WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.640 --> 00:00:10.640 There are times when I want to pick up the phone and send a text. 2 00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:19.559 There are times when I want to prove the phone and call, or 3 00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:26.839 get in a car and go to his house or his job. I miss 4 00:00:28.800 --> 00:00:36.399 the laughter, I miss the discussions, I miss the music, the shared 5 00:00:36.479 --> 00:00:45.280 experiences. I miss so much. And there are times when I almost forget, 6 00:00:46.240 --> 00:00:53.920 almost forget that he's gone. I'm James Lott Junior, and this is 7 00:00:55.200 --> 00:01:00.399 fifty plus an audio only episode. I don't want to cry on camera again. 8 00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:03.679 I've cried on camera a lot of times in my life. I just 9 00:01:03.759 --> 00:01:07.400 don't want to. Even it's easier for me to do it this way if 10 00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:14.959 I just listen to as an audio only episode of the show. Who I'm 11 00:01:15.000 --> 00:01:23.239 talking about is my brother Max. Today, on January two, twenty twenty 12 00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:30.000 four, New Year would have been his birthday. I'm imagining everyone who cared 13 00:01:30.040 --> 00:01:41.760 about him is thinking about him today. He was larger than life. I 14 00:01:41.840 --> 00:01:44.840 knew to say, what's coming, of course, it's usually right after Christmas. 15 00:01:45.719 --> 00:01:51.879 New Year's right, there's it's there, and you think it would get 16 00:01:51.959 --> 00:01:57.200 easier, and I yes, and I've been told grief, it takes time, 17 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:07.640 right, And I just as a show it's called fifty plus and as 18 00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:10.879 many of us are losing family members as we get oldest. One of the 19 00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:16.199 things about fifty plus. By time you get to fifty plus, not everybody. 20 00:02:16.280 --> 00:02:21.879 Some folks people last a long time. We are living longer. But 21 00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:30.960 for many of us by now we have lost a friend or colleague in our 22 00:02:31.000 --> 00:02:36.080 lives. There are many of us. It is the beginning of losing of 23 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:46.120 siblings. For others at least one parent and mostly and almost most times grandparents 24 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:51.159 are gone, and his uncles are going to go. We are living longer, 25 00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:57.599 necessarily saying that, but I am saying by this time in our lives, 26 00:02:58.759 --> 00:03:00.080 Pettic, this is fifty plus. She give be six or seventy. 27 00:03:00.520 --> 00:03:09.639 There are folks that are gone that were important to you. And this is 28 00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:13.199 just the case. It just it is what it is, right, just 29 00:03:13.240 --> 00:03:19.000 is what it is part of the aging process. Max was such a larger 30 00:03:19.159 --> 00:03:23.199 life character that it just feels like it's he's missing, Like it just feel 31 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:31.560 it feels quieter and not in a good way that he's not here. And 32 00:03:31.599 --> 00:03:36.319 I speak on him all the time. I speak of him all the time 33 00:03:37.319 --> 00:03:43.719 to keep his memory going, because that's what we have to do love you? 34 00:03:43.919 --> 00:03:46.120 Who are my fans now? Have no idea? Never met him. 35 00:03:47.800 --> 00:03:52.960 He died right after I started to see some pieces of fame, so to 36 00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:58.319 speak, some notoriety and some attention. He saw the first parts of it, 37 00:03:58.360 --> 00:04:00.439 but he didn't see the life. Well, if he is watching him 38 00:04:00.439 --> 00:04:02.840 heaving, he has seen at all, obviously, if he believe in that. 39 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:08.479 But I mean physically, he's not here to tell me what he thinks 40 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:11.840 and what he sees. I know he was excited about something that I was 41 00:04:11.879 --> 00:04:21.600 doing. So him dying his birthday, me doing breakfast TV. It's all 42 00:04:21.639 --> 00:04:28.439 intertwined. It's a weird way me Finanti died. Everything, it's all linked 43 00:04:28.480 --> 00:04:36.240 together. I miss his gumbo, I miss his laughter. I miss singing 44 00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:41.560 Tria Cott and Charelle songs with him. I hear songs like that, and 45 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:47.480 I just you know. And today I'm supposed to it's my office day. 46 00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:50.480 Yesterday was home day and I was taking care of at home. Now it's 47 00:04:50.560 --> 00:04:55.560 office day, and luckily I'm really blew me really busy, so that that 48 00:04:55.680 --> 00:05:00.519 part was good. Be really busy, take care of business now. At 49 00:05:00.600 --> 00:05:08.959 least he keep my mind going all right, But I will miss him, 50 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:15.839 even doing very natch. I'm saying I don't think grief hops no limits are 51 00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:21.279 bounds. I would say, you guess somebody in your life you know for 52 00:05:21.279 --> 00:05:26.480 forty seven years, it will take longer than it's six seven years for you 53 00:05:26.560 --> 00:05:31.800 to go O my hey, race, it's just a hard day. And 54 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:38.879 anybody who was, like said, anybody in my age group can relate to 55 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:49.079 this fact. Unfortunately, you think of what could have been, like, 56 00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:51.600 what would he be doing right now? Where would he be, what would 57 00:05:51.639 --> 00:05:56.319 he be into? Would he be seeing somebody? Would still be for me? 58 00:05:56.319 --> 00:05:58.639 Would he still be at bed bath and beyond? When you have the 59 00:05:58.800 --> 00:06:01.879 job you know would have if you know I would have tried to get on 60 00:06:02.000 --> 00:06:09.879 my shows and have showcases. It's just brilliance. When he came to Internet 61 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:17.360 Star, all these things just never know because it was taken away so young. 62 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:30.360 So I know, kids, I don't know what else more to say. 63 00:06:30.879 --> 00:06:32.120 I'm sure there's a lot more to say, but I don't know what 64 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:36.879 to say. But I guess it's gonna be silent now and fake on him, 65 00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:43.120 and I guess be thankful for the time I did half with him. 66 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:46.519 And it sounds cliche, but I guess you have to like I do. 67 00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:50.800 I have lots of memories, I have tons. Those memories will have to 68 00:06:50.839 --> 00:06:57.279 comfort me as I think of him today on his would have been his birthday. 69 00:06:57.319 --> 00:07:01.439 So happy heavenly birthday. So my brother mys in heaven, and I 70 00:07:01.480 --> 00:07:05.959 hope you are entertaining the troops up there having a good old time waiting for 71 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:09.639 when I get there. At some points, right well, we reunited. 72 00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:15.120 As they say. This is fifty plus. There are video versions, of 73 00:07:15.160 --> 00:07:20.240 course, in the show playlist on Jljbdeo on YouTube, but you need to 74 00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:25.439 check out the rest of the audio episodes where you find audio streaming services. 75 00:07:27.639 --> 00:07:31.120 If you have a brother, call them, hug them, text them, 76 00:07:32.079 --> 00:07:35.920 tell them you love them. You won't be sorry.