WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:03.160 What's up, beautiful people. I just had to jump in with a quick 2 00:00:03.160 --> 00:00:07.120 reminder that it's going to be a stormy September. All right, September one, 3 00:00:07.240 --> 00:00:10.640 I'm in New York at City Winery. September fifteenth, I'm in Philly 4 00:00:10.679 --> 00:00:14.519 at World Cafe Live, and you don't want to miss this. I've teamed 5 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:17.120 up with my girl each from the East, Your Heart Out Podcast, and 6 00:00:17.160 --> 00:00:20.440 it is going to be lit all right. For tickets, click the link 7 00:00:20.440 --> 00:00:23.640 in my bio or go to stormyp dot com. I can't wait to see 8 00:00:23.679 --> 00:00:31.920 you guys. Now, let's get to the show. WHOA, what's up, 9 00:00:31.960 --> 00:00:35.159 beautiful people. It is your baby Mama, Favorite Baby Mama, And 10 00:00:35.240 --> 00:00:40.960 this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Zip the modern day female perspective. 11 00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:45.119 Damson back at it again, and we are back at it again in Studio 12 00:00:45.280 --> 00:00:48.679 seven. Y'all. We recorded so much content while we were in Atlanta. 13 00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:53.000 This is like our first time recording in over a month, so I'm still 14 00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:55.880 trying to remember how everything goes. But yeah, I got a few things 15 00:00:55.880 --> 00:00:59.200 I want to talk to you all about. First, y'all, It's going 16 00:00:59.240 --> 00:01:03.000 to be a story. Let me September Okay, September one, I am 17 00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:08.400 in New York a City Winery September fifteenth. I am in Philly and World 18 00:01:08.400 --> 00:01:11.799 Cafe Live. Not gonna lie. Almost forgot world for those worst, but 19 00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:18.120 listen. If you want to come check me out September first, September fifteenth, 20 00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:19.200 all you have to do is click the link of my bio or go 21 00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:23.400 to stormyp dot com. Y'all. Like I said, it's good to be 22 00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:27.359 a stormy September September one. I'm in New York at City Winery. September 23 00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:30.760 fifteenth. I'm at World Cafe Live in Philly, and I definitely want to 24 00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:36.359 see you guys there. Me and my girl Isha Hartout Podcasts have linked up 25 00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:38.599 to do the thing for the Thing thing, and I'm not gonna lie. 26 00:01:38.599 --> 00:01:42.359 I'm gonna try to bring all that energy that y'all be having in the comments 27 00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:45.280 because she'll be doing a lot of this, a lot of this, and 28 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:47.640 I want to see if the energy is they were in a person. Okay, 29 00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:49.280 So click the link of my bio and get your tickets, or you 30 00:01:49.319 --> 00:01:53.439 can go to stormype dot com and get them there. And I can't wait 31 00:01:53.480 --> 00:01:57.079 to see you guys. Yeah you do. Oh, We're gonna link up 32 00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.680 I know, did it looks like a scissor. It's not a scissor. 33 00:02:00.799 --> 00:02:02.040 This looks like a scissor kind of, but it wasn't a scissor. I 34 00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:08.719 wasn't talking about that's listen. Why if you want to learn our gang signs, 35 00:02:08.759 --> 00:02:13.520 just say that shy. Okay. So, if you were living on 36 00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:16.800 the East coast, then you know that this past week, really week and 37 00:02:16.879 --> 00:02:21.080 a half, two weeks, maybe even a month, it's been a heat 38 00:02:21.120 --> 00:02:24.000 wave. Like if you still don't believe that global warming is real, you 39 00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:28.840 need to go talk to the lady because it don't make no sense how hot 40 00:02:28.919 --> 00:02:32.759 it's been. And when it's hot, it's usually funky. Okay. And 41 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:38.719 I don't know about y'all, but I had the scariest moment of my life 42 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:43.360 this past week. Okay. So I was doing a podcast, not mine, 43 00:02:43.439 --> 00:02:50.520 somebody else's, and as I was exiting, it smells like onions. 44 00:02:51.400 --> 00:02:54.080 It smells like onions, y'all. It smells like your onions. And I 45 00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:58.879 didn't know if it was me and y'all. I was so scared. I 46 00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:00.080 was so scared. I was like, oh my guy. Now everybody were 47 00:03:00.120 --> 00:03:02.719 talking like that's that bit you'd be talking shit on the internet. But she 48 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:07.000 snanked like I know it. I knew that's what I was gonna say about 49 00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:10.960 me. They were gonna say that about me, right, stir me pe 50 00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:16.680 you yes, yes, I just knew they were gonna talk shit about me. 51 00:03:16.759 --> 00:03:20.560 Right, So I'm like real self conscious, go walking like fucking them 52 00:03:20.560 --> 00:03:23.280 in an army and got my arm straight to my side. Right, So 53 00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:27.599 when I step outside, someone comes behind me and it's like, let me 54 00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:34.879 see your arm real fast and sniffs my underarm. Y'all, my stomach dropped 55 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:38.560 to my stomach, like my stomach dropped to my ass. My stomach dropped 56 00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:42.919 to my ass because I've already acknowledged somebody hurt stink, but I didn't know 57 00:03:42.919 --> 00:03:46.319 if it was me. And then this man grabs my arm to smell me, 58 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:47.840 and I didn't have time to check if it was me. Y'all. 59 00:03:47.879 --> 00:03:53.080 Wanted to shit on myself. I wanted to shit on myself like probably still 60 00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:55.080 wouldn't have help the smell, but I was terrified. I was terrified, 61 00:03:55.240 --> 00:04:00.599 right, So he goes all right, I just had make sure it wasn't 62 00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:05.520 you. Now here's the thing, right. That whole interaction took maybe two 63 00:04:05.560 --> 00:04:10.560 seconds or I just had to make sure it wasn't you two seconds. During 64 00:04:10.599 --> 00:04:14.080 those two seconds, my mind has already figured out three different ways to curse 65 00:04:14.120 --> 00:04:18.279 this nigga, out four different excuses for why maybe funky, five different excuses 66 00:04:18.279 --> 00:04:21.439 of which fuck I can say as a comeback, like my mind is going 67 00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:26.800 rampant. And then when he said like it wasn't you, I just had 68 00:04:26.839 --> 00:04:29.240 to make sure. He's like, oh, you know, because I got 69 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:30.639 some secret in the back, like you know, I was gonna hook you 70 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:34.160 up by why I'm what you're walking around like that? Okay, Two things 71 00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:38.480 first, I don't want your community deodorant that you give all your hoos when 72 00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:42.879 they side through here. That's the first thing. The second thing is I 73 00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:45.279 got daddy issues a little bit. So the fact that he just grabbed my 74 00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:46.959 arm without help, like asking me, it turned me on a little bit. 75 00:04:47.879 --> 00:04:50.600 It hurt me on a little bit. It hurt me on a little 76 00:04:50.639 --> 00:04:57.439 bit because hixic it is toxic. It's toxic for sure. I know it's 77 00:04:57.480 --> 00:05:00.639 toxic. Like I am emotionally into elegent enough to realize that that was a 78 00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:03.920 very toxic moment of me. Like the fact that he was assertive enough to 79 00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:06.279 not give me a chance to say, yepo, hey, I'm on me. 80 00:05:06.560 --> 00:05:10.000 Like that turned me on, Like he just had to pull up on 81 00:05:10.040 --> 00:05:11.879 me and say, yo, bitch, let me make sure ain't choose thinking. 82 00:05:12.120 --> 00:05:15.319 I appreciated that, Like I like that, And that's when I knew, 83 00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:17.839 damn, maybe I'm still a little toxic. I worked out like the 84 00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:21.720 majority of the toxic shit though, like the big toxic pieces, so like 85 00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:26.959 if I still got a little few toxic ones, that's fine. Yeah yeah, 86 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.839 yeah, long story short, I'm I was scared. The more of 87 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:35.399 the story is I was scared. I was so scared, y'all, because 88 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:38.720 like what if he would have sniffed it? And he was like, oh 89 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:41.519 my god, what if he would have sniffed it? And it was me 90 00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:46.160 just just just telling the story and recanting it, like y'all, I feel 91 00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:48.800 like I got shit again. Like it was so scary to me, so 92 00:05:48.800 --> 00:05:54.600 so freaking scary, so scary. Um. But yeah, long story short, 93 00:05:54.639 --> 00:05:59.519 put on the order it and like I said before, right, and 94 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:02.480 I mean, what all due respect, you know how they have like a 95 00:06:02.519 --> 00:06:10.120 smoker section at like hospitals, buildings, concerts, whatever. I think we 96 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:14.600 should have a section for people who wear natural deodorant, like, we should 97 00:06:14.639 --> 00:06:17.079 have an aluminum free section. Yeah, I do. I think that. 98 00:06:17.160 --> 00:06:25.600 I think that, And it's because the fumes that some of you put off 99 00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:30.279 when you're aluminum free have to be the same level of toxic as nicotine and 100 00:06:30.360 --> 00:06:35.279 tobacco. I believe that it's not everybody. I know it's not everybody, 101 00:06:35.560 --> 00:06:44.519 but some of y'all, some of y'all, some of y'all, some of 102 00:06:44.600 --> 00:06:48.240 y'all, okay, are fighting a horrible fight and you're losing, all right. 103 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:53.240 And another question I have is when you wear like aluminum free deal deodorant 104 00:06:53.519 --> 00:06:59.360 or natural deodorant, y'all can't reapply because, like in my mind, you 105 00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.600 know that the big and soda and lime juice or whatever time's been putting in 106 00:07:02.720 --> 00:07:05.920 air, it's wearing off, so you have to put some more on it. 107 00:07:06.560 --> 00:07:10.360 Why y'all don't never put more on it? And then I don't know, 108 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:13.560 somebody told me it's also based on what your diet is. So I'm 109 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:17.759 gonna say, hey, we need an aluminum free section and concerts out there, 110 00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:21.600 venues, hospitals everywhere, okay too, I want to say, you 111 00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:26.000 can't just go aluminum free and still be eating pork chops and red bull and 112 00:07:26.079 --> 00:07:30.519 smoking cigarettes. You can't. It's not going to add up, okay, 113 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:33.319 because now you're walking around smell like a holy factor. You gott and everybody 114 00:07:33.399 --> 00:07:44.079 confuse, please please just please, thank you, thank you. So I 115 00:07:44.160 --> 00:07:47.680 was talking about when a guy had pulled my arm and smelled my underarm, 116 00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:50.160 and like, men, I couch you bet a little bit because you know, 117 00:07:50.199 --> 00:07:54.279 like I said, I got daddy issues, right, So I wanted 118 00:07:54.319 --> 00:08:00.439 to focus on things that turned me on for a second. By now, 119 00:08:00.720 --> 00:08:03.560 if you've been listening for a while or shit, even if you've been listening 120 00:08:03.560 --> 00:08:09.680 for this episode, you've probably figured out that I'm not the average person, 121 00:08:09.319 --> 00:08:16.480 Okay, so the things that were turned on the average person, I just 122 00:08:16.519 --> 00:08:20.680 need a little bit more than there. Right. So one of the things 123 00:08:20.720 --> 00:08:24.720 that really really really turns me on is I love when I can provide a 124 00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:28.920 man piece. Like that's a different type of flex. Providing a man piece 125 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:35.559 is a different type of flex, but my piece is a little bit different. 126 00:08:35.840 --> 00:08:39.360 Right. So it's like when we talk about providing peace, like, 127 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:41.879 yeah, you can, you know, make him feel safe enough to express 128 00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:48.080 his feelings or you can, you know, lighten his lole. You can 129 00:08:48.399 --> 00:08:52.039 provide a you know, a satisfied, peaceful home. But when I say 130 00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:58.480 I like providing a man piece, I like when we like laying down an 131 00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:03.519 old boys breakdance in his sleep. You know I'm talking about, right, 132 00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:09.000 y'all know what I'm talking about. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Yes, 133 00:09:09.080 --> 00:09:13.960 you do, a majority of niggas breakdance and they sleep. Dog, 134 00:09:13.039 --> 00:09:18.200 I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to tell you when they first fall 135 00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:22.279 asleep, probably them, like the first minute you just catch them doing this 136 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:31.200 ship there. Why are you watching niggas sleep because I'm weird, But like, 137 00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.360 listen, like the first minute, ladies know what I'm talking about. 138 00:09:33.799 --> 00:09:37.440 Like within the first minute that they fall asleep, they just start pop blocking 139 00:09:37.480 --> 00:09:43.000 and ship right. And it's like, Wow, I made him feel like 140 00:09:43.120 --> 00:09:46.360 safe enough to where like all the tension that he'd been holding up all day 141 00:09:46.679 --> 00:09:50.879 now he can let it free. They could be sleep. We don't do 142 00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:54.960 what ever we do with it? So how idores you? Because I said 143 00:09:54.960 --> 00:10:00.240 so? Because I cleaned it in the name of Jesus. Okay, I'm 144 00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:03.559 the only one who feel that way. So La Diva says, that's not 145 00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:07.919 weird to watch a man sleep. Thank you. That's when y'all'all a cute 146 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:09.919 is for real, for real, y'all mouth closing, and y'all can't start 147 00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:13.360 lying, thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, I'm just 148 00:10:13.399 --> 00:10:16.679 saying, like, I don't think it's weird to watch me and sleep and 149 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:18.399 you don't really have to be watching him, like sometimes a movie will be 150 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:22.039 on. He's like, I'm not sleep but dog, I see you fucking 151 00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:24.480 being popping peatie Like I hear, I see it, I feel it, 152 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:30.919 I know it. Okay, I'm just saying I like that. I like 153 00:10:31.000 --> 00:10:35.240 that shit a lot. I don't know. Everybody is their own things about 154 00:10:35.279 --> 00:10:37.879 what turns them on. I like when niggas breakdance and they sleep. Yeah, 155 00:10:39.039 --> 00:10:43.000 take a load off, babe, But like your mind, ease yourself. 156 00:10:43.600 --> 00:10:48.360 I love this for you. I love this for you. I love 157 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:56.200 it when I can provide certainty, you know what I mean. And to 158 00:10:56.320 --> 00:10:58.480 me, that is a level of certainty like I know you're chilling, you're 159 00:10:58.480 --> 00:11:07.559 fine mmmmmmmm right. And speaking of certainty or uncertainty, y'all know not be 160 00:11:07.600 --> 00:11:09.600 having weird shit happened to me throughout the week and like especially when it's guys, 161 00:11:09.600 --> 00:11:11.879 I'm trying to date run intent. I'm not gonna lie. I feel 162 00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:16.480 like I should just write a book about all the weird as shit that happens 163 00:11:16.480 --> 00:11:20.399 to me while we're dating. Like at this point, I think God just 164 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:22.679 be sending me content, Like Yo, says Hunt, You're gonna kill him 165 00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:28.720 with this one. Like I just feel like at this point, Mommy can't 166 00:11:28.720 --> 00:11:31.840 just be sending me content, right, So, speaking of certainty or uncertainty, 167 00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:37.159 I've been talking off on no one to this guy and we were like 168 00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:43.919 not really a consistent be we haven't really linked up. It's just like a 169 00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:48.600 hey, you know, we're filling each other rout right. So Mommy and 170 00:11:48.720 --> 00:11:52.360 texts me and we're going back and forth and he's like, oh, you 171 00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:56.360 know, so what are you doing today? Before I can't even answer, 172 00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:00.799 he then sends, I don't know why I ask you that I don't got 173 00:12:00.840 --> 00:12:11.039 nothing planned? What what now? I'm trying to put together in my head 174 00:12:11.120 --> 00:12:13.759 what just happened? Right? So he's like, I don't even know why 175 00:12:13.759 --> 00:12:16.679 I asked you that I don't got nothing planning, So before you answer, 176 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:20.879 just know that. And I'm like, well, then what if I really 177 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:22.759 was looking forward to putting on pants, putting on the brawl, making myself 178 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:26.159 looking present on one come outside today, like fuck me, um, fuck 179 00:12:26.200 --> 00:12:30.960 my drag. And it's like, okay. So I didn't say anything at 180 00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:33.320 the time, maybe like a little hi high joke something like that, But 181 00:12:33.360 --> 00:12:35.960 then like a few weeks later, I'm like, bro, what the fuck 182 00:12:35.000 --> 00:12:39.320 is that without you? Because at this point it's giving on the spectrum, 183 00:12:39.559 --> 00:12:43.279 all right, it's giving very much on the spectrum, right, So I'm 184 00:12:43.320 --> 00:12:48.039 like, what is this? He was like, you know, I just 185 00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:52.679 know that if I'm to talk to you or be serious with you, I 186 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:58.440 just have like a certain amount of like intentions behind it. And at the 187 00:12:58.480 --> 00:13:03.720 time I didn't and I'm just not good at this. What what It's like? 188 00:13:03.840 --> 00:13:05.960 Yeah, I'm just not good at this. But if you give me 189 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:11.000 another chance, I'll try again. Now for the record, I'm like, 190 00:13:11.080 --> 00:13:13.240 yo, don't do that at shit again. Not cool. And every since 191 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:16.519 then though, he's like, Yo, this is why I'm playing today. 192 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:18.840 This what I want to do today? Are you feared this day? We 193 00:13:18.879 --> 00:13:20.879 can do this with's your schedule like this week? So I say all that 194 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:24.720 to say, maybe sometimes you just gotta make niggas feel weird a little bit, 195 00:13:24.879 --> 00:13:33.360 and blessings y'all come from it. I don't know. Yeah, but 196 00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:39.960 he was very very very like self conscious when I waited like a few weeks 197 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:41.320 and brought it back up. So I'm like, yeah, that was weird 198 00:13:41.360 --> 00:13:46.240 of shit, don't do that again. And I understood, And I always 199 00:13:46.320 --> 00:13:48.080 want to give people a safe space. But sometimes if you don't tell people 200 00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:52.720 that they're being weird or that's not the appropriate reaction, they don't know. 201 00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:54.960 Because I'm like, it's fine just to have a conversation and ask me, 202 00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:58.399 hey, what are you doing today? How have you been? Like when 203 00:13:58.440 --> 00:14:01.639 you ask me what I'm doing, I'm not automatically going to assume that older 204 00:14:01.720 --> 00:14:07.000 nigga wants to take me out, Like no, like if you're just having 205 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:09.399 conversations, because the way a conversation should go is, hey, you know, 206 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:13.919 how are you doing today? What are you doing today? If I 207 00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:16.399 say nothing, oh, would you mind or would you like, would you 208 00:14:16.399 --> 00:14:20.039 be open to doing X, Y and Z? You know what I mean? 209 00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:22.559 And a lot of times, I'm not gonna say a lot of times 210 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:28.720 he just didn't see that, didn't feel that at all. Well, yeah, 211 00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:33.519 now it's okay because he learned from it, He's made up, he's 212 00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:37.039 learned from that awkward exchange, and like you know, we've gone on a 213 00:14:37.039 --> 00:14:43.399 few dates since then. Not in my notes today, but one thing that 214 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:50.559 I would like to talk about is in the Year of Our Lord twenty twenty 215 00:14:50.559 --> 00:14:56.279 three, how do y'all feel about PDA public displays of affection? In the 216 00:14:56.399 --> 00:15:01.720 Year of Our Lord twenty twenty three, how do you feel about public displays 217 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:07.240 of affection? Right now? Me, personally, I'm very private with who 218 00:15:07.240 --> 00:15:11.360 I date and who I talk to. However, when we are out in 219 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:13.799 the open, I don't mind. If you want to kiss, you want 220 00:15:13.960 --> 00:15:16.360 you want to hug, you want to you know, be up on me, 221 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.799 you want to stud be up on each other, I don't mind. 222 00:15:18.879 --> 00:15:22.279 I'm good with that as long as we're not taking pictures or leaving evidence or 223 00:15:22.320 --> 00:15:26.559 making it like known that we're talking to each other, because I don't want 224 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:31.799 to do that, right, But I'm down for PDA. Right. So 225 00:15:31.840 --> 00:15:33.519 this particular in visual also straight from the jump, it's like, Yo, 226 00:15:33.840 --> 00:15:41.639 I don't like PDA. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. 227 00:15:41.720 --> 00:15:45.679 By the end of the first date, you're trying to suck my face in. 228 00:15:45.840 --> 00:15:48.039 I'm confused. What are we doing here? What are we doing here? 229 00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:52.080 I feel like y'all be saying y'all don't like PDA when y'a don't like 230 00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:54.320 the people y'all with okay, because I feel like, if the person is 231 00:15:54.360 --> 00:15:58.919 attractive enough or you're feeling them enough, whatever you thought you didn't like about 232 00:16:00.039 --> 00:16:03.120 PDA is now out the window, because that's just what it seemed like happened 233 00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:07.679 with this person. Me. I don't mind a little bit of BDA. 234 00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:10.320 I'm cool. What you want to do? Boo. You wanta hold hands? 235 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:12.279 You want to swap spit, you want to grab your butt? Probably 236 00:16:12.320 --> 00:16:15.720 not guys, really don't like that, but like what you want? Like 237 00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:19.480 h you want to pay for whatever we got going on? You want me 238 00:16:19.519 --> 00:16:22.559 to put my hands round of your waist? What you want, baby, 239 00:16:23.159 --> 00:16:26.720 what you want? I can do that for you, Like I'm growing an 240 00:16:26.720 --> 00:16:30.600 adults enough to be like yo, if I'm feeling you, I don't mind 241 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:33.200 PDA. Like Yo, you you want to go bowling when I strike? 242 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:37.440 You want to smack my ass? Let me know like I'm down for a 243 00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:41.240 good time. We can have it. You know what I'm saying. Kenny 244 00:16:41.240 --> 00:16:45.000 B Speak says, we don't like PDA when we're in a spot and there's 245 00:16:45.039 --> 00:16:55.919 some open options in the vicinity. Oh shot said, damn nigga, you 246 00:16:55.960 --> 00:17:00.080 stitch. I agree. Eletri Diva says, I will climb his back if 247 00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:04.319 he asks me. Same cis, I will climb his back if he asks 248 00:17:04.359 --> 00:17:11.359 me the girl. I don't think it depends on a girl. You know 249 00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:15.079 why. I think it's two parts. I think A it depends on a 250 00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:19.039 girl, and then B I think it's is their potential work in the same 251 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:22.359 vicinity, Like, do you think that you have other options in the same 252 00:17:22.400 --> 00:17:26.519 thing even if you with somebody, If you think there's somebody else that's batter 253 00:17:26.599 --> 00:17:30.599 or you have an opportunity with, you might want to try to keep it 254 00:17:30.599 --> 00:17:32.880 on the low because you don't want old girl to think that you really wi 255 00:17:33.000 --> 00:17:36.119 old girl even though you with old girl. I know, I hope that 256 00:17:36.160 --> 00:17:37.599 makes sense. I'll hope y'all caught up with that one. But it's like, 257 00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:41.599 as soon as the date goes to the bathroom, you're probably gonna go 258 00:17:41.599 --> 00:17:45.680 off and try to catch some new work. We're not dumb, but we're 259 00:17:45.720 --> 00:17:49.720 not dumb, and I'm not saying all men or all women. But it's 260 00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:55.319 definitely a possibility. I think so. Kenny b Speak says, or we 261 00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:57.160 don't like PDA. If we ain't really proud to be rocking with you, 262 00:17:57.400 --> 00:18:00.559 there may be a bit of shame there. That's why I said, it 263 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:07.480 depends on a girl. M h M three three Hill says, chill Kenny, 264 00:18:07.759 --> 00:18:15.240 Kenny telling all the secrets time, Kenny spelling tea Today Kenny is the 265 00:18:15.240 --> 00:18:22.000 guy who dies every episode on South part Damn Kenny um daryld a rock star 266 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:26.559 says, PDA is cool if you ain't ugly. M three three Hill says, 267 00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:30.000 some girls don't care. I'm Kelos says, men you can get shot 268 00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:33.440 like that. I just gotta write my number on a napew or something. 269 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.839 Aaron Nash says, women love a guy that gives a girl PDA. I 270 00:18:37.960 --> 00:18:41.640 agree, we really do like that. Like, like I said, I 271 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:47.759 don't want to be in a situation where we're leaving evidence like you know, 272 00:18:48.079 --> 00:18:51.920 you're taking pictures, I mean when I'm not paying attention or like you know, 273 00:18:52.279 --> 00:18:56.759 we're taking pictures in the same background. So now if we post them, 274 00:18:56.759 --> 00:18:59.640 people can put together that we're together. I don't like that. I 275 00:18:59.640 --> 00:19:03.039 don't like that shit at all. However, in the moment, I'm very 276 00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:07.200 much let's hold hands, let's kiss, let's hug, let's bool up, 277 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:14.240 let's cupcake. All that I'm with this shit cupcake is like like being on 278 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:17.240 you, you know what I mean, Like we're vibing, Like, yeah, 279 00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:22.039 we're here together, a bitch, we're here together. Yes, it's 280 00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.720 given very much boot thing like like if we're out, people like, oh 281 00:19:25.759 --> 00:19:27.440 my god, how long you've been together? Like, and that's another thing. 282 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:33.839 If I'm out with you, like once we've passed like a we like 283 00:19:33.960 --> 00:19:36.599 each other. And when I like each other, I'm not gonna lie maybe 284 00:19:36.599 --> 00:19:41.039 even date two when we're out in public, like yeah, being like you 285 00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:45.880 my man and my men, Thank you to my men. Like I'm not 286 00:19:45.960 --> 00:19:48.279 that girl who has to wait till like date seven and be all on You're 287 00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:51.279 like, if we're vibing and we like each other, why the fuck night? 288 00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:52.920 Why you can't kiss me while we're eating the line to get our bowling 289 00:19:52.960 --> 00:19:56.440 shoes? Why not? Okay? If we like each other, what's up? 290 00:19:56.799 --> 00:20:00.880 I don't mean y'all still going through that awkward phase of like, oh 291 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:03.920 you go first, no first, I don't I don't mean that. Like 292 00:20:03.960 --> 00:20:10.319 some people you just click with instinctively and when you do, baby on you, 293 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:15.200 on you White Rice, Okay, I'm on you like I'm not waiting 294 00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:19.440 until date five or date seven and be like, oh, let's let's make 295 00:20:19.519 --> 00:20:22.880 me hold hands? Like no, if we're filling each other and you can 296 00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:26.960 feel, it's like a mutual thing when you're feeling each other. Boy, 297 00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:29.440 if you're coming to pick me up, you better put that right here on 298 00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:33.799 my thigh because if you don't, Now I got a problem. Now I 299 00:20:33.839 --> 00:20:37.400 got a problem. I want. I want to be on you. I 300 00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:40.160 want to be in your ball sex so I can ride around with you all 301 00:20:40.240 --> 00:20:45.960 day. I want to be in yours. Date two, this date two 302 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.400 you're talking about, do you think that he would be thinking about that on 303 00:20:48.480 --> 00:20:51.240 day two? It's not about him, it's about me. Shot. See 304 00:20:51.240 --> 00:20:59.160 that's the problem because you don't understand what the you're talking about. But hey, 305 00:20:59.240 --> 00:21:03.240 I dress Shot said, that's probably why I'm still a single. But 306 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.519 I don't care. I don't care if I like you. If I like 307 00:21:07.599 --> 00:21:11.960 you, I can't be on you. Yeah, But like, don't you 308 00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.400 think that he should know? But by day two that he's your man. 309 00:21:17.039 --> 00:21:19.599 No, no, he's not my man. No in my mind. Yeah, 310 00:21:19.640 --> 00:21:22.319 but he should know that. No, no, no, he's not 311 00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:23.880 my man in my mind either. I just want to boolove like he my 312 00:21:23.920 --> 00:21:26.559 man. Yeah, but you should know that. But I want us still 313 00:21:26.559 --> 00:21:32.000 to be single, like he's not my man. That's a lot that Okay, 314 00:21:34.480 --> 00:21:37.400 let me tell you, let me tell you. Okay, by day 315 00:21:37.400 --> 00:21:41.960 two, right, I want to if by day two, if we're really 316 00:21:41.960 --> 00:21:45.279 filling each other, I want to boulove like you're my man, but I 317 00:21:45.319 --> 00:21:48.359 fully understand you're not my man. So like, yeah, if I'm walking 318 00:21:48.359 --> 00:21:52.559 by, you want to smack my butt? Yeah, Like if I'm you 319 00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:55.119 know, at the register, you won't get me a kiss. Yeah, 320 00:21:55.160 --> 00:21:56.960 if like you know, I'm going to the bathroom of something, you're gonna 321 00:21:57.000 --> 00:22:00.599 hold my purse get Like I want to boo love like you're my man, 322 00:22:00.680 --> 00:22:03.599 but I fully understand it you're not my man. Is that weird? I 323 00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:11.640 mean whatever, I've never had I've never had an insurrection where like someone is 324 00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:15.680 like, oh, are you doing a lot of much Like I understand that 325 00:22:15.720 --> 00:22:19.079 there are levels to it, and I understand the social awkwardness that comes when 326 00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:22.960 it's not reciprocated, if that makes sense. So I'm not gonna try to 327 00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:26.119 be all on you and you give me a chill bitch, and I'm not 328 00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:29.759 picking up like no, no, no, I understand socials very well. 329 00:22:30.599 --> 00:22:34.920 Yeah yeah, like that only happens if we're clicking, like if we're vibing 330 00:22:36.039 --> 00:22:40.440 like whatever. I don't care. If I like you, let me like 331 00:22:40.519 --> 00:22:47.640 you a little bitch, God damn crazy. But hope yea, I'm sorry 332 00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:51.279 man. If I like you let me like you little nigga, God damn 333 00:22:52.039 --> 00:23:00.319 god, damn uh And for three Hill says I'm with it. Kenny b 334 00:23:00.440 --> 00:23:03.119 Speak says not weird, but you gotta be willing to keep it g when 335 00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:04.680 the data is over and it's time form to move around like a single man. 336 00:23:06.160 --> 00:23:08.759 That's what I said. Like in my mind, I fully understand that 337 00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:12.400 we're both single. When I'm all up on you, that's just where in 338 00:23:12.440 --> 00:23:15.240 the moment. Once the date is over and we go our separate ways. 339 00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:18.680 Baby, if you don't text me in the next few days or we don't 340 00:23:18.680 --> 00:23:19.839 talk or whatever the case may be, the next day is not for a 341 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:23.559 week or two later. I understand that I just want to be intimate in 342 00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:26.920 a moment, I think I'm just craving intimacy right now. Is that crazy? 343 00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:30.200 Is that crazy? I don't know, but I fully understand it. 344 00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:36.759 We're both still single. I just want, yeah, is this right? 345 00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:38.720 Not that, Oh my god, that's crazy, Not this smart? Just 346 00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:42.119 like a this that sounded really good in the make? Oh my god, 347 00:23:42.200 --> 00:23:52.160 not a belly bumping thing, just like a intimate thing. Was that being 348 00:23:52.200 --> 00:23:55.880 said, We're gonna head on over to a quick break. Second, let's 349 00:23:55.880 --> 00:24:00.440 go. So someone asked me towards the end of the last Make. They 350 00:24:00.440 --> 00:24:02.799 were like, Yo, you know you feel that way, but would you 351 00:24:02.799 --> 00:24:06.839 be okay if you saw him out with somebody the next day? Absolutely? 352 00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:10.440 Like I would be fine if I saw him with someone different the next day, 353 00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:12.279 because I understand that he's not my man like. I don't care how 354 00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:18.240 much we Booe love Cupcake play it cool when we're together, if we haven't 355 00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:21.240 reached that point where we've had to talk about being monoguments or that we want 356 00:24:21.240 --> 00:24:23.759 to do something exclusive, I understand you're not my man like. And if 357 00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:29.799 we're only on date two, my feelings ain't that invested that I'm heartbroken that 358 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:32.359 I've seen with somebody else Now, don't get me wrong, if we're like 359 00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:37.400 on muff three or four and we've been kicking it on a regular I'm gonna 360 00:24:37.400 --> 00:24:40.640 be a little tight, but I'm gonna be understanding. And I think that 361 00:24:40.640 --> 00:24:45.640 that's a big part of dating now, Like eventually people catch feelings and eventually 362 00:24:45.720 --> 00:24:49.039 and sometimes the feelings are caught before conversations have the opportunity to be had. 363 00:24:49.640 --> 00:24:55.240 It's just a matter of being emotionally intelligent enough to check yourself and realize, 364 00:24:55.319 --> 00:24:57.400 yes, this is something that may hurt me, but I do understand that 365 00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:00.359 that person was completely within their right to do such a thing. You know 366 00:25:00.400 --> 00:25:04.400 what I mean? Do you think that because I'm gonna rephrase my question. 367 00:25:04.559 --> 00:25:10.200 Hear. Okay, So when you're vibing with somebody and things are hitting, 368 00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:12.319 Because when you vibe with somebody and it's right, it hit, it hitting 369 00:25:12.359 --> 00:25:18.599 different they they do hit. So when it hit at a certain point in 370 00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.480 time, I feel like when you're in a relationship with somebody and you're actually 371 00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:25.119 taking serious and you're intentional about what you're doing, you're both going to feel 372 00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:27.519 time when you're not going to want to really talk to nobody else. Like 373 00:25:27.640 --> 00:25:30.680 me, one of my things was this year. It is like I put 374 00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:33.960 my age in everybody's back, Like I don't date multiple girls out did want 375 00:25:33.960 --> 00:25:37.880 you stay one at a time because less expensive. I'm not mad at attention, 376 00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:41.279 like I don't have time to I can't pay attention to all that like 377 00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:45.240 one time undervide attention right, But at one time I'd be like okay, 378 00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:49.200 Well now I'm like okay, well I can date multiple girls. But is 379 00:25:49.200 --> 00:25:52.680 it like a feeling when it hit or is it like okay, well after 380 00:25:52.799 --> 00:25:56.279 date? So so you should just know that this is no no. I 381 00:25:56.319 --> 00:26:03.279 don't care if you've been on I don't care if you've been on fifteen dates. 382 00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:07.160 If you're not mature and honest enough to say to a person like yo, 383 00:26:07.319 --> 00:26:10.359 I like where this is going. I would like it if we just 384 00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:14.160 chilled or hung out together, if we had the opportunity to experience each other 385 00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:18.480 monogamously. If you don't tell that person that, I don't care how often 386 00:26:18.519 --> 00:26:22.640 they're at your house. I don't care how many dates you've been on. 387 00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:26.119 I don't care what y'all and said to each other while y'all were fucking, 388 00:26:26.279 --> 00:26:29.119 because sometimes you be lying and saying you're gonna give them stuff that you're really 389 00:26:29.160 --> 00:26:30.839 not going to give them. Oh my god, I'm gonna give your baby. 390 00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:33.799 Oh my god, I want to buy you a go art. You're 391 00:26:33.839 --> 00:26:37.720 saying shit, right, I don't care about none of that. If y'all 392 00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:41.759 aren't mature and adult enough to have a conversation like, Yo, I'm feeling 393 00:26:41.799 --> 00:26:44.319 you, I don't know if you're feeling the same way. I just wanted 394 00:26:44.319 --> 00:26:45.680 to keep the line of communication open. It's like, yo, what we're 395 00:26:45.680 --> 00:26:51.079 doing. And I feel like because this generation doesn't do that, that's why 396 00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:53.960 everybody out here getting they feelings hurt. Like do you know how easy it 397 00:26:55.000 --> 00:26:57.519 is to just communicate what you're feeling? And if you're not in a space 398 00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:00.440 where you feel like you can tell that to your partner without them trying to 399 00:27:00.480 --> 00:27:03.720 play the shit out you, it's not a safe space, sweetie. You 400 00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:07.400 don't need to be here, you don't need to be there. That's not 401 00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:11.079 a good spot for you. And all the extra things that you're feeling like 402 00:27:11.119 --> 00:27:15.160 you want to do there, don't do it. It's not worth it. 403 00:27:15.279 --> 00:27:19.880 Like communication avoids so many issues, and I feel like whenever we had these 404 00:27:19.880 --> 00:27:26.240 conversations about dating and how the poolish trash, she has pissed in it, 405 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:27.480 has shifted in it, and blah blah blah blah blah. No, we 406 00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:30.880 just got a bunch of niggas in there who don't know how to communicate. 407 00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:34.559 That's it, and that's all. So many issues could be resolved, absolved, 408 00:27:34.759 --> 00:27:41.079 avoided if we just took the time to communicate. Yes, when I 409 00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:45.720 say niggas, it is gender neutral, it is race neutral, it is 410 00:27:45.799 --> 00:27:53.640 alien neutral. It's for everybody. Yeah. Um. The long, Dan 411 00:27:53.680 --> 00:27:57.000 Glow says. The long and short is it's the woman's job to show that 412 00:27:57.039 --> 00:28:00.839 she's wife material. It's a man's job to prove that he's qualified to be 413 00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:06.920 submitted to alfense says, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of 414 00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:11.319 game is that, Kelly Kapoor? First of all, it's the offer's reference 415 00:28:11.359 --> 00:28:17.799 for me. Two points for you, okay. Full throttle yr says if 416 00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:19.680 I've seen her out with another man, I'll just play my part and know 417 00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:26.319 she belongs to the streets. That's so fucking damaging, right, I hate 418 00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:32.079 that for you. Oh my god, sets my soul on fire, because 419 00:28:32.119 --> 00:28:34.559 I guarantee you did not take the time to sit down with that woman and 420 00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:38.720 do everything I just said, say yo, I'm feeling you, like I 421 00:28:38.839 --> 00:28:41.880 want us to be an us thing. If you don't tell that woman that 422 00:28:41.960 --> 00:28:45.559 you wanted to be an us thing, why are you expecting it to be 423 00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:48.720 a just you two thing. It's very misogynist stick of you, like you 424 00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:52.960 are so entitled that you think just because you're feeling her, she's supposed to 425 00:28:53.000 --> 00:28:56.920 know you're feeling her and then only deal with you. Like if she's now 426 00:28:57.000 --> 00:29:02.359 going on eight dates with you, she now texts you every day, and 427 00:29:02.960 --> 00:29:04.880 other than the time that y'all spend together, you have been going out your 428 00:29:04.880 --> 00:29:07.359 way to be like, yo, I'm feeling you. I level week are 429 00:29:07.400 --> 00:29:14.279 going on? What certainty have you provided her? None? It's just like, 430 00:29:14.319 --> 00:29:17.440 oh well just because you hear you know, no, she don't know. 431 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:23.160 Okay, Like for all the men who have that mindset of she should 432 00:29:23.240 --> 00:29:30.880 just know. You should just go respectfully because it takes two seconds to let 433 00:29:30.920 --> 00:29:33.119 someone know how you're feeling, so y'all gonna be on the same page. 434 00:29:33.400 --> 00:29:36.000 And I just think that a lot of times, especially right now be where 435 00:29:36.119 --> 00:29:38.720 dating is, it's not there. All you have to do is telling me 436 00:29:38.759 --> 00:29:44.039 you're feeling me. Because whatever I may think in my mind, it's just 437 00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:48.119 that what I think in my mind, I don't have no tangible like experience 438 00:29:48.160 --> 00:29:52.160 for it. I don't have no tangible evidence for it. All you have 439 00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:56.319 communication is so fucking key, and it's just a lost art out here. 440 00:29:56.559 --> 00:30:00.720 Communication the lost art, that's the name of the communication of law start. 441 00:30:06.119 --> 00:30:14.240 So I feel like now everybody is looking for love, right, and this 442 00:30:14.319 --> 00:30:21.960 whole this whole idea of oh, the dating pool is trash. The dating 443 00:30:22.000 --> 00:30:23.880 pool has pissed in it, the dating pool has shit in it. Right, 444 00:30:25.200 --> 00:30:26.880 This is common knowledge. We all know this. But I feel like 445 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:30.799 another thing that we don't talk about is we're not taking a time to look 446 00:30:30.839 --> 00:30:41.039 inward and realize that we're contributing to the trash a and we are blatantly ignoring 447 00:30:41.319 --> 00:30:44.240 the red flags within ourselves. Hold on, I know a lot of y'all 448 00:30:44.279 --> 00:30:45.519 gonna be mad at that. I know, I know, I know you're 449 00:30:45.559 --> 00:30:48.759 not the problem, right, It just was the last fifty people you didn't 450 00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:52.599 tried to talk to there was the problem. I know that. I know 451 00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:56.839 that. Bear with me, Come on this journey with me real quick, 452 00:30:56.839 --> 00:30:59.559 because I want to talk to you about a few things. Okay, so 453 00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:07.400 I just feel like sometimes we blatantly overlook the mistakes that we're making within ourselves 454 00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:11.880 and then trying to blame it on the dating pool. And I just wanted 455 00:31:11.880 --> 00:31:15.920 to give y'all five things to look out for while you're looking for your cinnamon 456 00:31:15.960 --> 00:31:21.480 apple. That's right, that's right. Five things to look out for when 457 00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:29.720 you're looking for your cinnamon apple. Yes, yes, you know what you 458 00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.559 say. Come on, five things to look out for when you're looking for 459 00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:38.079 your cinnamon apple. Okay, So if someone says you know why, I 460 00:31:38.119 --> 00:31:41.359 take that back. Four things to look out for when you're looking for your 461 00:31:41.359 --> 00:31:47.000 cinnamon apple. Right. If someone says one of these four phrases, run 462 00:31:47.319 --> 00:31:48.960 okay. I don't care if you're a male or if you're a female. 463 00:31:49.240 --> 00:31:55.119 If someone says one of these four phrases, run all right the first one, 464 00:31:56.599 --> 00:32:01.720 every girl out every dating was crazy or every boy I ever dated was 465 00:32:01.799 --> 00:32:09.880 crazy. You don't find that suspicious. You don't find that suspicious. You 466 00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:15.960 don't find that suspicious. If someone tells you every person I ever dated was 467 00:32:15.039 --> 00:32:22.680 crazy? What so you mean to tell me out of the last fifty people 468 00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:24.680 that you talked to, all of them was crazy, but none of them 469 00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:30.079 was in a mental asylum until they met you. Make it makes sense, 470 00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:37.039 Make it makes sense. At some point you have to take it. If 471 00:32:37.079 --> 00:32:40.000 the person you're talking to says, every person I ever dated was crazy, 472 00:32:40.680 --> 00:32:45.119 you don't find that suspicious. You mean to tell me the last fifty people 473 00:32:45.160 --> 00:32:49.519 that you talked to was crazy, but they didn't belong in a mental asylum 474 00:32:49.559 --> 00:32:53.480 until they met you, Like, you don't find that suspicious, And you 475 00:32:53.559 --> 00:32:59.759 sure about that, You sure about that, you sure around that, Like, 476 00:33:00.319 --> 00:33:04.880 at some point we have to take accountability and accept the fact that I'm 477 00:33:04.960 --> 00:33:10.480 contributing to the rising number of mental patients in my city. Like, it's 478 00:33:10.519 --> 00:33:15.440 not that hard. It's not that hard. Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's 479 00:33:15.480 --> 00:33:22.160 you, all right, next one. I normally don't date girls like you, 480 00:33:23.960 --> 00:33:28.640 and you won't start now because what the fuck? Okay, here's my 481 00:33:28.720 --> 00:33:31.440 whole thing. Right, It's fine to broaden your horizons and try new things. 482 00:33:31.839 --> 00:33:36.480 But the fact that you have to audibly tell me lets me know. 483 00:33:36.680 --> 00:33:42.319 A, you're either fulfilling some type of fetish, fetishment, fetishizing, you're 484 00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:45.880 fetishizing me. You're fulfilling some type of fetish that you felt like you have 485 00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:52.319 the opportunity to succeed in and there's no longevity here or be you're just throwing 486 00:33:52.319 --> 00:33:54.960 shit at the wall and trying to see what sticks. I'm not gonna stick. 487 00:33:55.240 --> 00:33:59.319 Okay, Like, what have you done that makes you feel like you 488 00:33:59.319 --> 00:34:02.400 need to cross over into this boundary? All right? Because you're just saying 489 00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:06.920 I like your tities. It ain't enough, it ain't enough, right, 490 00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:12.840 So the next one, But nah, I made my titties jump for shot 491 00:34:12.880 --> 00:34:15.679 earlier and now he won't let me live it down. Y'all, I've been 492 00:34:15.719 --> 00:34:21.079 in a gym. Okay, thank you. So the next thing, Four 493 00:34:21.159 --> 00:34:23.519 things you should look out for if you're trying to find your sentiment Apple. 494 00:34:24.119 --> 00:34:31.440 The third thing, I'm a bad communicator. You sure about that? Okay? 495 00:34:31.519 --> 00:34:36.960 If the person you're trying to take seriously says I'm a bad communicator, 496 00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:42.719 author really trying to do is set you up to be text whenever they feel 497 00:34:42.760 --> 00:34:45.719 like texting you back, to respond to your phone calls whenever they feel like 498 00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:50.880 calling you back. All they're doing is setting you up to know, Hey, 499 00:34:51.239 --> 00:34:53.239 I'm getting touch with you when I feel like it, and you can't 500 00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:58.639 have a problem because I'm letting you know beforehand. I'm a bad communicator, 501 00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:07.159 corny by Okay, I'm just saying, if someone tells you from the jump, 502 00:35:08.039 --> 00:35:13.920 I'm a bad communicator, all they're doing is setting you up for many 503 00:35:14.039 --> 00:35:20.239 nights of unresponded texts, unanswered phone calls, unresponded FaceTime calls. All they're 504 00:35:20.280 --> 00:35:22.559 doing is giving you the green light to know I'm going to get to you 505 00:35:22.599 --> 00:35:28.239 when I want to. Right. The last thing, I feel like four 506 00:35:28.360 --> 00:35:30.760 things you need to look out for when you're looking for your sentiment apple, 507 00:35:31.039 --> 00:35:37.159 Right, last thing, and this one really grinds my fucking years. The 508 00:35:37.239 --> 00:35:45.239 last thing. I don't believe in labels. I don't believe in labels. 509 00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:51.639 What's under stool don't need to be explained, whatsunder stool do need to be 510 00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:55.960 explained. I don't believe in in labels. Boy fuck you? Okay. 511 00:35:57.400 --> 00:36:00.599 And my old thing is when someone says I don't believe in labels, but 512 00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:06.320 you know you do. Don't just go along with that, because all you're 513 00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:15.519 gonna do is continuously access man what we do in And all he's gonna respond 514 00:36:15.519 --> 00:36:19.360 with is I tell you don't believe in labels. You can rock with a 515 00:36:19.400 --> 00:36:22.239 person who says I don't believe in labels, and all you're gonna do is 516 00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:27.159 end up in his obituary as his special friend. Now you don't even get 517 00:36:27.159 --> 00:36:31.320 insurance benefits. Look at you. Look at you, not insurance, Look 518 00:36:31.360 --> 00:36:37.440 at you. This is the life you chose when you the Caraball's insurance. 519 00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:49.760 I'm serious though, all I'm I'm serious though. You can rock with somebody 520 00:36:49.800 --> 00:36:53.320 who says I don't believe in labels and end up in his obituary as his 521 00:36:53.480 --> 00:36:58.079 special friend if you want to. But nine times out of ten, you're 522 00:36:58.119 --> 00:37:00.199 gonna deal with your family asking you will when are y'all gonna get married? 523 00:37:00.239 --> 00:37:04.000 When you're gonna have some kids, but they're gonna make it official. Where 524 00:37:04.000 --> 00:37:06.760 are your friend at? It's the holidays? What you got going on? 525 00:37:07.079 --> 00:37:10.800 And you're gonna be sitting or dumb? Oh it's been three years, bitch, 526 00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:15.960 it's been three years. What are we doing? And I'm not here 527 00:37:15.960 --> 00:37:17.840 to tell you what to do. I'm not here to prush you. If 528 00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:22.239 you are fine and content with the way things are going, ignore everything I 529 00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:25.800 just said. Ignore everything I just said. But if you know for a 530 00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:30.079 fact you want to be in a relationship, you want to be married, 531 00:37:30.360 --> 00:37:34.679 you want to find your actual cinnamon apple and not just somebody you can netflix 532 00:37:34.719 --> 00:37:37.079 and chill with on a regular I feel like these are things that you need 533 00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:43.639 to address for sure, for sure. Full throttled Uyr says, Nah, 534 00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:46.960 she trying to take us men benefits. Don't get married, Johnny. Nobody's 535 00:37:46.960 --> 00:37:54.039 getting married to you anyway, so shut up. I don't know Johnny apology. 536 00:37:54.800 --> 00:37:58.320 I've known Johnny since I was sixteen. I know for a fact he 537 00:37:58.360 --> 00:38:00.920 does not want to get married, So I don't owe him a following, 538 00:38:01.039 --> 00:38:05.920 not that one. Maybe somebody else in here. Yeah, Aaron Nash says, 539 00:38:05.960 --> 00:38:08.280 a man that really wants you will put the clamps slash label on you. 540 00:38:08.599 --> 00:38:13.960 I agree with that. I agree with that, and it helps me 541 00:38:14.079 --> 00:38:19.239 transition into my next point. And before y'all we keep going. Seven the 542 00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:21.400 dog. He came back in the room, y'all. So if y'all her 543 00:38:21.440 --> 00:38:22.719 painting, it's not me. I'm not a fat bitch. It's really just 544 00:38:22.840 --> 00:38:28.079 seven any biggest shit. So and if y'all watched an episode of me here 545 00:38:28.199 --> 00:38:30.519 at Studio seven before y'all know, he biggest shit? Hi, baby, 546 00:38:30.519 --> 00:38:34.400 come on you coming up here? Shall high to the people. Hi, 547 00:38:35.440 --> 00:38:37.159 No, you just want to Well, you can't sit right here. Seven, 548 00:38:37.159 --> 00:38:42.360 you gotta move over. You got okay to hold on one second, 549 00:38:42.440 --> 00:38:49.199 y'all. Seven, you gotta get back where his collar a Come on, 550 00:38:49.280 --> 00:38:54.280 baby, get back, get back? What? Well, honestly, he's 551 00:38:54.320 --> 00:39:00.519 never going under the desk before, baby, Hi, yeah, come on 552 00:39:00.639 --> 00:39:06.199 baby, Okay. So another thing is, Ladies, I don't even I 553 00:39:06.239 --> 00:39:09.039 don't know who he needs to hear this, right, because it's a message 554 00:39:09.039 --> 00:39:14.119 that I've really been heavy on my soul because I've been hearing so many women 555 00:39:14.199 --> 00:39:19.079 complain about it. But ladies, I don't know who needs to hear this. 556 00:39:20.480 --> 00:39:24.440 But that man isn't taking you out on a date because you already gave 557 00:39:24.519 --> 00:39:32.400 him some coochie. I know, I know, I know. And it's 558 00:39:32.400 --> 00:39:37.320 not just that, right, he's not taking you out on a date because 559 00:39:37.320 --> 00:39:43.159 you already gave him some coochie and you're still responding to his text to his 560 00:39:43.320 --> 00:39:46.400 calls, to his spacetimes, and still giving him the opportunity to get more 561 00:39:46.440 --> 00:39:52.440 coucchi. He's not going to respectfully, respectfully like, I don't care how 562 00:39:52.440 --> 00:39:57.239 many times you bring it up to him. I don't care how many times 563 00:39:57.599 --> 00:40:00.199 you say you're done but you just want to get your closure and move on. 564 00:40:00.320 --> 00:40:02.599 No, you're not. You end up giving them some ore couchie and 565 00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:07.880 he's still not gonna take you on a date. There is no special set 566 00:40:07.360 --> 00:40:14.559 of rules, regulations, or code for a man to do the things that 567 00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:17.039 a husband does, whether it be take you out on a date, show 568 00:40:17.079 --> 00:40:22.360 you you're appreciated, or siprocate your time and energy. No, none of 569 00:40:22.400 --> 00:40:27.239 that. None of that is necessary. If he likes you, if he 570 00:40:27.320 --> 00:40:32.400 wants you, if you set the standard of this is what's required to get 571 00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:37.559 the box, this is what's required to get my time. When you continue 572 00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:43.719 to deal with these men who aren't doing anything for you that aligns with your 573 00:40:43.800 --> 00:40:46.280 standards, your goals, your dreams, they're gonna keep dealing it, and 574 00:40:46.480 --> 00:40:52.079 honestly, I support it. I support it. If you're dumb enough to 575 00:40:52.199 --> 00:40:55.920 keep giving them coochie, keep giving them your time, your energy, text 576 00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:04.119 call spacetimes. That's on you. I don't I don't know. Y'all can 577 00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.280 kick me out the group chat, y'all can take my woman's card away. 578 00:41:07.480 --> 00:41:09.199 Okay, it's gonna be pretty hard because I got the stretch marks to prove 579 00:41:09.239 --> 00:41:19.199 it. But what I'm saying is okay. What I want to say is, 580 00:41:19.519 --> 00:41:22.519 if you're dealing with a man and he's not taking you out on dates, 581 00:41:23.159 --> 00:41:29.119 but you are still giving him the same level access to you as someone 582 00:41:29.159 --> 00:41:32.000 who is he's never gonna take you out on a date. It doesn't matter 583 00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:36.760 how much you complain, how much you harass, how much you bring him 584 00:41:36.800 --> 00:41:39.519 out, because you know why, a man who really wants you and a 585 00:41:39.559 --> 00:41:44.039 man who really chooses you, you're probably not even gonna have to have that 586 00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:47.639 conversation with. And if you do, once you bring it up, oh 587 00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:51.920 hes gonna fix it, baby, he gonna fix it. He gonna fix 588 00:41:51.960 --> 00:41:54.320 it. And if he's not, it's because he doesn't want to and you're 589 00:41:54.360 --> 00:41:58.119 not making him. And I know when I say you're not making him, 590 00:41:58.159 --> 00:42:00.760 it sounds like, oh, you're trying to be the she's trying to be 591 00:42:00.800 --> 00:42:04.599 masculine. No, I'm just saying you would have to set your standards for 592 00:42:04.719 --> 00:42:08.639 what you require for you and if someone is a meeting that, stop giving 593 00:42:08.679 --> 00:42:12.280 them access to you. So just coming back. So, so if a 594 00:42:12.400 --> 00:42:19.320 dude is exhibiting that behavior and you guys am dating and you go to your 595 00:42:19.320 --> 00:42:22.000 girlfriend and complaining and then you address it. He can come back from that 596 00:42:22.719 --> 00:42:30.400 if you have an honest conversation with your partners, say, yo, I 597 00:42:30.440 --> 00:42:34.320 feel like we're moving into a different space where we should be going on dates 598 00:42:34.360 --> 00:42:37.199 more, or you know, I genuinely want to go on more dates. 599 00:42:38.320 --> 00:42:43.400 If he does not fix it, you do not give him the same level 600 00:42:43.440 --> 00:42:46.480 of access to you. Like there are women who complain like, oh, 601 00:42:46.519 --> 00:42:50.920 he just won't take me on a date, and he's not going to wonder 602 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:55.519 why because you're still sucking his deck, because you're still giving coucie. Okay, 603 00:42:55.719 --> 00:43:00.519 he's not going to because why would he Why would he go out his 604 00:43:00.599 --> 00:43:05.679 way to do something that isn't required. Why would he go out his way 605 00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:09.360 to do something that isn't required. Why would he go out his way to 606 00:43:09.440 --> 00:43:14.880 do something that isn't required if he isn't even that into you, Because if 607 00:43:14.920 --> 00:43:16.880 he was, he would do it, you know what I'm saying. So 608 00:43:17.079 --> 00:43:22.119 the Blue Professor says, women will never make you her boyfriend when she can 609 00:43:22.159 --> 00:43:25.800 get boyfriend benefits while you in the friend zone. Daryl the rock Star says, 610 00:43:25.880 --> 00:43:29.519 she's right, we just don't like you. We'll sleep with you, 611 00:43:29.559 --> 00:43:35.320 but we don't like you, and That's another thing. Men will take the 612 00:43:35.519 --> 00:43:39.719 nastiest of sex with you and never what to be with you. Men don't 613 00:43:39.760 --> 00:43:44.400 have to want to be with you to have sex with you. So when 614 00:43:44.400 --> 00:43:46.960 you have this mindset of well, he wouldn't be eating my ass from a 615 00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:51.199 bank like that? If yes, he would sure about that? Yes? 616 00:43:52.159 --> 00:43:55.960 Yes hee what? Yes he what? He will still suck your toes okay. 617 00:43:57.159 --> 00:44:00.159 He will still lick you from the router to the tutor. Okay. 618 00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:05.760 He will still treat you like a porn star. And if you are not 619 00:44:05.880 --> 00:44:08.320 requiring him to also treat you like a princess, you won't get it. 620 00:44:08.840 --> 00:44:14.400 If you don't set that standard up. I require dates, I require time, 621 00:44:14.519 --> 00:44:17.119 I require you to reach out. I require reciprocity. You're not going 622 00:44:17.159 --> 00:44:23.000 to get it. Recpcity. You know what crazy? You know what's crazy? 623 00:44:23.320 --> 00:44:27.880 Um? Lauren Hill? What song is that? The X factor? 624 00:44:28.280 --> 00:44:35.039 She's like, UM, damn it somepricity long stir Sure. I didn't know 625 00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:37.320 that the word. I didn't know the word was reciprocity. I thought she 626 00:44:37.440 --> 00:44:44.599 was saying um and probably get some rest and probably t I literally just learned 627 00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:50.559 that the word is reciprocity, and that lyric I literally just learned that that 628 00:44:50.760 --> 00:44:54.679 was the lyrics, like not too long ago. So yeah, there's that. 629 00:44:55.480 --> 00:45:00.599 Um yeah. So if that being said, let's go on over to 630 00:45:00.639 --> 00:45:06.639 segment three, and so we were talking about red flags and things within ourselves 631 00:45:06.719 --> 00:45:08.760 that we get fixed. Right. So on the flip side of that, 632 00:45:08.880 --> 00:45:13.800 I wanted to talk about breaking up because breaking up is hard to do. 633 00:45:14.559 --> 00:45:17.400 Breaking up is really hard to do when you don't want to break up, 634 00:45:17.800 --> 00:45:22.679 Okay, So I just want to give a little bit of advice to the 635 00:45:22.800 --> 00:45:25.559 women, especially for when you break up and you still want your men. 636 00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:30.400 Now, for the record, if you don't want your man, none of 637 00:45:30.440 --> 00:45:31.280 this is going to apply to you. It don't matter. Do what the 638 00:45:31.280 --> 00:45:35.239 fuck you want to do, sis right, But if you break up with 639 00:45:35.320 --> 00:45:38.559 your men and still want your men, I feel like there are things that 640 00:45:38.639 --> 00:45:45.159 you can and shouldn't do just to make sure that happens. Right. So 641 00:45:45.280 --> 00:45:49.400 I just want to say, when you break up with your boyfriend, please 642 00:45:49.440 --> 00:45:53.840 do not get on the internet posting a bunch of selfies, especially half naked 643 00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:59.679 selfies. Okay, when you break up with your boyfriend, do not get 644 00:45:59.679 --> 00:46:04.239 on it internet and flood the timeline with a bunch of your selfis full body 645 00:46:04.280 --> 00:46:07.360 picks. It don't matter if the thing is thanking, if that's not what 646 00:46:07.400 --> 00:46:13.880 you were doing before y'all broke up. You don't even realize that you're subconsciously, 647 00:46:14.280 --> 00:46:19.679 subconsciously confirming all the doubts that he had about you when y'all break up 648 00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:22.840 and you jump on the internet posting full body picks with that thang thing, 649 00:46:22.960 --> 00:46:29.559 and you are subconsciously confirming all the doubts that he may have had about you, 650 00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:32.800 especially if y'all break up over some infidelity shit. In his mind, 651 00:46:32.840 --> 00:46:37.880 he like, look, she's still for the streets. She really for the 652 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:43.639 streets, right, if y'all break up because of like some petty stuff about 653 00:46:43.679 --> 00:46:46.559 you and men's faces, look at her. See I knew it. I 654 00:46:46.639 --> 00:46:50.719 knew it, And it doesn't matter if it was sure or not. If 655 00:46:50.760 --> 00:46:54.760 you want your man, I don't think these are things that will help you 656 00:46:54.800 --> 00:47:00.679 get your man back. Right. Another thing, ladies, please, for 657 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:07.119 the love of Forrest Gump, please do not post a bunch of long ass 658 00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:10.760 heartbroken quotes. They're not gonna read it. They're not gonna read it. 659 00:47:12.239 --> 00:47:15.960 They're not gonna read it. Do not break up with your men and post 660 00:47:15.119 --> 00:47:20.559 a bunch of cryptic, long ass quotes. He's not gonna read it sis. 661 00:47:21.039 --> 00:47:23.360 If anything, they're gonna screenshot it and put it in the group chap 662 00:47:23.559 --> 00:47:25.679 like yo, your girl out here wild and he gon be like, no 663 00:47:27.079 --> 00:47:30.960 one girl knew more. Now you look stupid. Now you look stupid. 664 00:47:31.840 --> 00:47:36.960 Listen. Yes, you may really feel this way that's in these quotes. 665 00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:44.039 Yes you may feel like you posting these pictures is reclaiming your empowerment. But 666 00:47:44.199 --> 00:47:49.320 here's the thing. If you weren't posting quotes like that before you broke up, 667 00:47:49.599 --> 00:47:53.159 and you weren't posting pictures like that before you broke up, what are 668 00:47:53.159 --> 00:47:58.199 you exactly reclaiming? Right? And I'm not telling you what to do. 669 00:47:58.199 --> 00:48:00.039 Do what you want and do what makes you feel good, but I don't 670 00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:06.079 want you to disrespect yourself in the process. And sometimes when we break up 671 00:48:06.280 --> 00:48:08.920 we go to the extreme. Now you're wearing things that you never wear. 672 00:48:09.079 --> 00:48:12.920 Now you're doing things that you never do. Now you're posting stuff that you 673 00:48:12.960 --> 00:48:15.119 don't even really like, because in your mind, you're just trying to make 674 00:48:15.199 --> 00:48:19.559 him mad. You're just trying to make him see that all of what he's 675 00:48:19.599 --> 00:48:22.320 missing out on, you're trying to make him see it. All of what 676 00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:25.960 you really got in these niggas really won't be at you. It's not going 677 00:48:27.000 --> 00:48:30.400 to do that respectfully. You can look bad as you want to, you 678 00:48:30.440 --> 00:48:36.360 can post the deepest Miangelar quotes that you want to, it's not going to 679 00:48:36.400 --> 00:48:42.159 do what you think it's going to do, right, And this only applies 680 00:48:42.199 --> 00:48:45.599 to if you weren't doing this before y'all broke up. If you was, 681 00:48:45.880 --> 00:48:50.480 bitch, go ahead, do you right, But if you weren't, cool 682 00:48:50.519 --> 00:48:58.159 it cool it cool it, cool it cool it plains okay, because you're 683 00:48:58.159 --> 00:49:04.480 not doing nothing but embarrassing yourself respect right. So full throttle y R says 684 00:49:04.519 --> 00:49:07.440 fellas. If she don't push you on social media, she is for the 685 00:49:07.480 --> 00:49:12.599 game. Ignore that nigga, please, okay. I told y'all ignore him. 686 00:49:12.639 --> 00:49:19.079 I told you ignored Johnny a long time ago. Don't No, we 687 00:49:19.199 --> 00:49:24.239 don't like Johnny. Okay, please thank you. Aaron Nash seventy three says, 688 00:49:24.360 --> 00:49:31.440 red flag for anyone that airs laundry after a breakup. That's a fact. 689 00:49:31.480 --> 00:49:38.239 That's the Bible scripture. That's the Bible scripture. And ladies, I 690 00:49:38.360 --> 00:49:42.559 love y'all, right, I love y'all I'm here with Shall we locked in? 691 00:49:42.800 --> 00:49:47.039 Right? But here's my problem. When you break up, if you 692 00:49:47.199 --> 00:49:52.199 go on Facebook, Instagram telling everybody about how your man has a little dick, 693 00:49:53.480 --> 00:49:57.280 it wasn't a little for the four years that Shaw was to gather dough. 694 00:49:57.400 --> 00:50:01.559 I'm confused. I'm confused. The dick wasn't never little when y'all was 695 00:50:01.599 --> 00:50:06.280 taking trips out of the country. The dick wasn't never little when y'all was 696 00:50:06.360 --> 00:50:10.239 in matching pajamas every Christmas. But now all of a sudden, because you 697 00:50:10.320 --> 00:50:19.400 broke up, now to dick about four inches how and trash as dirty ass 698 00:50:19.760 --> 00:50:25.119 take care of their kids, dealing with miners like you weren't dealing with this 699 00:50:25.199 --> 00:50:30.079 dirty as. Yes, here's the thing that I don't get. The whole 700 00:50:30.119 --> 00:50:34.519 time you was together, it wasn't he don't take care of his kids, 701 00:50:35.079 --> 00:50:37.920 he own food, steps, he owed such and such two hundred dollars, 702 00:50:38.199 --> 00:50:42.440 he'd be accent and used my car and they'll never fill the gas tank up. 703 00:50:42.599 --> 00:50:45.239 When y'all was together, it was none of that. It was none 704 00:50:45.239 --> 00:50:50.360 of that. But now since Shaw broke up, it's all these problems. 705 00:50:50.400 --> 00:50:53.159 First of all, I don't give a fuck, Okay, and you know 706 00:50:53.199 --> 00:50:55.639 why. I don't give a fuck because you didn't give a fuck while y'all 707 00:50:55.679 --> 00:51:00.360 was together. I don't care. I don't care what you say. It 708 00:51:00.400 --> 00:51:01.920 doesn't matter. It's not going to make me look at this man in a 709 00:51:01.920 --> 00:51:07.079 derogatory manner because for whatever reason, it was good enough for you. If 710 00:51:07.079 --> 00:51:08.239 it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me. I don't want 711 00:51:08.239 --> 00:51:13.440 to hear it. I don't want to hear it. Stop trying to villainize 712 00:51:13.440 --> 00:51:16.400 your relationships just because y'all broke up. Because when y'all was together, it 713 00:51:16.480 --> 00:51:21.559 was fine. I don't care. It's nothing you can tell me. I 714 00:51:21.599 --> 00:51:24.840 don't care how much shrimp cocktail you tell me he got between his legs. 715 00:51:24.880 --> 00:51:30.760 I don't care. I don't care. Apparently butt you like a fish fry 716 00:51:30.800 --> 00:51:36.320 because you was with him for four years, right, Okay, Okay, 717 00:51:36.559 --> 00:51:45.159 that's it, and that's all. Okay, I'm just saying who I was, 718 00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:49.079 Like, I'm trying to aeron Nash seven three said they're gonna come after 719 00:51:49.159 --> 00:51:52.039 you store me. I don't care. I don't care, because you know 720 00:51:52.079 --> 00:51:55.920 what my problem is when you in love, that did grow about three inches, 721 00:51:55.960 --> 00:52:00.639 don't it? Y'all take that back when you in love, that did 722 00:52:00.760 --> 00:52:07.199 grow about four inches when you do, you know what, when you're in 723 00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:13.199 love, that dick grow about four inches. And if you choose to tell 724 00:52:13.280 --> 00:52:17.320 your man and react to your men as if it has grown four inches, 725 00:52:19.599 --> 00:52:21.719 you gotta eat that. I don't know if you want me to say you 726 00:52:21.719 --> 00:52:24.519 gotta eat that, you gotta eat that. I can't be on your side. 727 00:52:24.800 --> 00:52:29.800 I can't support the time foolery. I can't okay, not in good 728 00:52:29.840 --> 00:52:35.599 taste, I cannot all right, Um, So the last thing I want 729 00:52:35.599 --> 00:52:42.519 to get into before we jumped into the edible portion of the show is and 730 00:52:42.599 --> 00:52:49.320 this one is really special to me because this one roll deep in my heart. 731 00:52:49.400 --> 00:52:54.679 Right, Being the strong friend isn't easy, right, It's hard. 732 00:52:55.199 --> 00:53:04.679 It's hard, right, But being the strong friend and struggling and having the 733 00:53:04.760 --> 00:53:12.360 courage to tell other people you are struggling, it's even harder. Right seven 734 00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:16.480 were you talking about baby? Yeah, it's all that shit. But no, 735 00:53:16.639 --> 00:53:22.920 really don't like if the strong friend tells you you are struggling. It's 736 00:53:22.960 --> 00:53:24.840 not because we want you to say, oh, well you're strong, you 737 00:53:24.920 --> 00:53:30.320 got it, You'll make away. And you definitely don't want to say everything 738 00:53:30.360 --> 00:53:32.400 happens for a reason. God will make away. We don't want to hear 739 00:53:32.440 --> 00:53:37.039 that. If you know this is coming from the strong friend and we're having 740 00:53:37.079 --> 00:53:42.280 the courage to tell you that we need help or we're struggling, help me, 741 00:53:43.679 --> 00:53:50.440 nigga, What Canvin Hard say? Help me? Nigga? Roh, 742 00:53:51.599 --> 00:53:57.159 understand that if I'm to a low enough point where I feel it still I 743 00:53:57.199 --> 00:54:00.880 need to reach out to you. It's because I am struggling. Seven What 744 00:54:01.000 --> 00:54:08.199 do you want? My baby came to help me. Hi, Okay, 745 00:54:08.320 --> 00:54:15.079 okay, sick, sit baby sick. Oh it's geese outside, that's what 746 00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:19.239 he was talking about. Okay. Um. But yeah, like, I 747 00:54:19.280 --> 00:54:22.199 don't think people realize, Like, yo, do you know how much it 748 00:54:22.239 --> 00:54:28.320 took for me to humble myself enough to even reach out to you and tell 749 00:54:28.400 --> 00:54:31.079 you I'm struggling? Like, bro, when you turn around and heavy, 750 00:54:31.119 --> 00:54:37.039 what's some? You're strong, You'll make it. You're strong, You'll figure 751 00:54:37.079 --> 00:54:45.280 out a way. Niggas, Like for me to even come to you with 752 00:54:45.320 --> 00:54:51.280 this, you should already know we're down bad Okay, We're in a bad 753 00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:55.519 space. Put the bad signal in the sky because we are struggling, okay, 754 00:54:58.559 --> 00:55:00.400 Or does that mean that not on the team level when you just misread 755 00:55:00.440 --> 00:55:04.239 the situation, Like, what does that mean exactly if I can't go to 756 00:55:04.320 --> 00:55:06.840 one of my friends, Like if I can't come to you like Stormy, 757 00:55:07.400 --> 00:55:10.559 I'm down bad and you hit me with some negative shit, does that necessarily 758 00:55:10.599 --> 00:55:15.440 mean that you are a bad friend? Or maybe you're going through something that 759 00:55:15.480 --> 00:55:20.760 you're not seeing it, because will we tell somebody that isn't on our level? 760 00:55:21.280 --> 00:55:24.880 So but here's the thing, right, if you have friends that turn 761 00:55:24.920 --> 00:55:30.320 around and say to you you okay, you're right, you got it, 762 00:55:30.400 --> 00:55:35.480 big dog, this doesn't automatically mean that they're a bad friend. Right. 763 00:55:36.880 --> 00:55:42.719 I'm very big on accountability, So we have to take some accountability for acknowledging 764 00:55:42.719 --> 00:55:46.199 the fact that we have set up a friendship or a relationship or a courtship, 765 00:55:46.280 --> 00:55:51.559 a situation ship, whatever, to where I have taken on the role 766 00:55:51.760 --> 00:55:55.239 of the strong friend. They have taken on the role as the sound board. 767 00:55:55.480 --> 00:56:00.559 Right, So they're not used to us reaching out saying we want help. 768 00:56:01.280 --> 00:56:05.440 So just because they respond and then you got a big dog, that 769 00:56:05.480 --> 00:56:08.360 doesn't always mean that they're a bad person. They're just falling in line with 770 00:56:10.360 --> 00:56:15.119 the dynamics that we've set up. So while I want to say like, 771 00:56:15.280 --> 00:56:21.679 yeah, help me, nigga, if they respond with you got a big 772 00:56:21.719 --> 00:56:24.880 dog, you'll be cool, I also now have to be humble again and 773 00:56:25.039 --> 00:56:30.400 honest again to say I'm not asking you for reassurance. I'm asking you for 774 00:56:30.519 --> 00:56:35.280 help. And it's hard, especially if you were the strong friend. If 775 00:56:35.320 --> 00:56:38.559 you were the strong friend, this is extremely difficult. But you have to 776 00:56:38.599 --> 00:56:44.239 say, or you have to make it known. I'm not asking for reassurance. 777 00:56:44.519 --> 00:56:50.000 I'm not asking for a soundboard. I'm asking for help. And as 778 00:56:50.039 --> 00:56:52.320 a strong friend, I can tell you it's gonna be hard as fuck. 779 00:56:52.159 --> 00:56:54.559 But if this is what you really want, and this is what you know 780 00:56:54.599 --> 00:56:59.880 will help you reach your goal, you gotta be like you got I know, 781 00:57:00.119 --> 00:57:02.639 I know. But you can't be mad for them for not understanding the 782 00:57:02.760 --> 00:57:07.239 dynamics that we've set up. So we have to give them a chance to 783 00:57:07.280 --> 00:57:12.840 fix what they might not be aware of, you know. Jackson sixteen sixteen 784 00:57:12.880 --> 00:57:15.760 says, gotta be human enough to have your weak moments without being afraid to 785 00:57:15.840 --> 00:57:23.599 acknowledge them. Come on, somebody Jack saying, come on, Jack's hey, 786 00:57:23.679 --> 00:57:27.960 boys, Jack says the man honestly, Jackson we gotta link up soon. 787 00:57:28.480 --> 00:57:31.119 Sir Keithington says, we have to reach out to other strong friends. 788 00:57:31.679 --> 00:57:37.679 It's easy right to say that, but for some of us we are holding 789 00:57:37.719 --> 00:57:42.039 down the strong friend position for our whole core group. Like it's easy to 790 00:57:42.039 --> 00:57:45.280 say we got to reach out to our strong friends for help, but some 791 00:57:45.440 --> 00:57:50.320 of us are really holding down the strong friend position for our whole group, 792 00:57:50.599 --> 00:57:55.920 sometimes maybe even two three groups. So it's a humbling experience. No, 793 00:57:57.119 --> 00:57:59.880 it's just makes us delusional for thinking we can take all this shit on by 794 00:57:59.880 --> 00:58:04.239 our something honestly. Jack sixty sixty says, I think some of the accountability 795 00:58:04.320 --> 00:58:07.400 has to be on the strong friend though. You can't be strong all the 796 00:58:07.440 --> 00:58:09.920 time and then be shocked when people assume you'll just continue to be the strong 797 00:58:09.960 --> 00:58:15.159 and push through. I agree. I agree. You have to be humble 798 00:58:15.280 --> 00:58:19.599 enough to check yourself and them and say, yo, I don't really need 799 00:58:19.639 --> 00:58:23.480 reassurance right now, I really need help. And it's hard. It's hard. 800 00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:27.559 It's so hard, y'all, it's so hard. It's so so, 801 00:58:27.679 --> 00:58:30.920 so so hard. Mike Jones five six one says it means you don't have 802 00:58:31.000 --> 00:58:35.920 emotionally aware of friends, not a bad friend. Just not the friend you 803 00:58:35.920 --> 00:58:39.199 would go to in a time like this. I disagree because most of the 804 00:58:39.239 --> 00:58:44.639 times they're not saying it to be a demeaning or to not be helpful. 805 00:58:44.920 --> 00:58:47.360 Sometimes I really don't know because they're just used to you handling shit. They're 806 00:58:47.360 --> 00:58:52.159 like, all right, cool, you got it. You always got technically 807 00:58:52.039 --> 00:58:59.039 the fault, it would be there. Yeah, exactly right too. TV 808 00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:05.840 says, is it wrong to expect people you've been there got to automatically be 809 00:59:05.880 --> 00:59:09.039 there for you? Is it wrong for people you've been there for to automatically 810 00:59:09.079 --> 00:59:15.159 assume they've been there for you? Yes, it's to me. To me, 811 00:59:15.280 --> 00:59:20.119 I would say yes, only because you know that this person is not 812 00:59:20.280 --> 00:59:25.480 emotionally stable. This person is not financially stable, this person is not mentally 813 00:59:25.519 --> 00:59:29.599 stable, which is why you usually have to be there for them all the 814 00:59:29.639 --> 00:59:32.519 time. So automatically assuming that they're going to be there for you when you've 815 00:59:32.519 --> 00:59:37.519 been consistently watching their world fall apart for the past few years, that's not 816 00:59:37.559 --> 00:59:39.440 fair to them because that's not your dynamic, and that's not the relationship that 817 00:59:39.480 --> 00:59:43.159 you guys have set up. Whether it be friends, whether it be courtship, 818 00:59:43.159 --> 00:59:46.519 whether be situationship, relationship whatever. So I wouldn't automatically assume like, 819 00:59:46.639 --> 00:59:51.039 Yo, I've done this for you X amount of times, I expect you 820 00:59:51.079 --> 00:59:53.800 to do this for me one time, right. I would, however, 821 00:59:53.920 --> 00:59:59.119 say, you can be like yo, I really need you to do this 822 00:59:59.159 --> 01:00:01.679 for me, and if they can't do it, they can't do it. 823 01:00:01.719 --> 01:00:06.880 But it's now on you to figure out how much you want to be involved 824 01:00:06.880 --> 01:00:10.039 in their lives moving forward, because, in the same token, if they 825 01:00:10.079 --> 01:00:15.559 can't do X, Y and Z for one time, are you willing to 826 01:00:15.599 --> 01:00:22.440 take on a mentorship or another fucking child? Essentially, because this is someone 827 01:00:22.480 --> 01:00:25.760 who can't do nothing for you, can you afford another child? That's on 828 01:00:25.840 --> 01:00:32.880 you to decide. Okay, So now I wanted to get into the edible 829 01:00:32.920 --> 01:00:37.079 portion of the chelf, right, So the edible portion of the show is 830 01:00:37.199 --> 01:00:40.960 when we read questions and stuff that you guys sen in. I'm not gonna 831 01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:45.920 lie. I got my ones today from the live because I forgot to put 832 01:00:45.920 --> 01:00:50.280 the promp up today. So there's that right now. If you have a 833 01:00:50.360 --> 01:00:52.079 question that you want to submit to the show, but it is too long 834 01:00:52.119 --> 01:00:57.559 to fit into the prompts, you can DM me at Stormy PPEA at Chocolate 835 01:00:57.639 --> 01:01:04.679 Chimnisship, or you can email me at inquiries at stormyt dot com. So 836 01:01:04.760 --> 01:01:09.000 the first one is eating off each other plate on the first date a red 837 01:01:09.039 --> 01:01:15.960 flag? Yes, okay, and I'm answering this from a greedy bitch perspective, 838 01:01:16.440 --> 01:01:20.679 so excuse me, be patient with me. Right but y'all, I 839 01:01:20.760 --> 01:01:25.360 love food. I love my food. Okay, right now, if we're 840 01:01:25.400 --> 01:01:30.159 on the first date, I don't mind like scooping a fork and giving you 841 01:01:30.239 --> 01:01:36.239 some. But baby, don't you dare trespass with your fork onto my plate 842 01:01:36.280 --> 01:01:40.159 without saying anything. We're not there yet, boundaries, We're not there yet. 843 01:01:40.320 --> 01:01:43.960 Don't you do that? Don't you do that? Please? Don't. 844 01:01:44.320 --> 01:01:45.800 I don't want it. I don't want you to do that, and not 845 01:01:45.880 --> 01:01:50.599 to mission. Y'all know I hate restaurants as a first date anyway. Old 846 01:01:50.639 --> 01:01:57.119 my god, old my god, Oh my god. But I do understand 847 01:01:57.159 --> 01:02:01.000 that this is something that develops over time. Right, So, y'all know 848 01:02:01.039 --> 01:02:05.840 I'm greedy. Y'all know I don't like sharing my food. However, as 849 01:02:05.880 --> 01:02:13.920 time progresses, one of my love languages is eating all your fries. So 850 01:02:14.480 --> 01:02:21.800 but but, but but I'm willing the closer we get, the more I'm 851 01:02:21.800 --> 01:02:24.400 open to sharing my plate with you. But in the beginning, I'm like 852 01:02:24.440 --> 01:02:28.800 a rabbit dog and the god I'm eating the ship right here by myself, 853 01:02:28.960 --> 01:02:32.199 right. But like the closer we get, the more we develop, the 854 01:02:32.280 --> 01:02:37.480 more intense our bond becomes. I am open to sharing my plate with you 855 01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:40.440 on a first date. No, have some fucking manners, okay, and 856 01:02:40.559 --> 01:02:45.920 most of y'all don't even sanitized to wash your hands before you eat. Don't 857 01:02:45.960 --> 01:02:49.119 touch my shit. Don't touch my shit because like I'm a mom, I 858 01:02:49.199 --> 01:02:52.880 keep hand sanitizer in my purse, and Shot will tell you I keep hand 859 01:02:52.920 --> 01:02:57.280 sanitizer in my fucking purse. So it's like thank you. So it's like 860 01:02:57.599 --> 01:03:02.679 you just trying to reach over into my shit like that uptown as Eleven says, 861 01:03:02.800 --> 01:03:08.159 that's not a love language. I want you to know. The American 862 01:03:08.239 --> 01:03:13.639 Psychological Association also said it's not a love language. But I don't give a 863 01:03:13.639 --> 01:03:17.000 fuck what they say. Okay, I'm telling you, if I'm hitting your 864 01:03:17.039 --> 01:03:22.400 fries, it's because I love you. Take my love, Take my love, 865 01:03:22.719 --> 01:03:29.239 thank you, Thank you. Let me love your little nigga. So 866 01:03:29.320 --> 01:03:34.639 the next one, why do people say that it's toxic to be romantic with 867 01:03:34.719 --> 01:03:39.079 someone that you're not in a relationship with, because it is, all right, 868 01:03:40.280 --> 01:03:45.360 it's not I take that back. I take that back. It's not 869 01:03:45.480 --> 01:03:49.679 toxic to be romantic with someone that you're not in a relationship with. But 870 01:03:49.719 --> 01:03:54.559 it is toxic to be romantic with someone that you haven't articulated that you don't 871 01:03:54.639 --> 01:03:59.159 want to be in a relationship with. Right, So let me break that 872 01:03:59.199 --> 01:04:02.119 down. Right, if you have someone that you're vibing with, your hang 873 01:04:02.239 --> 01:04:06.480 with might even be going raw dog, Okay, raw dogs, you'm up? 874 01:04:06.679 --> 01:04:13.679 All right? All that is fine. But if you know in your 875 01:04:13.719 --> 01:04:17.840 core being, whether you're a male or a female, you have no expectations 876 01:04:17.840 --> 01:04:21.920 with this person, You have no desire to be with them monogamously, you 877 01:04:21.960 --> 01:04:27.800 have no anxiety to being a relationship. This doesn't go further than the four 878 01:04:27.840 --> 01:04:31.480 squares of your bad It's your responsibility to tell them that. Like, imagine 879 01:04:31.519 --> 01:04:35.480 giving somebody you're all and them knowing that they have no desire to see you 880 01:04:35.480 --> 01:04:42.599 what your clothes on? Sucks? Right, it sucks. So that's why 881 01:04:42.719 --> 01:04:45.800 sometimes people get heat from being like uber romantic with people that they don't want 882 01:04:45.800 --> 01:04:49.000 to bring a relationship with is because nine times out of ten you didn't tell 883 01:04:49.039 --> 01:04:51.599 them you don't want to be a relationship with them. And it's really not 884 01:04:51.639 --> 01:04:56.480 that hard. But a lot of people don't want to acknowledge the fact that 885 01:04:56.559 --> 01:04:58.920 you don't tell them you don't want to be in a relationship with them, 886 01:04:59.199 --> 01:05:02.159 because you know when you do, your access to them is going to be 887 01:05:02.440 --> 01:05:06.400 changed tremendously. Okay, because a lot of men and women you tell them 888 01:05:06.400 --> 01:05:08.880 like, Yo, there's cool, I like hanging with you, but I 889 01:05:08.880 --> 01:05:12.000 don't want to be in a relationship with you. We can be friends if 890 01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:15.559 you want. You're not gonna be friends. You're not gonna get no more 891 01:05:15.599 --> 01:05:18.079 coochie, You're not gonna get no more fancy dates. Right. So sometimes, 892 01:05:18.119 --> 01:05:21.639 and this is for men and women, we conceal and we keep it 893 01:05:21.639 --> 01:05:27.199 to ourselves and what we want and what our expectations is because selfishly, we 894 01:05:27.239 --> 01:05:32.159 know that if we disclose this information, maybe everything's gonna change. Okay, 895 01:05:32.440 --> 01:05:38.000 everything is going to change tremendously, all right. So I think that's why 896 01:05:38.199 --> 01:05:43.079 people don't say that they don't want to be inn relationships, which fucking sucks. 897 01:05:43.119 --> 01:05:49.199 Fuck you guy, fuck you girl. Okay, very considerate, very 898 01:05:49.800 --> 01:05:56.039 damn, my phone about to die uptown as eleven says, I'll get you 899 01:05:56.039 --> 01:05:59.880 your own. I'm assuming fries. Maybe you missed the point, Okay, 900 01:06:00.480 --> 01:06:02.880 me eating your fries isn't because I don't have my own fries. It's because 901 01:06:02.880 --> 01:06:05.840 I'm want your fries. I don't know how to explain it. It's a 902 01:06:05.880 --> 01:06:12.639 thing. And the one before that was just just not a love language. 903 01:06:13.119 --> 01:06:17.559 Tyhouse says, Loo Wow, Hollywood two five says Jersey Stormy. You have 904 01:06:18.119 --> 01:06:21.760 been able to check your DMS. I will when this is over, thank 905 01:06:21.800 --> 01:06:27.039 you. Sir Keithington says if you reach on my plate, I'm leaving and 906 01:06:27.159 --> 01:06:31.400 you're posting the bill Loo Baby. If I'm want the fries, I'm taking 907 01:06:31.400 --> 01:06:36.480 them fries. Okay. So yeah, before we get out of here, 908 01:06:36.519 --> 01:06:41.679 I just wanted to say, all right, it's gonna be a stormy September. 909 01:06:41.800 --> 01:06:45.880 All right, brace yourselves, It's gonna be a stormy September. September 910 01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:48.639 one. I'm in New York at City Winery. September fifteenth, I'm in 911 01:06:48.679 --> 01:06:51.719 Philly at World Cafe Live and Baby, I'll want to see you there. 912 01:06:51.880 --> 01:06:55.920 I hadn't linked up with East Your Heart Out podcast, and it is going 913 01:06:56.000 --> 01:06:59.039 to be lit, all right. We're gonna have prizes, giveaways, all 914 01:06:59.079 --> 01:07:01.280 that. Clickton get my body to get your tickets now or go to stormyp 915 01:07:01.440 --> 01:07:03.800 dot com. And I can't wait to see you y'all. It's gonna be 916 01:07:03.840 --> 01:07:08.719 so crazy. Somebody might get pregnant. Not gonna be me. Eh, 917 01:07:08.840 --> 01:07:11.719 you might going to check yourself. Please, It's gonna be shot, honestly, 918 01:07:13.519 --> 01:07:15.280 Okay, so listen, get your tickets now. You don't want to 919 01:07:15.320 --> 01:07:18.480 miss this. It's gonna be lit, all right. I love you guys. 920 01:07:18.719 --> 01:07:21.360 I can't wait to see you. Follow me on a gram at Stormy 921 01:07:21.360 --> 01:07:25.719 p p e A at Chocolate Chip and sip. And if you don't remember 922 01:07:25.760 --> 01:07:30.840 anything else, please remember I got daddy issues. I love you guys, 923 01:07:30.840 --> 01:07:39.440 and I see you next week. Peace, Same as it ever was