'll have a great time.
So I figure, no big deal. That sounds like a great idea
to me. Great idea. So Saturday morning I wake up and for whatever
reason, Doug, I feel exhausted, still tired. I'd go for a
half walk, run waddle for two miles and then I go instruct my boxing
class and I come back and I'm like ready to go. I could take
a nap. I'm that tired. Did you weigh yourself? Uh? You
made yourself? Yes, So I have you love anything? I was what
was I last time? Two thirty four? I think I was thirty.
Okay, yeah that was two nineteen. I lost a couple. Okay,
you lost a lot, well since last week, just a couple. I
thought you said you were two thirty last week. No. I started out
two thirty five, like a month and a half ago, so I'm down
to two twenty. They snuck into yeah. So yeah, so I didn't
lose a lot. I thought you were two thirty last week. We were
like the same weight on that way, on that scale my skill home.
Your scale's fucking wrong. No altitude? Yeah, okay, all right,
we'll have you stand on the other one. I'll bring that one back.
So I go, I go down. I decided, you know what,
to screw it, and I pack up and I go down and I leave
here. It's pouring Saturday. So I get down to the lake. There's
some people hanging out and I walk in and I see Damien I have a
couple of bottles of wine. And we go in and he said, yourself
in a couple of bottles. No, I brought him okay, you know,
so I put him in the fridge. I turn around and he has
like a huge well I'm gonna say, it's like half a glass at Jamison.
And he goes and he got a bottle I've never seen. Apparently some
Canadian friends of his bought it. It is the biggest bottle of Jamison.
It's huge. It looks almost like, yeah, it looks no, it
looks like a joke. It looks like a joke. So he pours me
one of these big ones and I down that, and then we start going
and then I think after that it was like high noons and this and that,
and I'm feeling okay, everything's fine, no no problem. Then he
says to me, you want a gummy and I say sure. He goes
fifty or five milligram. I say five milligram will be fine. Have the
five milligram. We're still hanging out, maybe a little more. Jake,
I don't even know after that, like, really, what's going on?
I have no idea that I hear. Are you feeling good. I'm feeling
fine. Now I'm feeling like nothing, nothing, nothing, I'm feeling like
good, buzz, maybe lost, not even mellow. Because there's two guides.
There's Indica, which people say is in the couch that kind of mails
you out, and there's Stevia. I think that's maybe I'm saying it wrong
with the sugar, but that one's more of an upper and makes you laugh.
Those are the ones I like. So I figure let's have a good
time. So this one's supposedly Stevia. He says, Hey, these other
people are at the house. They're going to drive over to this party,
but we're gonna take the boat. There's been a break in the rain.
We're gonna get on the boat. We're taking the boat over and this is
a family party. So we get on the boat and it starts raining and
water's pelt my face. I got a towel over it. We get there,
help Doc get out. Hey see some other friends I know go into
this beautiful lakehouse on Cuca Lake. I've never been there. I don't know
who the owners are. There seems to be milling around, probably like fifteen
twenty people at this time. So some more people keep showing up. I
have a little food, a little drink, and I'm talking to the owner
of the house and we're talking about renovations he's going to make and it's lovely
and why he's doing in all this stuff, and all of a sudden it
hits me like boom. I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I feel
like I'm melting. All I know is I got to get the fuck out
of this conversation. Kids, I can't talk anymore. I don't know what's
happening. I have no idea. Now this is where everything becomes fuzzy after
this to me, m okay, are you not liking this feeling? Though?
I mean, are you like I'm not really like, I'm not liking
this feeling. And I'm I'm still exhausted, Like I started the day exhausted.
Now I'm like really exhausted. I'm beat. So I go hm,
I asked, I excuse myself, and say, excuse me, but where
is the bathroom? Now this is where it's fuzzy, because what I'm about
to tell you did happen. I just don't know if it happened in this
order, but I believe I was walking to the bathroom and I threw up
like I threw up, and my lips were a break wall, dude.
And the pressure's coming. I mean, this is like Zeppelin's when the levee
breaks. Wow, yeah, this y this over again, Man, fucking
break wall's coming. I get in the bathroom and I'm I mean, I'm
all over the place. I come out of the bathroom and it's this beautiful
cottage and there is a perfectly made king sized bed and I fucking go right
in. I'm done. You're done, I'm done. I'm out. You
pull out, I'm out. I'm in a fetal position and I'm hugging a
pillow in some stranger's house. Right, I've never been there? Now in
life? Was the bathroom? Did you make it to the toilet? Did
I believe I did? And if I didn't, I think I tried to
clean up what I could see if I missed a little or there was any
splash. But I have no idea. I'm assuming only because of the state
I was in and what I will tell you later on, I don't know
that I did. I have no idea. So I'm like the walk out,
I'm in the bed, I'm done. That's as this is it on
top of the cover, isn't coming on? I believe No, I didn't
get naked in. I think I kicked off my shoes, yeah, and
I think I just laid on the bed and I was somewhat cognizant of it.
People were walking in and out. You're right, I'm like, and
I'm like, but I'm mortive. Like the next day, I'm I'm mortified,
Like, I don't think I could ever see these people again. I
don't There's people I know who I know I'm going to see this week,
and I don't want to see them right because of this party, because I
don't know. So now I all I remember is Damien came in to check
on me and somebody else was in there, and then he's like, yeah,
come on, let's get up. So I get up and I walk
out, and I'm kind of like, this day's like, you know,
just sort of zombie state. And the guy goes, hey, dude,
my wife's a huge fan. I go, I go really, He's like,
yeah, she's out there now. There has to be fifty people,
sixty people in this part and their families, there's kids, there's everybody.
This early day six, seven o'clock. I'm saying, this is like seven
and seven o'clock, eight o'clock, Kevin, Gummy, it hits you.
I had the gummy around five here to seven. I'm fucking get I'm done,
old sick. Around five p thirty seven, they're like, yeah,
so I get up round two. Guy goes, I don't even know how
long it is. I couldn't give you the time, right, I don't
know the time. I have no idea. So all of a sudden,
the guy says to me, Hey, well, wife's a huge fan.
She's out there. She wants you to sign her tits. Come on now,
there's very few people in here. I turned the corner to this beautiful
sun room and it goes out onto this patio and there's a bar out there,
and it's all on the lake. And I'm looking around and I go,
your husband told me to come out here and sign her tits just like
that, and the air fucking leaves the room. Did you have the right
person? I think I didn't. You know, very lovely, unassuming.
We're talking people with a lot of money and a lot of well dressed all
this all rich people went there. I sit down and I just kind of
sit there like and I look over at one point and the guys like staring
at me. Give me to the side. I'm just sitting there. I
don't even know, like what day it is. I couldn't tell you what
time it is. I have no idea. Remember washing your mouth out with
water, trying to find some toothpases or nothing. I bathroom crash signing tests?
You got it? Wow? Was it? That was it? Did
you sign them? No? No, no one I knew. I thought
it was a joke anyway, Like I was. It was almost like there
was a joker. Oh, I knew we got like what lady wants her
titch sign? That's so stupid unless they're what unless it's nineteen eighty seven and
we're at a crew contral. I've seen crazy shit happen when you didn't think
it was gonna Yeah, well this definitely wasn't gonna happen. And you could
add a gummy too, you know, maybe she was just a little buzzed.
Know, the only one who was messed up at this party was me.
You know what I did that once in Florida. I think I got
a picture of it somewhere. Signing someone's titch. Yeah, well I did
it. I said it kind of thinking it was a joke. I'm not
sure that I delivered it as well as you may if you sober, is
a joke. So I just sit there and I think we kind of talked.
I don't even know. Then the next thing I know, we're back
on the boat. We get back to the house and well, here's what
I thought happened. I find out the next day it's not exactly what happened.
Damien says, hey, I'm gonna throw some pizzas in. We'll have
some pizzas out here. He poured me a glass of wine. I thought.
I got up and said, can't do it, going to bed,
and went to bed. Apparently I did not. I passed out, never
touched the wine, and was on the deck till midnight, till someone said
to him, you should go see if he's all right. So the next
day, I'm in this adjoining house. There's a knock at the door and
I come out and he goes, you're alive. I go yeah. He
goes, well, you can't start drinking all day. You can't drink all
day if you don't start first thing in the morning. And he wished out
a bottle of whiskey, and I go, I said to him, listen,
I am, I am mortified, Like I am so embarrassed. I
don't ever want to see these people again. He's like, I don't think
anybody even noticed. I go, how do you not notice? I got
a six foot one, two hundred and fifty pound fat fuck passed out in
your bed like a manatee, like I was waiting for the road be back
into the lake. I go, what are you talking about? He's like,
I don't think it's a bigger deal. He's like, I really don't,
so it probably isn't. You'll be thinking about it long after they've forgotten.
I just will tell you that I would never ever act that way,
right, Like I've never just gone fucking I'm out and crashed someone's bed,
right. It's just like, I mean, maybe when the kids were little
and I was reading them stories and you're just so exhausted because there was something
the boys are from. No whiskey, wine, high noon, uh bakka
and gummy. Yeah this is it's a smart fuck. You know, I
earned this, that's what you were thinking. You're like, I've earned this.
I'm going out. I'm getting ripped up and I'm gonna be the party
everybody can. Anyways, the Bill Branch show is traveling. It was getting
bilified to mortified. I'm signing tits and catch and checks. Maybe damn dude,
It's like, what is happening? I had no idea what was happening.
So I just I don't know. I wrote something about this into chat
GPT, and I'm wondering why people go to therapy anymore because I'm telling you
this is what chat chpt writes back. It sounds like you had quite the
roller coaster of a weekend. What is chat TVD chat GPT is AI So
it'll rewrite things for you if you want contracts written, and it can do
all this stuff for you. So I just thought it'd be funny, and
says everyone has moments that veer into the realm of chaos, and sometimes all
it takes is the perfect storm of exhaustion, alcohol, and perhaps a gumming
or two to tip that balance. This is what chat GPT says. Then
it says, here are a few takeaways from your adventure. One, the
urge for chaos. It's natural to fuel the poll towards spontaneity and a break
from the norm, especially after a period of stress or embarrassment, if your
mind's way of shaking off the rigidity and seeking a bit of unpredictable fun.
And I do. I swear to God, whenever I'm in like a really
rigid mode of boom boom, I'm working up there, you know, all
of a sudden, then I just need to And I know a couple guys
like that. Well, when after the comedy show we went from Carlson my
house, got picked up by Kevin. We had the dirty martinis going,
which you were like, these are great. Then we went to the pub
back there and then didn't you fall asleep in the uber right all to your
car get my house? I didn't do that. That's a loose night.
Yeah. But see here's the thing is like it worries me because I go,
this is one that was like that seems normal to me. You're riding
the throttle. I know the alcohol. This is where the gummy shit.
I think the gum he sent me over the edge. But I, oh,
yeah, if you're not used to and I don't want to do it.
I had three guys they went down four. I knew three other four
guys they went to the Masters this year and they were there on Wednesday to
see the practice rounds. And I'm not gonna say any names, but my
one buddy who doesn't smoke, he drinks, but he never had a gummy.
Yeah, he took half a one yea and within an hour he's he
was a puddle. Yeah, it depends on what his two buddies had just
taken half. They're like, we were well, they took two more and
said, this is You're what we want to become. Where where's that for
us? And he was embarrassing. He had apologized to his friend the next
day that he was just he's just staring at him for an hour as he
was talking. He's like, couldn't hold a conversation. He felt bad,
but it's yeah, this is the thing is he's trying to find. Look
without the alcohol, will always be like my favorite. Yeah, because I
know what I'm getting myself into. I know where I can go, I
know how to play the game. I've been doing it from over my life.
Yeah, this I haven't as much. I haven't in years, but
I do like them, and I like them when I could get to just
into silly fun like where every stupid thing makes you laugh. Yes, I
like that, but I don't like where you're a puddle. Now, this
was a combination like even here the perfect storm, says chetch GPD. Combining
alcohol and a gummy, even a small dose, can amplify the effects of
both, especially if you're already tired. This combination can lead to unexpected and
intense reactions, and then it goes recovery and reflection. Oh, good friends.
Your friend Damien seems like a solid guy who's understanding and easy going.
Having friends who don't judge and can laugh off mishaps makes all the difference.
He was cool. He came in the next day and he goes, listen,
did he take a gummy? Oh? Yeah, Oh he was fine.
And he was fine. Yeah, I was not. I don't know
why. I don't know what happened, but he's probably more used to him.
Well the next day, I probably had a gummy. At the end
of the day, I was fine. I don't know. I just it
was the short time. I have no idea. I can't explain it.
But he came in and he goes, listen, you're not going home today.
We're gonna stay. We're gonna spend the day. The weather's gonna be
great. We're gonna go out on the boat. We're going for breakfast in
about fifteen minutes. We're gonna go by boat. Just forget it, just
forget all of it. Let's just have a day day. And I go,
well, I'm gonna go back and do a podcast. He goes,
no, you don't, And I went, you know what, I'm not
gonna do one for two days and just kind of catch up on some stuff.
I came back here yesterday morning and I worked most of the day,
but it was like it was good. It was great, fun to kick
off a little bit right. And I'm sure Dougie freshead man, I can't
wait for you to meet this guy's girlfriend too. I'm gonna sign her tits.
I'm gonna bring it big. He's not her. It wasn't her who
It wasn't him whoever. I don't know who that was fresh right across Well,
I went out. I bartended Sunday night all day Sunday at Whiskey River
and it was slow. I got a little busy at the end. Everybody
had grill outs and whatever. And this woman comes in with her older friend.
Her older friend was seventy two is her birthday? Yeah, the younger
one was still older than me. Sixty three too young for you though,
But do you help the seventy two year old blow out her candles? No,
she tried and her teeth came out. No, we didn't have a
cake. But she ended up going to another bar and text me she gave
me your number? Which one? Uh, the younger one? Okay,
so she was single? I was single. Yeah. She thinks the age
is like, well, I'm fifty three years sixty three. That's young for
me. Really, Like, yeah, I'm trying to explain it. But
we did meet up at the other bar. You did, Yeah, and
then some other friends came in and then started drinking. Then the shots started
flying. Yeah, and then she ended up getting a ride uber friend or
something like that. Talk to her a little bit the next day. A
couple of textas how you feel and I feel like shit? And test the
waters with this, So scuty, has the water has been tested? Uh?
Yes, yesterday I asked her how she was feeling and made a couple
of jokes. Doesn't seem she remembers too much from Sunday night but I reminded
her. I go, do you remember this joke? And then she go,
oh yeah, my guy, she's laughing, so okay. And then
yesterday I hung over and I'm like, I'm not gonna do anything. My
friends text me we're going to Schooners, and I was. I was just
I had I had it typed in. I changed my mind. I'm just
gonna stay in and I it was all type and I didn't hit send,
and I'm like, you know what, I'll just go over for just one
for one. I'm going to go for one. Yeah. One became in
the morning and helping somebody out at another bar, my friend, and I'm
doing the register and all of a sudden, the register locks up and I
can't get into it. I was totally I was depressed. I was hammered.
He had to call the owner. He finally got it open. Everybody
out. I try to help him get beer. I'm putting beer in the
case. It was wet on the bottom. I pull it up, smashed
all over the place. I cleaned up. When I could I go out
help you, He goes, we're done, just get out to just get
out. Oh, it wasn't mad, he was just frustrated. You're fucking
everything up and I didn't mean too. This is I was terrible. I
stayed home, No, I found that, you know when I thought that,
Yeah, a whole way home. You know how I got there?
I walked, Oh, someone will walk you guys outside, We'll bring it
like, yeah, like, how long is it? Said? I thought?
He said fifteen minutes, maybe six? And I'm just like, I
don't even care. I don't even want to see anybody right now. I'm
so depressed that I just ruined this guy's night trying to help them as all
just all fucked up. Before that, the jokes were flying, the shots
were flying. Let me tell you plain you embarrassed yourself forward to me because
many people at this party had no idea that I passed out in the bed,
right, They don't know. They didn't hear me come out and say
to some lady, Hey, your husband told me you want me to sign
your tits And that wasn't eve mean I said like this. I think I
even said this makes me uncomfortable. But your husband said he was so drunk
there, Yes, but my mind was pretty innocuous. You fucking remnants,
locking drawers and breaking bottles and I worked there before, and I'm like,
I have no idea what I would have done, just as simple. There
you go. Yeah, all right, well Dougie, we're going to take
a moment. Okay, there was a news story that I don't know if
you were here last week or not about now when we did it at Candy
Strippers, Well the candy massage. Okay, yeah, so this person has
called me. Now I will give you the whole lowdown. I will show
you some pictures. Then we will call the person, but I don't want
to say anything until they tell their side of the story. Sure, and
then we'll come back with what we know. All right. I used to
work at a massage parlor, but I got fired. Really why I was
rubbing people the wrong way? Oh? Did sparks fly like a cat when
you punch on the wrong way? Jesus? But first, bTB wood Fire
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see all that's happening at red White and brew rock dot com. Holly came
from Miami, m l a hitchhoked away across the U s A plucked their
eyebrows on the way, shaved their legs, and then he was take a
walk up on the wild side. You can never tell if lou Reed was
talented or not. Take a walk on the like art. Yeah it is.
Pendula loved him. I loved him to break a number of times in
the strip club. Yeah, Candy Cam just some girls didn't dance, they
would just walk around. Really, you don't have to dance. Smile,
that's it. That's all you got to do, you know. I mean
you sing him and dancing and all this pollwork and everything, and it's impressive.
But somebody just walking around with a good body, he's going to make
just as much money. Yeah, you know. So I'm playing this song
because there was a story that about eight days ago on Channel thirteen. I
will play just a little bit of it again for people to get familiarized with
our chop story. At five point thirty, the operator of what's described as
an unlicensed spot in a Livingston County town is now the subject of a police
investigation after numerous complaints from the community. Thirteen Whims Carly Minor spoke with the
Mayor of Avon to learn more. Carly Karen, a neighbor, tells me
he has filed countless complaints about Candy Girl sensual massage parlor, using the spot
for sex acts and promoting services online. And we have kids and elderly people
walking by here every day because oh yeah, remember because we heard the chimes
in the background. Okay, So then I find out that it's run by
Diva Brown, and Diva Brown is a transsexual and Diva Brown according to the
stuff I saw, and I had people dig for me, like here on
Instagram, Diva Watson, Diva Brown, Diva Watson. I'm not sure.
Diva Watson trans extraordinary, I am an inspiring entrepreneur and producer, is what
she writes. And then candy Girl sensual massage. And she's got all these
pictures and it's a dick pic. There's a dick pick in there. Take
a look. This is Diva Watson. Diva Watson. Yep. Now there's
another one that somebody found that says Brooklyn transsexual escorts, candy Girl sensual massage
the place to get a rubbed down. And then some half black, half
Dominican trans woman that aims to please come with me as I carry you through
your journey of your wildest fantasies and nastiest dreams. Lol. Well hung and
know how to. And then candy Girl sensual massage is the same thing,
and it's but it's for men. This is all this is supposed to be
a man a men only massage place. Yes, now they're saying unlicensed massage.
So I have no idea, So I page, yeah, I remember
that from a couple of years ago, right, So, and they had
to change their wording because there was a lot of escorts down there. Yeah.
So I I got a hold of a phone number for the place.
I left a message. Diva Watson, Dava Brown, whoever this is,
calls me back today, says I'm uh, calls me and then goes,
I'm going to a doctor's appoint I always loved when somebody calls you and goes,
okay, I gotta go, I'm going to a doctor. Well why'd
you call? Why'd you call? After? What? What is? So?
I said? Okay, I said, well I hope everything's okay.
Yeah, no, it's no no big deal. And then I will call
you later. So I called the person back and I said, or they
called me back and I said, listen, would you like to come on
tonight? Yes. I feel like I'm being wrongly accused. I'm losing where
I live, I'm being forced out all this stuff now, So what I'd
like to do is let them let Diva Brown kind of say what they want
you to believe here you know what I'm saying or his side of the story.
Yes, and just let them say it and then go. But I
have some things here. Can you explain what these are? And this may
be why people didn't want this, because I had I have a feeling we're
going to get into an area where there's going to be a shield put up
by this person and say this is why this is happening. And I'm gonna
say, I don't think so, and here's why. You know what I
mean? And you we'll see. You've got some questions you want to answer.
See, Yes, but I figured I will let I will play candy
girl kind of let a diva Brown Diva Watson. I don't candy girls massage
Tyler and Avon. Yeah. Yeah, you can get rubbed and tugged and
then go see the double feature of the Silver League drive in. No,
that's Perry or there's a uh, there's a driving in a there's a drive
in now in Newark, just as an aside called the Rose City drive in?
Are we showing a night of the Cabinet. We are going to try.
We need to change the format and it'll cost some money, but I
but I will charge people five dollars. You know, maybe maybe we'll see
or I'll just pay it and we'll just get it on there. Okay,
yeah, uh, here we go. We're gonna call let's see if get
Diva Brown transsexual Candy Girl's massage. Is this Diva? It is Diva Brown?
Or is it Diva Watson? I never Diva Watson? Oh? How
come I is this? Never mind? I don't even know. Well,
I just had a legally chance, so I kept my mom's last theme.
Also, oh okay, all right, yeah, So this is Bill Moran
and we are you're on the podcast. The podcast is called Billified, the
Bill Moran Podcast. And I have been on radio in the area. I
don't know how long you've lived in the Greater Rochester area. Well, I've
lived in Avon for ten years, okay, decade at the same location.
I've been in the same location for seventh of those ten years. Okay.
How long have you been in business with your Central Massage Candy Girl Central Massage?
Actually not a very very long time probably, I'd say a few months
maybe. So this is a new venture for you. This is something that
was new, Yeah, a new thing that I was doing just to supplement
some surgeries and done. It's kind of important because of heavy condition, which
is why I'm living transgender in the first place. And back back up,
back up. It just like, do you mind if I asked questions,
did you just say? Did you just say you have a condition that's why
you're transcender in the first place. Absolutely? What's the condition? The condition?
It's a rare condition that I got from from multiple surgeries. It's my
splinter muscle is reading backwards, meeting. When it was supposed to open,
it closes, was supposed to close, it opened. On top of that,
I have to use cathis to bee, I have to think a pilip
wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait hold on, time out, time
out, hang on. No, So you've had so many surgeries that they
turned your asshole inside out pretty much. What what's happening is is that my
neurology neurologist eggsted three different options and the other ones were terrible. The long
number two or the box? How about a zipper? The box is exactly
it is the box because I have to get it removed. Wait, you
have to get why wait wait wait wait wait, what do you have to
get removed. See, this is going to my penis is going to be
removed. Why I will so I will have a box. Yeah, So
why does your penis have to get removed because you're because of the simple fact
that my my, my just says it would be more manageable for me to
live female than it would be male because of the caffine and the other problems
that I have that are irreversible. So that's basically why these may I asked
more questions before we go on. I'm talking about you're okay with these questions.
At any point you can say to me, at any point you can
say I'm not comfortable, okay, absolutely, absolutely all right. So what
were you having surgery on that on your sphincter inside out? Well, I
had five testicular surgeries I had on were they were they to be transgender or
was it something like testicular can No, no, no, no, no,
It wasn't particular cancer. What it was was I had to eat another
rare It's an infection. There was a rare infection. It's called epidiymis,
okay, especially where like the ball gets twisted, it gets twisted and the
epiditymus gets infected and that's that's basically what happened. And I had to be
castrated as a chopped off. Yes, I had to be castrated as a
result of disinfection. Wow wow yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a there's
a there's a lot more to the story than people actually now. So that
you went full commitment to this though, yeah, Well I had no choice
because the the horrific theme that I was and it was definitely worth getting rid
of than that they had to do it all over again. I do it
again. How big? How big did your balls get? Probably the size
of a small softball? Yeah, I mean that sounds extremely painful. It
was extremely, extremely horrendous, probably the worst pain I've ever experienced in I
it was absolutely horrible and so and that was just that that I had a
hardy at mess and on and on and on. I had a lot of
different strets. So as a result, you know, it was either the
option of getting a colostomy bag or removing my sphincter muscle and removing my prosty.
But I would then be leaking all over the place and I have to
wear diapers the rest to my I said, I'm not doing that. You
know, people like that Doug a litter box buddy, I'll get out of
here. So so I said all that to say that this is the reason
why I started the business because I'm getting surgery, and some of the surgeries
that I need the insurance is not covering. So I needed to pay out
of pocket to some of the things that I needed to get done. And
I thought, make money. Well, I gave I gave a friend besides
who said I was really really good at it, and I did it with
someone else and they said, you know, you probably can make this,
you know, do something with this, and so I ran with it and
just did you know, my own little freelance kind of business, if you
will, And it got completely blown out of abortion because what I was doing,
I might have named it something different. I mean, if you have
candy, most people might think you, well, tell you that I have
a parlor. Well I have Well the candy girl came from I do performances.
I'm entertainer. I do lots of things, and so I came up
with a stage name so that I wouldn't have to use my name for other
things that I do. So and so the name that I used was Candice
Wolf. And that name was something that I just made up as a stagy
because a friend says, well, you know, if you do anything in
the entertainment field or do anything, you don't want people to really know your
real name because they'll know your information and so on and so forth. So
I came up with this name. So that's what candy Girl actually came from.
The sensual was just for me. It was nothing that was meant sexual
at all. It was just you know, relaxing and sensual, and you
know, so that's what I was going for. What people perceived. People
took it and perceived it as something else, and they totally made it a
huge, huge deal, which really really did not need to be made.
It was definitely made by my neighbor. Your neighbor doesn't like you, No,
he hasn't likeness just the moment he moved in, Since the moment he
moved in, yes, there longer than him. Does he live in the
same building Now, he lives next door. He has his own house next
door. And then you and then you live in a house that's been turned
into apartments, correct, And that's where you were running the business out of.
This is where I was running the business and did anybody know that there
was a business there, So this was sort of like a need to know
basis. I would assume, well, I would assume. So, like
I said, I just I was all new it, this whole entire thing.
I didn't know really what I was doing, and I just was just
trying to supplement my income and I just came up with this idea and I
thought, well, you know what, this is a good idea. Yeah,
but it turns out that it was not a good idea. Hang on
out, hang on now, hang on now, hanging now. Now,
we've been cool so far. Correct, Yeah, you know what I mean.
And when you and I talked earlier, you were saying that you think
this dude is transphobic. I think he's transphobic. I think he's homophobic.
I think he's every phobec that there is, or on top of being a
biggot. Okay, so I'm all right, now let me ask you.
May I asked some other serious questions because we did some digging, Okay,
I did, and we found some ads. Ok yes, correct, correct,
And we saw candy Girl Central Massage the place to get a rub down
with a lay but spelled so you couldn't say it was a lay with like
a Hawaiian ley, candy girl, central massage, the place to get a
rub down and then some. And in these and in both those ads there
is an erect penis. Is there? You come on now, Diva Brown,
don't you be time to me? You know that? What's that?
It's b L A N B S. It's not brown, it's three.
I'm sorry, it's a. I had brown, my plans, thank you,
thank you so. And then there's an another one that says backpage gals
dot com Brooklyn, Yeah, brook I didn't even know about that one myself,
Brooklyn Brooklyn transsexual escorts, candygirl, sentual massage, the place to get
a rubbed down and then some. And then a description. May I read
the description right? Sure? Absolutely? Half black, half Dominican trans woman
that aims to please come with me as I carry you through your journey of
your wildest fantasies and nastiest dreams. L O L well hung and know how
to Now if that, if that's you in the picture, I'd have to
say, pretty well, hung, I guess so. Let me. I'm
a total realist. I'm a total realist and I don't play around when it
comes down to, you know, be honest about things, because I don't.
I don't. I'm always I try to be as honest I possibly can
know. Still I call office now well, no, no, because the
time, at the time, you didn't bring it up, and it just
said you exactly well, you didn't bring it up at the time, so
that's why I didn't bring it up as well. But being that you bring
it up, like I said, this was something that was in the past.
This is not something that was connected with Candy Ground. I only ended
up using miss me let me finish. The only reason, the only reason
why I used the kidygirl and is that ad is because I figured that I
would reach more people that way as opposed to this, as opposed reaching more
people well, like I said, people halfway across. No. No,
this is something I'm very very serious about, and I'm very serain about this
because the simple fact that my name has been slandered and dragged the mind,
which it had should not have been, because I have done nothing wrong to
anyone. Hang on now, all right, now, hang on one second,
because I will agree with you on that that that no one has been
arrested. I said that early on in the story, and I said,
I think there's more to this, but here's here's what I am going to
say. And then you retort, okay, okay, but listen to to
listen to what I say. So what when you talk about the neighbor Michael
Reinhart, who's featured in the Channel thirteen piece, and you can hear the
windchimes playing lovely behind him, he talks about seeing people coming and going at
all hours in the night. Now I'm hang on, I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, don't get yourself out up. We're going to be friends. We're
going to be friends. Kind to you. I'm not gonna be me.
So what I think what this guy was seeing? And then I think he
got hold of the same ads I did, and he was thinking, I
don't want this kind of because sometimes this stuff can attract people who aren't maybe
the best people. Will that be fair to say that is fair? Well,
let me say this. I think that it goes the socioeconomic gamut.
I think you have doctors who may go to a transsexual to get a rub
down. I do, or lawyers. I have no idea. Now the
other thing is to me, it's none of my business. It's not affecting
me. You're not bothering me, you're not doing anything. I don't care.
But I think this guy thought, hey, I don't want this in
my neighborhood right next door. This scares me a little bit. There are
kids in these streets, all that stuff. So when he sees that,
so I don't think it's fair to say that he's transphobic and a bigot.
Well, I'm saying that. The reason why I'm saying that because this man
has always had something against me. I don't even know. I don't even
speak to him. I've probably spoke to him twice in the four years that
he's been living here. I think I've spoken to him two times. I've
never done anything wrong with him, never say anything rude to him. I
remember, like, I don't know why this man has this been Is it
possible that this is this is prior to the transition, This is prior to
this has been a right and he's been trying to get out to get me
for a very long time. All right, Now, have you have you
been performing on stage in I mean you look you look good. There's some
pictures here where I couldn't tell what couldn't you were with Bill this weekend?
But what could have happened? Do you like gummies? By the way,
No, I don't see. I got so fucked up on gummies I passed
out in a stranger's bed could have been yours. But but like I go
ahead, But I do understand that of course, and anyone would feel that
same exact way. But I was not doing anything. And why are you
here? Okay? Now do you know the pictures I'm talking about? Yes?
And you know that when you know the dick pic I'm talking about.
Yes, there's textort to talk about. But like I said, that was
are you chopping that off? That's not even a dick, It's a fucking
till, not that big. No, I have to know, honestly,
I have to say. I mean that's not bad, is it? No?
No, But like I said, to read the whole purpose behind it
before. I don't look at making fun moved. It is something that would
leave my life a lot more marriage as far as you know, developing into
a woman that you want to be. So as a as a result of
all this, you have been evicted. Yes, I have been I've been
asked to the viction process of that's funny yet, but I have been asked
to leave my home and and to you know, relocate somehow due to the
fact that you know, the person who's in charge, the owner of the
ounce, is getting a lot of fun cousin which which is understandable. He's
an amazing guy. He's probably one of the best ways the river had and
he's and I don't want it causing trouble for does he own any other buildings
anywhere else that he may just have other properties? He does have other properties,
other properties that you may be able to go live at. No,
I'm not gonna I'm actually going to venture out on my own on this one.
And it was something I was going to do anyway, because I need
to find my own individuality from other people who don't know me prior to my
transition. I got you, so I'm trying to live start the light.
How How is business? How was business before all this came down? Were
you making good money for your I was doing I was doing okay, you
know. I mean I wasn't making hundreds of thousands of dollars or anything,
but I was doing I was making enough to keep my head above water.
And to you know, to care for myself. Did you have a lot
a lot of repeat business? I have, Yeah, I have. I
had to return clients that came through. Yeah, right, that would come
back, that would come back, you know because like I said, and
when I stay with the and then some with that basically was not meaning on
a sexual term. If you've got to know people think that that would be
absolutely absolutely And like I said, that that had that had nothing to do.
That had nothing to do with what I was trying to do. Like
I said, the whole thing, it was not set up for, you
know, trying to you know, meet myself out to be this you know,
crazy person. Anything I was, I didn't really know what I was
doing. The amateur. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know
anything about doing goodness great I mean no, no, no, no,
we're the only you have employees. No, it's just myself took the picture
of you in the in the uh neglige any pictures that was taken I've taken
to myself. You can you can just balance your phone with a timer.
Yeah, But like I said, you know, I'm not trying to really
focus on the whole factor of you know what my past was or I'm just
posted basically, or what this story was about the fact that I'm going to
tell you where I'm going basically what you know. I wanted to focus on
what the story is about and why I wanted to speak out in the first
place. The reason I wanted to speak out is because I wanted to clear
up money, and I want people to think that I was some kind of
madam or some kind of you know. I don't know what they thought,
but I don't want them to think that I am that kind of person because
I'm not anyone who knows who knows they're a very kind person. I helped
trying to help anybody that I can, and I would never do anything purposely
to harm or hurt anyone or offend anyone. So that was never the intention
from the very beginning. It was never trying to Like I said, I'm
just someone who's just experience, who's and you know, and learned from that
mistake, you know what I mean. Well, look, look, it's
hard for people to buy your story after seeing these lads and knowing that it
was an illegal massage place. For me, I don't care as long as
they're not you weren't hurting anybody. And I'm going to say something, and
this may be offensive to you, but I bet, I bet you your
man hands give a great massage, you know what I mean. And and
by the way, and by the way, if if if you were doing
more than I could see where you would uh well, if you were doing
more than just the massage, right, had the equipment at some point,
you know what, you know what feels good for guys. So that's always
I do, I understand. But listen, I'm no hooker here, hooker
because I think I'm just just I'm not saying you're saying this. I'm saying
this because this is what most people are thinking. And there was never any
six extege for money at any given time. Yeah. No, I think
it's a massage. And if it went a little farther, then it went
a little farther, you know. I think the gentleman just took it and
went farther with it when it really wasn't needed because there was nothing illegal or
anything bad or anything on harming anyone that was so young. Okay, all
right, all right, which is by the way, they can't they can't
find anything. So really we come down to the he said, she said,
and I have all right, now, do you still have clients on
the books? No? I hear that. Okay, I say, since
resolved the okay to candy Land and it's over. Can you girl went to
candy Land? Times a lad? And where are you going? And where
are you going to head? Now? Miss Blands, I'm possibly maybe even
heading back to the Jersey where I'm the originally, It's possible. It's not
a definite plan. But where they do that. We're in Jersey. I'm
originally from Anglewood, New Jersey. So but that you said you want to
go where people didn't know you before the transition, people would know you there
before the transition, Well, well I wouldn't go back to Anglewy I'd be
going back to New Jersey. I would probably in a different part from where
people don't know. Okay, all right, well yeah, New York City
could be good. New York c would be good. You know I know
the city very well. You know, So I mean, so what wily
to? Okay, hang on a second, now I have now we got
deeper, and I get one more question, Doug, bear with me on
this one. We've got somebody who knows New York City, wells from Englewood,
New Jersey, right, and moves to Avon. There's no central massages.
Where How the hell do you end up in Avon? Well? Well,
story short, I came here with my ex at the time. Yeah.
It was they red as much cheaper out here, and he had family
at the time, so that's why we moved out here. Okay, all
right, all right, and we're okay. Was this a man? Yes?
What are you so? Were you gay then? Or were you trained?
I was no. I would say then, like I said, has
this not been had it not been to the medical problem that I have,
that would have never transitioned. I would never ever transitions gotcha? All right?
Well, you know what, whatever, the makeup looks good in some
of these pictures, I gotta say, well, thank you very much.
I work hard, and I hope, I hope you go and perform on
stage or something and do something. Yeah, well that's the plan. I
mean, like honestly, for now, I'm trying to look into a performing
in Rochester. They have a lot of clubs and stuff out there, so
I'm trying to look into getting some gigs and you know, having some fun
and beeting new people coming to the stage center from av on your favorite of
mine. This is going to be Diva Blends. Doug used to be a
strip club DJ years ago. Oh really, I guess we all have a
sort of pastime. I don't know yours seems to be sorted and checkered,
but I'm not judging. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well it's been a
pleasure talking to you. You have a nice talking to you. And uh,
but I think we we can see why the news story went the way
it did. No, I do, I do see why it went the
way it did. Of course, you know, I'm just hoping that you
know, it's just a learning lesson for everyone and that you know, we
can just move on from it and you know, move forward. What what
lesson did you learn not to advertise? You know? You know, honestly,
before I leave, before I leave, I just wanted to say before
I leave it it's one to say that, I'm to say the whole you
know, there was never any kind of intentions or anything. It just was
a way of my own in mature advertising, trying to just get customers and
that's all it was. It was never listen, it sounded like it worked
it sounded like you made money. It sound like you had some fun.
What's the old? Any publicity is good publicity and all ablicity. Who got
hurt other than you and the story? Right? Well? I mean except
for myself, but besides myself, no one else there. Did your bank
account get hurt? Oh yeah, definitely, absolutely absolutely because because because it
was sup permitting some of the other money, like most of the money.
I make peace for all my fields. I take care of myself. How
much? How much is the transition surgery? Just out of curiosity? I
got to end this well, I can tell you it's over over one hundred
thousand dollars for everything I can't yourself. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot
of money, you know. Will you have your pairs of stuffed when you're
done? Well, you haven't taken it to a tax i will? I
totally will right there, I'm going to tax you, dirmit. Yeah,
you're just got great taxi dermits. Could you imagine going in and going I
got this earthworm? He wouldn't believe the size of this. Can you can?
You be great? Diva? Blands been a pleasure. Thank you very
much for having me. There you go, I don't believe any of it.
Yeah, come on, And here's what I don't like. I don't
like. And this sounds terrible because I'm a white guy and people will get
mad at me. But I don't think it's fair to call the neighbor a
bigot and transphobic when I don't think he may or may not be. I
guess that's open to debate. But I don't think that's the root behind this.
I think the route behind this is cars coming in lights, you know,
on his bedroom wall. Who knows at midnight open twenty four to seven
for a while. So I'm just saying, like, you go to the
barbershop, people are gonna be talking. So but the thing is, like,
I think that's what was driving this, and the fact that then somebody
showed him these ads and goes, well, what the half is happening here?
And who knows what could happen? And sometimes I mean, look,
how many times do we hear something goes wrong and there was a robber who
knows right? Because people think there's cash in these operations and whatever, And
I think that's it. And so I just don't like. I don't like
to hear I don't I think are their biggest in the world. Yes,
are there transphobia people? Absolutely? Is it this guy? I don't think
so. I don't think it's fair to weaponize that stuff because the ones who
really are affected by it are going to start to go, well, bullshit,
this is right next door to ye that's enough to be you know.
I'm just saying, all right, we'll take them on ethel You stopped looking
on that window, Doug. Yeah, health does Dad? Oh God?
And we gotta find out about that. Yeah. Next, but first,
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Bill fid and Fairport. So glad we have your ear the man, the
myth religion, the Admiral of the airwaves. Mister Billy, look at you
right to it. I apologize. I was all of a sudden something goofed
up over here with the technological getting that figured out one of these days.
Well you know what, it's a it's yeah, somebody borrows it and then
no, no, no, no, no, it's always a has nothing
to do with anything other than it's simply a software glitch. Once in a
while, it won't connect you. Seventy nine today, John Fogerty, Oh
well, yeahs old yeah. Did you see Bill Walton passed away? No,
I hadn't heard that at all. Really, oh shut three seventy one,
seventy one seventy one cancer And uh yeah, Bill Walton was Uh.
I always loved when he did games. I love watching basketball, so I
watched a lot of Bill Walton And uh no, you didn't play baseball,
did you? No, No, I love I just love watching the game.
I know. I never did because I knew I would get cut from
the team, and I had never been cut from any team in my life.
Never fails. So that was it. I'm not gonna do it,
and I wish I had. It was the worst thing I could have done,
the worst thing I could have done. But because I'm watching my kid
now who wants to play basketball badly? And uh didn't make the high school
team and then got an AAU team and then some kind of transition there and
how much he's improved in just a short period of time. And I go,
you know, keep that focus. You'll get where you want to be.
You just got to keep it focus. And for whatever reason, and
I think also I lived in such a rural area, this is all true.
Like I didn't do sports in the winter because my parents didn't fel like
driving to the school to pick me up. And they made that all buddantly
clear. They hated when I did ski club And there you go, eleven
o'clock on this Friday night, I gotta come back and go. It was
it just it was just like, like, you know, the last bullshit
I have to hear the right Uh. Speaking of that, I heard you
helped your old man. What did you help him or did you stop by
and he was in the middle of something and couldn't figure it out? No
text, I was going to you give him a tutorial on how to double
click his mouse. No to Uh, I was gonna make Jumble I for
the first time. So I was going to Wegman's texts step Mother, I
go you guys home? Why why would you make We make it at Forest
Hill? Was absolutely delicious? So you thought you'd recreate this at home?
Yes? Okay? And I did? All right? He came out,
great, I'll bring something in. Yeah. Yeah, you can buy the
pre mixed stuff at all in case I n Yeah, did you get it
at all? The or the they do do? Yeah? They all.
The shrimp boil is really good. It's got crawfish in it. Though,
if you don't like crawfish, I suggest, don't care above the shrimp.
Yeah. So I texted her and I said, Hey, I'm gonna go
to Wegmans. You guys home. I'll stop over saying Hi, oh yeah
that would be great. I think your dad could use you a little help
on a project. So he's on the front porch doing something. Yeah,
And I go in and they're putting a carpet in their garage and then they
screen it off. Yeah, just like Diva Watson, I could use this
jackhammer. So this forty foot carpet is on an angle tied up to a
beam, and the other parts in a bucket, and you're supposed to pull
the rope and like a shoelace, undoes itself and just gently falls to the
ground. Well, get stuck something. So I go around the corner outside
to get a ladder, and I hear my father's immortal words, son,
I have a plan. Now I didn't say anything at that time, but
I'm thinking me too, and it's involves you watching. So I got on
the ladder. Now, my dad's gonna be eighty next year. He's got
a little shaky, shake y. So I get the get it down.
I'm bringing it down. I'm kicking the bucket little you know. I'm thirty
ft. So what is this supposed to do. It's supposed to be carpet
on the floor floor. Okay, they don't park in the garage. It's
like a garage table. Yeah. So now I'm looking up. I'm bringing
it down. So the carpet is one they use every year. Yeah,
okay, they stored in the wrap sort, and so it's supposed to just
fall down and then you just straighten it out on the floor. Yeah,
got it, got it. So I'm I'm gently bringing it down and I'm
looking up and I see he's got a ceiling fan in the middle of the
garage and I'm just maneuvering it just so it does it hit the ceiling fan.
Right. The ceiling fan is a ceiling fan spinning. Watch out for
the ceiling fan as I'm looking up, and I'm just I just you know,
thanks, No, I can't stand my father, right, So a
couple of times, so I finally get down. I get it outside and
I was starting to reign, so I'm just like, I got this,
and I start fanning like a wrestling matt, which she gets somewhere on her
and I'm moving back and I trip over something. Right, I tripped forward
bringing it in, and I did have to take a tumble roll and they
were really scared. They thought he was I bounced right back. I'm no,
but thank god it was me. And then we're getting it out.
Yeah, I said, you know, you bust my balls that you learn
more about me on Bill And then the one time you need to call me,
you know, God forbid anything happened, And Cathy said, weird.
She said she was just about to text me, which she was about to.
But once your parents get older, yes, I said, you know,
I'm right around the corner. Well, no, understand what's getting older.
You can't do all the things that you used to, you know,
But that's why you have kids. In this way, you have grandkids.
Yes, I know. Well, my all my family lives spread out far
away, and that is a concern. Yes, you know. But if
you talk to my mom and my dad, they're they're pushing each other into
the grave. But they don't live together. No, no, they they're
divorced. But my father will say, that's your mother's hip because she had
the hip hover. Oh great, she don't look like she was walking so
good the last time I saw her. My mother, my mother will say,
your father's Parkinson's. He's shuffling. He can hardly get out of the
chair. I go. The two of them are fucking gets a race to
push the other one the grave first. That's what it is. Now,
who's the closest one to your parents' emergency? Your brother's sister, but they're
out of state as well. Yeah, yeah, okay, so you are
the closest. I'm the closest one. U. My brother and I are
probably equidistant because he'll just live in the hometown where you grew up. They
moved. No, my mom lives there, my dad does not. He
lives in Jersey. Oh so he's actually proximity wise, probably closing my sister
down in the DC area. Okay, he's about seven hours from me,
and I think seven hours from my brother. This is a good and uh
you know what my buddy told me last night that and this is not joke
that with AI, uh talking on the radio or if your voice message,
people can record it and then type it into something. And you get a
phone call last night, Mom, this is Doug. I need a seven
for five thousand dollars seven For years, has it? Yeah, well they
used to do it where somebody would go no, but it's your voice.
Yes, it's a game from Canada. Hey, i've been arrested for DWY.
I don't want to call mom or dad, but can you wire X
amount of dollars? But with your voice? Yeah, I didn't know that.
I thought this was sometimes they had it. Well, the AI is,
that's what the D I mean, it's the new thing. That's why
a lot of times for years you were told when you get these calls and
there's no sound on the other don't say hello, because then they use the
recording of hello of your voice, not AI, but your voice and then
if there's voice activation on some kind of bank account, you know or whatever,
or say some say your name, like if I call and they go,
you know, say say or type in your last name right, and
then I have it. And I think those were the questions speaking old and
not being able to do things. I just want to show you what a
friend of mine, I went to the gym today and uh, he caught
me and has been sending this to everybody and says, I look like I
proved my pants. It's terrible that. Yeah, that looks like I was
walking. My hip was bothering me. So I walked. You looked very
free, like you know, like you're going. You got to get to
the grocery store. Uh you get ten sent off your melons or something like
that. You kinda you could fit into the villages, let's just say that.
Or you got to get home to go to the bathroom. Yeah,
I can see that. Because I didn't see I got to see it again.
I think your problem is different workout clothes. What do you mean?
I don't know, I guy pants. It wasn't that. It was the
way it was working work. Yeah, it was going. It was terrible.
Okay, I gotta go to Wegman the cucumbers and jump a lie.
I'm gonna make it his dugs bacon, and I gotta wait myself and give
get a good bottle of wine. And I'm gonna have Diva Watson or whatever
your name is for dinner. So no sauce, is no hot dogs.
Oh it's bad. That was a bad I see that. I showed that.
I looked at that privately four or five times like a holy fuck,
dude, what the right? So now I gotta I don't know what I'm
gonna do. You gotta you gotta strut your stuff, like say fever,
you gotta strut. Well, you had jobs that you quit? Did you
quit? Was it Kinney shoes? Kinney shoes? I get fired? I
think that was the only one I ever got fired from. And he was
kind of a crazy district manager. This, Yeah, thought working eighty hours
a week gives the norm. Yeah, And he would remember this one manager's
meeting. He said he would have his kids help with stock, stock the
walls and his and I wasn't around it a lot. And you know,
maybe that's why my daughter had seven miscarriages. Who three times just in front
of everybody like out of the blue, and I was just like, do
you think so when you're living at the store. I thought it was prestigious
to be a manager. Kinney's was one of my first jobs. And uh,
I mean, I don't regret it because I made some lifelong friends I
just talked to a few days ago. So friendships lasted over thirty years.
How do you how do you put a price tag on that? You know
through their children being born and their green kids and you know, going to
funerals and being there for them. So I don't regret anything. I never
liked retail and I had to get back into it. Timmy, He'll figure
in California because my strip club, the last one I worked at when I
got fire bomb with a part of the mob, somebody threw in a massle
to cocktail cocktail. Yeah, yeah, did you say a mazzletof missles off
one of it. Yeah, that's what they do on a Jewish bath.
It's over there with moss. I always get this. No, but the
uh oh, my buddy says, hey, let's go to let's go to
Vegas. Yeah, and I'm like, I got one hundred and forty bucks.
No, no, I got money. I how do you get money?
He goes, I got direct deposit and at midnight I got any gas.
He goes, yeah, I got enough gas to get us there,
and then I'll take a guess. So I go, all right, so
I go to Yeah, we go to Vegas, but I don't think I
won one hand. I think half hour hour. I'm broke, I mean
broke broke. Yeah, so we have to wait there at midnight to get
gas money. Midnight comes, he doesn't get the deposit, so we drive
to the border Nevada, California, and he's playing fifty cent blackjack to try
to win us gas money and he lost all his So then he tried this
card at the gas station and luckily it filled up or we got enough gas
to go home. So we're coming home. This is like six in the
morning, and there's like three or four fire trucks outside the strip club I
worked out, which was right around the corner from where I lived. And
that was the end of my job. And the next day was nine to
eleven, no ship. Yeah, so wow, so everything shut down.
Remember, yeah, you're broke, you have no job, and it was
very depressing time for me. Man that's three. You got hit by three
planes. Yeah, the broke plane, the no job plane, and then
the actual towers. Holy shit. So that was a low point because you,
yeah, you know, what are you gonna do? What did you
do? After that? I just went around trying to find a job.
Yeah, and you found the Tommyhill vickor it was a Christmas it happened.
Yeah, So I think I got hired for Christmas help in November. Yeah,
out of four hundred people. Because I had the Kinney Shoes experience.
It was a manager. And then they kept me on after that. Yeah,
and then I ended up quitting that one. You quit, well,
okay. Then I got another strip bar job, a couple of different ones,
and then that's when I decided to come back and make the movie.
You came back here and made the movie. You didn't make the movie out
there? No, I wrote it out there. Okay, you wrote it
out there? Yeah, but uh, Tommy was some of that scripture the
state, Yeah, probably, I love I could have. I think I
think somebody probably started forest fires with a screen. But yeah, that place
was called piece of Ship. Yeah, that was Legs. Then I went
to uh, Timmy Hill figure sam'sf Row and Pleasures that closed down and that
I walked out out. I was I was leaving. I did not like
the owner. He was a asshole. And uh I told one of the
DJs, I go, hey, just by the way, I'm not getting
rid in two weeks, all right? So when if you quit a job,
who took the job you quit? And do you know if they quit
after that? Like I always think that that's like, when somebody quits a
job, it's usually for a reason, bad boss, bad coworkers, hours
sucked. Sometimes they're not the you know, if you actually broke it down
by hour, you're making half of what minimum wage. I mean, you
know, over the years, certainly minimum wage is got up. But uh,
did you know if anybody for a job you quit that replaced you quit
too? I was always replaceable, I felt. I've always felt that at
any job. Yeah, you know, well everybody is everybody. I don't
give a shit who you are. You replacement? You are replaceable. Yeah,
I mean there's gonna be somebody that's gonna do it as well, probably
not Tejing. Somebody else picks up the shift. That's that's all it is.
That's what I've been doing for a while and Tommy Hill figure they had
plenty of employees. Yeah, so it really didn't It didn't matter. Then
they ended up closing down. They was right at the Kodak theater. Yeah,
my parents had come to see visit me, and uh, they went
down there for a movie. I forget if they saw one of the Star
Wars the New ones. Anyways, so they come out and they hit the
red carpet and it was Nicholas Cage movie. And Nicholas Cage was there and
he was coming around and my father takes a picture. Who worked at Kodak
for twenty years and guess what we ran out of film? And all they
have is the back of Nicholas's head. You can see his face, you
can see the little profile that was him. So but they enjoyed it,
and they got pictures with the Georgie Eastman star and then we went to Vegas.
I went, oh, yeah, went to Vegas. I got them
tickets for Wayne Newton. I went and gambled and they didn't make it back
to the hotel to four in the morning from a Wayne Newton show. Yeah,
that's where I said, I'm like to go back. Stay. They
were old then they're ancient now, but and I ended up winning twenty five
hundred dollars. Okay, So then I go to bed. I'm like,
all this is as soon as I get in bed here and they walk I
think it was five o'clock in the morning. Where have you guys been?
And I don't think they had cell phones back then. Oh, we just
walked a strip and everything and blah blah. And I'm like five twenty five.
So then I'm like, there's a lot going on. Yeah. She
was oh my god, this and I go, well, let's get dressed
and let's go have a drink. And she's like, Douglas five o'clock and
more. I'm like, Kelly, there's a bar. So we went down
and I think we drank till six and then stayed another night and then and
had it back. I just saw an ad for a breakfast thing and I
liked it because it goes it's five am somewhere. Yeah. I always think
I love breakfast. Yeah, my favorite. I just wanted to quit a
job because I saw a buddy of mine who was part and I will not
say their names, and I don't know that anybody in this town will know
him. Or his partner. But they had truly one of the best radio
shows in the entire country, in the entire country. They were in Boston
and it was more sports, but these were rock guys that went there and
they were fantastic. And all of a sudden, this one dude who I
knew out of the team just left, and so I ended up talking to
him, and then I found out where he went, and it's where another
guy. There was a team in Rochester that then went to where I worked
in Poughkeepsie, and they were actually making great money. And then they went
back to Boston and one of them died, and so I guess that show
is now over, I would think so. And so they took this guy
gave him his own show. So he's up against his old his old coworker
friend or like I mean, I think they were together for seventeen years.
Wow, and dominated dominated. They were great, really show, four hour
long show, Yeah yeah, really really well done. Mainly sports, but
mainly sports, but but a lot of humor, very funny. Right.
He was probably one of the truly talented people I'd ever seen in this In
that business friend of yours, you said, yeah, I mean somewhat friendly.
Put it that way. Friendly quaintance was, I would say to him
friendly. I probably talked to him every couple of months. Okay, yeah,
just what's happening. And his wife wasn't well and all this stuff.
But he had worked with so many years ago. He was part of a
show that was syndicated and then he left on and did what happened? I
mean, if half your show all of a sudden ocs away, just they
put somebody else in there and hope that it was that it worked. And
sometime marriage and sometimes he's gone, I get somebody who right, I ain't
watching these I don't even know how to work that watcher. She blew me
for some time. It doesn't you know, sometimes it won't go as well,
and sometimes you just cut your losses. But here's the thing is that
usually it's high price talent, and you're not replacing high price talent with high
price talent. Right, if somebody's made and I or if it's a good
mix, it could be. I mean, well, if I got somebody
who's like really hungry, but I don't have to pay them four hundred and
fifty thousand dollars a year, I can pay them. You're paying four hundred
fifty thousand dollars. Do you see what I'm saying. I mean, this
is the money we're talking so and I guarante. I mean, look,
I worked in the business. I know, I know, I know,
and that's all I'll say. Okay, because I even know the current state
of the business at a local level, I know. Yeah. So like
when somebody goes, then their salary goes, will you replace it with somebody
with half that? If you got even half the rings for three quarters,
you're still in the winning end as a business, right, So that that's
the way they look at it. That's usually that's how it goes, right,
the ratings and hopefully it works out. Yes, Uh, just want
to add this to you real quick though. Sure. Last week we talked
to full Tan Sun Camp. Yes that's right, Yes, you said they
want me back or something. Carry Anne send a message. September twenty eighth
is the date I was talking to the guys about. That's the night they
all gather up here after the Nude Cave stroll. There's a couple of other
dates on the calendar. Still in need of entertainment. Here's the link to
the events page. Tell them they can pick whichever they want and I can
juggle the rest around. If you see hesitation in their faces, remind them
what my best advice was. And no, they don't have to undress,
loll they just have to be okay. Seeing the undressed well obviously my business.
You know you saw the undressed, yes, yes, but this is
a different This is definitely different. Do you want to do comedy there?
Yeah? You really that? September twenty eighth, Why not? It's called
the Letting It All Hang Out Tour with Bill Moraine and Billified. We could
just go to newdist camps and do the you know, oh my god.
As I look at the door in the audience, I can see nobody's really
excited for me to be out here. But you know, everybody got their
towel. I think I think this would be great. I think so.
I think you never know what it's gonna be a startup. All right,
we'll take a moment. I have a question that and I'm serious, and
I'll give you the story behind what is making this question Okay, but think
about this and don't answer right now. But have you known, if you've
ever known anybody to have anger management, or even a sexual harassment class.
Can the people who have been ordered to go to anger management actually be rehabbed?
I just sit on that for a moment. We'll get to it next.
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Say it with me. Everything on Deskbats Drive and East Rochester open every day,
Ben hen No, come on, Doug, you give me that strip
club DJ introll this round number four here in Fairport, ladies, it's showtime.
Get your love dollars ready for the so fine, the evident mine.
He's got you wet between the knees twenty four to seven six. We'll turn
your sphincter inside out like Diva Bland six foot two in Eyes of Blue.
I'm just a sidekicked Douggie fresh Well, the one, the only, the
man, the myth legend from Pickenzie, New York, where the men are
men and the sheep are scared. Mister Bill Mare I so badly when Diva
was on and said that about the strings, I go, it sounds like
your asshole turned into one of those rotating doors. Yeah, you know what
I mean? Right, this is enough enough. I mean I end up
chock my break past day because I use him. What you need your spicture
changed inside out, I remember now, like rotating tires for the winner.
I can tell you that when I was starting in radio, the was a
guy named Bob Wolf Bob Wolfeld and Bob was in Poughkeepsie and he had a
really successful morning show, and he one bit he did was that he called
a parts department and asked for a sphincter for a sixty nine Corvette or something
like that, and they kept putting him on hold and sending them to someone
else, send to someone else, and it was kind of funny. Yeah,
sphincter. No one knew what a sphincter was back in the ninety early
nineties. Blinker fluid too, you send your kids, Oh, go ask
for blinker fluid. That's always nice. Yeah, that's nice to a lot
of these things. Obviously, in the reels in the Internet and old jokes
come out, or they can film new jokes, maybe rehashed a little bit,
you know, But the ones with the voices, I always remember those
were the ones that you couldn't send on the internet. You can't send on
your phone because you're gonna lose something if you gotta have talk funny or you
know, like the guy goes in a doctor's office. He goes, doctor,
I've had this voice all my life anymore. He goes, all right,
let's do a CASCAD X ray, blood work, will find out what's
wrong with you. And I get the results back and he goes well,
we figured it out. It seems that you're such a well hung of a
man putting some kind of tension on your vocal cords. Well, is there
anything you do? Yeah, we can amputate some of your penis off.
You'll be about adversised manual of a regular voice. Okay, let's do it
to the operation. Everything goes great. Guys in the doctor's office three weeks
later with a regular voice, he goes, Doc, whatever you took off,
you gotta put it back in. I don't get laid. The girls
don't call me. He goes, whatever you took off? Can you put
it back on? Doctor says well, I don't know, but you can't
put that an email. Yeah, but you could do the video. Yeah.
I do my Friday funnies with Jamie, which he says he doesn't like.
But he's slowly turning into a diva. The the reason wooa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. You're calling this guy out for what. Oh he's
a good guy, but he s heard my jokes so many times. If
I joke the bar, he'll tell customers, don't don't laugh, please,
don't last, don't encourage him. Do you think the guys like that.
Have you ever had anybody in the in the bar businessman sent to anger management
manager if it was a chain, if it were to hear that. You
know, I've heard jokes, you know they should go to anger management,
Yeah, because they're always angry, you know. But I don't I've never
known anybody to do that. I always wonder, like, I don't know,
I mean, what do you get an anger management? A T shirt
and a reminder to count backwards from ten? I don't know if you get
a chip like you do, don't you know if you're that good. I
didn't watch the movie Anger Management, But the same thing, like with sexual
harassment or any of these things that are more today, like some kind of
personality rehab or something to watch a video online at the bar I worked at
probably about seven years ago, and it was an hour video and you just
had to sit there and watch through it. Yeah, for sexual harass,
for sexual harassment, well, sexual harassment. And I understand because things have
changed in things that were once acceptable to say, hey, whatever, it
doesn't work. But I want to read you this story. And this is
why I asked the question. The officer who has identified in a lawsuit,
and they only call. The officer, John Doe, was on duty October
twenty fifth, twenty nineteen, at about two pm. So I think that's
pre pandemic twenty two, twenty nineteen, twenty nine. Yeah. In November
November twenty nineteen, when he spotted a man later identified as John Christopher spatafor
illegally crossing the street in a downtown city near city Hall and the railroad checks.
The fifty five year old guy worked in the information technology for a community
hospital, was about a block from his workplace. Police report it. Replace
report described the man is extremely confrontational during the questioning, but he took the
ticket and both men went on their way. Okay, no big deal,
right, The encounter should have been over at that point, But what followed
was a series of bizarre events that the officer's lawyer called a quote cyber campaign
of hate and revenge against the officer, his wife, and his daughter.
The officer is suing this fifty five year old man who's now how many years
are we with a five years later? Fifties, he's now sixty. He's
suing the man and the hospital for, among other things, invasion of privacy,
negligent inflection of emotional distress, intentional inflection of emotional distress, and negligent
supervision of an employee. He's seeking no less than five and a half million
each for himself, his wife, and his daughter, which I think that's
like sixteen and a half million dollars. Ye's looking for. Punitive damages are
to be determined by a jury of trial. A pre child discovery conference is
scheduled for June six. That's coming up in about a week or two.
Court records and police reports detailed the lengths this motherfucker went to to carry out
his plan of revenge. A few days after getting the jaywalking ticket, the
officer began or giving The officer began receiving password reset codes, indicating someone was
trying to hack his email account. The attempts continued at least ten more times
over the next several days. Then the phone calls, emails, and text
messages began. Spatafor had unleashed thousands of information requests to car dealers, solar
companies, and retailers. According to the lawsuit, in one day, the
officer received one hundred texts to his personal phone. Lamborghini, Rolls, Royce,
and Maserati dealerships started to deluse this officer with calls responding to your requests
concerning online orders and online inquiry that he never made. Wow, so just
bot fucking wild? Is this all because of jay wat? We used to
I remember in college some girl sent signed me up. I would get Tourette's
syndrome mail like shoved in my college mailbox because she filled out a form and
put my name in a dress in there. I remember a couple of guys
years ago, like thirty years ago, to buyer worked at that. Uh,
they signed him up for a gay club that you wanted to come out.
Yeah, and you didn't know how. Yeah, this is going to
help you, This will help you. Well, it sounds like a reasonable
right gay mail. How many times do you think that happened? Out of
every ten, there's got to be two. That's some dickhead, don't you
think out of every ten? Maybe maybe one? One out of a thousand
somebody would do that. I just you hang out with the wrong crowds.
Yeah, you saw the video I showed you me on the strete. Yeah,
secretly being taken. Yeah that's me. Let's see further. There was
also indications of attempted intrusion. Into the plane offs wireless Internet, which suggested
that Spatifor lurked outside his house at all hours of the day at night to
hack into his wireless internet and was within a short radius of the internet's treat
invasion of privacy. Absolutely yeah, trying to get in there. He denied
hacking into the officer's email account. Still the harassment escalated. He filed a
false police report. This guy Spatafford got the jaywalking ticket filed a false police
report accusing the officer of being involved in a hit and run. In the
narrative portion of the police report, he said the police motorcycle riding on a
sidewalk without lights or sirens, appeared intoxicated on drugs, all while laughing aloud.
An investigation by the police found that the incident didn't happen, which is
a waste of time in manpower, and a search warrant later revealed the online
report was tied to the guy's IP address at the hospital that they get into
like cyber forensics, spatafor filed the second false report, this time allegend the
officer's wife was the victim of domestic violence. He also told police the officer's
Cistern Law had a photographic evidence of the abuse, although police investigations found nothing
the humiliating bloh blah, blah blah. The officer and his wife received a
message indicating their personal computers camera had been hacked and the hacker had compromising videos
that he threatened to release unless the demands were met. I require your one
hundred percent attention for the upcoming twenty four hours, or will certainly make sure
you live out of guilt for the rest of your life span. I know
nearly everything about you, all right, so oh oh, this is my
favorite one though. Sorry, that's all right. While some of the harassment
was threatening, other incidences were infuriating. Spatifor allegedly tried to get the officers
water and trash services turned off in Thanksgiving Day. You can do that.
You write alert to the RG and E and you say, hey, I'm
going on a vacation. My wife and I are going on us oh two
month truth, my god, please turre my water and so. I don't
know if they contact her, if they try and you don't answer, or
how that works. You I heard that years ago. I don't know if
you can still do that. The officer was forced to intervene with the city
to stop this from happening. Nearly a month after he began his online harassments,
Bataphor was arrested. He was driving within a mile of the officer's home
when police pulled him over. Inside his car was a loaded thirty eight that
he did not have registered and he didn't have a license to carry the handgun
and denied being the owner. The hospital fired the guy. Blah blah.
Here's where my question comes in. The guy had restraining orders against him.
There's a criminal case. But his lawyer said, with all that has happened,
when he was arrested, he apologized and has been remorseful and apologetic.
He lost his job of seventeen years. He was incredibly upset because this crossover
into his family life, and he's using every possible outlet, uh to redeem
himself. So I think they're saying that the guy went to like anger management
and he's rehabbed, and so instead of going to prison, instead of going
to prison, I go, how this guy you've there has got to be
others trying to ruin his life. There has got to be others anger management
for eight weeks and I'll be off Scotch. Well, this is the thing
that I don't understand. I'm going this has there has to be others.
Yeah. Uh. The program is designed to provide treatment for defendants with mental
health issues instead of sending them straight to prison. Treatment can last up to
two years. A senior associate with the law firm that's defending him defended the
decision to have him treated for mental illness, saying he was not in the
right mental state at the time. He is a changed man who is active
in his church and is also a grandfather. Wow, now after all them
going work to imagine, imagine being that guy's name, Like, there's got
it. This This doesn't happen over a jaywalking ticket like I think it's And
some of it's funny, like having the guy, I mean, seeing somebody
jump through I used to I used to love I don't know why, but
I would love to mess around with my dad. My dad when he moved
to Jersey, he moved, he took over his mom's place, and his
mom's sisters lived literally down the street, and then one of them died and
so there was only you know, the one left. And he would always
tell me, hey, there's a porn store and they deliver. They have
a big sign that this delivery, and he goes they got this big logoed
up van and all this. So one day I call him, I go,
what are you doing? He's like, why, I said, go
near the window. I just I just had ann Irene send something from the
name of the store. He goes fucking running. He trips out the door.
He falls, grat and not laughing my ass right. But like those
kind of jokes are funny, Like if you could get somebody's on Thanksgiving Day,
if you could just get under somebody's skin and have their water and garbage
like like like that, that would be really really like dickish. But to
go to this length and you're gonna tell me anger management fixes that mental helmet,
I don't know. He's getting out of jail. That's all it is.
There's gotta be more. But I don't think this works. I don't
think an anger management stuff can actually work. Maybe maybe I'm making it.
I get very many people ubering, you know, then you're just crossing,
and I'm like, the crosswalk is ten feet away? Is there really that?
Are you really? Uh? I yelled? A couple of weeks ago,
you had a guy the light was green, and he's just walking through
traffic. He's just waving and trying to direct traffic. You know, high
or drunk, I don't know. I go, the fuck is wrong with
you somebody? And then if you hit him, you're in the fault because
it's fucking We went from walk and don't walk because and then so you had
a green guy and you hit a red hand and people still can't figure this
out. Very simple if you take care of all little things. Yeah,
there want to be so many big things. One of my buddies I saw
me. He goes, you're turning into a grumpy old man. I'm like,
you know what you deal what I see and you can see. What
age do you think you start becoming grumpy like a grumpy old man? Though?
You think fifty? Yeah, okay, According to a new study that
you're off, I'm off, yes, my racker, I'm not in a
racker. The average person starts to get more negative. Let's say that way.
What age do you think they start to get more negative, They're still
going to stay fifty I'll say fifty, okay, forty two, forty two?
Yeah, yeah, I mean there's a lot of I feel like more
people are optimistic these days. O. Boy, I don't. I don't
know. I can't agree that because everywhere I go, you're looking at prices
and I'm just like, oh god, this is this much? That much?
I'm like, well, inflation, and inflation is due, I think
mostly because gas prices. Yeah, I don't, you know, whether you
like Trump or not, gas was lower. Wasn't inflation because it runs the
world. Yeah, you got to have your crops. They're not working on
solar tractors. No, you have to get the craps done shipped to Wegmans
and you have to drive to it. Gas gas gas, you know,
and the truckers and everything. It's yeah, pretty simple. I don't know
why they're working. I don't know why can't be better. It just seems
unbelievable. It was just better four years ago. You didn't like the guy,
But gas prices are lower. We didn't have this inflation. Yeah,
I don't. I'm not sure the way economics work that it's that that it's
that simple. Because if you were to say that, and you're gonna hate
this, but this is a fact and you can go look it up.
Okay, Biden's put more jobs in with the Chips Act and that whole thing
that he built down in Syracuse that he came in for. That everybody was
outraged about the timing on, but that has actually those jobs. Jobs are
those jobs that people are going back to after COVID. No, these are
new jobs. There are new jobs with new companies that are being built around
the country and there, and there's a lot of them. So he's actually
helped in that. In that regard, I think that Joe Biden's made a
lot of mistakes with his cabinet, and he's allowed himself to be pulled too
far to the left, and if he went to the right, I think
that there are many people within the the the other side of things. For
Cocopusk, I think people. I think people think that. But if I
were to tell you that within six months, a seventy nine year old man
which would be Trump, and an eighty two year old man have some kind
of grave illness, would you be surprised? No? No, And then
so I think that you've got those kind of problems there. I hear too
much with Trump being just the lies that he tells from people within his own
cabinet who come back and go, why did you say that? And he's
like, it just sounded better. And I think that there's too many people
who think that he's he's nuts, Like they literally people within his cabinet have
written books that go, he's nuts, He's not what you want in there,
and he shouldn't. But we need to be more in the middle,
and we've gone too far in direction and that and that's that's like bad.
Somebody from the military run for president. Somebody younger. So what do you
have to be forty five years old to be president? Uh? Forty you?
I thought, yeah, forty two, somebody from the military. I
would like that little stricter, you know. No, I thought you could
be thirty five to be president. You think that might be governor? No,
I look it up. I'm gonna I'm gonna look it up right now.
I don't want to misquote that because I was thinking that I don't misquote
me. So I'm gonna go get Diva's dung and eadman. I think JFK
Junior massages. I was there with Robert Kraft awesome in Avon, and I
went to the double peacher driving with I'm gonna say, seven thirty five is
what I thought. Let's see, yeah, be at least thirty five years
thirty five years old, for US Constitution says the president must be a natural
born citizen. Un I say, it's be at least thirty five. That's
thought. That's it. Yeah, we have nobody who wants to be thirty
five thirty five and wants to be present now now without the without the money,
well, without the I mean, but here's the other here's the other
thing that you're gonna By the way, these these jobs don't pay that much,
but then they retire in their multi million jobs the Senate and the president
only plays three hundred and twenty thousand, right somewhere five thousand. Yeah,
yeah, so yeah, but you go and you write books, you're the
leader of the world. You've got you know, all this stuff. You're
still spend your money. Well, well, I don't think they say,
and you're done, and uh Eva Watson's website for such a massage with Mike
Crank And yeah, I guess the bank account kind of starts, right.
I think right now, I think Biden's got way more money than Trump does.
Yeah, to run that's the problem. I mean, you're gonna this
will be an interesting thing. Somebody sent me something today. They get ready,
the power is gonna go out, and I hope you got enough food.
I go, what are you talking about? What are you? What
are you talking about? The power's gonna go Yeah. The prices of everything
is just it's just crazy. No, they're saying they they sent me a
thing going, uh, the ship's about to hit the fan. So I
had just posted something online. I go, what do you? What are
you? What are you referring to? And they're like, oh, it's
not that's not really Biden up there. It's somebody in a mask and the
power is about to go out. I hope you got enough food to last.
And I'm like, oh my god, we were worried about Trump.
We jumped way of Yeah, I go off the deep end. Yes,
we jumped way way off. I'll tell you what, you better start watching
Little House in the Prairie. You know how to crap your own feet,
Uh, crap your own food. We'll get that litter box because the water
is going to be turned out and you can't take it. Beep and Winner's
coming. The world is my urinal I I don't I know I just stick
it through the fence. Yeah, right through that. I don't this would
destroy the fence, right. I don't think we're in uh. I don't
think it's going to be that bad. No, no, And I'm not
sure who will becomes president. Well, I think that some people get very
concerned with Trump because right now, well, there was going to be no
the founding fathers wanted no branch of government. He wanted separate three to be
greater than any other. Right, so there were terms. He wants to
change that and has ways to try to do that and has said it.
And so I think that scares a lot of people because then it would be
president for life instead of instead of a democracy the way we have it,
according to things he said in speeches. That's all. So I don't know,
you know, I guess we'll find out. Yeah, I mean,
we'll see. Here's the problem when you have when you have something like this,
it'll be and this is my prediction, the lowest turnout in the history
of the United States for a presidential election if these two guys come yet.
Yeah, yep, because I think you're going to have somewhere better tell all
those people in their tents in San Francisco to go vote. I think you're
going to have somewhere around. I wouldn't be surprised if you. I don't
know. I'm thinking hundreds of millions will not vote, and they'll just be
so opposed to both of them, yes, so that they won't vote right,
and that that's what happens traditionally, historically, while those who watch the
stats of these things, that's what happens. So if that's the case in
this one, then whoever can persuade just two million of these non voters will
probably win the election. That's going to require money. Diva Brown should get
on the ballot. You know, rock out with your cock out twenty twenty
four. It could happen. Why don't have partly move in one of these
spaces around you? There is a massage parlor where there's a legit like to
physical therapy. Why do want physical therapy? Oh well, we don't do
that. BackRub, listen to your podcast. Go to the other side of
the tracks and do that. Buddy. Yeah, how's your leg? My
middle leg is really stiff and I gotta work out the kings. I'm gonna
go do comedy this Nudas County I'm she really wants this to happen. That's
it? Is it cold? I don't have to get naked. I might
just wear shorts. Maybe I'll get up there naked. I don't know.
I probably wouldn't. But then again, there are no cameras. No,
that's true, so cameras, but this is not one you can put on
your joke about porn. I'm thinking, Wow, if I joke about porn,
all of a sudden, I think of Ginger Lynn and I start getting
as stiffy. I'm like, well, is this boring? Just the thought
of Ginger Linnen? What else am I going to think about? What I'm
over? Any? I mean, I see day Long. You know you're
the Fairport Wegman's. There's some hotty Domani's out there that already got that big
ring. But I know Dan's not at home because he's out making Money's right?
How do you pay for that ring? Baby? Absolutely? Oh yo?
Yeah, Dougie fresh Tomorrow mom a medium for one on one. She
had her own show. Who has it better than us? Baby? Nobody?
It's right, I s because doug was having a bad day. For
Dougie fresh Man, I'm Phil Moran. I'll see tomorrow spend HM