Hey, look it. Hey, look he's it. Hey look bro,
I forgot that I one of I don't remember which episode it was, but
I started it off with the Big Show intro. The Kickson just said,
well, it's the Big Show, and I completely forgot that I did that.
I don't know if I forgot I forgot that as well. Yeah,
whatever episode was a couple episodes ago it because at the very end of the
episode there was a reference to it, and I was like, you know
what, you gotta switch up the intro. Man, I'm gonna start.
I'm gonna start. I'm not gonna say I forgot things anymore because it's it's
it's more usual that I forget things than I remember them. Like I'm going
to like, I'm going to call out when I remember something because it happened
so infrequently. I think that's yeah, that's proper. I think that is
proper. Oh, I just remember that I did this exactly. It's just
like like, of course I forgot. Of course, if you told me
something, I forgot it absolutely. If I've ever run into you and you
met This goes especially for viewers and listeners, if I've met you, if
I've you know, run into you in person, and we had like a
nice conversation. I'm sure it was nice. I could not tell you a
frame of that conversation. That's no way, no chance in hell. It's
not because I don't care. It's because I just cannot. I cannot retain
it. It's all gone. Speaking of it happens, speaking of a speaking
of remembering and forgetting. I remembered to install every nude mod possible in my
Tech and eight game. And so now that is a really pleasant game to
watch. I'm getting really good at it. I'm getting really good at Honestly,
I was. I was kind of fumbling with it before, Like I
was just like I was kind of okay at it. I was like,
okay, I can do combos, and like I'm all right, but I
lose kind of relatively off and on hard. Now that everybody's naked, I'm
trouncing. I'm trouncing. That's solid like that, It's like I can focus
so clearly. It's wild. What's wrong Kingston. Kingston's nodding his head in
a disapproving manner. I don't know why he's He's like the only one I
can't I can't play. I can't imagine playing Tech in with everybody fucking naked.
It's amazing that I couldn't imagine it. I couldn't imagine. I've been
holding on can't rationalize that because I feel like I would be laughing so hard
I wouldn't play the game. Look, it gets to a point where it
just the first time you do it, it's it's it is a major distraction,
but then you kind of just lock in, man, and there's something
there's something gray, there's something so satisfying about doing it in a way.
I was just thinking about this last night actually because I was playing Shoot Fight
or six. I'm still I'm still way behind because I'm doing the world tour
thing and enjoy I'm actually enjoying the World tour thing. I I don't know,
I feel like it's one of the more enjoyable. It's like it's it's
shitty, but at the same time it's so charming and uh so, yeah,
so I haven't like like I'm I'm beating the fuck out of refrigerators,
like it's so it's such a stupid mode, but uh checking, I'm I'm
so excited to play tech and I'm just not I'm trying to Hopefully by the
time I'm ready, it'll be significant, uh reduction in price. I've found
some good prices right now. But I'm excited for what you did, Chris.
I'm fucking I can't wait to slap still out some some nude mods on
those bed on those beds, you know what I think it is on Ironically,
I was thinking about it's like because because I know this sounds like a
bit, but I'm not joking, Like I'm not I know that, like
I know I did install, but like I know that, like probably some
people are thinking, oh, it's a bit that he's getting better. It's
that's true. Like my game has improved like dramatically since I've made everybody naked,
and I don't understand why. And I was thinking about it. I
was ruminating on it, and I was thinking, like, because the outfits
are so intricate and so like animated and so like very designed, that like
I think in some ways they're distracting, and I think there's like there's also
some part of me that's like I think we as humans understand how to read
other fighting humans better when they're naked, purely from an evolutionarily from an evolutionary
standpoint. I think we easily read enemies attacking us if they're not covered in
distractions. Well, I don't, I don't. I don't know. I
don't know what else it could be. I could just be because it could
just also be because I'm playing the game more and getting better. That's I
don't know. I'm notnced. That's the reason. You know, it makes
sense a little bit to it. Well, in a real world scenario,
it does. Doesn't make sense actually because there are like say, for example,
you see like there are some fighting get ups, especially in Japan and
some in China where they disguise their feet, like you can't see where they're
got what they're gonna do. It's a it's me, it's I mean,
it works in gaming right if you see your character is doing some type of
frame movement where they're gonna crouch or something is going downward, you know to
crouch block you you immediately know I gotta do so it kind of with less
restrictions, it is possible that it could be helping you. But I would
say in your scenario, there is a perversion in you that is making you
want to play more because there's good graphics and tits flopping around everywhere. I
don't know, honestly, I don't look at it. Well outside of me,
no one's even thinking enough in the game for me to be really happy
about them being naked. Though true, there's not there aren't crazy builds necessarily,
But I've always I I always loved Nina, like Nina was my favorite.
I love her even in that stupid, disgusting PS one cut scene in
Tech and two where her hair looks like fucking Spider's legs. I remember that
was one of the first time. That was one of the first times that
I saw cutscene. I was like because it was like I had that like
kind of like that smooth music with like I think she like it. She
like crossed her legs or something, and it was just like, what's going
on? What's going on here? So Nina's always just benefit I was happy
to I was looking at videos of tech and eight and I didn't see any
videos about Nina, and I kind of thought she wasn't in the game,
so and I just bought it because I just wanted to get back into Techan
and I was pleasantly surprised that she was still there. I was like,
oh, thank god that got na. Nina is still there, Nina is
still there, King is still there, Jack is still there, still there.
Six I did not play, Yes, so I haven't gone. So
here's the thing I might be misremembering. But was tech and sixty only one?
That everybody had super combos like they had like a they had like a
super art gauge? Essentially? Am I misremembering that seven only only fucking uh?
I thought only uh uh a Kuma. I thought only Akuma had one.
He was the only one that had one. I think seven everybody had
a super If I'm not mistaken? Are you sure? Am I fucking freaking
out? Dude? Am I like freaking out? Actually, because I get
I'm too lazy to install the game installed. That's not second, but there's
pretty much second. So can somebody, some somebody. That's a bit because
I used to be a major tech and fan. And then I fell off
at five because five was the last one on PS two before it upgraded to
you know, the the three and six, three sixty, and so I
fell off after that, and uh so six I played super late. I
barely played seven. Eight's looking dope. I'm excited, but again, every
time. We probably filed up this podcast to talk about how to twenty twenty
three was just too good. And I feel like I'm fucked, you know,
since it's I don't have any obligation to play everything. I'm just you
get overwhelmed and like, fuck, I'm just going to play a little more
street Fighter. And I guess this year is looking at man somewhat similar,
but a bunch of stuff coming out of nowhere. Your Wild Divers exploding out
of nowhere, and now apparently the Battlefront collection they're they're releasing, they're releasing
the old battle for battle going on with that. What's funny? I just
bought Battlefront two uh on because it was it was a dollar, it was
a buck something on CD keys, and I was like, old Battlefront two
on Steam for like a buck something. I just bought it. I literally
just bought it two days ago, and I'm like, are you fucking you
waited until the last possible minute, just by sheer coincidence. That is so
good, fucking so dexcited to play all fucking multiplayer with that ship again.
That I was cool mass. I was massy at Battlefront one. I was
very good at that game because I would just throw my lightsaber with Vader and
it would I moved. See, I totally. I never was so over.
I never played the original battlefronts. I missed them entirely, Like those
are really yeah, I know, because that was like, well, I
was contribution whatever it was on PSB. That's what you're thinking of resistance,
resistance attribution. Yeah, so, I mean there was something. I don't
know what it was, necessarily, but I think because Battlefront was Star Wars
and I just didn't care about Star Wars. I just didn't. I don't
like there was really It wasn't until I think the Force unleashed on like p
s three and three sixty that I decided to be like, oh yeah,
maybe I'll play a Star Wars game, you know what I mean. And
everything before that didn't really matter to me. And also because I mean I
had I had Halo, and I wasn't really in the market for like another
sci fi shooter for in a series that I didn't care about, So I
missed. I missed out on them. So I'm actually like looking forward to
like play them. I feel like I'm in a weirdly unique position in that
respect, where like I feel like I'm one of the rare people who just
doesn't have nostalgia for this and can actually just as a news that's actually kind
of interest because I liked not to the Old Republic with no nostologia attached at
all. That's a that's a good because I was about to say, curious,
that's a good point, but literally there. They finished Culture two very
recently. I finished that game. That game story is unbelieveable, like one
or two, Like yeah, one and two, both of those stories are
too good to be attached to a franchise that has gone through the ups and
downs of Star Wars, Like it's too good to be attached to that franchise.
It's like, fu dude. They could have made the movies about Cultur
and the movies would have been amazing. It would have been infinitely better.
That's the problem that the Old Republic is so much better than any of the
other in my opinion, I think it's leaps and bounds better. I just
just that it's unexplored, and that makes it cool because we don't know what
the fuck's gonna happen. Like now, watching even though I'm a Asoka Tano
fan, watching Ahsoka shit, i still know at the end of the day,
Kylo Ren's gonna kill all the other people and the Jedi war is gonna
fall again. I know that, and that just makes it like watching that
stuff like, uh, I know it's gonna happen at the end. This
makes me really sad. I I just I don't know, how did you
guys feel about? Because how do you guys feel How did you guys feel
about did you see the Rogue one? For example? Would you guys see
that one? Like there's something that you know it was gonna happen. But
I found it really entertaining in the same way that uh, kind of knowing
the laura of reach and then playing it, like say, knowing that what
this is about and what's gonna essentially you know everyone's gonna fucking die, and
he played it. And I just feel like if you execute something pretty well,
I'm like it works, and I feel like what annoys me about?
I don't know. I just you know what I want. I just want
like a complete I want to pretend like nothing the last three movies and everything
that's surrounding it just didn't happen. Just do it again, Just do it
again, but just do it fucking right, Like I feel like that's all
you really need, you know, It's crazy. I think people would be
okay if they did it again. I think a lot of the people would
be like, let's just do it again, Let's do it over. And
people would be like, all right, they'd have to they'd have problem,
is Disney right and this you would have to like give it of all that
merch they have for it, give all that bullshit they have for the fucking
that three series. And they're like, we're not, that's money we spent
that we have to get back. Yeah, that's how they wouldn't do it.
They'd have to change so many of the rides and ship like the rides.
I was thinking about that, Yeah, yeah, yeah, because they're
making another movie with Ray. They're making a movie what's it called? It?
Like a time movie with Ray? Why are you just is this?
Well, she's a Jedi order And I really wish that I did it.
I'm be honest, I wish. Oh so this is a this is a
there can continually there's a sequel. Yeah, I'm so. I couldn't.
I can't. I can't properly expressed how uninterested I am in seeing that.
I just I just it's bro. You know, it's crazy. You know
it's crazy. I'm not gonna see it opening weekend. I'm not. I'm
not. That's that's crazy. That's crazy. I'm not gonna weekend. I'm
gonna I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait till I get all the info I
can. Then I'm be like, I guess I'll see it now. But
Dave Filoni is headlighting it, and that's why I'm happy, Like, oh,
Dave Flone, you made he made freaking Clone Wars. That's like the
most revered Star Wars stuff ever. I'm gonna that's cool. But also this
is this is a ship show. Ultimately, you can only work with what
you got, you know, and uh, masters can do really well.
But it's I don't know, Yeah, it's Star Wars is just a very
strange It's a strange series to me because I just don't really have a connection
to it. But there are things about it that I like, I liked
Kotor, I would I probably would have played more of it if it didn't
break, if the game itself didn't bug on me, and I wasn't like
locked into a into a problem. Uh what was the other one. Oh
my god, fucking I just said it forced on Leash. I liked a
lot too as a game, so like, I don't know, like I
I like some of it. But it's it's funny that you bring up that
you brought up what is it reach and uh Rogue one, because that was
all I was thinking when I was watching Rogue one, I was like,
this is a reach. This feels reached literally reach. It's it's pretty ridiculous.
It's pretty ridiculous how reach that that movie is. But yeah, I
don't know, we'll see, dude, they're doing it. Apparently they're doing
the Fall of Reach in the in the Halo TV show right now, and
it's just oh, no shit, yeah, but it's man, and it's
like, I don't know, damn, so weird. They're doing all this
weird lip service where they're like they're saying places that were in the game.
It's like, oh, visit grad Relay. It's like, oh, I
remember with a a Grand Really was that was when they first Yeah, I
get it, and it's just all wrong, and it's just I'm really I'm
really I'm really curious to see, like how how they're gonna say how they're
going to fix this fucking show if they ever do. I don't. I
don't think I dude, it's doing well apparently, Like apparently, like people
if you talk to random people on the street, like like people who aren't
online, they'll be like, hey, you see you watching Halo. It's
pretty good. I'm like I realized that too, right, Like that went
the problem I went to. I went to it was like at the Rose
Bowl or like what the California Bowl whatever it's called, right for a Star
Wars one of the Star Wars nights, the anniversary things. Dude, the
amount of people that were there is an it was an unbelieve like the place
was jam packed to watch episode six, like jam pack, And I'm like,
dang, if I was on the internet, you'd assume that people really
don't like Star Wars that much, and not out here in the real world,
people love this shit. Even with MCU movies. I mean, they've
definitely sure, no well here and you like go to a screening, yeah,
and it's packed. You're like, well. The thing about that is
like there's no question that Star Wars and the MCU have gotten worse, but
people still people still like a lot of people, like people are still going
people are still going to love them. You know, I have my own
feelings about the MCU, like I don't care about really. I don't care
about it really, but like I like I you know, I have a
connection to those movies. I remember going to see them every year, like
with a bunch of friends, and like, Endgame was sick. It wasn't
a it wasn't a great movie necessarily, but like as like an event that
was pretty fucking sick. That was cool, Like I appreciated that. And
so you're obviously going to have people, like millions of people, but that
that blew my mind where I was like because Jalen's dad was telling me about
it or not Jallen's dad was telling me Jaalen was telling me about his dad
was reaching out to him. He's like, hey, they got Halo on
TV now and it's really good. And he was like what, Like,
Jaylen didn't even know there was a show. J is Jalen lives a very
removed life from a lot of stuff, and he's like then he comes to
He's like, Yo, do you see this thing called Apple Watch? And
I'm like, Jalen, what are you talking about Jalen lives in like I
would say on an adjacent plane where like it's very like every now and again
we'll sync up with his understanding of the like like recently, like he he
texted me, he was like, hey, let's get on hell Divers.
I was like, I'm a sound that you know what this is so quickly,
but yes, we'll go on. We'll we'll get on hell Dives and
then it'll be like, you know, you see they're making watches out of
smartphones now and they're like, that's been it's been about five years now.
He would know he's current. He's current in the strangest ways. Yeah,
how do you know what hell Divers two is? And at the right exactly.
But he's like he's not like someone that like wants to be asked.
I only play things I really think are cool. Like he's not just like,
oh I heard about this, this seems cool. I'm gonna try it
out and that's it. Yeah, I mean it must he's probably better with
things if you had that, because I think before I became a content,
content person, I was at peace. I just liked what I liked and
like people shouldn't have like whatever. I like this though, even though it's
still kind of that now, but like I wouldn't have to see a tweet
about oh I really like this thing and then like fucking eighty nine people come
out to the words and just shit on what I like. And I'm like,
all right, well, yeah, thanks, I guess it's pretty Yeah,
you guys tearing down things ignorant? I fuck, I wish I was
ignorant about a lot of stuff. Man, if you can think about there's
a lot of media if you could take back, if you could just have
it zapped out of your brain and not know about it, and you just
probably feel because there's something about like even some of the I imagine this is
how most Star Wars fans are. Anytime you think about Star Wars, you
kind of have this probably what if feeling or like what could have been like
oh this thing instead of just like satisfaction. And imagine if you just never
watched. Imagine if you were just you knew, you knew the latest trilogy
was gonna be asking you're like, I'm just not gonna watch it, you'd
probably feel a lot better. He's like, I just I'm not gonna watch
it. I reach I reached that point. I reached that point with with
Halo in the last couple of years where I was like, you know what,
there was a time where it was in the sun and now it's not.
And I'm fine with that. In fact, I'm really glad about it
because it means I get something that fucking stupid kids you don't deserve it,
don't get That's it's kind of how I feel that. I was just like,
it's just like, it's like, all right, I guess it's over.
Uh, we got it. It's it's same thing we were talking about
last time, about like uh uh the x Men, the x Men cartoon
and having like superheroes with thick asses, you know what I mean. And
now that's gone. It's just like, well, sucks for you, now
I ad it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You get the hand TV
show with this random Asian child who has no bearing on the story that is
somehow forced into the whole thing for no fucking reason. Meanwhile, I got
the top tier ship. Sorry, he didn't sucks for you. Didn't we
didn't have to see a master chiefs asshole like we're good. You open the
fact that they spread his cheeks open in the show is crazy, Like there's
a scene where he gets a they showed chiefs asshole, they showed his sphinter
and a little bit of the pink insides where getting he's getting a spartan rectal
exam and on on and I quote Reach City, Reach. I couldn't believe
that when I saw It's like, what city on Reach is this? Oh?
It's a Reach city? Reach City? Fuck you? What this is?
That? You could have just made something up at that point Reached it
has just been blown up, Like the entire planet has been blown up.
After that hour, where are we Reach? Light starts coming out the floor
like the anime, and it's like, what's going on? And everything blows
up? Dude? I like that. I like the idea that. I
like the idea that the Covenant finds Reach and then they're like, how'd you
find us? It's like, it's the only city here. It's literally what
the city for? Reach City? And we ended up here there's only one
place called Reach City. I could not believe that ship Reach City. Yeah,
god, bless, that's pretty that's pretty bad. It's fucking horrendous.
But reaching that fan it's hard nowadays, bro. It is. I mean,
it is when they're stretching out. He's right, and you got the
company shitting on what you love too. There's a lot of things you're like,
I wish I'm afraid of, say, for example, Mega Man X,
I'm a I'm actually afraid if they were to ever continue that series,
because I just they already kind of they it was really iffy and PS two
era where they made it three D and I'm like, this is weird.
Let's be real, let's be real. I played all of those games.
They started veering at like X five X up to X five. In my
opinion, solid X six is starting to get a little weird. X six
was really cool because you got to play as pretty, but it was veering.
But to me, that's when the thing started shifting quite a bit.
Just it was still good. Six was still good. Seven and eight are
fucking don't exist to me, really, And I swear the moment you definitely
thought Vibrator Man eventually like that's how crazy the enemy's got. It was like
Vibrator Man and Bill Doboyd and you were like, what what the fuck is
this? See that was Mega Man, Mega Man. Every single enemy had
to be have man at the end, and that was getting They were getting
retarded. At least on the X side, they had a little bit more
liberty. Most of them were still animal related, which is, you know,
an interesting choice. Somebody I think has a fetish, you know,
you know, looking at a Yeah, I'm not gonna go there, but
yeah, had to fight Negroid Man twice. You begin, this is weird.
You begin, you begin to lose the purity of the glue that holds
franchises together. After a certain point, you know what I mean, like
that things were Things are meant to end. Good things are meant to end.
The whole point is that they conclude, and then you can be like,
oh that was great. You know, no one's thinking about like,
oh man, I wish they would reboot. I love Lucy, Like why
why would you want that they? Did you know that there's a Did you
guys know that there's a Fraser reboot? Did you know this? Yeah?
I heard of it and I ignored it, fucking idea until yesterday that this
existed. I ignore it. Now you have to ignore it? No,
Yeah I can't. Yeah, I didn't know about the Fraser reboot. Chris,
No, I had I we didn't talk about it nothing, or if
I didn't know about it. If I didn't know about it, I forgot
immediately once I was told Niles, I'm gay, and the Niles Niles,
I'm going to say the N word in the middle of Seattle. I wouldn't
say that's dangerous because because you guys being Fraser fans is so weird. Because
don't put that on me. Don't put that I'm a Fraser fan because I
was raised by an old woman who was a Cheers fan. So that's why
you're a Fraser man. You're a You're a frigger is what is what they
know? So Fraser, I don't know. I don't well, let's not
bring race into this. I don't I like Fraser, fine, I don't
love Like it's not I wouldn't say I'm a fan of Fraser. It's like
I I watched an episode. I've seen an entire episode before, and I
was like, that wasn't that wasn't bad at all, but like it wasn't
like The Nanny or like like I was a bigger fan of like the Nanny
even where like the adjacent I don't know how you guys put up with her
voice. Bro, I don't know, it's it's awful. I don't know
how you do. The show is really funny, but her voice is awful.
I mean, she can get like I don't want to hear her say
anything, like I'm not into I want to. I want to. I
want to hear her. I want to hear her read. I want to
hear her read the entirety of the Declaration of Independence. I would hire her
explicitly to do that. I would sit there naked. I would sit there
naked in a hotel room with her, and she can She'll be reading the
Declaration of Independence. I'll be like, yeah, keep reading, keep keeping
read it again. Declaration start? How does this start? Because I'm hey,
George Washington, uh Independent? Now hey, everybody starts? It just
starts, Hey, everybody, Hey, everybody YouTube intro. What if what
if you? Everyone is going on, what if you opened up the Glorious
of Independence? And even though it's a sheet of paper, a gift plays
and it's a gift of George Washington walking up to a cartoon woman and chloroforming
her and then dragging her off. And then it says George Washington started to
the thirteen United States of America when the course of human events, it becomes
unnecessary for one people to dissolve the political brands which have connected them to with
one another. The earth stations to which the law of nature. Literally you're
saying God's entire entire entitle them on England. England doesn't have rigs mankind requires
that they should declare the causes which impel them to stop setting right now,
kill myself. You're actually you just reading it. It reads kind of good,
though you don't give credit to these fucking dusty ass friggres man coming.
They were all they were all Look look look, look, look, look
look. Some of them are racist, but not all of them. You
know, well some of them are, not all of them, none of
them. None of them were abolitionists, but they were racist. Correct.
The correct framing of that is they they were most likely racist in all likelihood
by nature of their surroundings in their their specific time. No, that's what
I'm saying. Like, they were probably not all like extremely bigotive, but
they definitely had slaves and they weren't about to let them go. But they
were like there created equal you know, there were people there that wanted them
to do the whole thing. But they knew that the whole country. I
know. Yeah, like if they did all created equal and then they were
like we got a free blacks. Also an like there is all frasier.
There is a charitable there's there is a charitable interpretation of it where it's like,
well they needed the South, they needed the South to win against England,
so like, yeah, yes, we'll play nice for a little bit.
That is a charitable interpretation. Like whatever, it's fine, It's it's
so long ago at this point that I don't I can't care, like like
the people who like being George Ryon was a piece of its, Like I
don't know, man, the dude was like the dude chewed on lead for
forty forty five years. I don't know, Like he's probably ectively man,
I don't mean Hamilton bro watching that long. Actually yeah it's a hammy and
I'm here to say not a very long document. Yeah, I hate figures
because they're gay. Oh but you But we were talking about losing things,
things that last too long, like lose their the purity of the glue that
holds them together. I even noticed that in Halo with Bungee at the end
with Reach because like all it used to be, like all of the vehicles
there was a clear naming convention to distinguish between between uh you know, Covenant
and human, and like the humans named all of their vehicles after animals,
and the Covenant named all their or we named all the Covenant vehicles after like
apparitions and like kind of like supernatural like ghosts, banshees, Revenant wraiths.
And then the war the humans were all like warthogs, mongoose, scorpion,
fucking raven, pelican, all that shit. And then it started to get
Like in Halo Reach, you were like, oh, we're going we have
a space ship. We're gonna have a space battle. What do we just
like, ah, saber, just call it a saber. It's just like
like a saber tooth. It's like, no, didn't the space stuff always
have like duppert like weaponized names though sort of like it's so like space has
had like weapon names. What I'm saying is like you could see you could
see it starting a little bit. It's like it's not too bad yet,
it's not too bad, and then it gets and then it gets and then
it gets fucking ridiculous. And that's what's going on with Star Wars and and
all the other all these other things that refuse to die. I would like
my favorite things to just rest ideally forever once they've hit a peak, you
know, like I don't need the same ship over and over again. Who
the needs that? That's yeah, you know, they would be really smart
to do the Oh you know what I heard that the there's a show that
has Daredevil or not there has a king Pin in it right now? What
is it? Yeah? Yeah, it's called Echo. Yeah hey, and
then the sub subtext haronld or something that Echo the dolphins. There's a show
with k dolphins, show with king Pin in it, with Kingpin as the
main antagonist. That's actually real. It's just a fat guy underwater that he's
the he's the Villain's just a fat, dead guy underwater and he's like so
he's eaten so poorly that his decomposing body is ruining the fish's ecosystem and that's
what makes him the bad guy. Yeah, yeah, that's that's the whole
purpose of you know, they gotta bring Echo back, man, for real,
they bring next gen Echo. The dolphin would kill a next gen Echo
the Dolphin would fucking murder. If you brought that back, everybody like,
what the fuck this is happening? Why I have to play this? And
then you gotta put that character in Fortnite. Come on, man, you
put a fucking dolphin, a dolphin with a fucking gun, Like I like
the idea that because I like the idea that, because Fortnite characters have to
be humanoid. It's just echo the dolphin, but like with arms and legs.
No, it's not, no, no, no animation dolphin. It
just echoed a dolphins animation. So it looks like it's swimming, but technically
the frame data is invisible what it really would be. So there's a it's
the motion of the character is a human like the frames are human. But
but it's a dolphin swimming animation wise, and everybody's like, where is its
head? I'm shooting in the head but it's not taking critical damage. Do
you guys remember wrong? Do you guys? The dolphins famous Uh? Do
you guys remember echo the dolphins famous phrase? His catchphrase from the games?
What was it? Like? I want you to I want you to guess
you guys will never guess this. This is the craziest ship ever, I'm
sure something like humans are friggers or something like that. I like, it's
my close No Echo the Dolphins. Famous phrase that he says at the end
of Echo the Dolphin one notch the Dolphin to Echo the Dolphin one is I
am a dolphin. And that's how the that's how the game ends. He
turns to the camera and he says, I am a dolphin and that's the
entire phrase. Mm hmm. Can you imagine that it is coming back to
that, coming back to play right now? It's not I beat to definitely
too. At the end of the two he just swims away and there is
oh, there is What are you talking about? This is the same This
does happened to me again. It's people are telling me this game is and
I'm saying there is a second one. I mean, it's definitely in the
middle of third grade talking about this game. Nobody's looking at me like I'm
a fucking man. Man. I'm like, you guys, didn't Echo a
Dolphin. It's a real game. You stop aliens and they're like, what
are you talking about? You play as a dolphin? You like, you
go collect suff and you eat fishies and you stop aliens, and they thought
you said you told them you eat fishies. Yeah, you wonder I thought
you were saying. That's why they thought you were crazy. That's why I
could recharge. There's no guy, dolphins. Fish is preposterous. Yes,
absolutely, it's insane. It's insane to call fish. It's insane to call
fish fishies. For sure, as a third grader, it's kind of okay,
No, it's now. No, you get beat up, and for
that you should have thrown off the highest like youthanized. Do you guys think
you would have been euthanized? You think you guys would have been like thrown
off the cliff if you were born in Sparta? Yeah? Or you think
would have made it? Yeah, no way, there would have been like
this, can't see something? Anyone I know would have made it. Yeah,
how do you even how do you even determine this ship? Like what
the fuck did they I know that you Okay, there's obvious deformities that they
were just like oh yeah, then they would just throw them down as hard
as they possibly could. But then like what about people that Yeah, imagine
truly really with your whole heart, really conceptualize that experience. You are you
have. You are having the most traumatizing experience probably ever in being born.
Right, You're being born, all the disgusting everything about that that's unpleasant,
and then a grizzled guy looks at you, frowns and then tosses you off.
You're going skydiving before you even understood what the sky is and how you're
plummeting at the will of gravity onto jagged rocks. And that's the entire That
is one hundred percent of your life. Your life is trauma, even the
technical percentage wise, even like I understand it's gonna sound crazy. Even if
you were like in a concentration camp, right and you were starved for like
four years and killed depending on your age, that's like like maybe thirty percent
of your life. You know, if you were like an adult by the
time he got in there, you had a decent amount of life to you
had some pleasures. You had some like nice days, you had like probably
friends that you had a good laugh. Imagine plummeting to the ground before you've
ever laughed. That's so great. That is so insane. That just did
that concept. It's crazy, you know, like a concept that's wild as
a concept. Yeah, in reality, it's nothing. It's finite. That's
super finite. Whatever, gods awesome. I hit him off a another rock
and he's fall down. I would call a corner pocket and I'd hit him
off a rock in a fucking direct corn of the ocean. But like the
babies off clips, because what they were fucking they weren't crying. A baby
was just looking up at the sun. They were like, a baby's dumb.
They talk and they would throw it at the possibly could and then see
what happened. I like the idea that a baby is stupid if it's not
crying, like like it must be like you're born and you're not crying.
You've just you've come into this world and you're not immediately crying. What the
fuck is wrong with you? Off the cliff you go? You should be
crying because this is hell. One one hundred oh man Spartan kicks, bang
all Spartan kicks. That's not crying, You're like, oh, you're dumb.
Let's move on to Let's move on to some questions from our audience.
I wear a Patreon dot Com slash a snark tank. Remember one dollar.
One dollar gets you early ad free access, so if you're listening on Spotify
and you're being interrupted by forty different ads about I don't know, joking,
powder and adult diapers. I don't know. I don't know what it is.
You guys, I don't know what it is. You guys buy powder
for joking, brook hook me. You don't use it. You don't use
You don't use powder for joking. You know you don't. You don't need
it for real. When I jelke powder, yeah, you to use you
use it happens. You get you get a warm a warm towel, and
you place it over your genitals, and then you leave it there. You
get almost hard. You don't get harder, you get almost hard, and
then there's a series of stretching exercises. I used cool, but gunpowder specifically
I proud of. Personally. I also joke in the opposite direction. I
try to flatten my dick out. Yeah. Oh that's actually smart because it
is all about girth, you know. Yeah, so I'm making it really
wide. You don't need to hit the back, man, you need to
feel it. You need to fill the hole. Right. I've joked more
than I'm proud. I've joked more hours of my life than I'm proud of
it. Meet Jude. I can't stop it. Really, Like sometimes I'll
get on a joking. I'll wake up, I'll wake up, it'll be
ten am, and I'm just like I'm joking, and then by before I
know it, it's winter. I've been joking for thirteen months. That's pretty
cool. That's pretty cool, man. Goddamn it's a hotest some questions.
You frying pork with that horse pussy rode in pretty cool? Christ Uh?
The reason jityon so, he says, the reason Jideon never posted the DP
caught video is because he's a born again Christian. Please lease check his channel.
What the fuck is that? Is that real? Sounds like sounds like
a grift to me. Yeah, I mean there's no way that's real.
Yeah right, Christians are not Can I say something? Christians are not Christian?
Of course, they're just not the I think the athetics and name only
the I think they like the aesthetics of Christianity or like the the presumption of
like having dedicated yourself to something deeper than yourself without actually doing it. Like
there's I have never met in my life. I've never in my life met
a Christian ever actually like sincerely, Like everybody's saying, oh, I go
to church, it's like, yeah, okay, okay, you go to
church. Nice out of dedlock family you have, by the way, that's
sick. That's really cool that that nice. Good job. Oh man,
I have some family that are that legitimately. My grandmother where she passed,
actually was probably the most even when it came to the subject of death in
the way that she behaved was actually like, we're not sad here. This
is a celebration. They're moving on to paradise. So she wouldn't be distraught
in a way that even when like, say, so my uncle's passed,
and I was like, actually, very like, oh wow, she genuinely
believes in this ship because everybody else you see crying their eyes out at the
fucking funerals and stuff, And I'm like, why are you sad? They're
literally going to fucking paradise. They just hit the lottery like you think they're
burning for all eternity. Not, it's still sad. It's just well to
hear the thing. Why is it sad? Because your time with them on
this plane for x amount of time is cut short for a very extremely finite
amount of time and then there's eternity. I mean, it's still sad how
because you're like, oh, well, now as long as I'm gonna be
do you feel when like, are you crying your eye out when like,
you know, your family visited you and they go, get back on the
plane? Leave? Are you depressed for fucking years on it and leave Jamaica?
I'd be satishit. Did I see my family for a while, you
were, you would be crying. I cried when I left my Grandma Jamaica.
Yeah, on hundred percent, I cried, and then when I went
to London that I haven't seen him in years because you never know when you're
gonna see him again, you know, yeah, but why no? But
do you see do you hear your language? You say you don't know when
you're actually going to see them again your language meaning do you mean like you
don't know when you're gonna see them again in it within a recent amount of
time or do you mean like in general or in general in general? So
like I'm saying like, well I'm not I'm not Christian, right so like
for instance, right now, like but see your emotion makes sense, but
like them right like because you know, there's still because no matter if you
have faith, there's still a bit of doubt in your mind obviously because they're
still humans. You know, believing believing one hundred percent is still a fucking
nearly improbable thing. Yeah. The thing. The thing to me though,
is just like, the thing to me is just like, dude, you
can't just sort of do this, you know, it would be like if
it would be like it would it's not even just really it's just like,
oh, hey, I'm a vegan, but like I'll have chicken on Mondays
And it's like, well, yeah, that's not that's not what that is.
And it's okay, that's not what that is. Why do you feel
like you need to call yourself a vegan in the first place if you know
you're just not doing that. I understand that people contain multitudes, nobody's just
any one thing, but like it's just it's just very silly to me that
people would do that, and especially as especially as an excuse for this where
it's like, oh, yeah, I don't want to share this video of
me catching a pedophile because I'm a born again Christian? What why happens?
I mean, I do see that I do see that he has only two
videos on his channel, and uh, you know, like do let's be
real. People do get wrapped into this ship. Like I I've known one
of my and I will say one of my closest friends. He became a
born again Christian when he was going through some drug issues. It really helped
him. Once you got better, he kind of realized like I'm being of
I'm being insane, and I'm gonna go back to, you know, the
person who I was, and he wasn't for most of his life he wasn't
that person. So he went back to the person he was. Can you
imagine He's like, I'm gonna go back there's something, Can I ask you
something? It's like, I don't know if this is just me being I
don't know if this is just me being a little unfair. I just realize
my life was off. I'm gonna use more Mathrek. Thanks forgetting anytime.
Bro. Do you guys feel like sometimes and I'm not saying all the time,
but like on occasion, this will happen where like I will see somebody
go through not necessarily well, I'm not go through. That's the wrong word,
because I I don't know what they're going through necessarily, but I will
notice a character shift in the sense that like, oh I am now very
very very religious, right that kind of immediately strikes me as like what the
fuck did you do? And I don't know why I feel I don't know
why I feel that way, but like immediately I'm like, what the fuck
do you think? What? What do you what? What are? What
did you do that made you feel like you had to talk to the universe
or conspire with like life itself to be forgiven for it? Probably I get
I get that, but like I think that's true for most people. I'm
not saying this of anybody that I know personally, by the way, Like
I just I see it sometimes where it's like online right where like somebody will
be like, oh, I'm suddenly like a born again Christian. It's like,
what did you do? Man? What did you do? What do
you do? What do you do that you needed to know that, you
needed to believe that you just had to go into like a weird wooden booth
and talk to some guy for like two minutes and say, a couple of
hair hail marys to be cleansed at it fair. That's Catholicism right strictly to
that. So the thing is, I would say what and why right because
I know a handful of people and I see it on TV, uh watching
n id Fiance people converting to get pussy. That is a major factor for
a lot of people. Oh I belong to this whatever, so I'm gonna
convert and they don't give a shit about it. But two afternoons, I
always feel like, I always feel like it's so disrespectful. Like I'm watching
a guy go to the Philippines or whatever, and then the dad's like,
you can't marry her unless you become Muslim, and then this redneck dude's like
sure, And I'm like, do you not feel insulted that this guy clearly
doesn't give a fuck about religion all and just wants to have sex with your
daughter? Like does that not? Even he doesn't care as long as as
long as he says the magic words. The dad's like, cool, now
you can you know, pathetically have sex with my daughter because you're you're nothing,
And he's happy, and but a lot I've known a guy who became
a Jehovah's witness because of that, and I'm like, all right, you
know the guy too. You know the guy too. But some guy I
can to judaism to get a girl, and he broke up with the girl.
They were gonna get married and shit, and they sped up and I
laughed at him for it was ridiculous, and he was better for a little
bit. Then he realized, oh, yeah, that's absolutely the stupidest shit
ever. And I was like, yeah, that's really fucking dumb. I
could do it. I think people people get that's so stupid. I just
feel like people should feel so disrespected in that sense, like oh, I'm
gonna convert for you. That means you don't fucking care about this thing,
right exactly. That's kind of how I feel about it, where it's just
like, yeah, okay, what I don't care. Sure, I know
you have a problem, but like I feel like they should. They should,
but like I like, I like the idea that they should, but
they don't. It makes me feel like they don't. It makes me feel
like I'm getting something getting away with something like the idea of just like,
wow, you really don't give a ship that I am not. You think
I'm gonna pray? Bro? What the fuck I'm pulling my dick out the
dirt right now, to you out the dirt, I'm giving you the filthy
surper dick ever and crazy. Take you with a smile. You suck bit,
you suck hey man. Yeah, I just to me, that's to
me, that was never a bad that it's a sign told episode about that
too, where George can converts to fucking Latvian Orthodox or something, because he's
just like, yeah, Orthodox, that's yeah, because because I don't think
they could use a real is that a real religion? I don't think so.
Well, there's there's Eastern European Orthodox Christianity, so probably like they look
very it's very similar to Catholicism. Oh it is, it's real. That's
fucking I thought they just made up like a realistic sounding name of a religion
for the show to not offend people because it was on network television. But
I guess it's real. But yeah, And his whole his whole justification was
like, yeah, I don't I don't care, like it makes no difference
to me, but I could. First of all, I could never respect
myself so much. You respect well, I mean, but yourself to what
like you just have to sign, You just have to pretend to a god
for pussy. It depends there is nothing. They're not lying to anything.
Well, like I'm lying to the girl. No no, no, you're
not. Let's be no no no, no, no no, because let's
be let's be real. She got with you, no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no no no no in this,
in this, in this scenario, she got with you before you were
a part of that religion. So clearly she doesn't. It's only her parents
that care. She was like, hey, I like you a lot,
but we can't be together because you're not I don't know whatever. That's not
but that's not what it is. It's it's it's about the fact that like,
oh, it's always like, oh, well, my parents won't won't
sign off on this unless you're like I don't think. I really don't think
that a relationship between two people in that context. I don't think the spouse
cares whether or not you're genuinely lat being Orthodox, I think, or like,
I don't know, I sick with Latvian Orthodox, but like religion,
huh, I think. But they think if they truly believe they well,
well, I mean that's kind of that's kind of the thing where it's like
it's like half and half. Yeah, sure, like right, it is.
It's definitely one foot in, one foot out. That's definitely true.
Uh. And you're right that most of the time it is because the parents
of the family wouldn't would reject them. It's most of the time is a
parental thing. I've I've I've once went on a couple of dates the girl
that was and me, being the nice guy that I am, I did.
I could have pulled her into Hell. I could have. You know,
she was she was on the what is the world I'm looking for?
She was at a crossroads. Her parents were like pastors or whatever the fuck
they were in the church. But she was having a you know, what
is it called christis of faith? She was having a crist of faith.
She was hanging with me. I could have easily pulled her into hell,
right, I could have been like, burn, let's burn together. But
I knew, just like I was like, I know that she will regret
this at some point, especially and she might have to make that hard choice
to completely disrespect her parents. If we ever started, I was just like,
nah, you get closer to God. Kind of a thing. Well,
I'm just not like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not a
monster. I wish I was. She was so white, she was as
a black man, as a black man, as a black man. God,
you have to always make white women parents upset. That is that is
part of us existing. You know. It was the reason why I'm here,
you know what I will say. So I invited her. I invited
her. I went to my friend's wedding with her, however, many years
ago, and I was like, oh God, I was gonna pick her
up from her house and I was like, guy, I do not want
to meet her fucking parents, because you know, they're immediately probably gonna start
foaming at the mouth and barking at me and shit. But actually they were
like they were like I was like, oh, there are some real Christians
right here, Like these are the real nicest thing. They weren't Mormon,
but they seemed Mormon. If you've ever met like Mormon's on average are so
nice that it seems cult like like we're like, you guys are so nice
that it's actually creepy. But that's all that. They were so fucking nice.
And I was like, oh, wow, you have no problem with
me that like I'm a degenerate with holes in my ears and tattoo on my
neck and shit, and they were just so like, welly, hey,
nice to meet you and so great. Now maybe they threw up after I
left, but I don't know, dude, it was Mormons are more.
Mormons are strange because like, honestly, like some of the some of the
coolest people I've met have been Mormons. I don't know what that's about,
or like have at least were Mormons at some point, you know what I
mean. It's strange. Two same two of my so one of them,
so they're both siblings for me. You've probaly seen for Christ as well with
siblings for me, the same people. One of them she became one of
my best friends and knowing her because she was Mormon, and the other one
is like a big brother to me who's always had great advice on my side
as a Mormon. And they're both no longer part of their religion. MM.
But it's insane how often because Mormonism is very racist. It's like extremely
racist. I mean, they are homophobic. They's hilarious. It's like bad
hilarious though, Like there's it's like our skin is a result of basic going
against God. Yes, it is a system where sinners. It is fucking
phenomenal. And Bro, there's this girl in my high school misogynistic, which
is crazy. I mean the Mormon, the Mormon. My first exploded to
Mormon. Yeah, was the opposite of that mentality. Absolutely, Yeah,
it is so not any of those things at all. Mormon by so opposite
of those things. I'm just like Mormons are kind of lit Mormon by name.
And then there's there's some There's the real ones. There's like the Mitt
Romney's right, that fucking marry and live in Mexico and have like ten thousand
wives or however many wives it has, and then you have the other ones
that are just kind of like floating around with the marker. They really don't
truly because the modern churches don't teach that stuff. The modern church doesn't teach
the origins or just hey, how did our religion get founded? Well that's
not obviously, that's never gonna be taught because if you learn that, you'd
be like, oh, this is the dumbest fucking thing ever heard of my
life. So yeah, you're just rolling with it, and I knew some
people like that too. The only part was I wonder if she was being
nice. She said that she couldn't date that she was sixteen because we're freshmen,
and so like, I asked her to a dance. Now, to
be fair, she was. She was cool, but I mean, we're
fucking freshmen. She late bloomer is all I gotta say. Not me sorry
early bloomers. What I gotta say. Like her boobies were just fucking like
they filled up the classroom, and I'm just like, hey, you want
to go to dance and she's like, I'm sorry, I can't date to
I'm sixteen. Maybe that's the true thing. But at the same time,
maybe she was saving me of heartache of being like my parents absolutely would not
like let me lay hands on you in a big fair I would have been
like fair, you know, yeah, you know, it's fair enough,
but not for any race, not not for any racial reason, just because
of the person the kind of person that I am. But oh yeah,
it's not your race. It's not your race or religion. It's just your
personality and everything that you stand. You suck you. I don't like how
you laughed at that video of that guy dying in the microwave, and so
like, I don't know, y, I've never got that. I've always
got, I've always gotten. I was kind of like, I have a
boyfriend. I have a boyfriend, a boyfriend, and I'm like, all
right, cool. And then a few of those girls I still got.
I still bang them, but like, you know, that boyfriend rejected in
a way that like it really fucking stung, like like really like I definitely
got it when I was younger once, m M. You know when I
was then, I got her back because I fucked her best friend. I
got back the best friend. I was very proud for a moment, but
I was. I was a way worset person when I was. I was
way worse than I am now. Because I was, I was very spiteful.
He's different now he pretends like he's not. I'm not spiteful at all.
What the are you talking about? Something? You're very look at that,
look at that, look at that there it is there's look all so
much. That's like Spike Lee were called you Spie Lee. Yeah, Spike
crazy. You're like a s I can see the spike growing at you.
It just does not I've never been I've never been rejected ever, just because
I never I never really put myself out there. I never gave that.
I never gave them the power to reject me. You you sound like,
what do they call it sigma sigma energy, that you saw like one of
them sigma motherfuckers. I understand what it sounds like. I'm not even because
I beat them up afterwards so they would be too scared to reject me.
I understand. I understand that that sounds like, I unders say what that
sounds like. But I'm not. I'm not even remotely kidding. And it's
not even like a point of pride. It's it's literally the opposite. I
was just like I was literally just too nervous to ever approach anybody, and
so I just never That's all it was. When you were younger, that's
what it'd be like, Oh, we're too nervous to approach girls. So
I never really got rejected. But now it's like, no, I'm too
much of a sigma and I'm too cool. It was like, I like,
no, I think what it is. It's like it's hard to I
don't know, it's just weird, and maybe I don't know. Derek can
relate to this maybe not, but for me, I always just felt it
was like strange as a like I I could get girls, but not in
the way that a lot of other people like. I felt like as a
short guy, I couldn't just go up to people like I felt like,
I felt like genuine like I couldn't just do that because there's something about looking
up to people like I don't mean like, I don't mean like as like
a premise, and I just mean like literally, like the physical feeling of
looking up to somebody and hitting on them feels strange, and it just doesn't
It's like it throws you. It throws me off entirely. So I just
I wrote off that entire thing. I was just like, I'm not I'm
not gonna approach people at like a bar or something. That's not gonna be
my goal. First of all, I look young as fuck. People are
going to assume I'm like sixteen all the time, so that's not gonna help
me. I'm also short, so that doesn't help. And had a baby
face since that was until I was like twenty five twenty six, So like
that, the whole approaching people strangers was just never that was never on the
table for me. What was on the table for me was like I would
make I would just meet people organically and like just sort of showcase my personality
over over a period of time, and then eventually people women would be like,
oh, hey, I like you, Hey, can I show you
my pussy? And you're like, yeah, I guess right exactly, that's
what it is. But I could never approach somebody at a bar and like
hit on them. It's like, the fuck am I gonna do? That's
interesting? I didn't really, It wasn't until I started becoming a YouTuber.
I didn't know. I didn't notice, and I legitimately I did not even
think about me being short like on average, Yeah, I didn't. It
didn't occur to me because in I guess in my realm, it just it
wasn't a thing. It was never like I noticed some of my friends having
massive gulf growth spurts. But then so most of my friends on average were
around five eight five nine, so they weren't that much taller than me,
So I didn't really even pay attention to it. And most women, most
women were shorter than me, Most of them were that I knew, were
smaller than five six, so I just didn't think about it too much.
Yeah, well, for me, I always had crushes on taller girls,
so like the only people that I would want to approach are people. Was
like, and it's not even necessarily that it was like, oh, this
is such a problem. It's just like it's just something. It's things that
I noticed in social situations where like I don't care about the fact that I
am short. I care about how being short impacts the small conveniences. Like
I remember I was at a lot of Pierce's birthday party at a bar and
it was cool. It was like it was like this really loud bar and
it was like very loud, and it was a bunch of people. It
was like Eddie Burback and Jak and some other people. And these are tall
motherfuckers. These are tall people. These are not short people at all.
And so like I straight up cannot hear them as they're talking to me because
they're literally just too far away from me to hear them. And so like
I'm just like I can't, I can't hear you. You know what's funny.
But what's funny? What no, you can What's funny about that is
because like their girlfriends are my height, and I could hear them perfectly fine,
So I always get along like a little bit better in those environments with
people with people's girlfriends. And then that comes across he really messed up,
that comes back. I'm not joking. I'm not so I didn't say that.
I just said, like I can hear them. It's like, oh,
I can actually talk to you and not like scream or not fucking folks
like, uh, dude, I was talking to Eddie, and I like
Eddie a lot, but like he was talking to me, and I was
like I just had to guess what was being said the entire time at that
party, and it was just like this is I wish I was taller.
I just I was talking. I actually I do because uh liked, most
of my friends aren't tall like that, So it wasn't a major issue when
like that would happen. But when we hung out with ethan Ela that one
time at that barcade, Oh yeah, they're a lot taller than us.
Like I think he's like six foot. Ela looks like she's like five ten
five eleven or some ship or maybe your shoes made her that way. Ela.
Ela was just under ethan and maybe I said, maybe it was their
shoes, Like you can see them standing next to each other anytime. Yes,
he's a but he's like he's he's pretty much six foot. I don't
know that actually looks small. I don't remember that because like say especially,
yeah, they're just they're just they're a lot taller. They're a lot taller.
And my thing is I don't wear like there's people that wear shoes that
have thicker platforms or thicker soles that'll give them a little bit of a boost.
I'm always wearing chucks and stuff that are like have nothing, and so
I don't get that boost at all. And so people when they were it
was loud in the bar fucking music. There's a goddamn DJ in one of
the fucking rooms, which I I can't the the idea of having a barcade
and a fucking DJ, Like, do you think fucking people that want to
drink and play video games want to hear loud ass music. It's stupid.
It's the stupidest fucking thing you can do, because it's like people that want
to go to a club go to a club, and then people want to
go to barcades drink beer and play video games. Want to do that,
and I can't fucking hear over the music. But anyway, it was I
just get upset that La La Proper had two barcades, and I'm like,
how is this like one of the most famous cities in the fucking world.
It's right as the most the best concepts concepts. There was a place I
went to, a place called Battle and Brew in Atlanta, Georgia. It
was the coolest fucking place I've ever been, to my wife. It was
a giant and there was a bunch of private rooms you can have parties.
There was gaming chair, people playing CSGO, people playing Doda, people play
in the huge place, a huge bar. I was like, how the
fuck is this not over here in the West Coast. It's just like and
it I don't I don't get it off track capitalizing on that ship. It's
it's really it is truly fucking baffling bikes no sense to me. Yeah,
I don't know, man, b Yeah that is that is also true.
And we can't afford to rent. It's not your game. Cause I'm curious
because like I feel like when we all hang out, I feel like most
of our friends are shorter. Yeah, so like do you. But but
so when when we're at the bar, all right, like a barcade,
can you hear us? Yeah, fine, that's not what that is active.
I guess we've never been, to be fair, we've never been.
I don't think we've ever been to I don't think us or our friends have
ever been to a bar at the same place that is as loud as that
bar was. That that was the that was easily, without a shadow of
doubt, the loudest bar I've ever been in by far, like by a
lot. Like it was basically like a fucking concert. And I was just
like, yo, this is too loud for a bar. Man, It's
it's a cool bar, it's not. But like it's just like, dude,
lower it a little, not like crazy, it could still be loud,
and like you could just let me have a conversation without having to yell,
because then everybody's yelling and then it's twice as loud. Fuck. I
can't do that. That's the worst. That's the well, like I'm not
I'm not fucking I don't have any sensory fucking issues. It's just it's just
objectively stupid to be in that environment. Yeah, it's never good. Yeah,
go into clubs and shit, and you gotta fucking literally yell in people's
ears so they can hear you and literally leaning into them, yell in their
ear, and then you lean back to them and they can lean into your
ear and yell Like that is yeah, fucking stupid environment. I specifically bought
ear plugs specifically for it, like specifically for like, I have a bag
of ear plugs that I use for like when I go out to like bars
and stuff specifically, not necessarily because it's like not because it's too loud,
but because I noticed, and I noticed this at at at Bar Sennis specifically
because me, Paul and Jalen and our friend Justin went a couple of months
ago to Bar Sanna's Man Barsanas is super fucking loud, and I noticed when
I was trying to talk to people, like if I plugged my ears,
I could hear them perfectly. Fine. I think it's just because like the
type of you know, the type of frequencies that that mutes versus the type
of frequencies that go through is like just it works. You're like, I'm
just giving that a lot of reverberation, which is that's the worst part of
being those environments that there is so much fucking noise bouncing up and around.
I know, you can focus on the vibration that's directly hitting you, right,
Yeah, I can hear. I can hear fucking completely clearly in a
bar with like earplugs. I'm like, I have a bag full of them,
and now that's just like, all right, I'm going, I'm going
here and I'm gonna use this so I can fucking talk to people and actually
hear them. Because it's crazy. I have a better solution. Just I
don't. Fuck I just I don't, like, I stop if people that
want to go to these really fancy places where it's all loud and shit,
I'm like, I'm not going. I just don't. Don't. I'm like,
I just want to go somewhere we can. I will go to a
less popular play so we can just hear each other and just chill. Like
I can't do that, ship, dude, I I can't be in those
environments. They're just I don't how the fuck is that enjoyed. I don't
understand how that's enjoyable, Like, why how is this better than having drinks
at home. I don't get it. I literally don't get it that.
It makes no sense to me, Like are we out to get like strange
pussy as that is that's the point of being here. I mean that's not
because that's literally the only being at a club and show. Okay, so
well there you go. That that changes it, so because I have no
reason to do that at all. So yeah, there was no by I
don't go to those things anymore. There's no reason for a married person to
be at a club, like there's like literally, yeah, I'm speaking of
I'm speaking retardedly because now I'm thinking, like, of course I'm not single.
That's the only reason you go to those places. Like I realized that,
Like that's why for long and everybody, everybody's like, let's go to
the clubs, and I'm like, guys, I'm already dating somebody. I'm
out. I'm out. I don't want to go meet people anymore. I'm
fucking done. I don't everybody everybody there, you'd rather die. I don't
get any die. It's true, I'm not. I don't want to I
don't want to stand I don't want to stand up for three hours barely be
able to move, have a bunch of dumb noise and get rejected by it,
and then fucking talk to somebody whose boyfriend's gonna show up and try to
fight. You know how many times that's happened to me at fucking clubs.
Or I'm at a club and I'm just having a symbolicon like somebody has to
get tattoo. I'm like, oh, that's sick tattoo of a digit mono
something like, oh that's sick tattoo. And I'm having a conversation with them,
and me being myself, I make girls laugh. That is my nature
because that's all I've ever practiced doing growing up, to get pussed making girls
laugh. Then her boyfriend comes to food focus this and it's some fucking four
foot eight Mexican dude and I'm like, dude, I can kick you so
hard you'll grow. He's like, man, you'll beat to me vanag and
I'm like, dog, get out of my face, wan, fuck you,
you fix my scoliosis. He oh see, I don't feel like dealing
with that. I'm sorry, but like, yeah, yeah, I get
it. Yeah, I remember I got trouble that only had that happened to
me once in in fucking in Vegas. Actually when in Vegas, when we
went, when Derek uh I went. Is that one of the ones that
I skipped? Because I remember I skipped one of it. That was night
that was then. Do you remember the night that we that me and Jayalen
went out till like seven am or some some fucking outrageous time like that.
It was. It was that day where like we were out dancing till like
six am. Literally, like the sun was kind of like his fucking nuts
and we were just dancing and we were drunk, and I was just dancing
with the girl. And then some guy came and like was like, Yo,
what are you doing. I was like, I don't know. I
was there. I was there. I remember was that that was like it
was like in an upstairs environment. It was like it was like a roof.
To was like it was like a roof I was there. I remember
I didn't go the first night for whatever reason. I think I got like
had too much to drink during the day and I didn't want to go at
night. But yeah, I do. I remember. I told it's coming
back to me now. I remember that there was an issue. There was
there was the conflict. I completely forgot about that. It was well and
I was like, hey, man, yeah, I don't want to die
in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah, we're dancing like fucking jackasses. I remember
getting some dumb bitches Instagram. I don't I don't remember. I remember remember
that too, something yeah, some something there was. I don't remember faces,
but I do remember there being an issue that good times, man,
good times, fun times. Yeah right, it's got. It's gone to
another question. We were I don't know when. We just rambled for a
while. John John Malkovich died last week. He says, hey, what's
up, small, smaller and big talentless bitch. Damn damn Jesus Christ ship
dude, that would hurt my feelings. I wasn't getting paid for you telling
me that. That would hurt my feelings if you weren't literally paying my bills
telling me this question, fucking dumb cunt, thanks for paying my bills,
you asshole. Not you, you idiot cunt, you fucking jack fuck jack
fuck is such a funny. That's like my dad would. My favorite one
is rat f work because it's so mean. It's such a mean phrase.
It is. It is pretty it's like like rat rat bastard is pretty good
too. It's like very specific. So my dad, my dad would sometimes
he would call me a dip ship and I always I thought that was like
the funniest When I was a kid, I thought dipshi it was like the
funniest thing I ever heard, because it's the image that that invokes is so
fucking disgusting. I think of like the the dip you know, that fucking
candy that yeah, weird medicine stick thing. Yeah, fun dip. Yeah,
I always think of that. I think of that stupid thing and then
dipping it and ship. That's what dip for me. Dick Head's a good
one too, because dick head. The idea yeh head is a dick is
so fucking funny, like like for some like like a SpongeBob level of transformation,
where like is like, I'm not a dick head in your head is
literally a penis that's the funny idea to be. Yeah, anyway, he
writes in Yeah, he says, what the hell is keeping Sweeney from pursuing
genuine passions that don't involve digimon cards. It's funny that he brought this up
because you are I mean we talked, well, we're I we probably shouldn't
talk. I'm not gonn. I'm not going to reveal all of it right
now, but I've been planning to do something that's actually like a passion product
I might have had for a long time. It does technically have to do
with it does technically have to do I mean, has I love like yeah?
Yeah? Should I love? Yeah? I have an idea to do
something similar to that. Are you starting a digimon cover band? I'm not.
Why would I start a fucking cover band? Cover band? That's one
song? That's one song? Where the where the digit wan cover band?
Guess what we're gonna play? Guess Uh. There's gotta be two versions of
the theme song, right, like, there's gotta be songs. But I'm
not doing that. That's so much. But is the I've never heard the
original? Probably an original version, like, because I'm sure it's not on
Yeah, did you mona? Did you know the monsters? Did you?
You don't have to be racist, but okay you didn't have You didn't have
to do that part. You could have just been like, I know what
it sounds like. We all know what it sounds like. It's the iconic
song is you have to go dig champions. All right, let's move on,
let's move on, save ourselves. Absolutely didn't have to say the hot
souper Roden. He says, hey, k hello, Christoph Strand, Strand
pistol, Thomas Schweeney and direct Schwartzman. I don't know. I can't read
those as my government mandated participation. Yeah, I don't know as my government
participated mandated Wait what as my government mandated participation. I'd like each of you
to come up with a wrestling persona, your name, your signature move,
and the theme that plays when you enter the ring, and if you're a
heel or a babyface, it's all up to you. I've already I mean,
I've had this completely thought up already because my homies in the day we
were gonna do there's the there is a thing called South Paul Regional Wrestling that
was made up. It was like a fake wrestling promotion within the ww universe,
and a lot of wrestlers had these fake personas and we were gonn to
do a version of that, and so we had, of course, with
the first thing we come in woards the Sexual Wrestling Federation who cares whatever,
who cares what it's called. That's what it's called. And uh we had
the alt Rider, who was one of our uh he famous famous heels.
Of course it came on the Khakis and the tiki torch. Can you guess
what the alt Riders finishing move is? Just take a guess. Think think
racist, think Hitler, think of think of something that like sounds like a
finishing mo. Yeah, think of a finishing move that that a rasis the
final Yes, bravo, bravo. So he had the final solution. I'm
really good at really good at it. I just like when I give I
just like when I give you what it feels like obvious clues to me,
and then people get it. I feel I get happy. I hate when
I try to give people. I'm like, I'm throwing you. I'm no,
I'm putting it on a t ball for you, and then they'll be
like, oh, you gotta play taboo. That's the next time I was
just I was just thinking that shit. Taboo dude, taboo dude, our
friend Tyler, Oh yeah, we Oh my fucking god, have we not
talked about this other show? We have not talked about it. That was
unbelievable. You tell it, you tell it, you tell it. Okay,
So what happens one time? So what happened is every so often one
of our good friends, Nikki's again other good friend Indie butt Knife Tyler,
we all hang out every so often. So Derek came into town. So
everybody was like, oh, we gotta make sure we all hang out with
each other. We went to the Christ's house and we were we had pizza,
we watched we watched Critis and Derek Masacre. People got the Final four
and we're listening to the Big Iron on his hip while you guys were murdering
people in the hospital in TA four. And then we played taboo. Taboo
is a game where you have a word and then there's several words below that
you cannot man, you cannot say those words, but they have to guess
the word at the top. So one of the words was cereal and what
he said was it's like soup. And our friend Ziggy almost had an aneurysm.
But I thought you were going to talk about the other thing. This
one. He's reading up to it, he's leading up to it. The
second one they had was the word was mermaid, and I forgot how he
messed it up so bad. She was like, it lives in a sea,
and he was like, oh, the fish, the little fish.
Yeah. It was no, yeah, but Derek, you do it,
Derek, I think remembers. I think so what it was was. I
think the clue was that, like the the word was mermaid. Yeah,
and he said, Ariel is what or something? She said what she said
yeah, And then he's like the he guess he guessed the title of the
Little Mermaid as the little fish. Basically, he said, he blew my
essentially mine. Yeah, he said, like there is It was such a
like I say, te ball moment, I'm gonna put the ball on the
tee ball and you just have to hit it and you won. And so
it's like, Ariel is a what and he said a fish? That like
that? You're how could you how could your mind go like, not mermaid,
it's in the title. It's in the fucking title and his mind went
fish instead of mermaid. Where it's like, that is the first thing I
would have said, that's the first That is the number one thing. I
just I just like that. It's so fucking fun. That was the funniest
I laughed so hard. The little fish anyway, fucking man, what yeahs
name? Oh yeah, wrestling name? So oh sorry. So my persona,
it was kind of I kind of stole from a guy. There's a
dude that was named the Velveteen Dream, and he was kind of just In
Rodge and it's kind of a prince kind of character. So I came up
with one called Ebony Lust, and I essentially, I actually, I literally
have my tights in storage right now. It's like this Galaxy universe shit,
it's all it's gay as fuck. But I essentially was just gonna be an
extremely, extremely gay character. And in my universe, you know, I'm
just I'm doing illegal shit that I shouldn't be doing. I'm basically I'm I'm
the most stereotypical shit that like probably a conservative's nightmare of what he thinks gay
people are doing all the time. That's what I was gonna be doing.
And I don't really remember my finishing move though. It would just probably be
like the I don't know, the dick sucker, I don't know, there
you go, what you guys got it? Yeah, there he goes.
I think I would be the hispanic attack and the idea is would be like
a like panic attack kind of, so I'd be really really anxious, would
be like a thin trail, really anxious Latino, and I would want the
problem is that sounds like a finishing move. That sounds like a finishing move,
the panic attack or the his Like maybe you want to be like the
hispanic panic or the panic. Yeah there you go, that's good Hispanicer.
I like, yeah, yeah, that's that's not bad. And then I
would go in and I would uh man, what would I do? I
don't I don't know enough about wrestling to really like play with this in the
way that I wish I could, but I would I'd probably, Yeah,
I think honestly, I think I might just pull out a gun. I
like that, you panic shoot somebody. He's gonna do what he's gonna He's
gonna do the Baldwin. He said he's got he got the ball. No,
he shot him. He fucking shot him on accident. He shot him
with his head blew up. What the kind of bullet has got that gun?
Holy ship? Is that a fifty cow Is that a pistol with fifty
cow bullets? God damn? He blew his head off. So you're the
you're the hispanic panic, Hispanic panic, and you panic and accidentally shoot somebody,
and you're exactly the Baldwin the ball, the bald dwiny yeah, the
ball. This is called the bald Yeah. Yeah. And the music that
plays, the music that plays when I walk in because I'm Hispanic is of
course the dragon ball Z theme. MA threes are found a deep energy track
Dragon No, it's it's it's like it's like dragon Dragon, what the Dragon
Dragon? Like one to play because it sounds so silly. That sounds sounds
like basically you give me love that towel live and Chris is coming down the
fucking thing, shaking with panic, fucking to his head like me, you
know what. I like the idea of someone just coming down to just like
just screams like like like you know, like almost like a woman's getting tortured,
like that type of scream. It's just echoing screams and you're just walking
down. You're walking down into doing all your gloating. Everybody's like everybody's looking
at you. You're like, as I'm screaming, someone's screaming and murder.
It's so piercing, Like what happening one little kid's eyes and ears are bleeding.
I don't know my PERSONA persona would be would be uh, sludge,
It will be sludge, And what happens that end? I'd enter the mat
where like I would get summoned right, he like sludge is a bitch and
he can't do anything. All of a sudden, a big, oily slick
would start forming in the middle of the ring, and it'd be like then
it'd be like the Sands theme starts playing, and then I crawl out of
the ring. So are you just are you just the sludge? A creature?
Did you play? Did you play Street five or five? Yeah?
I'm pretty much in a colleague. You're just a person. Dumb, just
dumb, dumb, dumb ad HD road And he says hello, Uh,
I don't He says a word here that I don't understand. I can't even
pronounce this. What would you do if you found your significant other poking holes
in condoms or otherwise tampering with birth control? Leave, strike, striketh and
leave. I would laugh because my medication makes me impotent, So it's awesome.
I don't know if that's the right word. I just like I just
uh, I mean stupid. I think it makes it infertile. Well is
that wait? I feel like it's used in that context before? Maybe I'm
like, what does that mean? Let me make sure impotent is the The
implication of impotent is that you can't get hard, is what it is.
I think, unable to take the effects of action. Okay, so you
can use it in the context. Okay, right, so within the context.
No, so that's not I guess that's the wrong word to use.
But since I'm on t RT, what it does is it your body stops
producing sperm, and so because since your your body stops producing testosterone, and
and then because you know you're getting from an outside source, and because of
that, it also so I shoot blanks and that's awesome. It's fucking awesome.
But then you know, if I get off of it, and then
you know, my system will start back up, you know, blah blah
blah blah blah. But right now it's fucking cool. So I can just
I can just paint the walls and just che can poke as many. First
of all, I don't even know what a condom is anymore. Bro,
It's fucking I don't even know what the dude fucking would probably be. I
don't even know if I could finish at this point because if at a because
of like it's it's just it's so you know what I'm saying, it's been
a thing, not a thing for so long that I wonder how I want
to test that ship out. I'm gonna be I'm gonna see all it before
with the condom. Bro. Honestly, it's been a it's like going to
work. It's it takes something that you would do for free and it turns
it into a job. Oh, it turns in it's just like okay,
I got okay, get nothing. I get nothing out of this except like
the visual of it. Really, you know, I feel like that.
Remember, I think it's like not that bad. If you've always used them,
I imagine it's probably like yeah, I'm always take them off midway through
and live still. But like they were so insane bro one time any shorts
gamer, Yeah, so what they already said? Yes they already yeah,
yeah, fair, No, you're you're right. Yeah, you know you're
right. Like I said, never admit to a sexual assault and uh and
take your condom. Never apologize. I never apologize to do it also,
but never like how he says that it makes it better. Don't apologize,
don't do whatever. I apologize about it, but if you do, I
don't apologize, bro. Yeah yeah, only towards apologize. Bro. I
had to kind of disappear literally one time, like it literally within her baby.
I don't know if it when they're fucking uterus, because it was gone
and I was like where is it? Like, get it just bruhn.
It was gone, and I was a little worried that I was getting taken
for a ride, like, Oh, this chick's gonna fucking try to drake
me. She's gonna fucking she's gonna like tie that ship up or whatever.
And uh, apparently you said that's what happened to Drake. He said that
he he got his I would have I would have had her put to sleep.
Man, That's what I'm gonna say. I want to Drake, don't
you just have these people killed? Like? How do you not? You
can? You can easily assassinate someone with Drake money. I don't understand they're
gonna they're gonna know it's you though, that's they're gonna know. I don't
think so they're gonna know, it's like one hundred and fifty million. You
don't have to be anywhere hear that happening. It's just a freak accident.
She got into an accident. That's not gonna be baby moms went missing.
No, but well, I'm saying in the context of so, when when
did Drake find out need to find out after the kid was already grown?
Or when did you find out was small small very so the kid was already
born. Yeah, well, see, all you gotta do is pretend like
that, like dude, coincidences do happen. They do like everyone Drake,
dude would his career, his career would ruin his career. Drake did it
if Kanye was not, If Kanye literally collabing with a fucking neo Nazi did
not ruin his career, Drake assassinating his baby mom would do nothing. And
actually, I think because no, I think his career has been based off
of him constantly saying, fucking insane ship baby mom going missing after dude,
you're crazy would lead to some eyes. Let's put it this way. Let's
put it this way. Let's put it this way. The fact that you
think that would ruin his career is so asinine to me when we have witnessed
them. We just recently witnessed somebody get caught with beast reality and lolly porn
on their on their hard drive, and their fan base doesn't give a fuck,
Like, let's be real about what you think people, It's not he
is not. Look at there you can put you can just say I think
he did it, but there is no evidence. They wouldn't give a fuck
about that. Now if he actually showed up and was like hey girl and
shot her in the face and you saw, that's a different story. Wheelchair
he runs over her. He's like, he doesn't drive by, doesn't drive
his grassy wheelchair, like he wheels down the road in his wheelchair. That
and he's playing God's plan. He's playing God's plan because he's like, hey
man, I'm sorry, have a fucking air drop like that crazy. That's
like old school. That's like that's like old school, like wild West,
Like we're robbing this bank and it's me, Jimmy who did it? Like
just taking taking credit is running. Yeah, that is so crazy. That
is so that that was real is something that I don't think we think about
often enough, Like that there was there were career criminals whose job it was
to be criminals, and everybody just understood it. They would take credit for
it. I talked about this, I talked about this on the on the
I talked about this fear. I talked about this on sacred Symbols or consolation
or something. But like, I'm pretty sure, like I wouldn't be surprised
if, like, like I thought of the idea of just like Jack the
Ripper, you know how like he killed a bunch of people and then he
killed a bunch of women. Then he stopped, right, he just kind
of stopped one day. I like the idea of because he was an anonymous
killer and nobody knew who he was, but they gave him a name.
They were like, oh, it's Jack the Ripper. I like the idea
of thinking that, like his name was really Jack. And he saw like
the report and was like, oh shit, I should stop ship. That's
like mega that's like mega coincidence. Says nuts. But what if it was
some cop that figured it out? But he's like, there's so much paperwork.
I don't want to deal with all this. So he just said he
was like he's the one that put it out there. Was like Jack the
Ripper, like kind of like, I know it's you, bitch, stop.
I know it's his name's like his names like Jack Ripland or something,
Jack Ripple. His name is Jackary Rippling. Yeah all right, I feel
like Jack Jepper. Honestly, they got him person and they just got him.
We go for one more guys? Yeah, well no, moss huh
what have there be games like that? Oh? Painted black? Painted black
tune. I see a man butt and I want to paint it white.
Rode in It says, hey, fellas, paint it white. I see
a man butt and know to painted Why that's stupid. I might have to
do that. I might have to do that. So what was the other
one in the last episode that we thought was pretty good. We'll probably get
to pants down, I'll jack you off for I forgot how it goes.
I don't remember. Yeah trap, trap, Yeah, trap, that's right.
Okay. So this guy writes rights and he says, hey, fellas,
you get to fuck any of the street Fighter girls, but the condition.
But on the condition you come on on one of your co hosts while
they're sleeping or unaware if you want to fuck them again or a different girl,
you gotta come on a co host again. Look, honestly, I'm
not doing it. I don't know I'm not doing it well. I mean
I can lorder that ship, I can loader that ship. So the thing
is, you're gonna have your socks on. I'm gonna come on your socks,
all right, So that that's just it. He's not gonna get on
you forehead. I'm gonna imagine. Can you imagine waking up with someone else's
come on your socks? Can you really conceptualize that your socks are crusted over?
Getting them off of you is dangerous? Be so upset, but you
gotta go into the bathroom, turn on the fucking hot water, wait till
the steam liquefies to come in the sock first before you can take it off,
because they are jagged. That is jagged. So I'd be really upset.
But yeah, you know you gotta do man. I've really been digging
that French bitch and from six man, like I just like I love I
love Judo. I really like Judo. So I'm just like, damn talk
about Ann. Yeah, I'm really digging. Bro. I'm knocking that down,
Bro, I'm knocking that down, Bro, I just like you can't.
Bro, I'm knocking that down. Bro, you truly feel like you
can satisfy her. I'll figure it out. I'll put I'll put every last
ounce of me in it. Bro, You'll die. You literally have to
go ahead and go. I'm knocking it down, Bro, I'm knocking her
down first. And then it's to Lee that's you're not making a pass him,
So you gotta go chu, Lee, Dan, you gotta go mercy
because you you ain'tettas her. There's no way you're gonna there's no way.
I'm dead body out the bedroom and throw me in a dumpster. And I'm
just gonna like like like literally like just by like pinching, like pinching your
shirt like she's just gonna like throw you away like you're like you're lint.
She's gonna just tost you with the trash. That ship is crazy to like,
there's no way, like because I would want to try to, but
I know it isn't impossible to try. Possibility, there's no way at least
to try, at least at least manon. I know I can just dress
nice and I have and then I have a chance. I have a chance
at like because she seems like a high class snob, right, But I
think I got this and I'd like her throw me around a little bit.
She can throw me, she can do that'd be pretty cool. I would.
I would do it for Cam. I think, yeah, of course,
culture. Culture, you gotta I gotta go where you're coming? Are
you coming? You can't fund come on someone's forehead. That's might make it
a laugh at the moment, you know, that's man. That's like,
I don't think I see. I don't think I could be friends. I
couldn't be friends with anybody anyway. I couldn't be friends with somebody who just
came on my forehead while I'm getting mad thinking about hilarious, like I literally
getting up. You would not hilarious. You would not, I'm lying lying.
I would go berserk, dude. You would. You would look like
you would. He would. He would go blind like the berserker and just
fucking scrolls on my fucking house. Dude. You guys are played fucking what
was it? Was it? You guys are play black ops where you're just
like you're fucking like seeing ran and just on a rampage everyone's shooting and you're
just still going and killing everyone. That's such a crazy mission. Dude,
that's such a crazy mission. It's nuts. Someone coming on your forehead is
so you. I'm I'm changed. Changed. If if come touched Kingston's forehead,
he would roar, I'm sure of it a mighty one too. I'd
be mad if my own come touch my forehead. I can't even imagine.
I know people have come in their own face and I'm like, what are
you doing? I don't I just in Are you how deep into the moment
are you that? Really? Gotta know? What is that? If you're
if you're sitting down in your chair, I think you did that on purpose.
That's how I feel. I feel like, if you're laying down,
it's possible, because I will say I I once I ricocheted my shoulder one
time and then it was like never again. Too close, too close to
the sun, bro to, that's that's never happened to me. You never
even like I hit the shoulder and I was like, never again. I've
never come. I know people that have come on their tummies don't stomach,
and I as funny as that's the funny, tell me it's filling up your
your belly. But you just filling up your belly. But if you have,
if you have an indy, what people have come dead in their own
face and I'm like, how have you done that? Sometimes it happens,
man, Sometimes there's a lot of P s I. Sometimes there's a lot
of P s I. And then you take your face and come that is
happening. You don't come in your own face? I just I just if
you have. I have had the Derek I've had. I have had the
Derek experience where it hits my shoulder and I'm like, whoa, yeah,
that we gotta we gotta Never that was it? Never for me? I
was like, exactly, never again. It was I remember exactly where I
was. I remember exactly. That's how never again it was, that's your
nine to eleven. I never forgot. I didn't forget that. I'm like,
that was way too close. What if? What if let's get the
funk out of here, Broa, what you got? What you got?
No, that is very stupid. Let's let's move on. Ricocheted, Colm,
what if you ricocheted come off your shoulders out the window and into the
twin towers, and then that was what that's move on? I would be
a little impressed. I'm not gonna lie. I'd be if you took down
if he took down the twin towers with a stray. Come, that's crazy,
you're coming that hard. No, you hit the plane. That's why
it all happened. That's why it happened. And so you hit two planes.
Wouldn't be funny, wouldn't it be wouldn't it be wild? That was
you edging? You just edging caused that. What if nine to eleven was
just some kid with like it was just some kid with like a laser pointer
and he goes like, I got a laser pointer, and he fucking points
out a plane and the plane spirals into the twin towers and then he's he's
like, oh, like that, that can't be me right. He's trying,
he's trying to convince himself that he didn't do it. He's like,
the laser can't do that to a plane. That's silly, Like that must
be on purpose. So he does it again, do another plane, and
then it does the same thing to theagon too, and he's like, after
the second time, I would stop, Would you try again after the second
after the after the definitely stopped, the second time. After the second time,
I would throw that thing ud. After this, I would I would
be I would try the second time because I would be like I would in
my mind, I have to be like I have to prove that that That's
not why I have to I have to I have to get guilt off myself
to know that, like this didn't do that, and then you do it
again and then it's certainly your fault and then you're like, this is over.
I'm never touching a laser in my life. I'm never playing a game
with lasers, no Halo, no nothing. I'm only playing chess from here
on out. That's it anyway. And then George Bush knocks on your door,
you know, you answer and he's like, six, job son,
good job son, you say me, you say, you see me a
lot of greed, boy, thank you very much. Crazy. Then we
were gonna do that anyway, it's back, it's crazy, It's gonna be,
that's gonna be. Wait, we're actually gonna do that tomorrow. But
I guess nine to eleven just have a ring to it. That kind of
does. Sounds way better than nine to twelve, sounds way better than that.
I like twelve because it reminds me of Christmas with the l's in it.
We're really close to winter time. That was a weird Christmas. Get
back in the fucking helicopter, you frigger and then and then they and then
they go. That was such a weird Christmas. Man, remember that being
such an odd Christmas. Yeah, that was a rough one. It was
like, gosh, that Christmas. I was still mad about yu gi oh
like that. Everybody was just like sobbing, lots of Americans and I'm like,
god, damn it, bitch, I don't know what the fuck happened
in Doula's Kingdom. Still still is so stupid. Get out of here,
I gotta go. I pick up my Oh yeah, that's right, my
you know that one? Yeah thing? Do we have time to read through
the things or no? Uh? I really? Yeah? Yeah, I
think if we can get start, yeah yeah, let's go, let's go,
let's go. All right, these are twenty five dollars enough patrons one
the I'm sad it ended, but I'm glad it happened. Motherfuckers after I
put them in a box down under David Radden, Mick Jackal Gay, Norman
Osborne be like I'm something of a sadomist myself. That's pretty good. That's
pretty good. Amen, that's not bad. Using Swede's curtains to wipe the
sun come off him? It's good. Why do you make why do you
make the names? How do you make the names? Longer? It won't
let me? What are you doing? Why you Derek? You fucking biting
at me? Don't I'm trying to see if it picks up sound out of
my peripheral. It's scary because it just it looks like you're like lunching at
me. All right, Jack, the world's fastest MAJORI it's the fastest,
not the fattest. You clown gay z to be like, baby, why
don't you just fuck me in the asshole? I'm losing my mind with this
hassle storm my castle. Mario comes on Goombas with his new friend Fappy stupid,
pretty cool Chris Chris raaguan more like Chris gay run gay fag queer homo
come gay but cheeks gay gay peepee gum bagget un So that's that, yeah,
very, it's very mature, Big needy stinks Andy the man whose handies
are escure and dandy. Come Bob, sperm pants. Let's go, let's
go. I am the ass and I ride, and I ride. I
ride through the boys backs, through my boy's backside. I catch loads coming
off this guy, Heath Smoker selling the Lifelong family Dog for four hundred and
fifty keys on Team Fortress too. Good night, girl, I won't see
you tomorrow. Uh, these shots hitting like Ashley Babbitt. Uh Digimond took
Sweeney's libido. A homeless transfemme who has a town inside her licked her pussy
in Iambic pantameterhees. That's good, That's that's nice. Uh, Derek,
you shattered my shaka Shuri. I know what that is. I don't know
what that is. All. Get up? Yeah, we smoke in Hussein
Bolt, Dick, Toby Keith be like I ain't alive as I once was.
Uh fucking carry on with the Brittain slander. It shit sucks here,
mister pants Sween. I would greatly enjoy it if I heard you got tag
teamed by Lillian Derek's wife. Well, some of us have really confusing proclivities.
But God bless you know what is wrong with you? These people?
I don't know, man, These these are these are well, they're homeless.
You know, they're not mentally great. They're probably really stressed out.
Baller of the first sin, spumbufutters, umbrella, pineapple, trampoline, harmonica,
tornado, bubblegum, lighthouse, radiator, windmill, crowbar, pajamas,
zip line. Some one of you guys in the audience just got activated to
kill someone. I'm pretty sure that feels like a code jolly old dipshit.
I am not straight. I have relationships with men and sex with women.
I got news for you. I haven't thought about that in a while.
I can feel the warm embrace of the void calling tofa laser pistol, cipher
grab gay Peter Parker, be like, I'm gonna put some dick in your
mouth two mad six under. Uh, why do you fill me up?
Fill me up? Butthole, come gape, Just dike me down, dick
me down, jerk me off till I burst my balls? Hell the ever
do be like servers at capacity? Please try again later, don't I know
it? Uh? No need for the fire truck, sir, I'll shit
on it. What the fuck can you imagine calling a fire truck and then
be like, don't call? Don't like listen, the house is on fire,
but don't let the fire truck in here, because I will shit on
it. Like I have a compulsion. I cannot not ship on the fire
truck. I'm sorry, it's just how I was raised. The idea of
somebody shitting on a fire is so much crazy than that. But you made
that idea first. Yeah. I was like, I was like, wait
a minute, went there, because fire truck is one word pretty. Let's
let's go keep going. I'm in the I'm in the business of jisery.
I'm giving this man top. He's got a penis like an hour glass.
It's thick and kind of law. I'm in thesness of jizzery is fucking amazing.
That is it. That is an amazing lyric. So props to you
for that. Thesess is perfect. That's so good. Comes in Ivy Sweeney,
super bars being confidently wrong. Back to Tank of Comcaucade. You contained
the cracker belt for gays, Donald Trump burping on Dom's clit, clamping open
one. Your eyelids have to come on their eye eyeballs. We found loving
a homo place Rihanna, she pipkin on my pip up possum can't smell and
Chris is kind of right, fast Car, But gay, you got a
fat cock. I got a plan to bust in a queer. Been working
at the penis storm managed spray a little bit. You got a fast cock.
Yeah, that's great, that's great. Stupid average clip energy throwing frozen
turkeys off the NA two create half live zombies, just the hard r star
coffee. Hey kids, it's okay. That's the fifth time fast Car has
come up in the last two days. By the way, I don't know
why that's happening. It's the Grammys that that fucking fat redneck covered the song,
and then I brought uh Tracy on the stage because you know, you
know the guy who did the guy who did Richmond, Richmond, North of
Richmond. No after don't don't put your Yeah, let's do that one.
Hey kids, it's okay to hey, hey kids, it's okay to ship
whip acorns and cops sucked off to death by missus pac Man. I stopped
paying my rent so I could be a real fan transferm gremlin exposing people with
like those in tolerances. Ninet million job rogins of bionessing radiation not Vin Penn,
So take off your clothes, get on the floor. They won't leave
you alone. Their elbow deep agelic DM Craig, the Canadian Richard fisting and
the spare testicle parentheses. Where did it come from? It's your boy,
Shawne d Ben and Jerry's Funky Monkey. I live in Philly, and everything
you guys say iss true. Also, I just saw a horse running down
I ninety five all by itself. Uh, there are all There are human
as that theoretically crazy. That's wild. There are human I really can't conceptualize
free horses. It doesn't make any sense to me. There are human atuses
that theoretically can fit a toaster inside them. That's not conjecture. That is
just maths three x O inventing a new sect Islam where you get many two
fan boys have to blowing up the bathroom sarpentstroke and smoke and joking emoticons going
like this, Drip mh Lord of Drip, Joe Peshy killing Batman by putting
his balls in a vice. Obi, won't you blow me? Norwegian game
dev now in a loving relationship? You should? You should. YouTube's algorithm
created a children's mix for me In the first song was you got a dick
in me? Him at they mcge's wild. If that's on kids YouTube,
I'm going to I'm going to steal your bones. Uh. They were made
in a factory, a bomb factory. Clayton Carmin's knees, getting dawned on
Avvy, eating up, eating box or playing Halo. I'm hungover either way.
Painted black tune, I see a man, but and I want to
paint hit? Why switched Sleigh five eighty three? A sad guy from Michigan?
Can I get a pick? Can I get a dick pic with your
grace weapons on and one without them? Can I also get three picks of
your dick in any position? Also the Peppini Brothers and Porium Black gay Son.
Won't you come and thrust away? The straight Don Donkerson installing a faulty
neural link. Chris has had the place thunder on repeat. You gotta pay
the trolls hole again? The boys hold Gate six Shaggy voice like zooing Scoob.
Those were unarmed civilians. Rory Regge uh donating children like subscribe to Beauty
Pie uh donating children to underprivileged human traffickers. Mission failed. We'll get him
next time. Could you guys make gorilla noises for me? I need them
for my D and D campaign. I don't know. I don't know how
to make a gorilla noise good. Just defer to Joe Rogan. He's got
a good one and he's like that. That clip of Joe Rogan doing the
that's almost almost makes it okay, and he's doing all the dumb like that
is one of the funniest clips I've ever seen. Still like to this day,
its people. It almost makes it that that could be interviewing Miley Cyrus
where he's like, that'sh it's so good and it just cuts him. I
still don't know who made that. Someone randomly said that to me and I
don't know who the fuck made it. I want to know that it's an
iconic Like going around knowing that you made that must be such a fucking good
feeling, right Ah help fuck? Uh an evil lesbian home alone six enter
the homeoverse What the fuck? Oh? Home? That's so stupid? Chris,
Chris is a secret piss drinker. Uh A, shit's so nice?
I had it twice. Oh Henus John Strickland, Uncle Ben's Converted Rice Merx
eighteen eight nine. Can't Stop, Won't stop, jelk until my hips helmet
pops. Uh. The first times To Keep David presents the Piss Drinkers versus
the Uhuo Yaho's the Musical. The second shows To Keep David featuring being better
than the first ars Keith David pre Roz Blake eight ninety six, Logan Paul
has One been w W Champion ninety days, defended it once. Everybody gay,
fuck your buddy gay, Everybody fuck your buddy's ass, fuck your man
Tonight book booker t apologizing for calling hull Kogan the end word years later,
only for him to reply that he's been He's used to hearing it. Little
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Alaskan oilfield trest Texas hit us out cocks ramming everything around me. Cream in
that bussy. Come come on your face, Uh, come come only face
y'all, sue hulk tack on my ass. Here is Nikki Sigi, twenty
four year old Come Wicked nine o nine. Jackson DuPont Badly Brave Hugger Derek
duck Hunt, the vegan necromancer Bread. This is that I consent Eiury and
Prgerian Brogarian hunter Melphus won the angriest crowd and joined the view from the deli
Plause on the sixth floor, and as always round the ot our list,
the King of Haphazard, goodbye Fall. You got a fan cock, I
got sperm in my hands,