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You're listening to KFI AM six forty
on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor

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Andy Wall Show ONFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.

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So I was talking about bad boys, and there are all kinds of

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reasons why women get attracted to bad
boys, And there are different kinds of

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bad boys. They are the ones
that just break your heart. They are

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the ones that come and go and
they have an avoidant detachment style and they

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can't really give you emotional intimacy.
And then there are the real bad boys,

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the ones who break the law,
and these guys can be very attractive

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to women. I have a very
special guest in the studio who is actually

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in the Witness Protection program partly because
of her steadfast love to a guy very

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high up an organized crime, and
she's about to pay the ultimate price.

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Now, before I introduce you,
what name am I calling you today?

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Well, I go by the pseudu
name of Olivia Flores, which is a

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name that I wrote my book under
Cartile Wives, and today it's just me

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Val. You're coming out as Val. Is that the name your parents gave

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you when you were born? Yes, it is back to authentic. You

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after everything you've been through. You
are the author of the book Cartel Wives

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in a Nutshell. I will say
that your husband worked under El Chapo and

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was instrumental in bringing El Chapo down, and then the two of you as

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a team turned yourselves in and your
husband paid the ultimate price, spending twelve

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years in prison. Set it up
for how you stayed in love during this

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time. You had between you five
children. What were those twelve years like

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for you? Those twelve years we
walked into knowing that when my husband turned

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himself in and he was going to
cooperate with the US government, that he

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was going to ultimately turn on one
of the most powerful cartels in the world,

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which is the Sinaloa Cartel, and
Chapel was the head boss of that

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cartel. So my husband and his
twin brother, the Flores twins from Chicago,

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they decided to change their life and
cooperate. And not only did they

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cooperate, but they helped dismantle the
Sinaloa Cartel by indicting over one hundred different

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lieutenants, cartel leaders, bosses.
And in that cooperation, our goal as

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a family was to have them turn
themselves in due prison time and US change

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our life. And on top of
that, they were able to dismantle an

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organization that they helped build. So
you as a team. You and your

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husband were living in Mexico, as
I understand it, in a mansion,

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the money was flowing. Was was
the initial attraction to a bad boy about

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the glamorous life for you? Yes? It was. You know, I

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grew up. I come from a
great, you know, home loving home.

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My father's a Chicago police officer,
A police officer, yes, a

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Chicago police officer twenty seven years.
My whole family comes from law enforcement.

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I went to private school growing up. I came from a great, you

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know, tight knit family, very
family oriented. And I just was attracted

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to these bad boys because you know, I was attracted to the power,

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to the money, to all the
glitz and glamour. And we should say

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your husband was not your first bad
boy, No, it was your third

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husband. He was my third husband. I had this thing for bad boys,

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this attraction. I always ended up
dating the same type of guy.

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And uncomfortable disclosure. What happened to
the first two. Yes, my first

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husband, uh went to prison for
a drug conspiracy because he also was,

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you know, working with the car
talent selling drugs in Chicago. My second

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husband, he was murdered, and
he was violently murdered, and it was

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probably one of the hardest things that
I ever had to go through in my

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life was losing him. When he
passed away, I made a promise to

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myself that I would never put myself
in that type of situation again, because

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I was just tired of the pain, the suffering, the trauma that I

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endured, and so I wanted to
be with, you know, somebody that

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was like my father, which is
a normal job, a guy that just

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goes nine to five to work exactly. And you know, you don't pick

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and choose who you fall in love
with. And I fell in love with

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my husband today. We've been married
for twenty years. He is a Flores

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twin j Flores who cooperated against Chapel
Guzman. And the reason why I fell

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in love with him is as ironic
as it sounds, is he reminded me

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of my father. He was gentle, soft spoken, respectful, polite,

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kind hearted, and I didn't even
understand what he was doing in the drug

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trade. I mean, he did
not fit your you know it was he

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did not fit your average drug dealer. He was nonviolent, and I knew

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that in this life, you know, in the drug trade, you're gonna

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either walk away either with a life
sentence or you're gonna get killed. And

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I loved him so much I felt
obligated to try to save him. As

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most women, you know, when
they fall in love with somebody, it's

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like you think, Okay, I
could change him. I see the good

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in him, and I saw the
good in Jay, and I made it

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my obligation to try to get him
to change his life. And I knew

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he made me a promise that one
day he would change. I never knew

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that we would end up moving to
Mexico and going through all the hardships that

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we had to endure. I know
that, you know, he of course

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was sitting at the highest echelon,
at the highest level of drug trafficking that

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you can possibly imagine, where money
wasn't an object, and we lived the

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lavish life. But I'm not here
to glamorize that life. I'm here because

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I want to bring awareness to what
that life brings. The money and the

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glitz and the glamour. What you
see on social media is not what it

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is you see you don't see the
trauma. You don't see the murders,

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you don't see the kidnapping. I
mean I at one were in fear every

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day and it was probably one of
the hardest things that we had to go

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through. But as a family,
we made this promise together, and my

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husband he kept his promise and he
decided, while living in Mexico, sitting

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at the table with one of the
most powerful drug lords in the world,

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that he was going to give that
life up. He had everything, money,

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power, and he decided to turn
his back on the cartel and cooperate

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with the US government. He was
not arrested. He turned himself in and

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self surrendered, and we came back
to the US and he knew that he

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was going to spend possibly life in
prison because he wanted to change his life

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for his children and break that cycle. He didn't want to bring our children

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up into that world. When we
come back, I want to talk about

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the moment you guys made that decision. What were your other choices. You're

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listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show
on KFI six forty were live everywhere on

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the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to
KFI AM six forty on demand, Welcome

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Back to The Doctor, Wendywall Show
and I Am six forty were live everywhere

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in the iHeartRadio app. Okay.
My guest is Valflores, author of Cartel

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Wives. She was married to one
of El Choppo's top lieutenants. She and

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her husband made the decision for him
to turn hisself in and cooperate with the

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government so that they could get out
of the life and have a normal life

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for their family. Now, is
there any other way to quit your job

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as a drug dealer? I think
that at that high level that my husband

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and my brother in law, his
twin brother, Pedro Flores, at that

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high level that they were at,
there was no way they can just walk

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away from the cartel, especially them
being a cash call. They've made millions

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and millions of dollars. I mean
my husband, his case was two billion

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dollars and thousands and thousands of tons
of cocaine. So at that level,

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there's no just walking away because they'll
come in the cartel because you're such an

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asset, You're so valuable to them
that the day that you think that you're

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gonna like walk away from that life, they will wipe your whole family out.

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There is no loyalty. There's no
loyalty in that life whatsoever. So

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you can't just go to human resources
and give your two weeks notice. You

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gotta find another way exactly. So, you made a decision together to accept

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the consequences, and your husband turned
himself in. He ended up serving twelve

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years in prison. You were a
dutiful wife during that time, raising children.

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Can you help me understand what the
visitation was like? How often you

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saw your husband? How could he
be a husband and father while he was

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imprisoned? Well, the reason why
my husband chose to sacrifice and give everything

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up and want to undo everything,
you know, all the home and everything

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that he helped create. In order
for him to do that, he was

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walking into a life sentence. So
it was a blessing that he received the

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fourteen years that he received, and
so of which he served twelve. He

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served twelve of the fourteen years eighty
five percent. And we knew exactly what

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we were signing up for. We
knew that it was going to be an

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uphill battle. We knew what it
was going to take for us to continue

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to be a family. Was his
life in danger while he was in prison.

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He was in the witness protection program
in prison, so he was moved

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around to these you know, from
these undisclosed locations around the country that nobody

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talks about. He was moved around
from you know, across the country,

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city to city, and you each
time would move with the kids the prisons

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and I would visit him every single
weekend, and I was devoted to my

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husband. We chose to to sacrifice, and we chose to do this,

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and we wanted to make sure that
our family stayed together, and it was

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important for him to have a close
relationship with our children, because this is

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why we did this, you know, we wanted to you know, break

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that cycle and not bring our children
into this world, into this drug world.

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And so we were going to do
everything possible that we can do as

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parents, as husband and wife to
be able to you know, have that

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close family bond with our children,
something that I was fortunate to have growing

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up. And the only difference was
that we were in a visiting room every

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single weekend for twelve years straight and
we how many hours could you see him?

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I could see him eight hours on
Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and

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so I practically lived there but when
you're sitting in a visitation we would just

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get lost in each other and it's
like everything in that visiting room didn't exist.

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We were just spending quality time.
Were you able to touch each other?

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No, we were able to have
a very you know, short kiss

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when we saw each other, and
a kiss when it was time to say

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goodbye. Wow, And we stuck
through it. And when he did come

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home. I mean it, I'm
sure re entry wasn't a pretty a cake

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walk there, you know, reentry. Yeah, you think like, okay,

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well, I'm visiting my husband every
weekend and I'm spending time with him,

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and we you know, talk every
day and we write each other letters,

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and you feel like it's going to
be this like fairy tale at the

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end. And it's like it was
a transition. It was a transition for

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myself, of course, because as
a mom, you know, I run

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a tight ship at home, and
I'm very strict with my children, and

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you know, and my my children
are used to a routine and now Dad's

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home, and he wanted to come
home and be the Disneyland dad. Why

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do we have to have these roles
exactly? You know, he just wanted

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to cater to his children. I
mean, he's an amazing husband, an

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amazing father, very loving, and
he just always put his he always puts

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his family first and just wants the
very best for us and just showers us

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with love. Do you worry about
your family's safety today? I do live

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in fear. However, I choose
to come out and I chose to you

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know, write my book Cartel Wise, to share my story with the world

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because I do want people to see
the flip side of what that life consists

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of. And it just doesn't have
to it doesn't have to apply just to

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the cartel world. That's anyone that's
you know, with a bad boy,

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that's married to somebody, that's with
somebody that has you know, a criminal

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background. I mean, it's you
know, there's just so much more to

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share, and I wanted people,
you know, I wanted to make myself

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vulnerable and be transparent about my story. Even if some of my stories were

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you know, shameful and I was
embarrassed, I felt I needed to share

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this because you can see the transformation
in my life. You can see the

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growth and how much I evolved as
a woman, and I feel that if

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I didn't go through all of the
st and all of the hardships and all

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of the trauma, I wouldn't be
who I am today. And you know,

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there's a time as you're married and
as you're with somebody who is breaking

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the law, it's like, you
know they I feel like, you know,

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there's something called cognitive dissonance where you
sit there and you want to justify

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you know what, you know,
what you're doing wrong. And I would

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justify it by saying, well,
my husband never killed anyone. He was

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non violent, Like he's not a
killer. That was my rationalization. And

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it's like, no, that's not
okay. What you did was you harmed

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communities. People died because of drugs, and it was you know, it

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for you to be able to look
yourself in the mirror and know that,

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listen, you know I made a
bad choice. I made bad decisions.

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But at the end of the day, I'm going to take something so negative

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and make it positive. And I
need to for myself or my children,

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for everything that I've like, the
damage that I've caused, I need to

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do something that's going to make a
difference, that's going to put a dent

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in the drug trade, that's going
to you know, just try to give

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back. I mean today my husband
is teaching law enforcement. He's teaching law

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enforcement how to catch drug dealers,
how to catch drug dealers. I mean

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that is not just. You know, you can't just sit there. I

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can't just we can't live in fear
and not do something about it. We

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feel like there's something at the end
of the day. We have a purpose

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in life, and that's to do
something positive, to leave something for our

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children, something that we can make
our children proud of the way that I'm

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proud of my parents. Well,
can you stay for one more segment?

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Of course, when we come back, we're going to talk about what's about

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to happen to you in just a
few days. You yourself, mother of

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five, is about to go to
prison. We'll talk about that when we

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come back. You're listening to The
Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Ok, I

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am six forty everywhere on the iHeartRadio
app. You're listening to KFI AM six

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forty on demand. Welcome back to
the Doctor Wendywall Show on KFI AM sixporting

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my guest Val Flores, author of
Cartel Wives, no not a novel,

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a real life story a val being
married to one of the Flora's brothers,

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the team who took down El Chapo
Val. We've talked about why you fell

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in love with the bad guy.
We talked about the glamour. We talked

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about the pain that you went through. We talked about your family's remorse.

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We talked about how you want to
continue to do good, to keep kids

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off drugs, to make sure your
own kids get highly educated. But now

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you're going to prison. How did
this come about? Well, you know,

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when they you know, our sacrifices
came with a very hefty price,

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and in that transformation, I made
mistakes. You know, my husband,

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we lived this lavish life in Mexico, and I got accustomed to that lifestyle.

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It's something I happened to know that
you lived in a mansion so beautiful

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that the fountains in swimming pool looked
like the Blagio hotel. Yes, yes,

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sadly, yes, that's that's the
life that I lived. And it's

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not something that I like to brag
about. It's not something that I like

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that I want to glamorize at all
whatsoever. However, that was the lifestyle

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that I was living. So when
we came back to the US and my

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husband turned himself in. You know, I was accustomed to living, you

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know, in these you know,
beautiful mansions and taking these lavish vacations,

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and so I honestly, when I
came back, I thought that I was

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you know, downgraded, and I
thought that I was living a normal,

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simple life, which was far from
normal still at that point, and I

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was spending money, and so I
got charged with money laundering. You know,

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I took accountability for my crime,
and I am now facing three and

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a half years. I will be
turning myself in and the next few days

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and I'll be going to a federal
prison. What is that like for you?

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Emotionally? You know, I learned, I went through you know,

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so much. You know, I
so many mixed emotions, right, you

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know, I battled with this,
you know, I kind of struggled with

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taking accountability. And today, of
course, I take one hundred percent accountability.

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But I felt like when my husband
and my brother in law cooperated against

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one of the most violent narco terrorists
in the world, you know, they

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had a deal with the government,
and in that deal, their family was

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not supposed to be prosecuted and we
were to have immunity. I did disclose

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to the US government about the money
that I did have, and I felt

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that that money was immunionized, and
I felt that even though I was spending

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that money to live, I did
not think that I was, you know,

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breaking the law, breaking the law
and the deal that they'd struck exactly.

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And today I realized that it was
wrong and I shouldn't have did it.

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But at the end of the day, I did believe that I was

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not committing a crime, or else
they would have never did that. And

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it's hurtful because now I look at
my children, and my kids are older.

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What age range do they range from? I have three that have graduated

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college already and two that are in
high school now, Oh so they're still

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in high school? Yes, And
so when I look at my children,

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you know, I feel it's the
most hurtful thing. And it's it's very

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disheartening knowing that this is what I'm
doing to my kids, especially them having

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to seeing them struggle with their dad
being in prison and seeing their my children's

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you know, just their their pain
that that was caused by not having dad

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home. I can't even imagine and
what it would be like for them not

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having mom, especially when I've been
there their whole life. I was mom

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and dad their whole life. That
this is you know, it's hard to

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walk away from my children and knowing
that, you know there's going to be

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a void that could never be filled
and as are they going to be able

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to visit you? Because of my
husband's security and because I'm going to be

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in the Federal Bureau prisons. He
cannot step foot into any of the prisons

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just because of the security issues.
Too dangerous for him, too dangerous for

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him and myself more so, just
because is that would identify you, Yes,

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exactly so. And your children they
can't come well because they're miners,

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they can't come without him. No, So I'm basically signing up to walk

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away and just be able to do
my time and just try to get through

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it. But I do have a
very strong support system and I I am

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just trying to stay positive. As
crazy as it sounds, as a mother,

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I just couldn't imagine, no,
what you're about to are now,

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are you terrified? I am.
I feel like I'm just more so about

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just knowing what it feels like to
be alone. I think that's the most

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like painful thing, and that's what
I struggle with the most, and you

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know, I just can't be there
for my children, and you know,

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we work so hard. We honestly
thought that when my husband was going to

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come home from prison, like we
were just going to start this new life

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and it was going to be this
fairy tale and it's far from it.

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But I do stay positive, and
I do try to look at things through

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a different lens, and I do
feel like, you know what, one

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day, we're going to get there. And maybe it's not right now,

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but I believe that I am today
where I'm supposed to be, and there

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is still a lesson out there that
I need to learn, and I am

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open with an open mind and an
open heart, and I know that whatever

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that lesson is, I'm going to
accept it, and I'm going to continue

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to grow, and I'm going to
continue to evolve, and I'm going to

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continue to be a better woman.
You know, I met many people in

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my life, people who are resilient, people who are hearty, people who

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have amazing mental health despite trauma.
And I feel like you are one of

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the top on my list. I
know what you did was wrong, and

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people listening will say, you know, some of them are going to say,

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well, it serves her right,
serves him right morally, judge if

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you want. Okay is a human
being who's growing. Yes, And I

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often say when I see these situations, there but for the grace of God

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go I. In any moment,
something could happen in our lives that would

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force us to make a decision based
on survival that would break the law.

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And so val will you are you
able to keep in touch with us while

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you're in prison. I would love
to keep up with your story. I

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definitely will. I'm one of your
biggest fans, so I'm very privileged to

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be here and thank you for having
me. And we do want to make

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sure that we mentioned your podcast,
because you and your husband have an iHeartRadio

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podcast. Correct, what is it
called and how can people find it?

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It's Surviving ol Chapel and we have
season one and season two on iHeartRadio or

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anywhere you get your podcasts. But
you can't make any podcasts from prison,

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right, they won't let you.
We just finished recording our second season and

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we just finished doing our docu saries, so that would be coming out as

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well. I happen to know that
you're in Los Angeles because they wanted to

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get you on camera before the federal
government took you away. Exactly. Yes,

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Val, thanks for telling your story, Thank you for having me,

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and God bless all those children.
I hope that they get through this yet

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another trauma together. But you guys
seem like great parents. Thanks for being

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here today. Thank you. You're
listening to The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on

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KFI AM six forty. We live
everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening

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00:24:07.319 --> 00:24:12.480
to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall

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00:24:12.559 --> 00:24:18.240
Show on KFI AM six forty.
Kayla, that was some interview. Oh

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my goodness, she's such a bite
thing and she was. I just love

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how optimistic she was. She was
so positive about writing and also remorseful shamed,

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I was saying to her on the
break. Actually, that probably the

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hardest emotion for every human to tolerate
is the feeling of shame, right because

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you know, in our anthropological past, if we were shunned by the tribe,

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which is what shame is, worried
what other people think of you,

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then you would, you know,
unfortunately, die out in the wilderness alone.

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And so shame is probably one of
the most probably the most painful emotion,

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whether you call it embarrassment or shame
or guilt, you know, those

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feelings that we have. And she's
able to tolerate this shame and be very

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open and vulnerable about her mistakes,
the mistakes of our husband. But you

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know, she was in a catch
twenty two. It's like, try to

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quit your job and get your whole
family killed, or go cooperate with the

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government. I don't think there's a
win there. Yeah, I mean,

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I know there are people going,
well, they got themselves into that situation.

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It's not about how they got there, it's about what they did with

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it once they were there and where
they're going. So that I can't wait

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to listen to more of her podcast. Okay, before we go, let's

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talk a little bit about our New
Year's resolutions, because tomorrow's coming and that's

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day one. Although start on the
second or third, you don't have to

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00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:37.519
start on the first. Go out
for make a nice brunch. All right,

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here's what science says of how best
we can learn to keep our New

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Year's resolutions. First of all,
don't make too many of them. Number

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one, we have this idea that
we want to lose weight and quit smoking

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and quit drinking and start running and
have a better relationship and save money.

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Nope, nope, nope, nope
nope. Behavior modification works best when you

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work on one behavior at a time, and once you succeed in making that

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new positive behavior habit, then you
can move to the next one and it

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00:26:07.880 --> 00:26:12.039
becomes each new one becomes easier because
you have this sense of accomplishment, you

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know the roadmap to getting it done. Now, I do want to say

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that besides narrowing your resolutions, I
want you to make a plan for it.

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So, in other words, words
mean nothing, will power means nothing.

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The best way to make a plan
is to list all the obstacles,

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literally, all the things that are
going to get in your way that are

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going to be a problem. Like
I said to you at the beginning of

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the show, Kayla, that I
want to do dry January and not drink.

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But the problem is I'm going to
Paris to visit my daughter in a

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few weeks and we're going out to
a vineyard in Bordeaux, so it's not

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going to happen. So I'm going
to plan for my dryness to come later.

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Okay, So think about your obstacles, think about what you need to

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what is going to stop, and
not just the obstacles, what you're gonna

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do when faced with that obstacle.
So you're going to have setbacks, and

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part of the planning is not only
imagining the obstacles but also understanding that you're

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gonna fall off the wagon. And
that doesn't mean you throw out the resolution.

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Try, try, try again until
you get it right right. I

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also want you to set achievable,
attainable, specific goals. Instead of saying,

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I'm gonna exercise more this year,
I'm gonna lose twenty pounds this year,

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00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:42.559
how about saying I'm gonna do cardio
three times a week and I'm gonna

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do weights once a week. I'm
only gonna have dessert on Saturdays, and

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I'd like to lose two pounds a
week. Right, Like, that's attainable,

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achievable. So avoid like absolutes,
like avoid like never always, just

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give yourself grace, grace from the
beginning. Also, there's research to show

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that when you achieve small milestones,
they don't have to be big ones.

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Giving yourself a reward is super important. So, for instance, when I

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take up a new exercise program.
I always start out with my old,

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ugly exercise clothes and then I say, okay, when I get to this

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date, I'm going to buy myself
new sneakers as a result. Right,

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So, if your reward for losing
weight is to eat a lot of sugar,

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though probably not a good idea,
how about buying yourself something that you

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can now fit into. Right,
So, small achievable goals are very very

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important. It's also important that you
pick a brand new goal to you.

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So if you've tried every year to
quit smoking, maybe this is the year

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you're going to work on your finances
and saving do something completely different. As

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I said earlier, every time you
achieve a specific new goal, it makes

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you stronger. It teaches you that
you can do it, and then you

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00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:04.160
can go to those harder goals that
you might have failed with earlier. It's

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00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:10.240
also don't forget this super important.
Make sure you get social support. It's

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so much easier to achieve anything when
you have a partner. Don't just go

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00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:18.519
join a gym and say yeah,
I'm gonna go find somebody. Well.

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First of all, there's research to
show that group exercise classes people stick to

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00:29:22.400 --> 00:29:25.119
better than going to the gym by
themselves. So join group exercise class,

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or find a friend to walk with, do something. You need to lean

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on people for your healthier eating habits. You're healthier exercise and even your spending

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stuff. Right now, it takes
about, according to research, sixty six

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00:29:41.200 --> 00:29:48.119
days to actually form a new habit
where it's ingrained and where it's automatic.

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One of the things you can do
to help that along is to figure out

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00:29:52.920 --> 00:29:56.480
you can piggyback a new good habit
on top of well, a habit that's

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already there. It doesn't have to
be bad. For instance, I would

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00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:03.319
always forget to take my vitamins,
and there's this special one I'm supposed to

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take. So you know what I
learned to do. I used to put

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before I go to bed, I
put my vitamins in my coffee cup on

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the counter. So when I go
to board my coffee in the morning,

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I see my vitamins and it makes
me. That's called piggybacking. Now,

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00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:17.960
there was somebody else I read the
I think I was a podcast I listened

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00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:19.160
to was saying that they wanted to
get up early and they want to go

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00:30:19.279 --> 00:30:23.119
jogging every morning, and it was
just some of the some One person said,

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00:30:23.160 --> 00:30:26.799
well, what I do is I
put my jogging clothes right down on

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00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:30.599
the floor beside the bed with the
shoes unlaced and open. So I just

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00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:32.799
slide it. There's no questions,
Just get up, put it on go.

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00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.480
But then another person said that they
learned to sleep in their jogging clothes.

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Okay, that's look, whatever it
takes, whatever it takes, okay,

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00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:47.960
So don't make too many resolutions,
make a plan for the obstacles.

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Understand you're going to have setbacks.
It doesn't mean that you just quit.

409
00:30:51.720 --> 00:30:55.759
Get social support, figure out a
way to get this done. I have

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00:30:55.799 --> 00:31:00.160
a feeling that this is going to
be your year. Make it small,

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00:31:00.599 --> 00:31:03.880
attainable, have a reward, and
have some friends with you when you do

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00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:07.599
it. Okay, Kayla, when
you're the best, you make it small

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00:31:07.640 --> 00:31:11.680
attainable, and I have friends with
me while I do it. Exactly,

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00:31:11.720 --> 00:31:12.799
put a smile on your face.
But you already have a smile on your

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00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:18.119
face wherever you go. Anyway,
Happy New Year to everybody. We will

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00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:22.160
see you in twenty twenty four.
You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh

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00:31:22.200 --> 00:31:27.400
Show but Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio
app as well as KFI AM sixty,

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00:31:27.880 --> 00:31:30.400
KFI AM six forty on demand