Made a decision face Sonny, So I had Hey, everybody, it's our
Thursday episode of her for crying out loud. I'd like to call it FCOO,
but that's sorry fo. Let's call it that. That's what I've been
calling it for a while for call what a Patrick. Hey, I had
no idea you guys had been doing this for thirteen years together. I wasn't
sure. I didn't know the history was that long. Who was the co
host that you replaced Stephanie that everyone would like brisk all right, so that
she was the one, because we've touched on this briefly in the last time
we caught up with each other. She's the one that was married to the
super agent for comedians, right, yeah, okay, yeah, I heard
an episode with her. She's insane, Yeah you think all right? Very
nice though, yeah, yeah, nice person, very yeah. So yeah,
So Stephanie's been with me ever since. That was literally like probably more
than thirteen years ago, that thirt I keep making it longer. If I've
been sober fourteen years. I was probably sober like two years when I first
was a guest on the show, So definitely twelve years we've been doing this
right right, eleven or twelve years Yeah, oh, I wasn't supposed to
put the headphones on. Whatever. Here we are and this is gonna be
video so people can see us all chatting in our studio and buy our stud
I mean our studio studio. Yes, thank you, Pat Patrick A proper
introduction, Patrick Hickey, our pal that everybody loves, that everybody knows from
Bad TV with your pal Dylan, who's not here you're supposed to be sitting
next to you. Yeah, he's on his way, hopefully you can make
it. Sure what's he doing? He works for Brian Callen in uh Tripoli,
I can't remember the guys first Sam Tripoli. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They have a show called Conspiracy Theories where they just riff on just conspiracy
theories from oh really yeah, with Dylan too or no, he's kind of
a part in the show. They let him talk. Yeah. Oh so
he's like a producer. He's a producer. I mean, that's the interesting
thing about all this. Everybody except for me, has like a producing job
in podcasting. Kaylin's got his side hustles producing. Our former colleague who shall
be nameless also produces other podcasts. Dylan produces podcast. I'd like to say
I discovered Dylan. He reached out to me on LinkedIn with some weird red
filter light like his picture and reached out to me a few times and wanted
a job at the Corolla Studios. And finally I was like, all right,
let's let's see what you got. Came in with this little We talked
about this, haven't we with a little sweater and his khaki's his navy blue
sweater and its khaki pants. The crazy part of all this, I'm old,
um. And then when I think of Kaylin and meeting him for the
first time at the studio. I started working for you guys in twenty fifteen.
Kaylin, you're thirty one now. Yeah, so that's uh, that's
really bad. That's eight years so you were like twenty four or something.
Yeah. Well this came up on the podcast the other day. Actually,
the first time I met you was when we did the live show down there.
It's ten Horn Flats, remember that, Emily Morris. Huh that's right.
Oh yeah, you were a little baby. Yeah. Oh yeah.
So how's bad TV? Bad TV's great? Um, what do you guys
cover? All right, so we're right now we're covering Before the ninety Day,
which is a version of ninety day Fiance, which a lot of people
don't know, like they have like eighty different versions of that. I hear
before the Best Okay, so yes it is. I can't I can't watch
the other versions of the show, which is crazy because it's just all different,
like slight it rations of the same concept. Some insane person flies to
a different country for someone they think they're in love with, or vice versa.
Right, Yeah, that's called the other way, and then they have
love in paradise where the other way is supposed to be the best one.
I disagree. I disagree. Oh my god. No, before the ninety
day the people have never met at all, and the other way they may
have actually interacted with each other prior. So you get almost like this little
tantalizing dance of like, what's this the first meeting? You're always working up
with that that series of what's going to happen the first time the two couples
meet? So if you don't mind I talk about it, it's yeah.
Is there cat fishing involved? There is. There's always catfishing. There's always
a poor, poor guy named Tire who lives with his mother, whose obese
has been catfished by a woman who he thought was Carmela, but it's actually
a guy named Christian who lives in the Dominican Republican who he's been sending money
to despite the fact he isn't act poor. Oh my god. And that
was discovered this episode. The producers like, hey, we got something to
tell you, and they said something I've never seen on reality TV. They
actually tell the participant tirade. They say, look, we don't need to
put this on TV if you don't want it. And I was like,
I felt so bad for the guy. But you've been dating a guy named
Christian? Oh my god? And do you want to hear? We have
a recording of us talking to him. Do you want to hear? And
he's like, nah, I don't want it. Okay, wait, this
is okay, what's the name of it? Before the ninety day and they
have not met. They have not met. It is excellent. Now.
Ninety Day Fiance started out with a documentary I believe in like twenty two eleven,
and then the original version the first couple of seasons. I mean you
watched it early on right stuff? Oh yeah, yeah, I mean,
we have Mohammed and Danielle where the man actually said at a reunion that she
smelled and I couldn't believe that was on air and on television, and my
god. And they stayed together well for a little while, and like she
was still like I'm in yeah, I love this guy until he escaped to
Florida and drove for uber and then she tracked him down there because she was
trying to get him out of the country because he definitely did conn her.
It's back in its best form now, so get this all right. So
they have a girl, very very pretty, thirty one Amanda from I Believe
Ohio. I could be wrong, or maybe that's where a sister lives.
Her husband died four months before they begin filming. He died. He wasn't
feeling well for eight months, went to a doctor. The doctor said,
ah, you know, it's we can't find anything. Returns to a doctor
eight months later. The doctor tells him get your things in order. You
have stage four whatever cancer. You have ten days to live or something insane
that. The guy doesn't even make it one day out of that going to
see the hospital. So he passes. They have two kids. He gets
cremated. He's putting a little box with his face on it that the kids
go to sleep with that night. She has been dating essentially a Romanian porn
star online who's like a TikTok sensation with one hundred and thirty four thousand followers,
and she's put for her right after right after meriving totally distraction grieving,
which I don't think she understands that. So she decides that it's an excellent
idea to get a plane ticket and fly over to Romania to live with him
for three weeks while her two very very young children are staying with her sister.
And I think we're in episode two of it, and the kids are
already like upset, Why is who's this guy in the video? Are you
guys sleeping in the same room with each other? And It's what's interesting about
good reality TV is it has you questioning all these like am I a judge?
Yassle? Because I think she's making a horrible mistake. And I mean,
you feel for her, because look, you've never you don't know how
someone feels. You haven't walked in their shoes. But me, when I
watch it, I'm like, couldn't you just go to the next town and
bang a door guy, you know what I mean, get this out of
your system, Go have sex with the hottest bartender or whatever, and then
wrap it up at his apartment and then dry home and hang out with the
kids. Yeah, leave your kids instead. She thinks she's gonna get engaged
and he's going to be their dad. Oh no. Simultaneously, he's already
told us to camera, I see myself as more of a friend to and
to her, to the kids. He definitely wants to have sex with her.
Oh yeah. And it's just that's one storyline. Another one is a
guy who he's been deaf uh since childbirth. Um, he only knows sign
language, he can't read lips and he can't talk, and he's met a
girl in like Vietnam or something like that, and it's just you feel bad
for him. And then you find out that they've been like doing like sex
videos with each other. You're like, oh, you're a friend. Oh
you're fine, you're masturbating on camera, you're living your best life. I
was, how will they communicate if they have to do the typing thing?
Oh? I think, which is insane. I mean, that's a relationship
ender right there, I can't have a relationship with somewhere. I gotta like
type it into my what do you want for dinner? Hold on a second?
And then she reads it and then oh what do I want for dinner?
Right? How do you jack off? Anti day? That sounds really
complicated? That very yeah, just to get consent that's like a whole long
I didn't even think about that. Yeah, Like how does that first come
up? So to speak? Right? You're just like, I mean,
we barely can communicate, but like, do you want to see me jack
off? She can't even read lips. Right, it's a guy here,
though, Stephanie. So where there's a will, there's a masturbating on film
way right, we will always find a way to show our penis. He's
like, I can read lips, just not these lips. Um, what
are you guys watching? Oh god? Oh, I was just telling her.
I think that I don't know if you guys would like this show,
but I think you would. You remember like the catch up Predator stuff?
Oh um, yes, Chris Hansen, sorry, yeah, but this is
this is, this is this organization. And she's got a house with a
bedroom upstairs that she has like staged. She's got a team of people working
with her to catch online predators. And she pretends that she's you know,
like she can look she's in her forties, she can look like she's sixteen.
She's got braces, they got the whole, they got the makeup,
they got wigs, they got everything. They make her look. And so
she creates all these online profiles. But she's an organ they're a nonprofit organization
specifically to bust these online predators. And season two is so much better than
season one. It's called I already told you the name of it. It's
called Undercover under Age. We talked a lot about this in the last episode.
Yeah, undercover underage. But yeah, and the season two is much
better because it's satisfying. They have the cops waiting there. They bust them.
You see the guy get busted. You see they interview them, the
guy in the car, like, what were you thinking. At one episode
they get the guy's wife on the phone to tell him, well, your
husband's going to jail because he was meeting a twelve year old. It's crazy.
Here's the craziness of the original version of that concept with I'm sorry Chris
Hansen. Yeah, he's gotten in at water too. He had busted for
drunk driving or something, or he had a skipped out on some bills or
something like that. And I think there was a bad divorce in there,
thrown in there somewhere, but the original version, like I saw an interview
with him a few years ago where he wasn't just busting your run of the
mill like creep troub. I mean there were pastors showing up at that house.
Um, there were. It's just you're just like I never know the
demons that you're around when you're walking around. So I was so into it.
After I watched the two seasons of this show, I went down the
rabbit hole and went on YouTube and found, like, not the old ones.
He's doing it again. Catch a Predator. It's called like Hanson versus
Predator or some shit like that. And he catches a guy. The guy
walks into the house and he sees him on the video and he on the
monitor and he goes, oh my god, I know this guy. He
sits with Chris Hanson on a commuter train. He said, I've sat next
to this guy plenty of times. He knows who I am. We've had
plenty of conversations about ketchup. Brett, he sat next to him. He's
commuted with this guy. So then the guy walks in and he thinks he's
he's a real estate guy in his sixties. He thinks he's picking up on
a on a like sixteen year old boy and he and he comes in the
kids. He talks to the boy for a minute, you know, have
some cookies and sweet tea. The guy leaves. Chris Hanson walks out and
he turns around and he goes, oh my god, Chris. And the
guy goes, Brett, what the hell? And he turns around. He
tries to leave, of course, gets tackled to the ground. Yeah,
and gets yeah. Wow, It's so crazy. Can you imagine how many
conversations those two had on the commuter trail? Chris love the show. And
then like the worst part that guy when he went to jail and they interviewed
him. He's like, the most embarrassing part was that I've communed with Chris
Hanson, like I've in his head, he's had worst case and like,
I can't imagine that happening to me. Well, idiot happening, Oh my
god, Oh god, it's I just always loved on to catch up Predator.
How the guys would always come over with like Mike's hard lemonade or totally
like he's like, what are you doing here or whatever, and then they'd
feel like listening a friend. Yeah, they'd be like why did you bring
Mike's hard lemonade? And condoms. He'd be like, I'm just wanted to
play with them, not in any kind of sexual way, like they're fun
like water balloons. Ever tried him with a condom? They're super fun and
slippery. My favorite part stuff was always when the Chris Hansen gets done,
you know, like laying out what happened, and then the guy's like,
so I can go, yeah, and it's like, yeah, you're gonna
let you go, and he's like, but does anything got to happen to
get out of here? You? And then the cops take them down.
I can watch that show. I usually can only take a couple episodes of
that at any given time because I'm like, oh, I watched um it
was a three part it came out, didn't have a lot of um not
a lot of people talked about it, but it was Jared the Subway Guy
documentary Stephen, did you see it? I watched it so good. How
about when he's like, what I what is the best? Is like these
girls I like him from Broken Homes? Yes? Yeah, Then he says
this, So the girl that kind of pulled him into this was a radio
DJ who I don't know if they ever had sex. Was that laid out
or were they that woman right now? Okay, so they but he thought
there was kind of at least the romantic connection. Was talking about all these
crazy sex things, particularly with miners. And the one thing I remember is
she was like I think she said she had a family member and then she
said, uh yeah, but she's only nine. And this is the creepiest
thing. He goes tell me more and I'm like, oh my god,
this fat guy subway, Oh my god, I know. Oh he was
like remember remember later it was like in the last episode of it or whatever,
and he's like trying to get her to have a birthday party for the
kid, remember, And he's like, I'm gonna come to the birthday party.
And then like, yeah, are you gonna We're gonna get video cameras
and like and then he's like which one, which one do you think I'm
gonna be more attracted to remember. Oh, I didn't watch start, but
that does sound. Oh my god, you got to watch the ad it,
Steph. It was so hard. He wants her to throw a birthday
party and then she says she's gonna, well, no, she says she's
gonna throw one because they're kind of trying to trap him, and he's totally
gonna come. But then something comes up and he can't come. So that's
when the FBI is going to get him at this birthday party where he's going
to try to scam on her. How did they finally get him because I
did not see the final talk, so she had all these tapes of him
talking about this. They got his computer search history. Obviously the FBI was
involved. What was the final takedown? Did they cover that? Um?
I know, I don't remember. You just heard in the news the fat
guy, the gut skinny eating subway sandwiches every day, is now a fucking
pedal, right, and he's arresting. They're gonna throw away the key.
And there wasn't even like this might not be true. Wife divorced him the
week later. Next thing, you know, Oh, that's right. The
wife had no idea, right, like, right, none, But he
was already liked this before he got married, right right? Oh, Like
I think he was already involved with the DJ woman and then he got married.
I mean he was already a creep. Well, I think she tried
to go to the FBI at first or something and nothing, they didn't,
nothing came. She tried really hard to get him in trouble, and nobody
would like take her seriously. So that's why she evidence. That's why she
put her. That's why she didn't she like say to like talk about her
kids, liked to talk about her kids him because she records, that's why
she recorded. She recorded him. By the way, the first minutes of
fifteen minutes of this podcast, good luck writing the liner notes and the someone's
like, oh my god, this sounds like the most impressing past. Oh
I'm so into. Well, last week we talked about this, um ohme
the Alian Netflix. Have you the Orgasmic Meditation documentary? So is this one
taste? Yes? Okay? Crazy? So that came out like last year
I brought this up. Everyone's like, what the hell are you talking about?
This is the most insane cult that no one's talking about. Yeah,
right, you have a cult of a bunch of horny, gross guys that
want to finger girls and somehow that is the cult. Yeah, that's the
cult. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, what, it's genius. It's
like, guys, do you want to pay to like pretend to be learning
how to finger bang women? And like you just have to pay us this
whole membership fee. But then the problem is you got to get women,
and there's not a ton of women that are like, you know what,
I want to be fingered by gross guys and you really want to you don't.
You want to be like junior supervisory And that's what it's like, do
you want to buy a house or what? And they're like all right,
now what got them in trouble is when they tried to pivot. So they're
like, all right now the cult is moving to we're not just finger banging
girls, we're also stroking dicks. Oh yes, that's right. Yeah,
and we need some women to like, yeah, learn the art of like
stroking a guy off this master stroke thing. We don't have women that will
do it just voluntarily. They are paying us, so we're going to pay
you. And that's when it became like prostitution, that right, And so
I looked her up. I can't think of the cult. Yes, she
was a chick, the startup in San Francisco. Not only that she had
branched this out to like twenty different countries. Right, it turns out there's
lots of guys that give me want a finger? Girl? What? No,
So she expanded this and shockingly, when I looked her up, I
assumed she was arrested or something. This is insane, right, nothing,
no charge has been filed, and like some of the accounts are from you
know, six years ago, which you never know that with time and whatnot.
But I think she's still conducting business in some sort of yeah oh yeah,
yeah yeah, because how would she go? I mean really, why
what law really did she break? I guess prostitution that's what they were bringing
her up on, right, Yeah, But then you got all these women
that are like, well I was there, willing, I was doing this
really right, Yeah, but you still can't extort men for as much as
they would like to be extorted. I mean, she was taking money for
prostitution survices. Hey, did you see how she first initially raised money for
that business? Adventure capitalists like how she was like getting an evaluation. She
started off by holding, like our first round of getting money raising funds by
being finger banks. Wow, this is hot. I'm into this. But
remember they also made it like some sort of weird like double worshiping thing like
rows were like, no, but it's not just regular finger banging guys,
like this is very special dated. Yeah, let's take a let's take a
quick break. Okay, we're back. You interrupt You didn't interrupt me?
Oh I thought, sorry, no ban banging finger bang theater. Hey,
don't get mad at me, get mad at this is okay. They brought
it up. They're gonna get mad at you. Do you even know me?
And less they're both like orgasmic meditation. Hello, Hello, Yeah,
we love the cult ship? Do you? Yeah? Um? Do you?
Uh? Speaking of cults, there's some really good ones. Something from
the past. Uh did you see Holy Hell? That was a crazy dog?
No, you told me about that a long time ago. I don't
think I ever watched it. Yeah, it's you know, it's goes where
all cults go. Eventually the leader starts banging everybody, um, and then
he I think he got on a plane and flew to Thailand and he's there
now. Um, were none of these cult leaders in jail, Yeah,
except for the Nexium Naxium. Poor Alison whatever. I think she's in jail.
She was the one who tried to suck me into the sex cult.
Did you know that, bat I did not know that. Actually, the
last podcast with Terse Strosster, I had no idea about the Chelsea Handler relationship.
I was blown away by that. Really. Yeah, and she wouldn't
allow her quote on the cover of your book. Whatever, Patreon, sorry
attack no, so um really quick, because I've told the story so many
times. But Alison what was her last name? Alison? Now that she
was from yeah, Smallville, She's called Smallville Alison. She was then Alison
mac with the so in Nexium in the whole sex cult thing, and she
was, you know, trying to recruit people. So I got a direct
message on Twitter. Well, she tweeted at me and she was like,
hey, um, what was this? I forgot two thousand and nine.
Maybe it was a long time ago before any of this drop for any of
this went crazy. Maybe no, twenty fourteen. I think it was in
twenty fourteen anyway, Yeah, because it was after I had a TV show.
Yeah. So then she she was tweeted at me and I was and
she was like, uh, hey, I'd love to talk to you about
this like women's empowerment group basically. And I was like, oh my god,
like, oh my god, like she's got a blue check. I
was so important, Like this is crazy, like I did a TV show.
I mean my TV shows not even that big, Like, oh my
god. So I have to friend her on Twitter in order for her to
direct message me. This was back in the day and you didn't just have
open dms, right, So then she messages me and she's like hi,
like um yeah, and it's like right to the point, this is like
a but it reeked of an MLM to me in a way because it was
like I was like mut multi level marketing. It reeked of something where I'm
going to be selling leggings. You know. I just was already a little
bit wary of it. Ears yes, exactly. So she's like, um,
it's a women's empowerment oh, I said. So I said, is
this a charity? Like, because I was originally thinking she was going to
try to enlist me to like do a charity event, right, And and
I was like um. Basically I asked for more information. I have the
whole I have the message I posted every once in a while to prove it.
Anyway, She's roll pushy about it and she was like, no,
it's a women's empowerment group anyway. UM. So then I kind of blow
her off because mlmish. And then she again messages to me and she's like,
can I just can? I love to meet you for coffee, like
I'm in LA, I'd love to meet you for coffee to talk more about
this. And then I was like this bitch b cray. So I blow
her off. And then years later, a few years later, the next
she's in the headline news and John's like, oh my god, isn't that
the one who tried to recruit you to be part of this? And I'm
like, oh my god, I was this close to being in a second
now not that close, Steph. That speaks to you that your ears were
perked up and you knew better. But so many people don't. I know
that was a sex cult. I just thought that she would have gone in
I don't, like, I'm not a joiner, So I was like,
I don't know, this sounds like something that is involving pressure. This doesn't
sound like she wants me to help speak at a or be part of a
charity. It sounds like women's empowerment is something very off about. Well,
it turned out it she was. Once we watched the doc it was that
documentary that was all the women what it was called something Jans Janess. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, that's not the HBO produced one that has had two
seasons, right, wasn't Yeah, no, it was. It was in
there. Yeah. No, But first they called themselves Janas or Janess or
whatever, and then that. But it was this guy, the volleyball guy,
Keith Ranieri was was involved in the whole thing. But that's where they
start you with the Janas thing, and then what they once they get you
skinny enough, you know the then they put you on a diet. You
gotta do some intermittent fasting to get skinny enough for Keith rane Then they start
branding you and you you got to have a master, and you gotta have
Yeah, you gotta report to your master. Yeah, here's the crazy thing.
So I would passively watch that talk and every once in a while I
was astounded by how much footage they have of Chrise Keith Ranery just talking to
essentially his cult members. The man talked in circles. Anybody would have a
brain, forgive me. He'd be like, you know, um, the
meaning of life is what life does to yourself and the outside of our being
is what we give to ourselves and to others. And I'm like, he
just said nothing, and people are like nodding their heads because he just uses
a bunch of words and talks and circles. His whole thing was, um,
I'm not going to compare that to scientology, but it was kind of
like a self help thing that spun into essentially a sec I just never understood
why I couldn't be a cult leader like I can talk. I feel like
I'm a good like. I love sales, yeah you know what I mean,
which I feel like it is a big part of it. Step let
me tell you selling. The makeup of a good cult leader is blind ambition
and a complete lack of morals. And you can be no, yeah,
I do have some morals, that is true, But I feel like just
the sucking people in and then like talking to them about nothing for hours on
end. I can handle that. Well, that's the Achilles heel. Of
a horny guy. Yeah, although I'd have to be drinking a lot.
I'd have to go back to drinking or at least being high where you're like,
okay, hold on, I think I figured out life right. And
then my cult members would be like, are you high? And I'd be
like a little bit, but not that bad. I could totally drive right
now. What's that? Dylan? Hi? Dyls. Hey, you guys
don't watch any of the Real Housewives of Jersey, do you? Now?
I can't stand those people. They remind me too much of the people that
I grew up. I'm from Massachusetts. Just that very thick, annoying accent.
Everything's Italian rules to I mean, you can get away with committing happy
everybody. Yeah, how are you sorry? I'm late, Idell. I
watched the reunion. Uh Teresa dch makes me kind of violently angry. I
need to talk, yeahs her husband. I can't stand so Joe Judas no
I love now he's gone husband. Yeah, he's a piece and his fucking
private eye Buka top Yeah, he made about him played by Stephen Baldwin.
Really, oh yeah, he's been around forever since I just can I just
interject that um on real households of Beverly Hills. You know how dret Um
took over a Buka to Beppo. Yeah, and was redesigning one of the
rooms. That's my bud. It's like blocks from my house. She doesn't
live too far away. I don't think, oh really, yeah, I
think she lives in the Okay, it's okay, such a it's such a
Buca to Beppo though. It's like it's really like the McDonald's of like Italian
food. Yeah. I was not going to say, I hope I don't
offend you or anything, but is an absolutely disgusting place. I mean their
bread is really good. It's it's not like a fantasy, not athentic.
At was that offensive? Well, it's no olive garden. It's better.
It's family. Yeah, no, it's like you're it's a great place to
take your kids if you don't mind like just a cacophony, yeah, of
just screaming and dishes clattering and yelling. I ordered a caesar salad. Families
off from there came out with anchovies anchovi warning. Well, it was probably
on the menu. This is what's so insane about pat A little warning when
you put anchovies in my caesar salad, which is notoriously an anchovy rich.
I mean the dressing is made of anchovie. Klin. I know you don't
have a microphone, but you can just not. But you love I bet
you love anchovies because yeah, you like seafood. That's another caliber of fishiness,
fishy smell. I think the Jews love anchovies and the Italians linettes like
an honorary, and the Italians probably we have palets for that. We like
salt. Yeah, my mother would make linguini anchovies Christmas time. Yeah,
yum, I'd be real thinnic. Know what were you guys talking about finger
banging aging? We talked, We talked a little. There's a new version
of To Catch a Predator. We talked about a couple of docks orgasmic meditation.
One taste when I brought it up on our podcast about the girl who
has like the finger banging cult? Oh yeah, like, how do you
watch those things? I don't know, Yeah, Pat, just watch us
the most awful So I love it. I love those docs. Yeah,
I want more cults, more cult stuff. What else where do we stand
with the curious case of Natalie Grace Natalia Grace. Um, oh my god,
that was so much craziness. That was one of the craziest, not
since Abducted in Plain Sight has something like rung my bell like like this.
I mean remember Obducted in Plain Sight? How much fun we had talked about,
Like how they're like, oh no, you abducted and and molested our
daughter again? Not again. I thought this time would be defra was Natalia
Grace thing? Well, that's the one we talked about on the last PMC
that we just with the little orphans, the chucky, the living chucky dog.
Yeah, dude, you know what's so crazy? I would have I
would have just fucking kicked that little thing. Every guy I talked to said
the same thing, every guy of doctor, like, I would have knocked
that that person standing in front of my child or in front of my bed
with a knife, are you kidding me? And the chapponappened. She was
a little girl who you need to punch in the face, donkey, kick
in the faces those crazy fucking parents. Well, this is where he says,
it's a little bit more wrinkly. While the last episode, the son
and the father are caught talking of I think they kick off Mike about how
the mother had thrown her down the stairs, had abused her, and they
had videotape of her, of the mom, of the mom putting her face
against a wall for twelve hours and she pete and pooped herself. Did you
watch the whole documentary? To be fair enough, all I know is that's
proven that she was a little girl, she had baby teeth. Yes,
there is DNA tests that the ones who are crazy, it's unreliable narrators that
these adoptive parents were absolutely batchelor to Phil really let her have it. Well,
in the hypothetical where I opened up my home to a beautiful little Ukrainian
girl, she turns out to be a fucking murdering gypsy. You're hypothetical.
But in the real world, in the real world, I didn't know about
it. But they made the horror movie. The horror movie had already come
out. That's where these freaking crazy ass people got the idea for for saying
that, yes, the movie the Orphan had already come out. These people
got to say that, well, the good news we're going to hear from
her her side of the story drops at the end of the summer. Yeah,
but the poor girl's been completely gas lit, totally, totally saybody should
kick her in the face. Nobody should kick her in the face, especially
not you. No, no, I have no way to do it.
To do it? Dare you? Can we plug adopt her? Yes?
Plug with a show that we're doing that I think is our best work ever
on bad TV Y Flavor of Love season two. O my god, did
you watch Flavor of Love when it first aired in two face? Of course?
Of course it kept a nation's spell bound. Quite honestly. They don't
make reality TV like that anymore. It's such a it's people Flavor of way.
There's this concept where New York was introduced in the first season. There's
this concept called totalitarian art, where something is so good that it just it
reverberates in your soul. Godfather ulysses stuff like that. I would argue that
flavor Flavor is in its own theater. On par with that. There are
a contestant ships on the floor the way is it now? No? Her
name was something he and okay, okay okay on the floor. So there's
a there's a renaming ceremony that takes place every first episode. Because flav is
bad with names. So what he'll do is someone will walk up to him
and he will say, you have eyes, I'm gonna call you eyes,
or I'm gonna call you like that like that. Yeah, yeah yeah.
There was this woman who was like, I'm not skinny, I'm not fat.
It's like that, and so he called her like that. I love
that. I am She wasn't fat, she wasn't fat, quite abasi she
was fat. Yeah. So anyways, you have a lot of fun,
but we can't. I'll tell you what every episode don't and I watched.
We can't believe what was allowed back then. The renaming sari ceremony is absolutely
insane, completely degrading. So you're watching old, an old season of it.
Yeah, people love it. It's so we in our Uh it's on
Prime, you can buy it on Prime, it's about, it's on Rumble,
it's on YouTube, it's on for Chan, it's everywhere. And this
sum around they don't this sum around, they on sense, right, So
when the girls naked, when they're swearing, it's all there for us.
So what season are you watching? Watching Season two? We covered season one
on Patreon. I am so scared of it. Yeah, we hope that
never gets on. When we had on a guest on our show, somebody
from from that show, I did end up going to jail to jail right
right on the trail. Well, one of those girls came on our podcast.
Remember she came on Charmaine Charmonade or something like that. She you know
what. She came on Certain Skill rewind to talk about jail, to talk
about the prison systema she'd spent time in jail, right, and she went
to jail with our girl Betty. Yes, she went to Yes Betty Broad
Hetty bront about she was from Flavor of Love, that this might be a
girl from this season. So a girl gets tossed out the first night because
in the first five minutes she literally starts beating the shit out of another girl.
And I looked her up to ask her, Hey, would you like
to come on the pod or share your experience season two? And when I
started her out, she, uh, there was a lot of news items
about arrests. It's Charmaine Charma something like that. Oh, it's it's okay,
it is her, right, yeah it is. Yeah, that's so
crazy, Okay, all right, so she's landed on her feet. She
has had multiple names so she was Sapphire girl, Sapphire Sapphire, but also
her name and he renames these people, so I'm not sure. Safari h
y R. She landed on her feet. She has a very successful chapstick
business. Yeah really, I follow her on Instagram. She was a really
fun guest, like she was it, I told Patton the first episode.
The most heartbreaking part about it is that she gets kicked off night one.
She was amazing, but she beat the fuck out of well, you know,
happened the other girl. The other girl had claimed a bed. Htown
had claimed the bad and she looks like a girl Scout grew up. She's
just the most jugie white chick possible. She's frail. She's there to be
on VH one. Anyways, she claims a bed web he just used the
word shoogi. Yeah, uh, Sapphire wants the bed. She goes,
hey, that's my bed. Sapphire says, I don't give a fuck.
Much like prison, it's kind of this, yeah, exactly. You have
to claim your car. And so they proceed to fight, and Hdown does
not think it's gonna go the way it goes, but she's quickly thrown into
a jiu jitsu level, full bodyguard and Sapphire's punching the fuck. Oh my
god, and it's it's night one. It's so great on the ground something
Oh why flavor. Flavor had delayed the clock ceremony by a good long day,
like four hours, Jesus, Lord of the Rings remastered. Yeah,
she didn't know. I think production kept telling her he's going to be here.
You know, you can't use the restroom. Yeah, so unfortunately for
something. Yeah, so something. They all toast to survival and something dips
down, dips back up, goes upstairs and there's ship. There's ship in
the foyer. There's ship on the stairs. And Flave goes into the bathroom
and he's like what's going on and she's like, you need to leave me
the fuck alone. I have to take a ship. And we were just
like so proud of her brazenness because she was like, fuck you guys,
Yeah, I shit on the floor. What I am have like mad respect
for is the fact that like I can't even pee in a public restroom if
there's other people in other stalls, yeah, let alone. Like I would
have not gone to the bathroom in like five days, Like there's no way
my body alerted me less time to take a poop while I'm on TV.
Well, we we talked about this when we were covering it the you're bout
and I don't want to get too gross about it, but your bowels are
kind of outside yourself. It has like kind of a soul of its own,
so when you have to go, there's really no tamping it down.
Like if you're not feeling well, if you're not feeling but psychologically your body
can go like you know what, you have a new boyfriend, You're not
going to need to go to the bathroom exactly. That's how girls are.
Yeah, that's how girls are. I was like, why is she in
the shower so long? It's how guys are, too not quite too quite
guys are. I don't think pigs are the ones to leave the door open
the second date. Like, yeah, but Pat and I both have laid
away. I mean, Pat's courted many more women than I have. But
I said many more women. You don't have to me, I fucked.
I know we've laid next to women with our guts just like balloons. Just
just I'm not going to sleep, but I can't fart in case she wakes
up because I have to, you know, the things we do to keep
it take care of health. Yeah yeah, yeah. On that note,
should we take another break? We're back chat fireside, fart chat. So
what else do you guys? What else? I love below Deck? I
love it, and you can find that all on the bad TV feed wherever.
You're still unrolling his eyes though, because is disappointing us. It's not
Jumped the Shark because below Deck is amazing, but below Deck is not treated
well by Bravo. I agree, it's ridiculous. Um, they think they're
hard, they're if I'm the hardest working to jump in sorry, go ahead,
Yeah, I mean how hard heart? How hard that that crew works?
You know? I mean they work, they bust their ass, they
do and it's incredibly easy work. But they do do a lot. Here's
the problem with this season of sailing, Yeah, Dylan, I cover it
all. This season. We have cast members that have been on for this
their third season. They're getting a little too comfortable. Yes, and for
some whatever reason, producers think that we want to see the drama of their
essentially being a throuble. Yeah, and the females to play. I agree,
and we don't care. I'm I don't like I'm sick of what's his
face carry? I am sick of he grosses me out to be good.
Look, look, look, I don't like him. But he seems to
be the heart throb every season, and it's been yeah, why is he
except for the first season? Why they? Why do they? He just
he has this tried and true Coxman game. It just works in this sphere
that he exists in because everyone's drunk, everyone's a runaway, limited options,
you're all trapped on a boat, right, So, but the throuble thing,
it's interesting after a while. But if you watch enough below deck,
you know that, like what happened to the end of the last episode,
they serve them a cake for dessert. I didn't see the last episode.
They make a cake for the charter guests. They eat half the cake.
They bring the cake downstairs and the sea rats begin consuming the cake, and
one of the sea rats says, should we not do this in case the
guests want more cake? And the lead searette says, shut the fuck up.
Then the charter guests, who are paying exorbitant amounts of money, so
can we have another piece of cake? The searetes have gnarled it to pieces.
So there's a little bit of tension there. That's what we want,
people making bad decisions, yes, right, And we also love Dylan always
puts this the best uh is it's uh thrusting incompetence upon wealthy people paying for
these pas. It's just a perfect I mean, there's has to have been
like three hundred episodes of this. Dylan and I have probably covered more than
half of it. Don't break the formula it's working. Don't bring this summer
house kind of romances to this. You know, let summer House be summer
House. What Bravo's doing now is they never give them reunions. Fucking Southern
Charm gets red. Yeah, no one watches Southern char right right. Um,
But now they have started to release two episodes of Below Deck a week,
which is this like, let's just get through the season. We're done.
It's like what I thought about this doing. Have you guys noticed?
And it started with the Bachelor staff. You guys, are you guys still
covering that on Rosebrooks? I assume you are. Oh yeah, We've We've
just done our cast Roast three episode. Three episodes of Cast roast where we
talk, where we make snap judgments about all the guys, just pure fun
facts. That is such a there's no height. There's a great idea.
I think there was a misstep. S already just turn this to Bachelor because
we're not going to be covering it. But thank you for doing God's work.
But um, I think they miss missed up in their choice of the
bachelorette. It should have been forgive me before I even brought the subject.
I should have thought of the girl's name. There was a girl from the
last season of The Bachelor, Ariel. She was her first off. Her
family looked like they were in the Russian mob. That would have been fascinating.
Um, and she was from New York. I think, excuse me,
I think she would have given her suitors a real run for their money.
Instead, we've picked, as they often do, just the nice girl,
probably a little passive with this bizarre Philly accent that's by way of Georgia
that just does not hit the ears right. It's just I have a theory.
Do you want to hear? My theory is that they thought Ariel was
going to be the bachelorette. I think they kind of were thinking of her
because a lot of these guys are like from New York. They're they're way
edgier than what Charity. Oh so you're saying in the casting that they had
already I think they last minute decided to have Charity be the bachelorette. I
think they'd already been casting for with Ariel in mind. These guys are very
They're very not what Charity would what I think she would like ros Wall Street
Ros. Yeah, finance Bros. Um uh, which I know is Wall
Street Bros. But like no, but like a lot of software sales,
a lot of and a lot of them are from New York people who are
like, how do you make four hundred grand a year from steal from dummies
that give me their money to invest. Yeah, But normally for a girl
like Charity, they would have like a guy, guys from San Diego who
played baseball like they would given baseball, or guys from the South who are
like yeah, it's like a like nice guys who are really into family.
These are these Why do they got a bunch of East Coast guys? Now?
Yeah, That's what I'm saying because I think that they thought Ariel because
she was number three third runner up and she's beautiful. Oh god. And
I think everyone thought she was going to get it. Yeah, mistake on
their part. I don't know where the future of I hope. I hope
that running, you know, so that you guys can be successful recapping it.
But I don't know. Everyone I talked to I ask if they're watching
it, they're like, I left that a long time ago or whatever.
You know, they need to do something smutty or something well. People have
talked about having Rachel aka Raquel, someone like that kind of figure, b
the bachelortte, someone a well known either villain or something, just to make
it fun and bring the audience back. I wish you could have been here
when you guys are talking about Vanderpump. Did you guys talk about Vanderpump a
lot? We didn't talk about it at all. Oh really? Did you
talk about it last time you're on? I don't remember, but I think
Stephen Lenette have covered it quite a bit. You know. I covered it
with Cecily on Rose Pricks. That was our whole Thursday. Every Thursday,
we covered every episode of it. Yeah, it was really fun. Thank
the reality TV God's really handed all us podcasts a little gift for that spring.
Yeah, um, if I can just theory on this idea that we
want to watch two hours of a television show. It started with The Bachelor,
and then they got real greedy with the oh, Monday Night, Tuesday
Night, and then my god, yeah, the biggest, the worst,
the worst. You and I need to talk about nights of it for two
freaking hours. We dread it because you gotta take notes and try and be
funny. But it's a half filler. It's an hour filler. Well that's
what I feel like they're doing with Below Deck. Dylan. I think seems
to think that they're just dumping these episodes so then get through it. I
think they're learning. They've done some kind of math where ninety day Fiance does
two hours, Married at First Site does two hours, I have to give
up a married at First Site. By the way, they're on episode twenty
seven. I now it goes on too long, and I think it's crazy.
And then and then by like halfway through, you're like, I gotta
just read spoilers, spoilers, or I'll leave it on. But now I'm
going to do some work, right, you know, And I think Below
Deck might they might have done the math, like on a Monday night.
If people are tuning for the first episode of Below Deck, fuck it,
they're so dumb and into it. They're not even going to know that a
second episode starts up right behind it. And it's just it's easier to keep
people somewhere, sitting somewhere than it is to put a second, a different
show on and try and get them into it. So I think that's their
mouth and I hate them for it. I hate them for it. I
had to stop with Married at first sight because the casting was just like,
these people are never going to end up too, are you crazy? Like
they don't even like each of these from the beginning. Anybody watched Survivor at
all? A lot of people still watch that. I love. I know
you love. Survivor's still going strong. I can't. It's Survivor needs to
be the way I watched Survivor is I have Survivor experts in my life.
Rubs is a massive encyclopedia of Survivor. They tell you which seasons you should
watch, and every time it's an unbelievable season of television. I don't know
why I don't watch it every season. All right, I need a season
to watch because I feel like I should watch. I want the Millennials one
is so good. The Millennials first. In what years have we talked about
too? Is there a particular like Millennials one was probably the teens, somewhere
in the mid teens. Honestly, just google best season, That's what I
did. But the Millennial one is a fantastic place to start. Also,
Mike White is on a season or two the wa I want to see that.
But he's really serious, rightly. Oh he's like writer from White Lotus.
Yeah, yeah, wow, I'll watch that one. Oh he's what's
fucking incredible on it? He's so good really, and they all know he's
himself, so they all know. Like some people, I mean some people
don't sound like I don't think a lot of people would walk by him on
the street know who he is. But it is the guy from Dewey's roommate
from School of Rock, from School of Rock. Um, but he's like,
you know, people in my industry they want to win an Oscar.
I want to win an Academy and Warren I fucking survivor. I love it.
He's just he's amazing. That's awesome. Spoiler I think. I think
when the kids get a little older, that's something that I'll jump on.
Yeah. I assume it's going to go on until twenty years after I'm dead,
because it just works. And Probest is he's the best self sustaining.
Yeah. The thing I don't like about Survivor though, and this is a
problem I have with a lot of reality shows like Survivor adventure shows, is
there's too much um actual adventure. Like I want the art and give them
enough time to like have interpersonal disasters. It's all like, Okay, it's
time to do the thing, and it's always the same thing. It's like
it's the obstacle course where you're gonna end up having to hang off of a
bar whoever can. Sometimes the stakes are pretty high and people need you to
do this or that you know they're dead. That's when it can get pretty
exciting. The beautiful thing about Survivor is Probest is just a consummate professional.
He's incredible. He's the best reality TV host in the world. Anyways,
the mechanism and the game play is so disgusting. People do inhumane things to
one another. Guy said his grandmother died, did he? Yeah, Johnny
fairplay full backstab one another, people lie to it's it's really it's subhuman.
Shit gets done um, which is really really fun to watch. But I
remember a famous clip when Tim Robbins was still married to Susan Surrandon. I
think they've gotten a divorce and it was like season three or Survivor and they
went on like entertainment tonight and I remember them. I'm not sure if the
clip Survive you can find on YouTube. They're talking about Survivor and how it's
really the end of civilization and how families should not be watching it and thank
god they're pretty sure reality this reality TV thing is going to be done in
a couple of years. Oh my god, Susan Surandon is insufferable. She
is. Yeah, we introduce you to Life after lock Up, Susan surrender.
Are you guys still watching Life after lock Up? Though we might do
Life during lock Up? The problem with a lot of these reality shows,
and you probably run into it to Steph is the cooked parts of reality TV.
They you Mommy Burger, the ship, there's two, there's a couple
locations. Oh this is cool. The fries are nine dollars and then they
make too many ummmy burgers, they scale too much. Yes, and they
don't like the original version of Love after lock Up. I love the first
like three seasons, and then they started realized like, hey, we don't
need to pay these people. We can get them too. We can just
tell them what to do on camera, and we can make a whole season
out of it. But it's poorly acted. It's yeah, clearly cooked,
and it's really bad lazy TV. If you thought, like, think about
a fentol addict taking stage direction, it's worse than you could ever imagine.
And also it gets really tough for us to when children are in because a
lot of kids get involved. Yeah, that's time we have to turn into
awful, monstrous people if we're going to laugh about that stuff, which we
do um with great applaum, but um, it's really it's just a bummer
to watch. Yeah, I don't like that. That's why I like,
I'd rather do a show like you know, the Married at First Sight or
whatever, because at least these most of them don't have kids. Yeah,
that's that's tough for me. Whenever there's kids involved, I almost don't want
to recap the reality five kids in a two bedroom apartment, They're like,
who wants to move to They this is your daddy now, yeah, yeah,
just got out of jail. Well love after lock Up Laugh last season,
and I know the cast members do list to our podcast. I would
say to this one guy who was the worst human being ever, I'd say,
I will fight you for ten thousand dollars. I would lose that fight.
I wouldn't way to do it because I just want to get a few
punches in on his face. Yes, he was just just going around the
world and pregnating whoever and then saying God told him to do it, and
I just want to punch him in the fat soul. Fett and all had
four, five different kids. And he says, I don't have time for
that right now. Oh God, he said. I maybe he was so
busy. He was trying to start a sneaker lineup. He was trying to
get back in. That's a lot. That's hard. Have you ever tried
to start a sneaker business? No, you don't know how. That's a
lot of fun. Got to work the phone. I'm a fucking loser.
I don't have an entrepreneur TV for living no, I know, but she's
being Pachiti. Now what So, uh, every day you guys have an
episode, it's a lot so bad TV has we dropped in a single week
Flavor of Love season two, an episode U two Below Deck episodes in the
Bad TV feed? Uh oh before the ninety day. So that's four shows
a week in justin Wow. Okay, guys are busy, Yeah, all
right, and then we're going back into the vault for Belowdeck. Well,
we just started and we had to turn it off for a second because we're
too busy. We started going back to season one of Below Deck. So
it was actually it's actually a ten year anniversary. We need Lynnett and Steph
to come on and do a PMZ. I'd love that, or cover a
Blowdeck episode recount. I would love that absolutely, let's do. I just
want to tell you guys right before we wrap that, our friend Robin rob
Hey, does she want to come to the barbecue? What barbecue? Well,
you don't want to go what barbecue? Barbecue? Yeah? I bet
she would. She once she told me today that she is loves bad TV.
She after hearing you guys on our show, loves it and is a
Patreon member now is that right? Yeah? All right, Robert, you're
invited. Stephanie, you're invited to a stinker Rinker. The other stinker Rinker.
She lives in San Francisco. She would drive down. What I didn't
want to tell you about it, guys, I didn't want to make you
uncomfort because you won't want to go, and then you're gonna make me feel
uncomfortable by telling me that you can't make it. Well, what's the barbecue
we're gonna do? Uh, we're gonna do a fourth July party where we
do uh, you know, drink, you know, barbecue, and then
we're gonna do karaoke at night. Okay, oh, I'm in coming.
I'll be here in the afternoon and I'll leave hours before the karaoke. Hey,
I got an idea. Why don't we do a podcast while the party's
going on? Do it? Five hundred fans in the parking lot. Let's
do it. Do a podcas Honestly, when he's when he said barbecue,
I now, huh flashbacks? All right, everybody, it was so good
to he Thank you guys so much on our show. You guys anytime.
Thank you for letting us use your space. Our space, our space.
Thank you, thank you, all right, love you guys. Guys like
it in here. We love we love it, we love it. Thank
we. Freedom. All right, everybody now, don't suck it up,
don't fuck it up. Still hidden, letting go,