You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor
Andy Wall Show ONFI AM six forty. Were live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app.
So I was talking about bad boys, and there are all kinds of
reasons why women get attracted to bad boys, And there are different kinds of
bad boys. They are the ones that just break your heart. They are
the ones that come and go and they have an avoidant detachment style and they
can't really give you emotional intimacy. And then there are the real bad boys,
the ones who break the law, and these guys can be very attractive
to women. I have a very special guest in the studio who is actually
in the Witness Protection program partly because of her steadfast love to a guy very
high up an organized crime, and she's about to pay the ultimate price.
Now, before I introduce you, what name am I calling you today?
Well, I go by the pseudu name of Olivia Flores, which is a
name that I wrote my book under Cartile Wives, and today it's just me
Val. You're coming out as Val. Is that the name your parents gave
you when you were born? Yes, it is back to authentic. You
after everything you've been through. You are the author of the book Cartel Wives
in a Nutshell. I will say that your husband worked under El Chapo and
was instrumental in bringing El Chapo down, and then the two of you as
a team turned yourselves in and your husband paid the ultimate price, spending twelve
years in prison. Set it up for how you stayed in love during this
time. You had between you five children. What were those twelve years like
for you? Those twelve years we walked into knowing that when my husband turned
himself in and he was going to cooperate with the US government, that he
was going to ultimately turn on one of the most powerful cartels in the world,
which is the Sinaloa Cartel, and Chapel was the head boss of that
cartel. So my husband and his twin brother, the Flores twins from Chicago,
they decided to change their life and cooperate. And not only did they
cooperate, but they helped dismantle the Sinaloa Cartel by indicting over one hundred different
lieutenants, cartel leaders, bosses. And in that cooperation, our goal as
a family was to have them turn themselves in due prison time and US change
our life. And on top of that, they were able to dismantle an
organization that they helped build. So you as a team. You and your
husband were living in Mexico, as I understand it, in a mansion,
the money was flowing. Was was the initial attraction to a bad boy about
the glamorous life for you? Yes? It was. You know, I
grew up. I come from a great, you know, home loving home.
My father's a Chicago police officer, A police officer, yes, a
Chicago police officer twenty seven years. My whole family comes from law enforcement.
I went to private school growing up. I came from a great, you
know, tight knit family, very family oriented. And I just was attracted
to these bad boys because you know, I was attracted to the power,
to the money, to all the glitz and glamour. And we should say
your husband was not your first bad boy, No, it was your third
husband. He was my third husband. I had this thing for bad boys,
this attraction. I always ended up dating the same type of guy.
And uncomfortable disclosure. What happened to the first two. Yes, my first
husband, uh went to prison for a drug conspiracy because he also was,
you know, working with the car talent selling drugs in Chicago. My second
husband, he was murdered, and he was violently murdered, and it was
probably one of the hardest things that I ever had to go through in my
life was losing him. When he passed away, I made a promise to
myself that I would never put myself in that type of situation again, because
I was just tired of the pain, the suffering, the trauma that I
endured, and so I wanted to be with, you know, somebody that
was like my father, which is a normal job, a guy that just
goes nine to five to work exactly. And you know, you don't pick
and choose who you fall in love with. And I fell in love with
my husband today. We've been married for twenty years. He is a Flores
twin j Flores who cooperated against Chapel Guzman. And the reason why I fell
in love with him is as ironic as it sounds, is he reminded me
of my father. He was gentle, soft spoken, respectful, polite,
kind hearted, and I didn't even understand what he was doing in the drug
trade. I mean, he did not fit your you know it was he
did not fit your average drug dealer. He was nonviolent, and I knew
that in this life, you know, in the drug trade, you're gonna
either walk away either with a life sentence or you're gonna get killed. And
I loved him so much I felt obligated to try to save him. As
most women, you know, when they fall in love with somebody, it's
like you think, Okay, I could change him. I see the good
in him, and I saw the good in Jay, and I made it
my obligation to try to get him to change his life. And I knew
he made me a promise that one day he would change. I never knew
that we would end up moving to Mexico and going through all the hardships that
we had to endure. I know that, you know, he of course
was sitting at the highest echelon, at the highest level of drug trafficking that
you can possibly imagine, where money wasn't an object, and we lived the
lavish life. But I'm not here to glamorize that life. I'm here because
I want to bring awareness to what that life brings. The money and the
glitz and the glamour. What you see on social media is not what it
is you see you don't see the trauma. You don't see the murders,
you don't see the kidnapping. I mean I at one were in fear every
day and it was probably one of the hardest things that we had to go
through. But as a family, we made this promise together, and my
husband he kept his promise and he decided, while living in Mexico, sitting
at the table with one of the most powerful drug lords in the world,
that he was going to give that life up. He had everything, money,
power, and he decided to turn his back on the cartel and cooperate
with the US government. He was not arrested. He turned himself in and
self surrendered, and we came back to the US and he knew that he
was going to spend possibly life in prison because he wanted to change his life
for his children and break that cycle. He didn't want to bring our children
up into that world. When we come back, I want to talk about
the moment you guys made that decision. What were your other choices. You're
listening to the Doctor Wendy Wall Show on KFI six forty were live everywhere on
the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six forty on demand, Welcome
Back to The Doctor, Wendywall Show and I Am six forty were live everywhere
in the iHeartRadio app. Okay. My guest is Valflores, author of Cartel
Wives. She was married to one of El Choppo's top lieutenants. She and
her husband made the decision for him to turn hisself in and cooperate with the
government so that they could get out of the life and have a normal life
for their family. Now, is there any other way to quit your job
as a drug dealer? I think that at that high level that my husband
and my brother in law, his twin brother, Pedro Flores, at that
high level that they were at, there was no way they can just walk
away from the cartel, especially them being a cash call. They've made millions
and millions of dollars. I mean my husband, his case was two billion
dollars and thousands and thousands of tons of cocaine. So at that level,
there's no just walking away because they'll come in the cartel because you're such an
asset, You're so valuable to them that the day that you think that you're
gonna like walk away from that life, they will wipe your whole family out.
There is no loyalty. There's no loyalty in that life whatsoever. So
you can't just go to human resources and give your two weeks notice. You
gotta find another way exactly. So, you made a decision together to accept
the consequences, and your husband turned himself in. He ended up serving twelve
years in prison. You were a dutiful wife during that time, raising children.
Can you help me understand what the visitation was like? How often you
saw your husband? How could he be a husband and father while he was
imprisoned? Well, the reason why my husband chose to sacrifice and give everything
up and want to undo everything, you know, all the home and everything
that he helped create. In order for him to do that, he was
walking into a life sentence. So it was a blessing that he received the
fourteen years that he received, and so of which he served twelve. He
served twelve of the fourteen years eighty five percent. And we knew exactly what
we were signing up for. We knew that it was going to be an
uphill battle. We knew what it was going to take for us to continue
to be a family. Was his life in danger while he was in prison.
He was in the witness protection program in prison, so he was moved
around to these you know, from these undisclosed locations around the country that nobody
talks about. He was moved around from you know, across the country,
city to city, and you each time would move with the kids the prisons
and I would visit him every single weekend, and I was devoted to my
husband. We chose to to sacrifice, and we chose to do this,
and we wanted to make sure that our family stayed together, and it was
important for him to have a close relationship with our children, because this is
why we did this, you know, we wanted to you know, break
that cycle and not bring our children into this world, into this drug world.
And so we were going to do everything possible that we can do as
parents, as husband and wife to be able to you know, have that
close family bond with our children, something that I was fortunate to have growing
up. And the only difference was that we were in a visiting room every
single weekend for twelve years straight and we how many hours could you see him?
I could see him eight hours on Saturday, Sunday and Monday, and
so I practically lived there but when you're sitting in a visitation we would just
get lost in each other and it's like everything in that visiting room didn't exist.
We were just spending quality time. Were you able to touch each other?
No, we were able to have a very you know, short kiss
when we saw each other, and a kiss when it was time to say
goodbye. Wow, And we stuck through it. And when he did come
home. I mean it, I'm sure re entry wasn't a pretty a cake
walk there, you know, reentry. Yeah, you think like, okay,
well, I'm visiting my husband every weekend and I'm spending time with him,
and we you know, talk every day and we write each other letters,
and you feel like it's going to be this like fairy tale at the
end. And it's like it was a transition. It was a transition for
myself, of course, because as a mom, you know, I run
a tight ship at home, and I'm very strict with my children, and
you know, and my my children are used to a routine and now Dad's
home, and he wanted to come home and be the Disneyland dad. Why
do we have to have these roles exactly? You know, he just wanted
to cater to his children. I mean, he's an amazing husband, an
amazing father, very loving, and he just always put his he always puts
his family first and just wants the very best for us and just showers us
with love. Do you worry about your family's safety today? I do live
in fear. However, I choose to come out and I chose to you
know, write my book Cartel Wise, to share my story with the world
because I do want people to see the flip side of what that life consists
of. And it just doesn't have to it doesn't have to apply just to
the cartel world. That's anyone that's you know, with a bad boy,
that's married to somebody, that's with somebody that has you know, a criminal
background. I mean, it's you know, there's just so much more to
share, and I wanted people, you know, I wanted to make myself
vulnerable and be transparent about my story. Even if some of my stories were
you know, shameful and I was embarrassed, I felt I needed to share
this because you can see the transformation in my life. You can see the
growth and how much I evolved as a woman, and I feel that if
I didn't go through all of the st and all of the hardships and all
of the trauma, I wouldn't be who I am today. And you know,
there's a time as you're married and as you're with somebody who is breaking
the law, it's like, you know they I feel like, you know,
there's something called cognitive dissonance where you sit there and you want to justify
you know what, you know, what you're doing wrong. And I would
justify it by saying, well, my husband never killed anyone. He was
non violent, Like he's not a killer. That was my rationalization. And
it's like, no, that's not okay. What you did was you harmed
communities. People died because of drugs, and it was you know, it
for you to be able to look yourself in the mirror and know that,
listen, you know I made a bad choice. I made bad decisions.
But at the end of the day, I'm going to take something so negative
and make it positive. And I need to for myself or my children,
for everything that I've like, the damage that I've caused, I need to
do something that's going to make a difference, that's going to put a dent
in the drug trade, that's going to you know, just try to give
back. I mean today my husband is teaching law enforcement. He's teaching law
enforcement how to catch drug dealers, how to catch drug dealers. I mean
that is not just. You know, you can't just sit there. I
can't just we can't live in fear and not do something about it. We
feel like there's something at the end of the day. We have a purpose
in life, and that's to do something positive, to leave something for our
children, something that we can make our children proud of the way that I'm
proud of my parents. Well, can you stay for one more segment?
Of course, when we come back, we're going to talk about what's about
to happen to you in just a few days. You yourself, mother of
five, is about to go to prison. We'll talk about that when we
come back. You're listening to The Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Ok, I
am six forty everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening to KFI AM six
forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendywall Show on KFI AM sixporting
my guest Val Flores, author of Cartel Wives, no not a novel,
a real life story a val being married to one of the Flora's brothers,
the team who took down El Chapo Val. We've talked about why you fell
in love with the bad guy. We talked about the glamour. We talked
about the pain that you went through. We talked about your family's remorse.
We talked about how you want to continue to do good, to keep kids
off drugs, to make sure your own kids get highly educated. But now
you're going to prison. How did this come about? Well, you know,
when they you know, our sacrifices came with a very hefty price,
and in that transformation, I made mistakes. You know, my husband,
we lived this lavish life in Mexico, and I got accustomed to that lifestyle.
It's something I happened to know that you lived in a mansion so beautiful
that the fountains in swimming pool looked like the Blagio hotel. Yes, yes,
sadly, yes, that's that's the life that I lived. And it's
not something that I like to brag about. It's not something that I like
that I want to glamorize at all whatsoever. However, that was the lifestyle
that I was living. So when we came back to the US and my
husband turned himself in. You know, I was accustomed to living, you
know, in these you know, beautiful mansions and taking these lavish vacations,
and so I honestly, when I came back, I thought that I was
you know, downgraded, and I thought that I was living a normal,
simple life, which was far from normal still at that point, and I
was spending money, and so I got charged with money laundering. You know,
I took accountability for my crime, and I am now facing three and
a half years. I will be turning myself in and the next few days
and I'll be going to a federal prison. What is that like for you?
Emotionally? You know, I learned, I went through you know,
so much. You know, I so many mixed emotions, right, you
know, I battled with this, you know, I kind of struggled with
taking accountability. And today, of course, I take one hundred percent accountability.
But I felt like when my husband and my brother in law cooperated against
one of the most violent narco terrorists in the world, you know, they
had a deal with the government, and in that deal, their family was
not supposed to be prosecuted and we were to have immunity. I did disclose
to the US government about the money that I did have, and I felt
that that money was immunionized, and I felt that even though I was spending
that money to live, I did not think that I was, you know,
breaking the law, breaking the law and the deal that they'd struck exactly.
And today I realized that it was wrong and I shouldn't have did it.
But at the end of the day, I did believe that I was
not committing a crime, or else they would have never did that. And
it's hurtful because now I look at my children, and my kids are older.
What age range do they range from? I have three that have graduated
college already and two that are in high school now, Oh so they're still
in high school? Yes, And so when I look at my children,
you know, I feel it's the most hurtful thing. And it's it's very
disheartening knowing that this is what I'm doing to my kids, especially them having
to seeing them struggle with their dad being in prison and seeing their my children's
you know, just their their pain that that was caused by not having dad
home. I can't even imagine and what it would be like for them not
having mom, especially when I've been there their whole life. I was mom
and dad their whole life. That this is you know, it's hard to
walk away from my children and knowing that, you know there's going to be
a void that could never be filled and as are they going to be able
to visit you? Because of my husband's security and because I'm going to be
in the Federal Bureau prisons. He cannot step foot into any of the prisons
just because of the security issues. Too dangerous for him, too dangerous for
him and myself more so, just because is that would identify you, Yes,
exactly so. And your children they can't come well because they're miners,
they can't come without him. No, So I'm basically signing up to walk
away and just be able to do my time and just try to get through
it. But I do have a very strong support system and I I am
just trying to stay positive. As crazy as it sounds, as a mother,
I just couldn't imagine, no, what you're about to are now,
are you terrified? I am. I feel like I'm just more so about
just knowing what it feels like to be alone. I think that's the most
like painful thing, and that's what I struggle with the most, and you
know, I just can't be there for my children, and you know,
we work so hard. We honestly thought that when my husband was going to
come home from prison, like we were just going to start this new life
and it was going to be this fairy tale and it's far from it.
But I do stay positive, and I do try to look at things through
a different lens, and I do feel like, you know what, one
day, we're going to get there. And maybe it's not right now,
but I believe that I am today where I'm supposed to be, and there
is still a lesson out there that I need to learn, and I am
open with an open mind and an open heart, and I know that whatever
that lesson is, I'm going to accept it, and I'm going to continue
to grow, and I'm going to continue to evolve, and I'm going to
continue to be a better woman. You know, I met many people in
my life, people who are resilient, people who are hearty, people who
have amazing mental health despite trauma. And I feel like you are one of
the top on my list. I know what you did was wrong, and
people listening will say, you know, some of them are going to say,
well, it serves her right, serves him right morally, judge if
you want. Okay is a human being who's growing. Yes, And I
often say when I see these situations, there but for the grace of God
go I. In any moment, something could happen in our lives that would
force us to make a decision based on survival that would break the law.
And so val will you are you able to keep in touch with us while
you're in prison. I would love to keep up with your story. I
definitely will. I'm one of your biggest fans, so I'm very privileged to
be here and thank you for having me. And we do want to make
sure that we mentioned your podcast, because you and your husband have an iHeartRadio
podcast. Correct, what is it called and how can people find it?
It's Surviving ol Chapel and we have season one and season two on iHeartRadio or
anywhere you get your podcasts. But you can't make any podcasts from prison,
right, they won't let you. We just finished recording our second season and
we just finished doing our docu saries, so that would be coming out as
well. I happen to know that you're in Los Angeles because they wanted to
get you on camera before the federal government took you away. Exactly. Yes,
Val, thanks for telling your story, Thank you for having me,
and God bless all those children. I hope that they get through this yet
another trauma together. But you guys seem like great parents. Thanks for being
here today. Thank you. You're listening to The Doctor Wendy Wall Show on
KFI AM six forty. We live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You're listening
to KFI AM six forty on demand. Welcome back to the Doctor Wendy Wall
Show on KFI AM six forty. Kayla, that was some interview. Oh
my goodness, she's such a bite thing and she was. I just love
how optimistic she was. She was so positive about writing and also remorseful shamed,
I was saying to her on the break. Actually, that probably the
hardest emotion for every human to tolerate is the feeling of shame, right because
you know, in our anthropological past, if we were shunned by the tribe,
which is what shame is, worried what other people think of you,
then you would, you know, unfortunately, die out in the wilderness alone.
And so shame is probably one of the most probably the most painful emotion,
whether you call it embarrassment or shame or guilt, you know, those
feelings that we have. And she's able to tolerate this shame and be very
open and vulnerable about her mistakes, the mistakes of our husband. But you
know, she was in a catch twenty two. It's like, try to
quit your job and get your whole family killed, or go cooperate with the
government. I don't think there's a win there. Yeah, I mean,
I know there are people going, well, they got themselves into that situation.
It's not about how they got there, it's about what they did with
it once they were there and where they're going. So that I can't wait
to listen to more of her podcast. Okay, before we go, let's
talk a little bit about our New Year's resolutions, because tomorrow's coming and that's
day one. Although start on the second or third, you don't have to
start on the first. Go out for make a nice brunch. All right,
here's what science says of how best we can learn to keep our New
Year's resolutions. First of all, don't make too many of them. Number
one, we have this idea that we want to lose weight and quit smoking
and quit drinking and start running and have a better relationship and save money.
Nope, nope, nope, nope nope. Behavior modification works best when you
work on one behavior at a time, and once you succeed in making that
new positive behavior habit, then you can move to the next one and it
becomes each new one becomes easier because you have this sense of accomplishment, you
know the roadmap to getting it done. Now, I do want to say
that besides narrowing your resolutions, I want you to make a plan for it.
So, in other words, words mean nothing, will power means nothing.
The best way to make a plan is to list all the obstacles,
literally, all the things that are going to get in your way that are
going to be a problem. Like I said to you at the beginning of
the show, Kayla, that I want to do dry January and not drink.
But the problem is I'm going to Paris to visit my daughter in a
few weeks and we're going out to a vineyard in Bordeaux, so it's not
going to happen. So I'm going to plan for my dryness to come later.
Okay, So think about your obstacles, think about what you need to
what is going to stop, and not just the obstacles, what you're gonna
do when faced with that obstacle. So you're going to have setbacks, and
part of the planning is not only imagining the obstacles but also understanding that you're
gonna fall off the wagon. And that doesn't mean you throw out the resolution.
Try, try, try again until you get it right right. I
also want you to set achievable, attainable, specific goals. Instead of saying,
I'm gonna exercise more this year, I'm gonna lose twenty pounds this year,
how about saying I'm gonna do cardio three times a week and I'm gonna
do weights once a week. I'm only gonna have dessert on Saturdays, and
I'd like to lose two pounds a week. Right, Like, that's attainable,
achievable. So avoid like absolutes, like avoid like never always, just
give yourself grace, grace from the beginning. Also, there's research to show
that when you achieve small milestones, they don't have to be big ones.
Giving yourself a reward is super important. So, for instance, when I
take up a new exercise program. I always start out with my old,
ugly exercise clothes and then I say, okay, when I get to this
date, I'm going to buy myself new sneakers as a result. Right,
So, if your reward for losing weight is to eat a lot of sugar,
though probably not a good idea, how about buying yourself something that you
can now fit into. Right, So, small achievable goals are very very
important. It's also important that you pick a brand new goal to you.
So if you've tried every year to quit smoking, maybe this is the year
you're going to work on your finances and saving do something completely different. As
I said earlier, every time you achieve a specific new goal, it makes
you stronger. It teaches you that you can do it, and then you
can go to those harder goals that you might have failed with earlier. It's
also don't forget this super important. Make sure you get social support. It's
so much easier to achieve anything when you have a partner. Don't just go
join a gym and say yeah, I'm gonna go find somebody. Well.
First of all, there's research to show that group exercise classes people stick to
better than going to the gym by themselves. So join group exercise class,
or find a friend to walk with, do something. You need to lean
on people for your healthier eating habits. You're healthier exercise and even your spending
stuff. Right now, it takes about, according to research, sixty six
days to actually form a new habit where it's ingrained and where it's automatic.
One of the things you can do to help that along is to figure out
you can piggyback a new good habit on top of well, a habit that's
already there. It doesn't have to be bad. For instance, I would
always forget to take my vitamins, and there's this special one I'm supposed to
take. So you know what I learned to do. I used to put
before I go to bed, I put my vitamins in my coffee cup on
the counter. So when I go to board my coffee in the morning,
I see my vitamins and it makes me. That's called piggybacking. Now,
there was somebody else I read the I think I was a podcast I listened
to was saying that they wanted to get up early and they want to go
jogging every morning, and it was just some of the some One person said,
well, what I do is I put my jogging clothes right down on
the floor beside the bed with the shoes unlaced and open. So I just
slide it. There's no questions, Just get up, put it on go.
But then another person said that they learned to sleep in their jogging clothes.
Okay, that's look, whatever it takes, whatever it takes, okay,
So don't make too many resolutions, make a plan for the obstacles.
Understand you're going to have setbacks. It doesn't mean that you just quit.
Get social support, figure out a way to get this done. I have
a feeling that this is going to be your year. Make it small,
attainable, have a reward, and have some friends with you when you do
it. Okay, Kayla, when you're the best, you make it small
attainable, and I have friends with me while I do it. Exactly,
put a smile on your face. But you already have a smile on your
face wherever you go. Anyway, Happy New Year to everybody. We will
see you in twenty twenty four. You've been listening to the Doctor Wendy Walsh
Show but Live Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app as well as KFI AM sixty,
KFI AM six forty on demand