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When your old career gives you lemons
throwing some ice, mix in some vodka.

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Call it a podcast from the Mac
of All Trade Studio in Fairport and

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driven by Victor Chrysler Dots Jim Ram. It's Billified, the Bill Moran Podcast.

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Well, hello and welcome. Thanks
for getting your pawn on, Thanks

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for telling a friend. That's how
we spread the word about the pirate ship.

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You can like us on YouTube,
follow our YouTube page Billified. We're

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streaming there now. You can find
us on Facebook, Billified, Billified Underscore

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Pawn on Instagram. It's all right
there for you, right here, baby,

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It's all right here. He and
Dougie fresh Tonight in the House,

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a dynamic duel from Gotham, City
of Brothers and Sisters. Lock the doors,

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Send the kids, the neighbors.
We started drinking early. Brother.

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Yeah, it's a good thing because
usually days like today are a little bit

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tough for me. And I say
that because and I don't know this will

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sound I hope it doesn't sound shitty
to you when I say it, But

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I don't know that you can really
relate to it, because I don't know

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that anybody can relate to anything unless
they've experienced something like that, you know,

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and I don't mean that. So
I had to drop my thirteen year

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old off at the airport, and
sometimes I got to tell you, when

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I spend time with him, I
feel more like an uncle than I do

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necessarily a dad, and just only
because you have a finite amount of time

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that he's here and then he goes
back to his mom, which is out

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of state. And it's something that
I had to agree to, and so

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you're less about the rules. You
try to coach, coach them up a

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little bit, but you're not necessarily
being tough. So even like last night

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at ten thirty, we went and
got snacks at seven to eleven. I

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would never go on a Monday night
at ten thirty seven elve having to buy

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cheefs pay. You don't want to
be the bad guy. You want to

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have fun, you want to I
was trying to be cool and all that

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stuff. It's just the stuff that
I would normally never do. And uh,

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you know, he's a wise young
kid, like he catches everything.

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He's very on top of stuff.
But uh so I went. I took

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him to the airport this morning and
he was flying out of like eleven thirty

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five, and I waited. I
watched the plane get up in the air,

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and I could feel like a little
rumble in my stomach. I'm like,

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I should probably use the bathroom,
all right. I thought you were

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going to say you felt a little
you know, your heart dropped a little

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bit when you saw us playing.
No, you you got to use the

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bathroom. My heart, my heart. I better get home really quick because

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I don't want to I don't want
to go into delta if this is disgusting,

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I don't want to hear it this. Wait. So I'm thinking,

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like, because the night before I
was talking to him and I started to

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get a little emotional, and I
would normally not let you know. I

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don't think any of the boys had
ever really seen me cry. As I've

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gotten older in a certain situation,
since I certainly have been more emotional with

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some people than I have ever been
in my life. But that that is

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nothing. So last time, I
don't tell your friends. I couldn't get

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it up. Please like, yeah, exactly, how did you know you've

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been there? No? So he
uh saw Then at one point we're talking

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and he didn't know this for a
while, and then he looks at me

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goes, are you crying? And
I go I get a little upset about

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it. He goes, yeah,
I know what you mean. And so

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it was all right, but h
but here's the thing. I'm leaving the

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airport and I go ooh, I'm
on the side of the city in Henrietta

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area that has BJS with the really
cheap gas. Yes, so I roll

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up the BJS where it's ja scutty
Boulevard. Yeah, it's three dollars and

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seven cents. And I go,
hey, and hang on a second.

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The police chief, the police chief
is walking in here. Esto, what's

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going on? Chief? Yeah,
we're live. Yeah, have a seat.

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You don't have a warrant out for
now. We're just talking about I

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was just talking about dropping my kid
off at the airport before because he was

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going back to his mom for the
holidays. So wait a second, So

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what is happening here? Worry You're
not you're out of uniform. You're in

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casuoard meeting. Well who is this? This is the police chief, Matt

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Barnes, Fairport Police Chief of Fairport. Fantastic. Yeah, so I was

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just talking about driving over and then
I saw it he was talking about.

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But let me ask you this because
you're a police I was. I was

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talking about BJ's, but not that
kind of BEJS. I mean, he

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sends you. So while I'm in
there's a line at this BJ's gas station

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in Henrietta because it's three dollars and
seven cents, and I decided that fucking

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I'll wait in the line. And
all of a sudden, I see a

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car trying to wedge into one of
the lines, and then the woman pops

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out of the car. She picks
up a giant traffic cone and drops it

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in front of the car in front
of her, and she starts screaming,

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you're not getting in this light,
you're not cutting in this line. Now

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she seems to be cutting this guy, So now I'm intrigued. I'm watching

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this. This guy gets out and
he's got a very thick Indian accent,

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and he starts saying that you don't
want to act this way, you don't

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want to be like this, and
he picks up the cone and puts it.

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She's screaming, you motherfucker. And
I'm going do people lose their minds

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more this time of year than any
other time of year? Or is this

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all the time that you guys are
dealing with this kind of shit because this

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could have escalated very easily. Like
just last night, we played a video

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of a road rage case, and
I think it was in Texas, where

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all of a sudden people, some
guys said, yeah, I saw this

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car speed up and one car throws
a nice tea at it. The other

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guy throws a big gulp. So
I whipped out my camera and you see

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a sedan take an suv up and
over a cement barrier and then they're out

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like swinging at each other. And
I go, I don't know if this

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which is different obviously now than it
was even ten years ago, let alone

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twenty years ago, But yeah,
I think people are I had an old

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time construction guy who used to help
me I dug my pie for me years

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ago, and he said, there's
nothing funnier in life than people. And

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I believe that. You know,
people are just humorous, so of all

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all ages and makes and models,
but it just seems to give. I

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don't know, maybe I'm seeing it
more now. They meant right here,

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right now, they can get it
on their phone, they can microwave it.

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I want it right now, and
if I don't get it right now,

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I'm blown agains. I'm in Walmart
over Thanksgiving week, right, it's

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like Black Friday or something, maybe
Saturday. My son wants to play basketball.

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We're gonna go over there and just
pick up a basketball. It's gonna

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be one of these throw away five
dollars basketball so you can get so you

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can shoot some hoops. And we're
in there and all of a sudden,

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we hear you're a fucking potato suck. This lady's losing her fucking mind over

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the potatoes. She's screaming. They're
chasing her out of the store, and

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she's fucking losing her shit in Walmart. And I go, what is happening?

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Older? Younger, uh, probably
in her forties, And I go,

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this is what you have to deal
with on a daily basis and be

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and keep that smile on that face. Or or she's leaving out this exit

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screaming and yelling and all the attentions
on her and her two friends are out.

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The other exit could be with a
bag of something they shouldn't have been

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making. That's an old one too, all right. That could be.

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I don't know. I just saw
like all the employees followed her out there.

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Was like, all these walla they
need their around. Some people need

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their fifteen minutes of fane. They
need some release to just yelling at the

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world. They have nobody yell at. My kid goes, let me,

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I gotta go film her. I
go, don't she's having a bad day,

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leave her be don't don't do this. Then he's like, later on,

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he goes, you got to see
some of these people in Walmart.

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There's a lady on a cart right
those shopping carts that the one of the

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one of the security guards is driving
it. Her hands are handcuffed behind her,

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and she's screaming, this is an
American? The fuck is happening?

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Seriously, what is happening? What
is the general topic tonight? Is that

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the topic of showing Well, you
came in. I didn't mean there were

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lots of things going on. I
just figured since she sat down, I'd

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ask you, are we still going
to do a Yes? We are all

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right, yep. First taping is
going to be December fifteenth, When of

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theirs is however long it takes you
a night at it that we'll get it

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all edited up. What are we
doing? We appreciate you doing. He

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wants to do a podcast about Fairport. I got to get you on a

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on a camera. Yeah, let
me see if I can get you over

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here there. I don't need to
be on camera. There are that's fine,

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perfectly good. Outside of the camera. They hide the faces so they

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everybody, No, they do not
know. Everybody knows Matt Barnes. I

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love them and they love the barn
The Barnes brothers law enforcement. How did

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two brothers end up in law enforcement? I was in the Service and I

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came home the army, army and
uh, my brother is a CAP.

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And I did a ride along with
them, okay, and when we see

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an officer here, and I'd be
wat and I did wasn't really sure what

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I wanted to do. I knew
I was getting out of the service and

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going to school, and so I
started going to school and then ended up

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taking the RPD examined up getting hired
by RPD, and then we both ended

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up coming out here. He left
last October, and I don't think I'm

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far behind. But we'll see,
Oh come, we'll see see how many,

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We'll see how long I want to
do this one? So I think

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I'm in my twenty. How's my
math? Twenty. I think I'm in

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my twenty sixty year now. Yeah, it's a long time to be in

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that kind of young man is well, it's just I would just think that

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after a while, don't. Can't
you retire after twenty years? Yeah?

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You can't? Yah? Yeah,
And I think there's there's a reason why

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is it? It probably is the
reason, not only just as somebody can

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put up with that much shit for
that long and see that. I mean

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most of the stuff you're dealing with
is people at their lowest moment in life.

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So it's funny. Years ago I
was working third between I bet this

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is ten twelve years ago, there
was a lady here locally and tonic summer

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night. We went to recall and
and she goes, you guys always go

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somewhere where there's something that went wrong. I said, yeah, I said,

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wild, Would people call n one? I said, no one's ever

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called r ice? No one's right, dude, can you come by the

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seventh let me get a bag of
ice? Said thirty pack. Dude will

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tip you. And she found that
amazing, And I go, man,

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I go, people don't call us
to tell us they're having a good night.

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I said. Second in great night
tonight, thanks so much. So

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like a year went by, that
was in the summer, nice night,

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A year went by that next summer. Just happened to be working that night

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too, And we get a nine
on one call shortly there after dinner,

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and uh, over the air,
the dispatcher said, you know such and

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such from such such a dress called
and just wanted to wish you a happy

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night, and that she had food
for you, a sweet as this,

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and over the air, I said, okay, you know Roger that and

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blah blah blah. So we just
found to the same house and she goes,

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you said you would never been to
a nine of one call that someone

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called your friending good. She bought
us dinosaur barbecue. Wow, they're really

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sweet, but she hearn her husband
called nine on one, Oh my god,

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to give us dinosaur barbecue. Myself
my partner editor picnic table, and

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we ate dinosaur barbecue was really nice. So I guess that's the only time

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I've ever called the Yeah, you
know, something went good, so very

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very seat. Yeah. How many
years has it been here in Fairport for

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00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,480
you? Twenty? Over twenty now
over twenty in Fairport? Yeah, yeah,

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So Doug was and I always find
this a bit of a mystery.

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00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,519
No, no, no, the
hornet went off. The horn that went

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00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,120
off, and I go, it's
so funny because as soon as it went

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00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:26,240
off, I go, hey,
lassie, a boy fell in the canal.

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But that's that was what alerted people
to an emergency. Yeah, they

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haven't gotten rid of it, almost
tradition at this point. It's loud,

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00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:41,360
it's loud. Yes, it's weird
something. And actually there was an ex

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00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,240
board member here named Don Ferro.
I don't know if you remember him,

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00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,679
and I have served down our village
board for a long time. He was

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00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:50,600
a city fireman. He was a
Rochester City fireman. He passed several years

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00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,240
ago, but he was the one
that kept this siren alive. And the

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sirens on top of the village hall
is obviously you heard. But the huge

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00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:01,759
air tanks that power that siren right
here in this garage right across from your

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00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:03,440
studio. Oh they are, yeah, And the air tanks are probably eight

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00:12:03,519 --> 00:12:07,759
or nine feet long by you know, four feet in diameter, and there's

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00:12:07,759 --> 00:12:09,080
two of them. So yeah,
yeah, they sit in that garage.

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And then how does it go off? Is it electronics? Somewhere? Someone

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there's electronic, but it is an
airhorn. There's still who decides that it's

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00:12:16,279 --> 00:12:20,559
going to go off, and the
name of one center activates that alarm by

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dispatching the fire services. Okay,
that's it every time. Well that's what

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I thought it was volunteer fire department. Oh that was the original reason,

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right, Yeah, you knew that
people would go and uh do that sort

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of thing. Stop pumping your wife
and there's a fire. I'll get there.

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Don't worry about it, Bobs.
I don't know if it should be

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on this podcast. Yeah, you
love you love this podcast right now.

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Currently seventy MVA's motor vehicle accidents waiting
to be responded to tonight because roads real

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eleven zero yeah, yeah, yeah, And I don't think that included parts

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of the west side of the county. So we think that it happens the

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first snow every year it does.
Why is that? Do I forget how

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to drive? Is it that slicker
than we thought? I'll tell you people

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are still driving like idiots. There's
no Curtis for Uber driver Uber seven hours

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a day and just go slower,
expected to be slippery with slippery coming on

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four ninety yeah five ninety. But
try to keep you know, good,

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fifty to one hundred feet back.
You know, break a little earlier,

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put your turn signal on. There's
people that aren't putting their lights on.

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I said this earlier. They're not
using their turn signals. Just gotta go

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a little slower. And if you're
walking a dog. And this happened in

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Irondequoit. This is white woman.
She dressed all in black or little dog.

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I barely saw her put on a
white T shirt. Put on some

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you know, go to the dollar
store, get some flashers. Just they

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have some common sense for crying out
loud. You no, I lived down

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in a lot. Okay, you
live in Charlotte, now, yeah,

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because that's why I just wonder I
had a right. No, you're here

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in Fairport. Fairport's probably the best
town in Rochester. Would you agree in

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metropolitan Rochester? Well it's well nothing, there's really no discussion. Well,

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since you since you cornered me and
I have to drive home to night,

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you already get my license plate number. Wait till you're retire to change my

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answer. What do you have?
You have? Nine one one out here?

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00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:24,120
For what a paper cut? She
knows they have a band aid for

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you know what else he did.
It's very nice down, don't get me

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00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,480
right. I wish we could do
some things in Chilatte. I think you

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have the festival lights out here too. I think it's probably a festival.

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Yeah, wee lit up, yes, where people aren't gonna be jackasses and

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jump up and rip the ship down. I mean that builds up a community.

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You feel safe for you. You
know your neighbor. You talk to

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your neighbor. I drive people home
in the summer Thurston Hudson, Clifford Clinton,

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and I'm like, oh, what
are you doing this summer? Nothing?

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00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,799
What do you mean nothing? I'm
staying in. I know my neighbors

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are out on bikes, are a
loud all My it's not nice. She

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goes, No, it's just the
way it is. There's no changing it.

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00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,360
Wow. Yeah, I feel awful. I was hoping this new mayor

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would do something, but I've seen
him planet a tree and open a library.

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That's about it. I hadn't seen
him on the news doing too much

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00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,879
more. You know, we're still
getting cars just being theft. I don't

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see him in the community. You
know, what can I do to I

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don't know you know, you need
somebody who's out there walking, I think.

245
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,440
So there was a guy that I
really liked, that I thought was

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00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,840
pretty good, and then he made
a terrible mistake. But he knew the

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city and he knew people, and
he said to me, in twenty years,

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the city's going to have a problem
because the kids are being raised by

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grandparents and they're gonna die. Yes, And he goes, you're gonna see

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00:15:41,919 --> 00:15:45,559
shit fall apart. And that was
Adam McFadden and Ada McFadden did something that

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a lot of people but I'll tell
you what, man, he and he

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00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:54,159
wasn't. I'll never forget when there
was this whole thing and Lovely Warn was

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00:15:54,279 --> 00:16:00,679
running for mayor, yeah, and
she was coming in. There was a

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00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:07,559
something that had happened in the news
where officer had all you saw was kind

255
00:16:07,559 --> 00:16:11,039
of smacked a woman upside the back
of her head, had her up against

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going and smacked her upside the back
of the head. And that was getting

257
00:16:14,279 --> 00:16:15,240
all this stuff, and I go, man, I feel like there's more

258
00:16:15,279 --> 00:16:18,240
to this. And Adam heard me, and he goes, I have other

259
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,960
video from another angle, and you
see the woman reach back. You don't

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00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,440
know if she's reaching for the guy's
gun or he's reaching for his balls.

261
00:16:25,759 --> 00:16:29,600
But he just kind of just quick, right. But that became the news

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00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,919
that it was a white officer and
black woman, and that was the thing.

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00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,159
But it was Adam McFadden who came
and goes, hold on here,

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00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:38,080
let's look at this for what.
And I always thought he knew man.

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He knew the good guys, the
bad guys, the drug he knew everything

266
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in that city. He used to
walk the streets. I mean, I

267
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:49,320
remember when that woman went out to
defend her kid on Dewey and went up

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dead. That just got beat up
by bunch. And he went and talked

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to all the people in the neighborhood
and some people were afraid to say anything

270
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:59,759
of you know, of course,
yeah that's the thing. But he was

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00:16:59,799 --> 00:17:02,679
the kind of guy because I used
to say, man, you you should

272
00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,839
be mayor somebody who's going to kind
of get in the trenches. And I

273
00:17:06,319 --> 00:17:08,200
know nothing about the job. I'll
be willing to do that. We don't

274
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:14,039
see that real quick. Speaking of
trenches, he did the Baja Races down

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00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:18,480
in Mexico with's a border of the
Baja and you got it. Him and

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00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:22,799
Sheriff Baxter. Yeah, yeah,
actually just came back from Baija last week.

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00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:25,799
You did. Yeah. So two
weeks ago, I got a call

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00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,240
from a team out there that I
know, and it was nothing Tuesday night,

279
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,279
like at midnight, and he actually
called me. Ignored the call.

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Then he texted me called me asap, so I figured something was wrong with

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00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:37,920
one of his loved ones. So
I called him. I sself, what's

282
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,079
up and he was, Hey,
one of our guys just broke his ribs

283
00:17:41,079 --> 00:17:42,359
today and he can't get in the
truck. He gues, do you want

284
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,519
to fly out here and do the
one thousand? And I'm like, isn't

285
00:17:45,559 --> 00:17:48,240
that like next week? And he
goes yeah, And I said when do

286
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:52,680
I have to be there by?
And he said Thursday morning and he goes

287
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,759
to trust leaving that's like Thanksgiving morning, that's twenty four hours from now.

288
00:17:57,079 --> 00:18:00,359
I got a job, and he
goes, if you can make it,

289
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,720
he goes, you can be in
trophy truck eighty six and I'm like me

290
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:06,559
calling you in the morning. So
got the time off, bought a flight,

291
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:10,119
flew out there, and then I
was heading to Baha within twenty four

292
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,000
hours. This is over the desert
and the bumps and everything. Yeah,

293
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,039
so you did this? Just just
got back. Yes, I had a

294
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,640
chance to go with the team from
two San Arizona and San Diego, California,

295
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,720
and it was in a trophy truck
and they had we had everything,

296
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,480
I mean everything you can think of. We had a helicopter, we had

297
00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:29,880
four pre runners, we had four
chase trucks, we had everything. We

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00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,640
had starlink capabilities, everything. So
pretty pretty wild. How'd you do?

299
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:38,839
So? Myself and my partner did
race Moult two hundred to Racemouth six hundred.

300
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:45,720
Yeah. And basically so it's like
a almost like a uh team takes

301
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:48,720
over. Yeah. So this year's
bajam On thousand was the longest Baha one

302
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,920
thousand ever. It was thirteen hundred
and ten miles or whatever. And they

303
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,079
started in a town called La Paz
and they went north to a town called

304
00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,440
Senata and Sanada. I hear that's
a lot like Fairport just south of Tijuana.

305
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:06,240
The world's most dangerous Tijuana is more
like Charlotte. I mean, homicides

306
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:10,160
are in Tijuana one year's time.
No, I think like a couple years

307
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,680
ago, there's twenty seven hundred.
Whoa in a year. I think it's

308
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,480
the world's most dangerous. What are
we complaining about around here? What's gone?

309
00:19:15,559 --> 00:19:18,880
I know, I'm that vacation in
Tijuana. Yeah, no, that's

310
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,640
just south of the border itself.
Wow. Yeah. So we went down

311
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,839
in New Mexico and uh had a
good time. Just long days, you

312
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,559
know what I mean. Yeah,
you going six hundred miles we did.

313
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,680
We went four hundred on my section, okay. Four truck owner took it

314
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:37,480
from you know, the start up
through a place called the Steps out of

315
00:19:37,519 --> 00:19:40,599
the Pass and gave it to us
in a town called Insurentes, Okay.

316
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:45,160
And then we took it from Insurentes
to a town called Viscayano just south of

317
00:19:45,279 --> 00:19:48,359
There's two states in Northe and Baja
Sewer. Yeah, so basically about North

318
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,440
and Baja South. We we drove
in the Baja South portion he like the

319
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:56,240
Mason Dixon line. Okay, So
we drove down south. But good time,

320
00:19:56,759 --> 00:20:00,240
rough, just good opportunity. But
yeah, so Backster and I were

321
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:03,119
together to day. We were talking
about, you know, maybe next year,

322
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,079
so we'll see what we gotta get
sponsors. That's the big thing.

323
00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:08,920
You know. That race is not
cheap and it's a it's a year in

324
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,720
the making, so you have to
start some time in January to be prepared

325
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,440
by November. And there's so much
more to it than just money. But

326
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,240
yeah, it takes money too.
So yeah, see if we can get

327
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,160
some sponsors. But the fact that
you stood out to somebody that they will

328
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,920
call you stupid enough to say because
of great he's a great drive or anything

329
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:33,119
he brings the air bags. Yeah, sure, note that's funny. Yeah,

330
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:36,440
good, good time. So that's
what we just got done doing,

331
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:37,799
very good. What else are we
discussing? Are we out out of time?

332
00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:41,480
We're going to take a short break
and then we'll come back. You

333
00:20:41,519 --> 00:20:44,079
want to hang I'm probably gonna go
home and eat dinner, all right.

334
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,839
Well, yeah, it's a good
scene you get No, you are the

335
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:51,880
party. You are. You're the
chief of police of Fairport Man. Come

336
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,519
on, that's awesome, fantastic to
meet you and thank you for your service.

337
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,920
When are you moving out here?
You got a place in your basement?

338
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,440
Are you off the air? No? No, no there, yeah,

339
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,759
but you got in handcuffs a way
I should say. I'm joking.

340
00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:11,720
Doug fell in love over Thanksgiving on
Thanksgiving and we'll get to that next.

341
00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:15,480
But first Comedy at the Carlson welcomes
the extremely funny Rich Ironovitch this weekend.

342
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:19,200
Will be there Thursday night at seven
thirty and then two shows Friday and Saturday

343
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,839
night seven and nine, both nights. Rich he saw my mom topless.

344
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,720
He may not remember that. And
I saw him years before that. I'm

345
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,200
walking through Soho on a Tuesday night
and people were going, hey, free

346
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:33,680
comedy show, free comedy show.
I go in and there was a writer

347
00:21:33,799 --> 00:21:37,720
from the Chris Rock Show when he
had that HBO show. And then Rich

348
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,279
Ironovitch got up and it was about
fifteen people and he killed and I go,

349
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,839
that guy's got it. Go see
him this weekend Thursday, two shows,

350
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,480
Friday, two shows Saturday. Lock
those tickets down for the extremely funny

351
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:55,400
Rich Ironovitch at Carlsoncomedy dot com.
Caylestone on mein dot com. Full sending

352
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,160
Skiing Outdoors Chief Executive Officer, Zach
Hallett. You know, your skis,

353
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,319
your snowboards, everything needs to be
serviced every year. It's very important to

354
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:08,000
get that stuff done before the season
because when the snowfalls, everybody wants to

355
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,160
get out there. You don't want
to be put on a delay. Full

356
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:15,279
send Skan Outdoor Kenned Dake. When
the snowfalls, we want you out there

357
00:22:15,319 --> 00:22:18,559
and enjoin the sport, so we
make sure that we have a three to

358
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:22,920
five day turn around. Full Send
skin Outdoor Kenned Dick was we don't want

359
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:29,599
to make people wait. Jimmy Z's
Plates and Shakes celebrating twenty years main Street

360
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,799
Brockport Plates and Shakes dot Com BTV
would fire peach and grill in the mall

361
00:22:33,839 --> 00:22:37,720
at Grease Ridge. You know there's
only a couple of days left to take

362
00:22:37,759 --> 00:22:42,160
advantage of the great November specials.
Last night I had the pb J Burger

363
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,759
and I loved it to half pound
burger, jollapeno grape jam, peanut butter

364
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:52,880
cream cheese which I didn't even know
existed, lettuce, tomato, onion,

365
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:57,079
and served with fries. I actually
had mine with the chips. You can

366
00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:02,640
have either but delicious. And here's
the thing. Maybe you go, wow,

367
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:07,359
I'm really not into hot stuff.
It's perfect that jolapeno grape jam.

368
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:14,000
It's that sweet and spicy, but
not overly spicy. It is maybe the

369
00:23:14,039 --> 00:23:17,720
best burger I've ever had, and
I love I've put panu butter on burs

370
00:23:17,839 --> 00:23:22,920
before and grab that Rattlesnake rab while
you can. It's Nashville Chicken, Jlopanios

371
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,759
tomatoes, bacon, provolone, spinach, a oli and that served with fries.

372
00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:30,279
And don't forget the draft of the
month Roebox Vanilla Porter. It's our

373
00:23:30,279 --> 00:23:34,319
friends over at Rollbox Brewing Company,
Rochester's original craft brewery. Or you can

374
00:23:34,319 --> 00:23:38,920
try in Angry Balls Bottle of Angry
Orchard with a side car of fireball.

375
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,599
And of course it's a great place
to see the game with over fifty TVs.

376
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:47,400
No matter the game, it's on
at bTB wood Fire Pizza and Grill

377
00:23:47,559 --> 00:24:00,559
in the mall like Greese Ridge.
The music tumbled out of the kids,

378
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,720
but with myself a cup of ambition. Oh man, in fact that she

379
00:24:03,759 --> 00:24:07,839
can fucking sick this. Oh my
absolutely. Let me tell you the rest

380
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:11,960
of So. I saw that fight
at the gas station. Then I get

381
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:17,559
home. Now my colon's going bad. Okay, I release a little thinking

382
00:24:17,559 --> 00:24:22,599
I'm good. I get home,
unload, I look down and I have

383
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,920
a dollar in my underwear in the
shape of a Hershey kiss. And you

384
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:33,680
know what I thought of. There's
no fucking way that Dolly Park Thois thanks

385
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:41,319
to the ad de Gray for that
halftime show Thanksgiving. She look good.

386
00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:45,079
She did a hell of a job. She looked like she was on a

387
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:51,920
fucking boat. She was like all
wobbly holding on for she looked like she

388
00:24:52,039 --> 00:24:56,480
was seven years old. Show high
seasick up there. I dropped my pants

389
00:24:56,519 --> 00:25:00,240
and rubbed off right there in her
her. Granted, I'm not allowed back

390
00:25:00,279 --> 00:25:03,640
to my sisters for Christmas dinner.
But man's got to do what a man's

391
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:10,960
gotta do. I go, man, they need to have spank sponsored.

392
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,079
Oh. I was down at the
my buddy's bar, you'd open up for

393
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,759
some friends, and she came out
and I'm looking at this smile, and

394
00:25:19,759 --> 00:25:23,400
my Buddy's like, Doggie, what's
you in a New York minute, That's

395
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,640
the dumbest question I gotta say,
because Dolly Parton has been asked to do

396
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:32,359
the halftime show for the Super Bowl
a couple yeah, a couple of times,

397
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:34,480
and she's turned it down all the
time. And she said she turned

398
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,640
it down because she either had something
going on or she didn't think she was

399
00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:42,960
big enough star to do it.
And she said it's such a big production.

400
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,599
Well, I think that was a
huge production that was the biggest production

401
00:25:47,799 --> 00:25:52,000
ever at at and T Stadium for
a halftime show. Yes, yeah,

402
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:53,640
I think the biggest. Yes,
well, yeah, let's put it that

403
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,839
way, because I don't know what
other concerts have been there. That's true,

404
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,519
right, So yeah, but definitely
I don't even know. I know

405
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:03,720
she's say I know that because finally
my friends told me to shut the hell

406
00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:06,799
up after I kept singing it during
the forty nine game. We get it

407
00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:11,920
first down, I'm like, Joline, Jolie, Jolie the Doug, shut

408
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:17,519
the fuck up and just damn it
beer. She's saying nine to five,

409
00:26:17,599 --> 00:26:19,720
and then I don't remember the other
couple of tunes that I don't know what's

410
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,960
for. We were at dinner,
so this happened a couple of years ago.

411
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:30,240
I'll get my father in on this. So we're playing cards, my

412
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,319
father, stepmother, Kathy's wife,
and it's the three of us, and

413
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:44,160
she goes Alexa play Christmas music and
comes on Dolly Parton. Maybe I'll dye

414
00:26:44,319 --> 00:26:49,359
my hair, maybe I'll go somewhere
me I'll be just fine and dandy.

415
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:53,119
And I'm listening to this and I
and I'm looking at my cards. I

416
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,920
slowly raised my head and I look
at him. I go, you do

417
00:26:57,079 --> 00:27:02,839
know this song was in the movie
with Bert Reynolds, The Best Little Whorehouse

418
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,960
in Texas. So now when I
go for Christmas, I'm like, hey,

419
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:15,079
horror music for Christmas. It's gonna
be a whole Christmas. Oh my

420
00:27:15,279 --> 00:27:18,039
gosh. Yeah, I forgot about
that. I added to this woman though

421
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:26,319
I mean quietly, always positive,
stayed apolitical when many can't. Dollywood,

422
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,240
I've heard nothing but great things about
Dollywood. Nothing but great things. Yes,

423
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,839
seriously, very down to earth with
a country girl. Yeah, you

424
00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:37,519
know, great career legend, I
would say, in the country, I

425
00:27:37,519 --> 00:27:41,119
will tell you want to doubt a
legend. One of my favorite songs.

426
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,759
Since we're talking about Dolly Parton night, Oh, I wrote a song I

427
00:27:42,759 --> 00:27:47,920
remember. I told you. Yeah, Stephanie your old host part host.

428
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:48,720
She says, so, hang on, hang on, she's not old.

429
00:27:48,799 --> 00:27:52,000
She still comes around. Okay,
I just I don't know. So when

430
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,440
she would break up with a guy, she would write songs. She would

431
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,359
write a song. No, not
break up, she would be with the

432
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,160
guy with the guy, and she
would write a song for the guy,

433
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,759
which I thought was fucking weird.
Well, I wrote a song for Dolly.

434
00:28:03,839 --> 00:28:07,720
They usually ended up with a breakup. Okay, well you'll get arrested

435
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,559
if you released this. No,
it's only a couple of lyrics already.

436
00:28:10,599 --> 00:28:12,279
Yeah, I would love to hear. Do you need accompaniment with? No?

437
00:28:12,279 --> 00:28:15,839
No, No, it's just it's
just a like a white man rap,

438
00:28:15,039 --> 00:28:19,200
Yeah, something like that. She
was a country girl with country style.

439
00:28:19,319 --> 00:28:23,359
She had country eyes in a big
country smile. Oh yeah, she

440
00:28:23,799 --> 00:28:29,119
was a beauty. Now I hate
Dell, I hate the Cowboys, and

441
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,480
I hate Dallas. But after that
halftime show was started taking sea Alie.

442
00:28:32,519 --> 00:28:38,519
Oh yeah, brown chicken, brown
cow. That's what you do. You

443
00:28:38,519 --> 00:28:41,799
know what you get when you cross
a brown chicken and brown cow? What

444
00:28:41,799 --> 00:28:47,039
do you get? Brown chicken,
brown cow. I don't think I'm gonna

445
00:28:47,039 --> 00:28:48,839
wear any win any Grammys. I
might get it. I might get a

446
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:53,640
granny for my grammy. You might
so, since I knew this was a

447
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,920
deal for you. Her birthday is
in January, Coach met how do you

448
00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:00,480
know this? Why do you know
this? Don't tell me that you spend

449
00:29:00,559 --> 00:29:03,839
so much time. Somebody wikipedia it. When we were they did, nobody

450
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,279
named Doug. No, they said, how old you think I go seventy

451
00:29:07,319 --> 00:29:10,640
seven. Yeah, and like Dougie
right, I'm like, of course,

452
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,759
I'm right. How can you tell
you count the rings arounder? Areola?

453
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:23,119
Both of them? They by pie
three point four? You know? I

454
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:27,799
had then that night there's a website
called sixty and me dot com, and

455
00:29:27,839 --> 00:29:33,880
I had the list of what they
call beautiful celebrity women over sixty. Let's

456
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:37,599
let's see if you agree with some
of these. Okay. Jane Fonda,

457
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,279
Oh yeah, legend. Now I
folloween legend she is, She's a legend.

458
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,680
I don't know if I ever found
Jane. Did you ever see trading

459
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:49,119
places? Yeah? Oh yeah,
yeah, eighty But now now she's eighty

460
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,240
five years old. Now she looks
great. She looks great. But when

461
00:29:52,279 --> 00:29:56,920
I saw eighty five, I went, whoa Jane Seymour, Oh smoking hot,

462
00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:02,119
James John girl, doctor Quinn.
She was just in wedding crashes,

463
00:30:02,799 --> 00:30:04,880
like twenty years ago. Now I
think she's kept in good shape. Or

464
00:30:06,039 --> 00:30:11,480
she's seventy two aged wonderfully. I
look at Jane Fonda and I saw when

465
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,279
I was looking this up, I
went to you could go to her Instagram

466
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,319
page and I looked at her,
and I go, she's just radiant.

467
00:30:15,359 --> 00:30:19,799
She just she smiles. She's one
of these people that is probably as nice

468
00:30:19,799 --> 00:30:23,359
as she looks. She is equally
as nice as a radian is a great

469
00:30:23,359 --> 00:30:33,000
word for older women, is trouble. Alluring is alluring? Yes, you're

470
00:30:33,119 --> 00:30:37,079
very alluring. Somebody could be hot, yeah early, and then they fizzle

471
00:30:37,119 --> 00:30:40,559
out, but you can stay alluring. Well, here's the long here's the

472
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:45,319
problem. And society is a problem. Yeah. Oh, society is bad

473
00:30:45,359 --> 00:30:48,720
because there's a lot of power and
good looks. Right, talk to any

474
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:52,200
hot chicken high school. She didn't
really have to work for much right in

475
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:56,240
life, she didn't like even even
the gym teacher. They're just passing you.

476
00:30:56,519 --> 00:30:57,480
They saw you in your shorts and
that was it. You didn't have

477
00:30:57,559 --> 00:31:03,079
to do a fucking thing. Then
it goes away, and what happens is

478
00:31:03,079 --> 00:31:04,920
you sort of get disregarded, You
sort of get pushed to the side.

479
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:10,880
And if you talk to women over
a certain age, I don't know what

480
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,400
the line of demarcation is, but
let's say it's between fifteen and fifty five,

481
00:31:14,759 --> 00:31:18,680
they'll say they're invisible in society.
Oh, if you want to see

482
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,200
some really hard times, which I
go talk to some old strippers I used

483
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,880
to work for. Yeah, and
once they start going, that's a sad

484
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,039
thing because I was in the business
for sixteen years. Yeah, seeing when

485
00:31:30,039 --> 00:31:33,319
they start out and they're crying in
the back room, they're not making any

486
00:31:33,319 --> 00:31:34,880
money. And then give them a
few months now they're the young girl.

487
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,559
Then they get the feet wet.
They go a couple of years. Now

488
00:31:37,559 --> 00:31:41,759
they're raking in all the money.
And a few years after that then they

489
00:31:41,759 --> 00:31:44,920
have another young girl coming in.
Nobody's looking at them. Then they go

490
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,920
for the plax surgery, they get
the fake boobs, they're getting collegen and

491
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:53,160
they're Muhammad Ali roping open on the
uh in the back room. It's a

492
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:59,160
bad thing because and it is this
thing where like we want to look younger,

493
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,559
be younger, feel younger. And
I don't know if this is true

494
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,279
or not. I don't know if
I'm of a certain age and live in

495
00:32:05,279 --> 00:32:09,480
a certain world. My perspective fifty
two fifty two. My perspective is that

496
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:19,039
I see women who I've always seen
in movies and stuff still making movies.

497
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,559
Selma Hayak is still in leading roles
and she's fifty seven years old. I

498
00:32:22,559 --> 00:32:28,440
don't think that was happening thirty years
ago, forty years ago. Yeah,

499
00:32:28,559 --> 00:32:30,920
going back in the eighties, I
don't remember women in their late fifties having

500
00:32:31,039 --> 00:32:38,160
leading roles. Sigourney Weaver's now,
well she's aliens, yeah, but she

501
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,799
was like in her thirties. I
don't think so. I mean that's another

502
00:32:40,839 --> 00:32:46,319
thirty years ago. Yeah, so
know how she used today? Meryl Streep

503
00:32:46,359 --> 00:32:51,559
they have on there, She's all
right, she's okay. Yeah. Oprah

504
00:32:51,759 --> 00:32:54,079
who actually, at times i've seen
Oprah. That woman can look amazing,

505
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:57,680
depends on her weight loss, and
I haven't seen her in a long time.

506
00:32:57,799 --> 00:33:02,240
Sixty nine a mon Aman, Yeah, the model she was with David

507
00:33:02,279 --> 00:33:07,799
Bowie. She's sixty eight. She
looks incredible, okay. Elizabeth Hurley,

508
00:33:07,559 --> 00:33:13,680
she still looks great. Sixty eight, sixty eight, Yes, Diane Lane

509
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:15,920
one of my all powers. Gosh, yeah, I love Diane Lane.

510
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:20,240
She's been in the business a long
time. You ever see her in Unfaithful?

511
00:33:20,599 --> 00:33:23,240
Yeah? I mean I only watched
that five minutes, like twenty three

512
00:33:23,279 --> 00:33:30,799
times, but I thought that was
some hell of an acting. She's fifty

513
00:33:30,839 --> 00:33:35,079
eight years old. She was married
to uh, gosh, I can't think

514
00:33:35,079 --> 00:33:39,079
of his name. He was the
voice of Thanos. But yeah, she

515
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,119
is a good looking woman. Is
she depending on makeup? And I just

516
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,480
heard this on the radio today that
Jennifer Lawrence has been asked a bunch lately

517
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:51,000
about having plastic surgery? Really and
she says she denies this, says,

518
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,119
no, I have a new makeup
artist that could be and he's just changed

519
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,480
the way that he does things.
And they say a lot of it to

520
00:33:55,559 --> 00:34:01,079
makeup because Diane Lane and unfaithful looked
ononderful hot girl next door or whatever.

521
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:06,279
Yeah, and then she was the
mother of Clark Kent. Yeah, Justice

522
00:34:06,359 --> 00:34:09,480
League. But they added, you
know, makeup, makeup. Makeup can

523
00:34:09,519 --> 00:34:13,960
make you look old if they do
it right. Yeah, yeah I could.

524
00:34:14,079 --> 00:34:15,320
I mean, I don't need makeup
to make me look good. I

525
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:20,400
need somebody to drink fifteen shots or
that's how I get to look better.

526
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:25,960
Do you want another sharp and ey
honey? Yeah? What's your pickup?

527
00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:30,079
If you see a woman in the
bar? What's my pickup? When I

528
00:34:30,079 --> 00:34:32,519
don't go to bars and pick up
with him anymore, I go to the

529
00:34:32,559 --> 00:34:37,000
dollar store. I figure, if
we're on the same budget, you know,

530
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:39,840
something's got to happen. Is that
what your walking stick down? Or

531
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,679
you're happy to say me. I
go up and down the roads and you

532
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,840
know, I look for somebody with
a cart and I'm like, hey,

533
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:49,679
baby, you can need that pack
of boloneya by yourself. You know what

534
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,079
I always wonder too is remember the
movie American Pie. Yes, I always

535
00:34:52,119 --> 00:34:59,480
wonder if after that did more moms
get hit on, because in that movie,

536
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,679
it's stiff and it's with Yeah.
I think there was a well you

537
00:35:02,679 --> 00:35:07,519
can say the graduate as well,
but which is going back into graduate was

538
00:35:07,559 --> 00:35:10,079
way too far. I think there
was some older women that I don't remember

539
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:15,079
moms being the focus though, like
that became. I mean there was a

540
00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:17,360
few years Diffler's Mom. Yeah,
within fifteen to twenty years, there was

541
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:23,159
something that changed where moms were sexually. The second sexiness was lasting longer,

542
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:27,960
and to be honest, and it's
almost like they're cutting shit. Well,

543
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,599
there was a thing called the mom
cut, the mom jeans the mom when

544
00:35:31,639 --> 00:35:36,679
did you still the term milf came
out. I think that came out with

545
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,280
American Pie. I don't know why. I thought that was where I first

546
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,400
heard it, maybe somewhere around there, but that was also thirty years ago.

547
00:35:42,679 --> 00:35:45,760
That was I bet that was two
thousand and two. They came out.

548
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:51,920
It's not that thirty twenty one,
twenty one, yeah, all right,

549
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,760
it's twenty twenty three, and math
is okay, it's going on otay,

550
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,280
all right. I don't want to
be that fucking at all. I'm

551
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,639
waiting for the next hot milk.
I mean, uh actra I didn't have

552
00:36:00,679 --> 00:36:06,280
any other ones. I just that
was Katherin Hepperd on that list. So

553
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,239
Phila Ren's still kicking it. That's
too old now. See that's the thing.

554
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:14,840
Is it a certain point? I
think the older you get, the

555
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,000
less you're like, okay, let's
let's just connect. Maybe I think that

556
00:36:17,159 --> 00:36:21,320
there's so many dating sites out there, you're just waiting for the bigger,

557
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:24,639
better thing instead of in that settling
but making things kind of work out,

558
00:36:24,679 --> 00:36:29,559
and like, okay, she or
he is seven out of ten things I

559
00:36:29,679 --> 00:36:31,440
want, and you know, I
gotta fucking I'll wait for somebody to be

560
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:36,280
ten out of ten and it's not
gonna happen. My parents are in their

561
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:42,239
later seventies. My mom has a
friend she went to college with who got

562
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:46,880
remarried. Husband died and she got
remarried. My father. I want to

563
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:53,800
do that, but some people just
like that companionship and like having a married

564
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:58,440
life and life saying this is my
husband, and you know they would want

565
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:01,360
me to be happy the previous one, and you know whatever. But I

566
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:06,400
saw this today on the internet and
I grabbed it just because it was one

567
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:07,559
of these things I go, I
don't know if I'll ever use this or

568
00:37:07,599 --> 00:37:13,599
not. It's a ninety three year
old guy, and it's a young guy,

569
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,239
well maybe younger. No, no, no, there's like a twenty

570
00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:20,920
one year old kid interviewing this guy
on a park bench and the kid is

571
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:23,119
almost speechless at one point. But
this is what he says, What's been

572
00:37:23,159 --> 00:37:27,760
the most memorable time period of your
life? Okay, so what must been

573
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,719
the most memorable time period of your
life? So this guy has lived and

574
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,599
you'll find out. And here he
says, his age ninety three, it's

575
00:37:34,639 --> 00:37:37,440
a long time, a lot of
memories to go through, a lot of

576
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,079
great things, probably a lot of
disappointing things. It's life. There's upstairs

577
00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:44,280
downs. What do you think his
answer is. I can tell by the

578
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,480
one second he's going to say,
being married. That would be my guess.

579
00:37:49,599 --> 00:37:52,599
Married to my wife for fifty one
year. I'll never forget her.

580
00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:55,239
We were a perfect couple and enjoyed
it, stay together. And when I

581
00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:00,159
lost her, I lost my life. So I'm just existing now. I

582
00:38:00,199 --> 00:38:04,039
lost her. I lost my life. I don't know if the guy's got

583
00:38:04,079 --> 00:38:08,599
Alzheimer's and he's not remembering things clearly, but I would say that we're all

584
00:38:08,679 --> 00:38:14,559
joking aside, all shitty jokes aside. Probably one of the most important decisions.

585
00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:17,159
And I should be careful even saying, this is the person you choose

586
00:38:17,199 --> 00:38:22,119
to be your partner, because it
can extend your life or it can shorten

587
00:38:22,159 --> 00:38:25,159
your life. Yeah, I really
think, right, I go and join

588
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:29,559
her. And I'm ninety three years
old, so I don't have much time

589
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,360
left. I'm sure this kid just
say he doesn't know what to say.

590
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:36,039
The kid's sitting next to him,
just sitting there. Oh. Do you

591
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:38,840
know what, If you're lucky,
you'll find a woman like I did.

592
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:44,519
I'll never argue, never fight,
never do anything against sue, and she'll

593
00:38:44,559 --> 00:38:45,880
love you and you'll love her in
the rest of your life too. That's

594
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:50,320
all you can ask for is a
good partner. Yeah, never argue,

595
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:54,039
never fight. There's been I mean
I have. I grew up in a

596
00:38:54,199 --> 00:39:00,480
very loud, Irish Catholic family.
We're screaming and yelling when I it's part

597
00:39:00,519 --> 00:39:02,840
of the part of the love.
And I found out later on when I

598
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:07,599
went to college, especially that there
are kids who I went to school with.

599
00:39:07,639 --> 00:39:10,719
There are people I don't today never
heard their parents argue never I go

600
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,920
what I go, how's that?
How's that? Even? Fuck about?

601
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,760
How's that? I tape recorded my
parents arguing, was playing it back and

602
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,400
laughing my ass off. My father
came in the room, took the tape

603
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:27,679
out and stomped on it. No
evidence. No, I think you are

604
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,199
very lucky. And it doesn't happen
with everybody. No, you know that.

605
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,679
I mean, that's it's amazing.
It was like a sweet thing,

606
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:36,239
right, you know, and then
it's very sweet those I played with that

607
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,880
for you because I just want you
know, there's still hope. There is

608
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,639
still hope. If I meet a
girl tomorrow, maybe your name's Hope,

609
00:39:40,639 --> 00:39:44,840
but maybe it is. I'd be
fifty three and a half, maybe marrier

610
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:50,840
fifty five, fifty six, twenty
years together, seventy six. Hopefully she's

611
00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:57,360
rich ninety three. Wow. And
it was sad. You see this guy

612
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,880
and he looked like he was in
great shape, you know, obviously moving

613
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,719
around. He's in a park,
he's fully dressed, groomed well, obviously

614
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,239
taking care of himself. I don't
know anything if he's an insisted living or

615
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,480
on his own. Where was that
off of Uh? It was just off

616
00:40:10,519 --> 00:40:15,920
of Instagram, and it was on
something called Don't Laugh at Me success Addicts.

617
00:40:17,079 --> 00:40:21,199
I follow something called success Addicts,
and every once in a while they

618
00:40:21,199 --> 00:40:22,679
put up these sort of wisdom things. I need wisdom in my life.

619
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:25,519
I don't have many people around,
so I have to do that. And

620
00:40:27,119 --> 00:40:30,159
I'm kidding. I just I found
it interesting. I find a lot of

621
00:40:30,199 --> 00:40:34,039
that. I don't have post him. I have a show. That's it

622
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,280
all right? Who else is on
the list though, Diane? That was

623
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,440
it? That was the only ones
I pulled off that list? They had

624
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:44,360
Anne Curry? Do you remember her
from the Today Show and courage? Her?

625
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,119
Fifty attractive? I had forgotten better, and I actually didn't only didn't

626
00:40:47,119 --> 00:40:51,280
mention her because I don't think many
people may remember her. She was on

627
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:52,719
the Today Show for many years.
She did. I just know from working

628
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:55,360
with so many women though, and
I get joked about, I don't know

629
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:59,159
what my thing is with older women
or why they connect with me. But

630
00:40:59,199 --> 00:41:04,320
I see somebody and I have worked
with some the hottest women that you would

631
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,159
like, oh my gosh, you
worked with her, you know, drop

632
00:41:06,199 --> 00:41:07,960
dead stripper, gorgeous. Yeah,
and then you're around them and you're just

633
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:12,920
like, you couldn't stand being next
to them with how they were demeaning and

634
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,280
there how they held themselves and the
way they talked or swore. And then

635
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:20,000
you see, you know, you
meet somebody out and there they're they're bubbly,

636
00:41:20,119 --> 00:41:22,280
they're they're joyful, they have such
a positive attitude, and you're like,

637
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:27,119
oh my gosh, this is awesome, and it just brings out her

638
00:41:27,159 --> 00:41:30,840
beauty and makes the other person look
so well, well, it's so funny

639
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,199
you say that, because I was
thinking, like, how many times have

640
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,800
we met somebody that you thought or
you looked at someone well it was not

641
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,440
not necessarily a stripper. But let's
say you're with a bunch of friends,

642
00:41:40,519 --> 00:41:45,280
you see somebody or whatever, no, no, but and you see this

643
00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:49,400
person, Wow, how attractive,
And then you spend five minutes you go,

644
00:41:49,559 --> 00:41:52,960
what a awful person? Say whatever, bitch, gosh damn. Yeah,

645
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:57,800
And then have you ever met though
somebody who defies that. You see

646
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,719
them and you think they're beautiful,
like there's pretty, and then there's beautiful.

647
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:04,480
To me, there's something. It's
one level up. And then you

648
00:42:04,519 --> 00:42:08,920
meet them and you get to know
them and they're kind and they're fun and

649
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:14,119
they're funny, and you go,
holy ship, like that is the past.

650
00:42:14,159 --> 00:42:16,320
The package. That's the package.
That's the package. If I can

651
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,960
make her laugh, I can make
her snort, you know ye laughing so

652
00:42:20,039 --> 00:42:24,159
hard. Yes, that's her laughing
so hard that she snorts and farts.

653
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:30,159
No, not far, Why just
a little bit by action. It's just

654
00:42:30,199 --> 00:42:34,000
a wind, Doug. It's like
a it's a wind, not win,

655
00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:37,320
a wind. If you can make
her sound like a party favorite, both

656
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,599
ends, you are as all I'm
saying, Doug. So I'm trying to

657
00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:45,280
tell you no, I'm not telling
you that joke anymore. All Right.

658
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:51,880
I found research. It's called Change
Research. It's the name of the organization

659
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:57,639
that did this, and it's red
flags on dating ser red flags for people

660
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,960
dating. So I'll ask you,
are the some red flags for you dating?

661
00:43:01,079 --> 00:43:04,119
Okay? All right, we'll take
a break, we'll come back,

662
00:43:04,199 --> 00:43:07,280
we'll find out and you know what, I'll even open up the phone lines

663
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,760
five eight five two o six eighty
eight sixty six. Say that again,

664
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:16,199
nice and slow five eight five two
zero six eighty eight sixty six. There

665
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:20,880
you go. We'll open that up
and Doug is here if you want to

666
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,480
chat with him, ladies, and
we'll see if these are any of the

667
00:43:23,639 --> 00:43:32,280
especially if you had a rotary phone
you're in. We should call miss Kleo

668
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:37,679
and find out if he's gonna get
anybody to go in. F O you

669
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:45,079
there, fo, I need,
I need Rochester five the hey dollly We'll

670
00:43:45,119 --> 00:43:49,559
take a moment. We'll get to
that next. But first, Iron Smoke

671
00:43:49,599 --> 00:43:55,599
Distillery made my family's Thanksgiving just a
little tastier with their rattlesnake rosies, chocolate

672
00:43:55,639 --> 00:44:00,039
peanut butter pie so good. Loved
adding it to the coffee in the morning,

673
00:44:00,519 --> 00:44:05,679
having a little sip in the afternoon
after dinner, dessert, the whole

674
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:09,400
thing just great. Go get I
mean, they've got apple pie and pumpkin

675
00:44:09,519 --> 00:44:15,199
pie and chuck a bye. It's
fantastic. Everything they do at Iron Smoke

676
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:19,079
Distillery is top notch, and it's
just not me saying that. Forbes Magazine

677
00:44:19,159 --> 00:44:22,079
says one of the ten best bourbons
outside Kentucky. Yeah, so go to

678
00:44:22,119 --> 00:44:27,840
the website Ironsmokedistillery dot com, order
yours and then get into the distillery and

679
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:32,239
enjoy some great music. Tonight you
have another vice the band. I love

680
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:37,159
that name, another vice. They're
gonna be playing kick ass rock and country

681
00:44:37,199 --> 00:44:40,679
tunes and then tomorrow night Stunt Double. It's a Rochester based band that is

682
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:45,360
influenced by soul, modern blues,
funk, R and B. It's gonna

683
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,840
keep you moving, dancing, burning
off some of those thanksg Giving calories that

684
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:52,159
are starting to add up. You
don't want to go in to the next

685
00:44:52,159 --> 00:44:54,840
holiday looking like Santa. I'm just
saying burning off with Stunt Double Iron Smoke

686
00:44:54,920 --> 00:45:00,199
Distillery in Fairport, New York.
Baby Nack of All Trades the name is

687
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:04,480
it all five eight five two O
two ninety two eighteen and Mac of All

688
00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:08,599
Trades dot net. Leo's has to
go foods which are perfect for busy families.

689
00:45:08,679 --> 00:45:14,000
Quick and easy meals to go from
Leo's Cafe or deli like Leo's all

690
00:45:14,079 --> 00:45:17,239
homemade kishes. How about chicken pot
pie one of my favorite Shepherd's pie,

691
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:22,480
plus spaghetti and meatballs, turkey dinner, chicken palm so much more, all

692
00:45:22,519 --> 00:45:25,639
prepackaged and ready for you to grab
and go for your next meal from Leo's.

693
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:30,639
Plus remember fresh baked two dollars French
bread and Italian bread all day,

694
00:45:30,119 --> 00:45:35,400
every day. What's the best thing
about Leo's. Everything on Despatch Drive in

695
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:50,079
East Rochester open every day Connors and
Ferris. I just recommended them to a

696
00:45:50,119 --> 00:45:52,719
friend of mine who said he was
with his cousin over Thanksgiving, who had

697
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:58,719
an extremely unfortunate accident just days before
Thanksgiving on the job, and I go,

698
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:00,480
you gotta call Connor's and Farry.
It's a really easy number to remember.

699
00:46:00,599 --> 00:46:05,360
It's two six to two comp But
here's why. They understand the complexities

700
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,199
of workers' compensation claims. They understand
what it's like to deal with the insurance

701
00:46:08,199 --> 00:46:14,159
companies, how to deal with employers, and most importantly, the legal system.

702
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:15,960
They know that inside out and backwards. I guess what you don't know

703
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:20,719
probably any of that. And I'm
not even trying to disparage you in any

704
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:24,119
way. I'm just saying you want
the experts right, and it's stressful.

705
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:29,039
Take that stress off your plate.
Let Connors and Ferris handle it. That's

706
00:46:29,159 --> 00:46:34,360
what they do. Workers comp social
security, disability, and personal injury.

707
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,880
They're going to advocate for your rights, strive to secure you the benefits and

708
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,280
compensation you deserve. But most importantly, you're going to get that peace of

709
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:44,760
mind knowing you have a team by
your side advocating for you and giving you

710
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,559
the attention that you deserve. So
stop all that worry, get the stress

711
00:46:47,559 --> 00:46:51,920
off your plate and give it to
Connors and Ferris. Connors and Ferris,

712
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,280
they have offices in New York City, Syracuse, Rochester, and Buffalo.

713
00:46:54,599 --> 00:47:00,719
They are committed to serving you better. It's very easy to to remember in

714
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:02,760
a quick call away at two six
to two comp. That's two six to

715
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:13,360
two comp. Connerson Ferris, your
workers cop attorneys. Back through the years,

716
00:47:13,599 --> 00:47:22,360
I go undering once again, back
to the seasons of my you a

717
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:28,400
box of rags. If someone gave
us, she would be phenomenal in the

718
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:32,119
backyard with a bidfire playing the guitar. Thirty peg lay next to me.

719
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:38,559
There were rags of many colors,
that every piece was small, and I

720
00:47:38,639 --> 00:47:44,039
didn't have a coat, and it
was the way down in the fall.

721
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:54,679
Mama sould She made my coat of
many colors that I was so proud of

722
00:47:57,559 --> 00:48:02,480
as she sold, she told the
story from the Bible she had read about

723
00:48:02,519 --> 00:48:09,280
a coat of many colors Joseph Wren. Then she said, perhaps this could

724
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:15,599
of bringing did look and happiness,
and I just couldn't a way to wear

725
00:48:15,639 --> 00:48:21,639
it, and Mama Bla stayed away. It's amazing to me when you look

726
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,880
back at times like an I think
of, like, my great this is

727
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:30,960
sappy, but my uh, what
would be my great grandparents during the depression

728
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:36,559
and stuff, they opened their home
to somebody who they had eight kids,

729
00:48:37,639 --> 00:48:40,960
and this so the southern family.
They just couldn't afford to feed their kid.

730
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:45,480
And so my grand my great grandfather
took that kid in. Now they

731
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,960
had nine kids in the house.
I think it was about maybe a year

732
00:48:49,039 --> 00:48:52,039
or two later he came to get
the kid, and my great grandfather was

733
00:48:52,119 --> 00:48:55,280
really felt like a piece of the
family was missing. And this is my

734
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:59,840
grandfather telling me the story. And
it's amazing. And I always love this

735
00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:02,920
song because I go your destitute,
poor, to the point where people are

736
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:07,119
dropping rags off at your house,
but your mom takes those and makes a

737
00:49:07,199 --> 00:49:10,719
coat and says to you, maybe
this coat will bring you good, Like

738
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:15,639
makes it a magical thing. And
you can hear it in the song.

739
00:49:15,679 --> 00:49:19,079
It's a happy thing. Most people
will be like, fucking man, I

740
00:49:19,119 --> 00:49:22,719
got this miserable coat. Everybody else's
got this, and they got that,

741
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,280
they got their Gucci and they got
their leave right and no. And when

742
00:49:25,280 --> 00:49:30,000
you grow old enough, you you
realize it is nothing to mean shit,

743
00:49:30,159 --> 00:49:31,559
right, it doesn't mean shit,
and it is You're fun. It's funny

744
00:49:31,639 --> 00:49:35,920
you say that, because I don't
think I actually paid attention to that song

745
00:49:36,039 --> 00:49:39,239
till I was in my mid forties. Forties. Yeah, so she was

746
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:43,400
in Steel Magnolias. I know that's
a that's very popular with the ladies.

747
00:49:43,639 --> 00:49:46,400
Yeah, that movie. They're helping
you out, you drop these references.

748
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:51,400
I did not watch Steel. I
know Steel Magnolias. It's a I break

749
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:57,239
movie. I broke out my beta
man, just a hundred. Dolly through

750
00:49:57,239 --> 00:50:01,400
it. Nine to five, killed
the rewine Bud nine to five, like

751
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:08,519
I always want to. Yeah,
Dolly Parton and Lily that's right. Could

752
00:50:08,519 --> 00:50:10,480
I forget? You know? I
was thinking I knew we were going to

753
00:50:10,519 --> 00:50:15,079
bring up Dolly Party today. By
the seven degrees of Kevin Bacon, seven

754
00:50:15,119 --> 00:50:19,079
people you can connect. I don't
know how you or I could connect to

755
00:50:19,159 --> 00:50:22,079
Dolly Parton. I can't. I
can't. I don't think I can.

756
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,480
Uh, if anybody out there could
connect me to Dolly, I let her

757
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:29,440
know that I'm writing a song for
her, I think I can. You

758
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,519
think so? Yes, Well I
can definitely connect to Kevin Bacon very quickly,

759
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,400
because, Uh, there was a
woman who was a comedian. Her

760
00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,639
name is Beth Donahue. I remember
Beth and Beth and I were pretty good

761
00:50:40,639 --> 00:50:45,880
friends when especially when she came here
and they thought, uh, they had

762
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:52,199
her on doing nights on on the
station I was on, and Beth I

763
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,320
used to call Beth's show at night
and she would always say things to me

764
00:50:55,480 --> 00:51:00,760
like what are you doing? Somebody
asked me a question, what are you

765
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:07,760
doing? Podcast? So I used
to call Beth show all the time and

766
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:09,280
she go, hey, ay cat, what are you doing? Because I

767
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:16,639
was always drunk? And Andy caaps
O his life was Florence, and they

768
00:51:16,679 --> 00:51:21,159
thought I loved Beth. I mean, I'd been one of the truly authentically

769
00:51:21,199 --> 00:51:22,880
funny people I'd ever met. She
was a stand up comic, right,

770
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,320
yeah, she traveled a lot.
She yeah, she's out, She's completely

771
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:31,719
out. Now she's bagging groceries in
Nashville. She lives in Nashville's completely out.

772
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:36,519
She was part of the male like
they had the blue Collar Comedy Tour.

773
00:51:36,639 --> 00:51:38,000
She was the country Chicks to comedy. They put her on there.

774
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:44,679
She had a chance. She was
had a CBS contract for the original Steve

775
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:49,280
Harvey Show on CBS. UH and
then a producer came along and said she

776
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,159
was too fat for the role,
and so she got out. And then

777
00:51:52,199 --> 00:51:55,719
she wrote a book. Remember Susan
Powder. Susan Powder was the like the

778
00:51:55,800 --> 00:52:02,400
shade. She had a Yes,
she was all self wad Beth wrote it

779
00:52:02,519 --> 00:52:07,880
like the counter book to that.
I mean, she's just so funny and

780
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:12,320
really bright. But I had some
problems with pills and different things and weight

781
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:15,440
fluctuation and all that. But she
got out of comedy completely and she was

782
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:22,400
brilliantly funny, like fucking goddamn.
She was like a room level funny.

783
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:27,079
I remember Tommy Mellay talking about this
show. It was a survivor series for

784
00:52:27,079 --> 00:52:29,480
comedians and you only have five minutes
at the stage. She didn't make it,

785
00:52:29,519 --> 00:52:32,119
and he's like, this show is
bullshit because she headlines. She headlines.

786
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:37,039
Actually, yeah, she didn't try
last either. No, she did.

787
00:52:37,159 --> 00:52:38,880
She did try out for that.
I remember that. So I had

788
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:43,360
actually tried out to do a show
with Beth in Nashville, to do a

789
00:52:43,440 --> 00:52:47,440
radio show. Really yeah, but
Beth was down there. Beth had been

790
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:54,880
on a rock station in Nashville after
here, and Kevin Bacon and his wife,

791
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:59,599
Uh, what's her name? I
know who it is, I can,

792
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,400
I can picture. So they contacted
death and she was doing a show.

793
00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:07,719
She was going to be a talk
show host. Kevin Bacon's wife a

794
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:12,760
radio talk show host, and they
based the character on Beth. And I

795
00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:15,760
think it lasted, like most everything
in Beth's career, about four episodes.

796
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:22,280
But that would be my connection to
Kevin Bacon. Okay, about one degree

797
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:27,800
of separation because she had met here
centric yeah herea very good yeah, that

798
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:30,079
one out of the all right.
According to a recent survey by Change Research

799
00:53:30,159 --> 00:53:37,079
Doug Change Change, I'm sorry,
the biggest dating red flags is when someone

800
00:53:37,159 --> 00:53:44,119
identifies as a communist. I have
never seen that on any I can't imagine.

801
00:53:44,239 --> 00:53:49,440
I went what a whopping? Sixty
four percent said this political leaning would

802
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:54,719
be a turnoff. I I haven't
seen that. I'm well, I'm not

803
00:53:54,800 --> 00:54:00,960
on any dating I'm on the Facebook
dating site. Yeah, not going so

804
00:54:00,079 --> 00:54:05,400
for winners to get on a fucking
once you do what match dot com?

805
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,719
Something like that, e Harmony silver
singles? I guess sign know for that

806
00:54:12,079 --> 00:54:19,519
silver singles? Do you no our
time? Our time? Our time is

807
00:54:19,559 --> 00:54:25,440
called? That's for what? Oh? Yeah? No. Fifty Coming in

808
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:32,960
second place was having no hobbies fall
by identifying as a maga Republican and yeah,

809
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,239
I see that a lot. No
Trumpers. Yeah, okay, okay,

810
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,800
see I can see that too.
More than half fifty five percent of

811
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:45,320
women said identifying as a communist as
a red flag, but other socio political

812
00:54:45,360 --> 00:54:52,599
stances were more problematic. Do you
care if she's really hot and she says

813
00:54:52,920 --> 00:54:58,920
hate capitalism, I don't like this
whole uber thing. No, Actually that

814
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:02,360
would be more almost communism and that
we're sharing the profits with everybody. So

815
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,800
I don't know. Maybe you already
in the cab. First of all,

816
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:08,440
if you're that smoking hot, what
are you doing on a dating site?

817
00:55:08,599 --> 00:55:13,679
In my opinion, and I'm not
saying people that are if you see a

818
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,519
smoke after average, you're just getting
out there. But can you see a

819
00:55:16,519 --> 00:55:20,280
smoking hot woman on it on a
dating site? Do you think it's fake.

820
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:25,199
I think something's it's the same way, and I don't want to sound

821
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,199
cruel, but people like, hey, you ever pick up any hot women?

822
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:31,760
I'm like, no hot women in
your They either have a boyfriend driving

823
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:35,960
around or somebody who's bought them a
car, like you were sating earlier.

824
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:40,320
But hot is a different term for
me, because again it's it's how I

825
00:55:40,360 --> 00:55:45,559
connect with somebody that really cooks my
eggs. Let's get cook your eggs.

826
00:55:45,599 --> 00:55:47,719
You can't judge a book by its
cover. Picture says a thousand words,

827
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:55,159
you know, like these analogies.
I was tucking traffic ubering today. I

828
00:55:55,159 --> 00:55:59,519
had to write something down. All
right, here's one that would really be

829
00:55:59,599 --> 00:56:02,800
your thing. Would you be okay
dating a woman that can drink you under

830
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:08,760
the table? Uh? Not?
Oh anymore? Not anymore. I can't

831
00:56:08,800 --> 00:56:13,920
stand sloppy drunks, and even I've
embarrassed myself a few many hundred times.

832
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:16,039
But once you get older, you
kinda I mean, don't get me wrong.

833
00:56:16,079 --> 00:56:20,239
I still go out and you know
you're gonna tie one on. I

834
00:56:20,559 --> 00:56:22,880
you know I'm over and we'll meet
you there. It's gonna be a long

835
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:27,239
night. Okay. I dated somebody
for a while, it had fun,

836
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:32,039
and it was a couple of years, and there were two or three incidents

837
00:56:32,039 --> 00:56:37,280
where the person they wouldn't get like
obnoxiously drunk or anything, but all of

838
00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,719
a sudden they just fell off a
barstool, like didn't even put out their

839
00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:45,480
hands to fucking brace themselves. It's
like dang, yeah. And there were

840
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:49,599
a couple of times, and then
sometimes some silly things would happen, but

841
00:56:49,639 --> 00:56:52,199
always swaying. It just looks sloppy. I was like, people are saying

842
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:59,280
sent to me and we're walking on
the Marges and Marges is perpetually under construction,

843
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,239
and they had those tarps hanging off
with like a lead pipe. As

844
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:06,440
he came out, and all of
a sudden, she like disappears behind that.

845
00:57:06,599 --> 00:57:09,119
She's like so fucking falls she get
lost. She just fell right right

846
00:57:09,159 --> 00:57:13,519
through it. And I'm standing there
and I'm like homely embarrassed, right embarrassed.

847
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:17,639
So now I got to help her
to the car now, and this

848
00:57:17,719 --> 00:57:22,519
is where I go. I can't. I can't do this anymore because instead

849
00:57:22,519 --> 00:57:27,079
of like holding her hand or anything, I grabbed her like a bouncer wood

850
00:57:27,119 --> 00:57:30,599
from the back of her arm and
her elbow and I had one hand here,

851
00:57:30,599 --> 00:57:32,800
one hand here. She kept swaying. The next day she goes,

852
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:37,440
oh my god, what happened?
She had like my hand print on her

853
00:57:37,719 --> 00:57:39,079
arm. Now, I didn't hit, I didn't do anything, but I

854
00:57:39,119 --> 00:57:43,239
was clearly squeezing. I was squeezing
because I'm on one side of you keeping

855
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,280
you fall traffic. Well, she's
fucking right, but either way, I

856
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:52,079
go, this ain't good. This
isn't good. I can't. So that

857
00:57:52,239 --> 00:57:53,880
was, well, why is it
okay for you to get that drunken?

858
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:57,840
Well, I'm not falling down on
my face and falling was all of a

859
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:01,239
sudden, fucking disappearing behind cannon,
behind plastic. Am I falling off fucking

860
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:07,639
barstools? It was like, it's
somebody just went they hit that level and

861
00:58:07,719 --> 00:58:12,280
book God, no, I couldn't. Uh have you ever seen one of

862
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,920
these? We've talked about this,
and I know they're out there in our

863
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:20,639
area for men for women. Excuse
me saying are we dating the same guy?

864
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,000
Rochester dot com? Are we saying
that? Are we dating the same

865
00:58:24,039 --> 00:58:29,559
guy Rochester Facebook? I've never heard
of that. So now there's are we

866
00:58:29,639 --> 00:58:35,199
dating the same girl? And somebody
writes, hey, FYI something I've learned

867
00:58:35,239 --> 00:58:39,079
through the years of these dating profiles. If a woman states not into one

868
00:58:39,199 --> 00:58:45,239
night stands or quote no hookups,
that's an automatic green light. They do

869
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:49,760
it. If that's what you're looking
for. I see that awful. I

870
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:53,599
gotta go. I bet that motherfucker's
right. I bet he's right. I

871
00:58:53,639 --> 00:58:58,199
bet that that changes everything. That's
an automatic green light. And then he

872
00:58:58,239 --> 00:59:01,360
says they might be a touch where
reluctant, but don't worry. It's like

873
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:06,960
they feel guilty and are trying to
erase their wrongs and convince themselves. Many

874
00:59:07,039 --> 00:59:10,280
encounters with women who acted the exact
opposite. I'm sure there's a lot of

875
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:15,800
women. I'll tell you this here. It depends on the hotness of the

876
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:22,199
dude or the compatibility. If she's
having a great time and she's like her

877
00:59:22,239 --> 00:59:27,119
inhibitions are a little bit gone,
she may agree to do something and fully

878
00:59:27,159 --> 00:59:31,800
aware it's consent. Could be absolutely
if you pull up into a VW or

879
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:35,800
you pull up in a Lamborghini.
Yeah, it's a big difference. Yeah,

880
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:37,079
that's a big difference. All right, turn on or turn off?

881
00:59:38,239 --> 00:59:44,079
Moaning while eating? Oh I can't
stand people to make How about lips back

882
00:59:44,159 --> 00:59:49,960
and oh I can't stand that.
I try to be very careful noise I'm

883
00:59:50,039 --> 00:59:52,599
eating, and it just drives me
up the wall. No, I would

884
00:59:52,599 --> 00:59:57,559
not, I couldn't. No,
no, oh god, it's like a

885
00:59:57,599 --> 01:00:00,239
cow with cud. Yeah about it? Yeah? All right? Are there

886
01:00:00,239 --> 01:00:04,840
more turned on? That was on? I just kind of went through what

887
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,360
I thought I thought of you because
I go, oh wait, I never

888
01:00:07,360 --> 01:00:09,480
opened the phone lines for you.
Oh thanks, I apologize. Let me

889
01:00:09,519 --> 01:00:14,280
see I can grab it right now. You know what one instant uh like

890
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:22,119
is instant like like is uh?
Girls they have a picture with overall on

891
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:27,400
farmer overalls. I think those are
the sexiest cash damn things. The farmer's

892
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:30,480
daughter look done with nothing else.
Well, no, you can have a

893
01:00:30,480 --> 01:00:34,760
shirt underneath, but this see uh
that you know face you just take the

894
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,119
buttons off and it's go. It's
just that's I mean, I think we're

895
01:00:37,719 --> 01:00:47,039
all right. Okay, okay,
call me streets weird. I I think

896
01:00:47,239 --> 01:00:51,000
I think I'm not. I'm not
saying that, you know what. This

897
01:00:51,079 --> 01:00:53,639
is part of my bit that I
last year I was dating on an older

898
01:00:53,639 --> 01:00:57,400
woman and uh, you know,
when women get to be older, they

899
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,559
still want to be sexy and she
goes, you go in the bedroom and

900
01:01:00,559 --> 01:01:02,480
I'll be in a couple of minutes
after something specially, I'm like, okay,

901
01:01:02,599 --> 01:01:06,199
okay, So I'm laying there.
She comes in with a G string

902
01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:10,760
on. It was a Depends G
string. Yeah, I can't crush.

903
01:01:10,840 --> 01:01:15,519
I go all right, I'm in, I'm on board. What happens she's

904
01:01:15,559 --> 01:01:20,599
trying for me? I get it. There's no Depends. Of course,

905
01:01:20,639 --> 01:01:25,599
there's not a Depends drink. Did
you imagine what? Obviously I came up

906
01:01:25,599 --> 01:01:32,400
with a joke kind of turned me
out. I know she didn't get in

907
01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:45,960
a show World maybe yes, the
uh fu? Seriously, seriously, what

908
01:01:46,119 --> 01:01:51,800
is you stop wearing strings? I
mean I never warned them, Doug,

909
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:57,239
So I can't. I think there's
the last roller coaster ride for all of

910
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,440
us when you get older. I
mean, you're gonna be like, you

911
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,320
know, okay, I'm I'm done
doing this. I'm done working out,

912
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:06,000
I'm done taking walks and whatever happens. And you know, I've tried losing

913
01:02:06,039 --> 01:02:08,679
weight and I'm just I'm just gonna
be comfortable with myself from here on out.

914
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:15,239
Yeah, or living denial like I
don't. I don't. Okay,

915
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:19,840
So the age that they stopped worrying. Would it gross you out if you

916
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:23,719
found out your mom was still wearing
g strings? Yeah, it would would

917
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:27,079
gross you out. Well, yeah, because it's my mom. Yeah,

918
01:02:27,079 --> 01:02:30,159
well okay, but I'm okay,
but what about your mom's friends? Have

919
01:02:30,239 --> 01:02:35,000
any friends? What about an ant? What if you had an ant he

920
01:02:35,079 --> 01:02:37,960
found out she's seventy fun Dolly Parton
wore a G string, which Dolly Parton

921
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:44,760
did wear sparkled right because it was
it depends since she wet herself. You

922
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:49,440
caught the light, right, it
just looked like it was down there.

923
01:02:50,519 --> 01:02:54,760
It's all drug that would you?
Would that bother you? Yeah? I

924
01:02:54,800 --> 01:03:00,000
mean yeah, but if I was
an older gentleman and we had a relationship,

925
01:03:00,079 --> 01:03:01,440
but she was trying to spark things
up in the bedroom or whatever,

926
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:07,639
you kind of go with it,
you know. Yeah, I mean there's

927
01:03:07,800 --> 01:03:10,679
role playing and people after you're married
for so many years, you might try

928
01:03:10,719 --> 01:03:14,760
to do a little something. AskMen
dot com. It's a big article in

929
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:20,920
the in the current issue about having
the conversation with your partner about They say

930
01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,559
that's one of the hardest thing.
Yes, it is. It is because

931
01:03:23,199 --> 01:03:28,400
because I think it becomes a guilt
thing. And A and you feel like

932
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,800
you're not doing your eye don't.
There's often I was married, and times

933
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:35,320
where it just you got the kids, you're up in the middle of the

934
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:38,079
night, things aren't happening, and
as a guy, you're you don't even

935
01:03:38,119 --> 01:03:42,159
want to ask because she could already
be in a bad mood and now you're

936
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,000
making a worse mood. And I
don't want to be rejected, like I'm

937
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:49,760
just gonna lay here and jerk off. It's it's like the old Penthouse cartoon

938
01:03:50,039 --> 01:03:52,599
or the guys laying there. Well
you read the cartoons, yes, she

939
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:54,480
lost. They read the cartoons and
Penthouse they were fucking funny as ship.

940
01:03:54,679 --> 01:03:58,239
It was like, remember, there
were two that I just thought of.

941
01:03:59,559 --> 01:04:01,280
Let me tell you the first one
I remember on this conversation, and then

942
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:05,400
I'll give you the other one.
The first one I remember that pertains to

943
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:09,960
our conversation was a guy laying in
a couple. They're both in bed.

944
01:04:10,159 --> 01:04:14,280
He's reading a book one hundred and
one Ways to Turn on your wife,

945
01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,840
and hers was one hundred and two
excuses. I remember that one, yes,

946
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:23,360
yes, right. The other one
I remember was the fat lady who

947
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:27,519
was poking up the hanging up the
thing going missing dog but stuck in the

948
01:04:27,559 --> 01:04:31,960
crack. Yes was the dog.
Yes. And I was probably about somewhere

949
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:35,360
between twelve and fourteen when I first
saw those, and I remember thinking they

950
01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:38,960
were the funniest shit I had ever
seen. Playboy was the hoddest thing back

951
01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:44,159
then. I think were they Playboy
or was it Penhouse Playboy Hustler? Oh

952
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:48,159
it was a hustler cartoon. Oh, it was hustling cartoons because they had

953
01:04:48,199 --> 01:04:54,719
their own I just remember thinking Penhouse
had the volume of cartoons. Those cartoons

954
01:04:54,760 --> 01:04:57,239
were hilarious. Yeah, you had
to have a kind of a raunchy mind,

955
01:04:57,280 --> 01:05:00,000
some of them were. And I
had a pop them exactly. Let's

956
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:05,360
be honest, it's all good.
But I mean those artists would sell their

957
01:05:05,679 --> 01:05:10,159
their artwork to all three of those
and plus other even the New Yorker,

958
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,800
and they would down. Yes,
it was a lot of this similar artists

959
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:17,760
not dumb it down, but they
didn't have to make it dirty or sexist,

960
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:20,840
or they weren't dumblant down for the
New Yorker. I think New Yorker

961
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:29,480
was a little more cerebral. The
others were a little easy York. Of

962
01:05:29,480 --> 01:05:32,360
course, that wasn't happening. I
used to New York. I don't know

963
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,840
why I went with that. But
other magazine they had comedy in them.

964
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:40,400
Yeah, I mean even Mad Magazine. They probably sold some clips to them.

965
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:42,719
I guess, I don't know.
Yeah, being a cartoonist, you

966
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:45,280
get your name out there. All
right, there are two things I want

967
01:05:45,320 --> 01:05:48,519
to take a moment. Okay,
dog is going to be on stage in

968
01:05:48,559 --> 01:05:53,800
a week Thursday, Thursday. Right, it's going to be opening up for

969
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:58,039
Mike Danbrough, who's a Rochester guy. But it placed clubs all over the

970
01:05:58,039 --> 01:06:03,400
country. I was just looking them
up on YouTube dot com. Last he

971
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:08,559
used to do a whole bit that
just had people in absolute stitches and it

972
01:06:08,639 --> 01:06:11,760
was like the whole from start to
finish. It was like a forty five

973
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:15,679
minute set and it was fantastic.
I don't know that he does that anymore.

974
01:06:15,719 --> 01:06:19,079
He certainly got talent to do anything. But you'll be opening it's just

975
01:06:19,119 --> 01:06:23,159
you and he, just me and
him. That's yeah. You're doing fifteen

976
01:06:23,119 --> 01:06:28,480
to twenty minutes upfront. YEP five
shows one Thursday, two Friday to Saturday,

977
01:06:28,760 --> 01:06:32,719
and you can get your tickets at
Carlsoncomedy dot com and you're but you

978
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:36,840
have some of your material. Yeah, I've been practicing it. Would you

979
01:06:36,519 --> 01:06:39,840
you you mentioned it when you came
in here. Do you want to do

980
01:06:39,880 --> 01:06:42,280
it here? You know what?
Why not? So even if you're going

981
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:44,159
to the show, you want to
hear some of it? No, but

982
01:06:44,199 --> 01:06:48,000
it's I think it's cool to hear
it here and then go see it playing

983
01:06:48,039 --> 01:06:51,360
the right rule. Thinking about that
today because I was practicing the evolution of

984
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,880
it right. Yeah, I think
that's kind of cool. And then the

985
01:06:54,960 --> 01:07:00,760
other is you're a fan of the
forty nine ers, yes, or shocked

986
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:04,760
that the Philadelphia Eagles are an underdog
at home to the forty nine ers this

987
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:08,360
week? What is it? Three
and a half? Three and a half,

988
01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,840
But that's still you get three and
a half for being you get three

989
01:07:10,880 --> 01:07:15,639
for being home. We were winning
last year in the NFC Championship when his

990
01:07:15,079 --> 01:07:20,480
Brock Scott his arm broke and that
was pretty ugly, pretty ugly. I

991
01:07:20,519 --> 01:07:25,960
love Brock Purdy. He's got the
seventies, poor name like Jerk Diggler brox

992
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:30,679
So and we want him bad.
Yes. Well, I'll give you some

993
01:07:30,719 --> 01:07:35,840
of the odds and they're still I
believe the Vegas odds favorite to win the

994
01:07:35,880 --> 01:07:40,639
Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, so this could all be a

995
01:07:40,639 --> 01:07:44,679
great omen for you with your comedy
coming on. Yes, well let's see.

996
01:07:45,079 --> 01:07:48,159
We'll get to all that next.
But first, manscaped, let me

997
01:07:48,159 --> 01:07:50,400
tell you something. To get busy
around the holidays. And I looked at

998
01:07:50,519 --> 01:07:53,760
myself in the mirror because I had
gotten caught up for a few days,

999
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:57,519
and went, oh my gosh,
there's hair coming out of the ears,

1000
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:00,440
little military, And that would have
been longer than I would like, or

1001
01:08:00,480 --> 01:08:04,360
any human would really like. You
could have hung a Christmas light off the

1002
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:09,840
end of it. Well, the
weed wager two point zh to the rescue

1003
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:13,159
man. No nicks, no scrapes, it's it's great. No pulling or

1004
01:08:13,239 --> 01:08:15,159
tugging either. You don't want to
be tugging those Just trims it right down.

1005
01:08:15,239 --> 01:08:17,479
Boom, all of a sudden,
go, whoa, I'm looking human

1006
01:08:17,520 --> 01:08:21,920
again. Then again in the shower, looked at whoa. Well the lawnmower

1007
01:08:23,039 --> 01:08:26,119
five point zero ultra. You know
what's great about that? The next gen

1008
01:08:26,239 --> 01:08:30,800
skin safe bladeheads. That's right,
you know when my balls look like Ristmas

1009
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:36,159
balls? Hey baby, No,
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little precursor to what's coming. If
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1022
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1023
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say when you're on a plane,
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1024
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1025
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1033
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com. Circu and Circu unbilified.
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Let me tell you a sticky situation that

1037
01:10:16,479 --> 01:10:19,720
could happen this time of year.
You're in a holiday party, you stop

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drinking, you think you're okay.
You're driving home. That's on a Christmas

1039
01:10:24,640 --> 01:10:28,560
tree behind you. You're being pulled
over and charged with d WI, you

1040
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,600
need to make a call to Circu
and Circuit at five eight five three eight

1041
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1042
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you're accused of a crime you didn't
knowingly commit. Circu and Circuit five A

1043
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five three eight five twenty five ten. They've litigated criminal cases of virtually every

1044
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scenario. Simple misdemeanors, they've done
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those amazingly well. If you've been
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1046
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lawyer, you want one with integrity
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1047
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courtroom. That's Circu and Circu.
All their consultations are held in the highest

1048
01:11:01,399 --> 01:11:06,720
confidence. And here's the most important
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1049
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to ensure that you are not deprived
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1050
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located in Pittsford, serves the entire
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1051
01:11:16,279 --> 01:11:19,039
and beyond. I want you to
know about what I believe to be the

1052
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best five eight five three eight five
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1053
01:11:24,840 --> 01:11:38,600
their secure contact page at circulaw dot
com. Lean Lean, Lean, show

1054
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:45,119
me, Oh Dolly, Come on
break on that cheerleader outfit. Let me

1055
01:11:45,199 --> 01:11:53,079
take it to the fifty yard line
and bag baby. Now, I want

1056
01:11:53,119 --> 01:11:55,880
to hand it to her because she
didn't play loved it. I'd love to

1057
01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:59,199
hand it to her. Yeah,
you would. She did playboy, She

1058
01:11:59,239 --> 01:12:02,920
wasn't nude. She had her Yeah, I mean you can't miss them.

1059
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:10,079
No, and those are you know, those aren't enhanced. But she did

1060
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:15,239
say, yes, I was on
a Titanic. Yeah boo. She was

1061
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:18,640
on either on Jay Leno or Johnny
Carston jay Leno. And she said that

1062
01:12:19,159 --> 01:12:23,119
if she's not feeling right, she'll
have a little nip tuck here and there.

1063
01:12:23,800 --> 01:12:26,960
Over the years, she's had a
lot of work done. But she

1064
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:30,199
says it openly. Yes, you
know, not like these other actresses you

1065
01:12:30,239 --> 01:12:31,079
know have a little something done.
They claim, No, I didn't do

1066
01:12:31,119 --> 01:12:35,840
anything. She's there, Yeah I
had a done. I mean she might

1067
01:12:35,840 --> 01:12:39,319
have had a little lyft, a
little tummy tucky. Why do we get

1068
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:43,319
it's it's a funny thing, is
said Jolie. I'm just here. No,

1069
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:48,000
you were saying it all fucking nuts. You annoyed your friends. I

1070
01:12:48,079 --> 01:12:51,000
annoyed one friend. No, what
I was gonna say is, why do

1071
01:12:51,119 --> 01:12:55,279
we get upset with people who would
deny the nip talk. What do we

1072
01:12:55,359 --> 01:13:00,880
care? Right? But there is
something about aging gray fully versus because sometimes

1073
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:05,800
it can go too far, Like
even Jane Fonda at eighty five, there's

1074
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:11,039
work. It almost looks unnatural at
some point just people say I never have

1075
01:13:11,159 --> 01:13:14,000
that done. Well, most people
don't have an extra ten or fifteen grand

1076
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:17,199
to have it done fifteen. I
think some of it's okay, probably even

1077
01:13:17,239 --> 01:13:21,159
more than that. You know,
you get that deep neck contour, turkey

1078
01:13:21,239 --> 01:13:26,600
neck gun. Yeah, that's that's
expensive. That penis enlargement. Whoa,

1079
01:13:27,079 --> 01:13:31,439
there's actually a doctor here in Rochester. I found out about this two summers

1080
01:13:31,439 --> 01:13:34,680
ago. So we're all I'm at
a buddy's house. We're all drinking,

1081
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:39,359
and this one woman goes, yeah, there's a doctor. He's a plastic

1082
01:13:39,359 --> 01:13:45,640
surge or something. He's been doing
penile enlargement, Like he's trying to get

1083
01:13:45,680 --> 01:13:47,479
guys to come in, and he
shoots you up. She goes, really

1084
01:13:47,560 --> 01:13:51,239
just to give you more girth,
and she's like, you know, basically

1085
01:13:51,319 --> 01:13:55,880
it's like botox. I go,
no, it's not. No, it's

1086
01:13:55,920 --> 01:14:00,439
not that's botox, baby, that's
boat Cox. Maybe if I get any

1087
01:14:00,479 --> 01:14:04,560
more, girthy, We're a sweatpants
real twenty four to seven, Yeah,

1088
01:14:04,560 --> 01:14:11,359
without a doubt, and number again
two seven five, May five to zero,

1089
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:15,800
six eighty eight sixty six. There
you go call us in now four

1090
01:14:15,079 --> 01:14:19,880
off from sixty nine baby. That's
right, you love doctor sixty eight.

1091
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:25,520
Oh you won sixty O you won. That's so funny. All right,

1092
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:28,520
So do what do you want to
do first? Your comedy or do you

1093
01:14:28,560 --> 01:14:30,560
want to do your uh, your
forty nine ers brag? Whatever you want

1094
01:14:30,560 --> 01:14:33,239
to do, that's your shorty nine
ers bragging will end on the high note

1095
01:14:33,239 --> 01:14:36,640
of your comedy. Okay, forty
nine ers bragging. Now, I did

1096
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,720
not know this until you just said
this. No, I didn't look at

1097
01:14:39,720 --> 01:14:42,840
the line or anything. So I
know we're playing next. It's been in

1098
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:46,960
fact four thirty Yes, this Sunday, This Sunday. Yeah, this is

1099
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:50,880
a big game. It is because
the Buffalo Bills. I mean, they

1100
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:55,520
really took them right to the edge. And to me, I'm going to

1101
01:14:55,600 --> 01:15:01,039
say this, but I feel like
when I say it, I every time

1102
01:15:01,279 --> 01:15:04,119
it's about to come out of my
mouth, I've eaten the words because it's

1103
01:15:04,199 --> 01:15:08,640
not it's not true to say they
blew it. But they didn't. No,

1104
01:15:08,720 --> 01:15:13,520
they did blow it. I believe
that they beat themselves out there on

1105
01:15:13,920 --> 01:15:16,680
many cases, right down to the
coaching staff. I mean, just let

1106
01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:19,479
him try to kick a fifty nine
yarder. If they make it, they

1107
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:23,680
make it. If they don't,
why are we icing the kicker on a

1108
01:15:23,760 --> 01:15:27,760
fifty nine fucking windy Rady night.
Come on, man, nobody hits that.

1109
01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:30,640
Okay, the guy got it,
but it doesn't matter. It didn't

1110
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:33,720
change anything, is my point.
And you would have had twenty seconds and

1111
01:15:33,760 --> 01:15:36,680
he got Josh Allen, who knows. I thought Josh Allen that game,

1112
01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:42,800
honestly, and we talked that nauseam
about this was the best player in the

1113
01:15:42,880 --> 01:15:47,159
NFL last Sunday, absolutely the best
player. That guy was unbelievable. But

1114
01:15:47,439 --> 01:15:50,800
I want to say they were the
better team, and yeah they were,

1115
01:15:50,960 --> 01:15:55,720
but they weren't because they lost and
they committed so many penalties. I just

1116
01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,119
don't think they were as prepared as
the Eagles. I don't think that.

1117
01:15:58,239 --> 01:16:01,119
I don't think they're coaching staff.
Yeah, you don't let Josh Allen run

1118
01:16:01,159 --> 01:16:05,000
for three or four games, and
now you see him against the Phildale Fieagles

1119
01:16:05,039 --> 01:16:08,159
and you're letting him run, letting
him do it. Yeah, so you've

1120
01:16:08,159 --> 01:16:12,399
blown your own season. So they
can lose one more game against Miami or

1121
01:16:12,399 --> 01:16:15,800
Miami, yeah, or a casey
and win the rest and have a ten

1122
01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:19,640
and seven record and maybe squeak it, maybe squeak it maybe maybe. Yeah.

1123
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:23,600
I mean that, that's absolutely true. But I also will say that

1124
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:28,560
everybody when that after the coordinator change
and here comes Joe Brady, and everybody's

1125
01:16:28,560 --> 01:16:30,880
going, I can't tell much from
this game. And I watched the game

1126
01:16:31,359 --> 01:16:35,199
and I thought, oh, they're
probably right. These guys, these prognosticators

1127
01:16:35,199 --> 01:16:40,479
are smart guys. They talk about
sports all the time, smart guy Jocksniffers

1128
01:16:40,479 --> 01:16:42,399
team. I watch it, I
go, you know what, bullshit?

1129
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:45,720
They changed that offense and there's no
fucking way they would have done in this

1130
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:49,560
swell against the Philadelphia Eagles if Dorsey
were in there, they ran the ball

1131
01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:53,479
three times in a row. They
had never done that all season. Do

1132
01:16:53,479 --> 01:16:56,079
you know what the line on that
game was? No? Three and a

1133
01:16:56,079 --> 01:17:00,680
half. It was yeah right.
People are saying that the the bar and

1134
01:17:00,680 --> 01:17:01,960
they're like, can you believe that
line? Yeah? What do they know?

1135
01:17:02,039 --> 01:17:04,399
What are the bookies know that we
do? Because I think they saw

1136
01:17:04,800 --> 01:17:10,239
all the changes in the offense,
and they know Josh Allen, I really

1137
01:17:10,239 --> 01:17:19,039
do now. But here so I
think Philadelphia looks vulnerable. They are vulnerable

1138
01:17:19,159 --> 01:17:28,720
with the with the right vulnerable.
The only other word I know is vagina.

1139
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:31,079
And you have to remember, I
gotta remember, did you say virgina?

1140
01:17:31,239 --> 01:17:36,600
I know, virgina, vulture,
and vulnerable. They're all two or

1141
01:17:36,600 --> 01:17:42,600
three syllable words, and those are
very deficult for me. The forty nine

1142
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:46,159
ers, so I believe they're three
point favorites this weekend in Philly. In

1143
01:17:46,199 --> 01:17:50,520
Philly, yeah, which I mean, that's rare, man, that's rare.

1144
01:17:51,439 --> 01:17:54,960
But they are plus four hundred to
win the Super Bowl. That's the

1145
01:17:54,960 --> 01:17:59,039
best odds, followed by the Kansas
City Chiefs at four to twenty five Eagles

1146
01:17:59,039 --> 01:18:00,800
at four fifty plus four fifty.
Yeah. I don't I don't see how

1147
01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:04,520
it's not. The Niners are Philly
out of the NFC. Yeah, really,

1148
01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:09,279
I mean the Niners. Look,
I mean the Niners with everything clicking

1149
01:18:09,680 --> 01:18:14,920
after the bye week, and that
Philadelphia back field, defensive backfield is suspect.

1150
01:18:15,239 --> 01:18:17,399
Yeah, And I don't feel that
way with the Niners. Now,

1151
01:18:17,479 --> 01:18:20,640
We've got a lot of we got
a lot of talent. I was all

1152
01:18:20,680 --> 01:18:25,880
from DraftKings. So it's not like
some fly by night. Probably twenty four

1153
01:18:25,960 --> 01:18:28,199
second that's all they did. That's
all they did. That's all they do.

1154
01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:30,039
Who else did they got? They
get the Niners, they have the

1155
01:18:30,119 --> 01:18:33,880
Dolphins and the Ravens tied at plus
eight hundred. That makes sense. Cowboys

1156
01:18:33,920 --> 01:18:39,199
at plus nine Cowboys are making Lions
at plus twelve hundred, and the Jags

1157
01:18:39,199 --> 01:18:45,560
at plus fifteen hundred, plus fifteen
hundred. Yeah, and the AFC Chiefs,

1158
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:48,720
Dolphins, and he got Jalen Hurts, raven favorite to win the MVP

1159
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:53,880
because you know, I don't think
the the person that's one of the MVP

1160
01:18:54,000 --> 01:18:56,199
has won the Super Bowl in the
same year. A lot of times.

1161
01:18:56,399 --> 01:18:59,520
It's only happening. Yeah, I
think you're right. I think he's right.

1162
01:18:59,560 --> 01:19:00,760
It's great. He's got to be
one of those guys. I think

1163
01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:04,760
so. And I think then could
another one be Montana? I think so.

1164
01:19:05,319 --> 01:19:09,279
I don't know, yeah, something
like that. Anyway, I just

1165
01:19:09,279 --> 01:19:14,199
thought I would share that with you
become a forty nine Ers. Everybody liked

1166
01:19:14,199 --> 01:19:19,960
the Cowboys are Steelers when you were
a kid. Yeah, I think I

1167
01:19:20,000 --> 01:19:25,000
was two. Yeah, I don't
remember that. Like I got into football

1168
01:19:25,079 --> 01:19:27,239
was the Niners and they won the
Super Bowl and I'm like, okay,

1169
01:19:27,239 --> 01:19:30,720
I'll stick with it. Yeah not
just changed my team to whoever wins the

1170
01:19:30,760 --> 01:19:32,600
Super Bowl? Right, So nin
fan Ever since, I've been there a

1171
01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:35,239
bunch of times. Yeah, they've
been there five times, I know seven

1172
01:19:35,279 --> 01:19:41,479
times or five and two? So
have you been out to when you wherever?

1173
01:19:41,560 --> 01:19:44,079
At when they played in Candlestick?
Did you? I was not a

1174
01:19:44,079 --> 01:19:47,560
Candlestick. Me and my best friend
Mike Gilbert had tickets to the Monday night

1175
01:19:47,560 --> 01:19:50,840
game. It was supposed to be
Buffalo in San Frane. We had plane

1176
01:19:50,840 --> 01:19:56,479
tickets and COVID hit oh shit,
really yeah, the money bag for the

1177
01:19:56,520 --> 01:20:00,640
tickets. We tried to sell the
tickets on line in Buffalo or wherever they

1178
01:20:00,680 --> 01:20:04,680
were, and I got stuck with
the money. I wasn't very good at

1179
01:20:04,680 --> 01:20:09,800
it, and the tickets went down
from I think we paid two or three

1180
01:20:09,880 --> 01:20:14,680
hundred dollars each. It's not outrageous
by today's standards, but that's a lot.

1181
01:20:14,760 --> 01:20:17,439
Yeah. I think we were trying
to sell them for another game or

1182
01:20:17,439 --> 01:20:21,119
they said you could exchange them again. I was very good at that.

1183
01:20:21,119 --> 01:20:24,720
I should have got some help and
and I try to put on Facebook and

1184
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:27,880
Facebook and no takers for a Buffalo
game. That's the best we had because

1185
01:20:27,880 --> 01:20:31,000
they had moved the game from San
France to Arizona. The Niners got blown

1186
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:34,640
out. Yeah, and it is
what it is in the past, and

1187
01:20:34,640 --> 01:20:38,680
the Niners will be in Buffalo next
year. They play each other every six

1188
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:42,840
years and every twelve years, you
know, it goes to different stags.

1189
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:45,479
Yes, so I did see Montana
play when he was with the Chiefs in

1190
01:20:45,479 --> 01:20:48,279
the AFC Championship game. I've seen
the Niners the past three times they've been

1191
01:20:48,279 --> 01:20:54,359
here over eighteen years. I've seen
Jerry Rice, Steve Young, even Kaepernick

1192
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:59,560
when he knelt, and I really
turned my stomach for the national anthem.

1193
01:21:00,119 --> 01:21:04,359
Oh it did. Ye. I
didn't have a problem with it because I

1194
01:21:04,359 --> 01:21:10,399
thought it was a fair solution to
him sitting. The sitting I thought was

1195
01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:13,840
worse. And when a marine came
to him, I think it was a

1196
01:21:13,840 --> 01:21:17,159
marine came to him and said,
how about we meet somewhere in the middle.

1197
01:21:17,279 --> 01:21:21,479
I thought the kneeling was okay because
the prior weeks he was sitting on

1198
01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:25,680
the bench. He didn't even stand, and I thought this was at least

1199
01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:30,439
somewhat respectful. Hey, I got
a problem here, but I'm gonna honor

1200
01:21:30,479 --> 01:21:31,960
the flag and I'm gonna do it. And he had a serviceman next to

1201
01:21:32,039 --> 01:21:34,560
him, so that that softened it
for me. A lot of people will

1202
01:21:34,600 --> 01:21:39,199
say I'm crazy for that, So
don't don't take don't take my thing on

1203
01:21:39,239 --> 01:21:43,760
it. But I thought the kneeling
was better than the sitting. The sitting,

1204
01:21:43,800 --> 01:21:45,600
I thought, yeah, that's not
I don't like that. We shouldn't.

1205
01:21:45,600 --> 01:21:48,119
We should probably. I mean,
there's a lot of people who made

1206
01:21:48,119 --> 01:21:53,159
this who do an awful lot to
make this country right, you know,

1207
01:21:53,359 --> 01:21:59,800
so that I thought the sitting was
pretty bad. But yeah, Kaepernick lock.

1208
01:22:00,560 --> 01:22:03,079
I think he won a collusion case
against the NFL, saying that they

1209
01:22:03,079 --> 01:22:06,439
conluded to keep him out. After
that, I don't remember that. Yeah

1210
01:22:06,479 --> 01:22:10,119
he did. I'm pretty sure he
did. It was kept fairly quiet.

1211
01:22:10,119 --> 01:22:12,720
But I think he got money from
the NFL, a couple million more than

1212
01:22:12,760 --> 01:22:15,760
the eighteen million the Nike was paying
him. Yeah, I think, Yeah.

1213
01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:17,479
I think I thought it would have
been two or two and a half,

1214
01:22:17,680 --> 01:22:21,960
and I'm pretty sure it was.
Who was his lawyer's defense attorney?

1215
01:22:24,399 --> 01:22:27,039
I have to find that out put. Yeah it wasn't, Jenny cachran right,

1216
01:22:27,039 --> 01:22:29,680
No, no, no, no, no, no no. I

1217
01:22:29,680 --> 01:22:31,359
think I think Johnny might have been
fast by this. I'm not sure.

1218
01:22:32,159 --> 01:22:36,000
All right? Should we do Doug's
comedy here? Sure? Now? Hang

1219
01:22:36,039 --> 01:22:40,359
on here? This is how we
uh. I think this is usually the

1220
01:22:40,359 --> 01:22:45,000
intro they use. Welcome to the
jungle. Yeah yeah, ladies and gentlemen,

1221
01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:54,640
please turn off your phones, keep
your laughter loud and you're talking to

1222
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:59,319
a minimum man. Please welcome to
the stage, the funniest man behind the

1223
01:22:59,319 --> 01:23:09,560
wheel dog fail. It's usually what
they bring up to it. Yes,

1224
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:17,039
Oh, good evening, Carlson,
good evening, everybody on Bilified podcast.

1225
01:23:17,439 --> 01:23:20,640
Here we go. You look Bill, you look fantastic. I gotta tell

1226
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:27,000
you me not so much. This
was gonna be my year to lose weight,

1227
01:23:27,279 --> 01:23:30,800
and it has been an epic fail. Well. I did start out

1228
01:23:30,880 --> 01:23:33,560
right in January. I bought one
of those fitbits, those watches that count

1229
01:23:33,560 --> 01:23:36,279
your steps. Yes, ecept,
I made the mistake of wearing it while

1230
01:23:36,279 --> 01:23:42,920
I masturbated, and I looked at
it. It told me I ran twenty

1231
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,640
eight miles and seven minutes. Wow. Yeah, So I returned it right

1232
01:23:45,640 --> 01:23:49,560
there and then wow, Now that's
crazy. Now I'm not allowed in Dick

1233
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:55,880
Sporting Goods anymore. Apparently you're not
allowed to Apparently you're not allowed to work

1234
01:23:55,880 --> 01:24:00,840
out in store. I did join
a gym, I got a personal trainer.

1235
01:24:01,159 --> 01:24:04,439
Or to waste of money. That
was some jacked up Arnold Schwartz.

1236
01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:09,600
Nigger guy goes mister Phelps. He
goes, what do you want to work

1237
01:24:09,640 --> 01:24:12,399
on? Do you want to build
muscle masks? Do you want to tone

1238
01:24:12,479 --> 01:24:14,880
up? Do you want to lose
weight? I'm like, easy, does

1239
01:24:14,880 --> 01:24:16,439
it? Arnold? All you gotta
do is tell me what machine I have

1240
01:24:16,479 --> 01:24:19,239
to use in here to get a
woman in my bedroom. He goes the

1241
01:24:19,279 --> 01:24:26,199
ATM perfect, thank you, best
workout ever. I didn't even break a

1242
01:24:26,279 --> 01:24:30,560
sweat. Well, you want to
be attractive, you know you want to

1243
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:32,039
have you know, people always ask
me. You asked me, like Doug,

1244
01:24:32,079 --> 01:24:35,399
I see on Facebook, you're always
pictures with women and they got their

1245
01:24:35,479 --> 01:24:39,479
arms around you. I'm like,
this is just they're just fun pictures with

1246
01:24:39,520 --> 01:24:43,399
friends. I have no game with
women. My game with women is like

1247
01:24:43,640 --> 01:24:48,279
a game of monopoly, where I'm
the shoe. I start with only fifteen

1248
01:24:48,319 --> 01:24:54,119
bucks and the only property I can
get his Oriental Avenue. That's that's my

1249
01:24:54,279 --> 01:24:57,960
game with women. And sometimes I'm
thinking I'm gonna do good. You know,

1250
01:24:57,960 --> 01:25:00,239
I'm coming around. Go I'm gonna
get that two hundred and I follow

1251
01:25:00,279 --> 01:25:04,159
the property deck and it all goes
to hell. I have buddies that have

1252
01:25:04,199 --> 01:25:08,119
game. They got park place on
boardwalk, all four railroads. I mean,

1253
01:25:08,159 --> 01:25:12,880
they do good with women me,
although my luck might be changing though.

1254
01:25:12,960 --> 01:25:15,279
Last night I was at a bar
and this woman bought me a beer

1255
01:25:15,880 --> 01:25:19,279
and she goes, you in that
comedy show next week of the Carlson I

1256
01:25:19,319 --> 01:25:21,640
go, well, yes, i
am. She goes, do you think

1257
01:25:21,680 --> 01:25:24,680
you're funny? I go, yeah, I think I'm funny. She goes,

1258
01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:27,960
how are you in bed? I'm
like oh, I'm like, well,

1259
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:30,119
sweetie, I'm like, did Jack
grab it? Roller Coaster over Sea

1260
01:25:30,159 --> 01:25:35,159
Breeze takes about twenty minutes to get
on the ride, last minute thirty eight

1261
01:25:35,199 --> 01:25:41,680
seconds, and then the park shuts
down five hours for repairs. But you

1262
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:45,600
walk away going that's a good ride. I like that ride. I'm not

1263
01:25:45,640 --> 01:25:48,960
gonna ride it again this year,
but next year I'm I'm gonna give it

1264
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:53,479
a ride. I'm gonna I'm gonna
give it a ride. I love that

1265
01:25:53,600 --> 01:25:58,279
joke. Well, you know,
people, you're not gonna want me at

1266
01:25:58,279 --> 01:26:00,439
your show? Why because I'm gonna
meaning the fuck it back. I'll start

1267
01:26:00,479 --> 01:26:03,119
cracking up. That's all of a
sudden, I'll go, I love this

1268
01:26:03,159 --> 01:26:10,760
one. You'll hear it from across
the room. Well, I have my

1269
01:26:11,199 --> 01:26:14,600
niece tries to play matchmaker. I
am single, I'm fifty three, and

1270
01:26:14,840 --> 01:26:17,800
she goes, Ncle Doug, you're
funny. But girls like funny. You

1271
01:26:17,840 --> 01:26:20,319
just need some younger terms. And
I'm like, I have urs. I

1272
01:26:20,319 --> 01:26:24,279
don't have younger terms. I just
she goes, no, you do.

1273
01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:27,640
If you heard this one, Billity, you have Netflix and chill. Yeah,

1274
01:26:28,600 --> 01:26:30,119
text he calls somebody and hey,
you want a Netflix and chill And

1275
01:26:30,119 --> 01:26:36,119
they come over and you pick something
on Netflix and chill watch it right then

1276
01:26:36,159 --> 01:26:39,920
you go, well, you go
to the next level. They have Hulu

1277
01:26:40,319 --> 01:26:44,199
and do you okay, which is
just like Netflix and chill. Something come

1278
01:26:44,199 --> 01:26:47,119
over and they if you can see
me that you're you're pounding it. And

1279
01:26:47,159 --> 01:26:49,720
I said, Maris, I don't
the women I hang out with don't tell

1280
01:26:49,760 --> 01:26:54,680
me the Netflix and Chill. The
women I hang out would tell me if

1281
01:26:54,720 --> 01:26:58,479
I lose the station on the left
hand side of my body. Squeeze my

1282
01:26:58,600 --> 01:27:01,800
hands, squeeze my necklace, read
my bracelet, call my daughter her numbers

1283
01:27:01,840 --> 01:27:04,920
on the fridge. If you know
me, I bang them old. I

1284
01:27:05,439 --> 01:27:12,479
am an old buck hunter, oldest
old baby, oldest gold. My wheelhouse

1285
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:16,479
for women is between seventy and you
will. I like it where they can

1286
01:27:16,520 --> 01:27:19,680
smack me in the ass and call
me a rascal as long as they're not

1287
01:27:19,760 --> 01:27:28,560
riding one. I just turned into
McMahon. That's a good one there,

1288
01:27:28,640 --> 01:27:33,199
Doug. Sorry. And I've been
kicking it with this older woman for a

1289
01:27:33,199 --> 01:27:34,920
couple of years. I don't want
to tell you how old she is,

1290
01:27:35,640 --> 01:27:41,520
but she has buried three husbands.
She is a three time widower. My

1291
01:27:41,600 --> 01:27:47,159
Spanish friends have a cute nickname for
me. They call me Quatro. You

1292
01:27:47,199 --> 01:27:49,920
know, it doesn't matter the age. There's always ups and downs. There's

1293
01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:55,239
always she gets mad at me.
She you know, we get in our

1294
01:27:55,279 --> 01:27:58,640
fights. And when she's mad at
me, her thing is she will hide

1295
01:27:58,640 --> 01:28:01,640
my TV remote. That drives me
up the wall. I get mad at

1296
01:28:01,680 --> 01:28:09,479
her and I hide her teeth.
And she's always so funny. When she

1297
01:28:09,520 --> 01:28:13,840
wants the back, She's like,
okay, smart where are they this time?

1298
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:15,760
I'm like, what, I don't
know? What are you talking about?

1299
01:28:19,079 --> 01:28:23,239
So that's a little bit of the
tape that really impressed. Thank you,

1300
01:28:23,479 --> 01:28:27,439
And I'll tell you why, because
to sit here and do it is

1301
01:28:27,520 --> 01:28:31,560
uncomfortable a little bit. I've been
rehearsing at home as you I made fun

1302
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:34,239
of you. That's all right,
But did you video it? I didn't

1303
01:28:34,239 --> 01:28:38,920
have video. You should video it, just to see because sometimes you'lln't even

1304
01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:43,279
notice things that can make it funnier
physical comedy. Here's the microphone. Yes

1305
01:28:43,319 --> 01:28:45,279
see, I showed you. Did
you see now? It's funny as you

1306
01:28:45,319 --> 01:28:53,800
said that because I had a Dolly
Parton give some Dolly Parton? What cookware

1307
01:28:54,239 --> 01:28:57,479
from Delago? How did you get
that from? How do you get?

1308
01:28:58,239 --> 01:29:00,119
Uh? They give free gifts and
I and get them, usually find her

1309
01:29:00,119 --> 01:29:03,680
friend then I regift them. But
I kept that one for a friend of

1310
01:29:03,680 --> 01:29:06,119
mine and I send this picture.
When you do, I go, I'm

1311
01:29:06,119 --> 01:29:11,840
rehearsing my comedy. She goes with
Dolly Parton and the Living Girl, which

1312
01:29:11,880 --> 01:29:15,239
I thought was hilarious. Do you
stand in front of that microphone? Yeah,

1313
01:29:15,319 --> 01:29:16,840
I would say, and I know
that I made fun of you for

1314
01:29:16,920 --> 01:29:19,920
doing this, But I think it's
a really smart thing to do because I

1315
01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:24,479
did the same thing. I would
do it. I would do rehearse and

1316
01:29:24,640 --> 01:29:27,880
stand. I wouldn't stand in front
of a mirror and I have just paced

1317
01:29:27,920 --> 01:29:31,079
back and forth, but be standing
and picturing myself with the audience. But

1318
01:29:31,159 --> 01:29:36,159
having the microphone and seeing how you
stand with it. What's natural? What's

1319
01:29:36,159 --> 01:29:42,600
funny? Because I can tell you
what you just did here is really funny

1320
01:29:42,640 --> 01:29:45,359
stuff. But it's it's uncomfortable you're
doing it to me. Oh, I

1321
01:29:45,399 --> 01:29:47,399
got to do it somewhere. You
got to get over that fear. No,

1322
01:29:47,479 --> 01:29:50,800
I understand, but reality. But
there I've heard of like that woman

1323
01:29:50,840 --> 01:29:56,119
beth don Hill I was talking about
earlier. She went to some big club,

1324
01:29:56,159 --> 01:29:58,479
I don't remember what it was,
and the owner goes, all right,

1325
01:29:58,640 --> 01:30:00,279
come in here, give me your
time, do ten minutes for me.

1326
01:30:00,439 --> 01:30:03,079
And you had to stand there in
front of him. And he's doing

1327
01:30:03,199 --> 01:30:08,039
other work, like he's checking this, he's looking at the computer, the

1328
01:30:08,079 --> 01:30:11,199
bill sheets come in, he's signing
something, and you got to stand there

1329
01:30:11,199 --> 01:30:15,119
and do your act for this guy. And that's like that can really make

1330
01:30:15,239 --> 01:30:17,840
or break you in a sense.
Uh. And it's uncomfortable. I thought

1331
01:30:17,920 --> 01:30:21,760
this was smooth. You know,
the material, it all flows, it

1332
01:30:21,840 --> 01:30:26,680
all fits. I don't know.
I think it's gonna go great for you.

1333
01:30:27,039 --> 01:30:30,560
So because what's gonna happen is you're
gonna have more energy in that room.

1334
01:30:30,720 --> 01:30:32,840
Yes, and you're gonna be more
excited and a little bit nervous,

1335
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:36,640
which really is just excitement, and
then you're gonna fucking crush. I think

1336
01:30:36,640 --> 01:30:40,000
it's great. Go out and see
Doug. You're gonna love it. Thank

1337
01:30:40,039 --> 01:30:43,439
you. Yeah, it's on Carlsoncomedy
dot com. Yeah, I'm opening up

1338
01:30:43,439 --> 01:30:48,760
for Mike Danbro who Mike is some
of his on YouTube or wherever. Yeah,

1339
01:30:48,960 --> 01:30:51,279
you know, and my and Mike
is from Rochester. Yes, I

1340
01:30:51,319 --> 01:30:56,039
think, uh, yeah, I
don't know where. I've been handing out

1341
01:30:56,079 --> 01:30:59,840
some flyers to some over riders at
yeah, and they talking like, yeah,

1342
01:30:59,880 --> 01:31:01,439
I know this guy. I've seen
him before, you know, recognize

1343
01:31:01,479 --> 01:31:04,800
him from some pass. You know
he's clicking in people's heads and that's a

1344
01:31:04,840 --> 01:31:09,560
good thing. Yeah, Well he's
been around and he won. They used

1345
01:31:09,600 --> 01:31:12,680
to have the Captain's attic had the
funniest person in Rochester stuff, And I

1346
01:31:12,720 --> 01:31:15,479
think Mike won. That's a long
time ago. There was at the mall,

1347
01:31:15,560 --> 01:31:19,239
right in the mall, and then
there was one ale in Greece to

1348
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:24,159
the Captain's Cove. No, there
was a captain's adic with web closing.

1349
01:31:26,279 --> 01:31:30,600
I don't know much about nothing,
but he would win those. And you're

1350
01:31:30,680 --> 01:31:32,159
right, the comedy was at the
mall at Marketplace Mall. Yeah, that's

1351
01:31:32,159 --> 01:31:35,079
where they did do it, okay, and he he had won that a

1352
01:31:35,079 --> 01:31:39,119
couple of times. But then since
then he's gone on to do a ton

1353
01:31:39,159 --> 01:31:41,800
of stuff. Yeah. Yeah,
I looked him up. He was touring

1354
01:31:41,840 --> 01:31:44,720
from Can. I think you're gonna
like him, and uh, he's enjoyable,

1355
01:31:44,960 --> 01:31:45,600
yes, yeah, And I no, but I think you're gonna like

1356
01:31:45,680 --> 01:31:48,239
him as a guy just hanging out. And I don't mean that it's so

1357
01:31:48,479 --> 01:31:54,439
horrible, but sometimes the odd stage
persona's not doesn't match the off stage persona.

1358
01:31:54,600 --> 01:31:57,640
He's the same guy. Yeah,
and I think you're gonna enjoy that.

1359
01:31:57,680 --> 01:32:00,560
But I I think that was great. And the fact that you even

1360
01:32:00,680 --> 01:32:02,399
just agreed to just sit here and
do it, I think it's even better.

1361
01:32:02,760 --> 01:32:05,640
Well, of course I'm gonna agree. I love making you laugh,

1362
01:32:05,680 --> 01:32:10,600
it's a fun time. I love
making it. I love the listeners yes,

1363
01:32:10,760 --> 01:32:14,319
well, of course, Yeah,
people loved Doug. Last week was

1364
01:32:14,479 --> 01:32:16,640
fucking hilarious. Yes, did you
get good feedback to people call in?

1365
01:32:16,800 --> 01:32:20,039
I don't know. I haven't talked
to him Thanksgiving? Your kids were in

1366
01:32:20,119 --> 01:32:23,399
task, yes, you know.
I don't know if people are writing in,

1367
01:32:23,520 --> 01:32:27,600
calling in, or if my kids
were in town. And then I

1368
01:32:27,640 --> 01:32:30,199
told this last night, and my
dad called me today, and I know

1369
01:32:30,239 --> 01:32:33,039
he listens to the podcast and he'll
say, you, oh, I read

1370
01:32:33,039 --> 01:32:35,680
the little blurb, but if you're
doing an interview, I'll listen. Otherwise,

1371
01:32:35,720 --> 01:32:39,079
I figure it's not aimed at me, is what he'll say. I

1372
01:32:39,199 --> 01:32:42,119
listened last night with your dad getting
the bill, the bill, No,

1373
01:32:42,520 --> 01:32:45,039
not the bill. He was fine, he says he's gonna do this.

1374
01:32:45,239 --> 01:32:47,600
My brother's got the right attitude.
Fuck, this is what he does.

1375
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:51,920
But when the two bottles of wine, Doug, I'm sitting next to him.

1376
01:32:51,960 --> 01:32:55,760
He's steaming, and he's going to
be old. He's mumbling under his

1377
01:32:55,800 --> 01:32:58,039
breath and he's saying all this shit, and I feel like a little kid

1378
01:32:58,039 --> 01:33:00,199
again, like I'm in trouble.
Right, I didn't do it. All

1379
01:33:00,239 --> 01:33:03,479
I did was trying to get one
goddamn drink, right, it's like,

1380
01:33:03,800 --> 01:33:08,079
right, he's stealing as somebody.
Yeah, and he's just had and he's

1381
01:33:08,239 --> 01:33:11,800
he's huffing and puffing about it and
huffing. Then uh, you know,

1382
01:33:11,960 --> 01:33:14,680
I I said, I showed him
where the bathroom was. There's a little

1383
01:33:14,680 --> 01:33:17,199
bit of a walkers and we're walking
back. It's two bottles, two bottles.

1384
01:33:17,199 --> 01:33:19,119
The next day we're on the street, he goes, I'm gonna go

1385
01:33:19,159 --> 01:33:21,920
in the liquor store see if I
can find seventy eight dollar bunles of wine.

1386
01:33:24,039 --> 01:33:26,640
Like he would not let it go. Now, where were you?

1387
01:33:27,359 --> 01:33:32,640
Uh? Mer bou merbou is a
it's a it's actually it's not a chain.

1388
01:33:33,680 --> 01:33:38,960
It is a spa. It's a
spa restaurant. You go in there.

1389
01:33:39,600 --> 01:33:43,439
Uh, they were fifty dollars bottles
away, seventy eight, seventy eight.

1390
01:33:43,520 --> 01:33:46,399
But these were So there's one in
Skinny Atlas and then there's one in

1391
01:33:46,479 --> 01:33:49,439
ryan Beck and they're putting another one. I think a little further down.

1392
01:33:49,800 --> 01:33:54,880
I don't if somebody else knew that. I think there may be three locations.

1393
01:33:54,920 --> 01:33:59,159
Now. I believe the original one
was Skinny Antlas, so i'd been

1394
01:33:59,199 --> 01:34:02,000
there. How was the food?
Food was fantastic? It was fantastic.

1395
01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:06,399
That kind of price you expect to
it was awesome. I thought everything was

1396
01:34:06,439 --> 01:34:10,520
great, and it was fun hanging
out with everybody. It was fun seeing

1397
01:34:10,520 --> 01:34:14,880
all the grand kids together and my
kids and I stood with my boys and

1398
01:34:14,920 --> 01:34:16,239
I look like I'm in a hole
next to them. Because so, how's

1399
01:34:16,279 --> 01:34:23,000
the podcast doing, Uncle Bill?
Oh? Yeah, it's uh, it's

1400
01:34:23,079 --> 01:34:26,760
coming. I get all these questions. Oh, I'm sure. Oh,

1401
01:34:26,800 --> 01:34:29,720
I get tons of questions. That's
all right, all right, we will

1402
01:34:30,039 --> 01:34:31,800
close it out. Dog. I
can't wait to see you on state.

1403
01:34:31,840 --> 01:34:35,359
Wait, will be here next week? Yeah, leading up, Yeah,

1404
01:34:36,359 --> 01:34:41,239
I'll be practicing all this week.
Oh, now that you did about what?

1405
01:34:41,319 --> 01:34:45,359
They're five seven minutes we heard?
Yeah, right around there? Can

1406
01:34:45,359 --> 01:34:48,560
you give us like three minutes of
stuff we haven't heard next week. I

1407
01:34:48,600 --> 01:34:51,800
don't want you to do anything that
you close on, but I love the

1408
01:34:51,880 --> 01:34:55,800
jack rabbit joke. You did that
at the Funniest Person in Rochester. It

1409
01:34:55,880 --> 01:35:00,560
was really great. And you never
repeated jokes when you did that. No,

1410
01:35:00,640 --> 01:35:02,880
I didn't because I knew your foto
coming back. Yeah, some people

1411
01:35:02,920 --> 01:35:06,239
said that, but I wanted to
keep it fresh and new. And if

1412
01:35:06,239 --> 01:35:11,359
this is gonna go somewhere. You
gotta keep working on your material some way,

1413
01:35:11,640 --> 01:35:14,840
and you're not always in the mood. So when I write something down,

1414
01:35:15,439 --> 01:35:18,960
I gotta keep it. Like going
out to uh dinner with an older

1415
01:35:19,000 --> 01:35:23,199
woman, you know, I'll usually
have a Jenny Lader dirty Martini. She

1416
01:35:23,359 --> 01:35:30,800
has a Captain Morgan and Insure.
Hey, Bill, I'm really excited to

1417
01:35:30,800 --> 01:35:33,039
be here though, but last week
I got to tell you what. I

1418
01:35:33,079 --> 01:35:36,720
started a new job. What's that? I started my first porno? Really?

1419
01:35:36,840 --> 01:35:45,680
Yeah, I play the husband that
leaves her work for Dougie Fresh.

1420
01:35:46,800 --> 01:35:57,880
I'm Bill Murran. We'll see you
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1421
01:35:57,920 --> 01:36:01,359
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1422
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1425
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1427
01:36:23,279 --> 01:36:26,239
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