WEBVTT

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Hey, Hey, I'm back with
something for you to think about. Lowering

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your standards are no standards at all. I have to be real with you

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these days and times, I don't
know if people have any standards. I

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can't tell, can you. Oh
my goodness, the things people settle for

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these days. It is a shame. It's a shame. People are so

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desperate. But the crazy part is
they try not to act desperate, or

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let me say, let me say
this. They try to pretend as if

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they're not desperate, but they're desperate. You can do whatever you want to

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do in this world and fake along
the way, but sooner or later,

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the truth of who you are is
gonna come out. People don't understand that.

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They always show who they are in
their actions. What you do or

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what you don't do, you show
who you really are. Lowering your standards

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or no standards at all. In
my opinion, one is no better than

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the other, and that is what's
wrong with so many people in the world

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today. No standards. You get
into relationships based on the wrong things,

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and you keep doing it over and
over. You keep doing the same things,

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making the same bad choices and the
decisions, and getting the same results.

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Duh, what you think is gonna
happen. People are so focused and

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caught up in self that they do
not understand that what they're doing is causing

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and pain in their own lives,
self inflicted pain because of their poor choices

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and decisions. People only treat you
how you allow them to treat you.

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People treat you how you have taught
them to treat you. They don't care

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if you don't care, why should
they. So many of you get into

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relationships for the wrong reasons with the
wrong people. Sometimes you know they're the

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wrong people, but just keep going
forward. I don't know what people think

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they're gonna get. You think you're
gonna get a goal nugget out of a

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cup a dirt. No, And
that may have not made sense to people,

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but you're not going to produce a
good product from a bad product.

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The only way that will happen both
individuals have to change, and a lot

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of times that just don't happen.
That is the problem with most people.

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They get into relationships hoping people change. They're hoping people change, wishing people

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change. Some of you pray people
change, but you have no relationship with

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God. But you're praying for that
it makes no sense. It really does

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not. In order to have standards, you have to know and love yourself.

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If you don't love yourself, you
will never understand what love is.

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Therefore, if you don't know what
it is, I always told you,

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you won't know what it isn't and
because of that, you will allow and

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accept anything in your life in the
name of love. And I've told you

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many, many, many times.
People love based on their own feelings,

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their own feelings, meaning, listen
carefully. It's all about how you feel.

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It's about how you feel, what
you want, what you desire.

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I always tell you this because think
about it. If it was really based

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on the other individual, if it
was really truly based on the other individual,

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you probably could see more clear what's
going on in the relationship, because

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most times relationships are one sided.
Therefore, the other individual is showing you

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who they are by the way they're
treating you, they're speaking to you,

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they're taking you for granted, and
this and that. That is showing you

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who they are. But when you're
caught up in your own in the world,

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your own feeling, your own whatever, all you can see is how

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you're feeling, what you want,
what you desire. You're not taking notice

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to what you're getting. And for
many people, they get into these relationships

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blindly because, like I said,
you don't know yourself, you don't love

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yourself, and when you don't,
you have no standards, or your standards

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are so very low. And that's
also why many of you have no requirements.

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You let people do you any kind
of way. Your significant others treat

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you any kind of way, and
you have no consequences. You don't require

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things of them. Some of you
are working your fingers to the bone,

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but your significant other is not lending
a hand in any kind of way.

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That's because you have no requirements none. Some women they're the mother and the

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father and the man is right there. But that's because she has not placed

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any requirements on him. So he
do what he wants to do while she's

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doing it all. And don't think
for a second that that does not go

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both ways, because sometimes it does. Sometimes it's the men who are doing

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everything. They're working outside of the
house, they're coming home, taking care

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of the children, they're cooking food, they're doing it all when she does

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nothing. But it is that way
because that's what he has allowed. He

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has allowed that, and so she's
like, Hey, I had kids,

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but I really didn't want kids.
So he's gonna take care of those kids.

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I'm not doing that. He's gonna
do it because he wanted them.

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I really have heard of situations like
that. I personally know people who are

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in situations like that, and it's
just not good. It's not healthy.

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So when there are no standards,
then you have no boundaries, you have

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no requirements, no anything. That's
why so many of you go through hell,

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you go through pure hell in your
relationships because you have no boundaries.

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You're afraid to say this, You're
afraid to say that, you're afraid to

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do this, You're afraid to do
that. No boundaries, you let your

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significant other do whatever whenever, however, whenever they want to. So when

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you give a person that kind of
power, they're gonna take it. They're

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going to take it. Stop thinking
in your brain that he or she loves

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you so much when they are showing
you how they feel about you. You

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have no standards when you got with
him or her, and because of it,

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you're in an unhealthy relationship. So
many people are unbelievably unhappy, unhappy.

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But you know what the truth is, people are unhappy before they ever

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get in a relationship. There is
no happiness. There is no peace when

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you don't love yourself, When you
don't know yourself, there is none because

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people are seeking, seeking, seeking, chasing through all types of means,

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trying to find love because you don't
have that inner peace, you don't have

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that self love, so you're looking
forward somewhere else through want someone else,

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and most times you end up with
someone who think like you. Two immature

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people, two individuals who need to
grow and develop more mentally, and it's

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just a mess. Many people are
in and out of relationships because again,

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you have not yet discovered who you
are as a person. You don't know,

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you don't understand yourself. Because many
people don't even want to spend time

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by themselves. They always have to
be around someone. You haven't figured you

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out. There's no love within self. Some of you are still having pity

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parties from something that happened years and
years ago. And I'm not saying that

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things don't affect you, but how
much they'll affect you, it's on you.

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It's on you. No one can
bear the butt of your pain,

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but you. I don't care how
much someone loves you. They can't take

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your pain for you. They can't
they can't feel what you feel. People

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can go through similar things, but
they're different individuals, so you're going to

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feel differently on different levels about a
similar situation. You are looking to be

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saved and you know, changed,
and you know, rescue all types of

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things by your significant other, and
it's just not happening because they need to

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find themselves totally. You get on
these different dating sites and you're bamboozled on

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the dating sites. If you're bamboozo
in person, you know you're gonna be

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bamboozed on the dating sites. And
I'm not down in dating sites because people

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are people, whether they're on dating
sites or you see them in person,

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they'll mess either way. And when
you don't know yourself, it clearly means

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you have low standards or no standards. Some people, they are so beautiful,

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I mean really really pretty, really
really handsome, but they have no

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self confidence none, And you can
ask them, do you love yourself?

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Of course I love myself. No
you don't. You think you do,

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and you made to a degree,
but you don't in the way that you

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need to love yourself. Most people
don't because they're holding on to things that

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inhibit their growth. They're holding on
to things that cause them negative ways of

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thinking. They're holding on to things
that cause them self inflicted pain. They're

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holding on to things that suffocate them. They're holding on to things that make

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them hate themselves. They're holding on
to things that they should have let go

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long, long, long time ago. Then you get into these relationships with

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no standards or low standards, because
you all you want is love. All

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you want is someone to love you, someone to be with. And that's

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the room mindset to have because if
you're just eager for anything, that's what

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you're bound to get anything. And
believe me when I tell you, your

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significant other can see your vulnerability.
Your significant other knows exactly what he or

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she can and can't do. They
know and most times they can do almost

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anything because they know that you're gonna
always have your arms stretch out open for

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them. They know it. That's
why so many people are in relationships being

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taken advantage of and being used.
So many miserable, miserable. But you

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can't tell people nothing because they think
they are really, really, really really

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in love. And I've told you
so many times A person who love you

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is not going to take you for
granted, mistreat you, disrespect you,

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abuse you in no shape, form
or fashion, not a person who truly

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loves you. But most people can't
see that because, again, as I

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stated at the beginning of this episode, people love based on their own wants

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and desires. They're you know,
it's all about self. You're not looking

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at the other person, what you're
getting from him or her. It's all

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about how you feel, how much
you love him, how much you love

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her, until you're blind to everything
else. That's why people will do anything,

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because they're basing things, basing basically
on self without even realizing that's what

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they're doing. That is exactly what
they're doing. Anyone who don't understand the

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need for me to elaborate, elaborate
more, reach out to me. I'll

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be glad to break it down more
to you. Once you get to a

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place in life where you have dealt
with your past pains, or you have

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dealt with whatever it is that ails
you, that caused you to be in

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a negative mental state, that causes
you to have a mindset that's working against

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you, Listen, listen to me. All you gotta do is give that

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person who you ignore the most the
time and tension and energy that they need.

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And that person is you. That's
you. I don't care how much

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you love someone. The truth is
coming to the light. The truth is

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coming forth. When you don't love
yourself, it's going to show. It's

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going to show in how you treat
that person, because some of you will

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do any and everything. It's going
to show in how you allow that person

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to treat you. And like I
said, when you have no boundaries or

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low boundaries, that's because you have
low standards or no standards. It truly

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is no standards, you'll get anything. Low standards, you'll get anything.

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And it's so crazy how people in
this world today are in that category lo

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or no, just do anything,
don't care. Women begging men to be

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in relationships, women paying men to
be in relationships, men paying women to

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be in relationships, men begging women
to be in relationships. Craziness, craziness.

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When you get to love yourself and
you understand who you are as a

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person, you know your value and
your work, you're gonna laugh at the

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things you used to do. You're
gonna be a pared too, but you're

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gonna laugh because it's unbelievable some of
the things people allow themselves to go through,

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some of the things that people have
to deal with because they got into

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relationships with no standards or low standards. It's all up to you. It's

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never up to the other person.
If you in a relationship with someone,

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it's up to you who you open
yourself up to, so you can blame

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him and hurt him or hurt all
you want to. It is up to

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you who you get into a relationship
with. It is up to you how

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you allow that person to treat you. It's up to you. What they

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do may be foul, low down, rotten, but it's up to you

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how you allow them to treat you. They gonna get away with what you

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let them get away with. They're
gonna treat you how you allow them to

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treat you. Some of you get
into relationships and you're groomed. You're groomed

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to give up your power. You're
groomed to be fearful of that individual.

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Male they're female. You're groomed because
they do things subtle. Sometimes it's not

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so subtle, but they do things
to see your reaction, to see will

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they be able to get away with
it, and so many of you let

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them. You let them get away, and guess what, they come back

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again with something else, and the
next thing you know, you've given up

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your power. The next thing you
know, you're fearful, you're disrespected,

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you're taken for granted because you allowed
that person to put you in that situation.

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You allowed that person to come into
your life and do whatever it is

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that they choose to do to you
in any way they choose to do it.

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You allowed it. They could have
never abused you had you never allowed

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it. They could have never disrespected
you had you never allowed it. They

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couldn't have ever disrespected you verbally.
They could have never ever, I mean

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never ever, ever done you wrong
in any way unless you first allowed it.

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People have to realize, when you
don't know yourself and you don't love

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yourself, you open yourself up to
unnecessary self inflicted pain. And the reason

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I say self inflicted pain, oh, because you're gonna get some headache and

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heartache, because you're gonna get with
the person who's no good for you.

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You're gonna get with the person who
need to mature as well, and they're

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gonna bring all of their baggage and
dumping on you. Then you try to

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carry theirs and yours. You're gonna
go through. And most people are going

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through because they're in relationships with people
they should have never been with. They

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have no no no standards, no
low low standards, no boundaries, no

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peace. And I've told you so
many times. If you want to know

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the truth about yourself and your relationship, just sit down, sit down somewhere,

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Sit you little too, shit down
somewhere and just think about your relationship.

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What is he doing to you?
What is she doing to you?

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You're gonna see the truth. You're
going to see the truth. You're gonna

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see if you love yourself or not. Because the truth is evident in how

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you allow yourself to be treated and
also what you allow and accept. It's

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evident. So that's what I have
for you today, as always is up

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to you. I just give you
the information and hope and pray that people

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allow it to me. Eight,
get deep inside, get an understanding of

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what I'm saying. I can't change
anyone. All I can do is encourage

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you. All I can do is
let you know you don't have to live

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your life the way you are.
Most people are prisoners to their own mindset.

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Don't even understand it. You ever
met a person that tell you the

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same thing a million times, the
same thing. You try to talk to

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this person, and you talk to
this person and they tell you the same

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thing. They're going through some tough
times, but it's because of their own

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doing, but they can't see it. They keep going back for second,

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thirds, four, fifth, sixth, seventh, and on and on,

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but they can't see it. So
many are blind to their own ways.

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That's why you hear me sometimes say
people are in their own way. They're

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blind to their own ways, their
own ways of doing things. They're blind

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to them. No one can change
you, but you. I know that

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you can be encouraged and motivated and
all of that, but you still have

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to be the one to do the
work. If you don't have any standards,

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you're heading for drama, drama street, no doubt whatsoever, you're gonna

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have chaos in your life. I
just wish that people would just take time

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for self, get to know self, get to love self, because it

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will change your life completely. But
people are so focused on self gratification,

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being loved and loving someone when they
have no clue what love is think you

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know, but you don't know,
because if you did, you wouldn't take

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the things you take. You wouldn't
accept the things you accept, decisions and

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choices you make, you wouldn't All
right, I'm done. That's all I'm

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gonna say on that. Thank you
so much for listening. Much love to

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you, you and you I appreciate
you highly. Please share this episode,

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00:29:00.599 --> 00:29:07.079
go out to Relatable life Chronicles,
check it out and share. Please reach

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00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:10.359
out to me go to my podcast
page. It'll tell you how you can

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00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:14.960
reach me. Also at the end
of my podcast, it'll tell you.

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If you look on my front page, it'll tell you also how you can

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reach and read my blogs. So
check it out. Thank you again,

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much love. I end every episode
the same for a reason, and I

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hope you do it. Thank on
it

