Welcome to Softcore History. Hello, and welcome back to Softcore History. My
name is Jake Goldman. I'm joined as always by my two co hosts,
Danrey Jester and Rob Fox. How's going today? Boys? Look at our
boy growing up? Introducing his co host, I always do no, not
recently. Oh well yeah they're here, dance here. That was Daniel text
me after shows and be like you fucking do it again. Yeah, he's
just fuming, and I'm just like, it's fine, it's fine, and
he's just like he'll just like like a paragraph of I'm like Leo in Once
upon a Time going into my trailer. Yeah, you're like, uh,
you're not mad at yourself, you're mad at me. You're you're a Christian
bale and I'm the light gaff guy. Yeah, fucking amateur. Anyway,
we have a Patreon. You can check u out at patreon dot com slash
softcore History. There. If you subscribe for just five dollars a month,
you get two extra episodes a week. And right now we are on a
mad tear of risk, playing a lot of risk. Yeah, we are
playing a lot of risk right now, but we are about to hit part
three, probably the conclusion of our Risk games. It's a mini series,
guys. We're not gonna continue to play just risk. No. Yeah,
there's plenty of episodes on the Patreon two. An episode like this normally you
get every week. You also get additional content two episodes a week in a
whole evergreen cattle. I mean we've been doing it for like two years that
all this shit's ever green because we're talking about history. Yeah, there's uh,
you know, the only rule we have is we can't talk about anything
that happened in the last twenty years. We don't actually don't even have that
rule. Yeah, it's with the exception of all of our college football references
like the subject, right, we can talk about things that are happening right
now. We typically try not to. No, we try to go back
a little further. We're kind of like putin Yeah, whenever you ask us
a questions modern history, we talk about to go back to eight eighty two
because it's super relative in the teen Empire, right of course, Yeah,
of course I would. Now I want to watch that interview. I kind
of do too, that he gives the whole history like a fucking history.
It wasn't wasn't you know, necessarily historically accurate. But there is a show.
This would be a great guest on the show. I would have him
for a second. I don't know why he talked to Tucker Carlson. I
would entertain every history question he said, every history thing he said, we'd
have Kim Jong un on. We would have a lot of more poot One.
That's a possibility with me. Uone would be good too, because their
history stuff is awesome. They i think at one point told their people they
discovered unicorn bones in a cave. Well, his dad shot an eighteen and
golf on a regular golf course. Yeah, yeah, he's hawkeye right,
hypercurate. And I believe un started driving it three and has never pooped.
He's never pooped. Yes, that's also facts, But he's impressive. What
if he what if that's true? But he has a colossomy bag, like
he's never pushed feces out. It just shoots out of the side of him.
Yeah, if you dealt with somebody with that bag, have you,
I've seen it at a No. But it was also a very real possibility
that I had to have one for the rest of my life until I figured
it out. The Crohn's disease. Oh man, imagine if I just had
a bag next to me, it would have been under your shirt. It
would smell. No, it doesn't. It's a kid that came to a
party one time that had one. I know he was even wearing it.
Maybe I was just drunk. I don't know, but I feel like this.
I just feel like I would have noticed if it smelled bad, though,
would you have? You were at a party and collegized, so everything
smells like shit? Hey, that's like his perfect place to cloak himself.
That's true. Yeah, he showed everybody though, and then it was like,
oh, thanks, how close were you to him? It's not like
like me to you. That would be my horrible secret. Yeah, you're
not. You're not like I'm not like stick of my face and his poop
bag. Of course, no going down on the guy, No, one
is no. Why not? Why are you going against people with disabilities?
I'm not pretty ablest, I'm not. Yeah, wow, So would you
go down on a chick with a coospy bag? No, I'm married,
Okay, Katie's dead or Katie, Yeah, this woman struggled her with her
colossomy. No, No, I'm not I'm not doing it. I'm not
doing it. Sorry, I mean it's a possibility. It's just this is
this cro disease. We have now been demonetized. We have to monetize every
episode. We actually I uh asked for a manual review last episode and no
not just because we talked about Quincy uh possibly stealing an election. Well he
didn't steal it. Well maybe he did steal it, but it was definitely
stolen from someone. I don't know who did who someone did election stolen or
steals election? I do not automatic demonitored. Not good. It's usually uh
gripped with different kind of people than ourselves. Yeah, yeah, unfortunately,
it's just kind of under the same umbrella. Yeah whatever. Well, hey
guys, how'd you like your breakfast this morning? Thanks for making us a
biscuit? Jay welcome, I made you. Okay, so I've been really
into obviously. Oh my god, the mic just keeps moving. I don't
know what's tell you, it keeps going up. It's super easy to fix.
Okay, then fix it. I just did. Thanks. But you
yeah, you challenged him to do something he did. Yeah good. He's
like he did a cartwheel and you're like, but you can't do a cartwheel.
You bring this up, I usually cut it out of the episode,
but I'm gonna keep it in for this, keep it, keep it.
No, that's that's on me. So I obviously really like making my own
food at home. I made some chicken biscuits today with my own fermented peppers.
Uh fried the chicken myself, broke down the chicken. We're gonna die
because I don't trust pickles. You ate them just fine, I know,
but as just to be polite, I would take so much poison just to
be polite. Yeah, I will literally murder myself just to not have a
confrontation. I will become the most fascist person on earth if it doesn't ruin
a family dinner. Like I'm just not trying to be weird at dinner period.
Like it's like, oh, you think we should like send all a
Dan example, all the homeless to Mars. Yeah man, yeah, yeah,
too many passed potatoes please. But I already had a really good solution
before the homeless became a problem. I was ahead of my time. The
final solution for the homeless, No, the final solution is gonna end up
being the suicide pods. I mean, yeah, you know that's what's gonna
happen to these almost people, right, They're just gonna be putting pods against
their will. You think it's gonna be against their will. They'll talk about
it, but just won't be hard. La. They're hosting the Olympics.
Ooh, when is that thing? I actually just think it might be a
human street sweeper. It's just like just skid Row just gets like, yeah,
it's just a big vacuum. Actually, all you do is you throw
them in a see it moves. It literally is moving in front of you
right now. Thanks Dan. AnyWho. Yeah, so my biggest thing though,
I love making bread. I brought some bread in today. Maybe i'll
bring it. I'll put it up on the screen in a minute, or
I'll take a picture. Yeah, I'm a car carrying certified bread boy.
It's one of my favorite things on Earth. In episodes past though, or
in the past people that ask being like, hey, why don't you do
like a history of bread episode? You did do a history of sound.
I so in my next note in softcore history yet uh yeah, in this
is a great radio it's because you're rearranging me the mic before. I'm not
into a fashion that I've never seen it. I'm not doing anything with it.
Man, Okay, well now I'm gonna sit like, okay, cool,
there you go. So yeah, I have done some episodes in the
past that are like history of Sound or History of Pets, and uh,
I think you know, I think we all realized I was kind of mailing
those in when I didn't have a topic. The broader the better. Yeah,
I didn't want to approach his wait, isn't Isn't History of sound one
like our most listened to episode? It is, but it's also one of
our worst episodes. It's content wise bad. It's just the history of recorded
sound. But that just proves that the people yearn for terrible content. What
if he just had like some really spicy takes about sound and that's why people
liked it so sound it wasn't true? Were like, man, fuck sound,
it's too much sound in America. Set it back. Jake loves himself
a broad topic. He's done Spices, Spices, History of Pets, and
History of Sound I think are my big three of broad topics. Unfortunately,
some of the again most listened to episodes of this because people just generally want
to know how things happened like they were like, how did we get here?
Yeah, that's true. Nobody wants to hear about some like at random
executioner's diary from the fourteen hundred. That's sick, though, I know that's
one I want to hear about. What's what the show is supposed to be,
man, Yeah, it's supposed to be obscure. Next coming next week
for me, the history of walls, the history of paint drying. But
yeah, no, i just was in a bread baking mood and I've just
done a lot more research on breadaus of late so today, fuck it.
Welcome to history of bread. We're here. That seems slightly narrower than the
history of sound. And so the history of bread started when God rained mana
from the sky for Moses. Bro they're eating bread already, episode episode over.
That's how bread is made, not God rained down bread. That was
the invention of bread in the in the desert on the way to That would
be funny if you thought that and your wife was just hiding invents throwing fucking
bread at you in your house, that would be funny. Here, like
I'm gonna make a sour dough and then you just stood there she had to
find a sour please call lou Ya's rain and bread. Uh, there is
a loaf of bread I brought in today as well, is a traditional pond
olivan, which basically literally is just French for leavened bread. It's your classic
sour dough bread you would get at any arts and bakery, but I wouldn't
because I don't eat bread. Well, this bread's great and you'll love it.
I'm keto bro there you're not. I just watched you to biscuit.
I know it was good fish. But yeah, well this is the standard
idea of what good traditional bread is. Has taken tens of thousands of years
for the process of making that type of bread to develop. For reference,
that one loaf of bread. Don't mean to go get it. We can
show it to the camera. Yeah, I'll crab it, show Janke's bread
while Dan grabs it. For reference. This one loaf of bread has only
three ingredients. It's water, salt, and flour. Some people say,
oh, there's east in there too. That's just wild yeast. That's not
added commercial yeast. That it's east from the air. So yeah, Dan's
bringing it on camera right now. Look at this bread. Yeah, very
nice. You can pop the crumb open if you would like, Dan,
you can show them the inside. I can't handle these bread terms. Yeah
you don't like that crumb? Shot right there, the ear and the crumb.
Yeah, so fucking He literally interviewed with Easy Tiger and thought about taking
a job for like ten dollars and I got an off bread to take job
at Easy Tiger. I was offered a job. You're gonna be the night
shift guy. I was gonna be the night shift guy. Yeah, granted,
do they make bread during the day. I feel like it's only at
night. They make it during They make it non stop, just because they
have like they have they sell it in like hundreds of stores here. Well,
they sell it at Chib's. Yeah, some thing. Like all the
grocery stores also have a deal with Easy Tiger for their salary. I personally
like my bread to the last months. Well, unfortunately that bread will last
about four days useless. How if you eat it fast? That bread you
can eat every day though too. But anyway except five days from now,
Yeah, every day for the next four days, you can eat that bread.
That's right. We need preservatives in our food. I agree. I'll
be real preservatives keep you alive longer. People don't realize that there keeps us
younger. There, Oh, I'm sorry. Eighty four out of eighty five
foods in the supermarket have plastic in them. Yeah. Again, it's making
us better decomposes. Guess what never goes away, recycling our organs. I'm
becoming immortal, slowly but surely. I told you guys on the group chat
that we have that the point of having plastics in your food is that we
can eventually recycle people into food. That way, you get enough plastic in
the people, then the people can be food too. Yeah, the street
sweeper takes the end. It's all coming back. You get sucked up in
there. And but that bread right there, well it has a ton of
technique in making it all right, don't give yourself that it takes a long
time. It's just three ingredients. It's just three ingredients, and it pretty
much always has been three ingredients. Right. You know what's more impressive of
Papa John's pizza. You know what, I'm not going to disagree with that
they have mass produced pizza with fresh ingredients, better ingredients, better pizza.
Papa John's. Now they're cooking Pizza Hut on stuff crust. You and pizza
are doing what they're cooking Pizza Hut, Oh, Papa Johns's. Yeah,
they got stuff crust. Now, Pizza Hut doesn't own stuff crust. Pizza.
They invented it. They did invent it. That was a cheese subsidy,
you know that, right, Like the whole reason stuff crust, like
cheese pizzas invented. It's like big cheese. It really was. The government
was like cheese, big cheese. I guess needed. They had a bunch
of surplus of cheese because of the war and something like we have all of
this like whatever grade cheese? What war? The World War two? You
have much cheese we made for that, the golf war? There is there
is, well that's more timeline with the so much cheese since like World War
two, Like they were using World War two cheese in the fucking Vietnam War
and stuff like that. That's so what you're telling me is much like the
Purple Heart. Yeah, no, we've been using the safe stock pile.
Yeah, we're save in France. Were rewarded just this entire block of cheese.
People don't really still like it's currently in lockdown next to Norad in Colorado.
You are so close to being correct on that. It's surprised we have
a national bank of cheese. We do. We have a ton of cheese,
Like there is a bunch of cheese and storage. People forget that's our
new currency reserve cheese. Yeah, dairy, it's good. Keeps you from
having diarrhea. Gold useless cheese. Gold do runs on cheese. You can
eat cheese liquid gold. That's velveta. That's why. No, that's why
Wisconsin's the most valuable asset in this country. It is, but that's why
you like around the time of stuffed crust pizza, there are a couple other
like quick easy, mass producible, like stuffed cheese and that ship Fi and
it's it's like, hey, this cheese is going bad, we need to
use this cheese. Why not just oh maybe is that what government cheese is
from too? Yeah, it's that is a thousand So like in Don't be
a Menace when he pulls when she pulls out government cheese and is melting it
on his chest and that sex scene, Yeah, that's World War two cheese.
World War two cheese. It's it's Old War cheese. Getting that chetta.
Baby, you're actually getting a free, free lesson right now on cheese
that you did not expect in the bread episode. So you're welcome. That's
the double now cheesy bread. I could have put cheese. I mean,
I'll probably make a grilled cheese out of that. Oh it's gonna be great
for that. Well, you got four days, so yeah, I gotta
get gotta act fast. The process of making bread has always been pretty incredibly
labor intents until the late or mid nineteen hundred. It's really not only does
the bread take a long time to make by hand, but I'll consider the
amount of work it takes to actually make the wrong ingredients. They had all
day. What else are they gonna do? Mmmm? That's all they did.
That's all they did. We'll get to that in a minute. It
didn't work. But white bread flower, that's a process of making. Collecting
water that's a process. Gathering salt that's a process. And gathering those ingredients
now is the easiest it's ever been. Yeah, you know that's in your
pantry now. It's easy to get water and flour and bread. Yeah,
So for anyone who's like it used to be bitter. It never Oh,
it was way harder. Actually, Dan's gonna hate bread so much by the
end of this episode. I think you could feel it already. Ah.
No, I love bread. I'm gonna hate you. No, you're gonna
hate bread too, don't. You might just hate wheats. What if you
just eat that whole loaf before the episode's over. I mean it'll be fine
because you can put it away. You don't have to keep spinning it.
No, I like him Van of whiting the bread. Also, span of
whiting the bread. That's what the people are here for. What if something
just we have this weird subsect of new view because they want to jack off
to this bread. You spinning the bread in particular, You're bread boy.
I mean, look at that entrance right, there's also some softened butter on
the We do have several people trying to make jake their bread pig. Yeah,
it's funny. We need pay pigs, certainly. Yeah, definitely this
show needs to grow, or at least just monetized, not in like viewers.
I don't care if we gain another follower as long as the revenue goes
up. Pay us, you little pigs. Yeah, pittrehon dot com slash.
But so in order to get a complete scope of where bread started and
its impact on history, we need to talk about two things in particular,
wheat and labor, okay, and their respective history in relation to our history,
and why it's racist. It's not. Well, labor can be I'm
guessing, but no, just the wheat. Wheats is not the slave labor
is fine. First First, yeah, that's a that's a rainbow of labor.
That's right. Everyone's harvested wheat at one point in history. Oppression taste
so delicious, it's really good. If that's oppressive, that's there's not enough
oppression. I mean, I assume Jake smacked his dog at some point while
making it, but that's just not maybe all of his wife. That's not
gonna do it for me. Don't ask what I'm doing, Jake. It's
been six months. Can he get a job? No, I'm your artist
in pride car. You didn't even take the bread job. Why would I?
It was two dollars more an hour than being paid unemployment. It's like,
I'm gonna just not work. I'm gonna quest that government check by the
government. By the way, that's not being it's actually it's actually extremely like
libertarian and conservative and patriotic to uh be on unemployment because you're making the government
you're pay pig. That's right. Also, I already paid for this.
I paid for that service for years, took it out on my check.
I'm just getting my money back. He gave my money back. That's all
I'm doing, not not a penny more. I did the math I had
to. I had to get on the TWC phone line and explain to them
how I didn't like how being paid through a podcast wasn't like having a real
wage. It's like, this is totallyatory. Yeah, in no world should
you report this? I know, I'm I'm probably gonna stop. I had
to explain to the oldest person I've ever talked to you, how are you
talking to anyone? I didn't have to report any of the jobs. They
wouldn't pay me. They wouldn't pay me like you make things up. I
totally commit fraud. Okay, fine, it's so much easier. They don't
check as long as you out don't want blank spaces? Yeah, any who.
First things first, well, we don't know exactly when humans started farming
their own we we don't know the exact moment. We know that humans have
been doing it for thousands of years. In fact, like what's the start
time, like five thousand BC, ten thousand BC when we started farming.
What is? Bread was invented before? So we think that it might have
been cultivated as early as ninety six hundred BC. Okay in the Fertile Crescent
main extreame archaeologists think that. But but I'm here to tell you bread was
invented before. Well if it was before, yeah, that's just everything.
If it was early, it can't be later. It can't be later.
If you already found it at a date, it carry later. They lied
about bread. It was way later. It could have been later. It
could be like these people that are dinosaur truthers. I don't care what the
bones say. They're not real to me. I mean, yeah, I
guess. But yeah, from the archaeological record, we estimate that it was
likely cultivated around ninety six hundred BC and Mesopotamia Fertle Crescent area. Before that
though, we were still eating wild wheat, and we know we used to
eat wild wheat because hunter gathers in West Asia based on findings we found there,
harvested wild wheats as early as twenty one thousand BC, so early history
humans. So they just find it, grab it, make it and make
it bread or use her something else. Eat it, eat it, eat
the kernels. Yeah, yeah, they would eat the kernels, right,
And so that was the next point is what we can figure this out,
is that that's what this whole episode a sick freak. Yeah, yeah,
so history is a punishment. They're like, hey, what's the worst thing
I'm making to do? It? Grind these kernels till it's dust. Why
don't Why It's a punishment to shut up and do it history and speculate that
primitive people probably chewed wheat kernels to turn them into powder in her mouths,
okay, before they learned to pound them into flour or soak them to soften
the kernels. Later, were they making bread in their mouths? Was it
like getting a margaritea poored in your mouth at a bar tequila? It was
kind of like you were making mouth porridge. Yeah yeah, I mean,
I gotta imagine wild wheat kernel one. It's really spiky and hard and sucks.
So you're sitting there chewing it for a while. But that's actually what
coyote ugly started with kernels, just kernels in your mouth. It was the
first ever coyote ugly twenty one thousand BC. Dried corn kernel in your mouth.
But she choose it and baby birds you and then it's kind of hot
and your dirty little pay page. Here's my mouth porridge, all right.
Yeah, but we were also just harvening the ship out of wild wheat because
colonels, you know, held energy well and didn't spoil quickly. So we've
started figuring out it's pretty good winter resource. It's something we could keep right
when the buffalo leaves, yeah, pretty much, or whatever, when the
mammoth leaves, whenever the thing stops being in the field. Yeah. So
yeah, family is kind of bitches. Mammoths. Yeah, I have no
idea. Why are they extinct? We killed we hunted them, yes,
motherfucker confirmed. Bitches. Well we're bringing them back. They're huge, you
know, we're bringing them back to uh stomp down the permafrost. Yeah.
I guess they're just going to be on a ranch in Texas to hunt.
Right. There's just it's just elephants with fur. Yeah, yes, pretty
much. Put a jacket on an elephant you want to come out to the
corporate retreat. We're killing a mammoth. It seems easier to just transport these
elephants put jackets on. What if that would like claim they clooned to Bamboth
that just glued fir to an elephant and got CEO's hair on it. They
just abe Lincoln to fucking elephant. There was that one guy. I forget
who it was. Actually it might have been Eric Trump. It's actually it's
a lot of people, So I'm not gonna with the Dennis who just know.
It's just like you basically get your handheld walking like right up to a
dying animal, and animal, yeah, it's it's your it's pay for poach.
You know you can pay. We have a friend that told us basically
like if you have enough money, no reserve is gonna be like you can't
kill that animal. They'd be like, all right, that's gonna help us
save a lot more. We also have a friend that you can hunt a
human. Wait really yeah, for the right price, you just kill poachers.
You go to funt the poachers. That's awesome. I know I'm kind
of into that. And for what it's for everyone anyone thinks that's fucked up.
Let me just say poachers do ship like cut the horns off a live
rhinos with a chainsaw. Yeah, so one of the rhinos just technically went
extinct. It was the black rhino. No, it was a white.
I thought we thought they were inseminating her. No, like it's technically extinct.
Now there's only like one or two left and they can't mate. Yeah
whatever, we'll clone him. It's fine for Yeah, speaking of cloning.
Netflix recommendation, they just dropped a Ryle uh documentary, what rialism documentary?
Oh, they get Ryle the prophet on the documentary. That's the swastika Jewish
thing. Yeah, that's the UFO col Yeah. Yeah, with their symbol
is the Star of David with a swastika inside of it. Yeah, yeah,
confusing everyone. We just we did an episode on that. I think
there was a patreonic with that Patreon Yeah but great, great interview. Yeah
there founder is still alive. Yeah, he's in Japan. So the reason
we even did that episode, I think is because I saw a Prius driving
around with with the with the symbol is the Star of David with the swastika
inside, and I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is.
But that is insane. And then I texted it to the co exists.
Yeah excuse me what No, but you texted us as like, oh
that's ryle Is. Yeah you knew what it was that. I was like,
yeah, that's that was a new one for me. Yeah. No,
that is one of the most insane cults. Coke this pump. It's
just a rile. Dude. I don't want to I don't want their attention.
Yeah, like they're creepy. I don't really want the smoke of anything
to do with Israel right now. I just want to like stand back,
yep. Same, Let the literal dust settle yep. Okay. AnyWho,
Our first uh processed food ever was likely porridge. So uh what they would
do primitive humans? They would soak the wild greens and heat them up to
get a softened kernel mash basically right, They start figuring that out pretty quick.
So porridge is the first food ever really cooked first, like processed food,
not like cooked meat over a fire, right or just meat to fire.
This is like something that is broken down or like you know, changed
from its original state quite a bit, but it's still a product. But
the funnest fact of this early history stuff is bread actually predates the cultivation of
grain. Yeah, they were making bread out of wild stuff. But they
were making out of wild stuff. That makes more sense because then it's like
shit, this por bread or porridge or whatever is super useful. We're getting
from the wild stuff. What if we start growing because we know that,
sure they have an awareness of seeds. Yes, we'll get to that in
a moment. But yeah, I want to hunt my wheat. Well you
will never be able to because there is no more wild wheat. God damn
it. Yeah, and I don't think you would very this was what they
took from us. You wouldn't enjoy it. This is what they took from
us. Right here, see this, it's right in front of you.
This is what they took from us. They took it from you. You
have it, it's in your hand. I feel like I can't eat it
right now though, Well you can't because you have to show it off.
Yeah, but yeah. Charred crumbs of a flat bread made by Natufian hunter
gatherers from wild wheat, wild barley, and plant roots were found. They
dated these crumbs at fourteen thousand, six hundred years old to eleven thousand,
six hundred years ago. Okay, So eleven thousand and six hundred would be
right about exactly when we started cultivating wheat. Okay, So, and that's
about I think that's like a thousand years before carahan Tepe. Yeah, so
we've been We've known about mashing this shit together and heating it for a long
time. This was found in Jordan, by the way, in the black
desert, so this would be really close to kraahan Tepe too, Yeah,
pretty much. Yeah, and this is also this is proof that bread production
predates wheat cultivation by thousands of years. So archaeologists, for whatever reason,
think that this was likely a rare occasion food, like a special treat.
Yeah, like flat breads. They would just mash this shit up and slap
it on the inside of a hot wall, kind of like a Tandori oven.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm not sure why they think it was
a special treat because, like, to me, I think they probably baked
it. It's like, oh, now I have portable porridge. Yeah like
that that makes the most sense to me. It's cooked, it's hard,
I don't have to worry about a bowl. Yeah, I don't know why
they would think that. I mean, it's a theory, like, it's
not like a bad theory necessarily, But I don't know why that would take
presence over them doing it regularly. If the only evidence you have that it
wasn't done regularly is that you haven't found more spots, that's not well,
how many spots, Like it's fourteen thousand years old, right? But yeah,
sure for the hunter gather on the go exactly. It's the first granola
bar, the first cliff bar. It's the first cliff bar. Is a
shitty flat, but the world runs on duncan. It was weird. They
the scoring in the bread was a D and a D either way. To
save some really intensive biological history of wheat. When it ended up happening was
we harvested the best weats over thousands of years. Repeated harvesting and sowing up
the grains of wild grasses led to the creation of domestic strands. Obviously,
we were eating the ones that were the easiest to break down in our mouths,
shitting those out, and so those seeds get Yeah, this stuff growing
where I pooped pretty much. Yeaheah. By the way, I was gonna
say, we stand on the shoulders of just incredible people. But really we're
like we're like blobfish on the shoulders and incredible people the ones they pull you
pull out of the ocean. And it's like, well, like that's what
we're doing. Yeah, we had that, We've had this whole insane thing
built up for us just so we can be like, I mean, we're
the trust Fund kids of history. Oh totally. Yeah, it's fucking insane.
So yeah, over thousands of years of just eating and shitting wheat and
harvesting it and sewing it and reaping it, the wheat continues to get better
for humans the more we eat it. Yeah, evolving to be better for
humans. It's it's a two way street on that because that's the thing.
The wheat gets more replicated more. Yeah, so it's helping the wheats replication,
which is all really any cell wants to do. It's really good for
I'm about to get into a very long argument for why wheat probably evolved us
as much as we have until all the hose got gluten allergies, until the
hose got gluten allergies, and that that is probably due to high process like
hyper processing more so than gluten being bad for you. One day wheat just
wakes up and it's like what am I? Yeah, we eat and harvest
this wheat, this wild wheat, so much that we likely change the way
we as people and we exist as species together forever with a symbiotic relationship.
Yeah, think about it for just a second. Ten thousand years ago,
wheat was just a wild grass and like one part of the world, just
the Fertile Crescent, right, it was a it was a unique in the
United States or anything. Nope, not even native. We is native to
one place historically, and that is the Fertile Crest. Shit, I didn't
know that. Yeah, now where the bread basket of the world over the
course of just the other main wheat producers are Russia and Ukraine. Yeah,
there's a great map. You can look it up if you go to like
if you google like wheat growing history, like it all starts in that,
like you know, arch right around the Fertile Crescent, and then over time
it's just like explodes across like your temperate climates. They have since replaced it
with heroin. Heroin is doing well. Heroin's doing well for sure, But
yeah, wheat has become one of the most successful plants in history of the
Earth. In areas such as the Great Plains of North America, where not
a single wheat stock grew ten thousand years ago, you can today walk for
hundreds of miles without encountering any other plant than wheat. Like, wait,
could you make heroin bread? No? Heroin? So heroin has made I
don't know if I'm allowed to say how it's produced on a live show,
but I'm gonna do it anyway. Heroin has grown like it comes from the
opium poppy. And what happens is you score the stalk and then the gel
of the stock, like the ooze that comes out when you score it.
Yeah, that's dried, and that's opium, okay, and then that is
I don't know the synthesization probably process, so I probably won't get in trouble
here, but all heads are here. Yeah, it synthesizes down. You
synthesize that opium down into heroin. Okay. Yeah, but it's like a
powder, right, it can be powdered when it's dried, but it's not
like, yeah, it's not a starchy powder. Okay. Yeah, I
just want to eat heroin bread. I mean, I'm sure I could put.
I'm sure you can get them in Afghanistan. What if I just get
a bunch of fentanyl pills and grind it into a powder, Yeah, and
then make bread. It's not gonna make bread. It's gonna be like a
banana bread style, you know, like it's gonna might within thirty seconds.
You need to mix it with the powder for sure to or you need to
mix it with flour, like you need something to create a structure that make
pure fentanyl bread. You can't make pure feneryl bread. Stupid. I think
you just might kill you. We get a listener that sends in just a
hey man, I made the feneryl bread. Do not do that. Please
don't do that. Please don't do not come, do not come. So,
yeah, it makes a lot of people. This fact that it's grown
so much and spread across the world so much. A question if wheat actually
domesticated us more than we domesticated wheat. And the author of Sapiens that book
has a pretty big argument for it. Yeah, it's like the last of
us, but it's not fungus, it's wheat. It's wheat, right,
So his argument is that we had been living a fairly comfortable life hunting and
gathering until the wheat got better, and then we started to invest more and
more effort in cultivating. So all human suffering is over it because of wheat.
Wheat just like grow me. Well, you have the probiotics in your
stomach, which again second brain of the body. Yea, control you right,
And wheat does have an effect on your internal microbiome with gluten does,
especially like people with gluten intolerance. Is that shit like the little silica awake
man, the ones with the cilia that move food through your system, Like
those people, when gluten interacts with it, it kills it. So it's
like their food. They have lots of indigestion problems that can send them to
the hospital. Just independent thinkers. They're slowing the stown. If you can't
eat the thing that built civilization, I'm sorry what yeah, Like off to
the side, Jake, What do you think we should do with them?
We made gluten free stuff for them. Should they reproduce, I don't care.
Should they be castrated, no, not at all. Sent the camps
into caves no no, no, no, drowned. I would never do
that underwater caves. Uh So, anyway, not continuing this gluten intolerant camps.
We're gluten intolerant, intolerant, just learning to be tolerant. Yeah,
tolerance camps, gluten intolerance camps. Uh but yeah, his argument. You
know, we had this comfortable life hunting and gathering, and once the wheat
started getting better, we started putting more effort into cultivating, and thus the
agricultural revolution is born, and that essentially creates unnatural labor for men. Now,
what do you mean by unnatural labor? Think about it this way.
Wheat requires fields to be cleared and other plants to be removed from its space
to prevent nutrient loss to the wheat. So men and women labored long days,
weating under really hot suns and clearing land, moving rocks, getting the
rocks off that we would not be doing otherwise. It should be like,
dude, it's hot out, stay in the shade. Yeah, chill out,
we'll get something later. We'll go gather when it's cooler. It also
requires water to grow wheat, right, so people had to start lugging water
to their wheat fields. That when it first starts out is backbreaking labor.
I mean that is like, you're not meant to do that as a person.
Yeah, the heaviest load you're supposed to carry, it's probably a child
or boy. I carry so many heavy loads countless. I'll have heavy loads
until i'm probably like eighty five ninety. You tell poo poos, I don't
think so you think it's something nuts? Yeah, I think you're gonna be
You don't think you think I'm shooting just nothing? Okay, So it's nuts
guy. Yeah, I think you're gonna be spitting spittle by the time you're
eighty just a little. Yeah, I think you're gonna be blasting loads like
you're third Yeah. Right, I can't talk shit to you every time you
have sex with your wife, you have a child, Yeah, you want
to talk You want to talk to a guy with loads over here? Dust
in the meaning anyway, all this backbreaking labor compared to killing something or just
pulling shit off of a plant that was already growing, is pretty significant.
It's so there's a deep irony in it too. And like the existence of
humans, right, so we're doing this thing where we just sit around all
day. I mean, look, there's bad parts. Obviously, you cut
your foot, you're dead or something, you know, But but like you
know, you're sitting around all day chilling, you go out. It's just
vibes, man, we made that fun of that tweet or whatever. Just
vibes in paleolithic times, Neil even no Neolithic will be farming, so paleolithic.
And then we're doing all this work and now basically our only goal is
just to get back to doing as little as possible. No, for sure,
but now we can do it without dying of an infection and all of
our infants fucking and women dying in time, we took the long way.
Check it out. We might also still die from that. What those people
that want to live that life, maybe maybe they pass on the same medication.
Yeah, they probably do. I want to live that life, but
indoors. Hmmm, interesting that life doesn't exist indoors, that life is only
outside. No, no, no, I mean I just want to lay
around and do nothing. Oh yeah, you can do that. It's just
being sedentary. Yeah. The other thing about wheat is that it's defenseless against
other things that like to eat it, so you know, rabbits, locus
swarms, things like that, so people had to guard and protect it.
The new agricultural tasks demanded so much time and people needed to protect their crop,
so inevitably people were forced to settle permanently next to their wheat fields.
They couldn't just let it like, yeah, I can go keep wandering.
The joke, they didn't have private security. They invented it. They invented
it for this. All labor, all of our our concept of work comes
from wheat. The concept of labor comes from wheat. This sounds like a
jake fact. It's not, man, I mean, I'm sure there was
labor and other things, like I'm sure they were We're gonna clip this,
it's gonna be so wrong. I mean that's not technically true. They were
building, they were building and stuff. Yeah, but like it was farming.
I think the amount of like the concept of like daily work is with
wheat and agriculture, though not just wheat, but you know, potatoes,
I think corn, any sort of like growth of plants they have to maintain.
But we call it the maybe more like the standardization of labor, sure
than the invention hard labor at that yeah yeah, yeah, because I mean
sure, yeah, going and killing something is a labor, right yeah.
Well, and building, I mean, and they also built. I mean,
like I think in palallyptic times. Certainly they did what seemed like laborious
artwork for example, or laborious Uh you mean those stick figures they drew in
the caves. No, man, there's carving. There's big carvings and stuff
like that. You're talking about. Man, it all started with wheat.
You guys are wrong. I respect that. Yeah, So what does domesticate
mean? It comes from damas, which means dominate house house damas who ended
up living in the house us or the wheat m hm hmmm, hm hmm.
We think wet domesticated us. We domesticated. That is really funny.
Of yeah, we are last of us by wheat? Does weat have a
thing? So I'm sure maybe you heard this before, but like cats have
ship that gets into your brain? Wheat, Yeah, I mean the fact
that its food makes your brain light up like crazy. Okay, but yeah,
when you're around cats, Oh, it makes you want to be around
cats more because they have like some sort of you don't have like a toxoplasma
situation with wheat that we know of. It's just that it makes really sustainable
food. Okay, people being hungry, people being hungry, So yeah,
we had to build houses be still and start working. All we already built
houses. Prior to that, we built more. Okay, we built more
like we had I think houses, but like you know, because I think
there were probably I'm almost positive on this. You know, it's not like
the entire world was necessarily hunter gatherer. Like if you lived near say a
river or a part of a shoreline that was always rich with fish, yeah,
you just stayed still, right, yeah, no, why would you
move? But yeah, okay, so we at least we're a lot more
still as a as a as a people, as a species. Across the
board, we were building more houses, we were settling down a lot more.
We're working a lot harder, so much so that ancient skeletons indicate the
transition to agriculture brought about ailments such as like the agricultural revolutions. When we
start seeing things like slipped discs, yeah, and like hernias and like fucked
up feet. They were just starting to deadlift. It was yeah, they
were terrible. They were deadlifting water buckets to the fields right, just all
back. And the question becomes like what did this ship offer if we were
like way more chilled out, Yeah, and this is way harder why did
something so much harder, uh than what we were doing become so and an
individually person a person, we benefited no one, It benefited no single person
that much because the amount of work was insane. However, what it did
do was offer more stable and consistent food for our social groups and tribes as
a whole. We're you know, we're already social people at this point,
right, living in tribes of probably around one hundred for the greater good,
deep, the greater good, that's right to good. So this weak cultivation
allowed us to multiply rapidly and stay alive even under some of the shittiest conditions
like changes in herd migration or wild vegetation famin or long winners or things like
that. And that allowed us to stay alive. So, you know,
while we did grow, we exploded as a species because of this, we
also ended up working a lot harder for it. Got a grind, Yeah,
and it's definitely like a shift from hey, just get stuff, like
you're doing your little thing to ever, we are all working on this thing
that make this work. Everyone's on their grind. So yeah, with all
this wheat, they're making porridge and essentially flatbreads like tortillas or chapati is probably
the closest Indian example, not non because non levens, yeah, a little
bit. So how do we get to traditional leven sourdough bread of today from
this ship we were harvesting, you know, tens of thousands of years ago
to make kernel porridge in our mouth. You know. There's a couple theories
and they all start in pre dynastic Egypt around six thousand BC. So Egypt
invented sourdough bread pretty much. Yeah, okay, that's what the consensus is,
right now, what were they eating it? Wait? And what'd you
say? Six thousand BC? Six thousand BC? Pre dynastic Yeah, okay,
so that's presumer as well. So this is not even a civilization yet.
It's it's I mean, it's a civilization. There's sourdough bread before the
Pyramids. It's prehistoric though, right, Oh yeah, it's pretty pre pre
riding. Prehistory just means before writing, before writing, which was how long
are the pyramids? Three thousand BC? Was pre was writing three or four
thousand BC? Yeah, and the pyramids were like two thousand BC, yeah,
twenty five hundred BC. Something kind of insane. If we bought the
pyramids before soured ought bread, that would be nuts. Yeah, but it
wouldn't be that crazy. So there's a couple theories around how this got started.
The main staple of the diet for the most part, like I said,
was porridge and flatbread, like super flatbread, non lemon the perhaps porridge,
taco porridge in a flat bread. Yeah. Yeah, it's like the
shittiest the bread sandwich if you will of the time. Dude, it's just
a fucking bread bowl at a olive garden with more bread and it's a Vanera
bread bowl. All farn has it too? Oh they sure they do.
Yeah, that makes sense bowls, but they should do a breadstick bowl.
Differentiate themselves. You know. I wouldn't even just add bread sticks on top
of the bread bowl. No, the whole thing is bread sticks. You
glue the bread sticks together with some sort of just glue. Yeah, glue
is probably just glue. It's olive garden. Yeah, Selmer Smith's fine.
Yeah, real quick. Before we get back to talking about how we started
eating, let's talk about how we're currently eating. Had to factor dot com
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while your subscription is active. So the most common two theories or three theories
are these. Number one soone left flatbread dough in the sun, and it
rose pretty easy to see how that one could be there, right, They're
like, oh, weird, throw it in the fire. That's the basically
the theory with alcohol too. It's like an accident. Yeah, it's brained
in a barley vat Yeah, and they're like, whoa this is the best
thing I've ever had. Yeah, that's actually happened with Jesus too. They
didn't put him in the tomb, They left the mountain in the sunny.
He rose, He rose. I thought you were about to say that someone
just left their sperm on a chair. Baby was now married. Rose,
it rose, Yeah, sat on the toilet and actually to make a starter
from scratch, it does take about three days for it to rise. M
just connecting dots, yes, question questions. Uh number two. Someone left
porridge. This is my favorite one. Someone left porridge in a corner for
too long. They were lazy, like someone you know. It was a
guy. He was not dumb with this porge, was like fucking this porche
taste like ass Yeah, put it in a corner, didn't clean the dish.
He's like, wife will do it, something like that, and that
rose and the wife I'm guessing, or whoever was in the house with him.
Yeah, it's like that fucking asshole just threw the bowl on the fire
and it rose. Yeah, and it turned into bread, So you can
thank laziness. Yes, or it rained in an open porridge flower container,
an open flower container and got grossed. Someone decided to throw it in the
fire. All of it is weird. Yeah, well, it's not important
to know exactly how it was discovered. It is what we discovered, which
is incredibly important. Some type of combo of heat and time allows shit porridge
and ship flatbread to double or even triple in volume. This is a magical
moment. We just doubled our food. Jesus back to Jesus. Yeah,
turning one loaf into fucking forty loads. What if Jesus is just a baker
iteration of the story of a baker over and over. You see this loaf
here. Now, the food was also more nutritious too, So when you're
adding water to flour and kneading it, that's how gluten is created. Gluten
is two proteins that are bonded together through the agitation of it in water,
through smashing, yeah, through smashing it in water basically it you know,
makes them sticky. Right, So you're creating a protein. Now, so
that's more beneficial than protein though it's more than none, which is incredible,
Like just you're adding it's infinitely more protein, right, all things considered,
Like, so you're adding protein, you're adding minerals to by having the fermentation
process going on, So you're having minerals, vitamins, things that really help
enrich the diet are being created with this leavened bread process. Now, and
then how long do you have to wait till it just turns into alcohol?
Alcohol? I don't know. Alcohol is a long time. Just wait long
enough. Yeah, I mean yeast is there's alcohol creation happening when you're making
bread. Yeast. All yeast does is turn sugar into alcohol. So that's
what yeast does. But that process creates gases which allow the breads to rise
as well. And then the gluten that you're making while needing is creating the
structure that allows the bread to rise without breaking. Basically, once we figured
all that out, people got to exploring and trying different things and sharing knowledge.
Different bakers from different locales had different producssses, and the bread was a
defining regional thing as well. So as much as there were like, oh,
people like that that look like that or sound like that are from Italy,
they also eat bread like this. Yeah. It's a very like kind
of like beer too, like the local alcohol spells of beer. Yeah.
Yeah, So for instance, it speaking of beer, the Galls and Iberians
used foam skimmed from beer to produce a lighter kind of bread than other people.
So they realized that there was a connection and fermentation, whereas parts of
the ancient world that drank wine instead of beer used the paste composed of grape
must and flour that was allowed to begin fermenting, or wheat brands steeped in
wine as a source of yeast. This experimentation leads to baking becoming a profession
of sorts, and by the fifth century BC, bread could be purchased in
Athens from a baker's shop that was over the course of a few thousand years
that people like you have literally five five hundred years. Yeah, they're sick.
Yeah, that's only like, I'm sure there's other bakers. You know,
we have recordings before specialized bake shops of there's a guy in town,
you bring your bread to him, he bakes it for you. I mean
work specialization probably happened pretty quick, I would imagine, Yeah, for sure.
You know, obviously there's reports in Rome of Greek bakers appearing in the
second century BC once they take over Asia Minor. Yeah, the foreign bakers
of bread in Rome. This is kind of where things really exploit though of
like the art form of making this kind of shit that's over here. Foreign
bakers of bread in Rome were permitted to form a college. Basically, the
Romans were like, bread is so important. All you different bread bakers get
together, start sharing your ideas. Bread like kind of a currency in Rome.
They would, I mean you could, they would stamp it. I
know. Yeah, it's a currency thousands of years before. Yeah too,
because you know, whereas gold is harder to get, Like, they also
shave lead into their bread. We'll get to that in a moment. Actually,
you're not far off. I was joking. Well, unfortunately that happened.
They're just wrapped it in lead foil bread. Yeah, breath, yeah,
let the lead out. Let the bread up. I can't have fentanyl
bread, but you can need all the lead bread you want. Uh.
The author Athenaeus, who was around one seventy to two thirty eight D,
described some of the bread, cakes and pastries available in the classical world,
and you're gonna be familiar with all of them. Griddle cakes, honey and
oil bread, mushroom shaped loaves covered in poppy seeds, which is probably a
prototypical bagel. Say it again. Muffin, mushroom shaped loaves covered in Oh
it is a muffin the word, how'd you pronounce prototypical? No, bagel,
bagel, he's he decides how to pronounce it. Okay, that's his
food. I it's bagel. Yeah it is bagel. You said it weird.
I didn't a bagel. You can say it however he wants anyway.
I think you said like he says bagelle. That's how it's pronounced in this
room. They also his culture. He's not from New York. I'm not.
It's not my culture. The type and quality of flowers used to produce
bread could also vary, as noted by Dephilis when he declared bread made of
wheat as compared to that of barley, is more nourishing, more digestible,
in every way superior. So uh, people started getting real uppity with their
bread. In Rome, in order of merit, bread made from refined,
thoroughly sieved flour comes first. So white bread is like your royalty bread.
That is royalty bread that you're holding. Yeah, sure it is. That's
what the royals made. King bread. It's bread for good, fancy bread
bread. Yeah, I stop giving yourself all this fucking love. It's fine,
loved the bread of an emperor. Well no versus like you're really whole
grain wheat like shit, well two kings, bro, but yeah, and
then like bread from ordinary wheat and like non shifted flower went to like peasants.
Basically yeah, yeah, you just need to keep you a lot to
work. Basically, in medieval Europe, bread served not only as a staple
food but also as part of table service. So after or the follow Reman
Empire, they're like, oh, you know what we could do, Let's
make plates out of bread. Let's make a trotch out of bread. Bread
plates, bread plates, yeah, which I think should come back in style
for sure. In the stable. What if actually, let's just go to
a place that gives you free bread and butter, like out back or something,
and like just make can you serve the steak on this on this plate
of bread I've made? So in the standard table setting of medieval Europe is
a what's called a trencher, which is a piece of stale bread roughly six
by four inches, so like a small plate bread. Yeah, and it
was served as an absorbent plate. So when food was scarce in all two
common occurrents in medieval Europe. At the time, the trencher wind served would
typically be eaten with all like at the end, it's all juicy. You
can eat it again. You eat it, It's like okayon eating a big
crouton. Yeah. In times of like abundance, though, trenchers could be
given to the poor. They'd be like, oh, we saved our plate
for you. What was that six inch by four inch he's called the trencher
that you're calling your dick. Now calling my dick the trench the trench so
sounds so foul, the trench, the trench. It was not until the
fifteenth century that trenchers made of wood started to replace bread. So for a
long time, like five hundred years. Like peasants, bread soon became furious
and told to eat the new trenchers. It's like this is wood, yeah,
like but yeah. One of the first like food regulation laws was passed
in Britain. It's called the I think it's pronounced a Seas of Bread and
Ale And this was done in the thirteenth century. So price, weight and
quality of bread and beer was regulated by this law. And because people are
trying to sell moldy ass bread and bread eaten by rats in the back and
stuff like that is normal bread, sounds communists. Let the markets decide.
Yeah, so I mean no, I think it was so bad. People
were dying at such a clip from eating bad bread they were. That's the
market deciding, that's true. Yeah, communists, the market decide. I
think it was in the late seventeen hundreds or early eighteen hundreds, greedy bakers
were packing their flour with talc and chalk, and like of course they were
shaved lead like Dan was talking about it was cut. Yeah, they were
cutting their flour to the point where people were getting violently and like chemically hazardlessly
like chemical hazard ill and they had to start. It's like basically our first
processed food laws come from Britain, where it's like let the markets decide.
Yeah, let's the market decide. Still, then you get basically from there,
I mean, it all kind of explodes in Rome. That's where you
start seeing like traditional bread really comes with og bread like our current version of
bread gee bread. Yeah, like that that is the first process food probably
ever. Like that, the steps of it, the folding and the stretching,
like where did they get salt? The salt. So likely the reason
why salt is even considering is because they were using sea water. Yeah see,
of course, Yeah, so there's already quite a bit of salinity right
the seen, especially in the Nile, you have that like brackish water.
So yeah, they were using that. It was very salty. It gave
it a nice flavor. No we add salt. They would take a crocodile
and just wring it out. Yeah yeah, yeah, get the crocodile tears.
That makes sense. But yeah, so we you know, typically this
bread that dance holding it takes a lot of stretching and folding and letting it
rest and things like that. Those are things that we now mimic with mechanation
needing machines, things like that rolling pin, rolling pin, although I'm sure
a rolling pin was invented pretty early in human history. Oh totally, a
rolling pin, for sure. Like things for flattening, we're definitely there.
But like and we've perfected it with wonderbread. Wonderbread is the bastard non bread
of bread. Basically, if you don't like wonderbread, then you don't like
human history. You don't like you You're you're you're shitting on our ancestors.
What are you talking about? You're shitting on this country. You should have
got a humanity with wonder bread. When was wonderbread made? It was invented
I think in the forties. If i'm Rembert Man, it was invented in
nineteen twenty one, Okay, so yeah, around that's right around the early
twenties is when you start seeing loaves of today and like American Yeah, you
know, the nature's one of the best times to ever live. The Roaring
twenties. Yeah. They advertised it as not having holes in it, which
was like the big thing. It's like, oh, it's all surface.
You're not getting robbed with shitty air, yeah, which is terrible. That
means there's no fermentation happening in the bread process, which means it's gonna be
harder on your guts. You're getting ripped off if you're not eating wonder bread.
Yeah, that paint holes holes? Isn't Jake's bread quite a few?
Oh my god, you're not even giving me bread. You just gave me
some air. The whole point of bread is to capture air. It's it's
you're doubling your il air. I can fit my trencher in one of these
holes, Trencher. But yeah, no, So you know bread, for
a long time, you used to be three ingredients. According to the FDA,
it was water, flour, and salt in you know, yeast,
whatever you want to call it. That that was kind of implied. Now
you can have up to like I think it's thirty eight different ingredients. Smart.
Yeah, So everything that comes in a seram bag with a brand on
it, it's fucking candy. That's what you need. It's got all the
sugars you need and the microplastics you want and crave to keep you immortal.
That's right. But yeah, ultimately the origin of bread is people. Just
man, I'm tired of chewing these kernels. Nah, the origin of bread
is wheat. Being like, we must replicate. It's true though, Like
if you look at think of like a successful business, right, Like,
what is a successful business is mean kpi? How many dollars it has?
So what is a successful like genetic kpi? How many copies of DNA are
floating around of you? Yeah, for us and wheat, once we started
working together, we became the most prominent grass on earth. Everybody wins.
We became the biggest species on earth like most powerful. Yeah, funny story.
Actually nineteen twenty I think is also around the invention of I want to
say it's around the invention of wonder bread. Actually, not that there's any
causation there, but that's the peak of human growth in terms of like upward
up on the graph. Yeah, bread rules everything around me. But no,
then the wonder bread comes and starts going down. The convenience, I
think is the problem. Okay, yeah, we are might have told me,
Yeah, so would you learn to die? We are slaves to grass?
Yeah, I just said that, brain baby bram Bream. Yeah,
no, I've learned definitely that we are probably wheats, little bitch. Yeah,
we're living in the last of the Yeah, the wheat. It's just
it's it's boring though it's not so obvious, but that's exactly how it is
in real life. Yeah, it's a slow, slow Yeah. We can't
get domesticated by a fungus. We already got domesticated by a grass. Anything
now though, is that wheat can't exist without human intervention? So wheat needs
us as much as we need wheat. I don't think so That's why I've
gone carnivore. Buddy, Okay, Actually we probably need wheat a lot less
than wheat needs us. Wheat right now is so like, it's so like
basically you need human threshing in order to get it to I never want to
take another solid shit in my life. When what when people say beef is
grass fed? Is it eating wheat? What's it eating? Imagine? I
don't know. Weat in marijuana. Yeah, it chills out the cow and
that's why the meat so tender and delicious. Okay, So it is just
pure grass. Like if it was eating wheat grass, it would be a
green fed. Okay, yah, a grass fed is supposed to be anti
grain. Yeah, it's just pure grass on that. How about you,
Dan, would you learn to bream? Yes, who's Hitler? Wheat?
Wheat might be wheat, it's wheat Hitler. Wheat might be Hitler, but
it's also like a it's kind of like a benevolent dictator. Yeah, it
is chill Hitler. Wheat is chill Hitler. Yeah, Dan, you're really
I fucking that bread man. I think it's you because there's so many holes
in here, so you're jipping the consumer. Actually, wonderbread is our savior.
Wonderbread is the ally that took on wheat. It's like a tasty drywall
fluffy. Well that's it for me, you guys, thanks so much for
listening. For Danner, Justiner, Rob Fox, I'm Jake Goldman. Make
sure to check out the Patreon dot com slash software History. Leave a five
star review please and thank you. You need to get to one thousand on
Apple so I can drink again. That'd be cool. That would be cool.
And yeah's software history dot com for merch. But yeah, Jake,
thanks, thanks for having us, Thanks for having me on your show.
Hey, you're welcome. Thanks for making me a biscuit, and thanks for
making me this low for bread. It's actually for rop. Really, just
straight up bit off a piece of the bread for me for Jake Goldman,
probably half of the bread. I'm damn dress, sir. Just pre's delicious.
You just got soft syrved