WEBVTT

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All right, let's get started Naughty
Tuesday on the Mennis Soota goodbye. You're

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ready for Naughty Tuesday? I'm ready? Okay. Now, normally we move

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these to the end of the podcast. Put I'm gonna give the heads up.

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We're going to move the Naughty Tuesday
emails to the front, mostly so

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I don't forget them. So I'm
not going to say the name of this

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person for Naughty Tuesday. But here
we go. Hey, besties, I've

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been wondering if I should ask this
question or not for Naughty Tuesday? Have

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you or any listeners ever used anything
other than sex toys for the love and

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Well, my now husband and I
when we first started dating, We're at

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the grocery store in the Jesus Christ
in the produce section, okay, and

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he grabbed a rather large cucumber and
said, hey, you want to try

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this one. I was like,
are you trying to kill me? So

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we picked out a normal sized cucumber, went home, washed it, of

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course, and yes, put a
condom on it. Then he went to

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town on me with it. He
was so into it, and it turned

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me on to see him so turned
on. There was also a zucchini in

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a great popsicle situation that happened to
time or two as well. Okay,

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that was ten years ago. We
have moved on to bigger and better things.

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It is still always a joke when
we go to the grocery store if

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we see something getting big, if
we see someone getting big cucumbers, we

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always chuckle and say, I know
what Dave is doing tonight. Haha,

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just kidding. Love you all listen
to the show and podcasts every day.

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I hope this is worthy of a
staff rider sticker. I would love one,

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dart lick. Oh, yeah,
you've earned a staff writer sticker.

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I will absolutely nail you one.
Well. You know my nerfball story.

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I mean, when I was twelve
years old, I wanted to have sex

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with something, so I cut a
hole in a spongy nerfball and then I

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made sweet, sweet love to it. The problem was the texture inside the

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nerf ball was rough. It was
like sandpaper ish. So I lined it

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with a ziplock bag. And let
me tell you something, Jenny, it

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did nothing for me. It was
it did nothing. So I didn't know

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those zip block bag detail that's doing
fault. Look at you use some aren't

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little horny young teenage. The funny
thing was it did it did nothing.

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It was like, okay, this
is not at work. This is nothing

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like I thought it might might might
feel like real sex, but I of

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course didn't know what real sex felt
like. But it was Yeah, it

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was nothing. So if you want
to share a story about something you used

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other than a sex toy, cucumber, electric toothbrush, hair brush handle,

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sharpie, anything like that, the
chlorox bleach wipes, dispensers, bottle of

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doctor pepper. Can I tell you
one time really quick. I've told this

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story before, but it's been years
and years. I worked in Phoenix and

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there was a very famous news anchor
woman on TV and she was, you

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know, normal and dignified and whatever. Yeah, and a nurse called in

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one This is before texting and probably
before email. A nurse called in one

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time and said I should not tell
you this, but I'm going to go

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ahead and tell you. New Year's
Eve a few months ago, a woman

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came in wearing a raincoat and sunglasses
after midnight on New Year's Eve. Now

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remember this was after midnight on New
Year's Eve, after a little celebrating,

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and she said she would not take
off her sunglasses, and she would not

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talk to an admitting nurse. She
insisted on talking to the doctor. She

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had got one of those little little
tiny bottles as champagne stuck up her butt,

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and apparently during loving or during like
you know, playing around or whatever,

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somehow they put a little one of
those little short bottles about eight inches

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long champagne bottles up her ass and
it got stuck. And how what do

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you do? What do you do? I mean, you try to,

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I don't know, you try to
get it out with a pair of needle

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nosed pliers or some salad tongs.
Salad tongs would probably be my go to.

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Then I'd start to panic and'd be
like, oh my god, we

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got to go down to the er
and get this out. So yeah,

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I that feels like something a little
bit bigger that you should be able to

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pull out on your own. But
I understand she might have gotten it stuck

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up there real good. Yeah,
But I don't. Yeah, I don't

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have any stories that involve things that
are not sex toys or getting anything stuck

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anywhere, except for a couple friends
have had some tampon issue stories where they

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disappeared in there. Yeah, that's
the only thing I've heard of that one.

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Uh okay, I'm going to delete
that one. Thank you. That

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was a great way to start it
off. Let's look at another Naughty Tuesday.

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Here is one. I won't say
my name. I have something to

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share with you guys for Naughty Tuesday. Sure it's not sure if it's too

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inappropriate or okay for the podcast,
here we go. My friend was casually

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seeing and hooking up with the guy
she met on tender. He told her

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that he cannot finish from BJ's or
lovin, only from hand jobs, or,

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as he refers to it, getting
milked. That's the whole story,

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and unfortunately, I don't think I
will ever forget it. You guys are

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the I would love a staff rider
sticker if my email gets read. I

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don't have a whole lot to add
to that one, but I know that

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you know it comes up on the
show once in a while. Everybody's got

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their kink, everybody's got their thing. It's like, I can't come from

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regular this or regular that. I
can only did I just say come?

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I can't come? Did I did
say that? It's kind of weird because

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you don't normally say that, but
it didn't phaze me. Yeah. Well,

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that's the funny thing about Jenny.
She might seem innocent, she's disgusted,

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absolutely disgusting. Okay, here's another
one for a Naughty Tuesday. I'm

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from Stockton, California, so you
can use my name andres I will say

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his name. My fiance is seven
months pregnant. For the last two months,

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we haven't been very sexually active.
She does not allow me to touch

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her, and she gets mad when
I do, and anytime I initiate any

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sexy times she refuses. For my
own gratification, I've even offered to just

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let me do things myself while I
maybe just look at her and rubber booty

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and know, quite honestly, can't
help but feel sexually frustrated and that it

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is starting to turn to all around
frustration because I do not masturbate. What

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well, you should, I mean, seriously, you should. That's why

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God made your arms long enough.
I don't think that's the reason. No,

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that's why God, When you know
God designed us, This is why

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you cannot perform oral sex on yourself. Because God did not intend you to

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suck your own dick. What he
did it, he can't do it.

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He can't do it, but he
did make your arms long enough, so

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Andres I would say, you've got
to go ahead and do that. I

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expressed to her that I feel unwanted
and frustrated between the lack of affection,

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her bad attitude, and short fuse
with our five year old. That's making

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me resentful. She says, Look, I'm pregnant, I've got no sexual

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desire. I then told her I
understood, however, I got wants and

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needs, and I need to have
them met in order to function one and

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be less irritable with a short fuse, bad attitude, and bad mouth,

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as she has labeled me, selfish, being selfish, No matter what,

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I'm a big time Minnesota goodbye,
uh listeners, So let it rip.

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I just need a second, third, fourth, or eighth opinion to set

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myself straight. I will tell you
that different women are different during pregnancy.

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I don't remember Julie or Beth or
I know we still had sex, but

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I don't know that it was more
for them or more for me. But

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they were accommodating. But I absolutely
would have understood if they said, you

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know what, No, I'm bloated, my ankles are swollen, my butt

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hurts, I got a pee.
I don't know, so I think Andrews

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she had just got to hang in
there. And also after she has the

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baby, it ain't going to happen
the day after she gets home from the

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hospital. It's going to take a
few weeks or a few months until things

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are back to normal. Yeah,
then if they're not, now you get

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a problem. I just had dinner. You just had a baby. No,

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I did not, But I just
had dinner with some girlfriends who one

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has kids and one just had a
six week year old. And it's like

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she just can't still, like her
body is not to normal, she can't

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have sex. And I can't speak
for a pregnant woman because I have not

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been, but you gotta understand that, like, there are such hormonal changes

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that go through a woman's body that
affects there not only like them physically,

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but them mentally, and that can
really affect a woman's sextrie. I do

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think that there probably is a compromise
in there for you, because obviously,

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like you do have needs yourself,
but the compromise might not have to involve

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her. I think it really might
just have to be something you do on

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your own at this point if she's
really not into it at all. Yeah.

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And that's the thing is like,
I don't I don't know why somebody

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could say I don't masturbate because that
is you know, I mean, I

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mean it might be healthy, yeah, but it might be like religious reasons

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too, could Yeah, I mean
I guess. Okay, next one,

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let's go to hold on one second. I want to make sure Okay,

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Andrews wrote in several times to make
sure that we read his email, and

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there you go, Patty Sage.
I saw chumba casino billboard on my way

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to work this morning. Flip and
billboard. Now, what the fuck your

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bff, Patty K. Thank you, Patty. I know that Chump is

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a big sponsor of the podcast and
we don't hear our podcast, but we

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know it can be irritating. But
thanks for tolerating that. Let's see what

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else we got here. Here's one
that says Minnesota goodbye. I hosted a

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client appreciation ladies night at Board and
Brush a few weeks ago. Of the

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twenty three women who are SVPD,
four of them asked me if this was

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Dave Ryan's wife store when they are
svp'd for the event, I had to

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smile knowing that a suspense substantial amount
of my clients listen and love your show

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as much as I do. And
bonus, we had a great evening making

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Christmas projects. Also as your middle
Ryan or how did you come up with

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a name? Dave Ryan have a
great Dave Rebecca. I'm really glad to

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hear that. You know, it's
so funny. First of all, thanks

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for going to my wife's store.
Twenty three women, four of them said

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is it Dave Ryan's wife store.
That's impressive that four people knew yeah and

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cared enough to ask yeah. And
Susan gets that. Once a night or

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so they'll say, hey, Hi, are you Susan, And she's very

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gracious, and she's very kind.
She's just a good person anyway, so

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she's like yeah, but she's also
very humble, so you know, she'll

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be like yeah and talk to him
about it. And once in a while

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I'll walk into the store to pick
up something or to bring Susan something and

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people will wave and smile and like, oh my god, hi, Dave.

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So I come over and make conversation, you know, because I figure

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if they know me well enough that
they listen to the show, and know

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me. I'm gonna come over and
say hi, so and I'm trying to

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do something lately, jinny where I
want to talk a little bit longer to

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the point where they go, holy
fuck, you wouldn't shut up, because

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I would rather have that happen than
somebody to go. Yeah, Dave Ryan

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came in and he barely said hi. I would much rather go over and

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say, oh, what's your project? What are you working on? And

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where'd you drive in from? Or
is this a present? Is your first

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time? And have them go fucking
leave then to go. He didn't talk

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very much? What is wrong with
the in between? Do you not know

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how to gate? Don't between?
Okay, so you're just thinking like you're

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either you're too short and it's rude, or you're too annoying and it's like,

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get away from me exactly. Yep, that's it. I don't know.

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I'm kind of kidding, but I
always like to give people a little

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bit more on you know. How
I learned that from this is so funny.

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I learned that from experience, but
also from Brookshields. And here's the

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story why. In nineteen ninety six, we all the radio stations went out

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to Burbank, California to talk about
the new shows that we're going to be

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on NBC that fall, and it
was really cool, and we broadcast from

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this giant, giant studio down the
hall from jay Lenos tonight and they brought

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everybody in who is going to be
on another show on new show, and

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Brooke Shields was going to be on
one called Suddenly Susan. Does that name

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Riabelle? It does? Yeah,
okay, And she comes in and she

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was very shy and very sweet,
and I said, hey, can I

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get your autograph? And she wrote, I'm gonna make this up, but

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she wrote something like, Hi,
Dave, nice to meet you. Thanks

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for talking to me about my new
show on NBC. It's called Suddenly Susan

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and it's on weeknights, you know, seven, and blah blah blah blah,

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signed with Love Brooks Shields and I
said, wow, thanks for writing

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something. She said, I always
want to give people a little bit more

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than they're expecting. And I think
she said her mom taught her that,

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So anyway, isn't it interesting to
give people a little bit more than they're

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expecting, And whether it's an autograph
or your time or whatever, give people

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a little bit more than they're expecting. Oh, I'm going to write that

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down for my book. Hold on, I'm gonna make a note. Okay,

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Dave's literally going to his Apple watch
use the Brookshield story about giving people

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more than what they are expecting.
Okay, gave me an idea for my

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book. She said, as also, is your middle name Ryan or how'd

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you come up with Dave Ryan?
I basically, my real last name is

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not Ryan, It's Kibler. And
I thought, oh, I can change

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my name. Let me change it
to something. There was a DJ in

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Denver that I listened to named Dan
Ryan, and I said, oh,

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Dan Ryan sounds like a good Dave
Ryan sounds like a good name. So

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I went with that, and I
don't like it. It's stuck. It

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was a seventeen year old kid's decision
that has affected the rest of my life.

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And I don't think it was a
good radio name. But you know

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what, it's worked out. Okay, how much time we got, Jenny,

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Jenny's looking at the clock. How
much two minutes? Okay, next

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one, let me find one that
might be short enough. Here we go.

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I've been writing to you. I'm
writing to you right now, I'm

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my daughter's band concert, trying not
to fall asleep as the eighth grader's play

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just slightly off key. I want
to say I don't need another sticker,

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as I have received two, which
was very surprising that you didn't read any

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of my emails. Okay, that
must have been a mistake. Ug I've

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always pronounced that as ug yougg I
digress. Personal written envelope made my week

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twice. Yes, I sat at
the counter and I write them out personally

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Naughty Tuesday. Once I had sex
with a manager of a valveline. I

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worked there and was working bottom side. He he and well. I pulled

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the plug and while oil was draining, we decided to have a QUICKI to

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see if we could finish before it
was time to add oil. We did

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not. After that, the customer
left dart Lick. Stacey, I don't

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care if you say my name is
Stacy. I love it. Thank you

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for being on Naughty Tuesday. And
yeah, sometimes I wonder if I send

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out more than one stick or to
different people, but either way, thank

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you for listening. That is it
for the Minnesota Goodbye. Send your emails,

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including Naughty Tuesday emails. We'll get
to those next week two Ryan Show

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00:14:50.480 --> 00:14:56.320
at KDWB dot com. And seriously, thanks for being here. I really

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appreciate your listening because there's so many
podcasts to listen to now and the fact

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that you take fifteen minutes out of
your day to listen to our podcast means

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00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:09.320
the world. So thank you for
supporting the podcast and we'll see you tomorrow