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Welcome to soft core History. What
is up? Welcome back to soft core

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History. I am your host for
the week, Rob Fox. I am

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joined as always by Dan Rejester and
Jake Goldman. How you doing to day,

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guys. Fucking joyous day, joyous
day. It's a great day,

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great day, great day for Dan. Actually, Dan, tell the people

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they don't need to know. Okay, fine, I don't need to know

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my financial business, especially you're a
legal financial business. Yeah, because none

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of what none of the money you
made you made legally. No, not

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as bad as it sounds, but
it's not legal. It's true. What

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is state at least? Yeah?
What is the legality? Like it's pretty

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gray now, isn't it? How
you made your money? Like, isn't

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well for you? Specifically? It's
not great. It's very black, but

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it's very black. It's very dark. It's dark. But like the US

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doesn't need this. Oh no,
it's a terrible advice to get into.

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Yeah, not when you though,
baby, that's right. Wins. Oh,

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now we know what it is,
Chigasa, we know what it is.

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Uh. I played bingo online Bingo
one. I went to a hall,

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dude, there's one not too far
from my house. And I've always

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kitty are like maybe we go they
have some gigantic prizes, rackets. It's

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a fucking whole thing. I think
it used to be like a thing.

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There's definitely some type of dirty money
that gets kind of washed in a bingo

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hall, especially when they're mentally not
all there. Of course, just give

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them a different card. Oh you
didn't have bingo, swap it out?

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Yeah. Uh that like the sweep
steaks shit that's around here, Like all

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the fake casinos that are just like
digital slots on video screens where it's like

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you have to give a donation.
It's like, what what are you all

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doing in here? I'm also down
about the conspiracy that all these California winners

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for the Latto for power Ball?
What about it? The reason they're rigging

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it so, uh, the stake
can collect it half, so just that

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state. So then California has bigger
state taxes than like a Texas winner,

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So a big bigger portion if you
win a billion in the power ball,

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which is like like the last two
have been from California, the most popular

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state in the Union, and essentially
right that has nothing to do with it.

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There's like almost by like almost double. Yeah, it's fifty million in

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California. Texas is the second biggest
with like thirty million or something like that.

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Yeah, but yeahs anyway, Yeah, but no, they get they

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get a bigger portion of the taxes, so they get five hundred million dollars

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just into their into their bank or
whatever. I'm down with that. It's

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not I mean, obviously a population
thing, but not it is rigged.

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It's rigged. That's it's always rigged. That's why I haven't wonted. If

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I'm moved to California right now,
I bet you win the lottery. Yeah,

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when I lose, it's not my
problem. No fucking government man,

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So they could move more whatever.
Anyway. Uh, couple things, little

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house cleaning before we go. First
off, we have a Patreon Patreon dot

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com slash softcore history on it.
You get two extra episodes a week U

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more episodes like this, plus other
fun stuff. Voicemails. Think we're finishing

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up our risk risk game this week. No, not this week. Once

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Joel's wife is gone. Okay,
so a couple of weeks. So Joel

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had his wife come into town for
the month, and I don't want to

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like pull him away from his Uh, she could, she could strategize with

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him. Yeah, why not bring
her in? But I mean it's it's

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it's still annoying of us to take
his time. He's got he's got a

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rental wife. We do not good. Sorry, I just yah, she

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has mail order, but it's like
may Order rental, it's like old Netflix.

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But she still lives in the Czech
Republic. I know they're still kind

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of battling out green card issues.
I told her to just enter through the

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border down South. Come. Everybody's
doing it. That's, by the way,

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the myth that if you get married, bang sit us in the next

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day, No, does not at
fucking all, not when you're white,

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not even when you're white, not
even a blonde blue eyes, blue eyes,

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Yeah, white ninety day Fiance has
been on our TV a little bit

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more lately. Yeah, that's just
kind of turned into like daytime background ship.

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That is the most hilarious show.
I don't understand how, you know,

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people get like canceled all the time
for like old things they said on

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a podcast or or whatever whatever,
some old mood or like obviously Robert Downing

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Junior in blackface in Tropic Thunder or
maybe or like how they or about how

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they are, Like I think people
give him the past because it's literally twitter.

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I think it's hold of it every
now and then. Yeah, or

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like people will sometimes shot on like
Seth Rogan for like super Bad saying the

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word like fag a thousand times.
You know what I mean, he's being

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a cop so tracks No, he
doesn't even say it, it's just in

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the scripty road. Oh yeah.
But like it's funny to me that no

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one has ever thought to cancel anyone
who's ever produced a show for TLC because

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those people are bored human trafficking and
human misery. Like those people are taking

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advantage the spare dealers of fucked up
people. It is. TLC is just

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the freak show channel, aren't you
go? You go those Everyone on TLC

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is the fucking elephant man. But
that's expected, right, It's like going

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to the circuit you complaining that,
oh there's a woman with a beard.

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You are You are a piece of
shit if you are pitching shows to TLC,

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if you have a show that got
on TLC, you are a piece

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of shit. That being there.
They have a show called two Fat to

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Transition, so they're taking advantage of
someone who is morbidly obese and transgender,

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like multiple situations, and your whole
thing is to just fucking gawk, just

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fucking gawk at that situation. That's
insane. There's that one that's immortal.

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There's that one, and that's the
thousand pounds sisters where they're both equal one

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thousand pounds. Yeah, and like, I've never felt more uncomfortable looking at

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the not even the show, the
cover of the show. What are you

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talking about? Though? These people
get Hot meals or American Express credit card

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for like three hundred fifty bucks for
the show. They get a Chili's two

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gift card they can only use at
the airport. Like truly insane. That

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no produce, Like no one's been
like, hey, that guy used to

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breathe the show for TLC. Fucked
that guy. That's actually it's always like,

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hey, that guy made a joke
about Mexicans on that podcast. That

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is actually the premise of one of
the characters in Nathan Fielder's new show The

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Curse. Ben Safti plays this like
former TLC show creator that like his whole

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thing was like it was called like
burn, something like the burn of love,

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And it's about It was about a
bunch of people trying to get this

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guy, like a bachelor situation.
But then it turns out he's wearing prosthetics

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and he's actually a terrible burn victim. That's incredible. It's just like totally

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ripping on TLS. The reason is
because they're in the perfect level of the

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entertainment industry where nobody knows who the
fuck they are are. Yeah, you

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can do that. You can exploit
and be horrible to human as long as

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your face, as long as you're
the wizard behind the curve, rob What

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do you think we do? Are
we better? No, we exploit the

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hell out of people that came before
us. Yes, we're gonna be doing

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that history. We're gonna do that
today a big time. Well our show

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specifically, Yeah, usually the weird. If you're notable, let me let

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me see this. You don't even
have to be notable for our show.

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If you're if you're dead and you've
been written about, you deserved it.

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You deserved it. If if something
happened to where I can find a story

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about you on the internet, you
deserved it. You're a stone for us

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to step on, that's right.
Let us use your skull to get to

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the peak. When a curbre decomposing
skull, you're a shitty step on our

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dumb everest all the way to the
top. Let's get into it all right.

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Oh, by the way, leave
a review on Apple that helps a

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lot too. We're trying to get
to it. We got a new review.

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You want me to read it?
No, we do. At the

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end of the show. I think
we should address it, okay, because

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it kind of is perfect for what
we just kind of addressed. I really

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love you guys leaving reviews, please
and thank you. But yeah, shout

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out to Peep the King Prawn who
left a review that said yikes. Oh

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yeah, they're salty, dann salty
about our negative review. No, I

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mean it's fair and balanced. It
just said yikes, two stars. No,

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the review is titled yikes. Oh
god, there says I got halfway

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through one episode, had to call
it quits. Fair enough, someone,

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thank you for at least giving us
an opportunity to earn your business. I

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found the host to be disrespectful of
women. Really. It seems that they

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were trying to be ironic about it, which can be great when it's done

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well. But they are definitely missing
the mark and it's just off put in.

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They're trying hard to be funny,
but that also missed the mark for

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me, Hey call it like you
see it, bro. I also dare

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not every single person on fucking earth
find me, Hilary. They are trying

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hard to be funny, but that
also missed the mark. I was actually

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interested in learning about the episode's topic, but the banter was not worth waiting.

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Okay, somebody's listening this episode right
now, I mean like notes track.

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Yeah, they haven't even talked about
the topic yet. Yeah, but

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I will say at least they at
least they understood that we were being ironic

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about the woman thing and not at
it. Yeah, we're just being bad

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at it. Suck. It's like
it's like I don't think they're really that

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big pieces of ship. They just
missed the mark. It's like, okay,

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thank you, I can handle that
note. Yeah, I'll I'll take

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it. Yeah. It's better than
being like some just chud being like they

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were rare. Well, now we
just got demonetized because you dropped the hard

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f well bleep it on YouTube.
I guess no hard oh, because I'm

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whatever. I didn't say it.
I mean I did, but I siftinely,

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you know. Okay, whatever,
anyway, leave a review. I

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guess not like that one unless you
feel that way. But anyway, let's

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debscribe on YouTube. Let's get into
this week's topic. We all know roughly,

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you know, we grew up with
the story of u saka Jaweya.

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So could you don't sack the jew
out of my second jew second juwead juias

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like a jueyasaka Joweya. I've always
heard of that juya. I don't care,

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I truly don't care. But yeah, the Shoshone lemmy Shoshone Indian who

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you know, helped Louis and Clark
explore the newly purchased Louisiana territory. We

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should make a shirt that's sack of
Juueya and it's her just jacked up on

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way way Way protein, Way Protein. I think for Easter, I want

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to do an Eastern shirt to Eastern
shirts, everything's cannon, nothing's cannon.

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Okay. I think it's good for
me. I think I might be the

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only person that buys the shirt.
Think about how much she paddled that canoe

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though. If she had way protein, Oh, she'd be so beast.

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Don't think she did it in paddling
do you know? Never mind, I'll

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tell you later off air, yeah, off air No. I was like,

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do you know how they know where
they went like the poop? Yeah,

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because they have like mercury or some
shit. Yeah, they're like lead

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or something. They kept finding their
poop everywhere, specifically Lewis and work Clark,

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but all the whole party, all
those three. Yeah, they all

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had some sort of like chemical in
their crap for whatever reason. I remember,

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we'll do an episode of some weird
shit they were eating. Yeah.

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So obviously she's an American hero.
And though I'm sure there's I am sure

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there is some level of like far
left weirdo. I hate the word woke,

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but woke. You know people who
are like, actually she's a trader

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to other Indians or blah blah blah
for helping white people, doesn't matter,

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that's not true. Saconduway is great, full stop. I did enjoy the

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gold dollar. Yes, it was
kind of fun to pretend like you were

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from one hundred years ago, just
flipping dollar. You're ramming down a gold

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coin. Yeah, it's fun to
pretend you were from the EU. They

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have dollar coins. Yeah, they
have one euro coins like I'll have a

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m chicken sandwich please, and be
like, oh sorry, you need another

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like seven cents tax, like just
take the gold. God, damn it,

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the fucking gold. But yeah,
so saca juwea great. Uh.

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But America turns out it's not the
only country in the New World with a

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saka joweya. Really. Yeah,
I'm sure there's plenty of natives that helped.

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Yeah, I'm sure along the way
I'm in Central and South America.

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I'm sure. You know what,
it must have been really hard when they

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were crossing across Panama. You really
need we really need to traverse it coast

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to coast to be Cortez had a
couple. Yeah, Cortez had one.

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That's who we're talking about. Oh, no way, good call Dan.

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The first thing that comes to my
mind is who could be the most evil

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piece of ship that Rob picks.
Uh. Yeah, I'm gonna go quartet

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Cortez. Yeah, yeah, safe
bet. This is the story of Lamani

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ish Uh La lynch sorry lam lynch
uh, the Indian woman who helped Cortes

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conquer Mexico. If you want to
throw out the tea where go ahead?

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For her trader. She might be. Well, we'll get into it,

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because there are some people who believe
that. I imagine she helped significantly.

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She might be more responsible than Cortez
himself. I don't know. In a

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lot of points that come later in
this, Cortet said. Cortet said she

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was the most responsible for his conquest
of Mexico behind only God. Wow,

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am just pointing to center field and
call my shot. You know the quote

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behind every great man, there's a
greater woman. It's actually about her?

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Yeah, yeah that. Cortes said
that. Was there a sexual relationship here?

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There sure was? Oh jeez,
he was bagging her. She actually

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gave birth to his own or his
firstborn son. Okay, so he was

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married, by the way, not
to her. He at least felt things

203
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:54,279
for her. What does feel in
this content? I think he did.

204
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:58,559
I think he did physically at least
right stuck stuck his peen in her.

205
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:03,639
Does that mean anything? Well,
he felt something unless it was just totally

206
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:09,320
numb down there all right? He
maybe it was means to end like did

207
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,799
he lusted? But did he love? Is the I think there might.

208
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,639
I think he might have felt enough. I think there was an attraction there

209
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,320
if I had to guess based on
I mean, they just went through a

210
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,679
lot too. I was about to
say, it's kind of like, what's

211
00:14:22,679 --> 00:14:26,399
the statistic. It's like, the
longer you work next to someone, like,

212
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:30,039
the more attractive they become. Right, They were working together in a

213
00:14:30,159 --> 00:14:33,919
us beautiful. Yeah, we've been
working together for essentially ten years now,

214
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:37,960
so it's been a long time.
It's gorgeous. They were working together in

215
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,840
a high stakes environment, so to
speak. Yeah, it's a god we

216
00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:45,399
gotta get this report done. Yeah, I mean it's you know, we

217
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:48,559
gotta get the We gotta conquer this
Aztec city or we're gonna die. Before

218
00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:54,200
we die, I have one thing
to say to you. I'm not gonna

219
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,399
I don't know. I don't know
Quart has this shot? So, uh

220
00:14:58,639 --> 00:15:01,440
did she light the boats on fire? She did not know. Lama Lynch

221
00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:07,240
was born sometime between fifteen hundred and
fifteen oh five to most likely a noble

222
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:13,080
family in a city state on the
Mexican Gulf shore in the eastern sort of

223
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,600
in the eastern Aztec Empire in the
it's in the current state of Vera Cruz

224
00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:24,000
in Mexico. The city state was
basically like a client state of the Aztecs,

225
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:28,360
a tributary. They basically owed protection
money to the Aztecs type of situation.

226
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:35,240
It's arguably inside of what you could
claim as at the Aztec imperial borders,

227
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,559
though the Aztecs kind of had from
what I could tell from the maps,

228
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:43,000
I looked up sort of a hardcore
inner circle of like this is az

229
00:15:43,039 --> 00:15:48,440
Tech country, and then a sort
of much larger circle of like we just

230
00:15:48,559 --> 00:15:50,960
run these these people pay us,
yeah, and we can come and do

231
00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:54,720
whatever we want in these areas.
They're the sun, and then like there's

232
00:15:54,759 --> 00:15:58,240
little planets. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, it's certainly in the fully in

233
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their sphere of right, they can
do whatever they want to these people.

234
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:07,320
I think more or less a lot
of sources called her an Aztec noble woman,

235
00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,679
but I don't think that's true from
everything I read, I think she

236
00:16:10,919 --> 00:16:15,080
was not as tech at all.
Obviously she was native, but she was

237
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,879
not as tech. I think she
was. Her ethnicity or identity or whatever

238
00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:22,120
you want to call it was probably
tied up initially in that city state she

239
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,159
was born in. It's like waiting
it out, just like one day we'll

240
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,879
get our shit. This god man
will come off a boat. Yeah,

241
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,320
one day this angel Cortes who was
so angelic. Well, I'm not sure

242
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:37,200
she liked anybody. It's good she
was out for number one. That's fine.

243
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:41,039
Yeah, because her cozy upbringing as
a noble woman did not last long.

244
00:16:41,519 --> 00:16:45,399
Sometime between the age of eight and
twelve, she was kidnapped and sold

245
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:51,919
into slavery as the Aztecs did.
This was not the Astecs. Potentially,

246
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,320
I don't know who kidnapped her,
but we do know where she ended up.

247
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,799
As everyone did Jake, as everyone
put it out there, everyone had

248
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:03,039
slaves, not everyone. Everyone.
Everyone has slaves, Aboriginal slaves, slaves,

249
00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:10,920
slaves. The craziest part about the
Trail Tears not only did they force

250
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,480
the Natives to go to Oklahoma,
they also had their slaves go with them.

251
00:17:15,799 --> 00:17:19,440
The Native slaves. Yeah, like, oh no, that's there.

252
00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:22,119
There is a funny like it's not
really a thing, what you can get

253
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:29,200
it like if you really dig deep
into sort of like the dialogue between Native

254
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:33,359
Americans and African Americans, like these
are like deep history dialogues, but like

255
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,279
African Americans are like fuck you,
you own slaves too, and Native Americans

256
00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:41,000
like fuck you, you were kind
of colonizers too. You showed up the

257
00:17:41,079 --> 00:17:44,000
ones, the ones that you that
were free, started owning property. You're

258
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,240
not from here. You displaced us. Yeah, everyone's displaced everybody. Yeah,

259
00:17:48,279 --> 00:17:52,200
it's not a big it's not a
big argument because they've both got a

260
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:59,359
bigger whiter fish to fry. You're
a colonizer. Most likely, no one's

261
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:03,000
supposed to be here, human beings. We're nowhere near here. I like

262
00:18:03,079 --> 00:18:06,480
the thought that, you know what, it's actually just the evil was here

263
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:10,279
and we everyone found it. Like
the Native Americans are like, huh,

264
00:18:10,319 --> 00:18:12,119
we can kill each other. Let's
fucking warm, fucking go. Yeah,

265
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,799
and then more people show up,
and just the game is here. This

266
00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:18,880
is where the game lives, and
you find it. So some people say

267
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:26,559
there was a tradition traditionally where but
a lot of times when a parent died,

268
00:18:26,759 --> 00:18:30,920
a kid or kids would be sold
into slavery, specifically a father died.

269
00:18:30,279 --> 00:18:34,000
This tradition essentially to like pay off
debts or to just like get some

270
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:38,519
money. That's like life insurance is
actually just too is a child that you

271
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:42,640
sell to slavery when right caskets aren't
cheap, that's insane. That was the

272
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:48,680
policy for a while people did it. It's so good. Now they're not

273
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,119
sure that happened, though. Some
people did say her mom sold her after

274
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,119
her dad died and they had to
go to like a Native American morgue,

275
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,759
fucking bone in them left and right, like, well you gotta cover you

276
00:18:56,759 --> 00:19:00,759
know, this smoke and this powder
that's not cheap. Yeah, you're gonna

277
00:19:00,799 --> 00:19:03,559
need what are you looking at here? I mean the the cheapest feathers we

278
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:10,960
have U for you know, the
incense uh spreading is uh, you know

279
00:19:11,039 --> 00:19:14,119
it's five gold pieces. I don't
know what they their fucking money is.

280
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,640
I'm just saying now, like banks
just kind of give up if you don't

281
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,519
pay him long enough. Like back
then, they're like, all right,

282
00:19:18,519 --> 00:19:22,400
you're a slave. Now it's better
now, it's better now. So yeah,

283
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:26,400
some people say her mom sold her
to help pay things off. Uh,

284
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,279
and then they all say she threw
a sham funeral, okay, just

285
00:19:30,279 --> 00:19:37,240
to like cover up that she sold
the daughter. How do you orchestrate that?

286
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,599
I don't know. It's probably not
easy to I guess, yeah,

287
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,839
I guess it could be easy,
probably super easy. I swear there's a

288
00:19:44,839 --> 00:19:48,640
guy in there. You don't even
close basket. I swear there's a girl

289
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,559
in there closed canoe. I don't
know, but yeah, so she was.

290
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,079
I think it's more likely she was
kidnapped. You know, some rate

291
00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,200
she was out doing something, raiders
came snatched her. She never came home.

292
00:20:00,519 --> 00:20:06,160
And you know you're referred to as
a raider, sick bandit raider.

293
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:10,559
Yeah, I'm not big on bandit. I'd prefer raider raider. Like if

294
00:20:10,599 --> 00:20:12,839
the thunderdome happens, society collapses,
I want to be referred to as a

295
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:18,759
raider. I'm a Ridley Green Raider. Is that your high school masks?

296
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:23,480
My high school mascot that was a
Rattler? Why you're in Florida. We

297
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:27,400
were the only team in the state
of Florida with that mascot. Are there

298
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:33,960
rattlesnakes? Ask? Famio Fami was
also the Rattlers? Okay, but are

299
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,880
there rattlesnakes? We have Rattlesnakes?
Yeah, okay. Our mascot was a

300
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:41,240
Native so I don't really know the
the Ridley history of Native Americans. I

301
00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:45,839
bet there were. I bet you
guys had a one point in I guess

302
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,839
you. I bet you guys had
an insane mascot at one time that was

303
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:55,160
just so bad. You know,
I block it out like most it's just

304
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,839
like it's just like a fucking guy
with the most feathers holding a hatchet,

305
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:03,079
running bloodshot eyes. We do the
Florida State thing guy rat rides out on

306
00:21:03,079 --> 00:21:07,039
a horse. Yeah, but it's
just not respectful. That's actually how Smarty

307
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:11,839
Jones broke his leg came out in
our field. You're looking for it.

308
00:21:12,079 --> 00:21:17,319
I mean I found like the mascot
mascot, but I like the drawing up

309
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,480
that's actually sick. It's like an
Indian in the cupboard. But I don't

310
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:23,240
see like a guy dressed up as
one. Unfortunately. No. I was

311
00:21:23,799 --> 00:21:30,400
just hoping they have like a life
sized Cleveland Indian running around. No,

312
00:21:30,519 --> 00:21:33,519
we don't have Chief Wahoo. Unfortunate, yours was more of a Washington Redskins

313
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:38,839
type of mascot, which whatever,
or like the Ilini Chief of Linowick mascot.

314
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,839
That's a sick one. So good
then one is awesome. Pole of

315
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:47,759
Delkore. Gonna love this content.
Yeah oh yeah. Anyway, h So,

316
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:52,200
whether or not she was sold or
stolen, she would definitely ended up

317
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:59,279
a slave. So she was eventually
taken to a major port city near the

318
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:04,920
Yucatan and sold to some uh chantal
mayans somes. That's a long way to

319
00:22:06,039 --> 00:22:10,440
go from Vera Cruz to the Yucatan. Yeah, that's what was on foot.

320
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,920
Yeah, it's long, it's a
track. Was he gonna do a

321
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,359
lot of people that had nothing else? Did do? You never went that

322
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,920
far on foot. I would get
bored, I think, I because you

323
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,880
have raider blood. That's right,
you gotta gotta go. See. It's

324
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,119
like when we watched what the fuck
what Apocalypto? You're one of those guys

325
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,480
that raided the village? Yeah,
to steal people for the sacrifice most likely?

326
00:22:34,599 --> 00:22:38,480
Yeah, north mean same thing,
same de Yeah, all the same.

327
00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:44,160
So she was taken to this port
city and sold to mayans. Uh.

328
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,880
It wasn't long though, before the
Spanish would show up and ruin this

329
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:53,599
harmonious utopian paradise. Yeah, everything
was great until the Spaniards got there.

330
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,839
Is that I can shine in rainbows. The idea that anything wasn't ship wall

331
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,480
to wall before anyone else showed up, It's unbelievable. Yeah. Look,

332
00:23:03,519 --> 00:23:07,839
it's not like the Spanish made it
better. I'm not saying that it wasn't

333
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,000
good. It was probably a nightmare
with the animals that you had to kind

334
00:23:12,039 --> 00:23:17,559
of fend off and the other tribes. But surely it was like cleaner,

335
00:23:18,279 --> 00:23:23,559
right not to clan had a really
good source system from what I recall.

336
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,079
Actually, yeah, they had an
amazing floating city system. I think.

337
00:23:27,279 --> 00:23:30,000
Yeah, it was like like a
kind of half venice, half row.

338
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:37,000
Like the entire North American and South
American continents were kind of like going to

339
00:23:37,039 --> 00:23:41,599
a national park, but it was
the entire region maybe. I mean,

340
00:23:41,799 --> 00:23:44,519
they had a lot of good stuff. You know what, they didn't have

341
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,359
boomsticks, electricity, the bullet things. We didn't have that. No one

342
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:55,359
had air conditioning, no one had
the best I'm going to actually counter that.

343
00:23:56,319 --> 00:24:00,440
I think there would be more spaces
like a national park than but I

344
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,440
can't explain to you how much just
boring flatness there probably would be too,

345
00:24:04,559 --> 00:24:08,359
oh for sure, like just mangres
with a buffalo room. Yeah, mangroves

346
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:12,319
and grasslands like that's what I think
of. I bet they had some gnarly

347
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,880
tornadoes, oh my god, absolutely
nothing in the way, nothing to stop.

348
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,279
Can you imagine just that strip from
Kansas City to Dallas. But these

349
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:22,440
jungles had to be awful because gross, there's like no paths, you have

350
00:24:22,519 --> 00:24:26,200
to cut through all these but they
did. He did. That's the fucked

351
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,720
up thing is that they did well. They probably used to like game trails

352
00:24:29,759 --> 00:24:33,160
too for that, Like, no
they cut straight roads they're finding like using

353
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,200
light iron shit, they're finding like
whole ass roads and ship in mine jungle.

354
00:24:36,319 --> 00:24:38,559
The problem is if a city goes
out, if a city goes away

355
00:24:38,759 --> 00:24:42,000
in the jungle, the jungle eats
it in like a year and you never

356
00:24:42,039 --> 00:24:45,680
see it again. Yeaheah. That's
there's probably so much we still don't know

357
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,319
about the Amazon. They're finding a
lot of it. The light ar is

358
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:52,599
helping a lot because it really shows
like basically straight line pass you're getting stuck

359
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,480
in like quicksand that's one place.
Yeah, if there is somewhere that has

360
00:24:57,519 --> 00:25:04,319
it, it's the Amazon rainforw So
a couple more notes on her growing up

361
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:08,200
so far on Lamanlinch. Growing up
so far, she grew up as nobility,

362
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:12,519
which means she learned both the courtly
language of the region as well as

363
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:18,039
obviously she had to know the common
ethnic language in the in the area.

364
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:22,039
She's got a code switch as we
Yeah, once she was sold to the

365
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:26,839
Mayans, she learned two different dialects
of Mayan language as well, so she's

366
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:32,400
smart. Four languages she got in
the can before she even meets Cortes.

367
00:25:32,519 --> 00:25:37,720
It's impressive. So Cortes lands in
Mexico, faces off pretty early in his

368
00:25:37,799 --> 00:25:45,839
expedition against some Mayans. There's a
battle at Pontichan, the capital city of

369
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:52,720
the Kingdom of Tabasco. WHOA,
that's cool. What's a battle like that

370
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:59,640
with the Mayan civilization? Like hard? I imagine? Is in an open

371
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,200
field field? Is it? Yes? Like guerrilla warfare. This battle was

372
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,200
more or less in an open field. So in March fifteenth I think fifteenth,

373
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,400
fifteen nineteen, Cortez fights the Battle
of Centla. They're not just like

374
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,480
sniping you from their pyramids. No
wait, it's in an open field.

375
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:21,200
Easy, easy fight then for Spain. So they outnumber the Spanish as always,

376
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,960
like four to one. I think
at one point I think one Spanish

377
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,440
soldier said, for every one of
us, there's three hundred of them.

378
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,920
Yeah, only so many people you
can fit on a boat. No wonder

379
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,480
they were killing two million people a
year, right, that was the number

380
00:26:33,799 --> 00:26:37,279
too. Many people to day,
there's two hundred and fifty thousand people here.

381
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,519
Yeah, sacrificed. They wanted to
make it a fair fight. Yeah

382
00:26:41,759 --> 00:26:45,720
fair, So can you fight to
battle with the Kingdom of Tabasco. Despite

383
00:26:45,759 --> 00:26:48,319
being of course massly a number of
the Spanish kicked the shit out of the

384
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:52,599
mines thanks to their better weapon tech
and one even more important reason. The

385
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:57,799
Indians thought the Spanish had centaurs.
Fuck yeah, dude, riding on the

386
00:26:57,799 --> 00:27:03,200
horses. They thought that the cavalry, that the person and horse were the

387
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:08,359
same beast. Oh god, that
does blow my mind. Not necessarily in

388
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,720
South America, but like the command
chees and everything didn't have horses before we

389
00:27:11,759 --> 00:27:15,680
got here. No one in the
crazy to think I thought I would have

390
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:21,640
thought America. Actually, horses did
exist here at the same time as natives,

391
00:27:22,079 --> 00:27:26,759
but they died out or migrated back
up. They were cross slightly different.

392
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,000
Yeah, they were a different kind
of horse, and I don't think

393
00:27:30,079 --> 00:27:34,200
they ever domesticated them. There's yeah, the history forces coming soon. But

394
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:37,759
that blows my mind. Yeah.
I don't know why it shouldn't surprise me,

395
00:27:37,839 --> 00:27:41,480
but it does every time. It
also cracks me up that like whenever

396
00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:44,079
you read about it. It's like
people, we were riding horses for a

397
00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:45,759
while and then someone's like, you
know, what would be nice, like

398
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:49,359
a place to put your feet stirrups
when disturbing. It was so late in

399
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:53,400
the game, it was. It's
astonishing when stirrups come about. You're like,

400
00:27:53,759 --> 00:27:59,000
what stups are for? Bitches?
It's the best thing. It's like

401
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:04,279
using the pad when he's squat.
The three hundred CE was the earliest known

402
00:28:04,279 --> 00:28:08,160
pair of stirrups in China. Some
some data back to the second century beat

403
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:14,400
Chinese are the first ones on everything, but I guess the eight hundreds is

404
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:17,599
by the time. So, but
like the Romans and stuff were riding,

405
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:22,480
no stirrups anything like that. What
a miserable any fucking great cavalry unit in

406
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:30,759
ancient times. Nothing. That's probably
why the Egyptians preferred chariots to regular horse

407
00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:37,480
cavalry or whatever. Yeah, do
they credit that like eight hundred to one

408
00:28:37,519 --> 00:28:41,640
of the Ottoman No, maybe not
Ottoman, one of the caliphates, though

409
00:28:41,839 --> 00:28:49,960
I imagine it's super Arabian Peninsula invention
stirrups. That's Asia Asia. I guarantee

410
00:28:51,079 --> 00:28:55,359
somebody came up with it in like
medieval Europe, and they got laughed at,

411
00:28:55,599 --> 00:29:00,359
like, what are you soft?
Bit saw? You can your feet

412
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,680
dangle up the roof. I'll tell
you what, I hate having my feet

413
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,599
dangled anywhere. It's the worst feeling. It's probably I mean, look,

414
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:08,440
I'm sure the first person to wear
a seatbelt got laughed at too. Sure

415
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,519
you feel like a little kid at
Thanksgiving table if you're at a hot top

416
00:29:11,559 --> 00:29:15,759
that doesn't have a crossbar. Oh, it's awful, You're just what do

417
00:29:15,799 --> 00:29:21,319
I do? This makes me feel
youthful? That that's exactly how I feel,

418
00:29:21,319 --> 00:29:22,359
which I don't like. I feel
like a child. I feel like

419
00:29:22,359 --> 00:29:26,160
a kid in a big chair.
You know. Sometimes I like that.

420
00:29:26,359 --> 00:29:33,640
Okay, so obviously the Spanish one, they're horse centaur. People really scared

421
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:37,480
the shit out of them. The
next day, the Mayans, as was

422
00:29:37,599 --> 00:29:41,400
tradition in the region or for their
culture or whatever, brought the Spanish gifts

423
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,680
for winning the battle. Hey guy, it's a good game. They got.

424
00:29:45,799 --> 00:29:47,640
Yeah, They're like, hey,
you did it, and we owe

425
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,920
you stuff. Now they do like
a jersey swap. It's a one way

426
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,559
swap. It's like you've won our
jersey. Cortezen the homies. Didn't give

427
00:29:53,599 --> 00:29:59,319
them some armor. Yeah, just
weighs them down incredibly. They can't hold

428
00:29:59,359 --> 00:30:02,799
it, so it is broken.
Give it to him. They got gold,

429
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:07,920
jewelry, animal skins and animals from
the region, feathers of precious birds,

430
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:19,319
and also twenty female slaves word Lama
Lynch. Mm okay, this is

431
00:30:19,319 --> 00:30:22,880
the origin story. Yeah, and
so the Spanish were like, oh cool,

432
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,920
you guys do slaves too, sick
awesome, awesome, it's crazy that

433
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:32,000
made it over here. Yeah,
like the women. The Spanish happily accepted

434
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,440
the women, baptized them, and
then handed them out to to be servants

435
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,680
and sex slaves. Yeah, of
course they can't be dirty. Washed them

436
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,720
with the lord. Oh hey,
yeah, you're gonna rape a Christian buddy.

437
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:48,880
No pagans here, yeah. Ma
Lynch was initially given to one of

438
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:56,279
cortez As captains, but once her
language skills were discovered when the Spanish they

439
00:30:56,279 --> 00:31:00,039
were discovered when the Spanish were first
interacting with some of the first emissaries from

440
00:31:00,039 --> 00:31:06,319
Montezuma that they encountered, Cortes took
her from the captain and was like,

441
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,960
you speak all these language. So
they had an interpreter who spoke like one

442
00:31:11,039 --> 00:31:15,119
native language and Spanish la mala.
She didn't speak any Spanish at first,

443
00:31:15,119 --> 00:31:17,559
but she spoke obviously, like I
said, four or five native languages.

444
00:31:17,839 --> 00:31:23,039
So but and she spoke the language
that their interpreter spoke. Got it so

445
00:31:23,079 --> 00:31:26,279
she could talk to them, then
talk to the interpreter. Then the interpreter

446
00:31:26,279 --> 00:31:30,559
would give it to Spanish and cortet
to Cortes put back down the telephone line.

447
00:31:32,519 --> 00:31:33,359
I'm sure Cortez saw that in media. I was like, let's just

448
00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:37,359
get rid of this interpreter. Uh, well, she didn't know Spanish yet,

449
00:31:37,359 --> 00:31:41,519
oh yes. So anyway, he
promised her more quote more than liberty

450
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:44,400
if she helped. So he's like, you're gonna get all this stuff,

451
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:49,559
including my penis, if if you
help us out here. But don't worry.

452
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,640
Cortez's captain did get a different slave
girl. He didn't. He wasn't

453
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,960
just out in the cold with no
slave girl. They're not swapping either.

454
00:31:59,119 --> 00:32:00,200
What you can't be sharing your slave
girl? No, no, no,

455
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:05,160
no, no no no. So
he got another one just in case anyone

456
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:07,519
was worried about him getting screwed over. I was like, really, what

457
00:32:07,559 --> 00:32:10,119
about that one guy? Yeah?
Hey, hold on, that's not fair.

458
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:15,440
Yeah, he did just as much. He's a brave captain and he

459
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:20,799
was one of Cortes's boys too,
like this guy in particularly. I forget

460
00:32:20,799 --> 00:32:23,680
what the connection was, but they
were close. Uh. So Malinch helped

461
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:28,480
bridge the language chain between Spain's interpreter
and the natives. Uh. The chain

462
00:32:28,519 --> 00:32:32,880
actually got insane at one point where
like even she didn't know a language,

463
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:38,079
so at one point something had to
be translated into Mayan, then Nahuato,

464
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:45,160
which is kind of her native language, then Totanak before reaching the locals who

465
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,160
spoke to Tanak, whose answer then
had to go back through that same chain

466
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,480
all the way up to span and
then Spanish is in there too, So

467
00:32:50,519 --> 00:32:52,640
it's like a four language chains.
It's a bad game. A whisper down

468
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,119
the lane I was about to say, yeah, telephone must have sucked with

469
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,440
orders on that. It's like,
you can't be right, It's like ten

470
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:02,559
minutes for a fucking sentence. Yeah, it's uh, it's a lot.

471
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:07,680
And actually that that game of telephone
comes into play. I'm sure. Thus

472
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:14,440
that sounds like a leg of fucking
namemare. So the Teutonac where the first

473
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:19,519
people Cortes met h who told him
like, so he had heard of Montezuma,

474
00:33:19,599 --> 00:33:21,799
and the Aztecs are ready. To
an extent, they were the regional

475
00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:25,079
hegemon, and so it was like
everyone kind of knew who they were.

476
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:30,359
So the Teutonic, though, were
the first ones who were like, hey,

477
00:33:30,559 --> 00:33:31,599
you know, everyone's like, oh, we're with the Aztecs. It's

478
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:39,319
like that we fucking hate them.
We fucking hate them. And Cortez was

479
00:33:39,359 --> 00:33:45,680
like, oh, word, that's
pretty interesting. Do tell yeah, And

480
00:33:45,839 --> 00:33:50,799
soon they formed an alliance and started
marching toward the Aztec capital of to Noc.

481
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,400
To Clan Need Bodies, Need Bodies. Now it was a combined force

482
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:59,960
of Spanish and Tautonic soldiers. Before
they got to to not to Clan,

483
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:04,400
though, they're like the Special Teams
members, the dude, sometimes you just

484
00:34:04,519 --> 00:34:07,759
yeah, you need numbers. Special
teams is important. You need a gunner.

485
00:34:07,159 --> 00:34:09,480
Yeah, you need someone that's gonna
rush that punk as the forty nine

486
00:34:09,519 --> 00:34:14,280
ers man, Special Teams loses you
championships, a third aspect of the game.

487
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:19,679
People forget. So before they got
to the Aztec capital, they stopped

488
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:24,440
in tlax Kala. Initially these people
were hostile to the Spanish, but Lama

489
00:34:24,519 --> 00:34:30,400
Lynch was able to help negotiate not
only a peace, but an alliance.

490
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:35,159
The Tlex Collins. When you look
at a map of the Aztec Empire in

491
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:38,320
fifteen twenty, when Cortez was there, whatever, it's this whole big swath

492
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:43,559
and then there's one part in the
middle that is not part of the empire

493
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:49,880
or a tributary state, and that
is plex Kala, completely surrounded by the

494
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,920
Empire. Okay, not a part
of the empire, not paying tribute to

495
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:58,960
the empire. How they swing the
city of the Aztecs. They've just somehow

496
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,079
held out. But it wouldn't be
like that because like, Italy's not invading,

497
00:35:01,119 --> 00:35:04,159
but Italy invades the fun out of
them. That's why I have the

498
00:35:04,159 --> 00:35:06,760
Swiss Guards. Oh, I guess
that's true. They set up pikes,

499
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,159
yeah, the border. Yeah,
when it was a kingdom, dum,

500
00:35:10,639 --> 00:35:15,320
a bunch of different kingdoms and like
stuff. Yeah, yeah, sure,

501
00:35:15,639 --> 00:35:19,000
when it wasn't like there was no
Vatican City was established before there was.

502
00:35:19,199 --> 00:35:22,639
It would actually be hilarious if Italy
invaded the Vatican. That would be funny.

503
00:35:22,679 --> 00:35:28,480
It'd be funny they lost, right. I think they would do the

504
00:35:28,519 --> 00:35:30,760
Swiss guards better than you think I
mean, they're not gonna do anything.

505
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:37,079
But also, God can just and
that's the ultimate fucking card to play.

506
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:42,159
Just comes out with his lightning hands
just just like not even like lightning hands,

507
00:35:42,199 --> 00:35:45,119
just like a thumb squishing an ant
like just it's like a mighty Python

508
00:35:45,159 --> 00:35:51,000
cartoon. Yes, exactly, like
a foot Yeah, like no, flicks

509
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,320
away your tank. That'd be awesome. Can you imagine being in a tank

510
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,400
that gets flicked by God? Imagine
how far it goes. It would release

511
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,079
them from underneath the Vatican. He's
all chained up like magnates. So that's

512
00:36:01,119 --> 00:36:07,079
basically actually the end of thor Ragnarok, Like the Italian army shows up and

513
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,599
it says to you know, the
Pope, like you can't defeat me,

514
00:36:08,639 --> 00:36:12,400
and he's like, I know,
but he can't come. And then yeah,

515
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,840
the God pops out. Did that
really happen? Yes, Jake doesn't

516
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:20,960
watch Marvel movies, but though he's
too cool. I know it is a

517
00:36:21,039 --> 00:36:24,599
meme and everyone should get that reference. I don't meme alone, everyone should

518
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:28,840
get that reference. I don't believe
in the Internet. I kind of know

519
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:32,199
you don't. At this point.
It's why our numbers are down, really,

520
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:36,159
is it? Yeah, I blame
you. It's your fault. Yeah,

521
00:36:36,159 --> 00:36:38,199
I'm the big personality of the three
of us here. Yeah, that's

522
00:36:38,199 --> 00:36:42,360
what you brought me on for.
You're the ringer. Yeah, God,

523
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,679
Jake will at least get his numbers. So the Spanish, after they're making

524
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:52,679
an alliance with the Tlex Collins,
we're given food and more chicks the way

525
00:36:53,199 --> 00:36:55,679
it kind of had to rule to
be a Spanish soldier on this trip,

526
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,320
right, oh yeah, especially if
you think you're ordained by God to get

527
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,119
these women. You're like, there, I don't feel nothing bad, right

528
00:37:01,199 --> 00:37:05,360
yeah, Like I mean, look, they're doing they're not doing anything different

529
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,519
than any conquering army through history at
this point in time. Oh yeah,

530
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:12,000
and after that point in time for
a larger to a large extent. But

531
00:37:12,039 --> 00:37:14,840
I think there was like one nice
soldier that we try to court his slave,

532
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:20,320
probably yeah, probably probably someone like
so devout that they're just like,

533
00:37:21,519 --> 00:37:23,960
yeah, we must pray and that
and you will respect me, but I

534
00:37:24,039 --> 00:37:28,639
must earned that respect some weird shit
like that. And everyone's like God,

535
00:37:28,679 --> 00:37:35,880
Wan sucks. We get at your
soldier of Christ like man just like not

536
00:37:36,039 --> 00:37:38,079
into it. They're like Wan,
not today, God damn it just I'm

537
00:37:38,079 --> 00:37:42,960
trying to have fun when clocks Kala. Yeah, he's just running around like

538
00:37:43,039 --> 00:37:47,480
a dimn what is it really,
Scott movie. That's That's what the last

539
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:51,960
Batchel party I was at in Tuloom
when that one guy was like, we're

540
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:58,360
married, we shouldn't have suck with
prostitute of like we're in Toulom. Do

541
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,800
you remember because you were, Oh, you already have sex with that process.

542
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,840
J I've actually never been to Tulum. Oh yeah, I forgot.

543
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,039
I've never been to Tulum. It's
on his bucket list that we wants to

544
00:38:08,079 --> 00:38:13,000
go to the jungle gym. Jungle
Gym, the Tuloom Jungle is there.

545
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,280
It wouldn't surprise me. If there's
a j it's a it's an influencer,

546
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:19,800
Jim. Is there a CrossFit box
in the jungle. It's just on the

547
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,199
beach. If you're in Tulum,
you have to go to all the weights

548
00:38:22,199 --> 00:38:25,400
are made out of like the tree
and I hate all that. Tuloum has

549
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:30,440
like one spot that I every bachelorette
party story I've ever seen has like this

550
00:38:30,559 --> 00:38:34,159
checkerboard pool where it's like tan and
white and like everyone goes to the same

551
00:38:34,159 --> 00:38:37,599
fucking hotel back to Jake fucking that
prostitute and tuloom m. Yeah. So

552
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:42,320
glad my family and my wife's family
and stuff like that listens to this.

553
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,800
Thanks guys. Yeah, you weren't
there when Gary was like, come on,

554
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:49,280
we're married. No, was like
Jake didn't even here anymore. You

555
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:55,400
guys suck. I've never had sex
with a prostitute. Got to clear that

556
00:38:55,519 --> 00:38:58,920
up. I just really have to
do it because like, just in case

557
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,400
anyone's listening. I don't know who, but not even like I know Katie's

558
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,960
like they're being assholes, but like
there's someone that inter of you. It's

559
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,119
like this is Katie's bob. I
know they were trying to be ironic with

560
00:39:08,159 --> 00:39:15,239
their prostitute talk, but didn't nail
it. They didn't the market, the

561
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:20,480
plane crashed. This is the only
thing Dan's gonna clip to for so it

562
00:39:20,519 --> 00:39:22,039
doesn't matter what I clip. We
don't boast it an that's right, it's

563
00:39:22,079 --> 00:39:30,599
for us. It's really just video. So uh. A couple of days,

564
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,320
Cortes left Plexicla to continue on to
the Aztec capital. Now with his

565
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:42,320
force Teutonic Allied soldiers and soldiers from
Plaxicala. So he picked up another army.

566
00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:49,360
He's now got two Satonic army,
the Tautonic. I thought it was

567
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,960
just like grab people coming from the
tectonic plates. That's like the whole people

568
00:39:52,320 --> 00:40:00,159
Fantastic four guy the thing or yeah
played by cousin in the latest iteration Eban

569
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:06,599
mock whatever Quincy John Quincy, Uh
yeah, only referred to miss Quincy.

570
00:40:06,639 --> 00:40:08,840
Now, okay, so anyway,
now he has an he has two two

571
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:13,719
city states where the soldiers on top
of his own. Now, why did

572
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,960
the tux College join the Spanish?
You might wonder. Uh, Like I

573
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:21,199
said, they were not actually under
Aztec rule, but they still hated them

574
00:40:21,559 --> 00:40:24,639
because they were in a perpetual state
of war with the Aztecs. Yeah,

575
00:40:24,679 --> 00:40:29,119
this, but it was not the
type of war you think. Oh,

576
00:40:29,159 --> 00:40:31,159
and I'm not going to get into
it too deep because I actually want to

577
00:40:31,159 --> 00:40:37,920
do a whole episode on these as
well. It's it's too interesting to even

578
00:40:37,079 --> 00:40:39,800
like it was just real Schambeau.
They kicked them in the nuts, then

579
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:44,239
they returned fire with kicking the other
kind of nuts. Honestly, not not

580
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,440
terribly far off. It's called the
Flower Wars or the Garland Wars, and

581
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:52,639
it was essentially like if you combined
college football and ancient warfare. Okay,

582
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:58,519
it was like half sport half war. You sent thirty people died. Yes,

583
00:40:58,599 --> 00:41:00,920
it was like it was just champion
for sha. It was even numbers

584
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,719
on both sides and stuff like that. And the aspects. Man, they

585
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:07,800
were the Alabama this shit and the
tlex columns fucking hated them. I would

586
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:08,960
be down for that. Why don't
we do that? More? Like wars

587
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:15,159
shouldn't be dragged over years. It
should be you said, you send your

588
00:41:15,159 --> 00:41:16,920
guys, We'll send our guys,
meet on a field, send your best

589
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:22,400
thirty, yeah, thirty on thirty. Why would any country with a lot

590
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,360
of people do agree that. It's
like, no, We'll just continue to

591
00:41:24,519 --> 00:41:28,440
send people, yeah, until you
give up. Because I believe in America,

592
00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:30,800
Rob Loot, in America, they
just kept sending people. I have

593
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,239
the best, we have the best
athletes and fighters in the world. Let's

594
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:38,360
go. We're not losing Dagistan.
Fuck. Then I kind of like the

595
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:43,039
strategy. We're not losing to Dagistan
now with what we currently have. I

596
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,360
like the current strategy of just completely
overwhelmed them with money and people. Yeah.

597
00:41:46,519 --> 00:41:51,280
Yeah, And I'm not trying to
and culture. Yeah, I mean,

598
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:53,360
how sick would it be the one
year like Panama just randomly wins the

599
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,559
world run the world. Oh,
just every year we have a world war.

600
00:41:57,599 --> 00:42:00,440
We have a world war with every
country and then just they gets to

601
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:05,000
make whoever wins gets to make it
get or like the UN. You just

602
00:42:05,159 --> 00:42:08,239
one world government and hey man,
you know what, Paraguay, good job

603
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:13,280
you did it. Yeah you're in
charge. So anyway, this shit got

604
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,280
really bitter between flex Kala and the
Aztecs, who, like I said,

605
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:20,519
they were like the Bama of the
Flower Wars and the Twox Columns were just

606
00:42:20,559 --> 00:42:22,639
fucking sick of it. They wanted
the Aztecs to get their come upance.

607
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:29,039
But before they could get to to
knakach Klan, there was one other stop

608
00:42:29,039 --> 00:42:32,159
on the way, city of We're
just it's like very hot sauce themed march

609
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:37,559
to the Aztec capital, Chilula.
You gotta imagine the people from these kingdoms

610
00:42:37,599 --> 00:42:39,760
would see the sauces now and be
like, just watch white people cry from

611
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:46,280
them. The Kingdom of Franks Frank's
Yeah, yeah, Frank's red hot put

612
00:42:46,280 --> 00:42:51,639
that shit on everything. Yeah,
there's the Saracha Kingdom as well. There's

613
00:42:51,639 --> 00:42:54,039
a small Asian polity on the western
side of Mexico. So it's a little,

614
00:42:54,199 --> 00:42:58,639
uh just enclave. Yeah, from
Thailand. I mean, I do

615
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:04,000
like that story when we talked about
people showing up to the Americas, like,

616
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:07,840
we're pretty sure some Incans are near
the Incan Empire. Some Polynesians landed

617
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,320
and they were like, those guys
were perverts, they'll fuck anything, and

618
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:15,039
we had to kill them. Do
you remember that the Polynesian said that about

619
00:43:15,039 --> 00:43:15,960
the Incos. No, the Incans
said that about the Polynesians. They're like,

620
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:21,239
they were huge, they were perverts
and we had to kill them.

621
00:43:22,079 --> 00:43:24,119
I don't remember. Oh my god, it was. That's like the funniest

622
00:43:24,159 --> 00:43:29,400
thing I've ever read about people arriving
in the Americas. They literally like these

623
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,599
people, it was like definitely Polynesians
because they're like, they're humongous. They

624
00:43:31,599 --> 00:43:37,039
came on these big canoe boats.
They were like and they just wanted to

625
00:43:37,119 --> 00:43:40,280
fuck everything. They sound like you
get hang do they I don't know,

626
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:46,480
someone busts into your house. I
don't think, so it's more of it.

627
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:50,039
And they're like they're like way bigger
than you. This is an old

628
00:43:50,079 --> 00:43:53,840
Christmas celebration. They were just imagine
that a canoe crashes through the wall your

629
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:59,079
house. You come downstairs, there's
an eight foot man fucking wheeler the domos

630
00:44:00,119 --> 00:44:04,360
and training my dogs. Yeah yeah, I would slowly go back upstairs and

631
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,559
be like sorry, Bud, sorry, man. It's like hands up and

632
00:44:07,559 --> 00:44:14,320
he creep slowly. It's like you're
you're essentially the person version of the megazor.

633
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,320
Did the police come? An hour
later? They find two giants stabbed

634
00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:19,760
to death? Like what happened?
Like, dude, I had to kill

635
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:24,000
them. They knew just fucking popped
in. They started fucking the dog and

636
00:44:24,039 --> 00:44:28,599
the couch and everything. I had
to the couple of yeah, right,

637
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,559
fine. So the people at Chilua
they hosted the Spanish and their allied armies

638
00:44:32,599 --> 00:44:37,960
for several days, but then,
according to the Conquisadors, they stopped and

639
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:43,760
apparently the people of Chilula were setting
them up for an Aztec ambush, but

640
00:44:43,840 --> 00:44:51,559
the Spanish found out and took their
vengeance via a preemptive strike. Wait a

641
00:44:51,599 --> 00:44:57,440
minute, can we confirm that they
were being set up? It's coming rat

642
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:00,840
force? Is that what that sounds
like? It's like we're a preemptive strike

643
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:02,599
to their preemptive strath like we found
they found out they betrayed them, and

644
00:45:02,639 --> 00:45:07,360
so they were like, we're gonna
attack you before you can attack us.

645
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:12,039
Do you think that really is where
they slaughtered the entire city? Is this

646
00:45:12,079 --> 00:45:15,000
where the telephone game happened? Not
yet. No. According to legend,

647
00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:20,320
La Maa Lynch was the one who
uncovered the plot. She was approached by

648
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:25,119
a Chilula noblewoman who promised her her
son in marriage if she betrayed the Spanish.

649
00:45:27,039 --> 00:45:29,840
So in her noble son to Lamolynch
and she'd be like, you'd be

650
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,000
one of us, you'd be part
of the noble class here. And Malinch

651
00:45:32,119 --> 00:45:35,639
was like, oh sounds great.
Toll me the whole plan and I and

652
00:45:35,679 --> 00:45:37,199
I'm and I'm in. And so
they told her the whole plan and she

653
00:45:37,239 --> 00:45:42,440
immediately turned went to Cortes and was
like smart, Hey, they're about to

654
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,880
set you up. Yeah, in
some brownie points with head honcho. Yeah.

655
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:51,639
Absolutely. In later centuries, this
story has often been cited as an

656
00:45:51,679 --> 00:45:55,599
example of Lama Lynch's quote betrayal of
her people. No, that's just being

657
00:45:55,679 --> 00:46:01,519
on the right side. Yeah,
it's seen the landscape and going with the

658
00:46:04,199 --> 00:46:07,840
intelligent choice. I'm are you hundreds
of not thousands of miles from my home.

659
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:10,760
My life's been torn apart anyway,
I'm trying to live. Well,

660
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:15,719
can I walk it back even further
than it's it's you know, uh,

661
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,599
the smart choice and she was just
looking out for number one or whatever.

662
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:23,360
Yeah, so I don't think that
it's even fair to call the Chiluluins her

663
00:46:23,519 --> 00:46:28,000
people. No, she wouldn't have
viewed them as her people, absolutely not.

664
00:46:28,159 --> 00:46:32,360
She wasn't from there. Yeah,
it's it's honestly a bit reductive and

665
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:37,360
sort of like put projecting back on
history and a little racist to be honest,

666
00:46:37,599 --> 00:46:40,880
to be like, oh, well
they're brown from school, they're the

667
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,280
same. They didn't view each other. She's like, I grew up in

668
00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,679
this city state before being a fucking
slave over here. This is a different

669
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:50,920
city state that I have. No. I mean, we're both Aztec tributaries,

670
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,079
I guess, but we are ethnically
different in my mind. We are

671
00:46:52,159 --> 00:46:57,119
culturally different in my mind. Do
you not consider people from Iowa your people?

672
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,000
No? Kind of actually, because
we're culture the same, We're Midwestern

673
00:47:00,039 --> 00:47:05,800
and everything. But I wouldn't consider
a Swedish person my people like if but

674
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,199
someone outside I'd be like well,
they're white, white and white. So

675
00:47:07,559 --> 00:47:10,440
yeah, it's like, no,
dude, like Canadian, No, I

676
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,679
don't consider it Canadian Canadians like maybe
a cousin. No, I mean,

677
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,360
but I don't feel strong. Imagine
like going up to someone, like if

678
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:21,599
someone from outside the country and be
like in Birmingham, Alabama, like,

679
00:47:21,639 --> 00:47:23,400
oh, you're like the people from
Delaware, You'll be like, shut the

680
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:27,440
fuck up. Ye'll be like fuck
you. They'd fight you. Like if

681
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,599
there's actually a lot of parallels between
Delaware and Alabama, Oh yeah, name

682
00:47:30,679 --> 00:47:37,199
them good football. You're right,
the Blue Hens. I mean, probably

683
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:43,960
Delaware has put a better quarterback in
the league than Alabama ever has. Mmmm,

684
00:47:44,199 --> 00:47:50,280
that's not true. Joe Namath,
Joe Flacco, every Joe name of

685
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:53,280
stinks. That's a terrible The only
one, uh who Bart Starr would be

686
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,840
the argument, you're right, Bart, sorry, would be the argument.

687
00:47:57,519 --> 00:48:01,320
I would also argue was fine,
Yeah he was found on Flacco's level or

688
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:07,960
Jalen Hurts neither on Flacco's level.
Yet Flacca has one Super Bowl roo Yeah,

689
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:12,880
yeah, I can't argue with you. Super Bowls count for things they

690
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:16,480
do. But it's a fifty three
roster. Okay, here's another thing they

691
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:20,719
need to have the lovity of Joe
Flacco. They have not put up his

692
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:22,679
numbers Comeback Player of the Year.
He did beat Tomorrow Hamlin, who literally

693
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,639
died. I'm just saying that,
like, Joe Flacco beat a man that

694
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:30,400
died for Comeback Player of the Year. He deserves it too, because that

695
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:34,400
would have been they made the Browns. Okay. I think everyone bet on

696
00:48:34,559 --> 00:48:37,920
Tamar Hamlin to win that, and
every sports betting site was like, hey,

697
00:48:38,079 --> 00:48:40,840
NFL, yeah, back to uh
the start of this this program.

698
00:48:42,079 --> 00:48:45,360
Conspiracy, the sports conspiracy is pulled
the rug from underneath everybody. They're like,

699
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,000
oh, you thought Tomor Hamlin was
a lock, No, sir,

700
00:48:49,679 --> 00:48:53,800
I'm just gonna say, uh,
look, obviously the league is different now.

701
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:58,199
But Joe Flacco's top twenty all time
in passing yards. So let's just

702
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,679
pump the brakes on two end them
until they maybe have a longer career.

703
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:05,320
I'm not saying they're not as talented
or more as He's no John Parker Wilson,

704
00:49:05,639 --> 00:49:08,920
all right, he's no Brodie Froyle. Yeah, hey, John Parker

705
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:15,760
Wilson solely off two days. Yeah, over high. So for now,

706
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:21,000
Flacco ahead although I'm not saying he's
you know, more like just god given

707
00:49:21,079 --> 00:49:23,679
gifted than them. Either way.
Wait, the Flaco thing, we're still

708
00:49:23,679 --> 00:49:27,880
on that. Okay, No we're
not okay, So yeah, by the

709
00:49:28,039 --> 00:49:30,440
Chilulans were not her people. I
just that's an asenine thing. That's an

710
00:49:30,440 --> 00:49:37,360
asenine take in my opinion. But
it doesn't matter because it's all bullshit.

711
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:39,679
It definitely didn't happen that way.
It didn't happen that they definitely slaughtered the

712
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:44,360
Chilulans, but it didn't happen that
way almost certainly. What probably really happened

713
00:49:45,159 --> 00:49:51,880
is that the tlox Collins were fucking
furious with the Chilulans. Who goes.

714
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,079
For a long time, the chi
Lulans and tlox Collins were allies holding out

715
00:49:55,119 --> 00:50:00,280
against the Aztecs fleather flower war bros
or whatever. And then the chi Lulans,

716
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:05,880
through either money or you know,
just a foot on the neck or

717
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,880
whatever, flip flopped and became a
client state slash ally of the Aztecs.

718
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:17,039
Questions fully enveloped the Tlax columns,
completely made them surrounded. The tax colons

719
00:50:17,079 --> 00:50:22,239
were like And that was only a
couple of years before Cortez showed up too,

720
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,039
like two three years before Cortez showed
up. That happened. So this

721
00:50:24,159 --> 00:50:29,559
is fresh. This isn't even like
a generational anger. No, I mean

722
00:50:29,639 --> 00:50:35,400
this is everyone's bad. Yeah,
everyone's bad le bones. In order to

723
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,920
strengthen his alliance with the Tlax Columns, and allegedly the Tlax Colins asked him

724
00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:43,480
to do. This is a sort
of like litmus test of his dedication to

725
00:50:43,599 --> 00:50:50,599
them. Cortes just slaughtered the fucking
Schilulans. And then Cortes made the ambush

726
00:50:50,639 --> 00:50:54,920
story up to justify to the King
of Spain why he completely slaughtered this town.

727
00:50:55,119 --> 00:50:59,920
I love that they could just kind
of wing an excuse for war crimes.

728
00:51:00,039 --> 00:51:02,440
His war times didn't exist, but
like the Vanish still were like,

729
00:51:02,519 --> 00:51:06,159
don't just slaughter. I was gonna
say, they actually had to come up

730
00:51:06,159 --> 00:51:07,400
with an excuse to I was surprised
by that, to be honest, d

731
00:51:07,599 --> 00:51:14,239
Columbus got put in jail for being
too cruel to Indians. Really in Spanish

732
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:19,199
jail. It's incredible because he didn't
ride for Spain. That was a very

733
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,440
kettle black moment by Spain. I
know you're being too cruel. Excuse me,

734
00:51:22,599 --> 00:51:25,800
what this is that was happening like
the same time he was going on

735
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:30,000
in Spain. He was a skip
because he was Italian, and they're like,

736
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:34,400
he's not one of us. Yeah, yeah, it's easy. It's

737
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:39,760
like firing a line coach, you
know, yeah, like at DC or

738
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:45,119
something. Yeah, strength and conditioning
coach. So that's why. Finally,

739
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:52,920
after slaughtering the Chilulans, the combined
forces reached Tanah's Plan in early November fifteen

740
00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:55,519
nineteen, where they were met by
Montazuma on a causeway leading into the city.

741
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,159
Montezuma came to, you know and
negotiate with the Spanish. Lama Lynch

742
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:05,519
was completely in the middle of the
event, and by this point she spoke

743
00:52:05,559 --> 00:52:09,119
Spanish, so oh no, she
was doing the She was what fuck else

744
00:52:09,199 --> 00:52:12,119
is she going to communicate with?
Cortest Yeah, I know, right,

745
00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:16,480
So she hit the other translators just
there while they're banging. That would be

746
00:52:16,559 --> 00:52:25,800
hot, And he asked if you
liked that. So Manazuma spoke to them

747
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:30,960
in a sort of flowery way,
allegedly, and the Spanish took that as

748
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:36,800
a as a sign of submission to
them. However, historians don't buy that.

749
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:39,400
The easiest way to explain this.
I could get really into detail about

750
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:44,760
the languages, but essentially, Manazuma
was speaking a language I think it was

751
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,400
the Wadle or whatever, but I'm
not positive. It's just very this way

752
00:52:47,480 --> 00:52:52,360
it's spoken. It's very deferential.
It's very I don't know polites the right

753
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:57,719
way, but very like people just
keep deferring to each other, and very

754
00:52:57,840 --> 00:53:01,880
like passive or whatever however you want
to say it. And but it's it's

755
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:07,280
if you speak the language, you
understand that just because they're being deferential doesn't

756
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:10,159
mean they are deferring. It's just
the way the language kind of it's really

757
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:15,599
a tactical language in that in a
setting of negotiation, right, like,

758
00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:22,480
Yeah, however, something was a
bit lost in translation to Spanish, so

759
00:53:22,599 --> 00:53:29,039
it just sounded like he was bending
over. Oh interesting, Yeah, I

760
00:53:29,159 --> 00:53:31,400
wondered why, Like I wonder what
it was. I yeah, I don't

761
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,960
know, and I like I read
a whole explanation on it, but it

762
00:53:35,079 --> 00:53:37,880
was just kind of like convoluted,
and I didn't really feel like it's just

763
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:43,360
essentially there the there was a lost
in translation moment that made the Spanish think

764
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:47,960
or justify that Montezula was surrendering that's
a very European thing. Well, I

765
00:53:49,039 --> 00:53:53,559
assume the explanation being convoluted it is. I imagine it would be something like

766
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,800
they're like, well, we're going
to come in and take the city,

767
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:59,079
and like he was like, oh, you're more than welcome to try.

768
00:54:00,119 --> 00:54:01,360
And it was like, oh he
says we're welcome. Yeah, yeah,

769
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:05,960
like yeah, something could be something. Yeah, seriously, So anyway,

770
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,360
blah blah blah. As we all
know, the Spanish conquered the Aztecs killed

771
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:12,880
Montezuma. In the year fifteen twenty
two, after the fall of Natus Clan,

772
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:19,960
Lama Lynch gives birth to her first
son, Martine Cortes, HM Cortes's

773
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:23,519
firstborn son as well. Did he
do anything notable or no? I didn't

774
00:54:23,519 --> 00:54:29,000
look it up. He was the
Nirvana baby. Yeah, I did look

775
00:54:29,079 --> 00:54:34,119
at the war. I did randomly
look up at one point. Saka Juwaya's

776
00:54:34,159 --> 00:54:36,679
son, who she carried with her
on the whole Lewis and Clark trip.

777
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,800
Turns out he ended up moving back
to Saint Louis with Lewis or Clark,

778
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:45,480
I can't remember which one. And
uh, he's an alumni of my brother's

779
00:54:45,559 --> 00:54:50,039
high school. Really yeah, Saint
Louis University High School. Nice went to

780
00:54:50,159 --> 00:54:52,639
lou How the fuck did they have
high school back then? It was more

781
00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:58,440
like a university secondary school back then. But that high school my brothers and

782
00:54:58,519 --> 00:55:00,679
my dad is my dad's high school
too. It is founded in eighteen eighteen

783
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:05,599
along with the university. Is that
the school that got like a silver medal

784
00:55:05,639 --> 00:55:07,920
in the Olympics. No, that's
my school. That's my high school.

785
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:15,960
Wow, damn CBC, it makes
no sense. Series Olympics. We want

786
00:55:15,079 --> 00:55:19,199
we want a silver medal in soccer. Second best soccer team in the world

787
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,760
in nineteen oh four? Was that
the insane Olympics though with like the people

788
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,280
getting the cars for the marathon.
Yeah, second best soccer team in the

789
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:29,239
world in nineteen oh four. No
one knew how to get to that Olympics.

790
00:55:30,360 --> 00:55:35,880
Second best soccer team was fair.
Yeah, I'm behind and be like,

791
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:42,119
hey, world champ, the fastest
guy here. It's just me real

792
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:45,599
quick. Before we get back into
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793
00:55:45,679 --> 00:55:49,480
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794
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795
00:55:55,840 --> 00:56:00,800
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798
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799
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:21,320
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800
00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:25,840
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801
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,480
your body that you're working out of. One day's leg day. They'll be

802
00:56:29,559 --> 00:56:31,039
like, hey, don't work the
leg muscles too, it needs to recover.

803
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Yeah, let's work. Let's do
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804
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,119
quads, no quast and the leg
Let's do some pecks. Sometimes you can

805
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separate leg muscles. Yeah, but
insane it does that. That's how like

806
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in depth this is like it can
be like, Okay, you worked your

807
00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:49,239
calves yesterday, so let's work quads
today. Nothing but calves. Yeah yeah,

808
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:53,559
yeah, but calves in wrist you
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809
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curls and wrist pull overs. How's
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810
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suck because it's but whatever, but
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811
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815
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821
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831
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shots per box while your subscription is
active. That's essentially the story of La

880
01:01:04,719 --> 01:01:08,519
malench you know. That's what happened
with her. However, we're gonna talk

881
01:01:08,519 --> 01:01:15,239
about her legacy here for a minute. Was she just a guide and an

882
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:21,000
interpreter? No one who was there
thinks that she was merely an interpreter,

883
01:01:21,119 --> 01:01:25,880
and neither do historians. Bernard Diaz
de Castillo, a soldier with the Cortes's

884
01:01:25,920 --> 01:01:34,760
outfit who wrote the most thorough contemporary
account of Cortes's conquests. Uh he wrote

885
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:38,199
as an old man, but he
said that Cortez or he he said he

886
01:01:38,239 --> 01:01:42,199
called her Donia Marina. They named
her Marina after the baptized her. So

887
01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:45,239
Donia Marina, as she was known
by all the Spanish soldiers. Donia is

888
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:50,039
like another hot sauce. It's it
is Uh, but Donia is like an

889
01:01:50,239 --> 01:01:58,960
honorific. It's like madam or or
like I gotta imagine. Yeah, So

890
01:01:59,079 --> 01:02:02,039
anyway, he was like she we
would not have we would not have done

891
01:02:02,079 --> 01:02:05,840
what we did without her. She
was like the MVP, like I said.

892
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,159
Cortes said that after God, she
was the main reason. Although some

893
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:15,159
say Marina La Lamnch or Ma Lynch
maybe known as a trader, she was

894
01:02:15,199 --> 01:02:19,880
not viewed as such by the Tlux
Collins. She was shown as a super

895
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,000
important figure in the native tellings of
the conquest, not important in that she

896
01:02:23,239 --> 01:02:28,719
was the primary antagonist or something,
but that she was in their depictions of

897
01:02:28,760 --> 01:02:31,480
her. She's larger than life.
Sometimes she's depicted and Cortes isn't even in

898
01:02:31,639 --> 01:02:37,280
the picture. That's crazy. And
in a lot of stuff she's larger than

899
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:42,440
Cortes. She's shown in rich lavish
clothing. She's an important noble woman.

900
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:49,039
The alliance is shown in at least
one depiction being between her and the tlox

901
01:02:49,119 --> 01:02:54,320
Colin, not between the talx Colin
and the Spanish. Oh okay. In

902
01:02:54,440 --> 01:03:00,920
another history. Not only is Cortes
rarely portrayed without her, but she is

903
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:04,559
shown, like I said, at
times on her own as an independent authority.

904
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,840
So she is. And this might
be because of her noble upbringing.

905
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:10,400
So in her where she was brought
up, she's not chained up like Princess

906
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:14,239
Lean job of the hut. No, No, she is when you were

907
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,440
a noble wife in where she grew
up, and really honestly in Europe in

908
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:21,400
a lot of places too, when
you're sold off as a bride to you

909
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,280
know, foster and alliance or whatever, you're not just like there to have

910
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:29,360
kids or whatever. You're there to
help be a bridge with the people that

911
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:34,159
you know married you off and stuff
like Steward for the culture for democracy.

912
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:40,880
Today's historians actually give a ton of
credit to lam Lynch's diplomatic skills. With

913
01:03:42,239 --> 01:03:45,639
this is a direct quote. Some
almost tempted to think of her as the

914
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:51,239
real conqueror of Mexico. Wow,
that's impressive. I mean, she was

915
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:54,480
doing so apparently she was not just
in its basically what's happening. She's not

916
01:03:54,679 --> 01:04:00,320
just interpreting, she's not just translation. She is doing the deal. Yeah,

917
01:04:00,559 --> 01:04:02,480
I mean, and that makes sense
too, because she's in the position

918
01:04:02,559 --> 01:04:05,679
to do so. She's kind of
the the rosetta stone of the situation,

919
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:10,199
right, like she knows most of
the languages that are being spoken. And

920
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:14,199
by the way, if someone says
something fucked up or something that might offend

921
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:18,760
Cortes or vice versa, she can
maybe massage that leave it out. Yeah.

922
01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:23,280
She also yeah, threw in some
of her own perks and threw in

923
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:26,039
some of her own shit to like
that she knew would make them happier,

924
01:04:26,559 --> 01:04:30,079
so on and so forth. Like
I said, the conquisadors that were there,

925
01:04:30,159 --> 01:04:33,159
So she helped convince natives. Oh, I didn't say. This's actually

926
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:38,119
the conquisoers were there that were there, also said that she helped convince natives

927
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:43,280
that it was useless to fight against
the Spanish because of their tech and guns

928
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:46,280
and ship probably horses, horse people
as well. She probably just rolled up

929
01:04:46,280 --> 01:04:49,079
with a rifle and like pointed it
at someone. It was like, check

930
01:04:49,159 --> 01:04:53,199
it out, Look, how I
just killed that she Yeah, just to

931
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:56,480
prove a point. There's one hundred
thousand people with these that were there.

932
01:04:56,599 --> 01:05:00,199
Honestly, this woman's a gangster.
Her legacy in Mexico is honestly fascinating.

933
01:05:00,239 --> 01:05:03,840
I probably should have said this earlier. I doubt I'm doing her justice because

934
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:09,480
again, this is soft core history. She's an extremely fascinating person that in

935
01:05:09,599 --> 01:05:13,199
terms more so of the reaction to
her in a lot of ways. So

936
01:05:13,599 --> 01:05:19,079
partly she is seen as the mother
of mestizos, which is Spanish and indigenous

937
01:05:19,119 --> 01:05:24,320
combine basically most Mexicans you know,
mm hmm. But she adapted on the

938
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:30,199
fly, dude. Yeah. She
props to her for just like seeing what

939
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,719
was gonna happen and choosing the right
side. She is also seen by some

940
01:05:34,039 --> 01:05:39,119
like I like you alluded to and
like it is probably obvious to listeners as

941
01:05:39,159 --> 01:05:44,679
a trader, so much so that
today in Mexican Spanish, the words lamon

942
01:05:44,760 --> 01:05:49,800
chismo and lamonchista are used to denounce
Mexicans who are perceived as denying their own

943
01:05:49,920 --> 01:05:55,880
culture in preference of a foreign cultural
expression. Interesting the Henry Sehudos of the

944
01:05:55,920 --> 01:06:00,159
world, you won't get that.
Uh he's from America, but he has,

945
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:03,119
you know, Mexican roots, and
it's like, I'll never fly in

946
01:06:03,159 --> 01:06:05,719
Mexican flag. Why would I do
that? So it's essentially like, if

947
01:06:05,760 --> 01:06:11,280
you're not acting Mexican enough, if
you're acting to white or I don't know,

948
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:13,519
African American, maybe you get into
a hip hop or whatever, and

949
01:06:13,599 --> 01:06:15,880
you're kind of just like, yeah, fuck Mexico. I'm I think that

950
01:06:15,039 --> 01:06:17,800
like black culture is cool. Or
he also won an Olympic called Medal for

951
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:25,239
America, so sick, yeah,
malchiesta or Lamonchismo. Uh, if you,

952
01:06:25,519 --> 01:06:30,719
if you do that. Some historians
believe that Lama lynch Uh saved her

953
01:06:30,760 --> 01:06:35,800
people from the Aztecs, who were
the regional hegemon and we're you know,

954
01:06:36,039 --> 01:06:41,599
basically taxing every stealing from everyone.
Really Uh Again, she grew up in

955
01:06:41,599 --> 01:06:45,039
a city state that was basically a
client state of the aztex so she might

956
01:06:45,079 --> 01:06:48,440
have had something against the Aztecs.
Although I don't think I really don't think

957
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:53,440
it was a revenge tour for her. That's that is a narrative that it

958
01:06:53,599 --> 01:06:56,800
was sort of a revenge tour and
a fuck the Aztec tour. I don't

959
01:06:56,840 --> 01:07:00,519
think that that is there were people
who were like fuck the Asseex that Colins

960
01:07:00,559 --> 01:07:02,639
in particular. Yeah, I don't
think that was necessarily where she was coming

961
01:07:02,679 --> 01:07:10,719
from. It doesn't. It didn't
give her any pause. There's no pause

962
01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:13,440
like oh, should I do this
to the Aztecs. There was never that

963
01:07:13,599 --> 01:07:15,800
moment where it's like right, it
was like yeah, it she remembered.

964
01:07:16,079 --> 01:07:21,239
Yeah, it was probably it could
have been the at So I will say

965
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:26,320
this, we don't know how she
became a slave, fully, but she

966
01:07:26,519 --> 01:07:31,760
was living in Aztec territory and was
kidnapped and then sold to Mayans people outside

967
01:07:31,800 --> 01:07:39,800
of the Aztec territory. Stands to
reason maybe that Mayans weren't rating, especially

968
01:07:39,880 --> 01:07:41,480
that far. She was kind of
far up the coast a little bit,

969
01:07:41,679 --> 01:07:45,239
that it was Aztec's kidnapping Randa who
wandered too far away from the village along

970
01:07:45,239 --> 01:07:48,639
with other women and boys and stuff, and probably and then sold them to

971
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:54,440
a neighboring power for profit. Yeah. I mean, it could just been

972
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:57,519
about bandits, like you said,
like they're just raiders. Yeah, and

973
01:07:57,559 --> 01:08:00,239
it's just a legal slave trade.
Who knows. I don't. I don't

974
01:08:00,239 --> 01:08:03,000
think she necessarily had anything in Siaztec's
like that. Certainly not like the Tlex

975
01:08:03,039 --> 01:08:09,320
columns did in my opinion, but
it's not a very informed opinion. So

976
01:08:10,599 --> 01:08:14,639
starting in the nineteen sixties, she
also became really popular with Mexican feminists and

977
01:08:14,760 --> 01:08:17,800
she lived a long time. Huh
yeah, yeah. Chiicanas started to refer

978
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:21,920
to her as mother because she was
sort of the quote unquote mother of their

979
01:08:23,119 --> 01:08:28,800
race of Mexicans, although after the
Mexican Revolution when they got independence from Spain,

980
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:30,640
people did think she was a trader, fucking etor wanted to kind of

981
01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:35,640
push off anything that was Spanish.
Mexican feminists, though, defended Lamelynch as

982
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:40,279
a woman caught between cultures forced to
make complex decisions. They treated her like

983
01:08:40,279 --> 01:08:42,880
a human being. They also called
her the mother of a new race,

984
01:08:43,640 --> 01:08:48,039
and they viewed any sort of uh
calling her a trader as escapegoating. At

985
01:08:48,039 --> 01:08:51,720
the very least, is taking heat
off a cortez. I mean, I

986
01:08:51,800 --> 01:08:55,680
gotta wonder and someone can flame me
for this. I don't really care,

987
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:57,960
but like to be like, oh, just trying to push away the Mexico

988
01:08:57,960 --> 01:08:59,800
stuff. It's like, well it's
kind of late for that, right,

989
01:09:00,319 --> 01:09:02,079
Like that's very much half of your
like a big half of your culture Spain

990
01:09:02,159 --> 01:09:05,239
to push off Spain or yeah,
push off Spain. Sorry, Like so

991
01:09:05,439 --> 01:09:08,560
we gotta to denounce that. It's
like it's a lot more than half if

992
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:12,159
that's the language you speak, yeah, right, Like I'm just saying and

993
01:09:12,279 --> 01:09:15,239
maybe you know, well, Irish
people would be pissed if you said that,

994
01:09:16,239 --> 01:09:20,319
yeah, because they didn't they spect
they spoke Gaelic, yeah, and

995
01:09:20,479 --> 01:09:24,880
then they were forced to unlearn Gaelic. Yeah, so I mean there could

996
01:09:24,880 --> 01:09:26,680
have been that situation. But either
way, what I'm saying is like,

997
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:28,680
no, it probably was that situation, but at this point it doesn't matter.

998
01:09:29,199 --> 01:09:33,359
Yeah, but either way to push
away, like you're very much this

999
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:36,640
too. Yeah, I don't know. It's just like I would feel very

1000
01:09:36,680 --> 01:09:41,479
conflicted by that if I was like
half of it, right, I was

1001
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:43,239
like, oh, I gotta get
rid of that. Way, I'm already

1002
01:09:43,279 --> 01:09:45,439
half of it. It's not quite
the same, but you know, the

1003
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:47,960
when the American Revolution happened, we
didn't want to be under British rule,

1004
01:09:48,079 --> 01:09:53,159
but we kept quite a bit of
British like common law and all that stuff.

1005
01:09:53,319 --> 01:09:55,560
Yeah, it's like we didn't think
the system or the culture was bad.

1006
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:59,319
We just didn't want the taxes.
Yeah really yeah. Yeah. After

1007
01:09:59,399 --> 01:10:00,920
the War, wash and kind of
sided with the English over the French.

1008
01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:05,399
Yeah one because the French were way
more culturally different. And he's like,

1009
01:10:05,439 --> 01:10:10,000
I understand the English. Yeah,
the English were the closest we were English.

1010
01:10:10,119 --> 01:10:12,960
Really, it's like we just really
hated the tax system. Yeah.

1011
01:10:13,199 --> 01:10:16,960
Yeah, It's really is one thing, and we still do. But that's

1012
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:21,039
all I got for today. What
do you guys learn today? I learned

1013
01:10:21,079 --> 01:10:27,279
that these hot sauce kingdoms really just
could not hold their own No, I

1014
01:10:27,479 --> 01:10:30,399
guess I learned about this person in
general. But also I want I'm really

1015
01:10:30,439 --> 01:10:34,199
excited to learn about the like college
football war. The war. That probably

1016
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:38,880
my very next episode, because I
started reading it and I was like fuck,

1017
01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:42,119
because I was going to mention a
decent amount about it. But then

1018
01:10:42,159 --> 01:10:44,159
I was like, there's just so
much be a whole episode. Yeah,

1019
01:10:44,199 --> 01:10:45,720
yeah, yeah, I had something
confirmed. Seems like a Patreon episode.

1020
01:10:46,439 --> 01:10:49,640
Well I am Patreon next week,
so subscribe to our Patreon Patreon dot com,

1021
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:54,119
slow software history. If you want
to wars, don't Wikipedia, Do

1022
01:10:54,239 --> 01:10:57,960
not Wikipedia. Way to do it
first, straight to the paper. From

1023
01:10:57,960 --> 01:11:00,319
there, our first two parter and
it's behind a pay Well. It did

1024
01:11:00,399 --> 01:11:03,000
confirm something for me though, and
that's if you're in the position to tell

1025
01:11:03,199 --> 01:11:08,960
one group of people something like another
from another group of people, you have

1026
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:12,319
a lot of power. There's power
and interpretation and power and messaging la power

1027
01:11:12,359 --> 01:11:15,960
in middle just middle man in general. Yeah, it's not bad being in

1028
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,439
the middle. It's a good gig
if you can get it, Lucky Pierre.

1029
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:23,880
Just like there's this one dude that
speaks Portuguese as the interpreter for the

1030
01:11:23,960 --> 01:11:30,239
UFC, does every single event because
there's always brazil Brazilian fighters, and that's

1031
01:11:30,319 --> 01:11:32,359
I mean, that's that's good pay. It's gotta be go to every UFC

1032
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:38,439
event Portuguese dude, are you kidding
me? There's some guy who literally,

1033
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:45,159
I guarantee makes six figures just to
translate show Ao Tani. Oh yeah,

1034
01:11:45,760 --> 01:11:47,960
you know, I kind of just
need to become fluent in the language.

1035
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:50,640
You really, honestly like, if
you want to increase your job prospects,

1036
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:55,399
infinitely, just learn it differently.
That guy just hangs out like on a

1037
01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:59,000
chair or in the dogout of a
Major League Baseball team. It's probably on

1038
01:11:59,119 --> 01:12:01,000
his phone fucking around and someone's like, hey, well you asked show A.

1039
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:05,880
You know, I was arms feeling
understands English too, show for sure.

1040
01:12:06,039 --> 01:12:10,000
I don't think I think he knows
it. Yeah, but I think

1041
01:12:10,079 --> 01:12:14,720
usually it's like Ichiro. I think
because speaking is usually the hardest part.

1042
01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:16,439
I think he doesn't want to.
He choose not to. It's almost a

1043
01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:19,319
power move. That is a power
move. I agree with that. Uh,

1044
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:23,079
did. What did you say,
Oh wait, what did you learn?

1045
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:27,399
I learned about this Mexican mother,
the mother of Mexic, Mother of

1046
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:30,319
Mexico. Is that the title mother
of Mexicans, the mother of Mexico.

1047
01:12:30,399 --> 01:12:33,640
Yeah, like no, not Mexico, Mexicans. She invented the race in

1048
01:12:33,720 --> 01:12:36,279
her womb. They did kind of
say that. The Mexican feminist of the

1049
01:12:36,319 --> 01:12:40,439
sixties said that she kind of was
the mother of a new race. Uh,

1050
01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:46,720
who's today's hitler? Mmmm, I'm
gonna send the tribe that kind of

1051
01:12:46,760 --> 01:12:51,000
went back on the word and tried
to pull the old switcheru the Chilulans.

1052
01:12:51,039 --> 01:12:55,800
Yeah, the Chiluin's just trying to
backstab Cortez. He's just a hard work

1053
01:12:55,840 --> 01:13:00,399
in grinder. That's That's not what
happened. This a tribe a hater.

1054
01:13:01,319 --> 01:13:05,159
I honestly, dude, the guys
just trying to set up shop, do

1055
01:13:05,319 --> 01:13:10,760
his own thing. He's an entrepreneur. Yeah. I could also say the

1056
01:13:10,840 --> 01:13:15,960
Chaluons for dipping on the other kingdom. Yeah yeah. Or they took a

1057
01:13:16,039 --> 01:13:19,039
deal they had to make. They're
looking out for number one. Yeah,

1058
01:13:19,039 --> 01:13:24,359
but they kept sucking them themselves,
so every deal they made was bad.

1059
01:13:25,119 --> 01:13:28,399
Yeah. I don't think the chi
Lulans were in a great position. I

1060
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:33,680
mean the Hitler's Cortez. Yeah,
how about the slave traders? Yeah they're

1061
01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:40,000
not great. No, which is
everyone? Everyone's Hitler? Tod it Earth

1062
01:13:40,079 --> 01:13:43,560
is Hitler. Humans are Hitler.
Humans are Hitler. Yeah. Well that

1063
01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:45,359
is all I have got. Thank
you so much for listening. Again.

1064
01:13:45,399 --> 01:13:48,560
We have a Patreon patrion dot com
slash soft core history five dollars a month,

1065
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:51,039
get you two episodes a week,
and a like two year long back

1066
01:13:51,079 --> 01:13:57,199
catalog. At this point all evergreen
content save for the occasional college football reference.

1067
01:13:57,680 --> 01:14:00,840
Check it all out, and then
please leave a review on Apple and

1068
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:06,159
Spotify. Maybe let's read some more. We got some good ones. So

1069
01:14:06,840 --> 01:14:12,920
this one is from sixty nine st
X sixty nine excellent, It's great.

1070
01:14:13,239 --> 01:14:15,439
Became a patron, do it.
It's the least you can do for such

1071
01:14:15,560 --> 01:14:20,920
great, such a great show.
Stoked. I found this from eight point

1072
01:14:21,000 --> 01:14:25,159
five pointer. I went through high
school and college, read and everything.

1073
01:14:25,279 --> 01:14:29,239
Robin Dan put on TFM, no
mention of Jake and now love listening to

1074
01:14:29,319 --> 01:14:32,359
the pod. Sick. Didn't realize
this existed until two months ago. You

1075
01:14:32,399 --> 01:14:35,880
want a lot of other people and
looking forward to catching up on the catalog.

1076
01:14:36,560 --> 01:14:40,199
So yeah, please. Word of
mouth is the best way to spread

1077
01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:44,680
really show, and I'm sure there's
I mean there's literal millions of people that

1078
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:46,720
read me and Rob stuff at TFM. If they could find the show,

1079
01:14:46,720 --> 01:14:51,000
maybe they'll like it. Yeah,
just google whatever happened to those losers from

1080
01:14:51,520 --> 01:14:57,880
Do you f those fucking boners?
Yeah? Uh? That has all is

1081
01:14:57,920 --> 01:15:00,000
all I've got though for so for
Jake Old One and Damn Chester, I'm

1082
01:15:00,079 --> 01:15:02,279
Rob FOXX. We love you and
you just got sauce served.