There are times when I want to pick up the phone and send a text.
There are times when I want to prove the phone and call, or
get in a car and go to his house or his job. I miss
the laughter, I miss the discussions, I miss the music, the shared
experiences. I miss so much. And there are times when I almost forget,
almost forget that he's gone. I'm James Lott Junior, and this is
fifty plus an audio only episode. I don't want to cry on camera again.
I've cried on camera a lot of times in my life. I just
don't want to. Even it's easier for me to do it this way if
I just listen to as an audio only episode of the show. Who I'm
talking about is my brother Max. Today, on January two, twenty twenty
four, New Year would have been his birthday. I'm imagining everyone who cared
about him is thinking about him today. He was larger than life. I
knew to say, what's coming, of course, it's usually right after Christmas.
New Year's right, there's it's there, and you think it would get
easier, and I yes, and I've been told grief, it takes time,
right, And I just as a show it's called fifty plus and as
many of us are losing family members as we get oldest. One of the
things about fifty plus. By time you get to fifty plus, not everybody.
Some folks people last a long time. We are living longer. But
for many of us by now we have lost a friend or colleague in our
lives. There are many of us. It is the beginning of losing of
siblings. For others at least one parent and mostly and almost most times grandparents
are gone, and his uncles are going to go. We are living longer,
necessarily saying that, but I am saying by this time in our lives,
Pettic, this is fifty plus. She give be six or seventy.
There are folks that are gone that were important to you. And this is
just the case. It just it is what it is, right, just
is what it is part of the aging process. Max was such a larger
life character that it just feels like it's he's missing, Like it just feel
it feels quieter and not in a good way that he's not here. And
I speak on him all the time. I speak of him all the time
to keep his memory going, because that's what we have to do love you?
Who are my fans now? Have no idea? Never met him.
He died right after I started to see some pieces of fame, so to
speak, some notoriety and some attention. He saw the first parts of it,
but he didn't see the life. Well, if he is watching him
heaving, he has seen at all, obviously, if he believe in that.
But I mean physically, he's not here to tell me what he thinks
and what he sees. I know he was excited about something that I was
doing. So him dying his birthday, me doing breakfast TV. It's all
intertwined. It's a weird way me Finanti died. Everything, it's all linked
together. I miss his gumbo, I miss his laughter. I miss singing
Tria Cott and Charelle songs with him. I hear songs like that, and
I just you know. And today I'm supposed to it's my office day.
Yesterday was home day and I was taking care of at home. Now it's
office day, and luckily I'm really blew me really busy, so that that
part was good. Be really busy, take care of business now. At
least he keep my mind going all right, But I will miss him,
even doing very natch. I'm saying I don't think grief hops no limits are
bounds. I would say, you guess somebody in your life you know for
forty seven years, it will take longer than it's six seven years for you
to go O my hey, race, it's just a hard day. And
anybody who was, like said, anybody in my age group can relate to
this fact. Unfortunately, you think of what could have been, like,
what would he be doing right now? Where would he be, what would
he be into? Would he be seeing somebody? Would still be for me?
Would he still be at bed bath and beyond? When you have the
job you know would have if you know I would have tried to get on
my shows and have showcases. It's just brilliance. When he came to Internet
Star, all these things just never know because it was taken away so young.
So I know, kids, I don't know what else more to say.
I'm sure there's a lot more to say, but I don't know what
to say. But I guess it's gonna be silent now and fake on him,
and I guess be thankful for the time I did half with him.
And it sounds cliche, but I guess you have to like I do.
I have lots of memories, I have tons. Those memories will have to
comfort me as I think of him today on his would have been his birthday.
So happy heavenly birthday. So my brother mys in heaven, and I
hope you are entertaining the troops up there having a good old time waiting for
when I get there. At some points, right well, we reunited.
As they say. This is fifty plus. There are video versions, of
course, in the show playlist on Jljbdeo on YouTube, but you need to
check out the rest of the audio episodes where you find audio streaming services.
If you have a brother, call them, hug them, text them,
tell them you love them. You won't be sorry.