And we are very much back Laps fan Wrestling podcast WWE Royal Rumble two thousand
and eight, This Hoppers on the House and this deep dives for you Boss.
Yes, yes it is. Oh my God twenty seven nine eight in
Attendants Wow five seventy five thousand on pay per view for the Bye Right.
That was a big jump from the two thousand and seven Rumble, which is
only four hundred ninety one thousand. That was, of course, a record
setting year for WrestleMania that year. I heard a lot of people bought after
after number thirty came out. Is that what it was? Must have been
late Buys Street Late Bys paid seventeen thousand and three eighty two at the Garden
for a one point Cenus pack by the show, isn't it? Isn't it
almost over? It doesn't matter. It's John Cena kind a good show.
Call your friends like in the Nitro days. All right, call your friends,
tell them what's on TV. You know that's shoot now though, because
if you buy something on streaming, you can just start at the next morning,
and if you hear about it mid show, it's not really that big
of a deal to buy at mid show because you can still watch the whole
thing. I mean, and you know, so much of this stuff is
done in such a different way now anyway, Like you know, like with
all the pay per views and stuff, you can just you know, in
the middle of the show just turn it on. And that's true. Yeah,
I wasn't thinking about free Peacock. I was thinking like UFC and AW
where you have to pay for every show. Oh yeah. Still it's kind
of like I won't. And then you're on Twitter or you're on social media.
It's like this fight's incredible. It's like, well, and the available
buy it and I'll watch the rest tomorrow. All right, it happens.
Aw's talked about. It's a real thing. I mean, it's it's just
it's easier, you know, it's way easier. Oh yeah, even fucking
with the remote control on your TV. Yeah, it really is. And
it's so much more a peace of mind to know what's sitting there is a
streaming file instead of like a cable outage or some stupid shit with your DVR.
Exactly right. So that was seventeen thousand and three eight two paid in
the building twenty thousand, seven ninety eight attendants for one point three to eight
million at the gate. I don't know. Twenty thousand and seven. Nine
d eights sounded about capacity to you. Absolutely, yeah, absolutely, maybe
a little no, that's about right. I mean it. Yeah, yeah,
I'm trying to think it definitely fit that now. But I think even
back then, I don't think they really gained seats, you know, when
they did the renovations. Maybe a few, I forget the whole deal,
but that does sound right. Twenty thousand anywhere around twenty thousand is pretty accurate
in the garden, and we opened with visions of the New York City Subway.
The ad campaign that year were your favorite WW superstars and trunks. Sorry
one one thing. So first, there was a dark match. Oh,
Jimmy Wang Yong and Shannon Moore defeated Deuce and Domino. Was that on heat?
Were they doing that still? I don't know, but I saw a
dark match. I'm on the Wikipedia page. That's big. Yeah, it's
really big. It is, It's huge. It is so yeah NYC subway
and you know, guys in trunks get on the subway and start fighting.
I was very curious. I was very curious about which, like what if
there was I wanted to see if they actually used real subway stuff, and
so I was just kind of like looking very pausing a lot at the beginning
and just trying to see, like because to me, I'm going to say
that that that opening tracking shot probably CGI. I'll bet at CGI, but
it looks like it's in Queens, I would get. I don't think they
would just build like a fake interior on a set somewhere. I mean,
that was a pretty good background if that, you know, even for I
don't know, I think I think you'd be cheaper doing CGI. Yeah,
less work. But the uh it was ah underground. It was a one
two three train station, so the uh one two three trains? And then
uh, what else did I see? Oh? I A, well,
you you keep going because I don't say when the when the when the family
open, when the family comes in? I saw what go ahead, go
ahead? It was a fourteenth Street stop. Oh okay, they're like they're
they're they're from what I gathered, they are cutting and pasting the entire like
subway like nothing nothing matches. If that was a Queen's train, it's not
a one two three train at all, right, you know, it's it's
it's it's it's it's wacky and uh Shan Waltman wasn't even in the company.
That's a very good point. But you it's what it's a kind of like
a throwback to those old paper you know that could have been. That could
have been a tag team with him and Matt Bloom one two three train three
train Matt Bloom. Oh, Matt Bloom. I was thinking of Matt Bourne
for some reason. He was the a train, yeah, or ice train.
That's rest in peace. But it's one of those throwback ads where it's
like the but we Royal Rumble and it's like comedy and they have actors and
they have people with wide eyes and everything, and they create a scenario.
Right, it's like their sensibility. Yeah, yeah, we'll just make a
little mini movie here. You know, in many many vignette, what we
like to do is showcase the lighter side of what we do. Well,
you know what I mean, let's let's let's have a little fun, you
know, I mean, that's what the w is all about, putting smiles
on faces and having fun smiles on faces, read my face. That's right.
But Pritchard said in his podcast, this is like The concept is what
would happen if WW What would people think would happen if WW wrestlers got on
a subway train and so they go from there. You know, It's funny.
It's not a thought that I ever crossed my mind. You see,
I would think if w W wrestlers got in a train, like any other
human being, they just sit there until their next stop. Right. It's
funny how they make always makes such a big deal about the oh, we're
in New York City, like you know, you don't see other pay per
views kind of have in these very very city specific type of things. I
mean when they go to La I suppose, but you know, other places
don't nearly get this much kind of very It's like, well, and then,
well, we're gonna have subway. Subway is going to be the theme,
oh big time of the Royal Rumble this year. And what we have
is we're also going to have a running train car for all of the graphics.
To me, that's more Chicago. That elevated line like that that you
can see because it looks like it's you know, I mean that that is
it is like that in Queens and Brooklyn, Yes, true, which do
go above ground. But it's not. It's not completely common. It's that
it's just not signature New Yorks. It doesn't scream signature New York City Subway
to me totally. I mean New York Subway is totally underground, especially where
they are at Madison Square Garden. It's all undergrounds. It's hard to depict
an underground rail road for the bottom of third of your screen, but not
really. You could do that anyway. So next stop Addison Square Garden and
you get the fuzzy shots and some called to pass rumbles with JR. And
Gorilla and Fink and all those voices. There's no Madison Square Garden. No,
there isn't Square Gardens. It's it's Penn Station. Penn Station. Yeah,
they show I loved I'll tell you what. This was one of the
best Rumble video packages. They picked really good callbacks, really good callbacks,
and also no shots of Battle Royals. Oh. That's always so infuriating,
isn't it. It's the most infuriating, the most infuriating. Yeah, if
you're doing a Rumble package and you're including that opening match from Wrestling You fourteen,
you're doing it wrong. They always use you know, it's funny.
One of the ones they always use is a shot from like a nineteen ninety
four raw. Yeah, it's like a weird fucking battle Royal, Like of
all the ones, it's so odd, you know. It's also odd.
Is my brother sent me a meme that's going around? I guess it's been
a meme for a while of Steve Austin flipping off Sean Michael's in the middle
of the ring at Wrestling fourteen during their match. Yeah, and it's like
really tightly cropped to Michael's and Austin And in the background is my dad's white
hair. This is like apparently been a meme for years. And there he
is, and you can see me off to the left with my black baseball
hat on. Did you tell your dad's he's a meme? I haven't yet.
I'm sure he's been told. I'm sure he's like, sure, he's
fucking thrilled if sure knows exactly what that is. They even include Tony Shavanni's
voice in those like voices from nineteen ninety the one rumble he called that's really
surprising to me. Yep, but there was a period of time where he
kind of flirted with going back. I don't think it was two thousand and
eight, but that they were talking to him about like a production job or
something and he ended up not taking it. He just thought they were hiring
him to fire him again, which is probably true. Flair Michaels Vince.
They show Austin and they show you know, Austin winning and Caine going crazy
and triple H and O two ray winning, Michael Cole screaming Pyro for the
Mania sign and for for Mania, and it's like that ac DC sounding song
with the guys. Yeah, is it? It sounds like AC No.
I don't think it is, though. I didn't even look up the the
song. They got so much mileage out of whatever whatever shoot. This was
where they had all the guys standing in front of those floodlights. You know
what I'm talking about? Yes, Oh my god. They use those over
and over and over again. So fucking two thousand and two, two thousand
and three. I think this was a fresh batch for the HD era.
It could be wrong, that's true. They probably did. You're right,
but I mean, I mean sort of the conceit not that one shoot.
It's just like the idea of like round lights behind the guys. Yeah,
I mean they still do, they still use that footage. I mean,
I don't know if they still do, but I remember very recently at least
on his on his Titan Tron video, like brock Lesners still has some of
that footage. Yeah, right, you know. And so they got Findley
with hornswoggle between his legs and of course rock and roll. Yeah, and
then the subway closes and Omaga goes nuts in the subway and Batista busts Randy
Orton through one of the windows, and Ray does a sick nine using one
of the posts inside the subway. The Triple h throws his sledgehammer through a
window. But that's like separate from the from the subway. It's like they
attacked Triple h On at the end what I think happened, because if you
watch the ad and we played it for this rumble, did we play it
in part one? The actual full ad with all the I don't remember,
well in case in case we didn't, I'm forgetting here here It is strength
Thanks Toba, Padison, Square Nard Royal Rumbo Live Sunday, January twenty seventh,
only on paper View. So they don't include Michael Buffer saying let's get
ready to and R at the end there where you hear Michael Buffer say let's
get ready to. Yeah, they didn't include that on the Peacock opening.
Oh yes, did you you watched the Peacock version right of this? Yes?
I did. I don't have another version yet for this. It wasn't
easy to find a version for this. It turns out no one gives a
fuck about preserving uh, you know, first run stuff after it stopped being
better. What a surprise that is. Yeah, but you know, my
best guess is that you know, Buffer only agreed to a certain amount of
times so that they could use let's get ready to rumble. That's all I
wonder too, if if really it didn't make sense for the actual pay per
view, if it was just on the you know, because they used the
video package, but they didn't you know, maybe they didn't use him for
the for the actual video package because it goes into the whole the whole Royal
rumble thing. I think so. But that but to me, that explains
that totally strange and disconnected tack on of triple h there at the end,
Like, what's that about? Yeah, unless they're trying to make up a
few seconds or something. Yeah, I don't know, but that's that.
It's the twenty first. The theme song, by the way, stand up
for Rock and Roll by Airborne. Excellent. Yeah they could they shout them
out later in the broadcast, I think, Oh, okay, I didn't
play attention to that. I never pententioned the theme songs. Hey, there's
that garden roof and the pyro Yes. So this is the first w w
HD pay per view and we get that gray w W e h D little
button in the top left. It's so fucking weird to to deal with.
It's such a you know, it's such a you know, it's so funny
you had to announce the US. You know, it's like nobody cares about
four K, Like it's just it's just you know. But I know,
I know a lot of it had to do with the fact that it was
a permanent change from having a box TV into having a widescreen TV. Yeah,
you know, there does there is, there is that, But still
it's like, hey, we're an HD DI amn't. Oh, they're very
they're very proud of themselves. They had no choice, but they're very proud
of themselves. And that the logo was no longer in the far left corner.
Oh, I know, it was like in the middle because they still
had to compensate for for those analog TVs. Yeah, I should say,
whatever however you were displaying it. I hated that so much. I know,
it's really hard to uncomfortable. It was like, it's like seeing like,
I guess this is where my TV used to be, and here's some
extra I felt like I bought like an extra backstage pass or something. I
can see more of the ring. I can see more now, guys,
Uh, we want to be working towards the middle of the frame because they
were in a new era. You can picture them going over it. Oh
god era as well a gentleman I wanted to just go over a couple of
things. And we are in a new era, right we are. We
are now an hd UH accepting organization, vehicle vehicle organization, a huge dick
accepting organization. And basically what you need to be aware of is when you
are in the ring, all right, I need you all to keep a
very very very close eye on the hard cameras, all right, because now
the dimensions are different, all right, We're no longer in a square.
We're now in a rectangle, but we still have to cater to those who
have not evolved to the HDTV. So please keep a close eye on the
hard cameras, all right, and do your best to stay in the middle
of the frame. Just what you need to be thinking about when you're putting
on a fake fight. I keep in mind the lens is like, you
know, like six inches tops, right inches, and they're like, you
know, one hundred feet away from it. There's no chance thinking, all
right, right, work towards the center, damn it, Work towards Are
you screaming at me? Or are you screaming at Congress? Come on,
uh, work towards the center of the ring. Yeah, oh god.
They love nothing more than to like take what wrestling is and like come up
with like rules of TV to impose on it. You know, it's so
stupid, so goofy, so stupid. And you know there were camera idiots
that stuff about how a lot of the spray tan the guys would use in
an HD environment would start to leak and bleed and look completely ridiculous. That's
right, remember that, so wasn't it too? Didn't They also work a
little stiffer yeah, apparently. Yeah, the blows didn't look as realistic.
Okay, so they had to start landing a little harder. You know.
The thing is, I can actually see the millimeter of space between your hand
in the face, so we got to actually have complete impact. And uh
and you know, if you hurt somebody, you hurt somebody. So Michael
cole welcomes us for the twenty first time to the Royal Rumble, but for
the first time ever in HD. And look there in the front row with
the red hat on backwards is red hat guy rich Ochburger. Do you ever
tell you my rich Ockburger story? Oh? I saw him at Mania twenty
four leaving in Orlando with his chair in his hand, and he had been
on like a dealer, no deal and stuff, and any WB fan would
know him as a fixture in the front row. And I said, hey,
man, what's going on? He looked at me like he looked at
me like you've never seen more wide eyed concern that someone had been noticed.
Hey, buddy, if you don't want to be noticed, stay the fuck
home, how about that? Or don't wear a red hat? Right?
Calling cards stayed in full Gammick. It's like I feel like these super fans
are terrified of being asked how they have their tickets because they know there's some
subterfuge at play. Like fact, they know that there's some illegality going on.
Even the Vlad documentary it had got into it, but it never ends
the question how he was able to get those and still able to get those
tickets? Never answer the question. I remember I remember reading an article years
ago and I think I read it on the show. I think I might
have read it Survivor series ninety six when we did that, and I remember
him like a guy that this guy went up to an asked him and started
talking with him, and he said something like like I know a guy or
something like panic panic sets in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's like
I mean, I wouldn't doubt that he was that he at one point,
I don't know, maybe he uh maybe he actually even even because he was
always well built, he might have even, uh, you know, done
a tryout or something. Yeah. Well they talked a little bit about that,
you trek about Lad, right, I didn't see I never saw the
documentary. Yeah. Yeah, he kind of did fancy himself as a potential
wrestler. I'm not sure, they gave him a tryout per se. They
did involve him at an angle one time where he you know, picked all
Cogan as the partner. Yeah, Roddy Piper, Like, who's gonna fight
Roddy Piper? When he picked hell Cogan and it was a big pot up.
They kind of rubbed him in. But yeah, maybe I don't know,
maybe he's got Pat Patterson on speed dial exactly. That would that'd be
one way. So anyway, we see the Mania logo and the sun coming
up in Orlando and we see Justin Roberts announcing we do we do? This
is uh pre uh pre bullying, I guess, or at least pre I
think probably in the middle of it middle a bullying, Yeah, I mean
like pre exposing bullying. Yeah. He would go on to write a book
about his time in the company, and uh yeah, what a reality he
was not he has yet to be bullied into unemployment over a to a w
Yeah, so he's mid raing career threatening match. What did you think of
this flair run? Oh? You know, I couldn't stand it. They
had such an opportunity here, like they had the opportunity to make incredible shit
happen like to really to really celebrate Rick Flair, and they just dropped the
fucking ball. How awesome would it have been? I like, like they
they had it for like two seconds and then they lost confidence in it,
and it's like you could have they could have gone all the way with it.
Oh yeah, and actually had and created a compelling story that I know
wouldn't fit into the plans, so to speak, that they had. But
if you're going to force Rick Flair into retirement, you could have done it
in a much much more dramatic fashion and actually had him do what he should
have done and gone for the title. I've I always thought that like that,
like the fact that he had these one off pay per view matches,
as as like the threat, the career threatening, it's so stupid. It
should have been every fucking week. It wasn't. It wasn't every not after
That's how it started. And then it just sometimes I don't think he was
even on raw. Oh so you're saying there were weeks he didn't wrestle at
all. Yeah, there were weeks that isn't there. And and and given
this this animosity that that Vince had for Flair on on television, it should
have been every week. He should have been bringing out guys exactly, and
I think I think a great way to kind of fuck him over would have
been I've always thought this. I mean, you know, I had lengthy
conversations about it. I'm curious if you remember. But he should have been
number one in the Royal Rumble and one. Oh my god, that fucking
amazing. Could you imagine, Oh my god, people would have lost their
fucking mind exactly if he fucking went in there all right, number one.
And then you're like, Okay, I guess they're gonna fucking kill him tonight.
And here's the question. Do you establish ahead of time that he at
the Rumble counts for his career? Match? Absolutely that that's you have to
But do you do you establish ahead of time he's number one? Yes?
All of it? Wow, Back, your selling point, like your whole
selling point of the Rumble is Rick Flair is number one and his career is
on the line, and people will be gunning for him, right because he
keeps winning and winning, and Vince gets so frustrated. I mean, how
much you know, you get twenty nine fucking people and then and then he's
in this incredible predicament because because kind of hey, fantasy booking, but because
Flair wins the Rumble, and it's like, but now he's got a quote
unquote contracted WrestleMania match, so even if he loses, like it creates an
incredible amount of drama, Like yeah, you know it's it's so I like,
it could have been amazing and there's and if you're gonna do that,
you do that with Ric Flair, you know, and and I think you
and I even said at one point, then you know, he goes in
the main event, he wrestles for the title, and he should win.
Wow, he should say you know what, and then you know what,
leave it and then say you know what, I'm gonna I'm gonna retire anyway
and relinquish the belt. How hard is that? It's unreal? You know,
their egos when they're ye ends and business and pans and we have ideas
that we want to move forward. You also got two world Championship belts.
You couldn't spare one for the big old one that never meant anything unless he
had it, Like I mean what I mean that would have been that would
have been the most compelling television. Yeah, that's a good point. I
think what happened was this became a monster that they didn't quite plan on.
You can't forget there was a period of time where the edict was Rick could
not talk for more than ten seconds on the microphone. Remember that period where
they literally weren't letting him talk. It's like and and and then you wonder
why he was such a fucking revelation in Tnah a place. Yeah, they
cut him loose. I mean, you know, he wasn't gonna color in
the lines, and they were very much about that, like message control and
the mic. Back then, they would carefully script everybody would say, and
you would be rewarded and you would be you know, it was it was
a merit in your category if you could deliver the lines perfectly. So that's
what they were looking for. So it's so disgusting, Yeah, it really
is. It's like and you know, they they didn't want I don't think
personally that they wanted the Flair retirement to be as big as it ended up
being. I know, I don't think I agree. I mean, again,
they or at least they they dropped it at least because again it seemed
like a big idea when it was announced in What the Fall, I think
something like that. Yeah, and it seemed like a big idea. But
then I think they now if I heard, if I was reading between the
lines when Pritchard was talking about it correctly, I think they started it without
a destination. I don't think they knew how long they were going to go
for it. I don't think they saw it as one of the key matches
at Many against somebody of Ric Flair's caliber, you know, Sean Michael's caliber.
Sorry, I just don't understand what the fuck they're thinking. You know,
you and I have always said this about Rick Flair, even during this
period. You've got one of the greatest wrestlers under contract and you never fucking
use him. And it was so discouraging because you know, I mean,
I'm not saying Flair was at anywhere near his his peak in the ring,
but he still could go. I mean, the Shawn Michael's match was was
beyond decent, surely better than his fucking last match, right, you know,
I mean it just really, uh, well, here it comes.
I friend, Flair loses, he's forced to retire, and you know they
have the set, they have that traditional hard camera MSG entrance way with the
fans understand, don't you clearly don't have to do it that way. Wrestling
and twenty proves it right, and whenever they go to raw, whenever they
did raw, do raw or SmackDown in the garden, it's always the regular
thing. I never understood. I mean, I guess, I guess you're
getting more people. Obviously, yeah you're not. You're not killing seats with
the stage and ship, but it's systeways seemed weird to me, like,
well, why like or if you're going to do it that way, do
it the way all the time. I remember the first time I did it
wrestleming Ya ten, I was so uncomfortable. Oh god, yeah, it's
and you know to hear like Pritchard bitch about like he didn't like the look
of the set. It's like, guys, you had so many options,
like why did you do it that way? Then? So there's no set,
it's no set. All it is is a fucking wall with a door.
You know, there's no real set to it. But every time they've
done MSG since WrestleMania ten, not like for a pay per view outside of
WrestleMania, that's what they've done and you don't like it. I don't like
it. It's very uncomfortable. I like. I don't like it because it
just, yeah, I like I like having the ramp. I like it
being I don't like seeing it back there. It's just really yeah, pretty
I were saying. One of the hates is like you can see people that
have nothing to do with the match, but you have to walk around there
for production purposes exactly. You can see people shuffling around and I don't know,
to me, it kind of makes it a little more lively in almost
more real. I feel like the garden setting kind of it makes it less
like I'm watching some like fantasy World and more like I'm watching a sport happening
with spectators and people acting normally in the background. To me, that's like,
I mean, there is an element of that. I also don't like
it because it feels like it's so close. I know that it's not crazy
close, but because of the zoomed in shot from the hard camera, it
feels like it's like right there. It feels like it's like a smaller walkway
than when they have the ramp. Yeah, they talk about probably be a
smaller walkway, but it's it's definitely longer than it looks on screen. You
know, if you consider where you know, I'm thinking about the garden,
and it's like, you know, they came in. I mean, they
basically came in. I wonder if this has got something to do with it
too. They basically they came in ish from around where the locker rooms are,
and I wonder if that's the thing. Maybe they fucking wanted to be
in the Nickson Rangers locker room. Maybe yeah, maybe that was it.
I don't know, but it was like, yeah, they talk about his
first match being December tenth, nineteen seventy two in Race Lake, Wisconsin.
Yeah, I got Michael talking about that shit. I'm December nineteen seventy two,
Rick Flayer made his in ring debut in Rice Lake, Wisconsin. He
battled George Getaskey to a ten minute troll. Well tonight thirty five years one
look and seventeen days later mark the end of the Nature Boys career. You're
a crown And what was George Kadaski's nickname? What cunt face cut face?
Yep. I can't believe that they would refer to him that way. Oh
scrap iron it was ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, you got it. Face.
They don't even call him George cunt Face Kadaski. They just call him
cunt face one day. Sometimes in some in some territories they call him the
cunt face that come in the mask mask of like a dirty pussy, a
mask of one. Again. That's I want to make sure I heard that.
That's pretty pussy. That's gonna even just like a just a nasty,
you know, yeasted pussy. Oh, Kadasky is going to the new tin
Hornbaker book on Flair. Was one of verne Gania's most trusted employees. Oh,
I'm sure, and so uh since Kaski I do like Kevin, uh,
I like havin cunt Face around, he would match him up with his
greenest of rookies. All right, all right, so everybody had their run
with a scrap iron. He was his uh uh brad rangings of the day.
Yeah right, essentially, Yeah, for sure. But this is this
is also from the book. Let's see Paterra was hyped. Mm hmm.
Perhaps it was ginde as ideal to bop his new star by touting his initial
bout all over the territory as a promotional tactic strop attention either that. Okay,
this confusion about when Ken Petera debuted Ken Petero was somebody else that Vern
trained up for the business coming off the Olympics. This confusion actually complicates the
details of Flair's own pro debut, and as much as Petera's first match was
glorified and misreported, it was the complete opposite for the former Wayland Academy that
being Ric Flair athlete. The complication stems from the fact that nearly every source,
including his own personal biography, claims that Rick Flair made his probe debut
his first pro appearance December tenth, nineteen seventy two, Rice Lake, Wisconsin.
His opponent was Kadski, as noted, and he went to a ten
minute draw. But Gania didn't promote Rice Lake on that date, oh,
but instead Minneapolis, and Kadski was the opponent of George Scott on that night.
Brother least that's what the Minneapolis Tribune reported. Hornbacker writes the Rice Lake
show was on December eleventh, and the local newspaper stated that Gadaski wrestled Petera,
not Flair. Not only that, but the Rice Lake Chronotype newspaper featured
a photo of a wrestler, supposedly Petera, hoisting Kodaski up for a slam.
Although the grappler is turned away from the camera, his body shape and
hairstyle matches Petera more than Flair Wow and seemed to prove further that the late
latter's first match didn't happen on that occasion. If Flair didn't have his first
matches reported, when did he really make his debut. The entire situation is
muddied by inaccurate, real time reporting and inconsistent facts that have lingered for decades.
While there is no definitive answer, there are several possibilities. There's a
small chance Flare wrestling Cadski in a brief contest in Rice Lake on December eleventh,
that, when unreported by the local newspaper, it would have been Gadaski's
second match that night, and while unusual, it wasn't unheard of. Another
possibilities at Flare wrestled Cadski in a random small town in either Minnesota or Wisconsin,
and an account of the match has gone undiscovered by historians for the last
fifty years, but it should be recognized that some rural towns didn't have dailier
weekly newspapers, and if that was the case here, any search for contemporaneous
proof of his debut will forever be in vain. So you tell me,
folks, but it's repeated here. Nineteen seventy two, flarees out in a
yellow and gold robe and Jonathan Coachman and Michael Coher at ringside announcing things for
Raw, they for SmackDown. They had the Raw team, the SmackDown team,
and yes, Boss, the ECW team of course. Awful. Coach
says, nature boy, what's going through his body right now? I can't
imagine whatever it takes to get up for the match exactly. You know,
I'll tell you I don't know. I in terms of look, I know
he can certainly move better, but in terms of his actual look and appearance,
he doesn't look much better than he did the other week on AAW when
he got beat up there Rick Rick, Oh, come on, I don't
think it looks that much in terms of I mean, he's out there with
no shirt on. You know, he in terms of work, in terms
of his like moveability, but like I'm talking about his face, well yeah,
yeah, the face didn't change much. That's true. He's a disaster.
This is like when that hair first started to thin. Yep, this
is and he started when he when he started like wetting his hair before coming
to the ring. That's where the problems started with like the squirt gun.
Yeah, yeah, you know, like he had this like the problems slipped
back hair, you know, like as if he's a fucking you know,
mafia goomba. You can see so much of his scalp. Yeah exactly.
I mean there's and then and then, and then he just gave up on
that, you know, on wetting it, and it just became that matted
disaster. I was thinking of you when Sting had his last match and yeah,
he submitted one of the young bucks and then put his hand through his
hair, and oh did it fall off right away? So how can you
put your hand through that fucking hair? Yeah, it's like it kind of
like you want to run your hands through it, but it like stops short.
Is that like you can't actually put your fingers through it because it's just
like the wall is created Steve Borden, you picked him without face painting that
hair. I wonder if I wonder if you'll actually stop dying it and let
it now that he's not tired unless you let it go gray or white and
right, have some normal fucking body to it instead of that awfulness the bob
the bob like and that and that just it just looks so stiff, so
stiff and uncomfortable, and so Flair grabs the mic and they all woo and
Flair gives him one and he says, I want to tell you once again
what a great honor it has been to have all these years wrestling in Madison
Square Garden. You got to have him say it absolutely. I want to
tell you once again what a great honor it has been wrestle all these years
in Madison Square Gardens. They say, there's no place like it anywhere in
the world. Almost have to agree. I had my first match year in
March of nineteen seventy six, long before most of you were born. And
I have to tell you, I have to tell you that the level of
respect that you have paid me all these years is unbelievable. That really was
is goodbye to the garden. Yeah, yeah, ever wrestled in the building
again as far as I know. Yeah, and and yeah, that was
another thing. They really underdid, and they did it with stinging to an
aw. They underdid this is my last time in this city. Ye didn't
promote it a lot ahead of time that this was the last time you had
Superric Flair wrestle. It's like, come on, probably they could leave their
options open if they didn't want to deliver it. But but he talked about
that debut. It took place during that really curious time where Vince Senior got
back with the NWA, and you know there were supercards where the WWWF champion
and the NBA champion will wrestle each other, like you know Backland and Race
or Graham and Race. And yep, the funks even came through, as
we talked about in the Lapsed Funk, for just a couple of shots when
there was that that alliance going on. And yeah, Ric Flair was coming
up under Verne of course, and then went over to Carolina to Charlotte mid
Atlantic and that's where the connect was to get him to come up to the
Garden. Dusty was coming through of course, working on top with Superstar,
as were a host of others. Kurt Henning was there before he was ever
Kurt Henning well he was. You get my point, So Teddy Biassi,
all these guys who wanted to be superstars at the Hasbro era had these like
matches in the garden like fifteen years before when they were like skinny nobody's And
here's a little sense of Flair taking the ring against Pete Sanchez in nineteen seventy
six. Is reference play on that run over went a part of Ric Flair
super flex. The man hear that ring, it's all over. So Rick
Flair, well a bit whoa Victoria is there in Modison Square dark, very
tough match, very tough. Maagine, dude, let's take a look at
Acty so only a moment ago. Here Rick Flair putting the finishing touch on
Pete Sanchez. Up pile go imagine the ordinary neck Greggor crashing down to the
campus. Let's go up and get do a fisher work Leetimer West Nick Rands
at ten minutes twenty one seconds, the winner, Thank you boy, Nick
Cla, doctor boy, Rick Flair. I mean, I think the most
surreal thing is hearing Vince Mrickman called Ric Flair match in nineteen seventy six,
that's exactly right. I mean, he was just like to be commenting on
Ric Flair before he was anywhere near you know, the owner of the territory
and king Maker, just observing Flair like he observed just anybody else who came
through the garden in the business wild do that actor Seymour Castle did re announcing
work absolutely as he did. He saw a lot more than Castle. And
that neck breaker Vince referred to that Flair finished him with was a vertical suplex,
of course, but you heard the rattle of the msg ring. God,
it's like sucking building blocks just fucking collapsed. So I was looking,
you know, obviously, I just was like doing a quick skim to see
if I could find any kind of coverage of a Rick Flair match. Not
not that I'm saying Hornecker didn't do any fucking solid well, of course,
but you got it. But I'm always like it was, I'm let's see
if I can find But you know what I did find because and this is
what I find to be weird. So so he he grew When did he
move out of He was in Minnesota for a long time, right mmmm,
like during like early like before he gatually he debuted with a with uh in
Ververn's camp there he did, yeah, seventy three. I think either way,
what I'm when I'm seeing here is that there was a a theater director
named Richard Fleer spelled the same way in Minneapolis who was directing a play starring
a guy named Oscar Backlund. Well, the Backland one surprised me. But
you didn't know that Rick Flair's dad was a theater owner. I did not
know that in addition to being a physician, he indeed was, and he
was a Richard Flair. That's him, that's him. Ah, I did
not know that. This is news to me. And his mom was a
big I think a concert pianist or something. She was like a big theater
person too. I had no fucking idea. I don't know how much of
this was known. I mean he talked about in this book, but I
don't know how much was known before the Hornbaker book did what you're doing right
now, which is, yeah, really dig into Minnesota newspapers to find you
know, his parents' public profile before he became Ric Flair. That's crazy.
Yeah, they were like local theater people. No shit kind of explains a
lot, doesn't it. It does, Actually, it does there's like I
can see the kind of the showmanship then like kinda he's very because he's just
very theatrical. He really is. He has that showmanship like from just naturally.
It seems like just like an instinct. So here comes m VP.
That is Rick Flair's opponent here for his last match in MSG. A notice
I cut that out of the clip. I was not gonna suffer through that
again. One two. You hear the clock ticking, TikTok, you're about
to stop living. One two, buckle my shoe, TikTok. I want
you to remember me, TikTok, but the day don't have no memory.
I'm coming. I'm coming, brother, Bro, will you whoa whoa whoa
whoa? Dude? Whoa coming for? What exactly? Dude? Brother?
What are you coming for? Dude? Where are you coming? Dude?
I'm just I'm trying to get an idea of exactly what's going on right now?
Brother? Yeah, that was that goes out saying Terry, that's about.
That's kind of like your status quo is wondering what's going on, but
you know he has to announce it every fucking time. Dude. I'm just
trying to get you know, I'm just trying to put one two in front
of each other, all right, dude, kind of get you know,
Crynico from point A to point B. Figure out exactly what the fuck is
going on? And then then you come at me with this theme song,
dude, coming at me, wide open by the way, coming at me,
brother, And one to two you hear the clock ticking, and I'm
like, I'm hul Hogan, like, dude, wow, what clock?
Like what's why is it ticking? Like? Why why am I being time?
Brother? Exactly? Dude? You know, are you like clocking exactly
how far? How long it takes me against someplace? Dude? Or you
you know? What's I guess what I'm trying to ask, really, dude,
is why is that your theme song? Brother? I just want to
know what the dizz is? Brother? Right? Did you have a conversation
with Vince about making that your theme song? Dude? I got the you
know, m v PiZZ and say enviz PiZZ the m viz PiZZ brother,
And I'm like, I don't even know, you know, I don't know
where this guy is coming from. But all I know is that now,
all of a sudden in his theme song, he says he's going for Hult
Hogan. That's all I know. You can't blame me, but that's being
all line know. I mean, you know, you can call me Paranald
all you like, brother. But he put it in his song. He
said, I'm coming for Hulk Hogan. That's a rib like it just you
know, they play the song Hogan's in the company, maybe he's in the
rumble, Okay, Hogan's in the ring, and then MVP's music plays and
it goes, I'm coming for Hulk Hogan something like that. You see you
see that that kind of you know, when he's when he's been in the
ring, when Hogan's been in the ring a little bit, and so his
hair is, oh, sweaty hair, and he's like, he like,
here's that and he like jerks his head too. The camera's like his hair
and in the sweat flies from it. Y's a normal human noise. I
don't really understand why that would be a thing. But so outcomes MVP.
At the time, he was the United States champion with his chain and he
has a real chain on and his T shirt is has a chain printed on
it too. Roughly Charles Robinson from smackdowns. I never I never understood I
never understood the appeal of MVP at all. I never dug him. I
never. I think he's more interesting now. Is he still there in the
company or is he gone? I don't even know, you know, it's
been a long time. I don't know if he's still working for them or
not. When they turned lashly face, he was kind of sol But I
I liked him better in that in that regard than I ever did. Or
he's a good talker, he's a good talker. He's fine. Yeah,
I just don't care. Like there's nothing he's ever done that's made me care
about him. Yeah, he's supposed to be like this, this like blue
chip like recruit, you know, blue chip recruit. Yeah, like this.
He was supposed to be like this hot free agent that everybody wanted.
And he was somebody that you know, carried himself like a like the number
one pick in the NFL draft. You know, that was kind of like
his gimmick. But I guess, yeah, I just I'm like, there's
nothing about him that sees that makes me see value. Yeah. No,
I don't think he's I don't think he's wonderful. I don't think he's bad
either. He's a good talker and he's a good worker. It's fine.
Guys with those combinations should have a place in the business. I agree.
But they just put him on like these high profile angles and then they gave
him a loser gimmick. Yeah, and they fell in and out of love
with him over the years, for sure, definitely. Ah, I just
yeah. So coach says MVP wants to increase his career with a wind tonight.
I suppose that would be the opposite of what Flair, the position Flair
finds himself in. I guess he would. Yeah, I guess he's decreasing
a career. It's like I immediately remembered all the reasons why, Like it
was never going to work for Coachman on commentary. Now he's just he's not
good. So Cole says MVP will learn about passion here tonight. Ah.
I see. So it kicks off the two thousand and eight rumble that is,
are they busy? I don't understand he's getting late or something. Yeah.
I don't know what that was supposed to mean. I don't know if
it played out before our eyes or after the cameras around something like that.
Sure, yeah, I mean we need to hold open the possibility, especially
now let me know the truth of that company. Oh especially the and yes
in a post nine to eleven America as well. Right, that's a good
point I think of that speaking of New York, right, yeah, yeah,
I can't believe we went this long without talking about the fact that this
was seven years after nine to eleven. So relevant. Oh yeah, that's
what I love when you just kind of cash of course. Yeah, that's
a very good point. So KNT cant not. Oh man, I'm going
to deploy it strategically. VP in Miami Hurricanes colors for what it's worth as
Flare dances and circles a bit and struts with his hands through what's left of
his hair and uh lock up, push off, tackle down, goes Flair.
Got to get those fundamentals in early. Yeah, let's get spots that
right before the point of impact. Somebody claps, that's right, you know,
and you know a Flare when he when he when he kind of does
the circle around, he always slaps both shoulders, get the blood flowing.
M VP does that ball in like jump shot hand motion. After he drops
Flare on the tackle. Flare enters with a wou lock up to the corner.
They break under, saying, so he's so he's he's a football player,
but he's a basketball player. It's true. He's like an all all
points athlete. He played. Does he ever? Does he ever do baseball
as well? And soccer? Yeah? Don't you remember that raw where he
came out in a full catcher's uniform. Look at my fucking Norman Smiley with
a knuckleball Schwartz coming out first. So yeah, sm So coach says,
increase again as regards m VPS prospects, and his voice trails off again,
almost cluelessly. As you can tell Vince is just barking in his ear.
God, shut up, coachman Solitch, say say your lines, Pal,
say what I tell you to say, dammit. And at first I thought
it was just col and Coach doing the whole show. And then you look
down and you can see j R's cowboy hat. He's there, everybody.
I mean, the royal rumblin sound is a fucking shit show. Six guys,
six guys. I mean that's like where Big Show goes for a lunch.
That's not Yeah, he definitely needs an extra guy. Ah right.
Well, let's look, do I need any more evidence than that of six
guys Burger? I believe before he placed the order. Uh, the the
emit hants was ah right, because that's tell you. That's how you let
them know you're really hungry. So lunch trivia aside Cole and Cole says Rick
Flair is a global spokesman for this industry. Fuck all right, Michael Ohe
needs you to be a favor and you gotta say that Rick Flair is a
global spokesman. I don't care what just don't don't ask questions, just say
it to say he's a global spokesman for for entertainment properties. Right in case
people are wondering what what's meant by that, say he's a global spokesman for
entertainment properties. He's also a global spokesman for fucking cannabis and uh and also
he's a global sportsman, a spokesman, a global sportsman, that's true.
Yeah, for for entertainment products and the lottery in cannabis and popped up energy
drinks and fucking and way oh god, have you seen when he opens the
thing and he goes, who can we not? Can we not? Let
pass the fact that we were able to discover how Rick Flair says wings and
it sounds like this wing. You know, Conrad needs to take better care
of his look. I don't see a problem with him wearing shoes without socks
all day every day. Right, Oh my god, we don't want to
see his ankles shriveled up like brittle bone. Flair he took a knee to
the head in the Sting retirement match and lay there dead for the rest of
the match. It probably was for a moment. Ah, God, this
Conrad said there was nothing he wanted more than a turn heel on Sting one
last time in his last match. I have no doubt about it. Of
the nuts, that's what the final nitro. That's what WW came down to.
It's like, how can we, you know, really pay tribute to
what WW meant? Well, I mean, if you want to really distill
it down, it's Rick Flair screaming Sting for fucking twenty five years, beat
red face. He's on so much cocaine. Who I'm taking that one all
the way. They go to bring some woo Wings to Philly, Yeah,
that would be a good idea. Actually, we'll hear a lot of wooings
at itself before crowd always doing a wooing. Hopefully no booing, that's true,
man, I don't know. So all of that is to say,
Rick Flair is a global spokesman for this industry who we will fire because we
don't allow him to talk. Quite a spokesman who will fire because he's he's
loaded on a two K panel. Here's the thing, Rick, listen,
I love you, you know, you know I'm going way back nineteen seventy
six even, but you know, here's the thing. The fact is is
that you're just I think you're just you're losing it on the mic, all
right, Like you just don't have it anymore. You know, when you're
out there, you say a few words every now and again, and it's
just not deliverable. A picture of Vince like the character and happy Madison.
You suck, you suck while he's trying to talk. So yeah, MVP
slaps Flair in the corner and Flare chops and punches away, drops him with
a chop headlock push off tackle. Flare on the move now into the drop
toe hold of MVP, and MVP weights and waits and then hits a running
Akouza kick and a neckbreaker for two. Flair comes up chopping MVP with a
snapmare. They figure out how to do an MVP sucks chant, even though
yeah, it's not the easiest thing. It's yeah, it definitely is not.
But it means enough to them that they figure it out, don't they
They do, they do. You got to give that New York crowd credit
for that, Coaches, Ric Flair is the epitome of what sports entertainment is
all about. That's what That's how I always thought about them. That's his
legacy sports entertainment. Cole runs down the countries that are watching tonight is Ric
Flair is the star of the world over exactly and again, so weird to
hear Vince talking now through the vessels that are Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman.
It's just so much more obvious now for some reason to me, Oh god,
I agree. Actually, like watching this show, I was like,
holy shit, Yeah, these guys are not sentient beings. They're no,
they're just they're stand ins. They are vessels for verbiage. Yeah, you
heard Vince call the Flair match in seventy six, that's pretty much. That's
what it is, right, except he's forcing others to say it, and
he has, you know, a larger menu of things he wants to hit
because so much has happened and he owns the whole company. But further to
that point, I think what's also happened is we've watched now like a full
year plus of WWE without Vincent announcer's ears, and we realize how different it
actually sounds. Yeah, And when you go especially with Cole, like you
compare Michael Cole in particular, it's like there is something he is drastically withholding
himself here. He seems to be enthusiastic actually about the whole fucking what he
does. Oh he loves it. Yeah, Like he actually seemed enthusiastic,
right, and he had that in him all this time? Who knew?
Right? But I remember all I remember is is someone that there was a
yes, yes, sir mister McMahon right, Well, I know that,
But there was some DVD where you could access alternate commentary hmm and for the
match, and it was Mick Foley and Michael Cole, and I have heard
I remember hearing that it was just like Michael Cole was amazing. I like
this period, I've never heard about it, about this Michael Cole was just
like he was just loathed, loathed because he just sucked so much. But
then you've heard him, like you heard him off the you know, without
free Reign, and all of a sudden, he's like, yeah, he's
actually a great he's actually a great commentator. Well, he actually cares about
the matches like you would think, like they made him seem like somebody who
was just there to deliver marketing messages, right, And that's fine. If
the guy really doesn't have an affinity for wrestling and really couldn't muster enthusiasm,
it's still not fine, but you get my point. It's at a more
understandable. But the fact that he was a guy who actually could call wrestling
matches with passion and had it in him to deliver lines that you would remember,
like I never expected that from this guy. Yep. But as the
years went he figured out ways to make calls. They were like, all
right, that was Wrestlemanium worthy there right there. Sure, the way you
frame that closing scene, you know, the way he called Bianca versus Sasha
that year and stuff, it's like that's pretty good. Yeah, yeah,
what do you call he did? He did the Daniel Bryan thing. That
was great, Russ many thirty, Yes he did, Yes, he did.
He rose to the occasion. So anyway, Flaire tries to figure four
but gets kicked off. Another attempt at inside cradle is botched big time.
It is not the finest inside cradle off a figure four attempt you've ever seen.
No, it's not. It gets too Cole says, MVP is perhaps
a better conditioned athlete, and there's no doubt that's event saying that a better
conditioned athlete, He says, just like that with his glasses down by his
nose, by lamplight at gorilla. What does he say again? Make sure,
Cole, make sure you say that MVP is a is a better conditioned
athlete. Talk about his conditioning and how he's a conditioner. He's got a
bottle of head and shoulders. He's a better conditioned athlete. Yeah. Corner
to corner, whit players backdropped out of the corner, a running boot scores
and flare does a flare flop goes for a cover. They woo as he
gets his foot on the rope as Charles Robinson still slap three. I don't
know if that was on purpose or not, but yeah, yeah, uh
yes, just back when the referees and I think they still are, we're
encouraged to count three. If the guys failed to kick out. Yeah,
you wouldn't get any heat, of course you really, of course you would,
but they just wanted to avoid that awkward ref holds the two up for
no reason. Yeah, like a fucking Rock and Angle at no way out
in two thousand and one exactly, Yes, good example. So it's one
of the most embarrassing one time. I'm so glad you remember that because Rock
is so pissed, is he really? I don't remember this? Yeah,
because like he and he's like so pissed, and so he does the exact
same fucking sequence that he did before and then gets the pin. Oh my
god, you can just see it in his face. He's just furious.
Oh I remember, right, because he's supposed to win the match, the
title, right, He's supposed to win the title and the match like,
yeah, I remember this now, and like Angle didn't move, his shoulder
didn't move, and I don't know who it was. It must have been
Hebner and Hebner fucking didn't register the three count Rock is furious? Right he
thought Angle was supposed to kick out? Yeah, right, right for some
reason. Yeah, that that's what happens, by the way, when the
uh, the basics, the basic structure of every single pay per view matches,
Let's kick out of each other's finisher at a certain point, exactly.
You run that risk, you know. But something tells me if you kicked
out of the finisher twice a year, if only once a year, the
ref would never get it wrong. Course he did it at a specific show,
right, you know, if he did it WrestleMania when it mattered,
they would not they would not mistake this is the night when someone kicks out
of it. But when it happens every single month, then it's kind of
kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it kind of law too or smack down?
Right? Yeah, I say I think about that, So, yes,
I totally remember that one. Now that's a good one. So MVP
gets in Charles Robinson's face about that whole thing and Flare rolls him up for
two. And then if he close lines him down and gets a two,
can I know, Well, hey, he did it? What do you
mean brother, who's who's rolling up for two? Dude? Michael Cole assigns
kudos to Charles Robinson for letting the match continue even though he was the one
that completely blew the the count, Like, why are you going to give
kudos to the guy who counted three when he shouldn't have? But anyway,
MVP with the Butterfly Suplex gets to and Michael Cole asks, does it begin
to feel like we're watching the last match of Ric Flair's career? And all
Jonathan Coachman can say is I certainly hope not, and he leaves it there,
says nothing else. He's speaking in about four or five sentence phrases,
and that's it. Yes, Yes, Flair's perched on the top rope a
middle rope superplex by MVP Rocks the nature boy that gets to of course,
Flares well on his way to bumping in the fucking money in the bank and
shit, so he had already done that, but yeah, my point that
already but he's you know, so it was a middle rope super pleax didn't
have the the oom if you might have fought in two thousand and eight for
Flair taking it, so they replay the moment with the foot on the rope
earlier Jonathan Coach, who says, it's obvious the MVP will do anything to
win this match. That's obviously Vanski pauses, and then he says in Rick
Flair will do anything to not have his career come to an end. I
mean you could actually hear the pregnant pauses as he's trying to listen to what
Vince is telling him to say. Now, hold on, I've got a
I've got a couple. I'm producing my announcer. Damn it, I got
a here. So Coach, your line is its great is wrestling is what
it is. But I fell in love with this kid. I don't know
about you. Is MVP will do anything he can to win and hold on,
wait wait wait, wait wait say that now say that now, fucking
say it all right? Stops off, wait wait wait wait wait wait say
anything else yet, and then hold on, hold on, damn it,
what I said? Shot all right? And then say wait, yeah,
Rick Flair will do We'll do whatever he can to to to not to to
to not have to force himself into a retirement situation. Leave it nice and
easy to remember and the match is fucking over by the time he's done telling
Jonathan Coachman what to say. So m VP slaps Flare, heet him up
in a fireman's carry and Flair is supposed to drop down behind him, but
he just falls on his ass whip to the corner. They butt heads and
both at the canvas. Flare shoots a chop inside cradle gets two two.
I wonder if I do wonder you know, you definitely saw in in here,
like some some sloppiness at the end here, especially even leading into wrestlating.
But I do I wonder, I really wonder if he if there had
been some enthusiasm, some like real focus about about this this retirement run,
that it it that he that he would not have made these kinds of mistakes,
that he would have been a little more. I don't know. I
mean, you can't control you know, you know, your the way your
body withers away as you get older. But I just I feel like a
lot of this has to do with, you know, that classic Flair feeling
worthless type thing. Yeah, yeah, his lack of confidence could be he
didn't blow anything in the Shawn Michael's match from what I remember, so oh
he absolutely did. Oh my god, he did. But he did h
the bridge, the bridge out here. It's a tough call. That's a
stupid idea. I mean he should have. I mean again, I feel
like there's so much that he could have done it if it had been done,
if if they cared. Wow. Wow. So Backslide gets due and
then MVP fires out with a punch. Michael Cole says he believes MVP just
truck Wick Flair right in the Adams Apple. That's definitely Vince talking. No
one else would say that on Planet Earth. I think, you know,
I think it's better if we go a little more detailed than just a throat
thrust talk about the the the Adams Apple. Can you do that please?
If you insist, I mean, it's it's the weirdest fucking thing, but
I'll say it. MVP then tries the playmaker and Flair counters with a figure
four. It's locked out and patented, and what do you know, m
VP taps to the figure four, one of the rarities, absolutely one of
the rare taps. And they say that's won Flair Championship after championship, and
I'm thinking, no, no, I mean, he isn't that how he
won the second belt against Savage? Yes? Other than that zero times,
I mean, he certainly didn't beat I don't know how he beat Dusty Rhodes
first first championship. Uh wasn't that a top rope cross body block? I
believe well that was I it's hardy race. I don't know about Oh,
but I think it was Dusty too. I think he beat Dusty with the
top rope cross body So we know that happened next time he won, excluding
all the losses international ones he got? Was it was it? Uh?
Eighty six? Was it? Was it fucking thirty seven? Rather? Yeah?
Well he lost the belt, but there's that count when he lost to
Dusty but didn't lose it to Dusty? Does that now? Was a breach
of the thing? Okay? So? But then so we lost it to
uh Ron? Ye? Did he beat him with it? No? I
think he howd he beat him? Incade? Yeah? I don't remember.
I don't remember either. It was a figure for I feel like it was
a top rope thing again. Hmm, let's see it all right? All
right? Finish like they're gonna show me just a finish. I'll get it
here. Stand by everybody, and then he holds it until he loses it
to sting. Does he hold it that long? Really? Yeah? He
does, Yeah he doesn't. And that's a that's a fucking you know,
that's a roll up all right inside cradle. And then next time he loses
it, it's a strip from him. Oh yeah, that's right. He
hot shots Garving into the cage. He runs him backwards and then pins him
one, two, three, yeah, yep. And then obviously the rumble
and then this that yees. So I'm gonna say the first one was savage,
the only one. Yeah, I think, I'm pretty sure the only
one title after title. I don't know what they're talking about. Yeah,
maybe they mean the US title. Maybe. Anyway, they're up for Flair.
They like that finish Flare's career, still alive and well, and he's
he cries because he gets to live for another day. That's right, Flair
scientists Claire will never die. That was true. Yeah, yeah, well
uh, and then Coach sets up Michael Cole for one. You know,
we talked about some bad ones. Here's not a really fucking bad one.
Michael as standing ovation and the world's most famous arena for the world's most famous
sports entertainer. What this is a great line. This is the best wrestling
to people. There are people out there we heard from PAV. I mean
this is their childhood. This is Michael Cole parroting Vince on the headset Jonathan
Coachman on the call. Listen. You can't say he's a wrestler, say
he's the most famous sports entertainer. If you don't do it, Cole,
I will shoot you in the head. Actually, I'll start with your with
your wife. Yeah, I'll tell you what. I've got your wife right
here, she's next to me. I have a gun pointed at her head.
Do you want her to die? Or do you want to say wrestling?
Or do you want to say sport? That Rick Flair is the most
famous sports entertainer. I'm waiting. I am waiting. It's your call,
Cole. Literally that sounds like my decision really to some MVP hassles with Charles
Robinson in the I away over his foot on the rope and all that,
and Flair emotional looking around kissing him as the rope when you figure for your
dumb ass kissing MSG goodbye is the nature boy and and apparently MVP in June
beats Flair with the Playmaker had beaten Flair and with a Night of Champions,
so they were like playing that up big anyway, Congrats to Ric Flair,
Who're going to fight another day, Vinces with Hornswoggle. Oh yes he is.
I've got this whole thing for you. Looks like Ric Flair's continues,
right. But speaking of luck, that would bring us tonight, that would
bring us to the look of the Irish. When you think about the Irish
and Madison Square Garden, you have to go all the way back to my
grandfather who promoted in the previous Madison Square Garden. To my dad, one
of the all time great promoters and Hall of famers to me and of course
them to other members of my family. When did his dad start promoting again,
I want to say, like forty eight in the New York area.
Yeah, so his dad also was in the old Madison Square Garden. This
is this yeah, yeah, it was built in the nineteen sixties, so
okay, yeah, for sure, yeah he was, Which would now bring
me to you, my only bastard son. We think that's true these days,
I don't know, oh h. As the days go on and your
participation in the Royal Rumble. You realize it's every man for himself, and
you realize that you can't trust anyone, and I mean anyone you can't even
trust. You can't even trust Findley. You can't trust a soul out there.
But I expect you to win. You get that, Huh, you're
my son, your last thing is but man, I expect you to win.
Well prep talking, Yeah, just kind of getting it on you,
explaining you know that you know you can't trust anybody out there. That's where
it's kind of extreme. Explained to the young man. He's kind of kept
me all excited to your last names. He is nervous. You can't trust
anyone. Hey, what exactly do you mean by that? What I mean
by that is that you can't trust the little guy make turn on you out
there, Royal rumble. Well keep that in mind. Good luck to go
to you. You forget you forgot butt heead. So that's the noise that
a child I guess is he supposed to be a child? Is that?
I mean? I don't, I mean he's supposed to be a leprechaun?
Yeah? Is that the noise a leprechaun makes? I guess also sounds like
like an eager animal breaks like a like a dog excited to see its food.
Imagine this guy growing up in Wisconsin, Dylan Postel, and it comes
down to him looking at Vince backstage at MSG with the cameras rolling and looking
at me in the eye, going you're my son. Yep, you are
my illegitimate child. You have been born from illegitimate sperm that was taken from
me by another woman. What was really confusing was everything on WWTV is illegitimate.
So what does it really mean for Vince to say that Hornswaggle is his
illegitimate son. Well, I mean, I guess the illegitimacy has canceled themselves
out right and illegitimate child, right, So perhaps Hornswaggle is Vince's only legit
child if we use the logic, maybe you are the son of Linda.
Maybe maybe legitimacy runs in your blood. Doubtful. So we get our establishing
shot of the Empire state building, and yes we do. JR. Is
on the call now, Thank God, Yes, thank Christ. But oh
man, oh, he's going to introduce us to one of the biggest disasters
of the two thousands. What would that be. What is it, Jim,
We're excited to not to introduce to the newest member of the w W
broadcast team, an oak friend of ours when we're NFL running back. We've
got to know of this man at during our XFL days back for a network
broadcaster. Where do you allowed to say? XFL isn't a taboo word at
this point? I guess not. Please, welcome to the ww Mick at
him, Hey, Jr. And King, it's good to be reunited once
again. And how about it for the nature boy Rick Flair? Congratulations.
I'm pitching myself to see if I'm awake because I saw his very first match
back in nineteen seventy six right here in Madison Square Garden. Unbelievable. Hey,
where would you rather be than right here now? Spectacular crowd, unbelievable
electricity and electric is a perfect word to describe the issues between Chris Jericho and
JB L. Their rivalry has become very very personal. Take a look what
nothing. I thought? It was great, very excited, very excited to
have Mike Adam Lee on the call. Do you think he saw Rick Flair's
first match in the garden? No? I think that's a. I think
what do they call that a lie? That is I think that is a
fabrication. Is that part of the entertainment portion of the broadcast? I don't
think so actually told I didn't seem like it. I cutly wasn't entertained by
it, you know, I mean, I mean, let's see here he
played well no, no, no, because he was playing for the Chicago
Bears in nineteen seventy six, so seventy five, and then it's in the
off season. I guess, yeah, I don't know. I don't think
he was there. I think that's a lie. I think that's something you
know, you you you tell your child when you want them to think better
of you, when you're really not a better person. He wanted to have
dementia and brain addled CT issues and everything. Did he did? He?
Really? Oh yeah? Oh no. Not a sad not a happy ending
for this guy. I mean, I hate to say it, and it's
going to sound really cruel, but it sounds like he has dementia. Then
it does make you look back on that time period and be a little more
gentle on him because he was just so bad, like he was awful,
was disconnected from how he was like he couldn't speak properly, you know,
like it was just like he kept flubbing up words like how do you do
that? How are you an announcer like on for the NFL, Like how
did you work at NBC Sports and flub line like that and like flub verbiage
like you can't do that. I don't think it did. I think that's
the point. Yeah, I mean it's a very he had dementia. That's
crazy. And he has dementia and he looks like Vince. That's another thing.
He kind of like he's kind of like a stand in for like I
don't know the general of WAW of Vince McMahon as the announced you know,
he looks like him to me, like he doesn't resemble him, like do
where you mistake him on the street for Vince. What I mean is,
ever since Vince left the booth, there was never like that guy like that
that had that presentation you know right right that he had and yep, and
they always love that host in the audience. It never worked for me,
like the Pet and Gale role. I never got what they were going for
with that, but I know they used to love that shit. Oh my
god. Like remember the Miz was the host too. Oh, and they
always have to do the host of WrestleMania watch award shows and they can't help
themselves, right, But it's like they don't do any hosting, like they
just they come out at the beginning. I may have a moment maybe later
on, but like, what are they hosting? Like they're not introducing the
matches like, honestly in a weird way, yeah, they should be.
They should be the ring announcer for for the wrestlma yac. That's the closest
thing to a host that wrestling has. Yeah, exactly. That'd be a
nice message to get if you're Samantha Irvin or Lily and Garcia or something.
Mike Rome, sorry guys, you guys, but we're gonna have the news.
It's a big show and we need a big host. And uh,
it's a big show and we need the big show. He's gonna host,
Mike Adam Lay And after he after he completely failed at this, they put
him in the announcemooth to call him matches I know, And then he failed
at that and then they made him broad general manager. Oh oh my god,
because if he's heat, right, I might as well making the heel
general manager so everyone can do. And he delivered the heel lines with the
exact same cadence as what you just heard, because he's just not that kind
of guy. No range, no acting skills, not no clue, no
clue clue none, tremendous stuff. Pal Oh and I'm he's so epileptic too?
Oh really? Oh no, yeah, I saw. He kind of
sounds like some of this had a seizure or two, doesn't he Yes,
he does. I can definitely. I would imagine he has seized. Problem
is he can't seize opportunities when they come. Yeah. Okay, so well
more from him later, unfortunately, so he pitched to the very personal rivalry
between JBL and Jericho. Jericho would just come back in November of seven.
Not it wasn't personal at all. Well, he called out, he said,
you know your kids are ashamed of you. What do you say about
his kids? He said, your daddy is gutless and spineless. Look at
that coward you call daddy. And and he hung him. He hung him
by his throat by the raw announcement, by the raw entrance set. Yeah,
which was a little, uh, a little too much. You know.
I mean, this is the year of ben Wah. Good point.
That's a good point too. I don't remember anybody who's saying that, but
that's a good point. Yeah. It was like it was like the second
y two J countdown. Yeah, yes, I remember. It's like all
blue and white and digital. Oh yeah, I was actually a big fan.
I liked this. I was I'll tell you what I remember. I
remember that when you were the one who told me number one that it was
going to be Jericho who came back with those weird Yeah, they started with
very generic videos where you really couldn't tell right away, and you were like,
this is Chris Jered, like you you knew it was Chris Jericho and
and then uh. I was really excited because I remember reading something where he
was quoted as saying, the only reason I'm going to come back is if
I is if I if I get a run with the belt. Yeah.
I was really excited because I'm like, holy shit, but I knew.
I knew that we were in for tribled times. The moment he challenged Randy
Orton right away, I was like, okay, I mean happening, so
all right, Yeah they're not They're not going to strap him up in his
first match. No, of course, not not when you're still running.
You know, you barely you barely even touched the Randy Orton experiment. That's
very it's very triple H. I'm not saying you had anything to do with
it, but smells like triple H to me. Aw, it's like,
yeah, and it seems like for a quick for a quick by rate or
whatever. It's like, you know, like an easy thing, like to
bring put the new guy in right away, and it's like, Okay,
make him feel like he's accomplishing something because he's in the pay per view made
event for the belt right away, right And that's just not it. I
mean, it's just not how it works. No, it just took him
reinventing himself to do it. And you know, yeah, and he had
to you know, swim upstream to get that turn. He didn't really,
that isn't how they programmed it. He he really pushed for it. And
then he started wearing the suit and we're off to the races yep, yep.
And he changed he changed the tights to the uh, you know,
the speedout trunks. Yep. Just completely all I need to say right,
boss is Jericho in a suit? Yeah? And then there you are?
Right? Ah. That was That was probably one of the last times I
was just so excited about right. Why why because he was just awesome?
He was great because because you know, this is the thing, Jericho,
We've said it a thousand times. He is the greatest at reinventing himself and
seeming fresh. Like, honestly, he's as he's almost he's almost making a
mockery of that now because he reinvents himself every three weeks. That's funny.
Yeah, he really does. But you know, at least you know,
during during this period, he was able to change the whole his whole thing
and become uh yeah, right, And that was the inspiration Winnipeg kid,
Is it really? I didn't know that. Yeah. I love that run
and those matches, like the whole and the way it was set up too.
It was set up so brilliantly and so subtly. Because this is why
I liked it too, because they had this incredible booking post Mania for Shawn
Michaels, Batista and Jericho, really good stuff. It was so good because
then you had you had Batista resenting Sean for retiring Flair, which was awesome,
and then you had and then after that Jericho came on for that.
He was a straggler on for that. It was so funny. And then
he traded like he kept trading with them between Batista and Jericho, uh uh
throughout the spring and early summer. And then at the very end it was
it was just hardcore Jericho. And then when Jericho won the belt, I
was like, I mean, I was so happy. I was. I
was very pissed off about the cmpunk scenario because I was like I was,
I was like really wanting him to be, you know, a long term
champion at the time, but I was also happy that what's them funk scenario?
Do you remember? So they had the that ridiculous concept the uh so
remember Punk he wins money in the bank, Punk one money in the bank
and he cashes in and wins, and he cashes in on Jericho. No,
no, no, Before Jericho had the belt, I forgot to be
cashing on he cashed whoever was world champion because he had the big gold belt.
Undertaker. No, I don't think so interesting. I remember I remember
who take or lost it to before that too. I'll look it up either
was it was it? Uh? I guess, I guess I am lapsed.
That was the last. That was the next year when he when he
beat he'd beat Jeff Hardiford and was booed because this time people were really were
really thrilled for it spelled money in the b A n K E right,
the bong the bunk, right, that's what it is. Of course,
after Baptista beat down Edge and won the title. What okay, Punk Cashen
twenty third for his first time in raw following the following week after the draft,
Punk cash is in money in the bank. After Batista beat down Edge
and won the title, making his first defense later that same night against JBL
who had challenged him shortly after his win. So I guess Punk wins the
belt and then defends it that same night. Okay, okay, and then
but then they remember that at all. I don't remember that, but I
remember at the Fall paper at the September pay per view, they had what
the fuck was that? The scramble was a scramble that that was breakfast But
I don't let me see here. They had like a it was like a
scramble match or something where you had championships. Scramble here, it is scramble.
Yeah, you have five guys, and so you kept pinning everybody and
whoever had whoever that's right had the most recent pin. When the time limit
ran out one they would be the the champion and Jerich and so before that,
Randy Orton had had beaten up and punted see him punk, and so
he was out of the match. So fucking suck dough and so Jericho was
a last minute replacement and he won the belt and that got him the belt
right on the belt and he was like such a fucking worm and it was
so great, and it led to that incredible ladder match between he and UH
and Sean Michaels knocked out Sean's wife by mistake. Ye SummerSlam. That's a
hot angle. That was so good. Fuck. But this is before that
he had the short hair. Did that alarm you of the short hair?
No? No, I was. I was okay with it, really,
I was okay with it. I I yeah, because I remember I'd seen
him too, I'd seen pictures of him on the internet, and I knew
he had his short hair, so it wasn't Yeah, we were braced for
it. I was. I was ready for it, and yeah, I
mean it's really better than it is now, that scraggly, thin, long
just like the hair of a of like a witch. He got his hairlined
back. I don't know how he pulled that off. He was receding and
all of a sudden, there it was, right in the front of his
forehead. Again, he's probably folding it over. He's something man, the
state of the man is something. So here he is and uh, but
he's lost weight because he looks so awful. Well he loses and he gets
it back. I don't know. I mean, what kind of a zempeic
he's using, But it's the chubby The chubby age Rocker was the best look
he's had in recent years. Like he just should have fucking kept that because
like his his thin wayfish look just completely. It accentuates his depleted chest,
you know, the cavernous abysso's chest. Oh my god, Oh my god.
The wrestling puts you in the ground with a big fucking dent in your
the middle of your chest, Like what the fuck is this thing? Like
what a disaster? You know, like no one's gonna look at you appropriately
again, You're just you're just a fucking you're like you're you're disfigured. Yeah,
exactly what the fuck is wrong with you? Put up on your chest,
dude? What at the barbecue? Dude? Putting your shirt back on?
Please, you can't go in the pool like that. I'm afraid you're
gonna develop a puddle and drown in your own I mean, actually, I
think I've said that. Did I say? I think I said about Cope
Kinks and probably put cereal in there booty os to be clear. So yeah,
the whole program was JBL mocking Jericho as a dad watching TV, all
right, just laying back and he's fucking scooping out cereal from his chest.
Disgusting, so file Landy could only dream, uh huh. So yeah,
the whole thing was JBL calling Chris a pointless dad and a gutless daddy.
And you see what I did to your daddy. I don't know. They
must have gotten some notion that like I want to be I want this.
I want this program to be about daddy, all right, and I want
him to be a daddy figure and I want daddy to be the key phrase
of the feud. I wonder why that? Why that would be. But
uh, I mean, I don't have enough. And you know, Chris,
Chris Kamier, I had a thought, but you know, and give
me your honest feedback on this. What if we renamed you Leo Lupton?
Well, what if we what if we renamed you? All? Right,
hold on them, Let's just don't don't don't dismiss me before before you go
off. Can I just picture picture Jericho's face and picture him coming to the
ring and picture the graphic on the bottom of the screen saying, Leo Lupton,
we're thinking when you come back that you you be a different character altogether,
right, and people will recognize you as Chris Jericho. But I think
it's it's important that we, you know, reorganize your character, you know,
kind of give it a fresh take. So we're thinking, what if
right, bear with me, So, Leo Lupton? Right, what if
we do daddy Leo Lupton or bad Daddy or bad daddy or your daddy Leo
Lupton, Daddy hit me Leo Lupton or daddy. Don't call me father Leo
Lupton. I'm thin, rolls off the tongue, rolls off my brain.
Tell you that I like to introdced your valet, Vicky by the way,
all right, fine, well how about a compromise, Leo Lipton. Then
we can sell iced tea advertiser. You know we can do we can do
a brand integration with Lipton iced Tea and you can always come down with a
glass of iced tea like we could wear like a you could wear you know,
one of those kind of a light a light suit with a scarf,
you know. Leo Lipton, Daddy O Leo Lipton, Daddy O Iced Tea
King. Fuck, okay, there's a shirt, Daddy Leo lip Daddy O
Leo Lipton, the ice Tea King. I think we I think we landed
on something. I mean, I think we're talking about money. I think
we're gonna land on a nice bed of hot, sweaty cash. So the
blue and white Jericho Countdown Jericho is coming shows up on the screen, and
then you get the Pyro and then he Jericho save us to Jay, you
know I've got you. And now he comes small business march into the ring.
He's now I can see this being like a Vince thing where it's like
we need, we need you to show a little bit more toughness. A
little more ruthlessness, Chris, So they were you are a little too shiny
around the edges. We you just find find that that dog in you.
I want to hear the I want to hear the big dog, all right,
the big daddy dog for that brass ring. You do that for me,
Pal, You're gonna get it done. I'm gonna get back to texting.
Jay runs down the titles. Jericho is one and says he's a loving
father and no coward Lily and Garcia the announce for this one. G he
comes out ting ting ting ting, ting, ting ting ting ting, nun
but none but King Kang, King King. So it's such a good one.
For that, such a good one. That's one thing I couldn't hate
on is his entrance music. Oh it was so great and like I love
this rip rip off of Magnificent seven theme. Yeah, so good. Just
picture his face with the hat like coming out smiling. Remember you used to
do a little dance too. For some reason, he did that fucking dance.
You's got two step whatever, you idiot's chippling bits. It's jibbling bits,
mother fucker. Ye he's like jibbing bitch tits like Texas oil money,
and now he gets facials in Manhattan, you know, exactly. Now he's
a he's a he's a he's got stock knowledge trading cattle futures. Exactly.
He takes advantage of price arbitrage. God. Okay, by the way,
the Flara MVP match lasted U seven minutes forty eight seconds on the time check.
And now it's yeah Jericho and jbl here at the two thousand and eight
Royal Rumble, so lawrus Is, Jericho's own kid looked at him and said,
Daddy, is it true? Are you a coward? You picture kids
saying that, are you a coward? Dad? Yeah? Whaddy? Are
you a coward? Daddy? I heard you're a coward. You know,
it's still sticking with me. Like part one, when Vince got in Ashley's
face, he let a little that North Carolina out and he goes, you
go, Crayra, Can you imagine you know how like people that get the
Boston exent out of their system, it comes back and they're drunk. Yeah.
Picture like Vince, like everyone knows, like when he's mad, and
yeah, all he's done is try to get rid of that fucking any essence
of that. I mean he comes in when he's screaming at you. Yes,
because it brings him back to Leo Lupton. Yeah, yep, yep,
depth, the depth of depravity. He gets all Leo on people,
le you? Is that what you're asking of me? Are you saying,
Vince? I want you to go all Leo on me? Because I will
break you down? Wow, just like I was broken down. Oh I
will go there and I will destroy you like I was destroyed. Oh,
boss, hear all of a sudden, you're electrifying me. I wasn't ready
for this at all. Should have known it was coming up. He's bubbling
out of the surface for weeks, you know, lapsed. Funk wallpapered it
over, Virgil wallpapered it over. We had all these reasons to not let
it show through. But April seventh is coming too fast, not fast enough.
So why do a chance? Earlly jbl with a resting bitch face?
But what else is new? Lawl are standing up for Jericho. He's got
such a fucking weird ass faced gibble. Like the picture is like it's like
it's like somewhere along the way it got deformed, you know, like you
look at you look at him as Bradshaw, and you know, a p
a Bradshaw and he's like, okay, you know obviously you got the the
dyed hair. But he looks like kind of a normal big hoss kind of
person. But as Gibble, he just like there's something like his eyes are
like his eyelids are like a little twitchy, lazy, lazy eyelids, and
ship like he just takes out his incredulous face when he's looking at like what
what do you mean? What's not supposed to make face? Like right now,
like pretending pretending to be a good guy and then like completely humiliating you
of course, like you're only a good guy to him if you can give
him something, just trash because he's a New York stockbroker king. So here's
Jay Jerry Lawler standing up for Jericho for the unfounded comments that JBL made about
him. Hey, what happened to my heel? Announcer? By the way,
not not this, not this Jerry Lawler. Nope, post like the
whole announced booth, all three brands, they don't have a heel among them.
I do want to say, I'm trying to remember when when Lawler like
it really started at maybe like two thousand five or six, like he started
really shedding the heel. It's just like a regular guy, and it's so
listen. I'm not I'm not a huge fan of Jerry Lawler as a heel
commentator eat anyway, but I'll take it rather than this fucking passive shit.
Yeah's such a wasted opportunity to not have a heel on the call. Yeah,
it's awful. So they lock up several times. Jericho fires off a
flying form and takes JBL down and starts punching away again, showing that kind
of street fighting, tough streak kind of thing. JBL tries a short arm
clothesline. It's ducked. Jericho goes to the walls, but JBL gets to
the ropes. You were going for the lariat from Purgatory? Is that what
it was? Yes, Purgatory, the clothes line from Hell. Oh my
god, lariot from Gatory. It's fucking I couldn't it couldn't be. It
changed like the clothes line from Wall Street or something like clothes line from Hell.
Like you're you're not associated with you see a difference. I don't.
I don't, but that I think that would have been funny though, because
like he's not associated with the there's no ministry anymore, there's no you know,
like that was the whole idea that clothes line from Hell came from him
being part of the Undertaker's thing, and it's like now it's just close line
from Hell. Yeah, with with this goof it's true your cowboy like he
should be. It should be the the million the million dollar clothes line,
like the million Dollar Dream or the clothes line from from Wall Street. I
think would be really funny. I think I think the fact that it's not
that it's so wordy and chunky, I think that makes it better. You
should have called it like the Reservations of Peter Luger's clothesline or something resient carbones
so JB. JBL notes No Jr. Notes JBL severe back problems coming into
the match, which led to all that heaviness. He pretty much had a
retired after losing to Mysterio at WrestleMania twenty three. It was a shock.
It was a shock to see him back in the ring because he was he
was just an announcer right up until up until he screwed Jericho out of the
belt. So White to j the baseball slide out and on the floor.
JR. Says JBL was not safe at second With that one. JR calls
Gibble the millionaire maller a few times. I don't remember that nickname, and
I wish i'd never heard it so I could forget it again. The millionaire
maller, by the way, yes, also in attendance for the first Nitro
he owned the place. Would that make Vince McMahon the billionaire brawler, I
don't know, but it would make Vader the millionaire mall developer. I mean,
you could have Deebs in WCW. You could be the trillionaire troller maybe,
but Paulbero is a millionaire paller. I mean, it's all there.
I mean, that's what we're trying to say. For some reason, the
top foam strip of the guardrail is peeled off. I don't know who did
this, but it's hanging there. As they hit the floor. Back in,
Jericho charges and gets hot shotted throat first across the top rope the laryx.
As they say, of course, Jericho had been damaged. The laryix
short on clothesline by JBL. Here's the millionaire maller line. You talked about
awful. We love psychology that calls back to moments when body parts were softened,
don't we as wrestling fans, absolutely there's necessary. We like when body
parts are softened but not broken. No, exactly exactly. We like to
know that that there is a chink in the armor. Right. You know
JB puts a sleeper on j R. Sis jbl as well, you guessed
it, dictating the pace. Take a shot, yeah and pace yourself.
Let me tell you, Yeah, that's right. I think Jan went to
Pace University and in his favorite salsa is pace. That's probably true, and
is his second favorite sport is pasteball. Oh that's sun. I can picture
j R. Scooping salsa on a tortilla ship and just loading it into his
face. But you know, it's not like it's it's it's crappy salsa.
He loves crapp does. He likes it to taste like ketchup almost. Yeah.
He doesn't like you know, he doesn't like authentic like restaurant style salsa.
He likes just plain old tostitos with with like you know, chunky pay
salsa. You know that's it. His pecante sauce, right, and then
a fucking blunt besides the out of a jar. He like scoops it out
of a jar. Oh, and then a blunt the size of a traffic
come. Yeah, he's got that like hanging out of the corner of his
mouth and he slides in fucking chips with salsa and his his lips in a
desperate attempt not to drop the fucking the fucking blunt, just like they push
off so much of the tomato and and the salsa all over his his his
shirt when Jim gets the munchies. They got to go to uber x on
the door dash because you can't it can't fit it at a standards of Dan
I don't know. And it's it's like you know, and and he and
he needs it, he needs it yesterday about Jr. He like he way
too late. Do you picture living in an apartment like Matt Damon lives in
and The Departed? No, it's way too nice. Okay, I picture
it more like actually the the girlfriend's apartment. Okay, that's a good one.
Yeah, or like where the genius lived when he sent us that cameo.
Yeah exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah, like tope with wal to
wall. That's where JR lives. And you know he's got like a he's
got like a you know, like a small little living room setup. You
know, he's got a chair, He's got his chair and like you know
a deck that he knit. It is like loaded with fucking storage shit.
Yeah, his chair like so judging. You know, his chair, it's
awesome. You know if you sit in his chair, Jericho while in the
sleeper and I shit you not, JR says, fights back up to verticality
as he knocks down JB with a forearm clothesline. Thing. One more thing
about about Jr's apartment. The wall to wall is just soaked in pot smoke,
Like you can't you you could never, like I think of he rips,
butts do he does? He really smoking on his podcast? Yeah?
Are you used to at least no ship ripping. But I didn't know.
I didn't know he did that. I uh, because I imagine it's smelling
like the the the oak Woods apartment that build them Ott and I shared in
and you met build him out last week on the program and he and he
and I like, I think I told this before, but I'll say it
again. He and I would we so we when we lived in this place,
we first went to LA for the Emerson LA program. We we started
off smoking outside. We had like a little patio area, right Yah,
started smoking out there, you know, and being very respectful. And then
as time went on, it was like, all right, we'll just we'll
smoke inside, and we'll just we'll keep the window. We'll keep the window
open at least so like you'll air out. Yeah, And then at some
point it just stopped. A closed window, just smoking galore. Oh so
bad. We had we had uh, we didn't have an ash tray.
So what we would what we would use is we would have a paper or
a plastic cup, okay, and we'd put like a little bit of like
water at the beginning and the bottom so that you just throw it in there
and it goes out. But at some point we were just so fucking like,
it's disgusting, amazing how lazy you could be at that age. Yes,
we're just so fucking lazy that the cigarette butts would pile up, Yes,
yes they would. So we'd have like maybe think about like a mountain.
Look, they've got to be they've got to be emptied. But today
is today really the day. I really need to do it today, so
I need to get up and move fifteen feet. Oh fucking don't. And
and and it was like you're probably like two inches above the rim of the
uh of of of the cup. And it was just like, oh,
man, I mean we yeah, it was bad. It was bad,
and we uh And I remember a year later, I was at a get
together and somebody overheard my name being spoken and they were They were Emerson's students
at the LA program a year after I was there, and they knew who
I was. And I said, did you live You lived in this We
live in your apartment at the Oak Woods And I said how fuck do you
know where I lived? And they said, well, because we get your
Entertainment weekly the magazine was still coming there and and and they said, the
the apartment smells. It's atrocious. It's absolutely awful. Like what did you
do? Oh, it's in the fibers, honey, I hate to tell
you. It's in all the furniture, like the you know, like like
cause we just fucking sit on the furniture on on on couches and just smoke
cigarettes. Like what is this nineteen eighty two? Seriously wal' to wall carpeting,
all right, just what I mean? Oh, it was awful.
It's funny. You got Entertainment weekly. I got the Observer Sports Entertainment Weekly
exactly. So there's that. Oh Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like I saw
like an address list for myself one time, and and because of the Observer,
there it was my fucking po box at on campus. You know,
we used to have those little like individual mailbox addresses as Oh my god.
Of course I must have talked about this before, but I used to get
so stressed out because sometimes it would come a week late, sometimes it wouldn't,
and sometimes sometimes it would be put in the wrong box and it'd be
one you know. I remember one time our pal Danny Eggsam slipped it under
my door and what a day that was, Oh my god. But other
because kids would load the mailbox and they could give a fuck. You just
mentioned how lazy they were, yeah, and it was like where is it?
Like you don't understand where is it? And I used to go there
with baited breath to open that thing, this little small gold box you know,
couldn't be any bigger than you know, your hands. It's a po
box, you know, it's like, yeah, it'd open it and there
there was that white like folded over a little ye gift for me so I
could stay connected. So nervous, so nervous because there had been weeks.
I just didn't get it, and Dave was kind enough to email it to
me. But I didn't want to be that guy. And now you know
me, I wanted that paper copy. Yeah, that's crazy. I didn't
know he did that. Yeah, yeah, he would do customer service for
sure. I hope he did it for everybody. I had a unique challenge
because it was such an unpreftable mail situation. And then you'd have breaks,
Right, you have a month where you're not there, and like how do
you get it to come to the house. That was a big shenanigan.
You have to do like a change of address for a while. Yeah.
Yeah, I would tell him like, can you please send it here for
the next few weeks? And oh my, I mean high stakes because you
know how seriously I took that shit. I was like a monk, look
it's it's it was right. It was like reading the Bible really was like
translating the Bible or like reproducing it, you know, reading eighty five thousand
words text. So Jericho fights back up to verticality. I think we've established
that, yes, Knox downd JR with a forum closeline deal, and they're
just gabbermouths calling out spots at this point. I know, maybe because it's
HD, maybe HD somehow picked it up more clearly. JBL gets the big
boot up, and JBL gets the big boot up, and JR says and
I quote, and perhaps the wrestling side of this confrontation will begin to disintegrate
with the emotional level that these two men have come to Madison Square Garden here
tonight. I want to repeat that, perhaps the wrestling side of this confrontation
will begin to disintegrate with the emotional level that these two men have come to
Madison Square Garden here tonight. Poetry, it's pure poetry. That's one way
to say that they're now wrestling a little harder than they were a minute ago.
JBL throws Jericho's shoulder first into the post, and Jericho, what does
he do? Boss? You know, there's a couple of things you can
do right to leave an impression in the garden. You can, you know,
put put superhuman strength on display, like Bruto sim Martino. You can
absolutely razzle dazzle the crowd like Hulkogt in eighty four, as we talked about
not too long ago. Or you can do what men do, or you
can do it Chris Jericho did on this night. Why don't you tell people
what it was? Ladies and gentlemen, we have color. He ran the
fucking razor. I'm surprised to see color in two thousand and eight. Really,
this is the first h D blade jobs. It absolutely is holy shit,
Wow, so Jericho gets color and h you know what, what is
someone too? It's dripping color too? Yeah, it really was was intense
blade job. Fucking it's not just you know a little you can tell they
were going for like the Jericho Austin moment right where he like fights through the
blood and you realize he sacks a bad ass. They're going for that,
I feel like, But just as at a sideboss. What is someone who
says mean streaks and JBL have in common? What they both have pronounced mean
streaks? Huh? Any thoughts? Uh? No? I agree? I
guess Jericho with the blood on the chest mood a scale blood almost is JBL
works him over in the corner. But then he starts firing out with those
shots, and Jericho's going off and they're trying to show him, you know,
being like one of those fiery baby faces, and then they they cut
to something and there's a lot of booze and you realize something. I'm messed
up and we're going to tell you what it is here in just a minute.
But very sneaky with the peacock edits, I have to say, very
fucking sneaky. I would love to still have the old network to see if
they did it there. And I said I wasn't able to get my hands
on an original broadcast copy of the show. I didn't think it would be
very necessary. But they're sneaky little fucks, and there's a whole bunch of
stuff I think that people on DVD. I wonder if you could have got
in DVD. That's a good one. But you know, who's to say
they wouldn't have edited off that as well. I don't know for sure.
I mean, yeah, true me what it is first, and then I'll
tell you every was because all of a sudden, there's like a gem cut
and they're screaming, you fucked up? Oh you can't see why Jericho with
the lion scored and he saw it. He scores but comes up a little
loopy. And then there's a double clothes line as both spill up over the
ropes to the floor, and and and let me tell you this, and
Jericho is able to get to his feet pretty quickly, and Laller Lawler has
this to say, go ahead, how old was he? I'm not going
to say Jerico was old by any means, but he was thirty seven.
Play the clip. Play the clip again. I this young guy. Not
to mention he's already had a fourteen year career minimum. Young guy, young
guy, thirty seven, thirty seven year old guy. But he cut his
short. He cut his hair short. So you're nice. Nice, that
buys you a decade. Fucking uh uh Marcus Bagwell, Rookie of the year,
fifteen years old. Oh my god, young guy, young guy,
because you want him to be. JBL slams Jericho hard into a desk at
ringside, but on the Joey Styles ECW table and there's blood splatter on it
now and JBL turns around and wham. As soon as he does, Jericho
fucking kills this guy with a chair shot to the head. He waffles him
like this is post Benoir. Yeah, huh and and yeah, I'm not
sure it was post he had the brain of an eighty three year old,
though, I still I mean, but even what happens next, I mean,
he fucking grabs an electric cable and chokes JBL like he's Nancy. Oh,
Like I remember they stopped doing that for a while. Yeah, I'm
sure they did, and they eventually stopped doing chair shots to the head,
but I guess it wasn't right away. Do you remember too? You know
one thing that I forgot until just now that they obviously banned the crippler cross
face. Yeah, but then at Survivor series when Michael's face Orton. This
is how I know. I remember we were together watching this because you and
I were both shocked. Yet when Sewn Michaels did the cross face on Orton,
this is like, oh seven, that was O seven? Oh what
is months after it happened, and they after and all, not only that,
but after a specific that they said they banned it m really really awful
stuff. They couldn't handle it. They couldn't help themselves. I mean,
you got to realize, like they did. They did Randy Orton driving dead
Eddie Guerrero's low rider into the into the set and blowing it up like a
month after he died. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay a fuck.
They had his widow as like a heel within months on TV. Jericho's standing
there with the blood flowing mouth open, jumps. JBL gets back in and
he throws the chair. JBL gets back in the ring, and Jericho throws
a chair from the apronto JBL's head and donks him. Starts throwing some punches
and fishes out of TV cable and they pop for that. And yeah,
like you said, he wraps the cable around JBL's throat. He jumps over
the top rope and then he stands on the UCW table and yanks on the
cord with JBL still in the ring. Tri murder, Tricia Murderer. Yeah
right, I mean it's not unlike the you know, the exertion described with
Ben Want or the sun m months months later. Vince is obsessed with it.
Yep, that's my conclusion. Yep. And Jared put even what are
we talking about? What happened in July two thousand and seven. I know
it was it June, late late June. We're talking less than like we're
talking basically a half year later. Come on, now, a lot of
darkness, friends, a lot of darkness. So Jericho makes off with a
bloody scowl up the aisleway and Jared says, don't talk to it man's children.
And on this night jbl played paid the supreme price. So what was
the booing all about? What was the U fucked up all about? What
was the booing? Please tell me? Turned to the best in the world
at what? I have no idea Jericho's book. I had initially wanted to
come back as a heel, but Stephanie mc man was convinced that since I
didn't been around for a while, people wouldn't want to cheer for me for
a few weeks. She was right, but the bloom was fading off,
the baby face rose, and I knew it'd have to make a change quickly
if I had any chance of staying relevant. For now, I was still
waving the good guy flagon and Randy Orton. I had a great heal to
work with a army Geddon in Pittsburgh. That's the match we were just talking
about. There. He's an amazing worker. In his timing, selling,
ara, and believability are all off the charts. Plus with the RKO,
he has one of the best finishers in the biz. He helped me knock
the rest of the ring rust off pretty quickly that day, and we had
a good match despite a dead Pittsburgh crowd. I was starting to feel comfortable
in the ring again and hit all my patent moves with crispness, crossbody to
the floor, second rope, prop kick to the apron in ziguri, and
my brand new codebreaker. Toward the end, he threw me over the announced
desk and to commentator John Bradshaw, Layfield and the former world champion who decided
to make an in ring comeback a few minutes later. This is what we
were also talking about when I had Randy lock on the walls of Jericho in
the middle of the ring, JBL ran in and gave me this wicked clothes
line from how Orton was disqualified. I got the win. More important,
this was the start of the White two j vers JBL program that was going
to take us to wrestle Mania. But something funny happened on the way to
the Forum, or in this case, the Mania Stadium. I'm not sure
why our program didn't click and John and me you had two excellent talkers who
knew how to build a match and had good Kevin's street in the ring before
whatever reason, our feud never took off. Maybe it was because we had
both just returned, or the lack of a real issue between us, But
the bottom line was we only had enough steam to last through one pay per
view, the Royal Rumblind Madison Square Garden. It was a largely forgettable match.
Would the only two highlights be me getting majorly busted open and ah the
days of blood and missing jbl completely on a bulldog attempt? Oh no,
he bumped anyway, leading to a huge you fucked up chant from the crowd,
still the most embarrassing chant to endure as a performer. Afterward, I
asked Vince what he thought, and he said, well, you lost the
crowd on that bulldog, didn't you. Oh that was pretty rotten. I
mean, I'll tell you Christ you know what, and the crowd is that
you fucked up. I mean I have to go back. Joe tell Rouman
think about that. Fol I think what you should do right now is you
don't take a flight home and consider you're a future did you do if you
were me? I mean, do you think that the position you've put me
in now? I mean again in you, Chris, I think you've been
selfish tonight by allowing yourself to make an error of such a large capacity.
I mean, what is it exactly that you want for me? Now?
What is it exactly that you plan to do to make it up to me?
Chris? I mean the thing is, can you make it up to
me? Or? Really? Did I make a huge error? Did I
fuck up myself by bringing you back? That's a conclusion you want me to
reach, Chris. I mean I would like you to go home, you
know, maybe mull it over with your wife and decide exactly what it is
you want to do on Monday because he missed a bulldog. And I'll tell
you what to make it extremely easy for you. Yep, I will let
you know that this morning, before I came to the arena, I went
to your house and I fornicated with your wife. So how do you like
that? Why don't you make a decision as to where it is your future
lives? Because I know what's in my future, and that's another illegitimate child
from your wife. Talk about zero to sixty. I get this guy in
a levy. Any progressive punishment ever? Is it always? Wait a minute,
He hadn't he hadn't fucked the bulldog up yet, and you took a
flight down in Tampa and closed the deal with whatever her name is, something
Irvine. Don't look at the Twitter brother. After that, I stopped asking
Vince what he thought of my matches for a while. He said it was
deja vol over again. When I first arrived in w W ninety nine,
I had a massive build up and a legendary feud with the Rock, but
a scant few months later I was feuding with China and losing to Gangrail on
Sunday Night Heat. This time I returned with another massive build up top of
the Mountain, big money contract, a verbal duel with the world Champion,
but a scant few months later I was getting you fucked up Chance and Madison
Square Garden against a recently returned former commentator. As a wise man once said
enough was enough and it was time for a change Wow. After the Lesson
Classic MSG match, the program with JBL was scrapped, leaving me directionless.
I pinned him quickly the next month in an elimination chamber match before getting eliminated
myself, and that at WrestleMania twenty four, I was one of the eight
guys and the money in the bank match. That don't get me wrong,
Money the bank matches are always fun. How I co created the damn thing,
but to be in one at WrestleMania means you have no relevant angle to
speak of. It was almost busy work. So that's there's a bit of
a career crossroads here. Who knew what the two thousand and eight Rumble for.
It makes sense though, actually, honestly, given the change that he
did have. I remember two when he won in he somewhere sometime between some
raw between between the Rumble and WrestleMania, he won the intercom Meal title again,
and it was just like, ah, he's back to where he was.
Yep, totally, I remember that. He's just back to where he
was. He can't do it, They can't go with him. I was
so depressed. They had such a problem with that for so long. Yeah,
we did. They'd be funny to go up to Jericho Nanograft signing with
a shirt that says, well, you lost the crowd on that bulldog.
Didn't you would be amazing? I get it. So the music fades and
JBL's out on the mat anyway, just like just just like the uh the
uh you know, just black shirt with the white lettering. Right, oh
yeah, as as plain as can be. Make it very clear to him
that this shirt was only made the highlight that the statement was once made,
not not for design purposes. Well, you sure lost the crowd. Well
you lost the crowd on that bulldog, didn't you. Well, you lost
the crowd. I'm that bulldog, didn't you? Comma comma didn't you?
Yes, And then he says that was pretty rotten, but that might make
the shirt to wardy oh, and there's a comm after well, just saying
so. The music phades and JBL's on the mat and Lily and Garcia announces
the winner of this by his qualification is John Bradshaw Layfield and they boo so.
In nine twenty three, nine minutes and twenty three seconds, John Bradshaw
Leyfield defeats Christjiericho on the back it should say that that was pretty rotten.
Hey, it's good. I think that's good. It's our Royal Rumble two
thousand and eight collection. That's right, who doesn't have a Royal Rumble?
Two thousand and eight collection, Oh God, oh no, Cut to the
back. Ashley Masarrow, Ashley Masara, Ah, I just I just I
feel her pain. I feel her pain, and I want to tell her
that that there somebody must love her and please be just go with God.
No, don't go with God. Actually, just read the quote I just
sent you that Paul London said on a podcast. I do remember specifically many
times. I wait, I don't why it does that it comes up in
the blue thing anyway. I do remember specifically many times when she would be
crying to me because Vince was propositioning her to fly on the jet with him,
London said, Kevin Dunn, bucktooth, Bucky. We'll be telling her
that she has to fly on the jet with them. Every now and then.
They'd always put the divas up at like the TV hotel or whatever.
He'd be knocking on her door and trying to get her to answer. And
here girl is just like her value like she's being told how like that she's
only valuable to be pretty much a sex toy. At the very least,
you have to play along with this like this Vince thing, you know,
that's so gross, so fucking vile. And so she's you know, cleavage
all over the place on the screen, knocking on Maria's door. We see
it, says Maria on the door. And not only I don't know if
she had I'm not trying to make an assumption about it, but she just
looks very, very, very depressingly thin. I've always thought that about her.
I thought like she looked alarmingly like she can't possibly be healthy, almost
like Angelina Love. And when I say healthy, you know, I understand
that that that's what they wanted from these women, that they had to put
themselves through torture to look like they did on TV. But to your point,
she was like thin to the point where that looks like it like could
be a medical emergency. It just looks very right, it looks it looks
unhealthy thin, you know, like cause and I remember, because I remember
like when I when she first came in, I thought she was like awesome
from a from a physical yeah, you know, place sure, but I
it's just like looking at her hair, like she just she just looks she
looks not only I mean, she was what at this time she would have
been. So she's she's not even thirty. She's twenty nine. No,
not even she's twenty eight years old at this point. Okay, she's twenty
eight years old, and she she just looks old and not old old,
but she looks at least ten years older than what she is and just looks
like someone who's been through some shit. Yeah, I forget. This is
like two years after the thing in Kuwait happened. It's amazing that she worked
for so long for them atter after that. Yep, not so long,
but longer than a month, you know what I mean. Yeah, and
it's sad like that a year later after she committed suicide that her brother did
too, so sad. It's just no, he was using for so he
was murdered, sorry, and they knew he was gone, but yeah,
I wasn't sure. It's just so fucking this is supposed to be after all
of the the vice was out of the business and the guys are playing video
games right no the yeah, well no, let me tell you, the
Vice is never out of the business, correct, Yeah, what are they
going on? Five seasons now? So then Santino, who was playing kind
of like a what a GM manager. He was like a he's like a
guy that managed the divis almost it seemed like or he was always in the
middle of them. He's in a relationship with Maria, wasn't he back then?
So that's what this is doing. Yeah, he was in a relationship
with with Maria. And I'm pretty sure this is like roughly the time period
where punks started going out with Maria. And that's heat because he's not a
headliner, and that's always been a big thing with them. They've always been
like extra pissed if the hottest women in the company showed any interest in mid
carters. I'm I'm fucking Maria. See him punk and fuck Maria because I'm
fucking Maria. It's like, we have this thing about dating wrestlers, like
don't do it. What all that really means is only make yourself available to
the top guys, because that's sort of like a almost like a perk we
can offer our top guys, you know, yeah, because like, oh
wait a minute, it's not like what are the sex trafficking I mean remember
Orton would have these huge fits when like Amy Weber didn't know who he was
and stuff. This is all as told too. But that was like a
huge thing that like you you had to genuflect towards the top guys when you
were a woman in the company, you had to like basically basically had to
carry yourself like you thought they were hot, you know, and and to
get into a relationship like Jackie Gata did with Charlie Hass or you think about
Kidman and Tory Wilson or Punk at the time in his part of the card
with Maria Ya. That's instant heat. In that company, they can't have
that because they think they know what kind of guy commands that kind of girl,
and they can't compute that. That's not how it works. It just
doesn't. They don't allow for that. Unbelievable, unbelievable when we really look
back at what was happening. And then you know, people talking about how
Kevin Dunn would basically listen to a big pitch for somebody and then say,
I don't I don't think we can do it with her. She's not pretty
enough, or she's I don't think she's pretty. It's like, this is
Kevin done. Kevin Kevin does, This is Kevin done. Kevin Dunne has
no he's the one to say anybody talk about anybody's attractiveness at all, as
long as he's got his fucking Nosferatu teeth, fucking Max Shrek over there,
count overlock sitting around looking at eight x tens, making making faces at Vince.
So she knocks on Maria's dors. Tina comes out says, can I
help you? Maria can't talk, can't tal talk right now? And he's
preparing for a high definition kiss cam because they were doing the kiss cam back
then, where they would cut to two people in the audience. Oh and
this one was a doozy also known as a guy with a girl embarrassed to
be at a wrestling show, right exactly. It doesn't really work in ww
like it does in real sports. Now here, I got yes some of
this for you. So Maria can't talk right now. She's preparing for the
first ever high definition of kiss cam. Why anyone would want to see ugly
sweating New Yorkers kissing is beyond me. But Maria, I'll do it.
You see, that's my Maria. You ask her to do anything and she'll
do it. She can't say no to anything or anyone. That's probably why
she's still with you, Santino. You can't talk to me like, okay,
no reaction. Let me save you the bother Maria is not interested in
you or your booby magazine. Okay. I wish I could vote out of
the WWE, just like they did on Survivor. The grunt as he closes
the door is probably my favorite part. Yeah, he was something else.
But we can't watch any of this stuff anymore, can we? No?
Because everything is like a double entendre Evince trying to get his jolly's on.
We always knew that was part of it, but now that we know how
sort of direct he was about the women in particular, everything we've ever said
about Vince on screen being the real Vince is we've been one hundred percent vindicated.
We've been telling you for ten years, yes, don't look at up,
don't look at us, So, oh my god, that's that.
So then we always say it's the inner monologue of the person, exactly right.
And of course this was the flow ride of year for this is the
full ride of era for WrestleMania songs. But they had to dub that over
on the Peacock version. It's like the sixty three days left. Curiously enough,
they leave that in the broadcast, like why even leave it in?
Like why didn't need to know Wrestlemandia was sixty three days away? I know,
it is kind of weird, like if you're editing out all this other
random shit, what is this? What is is that? The year?
Hey, I heard you were a wild one? That song? I think
that I don't remember I Cold with jet black hair at Ringside, I know
wants to thank our good Friend's Airborne for the stand up for rock and Roll
official theme song of Roy Rumble two thousand and eight. And they do a
story about Edge and Ray with a package Vicky had, you know, come
on, well, Edge had sort of romantically involve himself with Vicky because she
was smacked down general manager and his ticket to the top and Hawkins and Ryder
as the Edgeheads were joining with Edge at that time. You remember that,
I do remember that. It's wild Vicky was in a neck brace, and
I am I'll tell you, I am a big fan of when guys have
protegees like that, like Alex Riley in the Miz Yeah, to a lesser
extent, but I was never at that level. Again, I know,
I know, I loved, like like Charlie Haws and Shelton Benjamin with with
Kurt Angle. Yep, it's fucking awesome. Yep, I liked, I
mean to a lesser degree because maybe because they well no Ted dbs, it
didn't go anywhere. But I wasnna say, like the the Randy Orton,
oh legacy legacy thing, but if they had a name though, which you
know, that kind of takes away from it. Whereas these guys were really
lackeys, lackies. Yeah, that's the thing. They have to be kind
of like goofy, right, the supporting cast, and there was nothing goofy
thing. They gotta be the only way to make it. It's kind of
funny the way to make it work. And like the Alex Roley thing,
I mean, I don't know, I don't really remember any kind of what
his talent was or anything like that, but really the way to make that
work is not to make him a babyface like they did. If you're gonna
when you break them up, which I know you kind of sandow. Yeah,
I mean he was, they just he But with the Riley thing,
he should have actually turned heel on the miz and they should have made the
miz baby face because I think that would have worked better. I think him
as a heel like kind of like trying to take the Mis's spotlight and miss
giving him the rub would have been better off. He would have been better
off. It's interesting. I don't know. I mean I look at him
and I can't imagine really Alex Riley being anything worthy. Yeah, outside of
being the Lackey, yeah, which you know I couldn't. I couldn't really
for at the time, for Ryder and Hawkins either. Yeah. Yeah,
they had a roll, you know. So Vicky was in a neck brace
at the time in a wheelchair, and they show like Edge of the playground
with her and making out whe her and they're on the swings and shit,
they did a beat the clock challenge on SmackDown to get the title shot.
The word rumblin. Batista has taken out everybody for Ray to bring them interfering
and then under Taker comes out, turns the lights out. When they come
back on Edges on the ropes in position for the six one nine, and
Vicky says, I know we've been through a lot of stuff. I still
care about you. What's up with Edge? She scowls, you don't know
Edge. He loves me, he makes me feel special. Ray comes back
to say Edge doesn't love you. This is on smack Done in the week's
leading up. How dare you tell the love of my life? I don't
love Edge? And Edge always needs a woman. He stole to be over.
Let's not forget that always needs a woman. He stole to be over.
And these were a SmackDown clips, So we get the WWHD in the
margins because all the old clips are not HD exactly. Everything like leading up
to this is so that was the story leading up to the match. Yeah
you think you know me? Strolled lights, yes, and he just got
the belt back and army gedding and they talk about it as a plan that
came to fruition after months of planning with Vicky Guerrero, who's wheeled out by
Teddy Long, who was kind of like the assistant general manager. SmackDown now
calls as many people are saying Edge is the recent Vicia Guero is still here
at World Wrestling Entertainment. He says the whole thing, not ww World Wrestling
Entertainment, and then Ryder and Hawkins walk out Rider in a beanie indoors and
man the gear and these guys now compared to them, all three of them,
they are so thick now compared to these scrawny little it's unbelievable. A
rider with a pathetic pyro burst from overhead in that tiny entrance way out of
Ray. Sorry not writer, Ray, I'm sorry, I wrote Ray.
They can't really replicate that big game pyro in the small No. No,
it's like you can. It's almost funny to watch him try. Honestly,
just don't do it here they come. Yeah, Ray has like a medieval
mask on, like he's a fucking legionaire. I don't know what he's doing.
Meanwhile, Indie guy's performing at American Legions, and there's a sign that
says Mysterio Square Garden. That's that's funny. Actually, I like that Mysterious
Square Garden. That's pretty cool. Vicky J. Former WSW referee, Mickey
J. Now Mickey Henson and ww hoists the big gold for this next contest.
Sounds like a bit of a mixed reaction for Ray when they say from
San Diego. But then we come to find out that everyone showed up in
MSG to fucking Boo Raymond Stereo tonight, right, like, what the fuck
is that about? Edge gets a huge pop. I don't know. They
just thought Edge was cool and some that's the garden man. If they think
a heel's cool, there's no one less cool than the baby face he's wrestling
that night. I think of Sid and Sean at Sarrivors Serres ninety six and
so many examples like that. It's nothing against Ray, it's just tonight we
decided Edge is a really cool heel and the other guy therefore has to be
a bit you know, right right? Cole declares, did a big fight
feel in a place that's hosted more than any there's Edge Chance and Coach says
Edge was going to leave WW a couple of months ago, and Vicky talked
to him into coming back, and now he's the champion. Edge versus Raymond
Sterio here the owait rumble. Of course, former tag champs and a great
tag team. They were, yes and close friends. Cole runs down all
the belts Edges has held for some reason and Ray two eight time tag champ
and all that, and they reference their history together. Let's go Edge Chance.
Ray starts kicking the legs and that draws Booze right away so it's very
clear immediately what side and they're on. Oh, I know, it's crazy.
It's not like it develops. During the match, Ray tries a metal
rope spring Boardana almost blows it, almost loses the spot, which gets him
even more heat from the crowd, and Cole says, the chances are the
winner of this match, we'll defend it at Mania, pretending the rumble winner
is going to pick this belt. Cole says, the New York City fans
surprise every time we're here. That's a reference to Ray being booed, of
course, coming straight from Mince, no doubt. If it was Toronto,
they would have to call it. What bizarro world, You're damn right.
Edge sends right to the floor under the bottom rope they pop it. Ray
Land's on his feet instead of going splash on the outside baseball slide drop kicked
by Edge, and then Hawkins and Ryder come over to get at Ray Masterio,
but Mickey Jay catches them in the act and tosses them from ringside,
and Coach points out that they didn't even touch Raymisterio. Yet they're being ejected,
which is a decent point why they're allowed out there in the first place
is the real question, so Ray, because they didn't do anything, They
just stood there and pretended to almost interfere and then got punted. Did you
hear, also, Cole, what did Cole say? Cole sit called Mysterios
mask to be like a Knight's mask. Yeah, like the Centurion thing or
the Legionaire mask. But it's it's uh, it's certainly inspired by Russell Crowe's
mask and his helmet and Gladiator. That's what it is, right, Yeah,
absolutely, that's not a night and Knight has like the face is covered.
Yeah, yeah, right, they have like a different thing, but
like I don't know, like he's got the same kind of like if you
look at Russell Crowe's mask or his helmet in those first Gladiator battle, it's
the same exact look yep, that's right. So Ray puts Edge in the
middle rope and Edge ducks to the floor befoorking, get hit and anything.
Ray follows up though with a pescado taking out Edge on the outside, and
then the springboard bombs away sentan splash back in the ring gets too. Ray
then is launched into the corner lands in the middle rope though like they used
to do as a team where he would like launch Ray up into the super
Herkin rana. Yeah, Edge kicks him out the kne though before he can
launch him a piece of offense, and of course that's a surgically repaired knee.
As Michael Cole points out, of course we do need to know that
it wasn't repaired by nature. No, it was repaired by doctor James Andrews,
and it's in the process boss of being softened. And further to that
point, half crab by Edge, it was repaired by surgicality. Rough gets
free and sigury Edge lands in the middle rope and Ray limbs so we can't
quite do the six one nine at full speed. That allows Edge to catch
him in a snap power slam for two. Nice spot there. I'm okay
with that very nice Edge with the pointless lucha leg stretch mufflers submission that I
hate so much where you put the leg around your neck and then he tries
a half assed ankle lock. Let's see Coachman says, take away his aerial
offense, but it sounds like you said his areola offense. Edge starts taking
the knee brace of Ray mysterio off and Coachman says, is that legal?
Michael, I'm I'm not sure. Uh, you know, to do some
aerial offense myself. That's right on anybody, any woman please now will bear
a pickup bulldog by Ray. Of course, of booze breaks out. I
know it's so crazy, well ies, Ray wore those baggy pants to hide
the knee braces. That's why, yes, so much brasage under there.
Ray selling the knee big time, but still throwing some kicks. Edge tries
a sunset flip it. Ray rolls through and kicks him in the head,
but the good leg. Michael Cole points out that gets too. Ray climbs
up Edge like a power bomb almost but lands in the sent on on his
head for two Edge his head. It's yeah, they keep saying Ray's last
gasp. It isn't that much left, they say that over. I'm just
so surprised about this because Ray is one of those guys that's just universally beloved.
Yeah, and you know, there are guys I totally get. Listen,
I get the New York crowd, I get the they that they you
know that there is a different mentality. But like to me, Ray has
always been like a sting, you know, or a ricky steamboat. You
just always cheer for him. You can't booth them. I'm just I was
shocked to hear this. Yeah, yeah, and I forgot about it.
He was kinda he was kind of neutered after we won the title. I
O six. You know, it's kind of like it was so clear that
he actually, really really wasn't going to be pushed as a top guy for
any duration of time that I feel like some of the smarter crowds were just
like, stop forcing this guy on us. We know you don't mean it.
You know it's you know, he's being put out here just to get
us to go yeay yay. But you'd think, though, you'd think that's
not his fault, and oh, it's not that you'd you'd want to keep.
It's not like they're they're they're throwing somebody. It's not like they're they're
pushing John Cena down your throat. Like everyone loves Ray, like the more
main events in him, the better. Yeah. I don't know. I
think he may he may have overstayed his welcome just to touch you know.
He was one of those guys that always benefited from going away for a while,
sure, but most do. I'm not saying that that's like a mark
against him, but he just he was so consistent from the time he came
in the company in terms of like staying in front of the people that I
do feel like, come two thousand and eight, people were a little sick
of it and like, Okay, now he's gonna do this six one nine,
you know, but if he goes away for a year, it's like,
oh my god, Ray's back. This is fucking huge. I forgot
that someone of his caliber was on the shelf. Jericho ran into that too,
over and over again after a while. So where were we? So
Ray goes to the top rope, gets cut off and knocks back edge does
a double footstomp, interesting choice considering his bad wheel. Yeah, Cuda gra
just cored torso that gets too. Then the hurrican ron on ed to the
floor and an unusual combination of hope and pain from Ray. Michael Cole says,
talk about unique and unorthodox. As he does a baseball headslide to the
floor or on into a D D T baseball slide into a M D D
T on the floor, he does you know, Ray does seem off like
he's kind of fucked up a couple of moves in this match. Yeah yeah,
Cole calls that a belly baseball slide. By the way, what Ray
did to get to the d D t okay? Great? Thanks? Back
in cover gets two, Coachman says, how many two and three quarters two
and a half have we had? I know, coach, I always think
they should put that kind of stuff on a scoreboard. In a wrestling match,
Ray charges into the Big Boot and he's mowed down by Edge. Corner
Spirit tempt by Edge, but he misses Ray with a tilts and whirl Head
sayser on Edge, who sends him into the rope six to one nine scores
all on. Because you gotta hear Michael Cole say some horse shit. Okay,
New York's kind of new the area code, why do you hmmm?
I would just say that you think it's cool? Yeah, of course it
is. I think it's cool. Okay, I stand corrected. Then I'd
say it, you know, fucking area code. What an idiot? And
I know it's not his fault. Uh when he had that one might be
his, I don't know. Uh, when he has six one nine,
say that New York City has a new area code. Uh col all right,
wait, hold on, I've got some verbiage. I've got to I've
jotted down some notes of some high ideas and thoughts that I thought you might
be able to convey to the to the ww universe via commentary uh syn transmission.
Uh here all right, So when when Ray, yes, when Ray
hits the six one nine, I think you can claim that the New York
City Metropolitan Area has a new area code, and you can claim that New
York City has now become part of San Diego. And I want you to
say the New York City Metropolitan Area bath use the yes, New York City
Metropolitan Area has now become the San Diego East, right. Can you say
that and say that this is a this is a a government ruling that Manhattan
has now become a district of San Diego of California. Imagine that headline,
Manhattan votes to become part of San Diego, California, with no explanation of
how it's going to work. All of a sudden, it's all phone numbers
have to be six. Manhattan doesn't move, San Diego doesn't move. They
just decide that this little part of New York City is now actually California,
decided that it's a California territory over here. We're going to bring in some
Royceshire promoting. We're going to bring in some palm trees. Have them,
have them, you know, planted up and down Broadway. Can you picture
of palm trees in Lake Times Square? Oh my god, how fucking But
not in New York. No, no, no. Ray climbs does the
hands free splash that gets to Vicky. Then he yanks referee Mickey Jay out
by the ankle, and Michael Cole gets all hot and bothered about how I
thought Vicky was in a wheelchair. I thought she needed a wheelchair. That
was all a bunch of bullshit. She's general manager and she can do what
she wants. So unlike a Hawker, Hawk, Hawkins and Rider, they're
not She's not gonna get tossed out of the match. So yeah, because
technically the referee works for her right to the middle rope, Ray hits a
six one nine, but as he goes for it, Vicky jumps up on
the apron and covers Edge's body with hers, so Ray actually ends up kicking
Vicky in the back. Of the head. I I like that actually quite
a bit. They executed it well, yes, yes, So Vicky collapses
to the floor and Ray totally loses his focus for a second, realizing what
he's done, but he still goes to follow up from the apron. He
springboards. No, yeah, I know, right, tugging at his heart
strings, he springboards, he launches, Yes, he does, an Edge
spears him out of mid air. That's right. Tremendous finish, good stuff.
One two, three, twelve minutes, thirty four seconds. Edge defeats
Randy Orton to retain the World Heavyweight Championship at the two thousand and eight Royal
Rumble, with no small bit of help from Vicky Guerrero. Edge then panics
when he realizes what happened to Vickian hits the Florida check on her. Zach
Ryder and Kurt Hawkins also come out to do the same, and Michael Cole
says there's an old song Love Hurts, an old saying love hurts. Okay,
so a cool replay of Right hitting a splash and they slow it down
just as he gets his hang time. Yep, yeah, they would do
that. At the time they outload Vicky back into the wheelchair, and Coachman
says, how can you deny that she needs a wheelchair? Now? Cole
says, that's what I just said. They go in the back and Flare
just came out of the shower. He's got a towel on his waist.
Where's Missy Hyatt? I know? And then Kennedy enters the frame, slow
clapping for Flair. This would be mister Kenneth Kennedy. Kennedy known as Ed
Helms. Oh God, and it's awesome, great job, gives him a
woo, says after I went a romolo night. This is Kennedy chewing gum.
I can only think I'm gonna have so much time on my hands between
the nWo, between the WO, between no Mercy in WrestleMania. I just
love nothing more between now and WrestleMania. What the hell am I talking about
No Mercy now in WrestleMania that I would just love nothing more. Before he
can finish the sentence, HBK pops his goofy face into the frame. Don't
let me interrupt. I find this fascinating Kennedy with his Midwest no no no,
And see you later, Rick, and see you too, and he
leaves, and then and then Kennedy says, I mean I can Michael says
this, I can you believe that a loud mouth of noxious trash talking platinum
blood hair with a catch raised these kids today that gimmick will never work.
Okay, Sean, you see what he did there, because he's talking about
Rick Flair. I get it. You see, you get it though,
because like he's it's any and when you say gimmick, you see he's breaking
the fourth wall and acknowledging that wrestling's fake to the thing. And it only
helps Ken Kennedy to call him a derivative of Ric Flair. That's always a
yeah, So it's like an homage. Yeah, and uh, it's a
you know, it's it's it's really smart, smart writing. Flair says,
last year came so close. I'm hungry for the world title. I know
to night, no one can beat you in your quest. Sean came so
close. Oh my god, you came so close. You wouldn't take her
at the end there, and uh, he just like me and Luger,
Oh my god, Luger, he doesn't get old. Batista comes in,
WAPs up. Flair says, hey, Dave I mean all I said about
how Sean's the man to do it and no one can beat you. Tonight,
I met on the raw brand because you know Batista also being the rumble,
can take that personally. And then Trip steps in with his feathery hair,
going back to the long hair. So we got we have like we've
got a mix of d X and evolution going on here. We really do.
And HbA, with his goofy, little fucking face, says, a
little awkward, such a such a dufus trip light looks flair and so as
I've told you this a million times, for the love of God, man
put your pants on, because they're all friends. It's okay, it's funny.
Yeah, as far as tonight goes, the best man will win,
and Batista steps to triple ah and says, I agree, the best man
will win, and Sean says, I think we can all agree on the
very best man will win. And without a doubt, he's going to be
wearing the new HBK T shirt available on shopww dot com. Fuck this shirt
stop, it's awful. Triple he says. If there's one thing I hated
chilling, I'm thinking he fucking won the World Series for the Red Sox man
like you have to give him a little bit of a break. Sean says,
I don't think that was a good time. Flaire says it was great.
And they smile and that's the end of it. Okay, it's fun
comedy between friends or among friends. Jr. Says you had the perfect view
of this huge, bright Times Square billboard from his hotel room last night,
so he gets a little complaint in there. As they show the establishing shot
outside the building, Cranky Jr. The best, the best, Oh yeah,
and for the first time it's historic. Boss the Intercontinental Champion Jeff Hardy
takes on the ww World Champion Randy Orton here at the Rumble. As it
historic because this happened to the Rumble for the first time. Yeah, yeah,
pretty much. But before that, Maria has to come to the ring
and here she comes again. My good medicine. Every Bretz he tacked manin,
do not it out it on and d in shut off my TV.
All this bullshit. I want to read them from the pay per view.
It sounds ten years old. Uh all right, awful? What's up all
you stars and studs in New York? Oh stop it first ever will rumble
kiss cam. You know, there's a reason why there has never been a
kiss cam before this, and they have stupid idea. Two people. This
woman's like no, no, no. This guy turns toward and she's not
gonna do it. No. I'm like, I think it's hilarious. Number
one, She's like no, but then she kind of eventually relents because like,
I don't understand, why why are you there together? These people?
Couples are not. I can never tell. I can't. I can't tell
the the next one, the second couple they are, they go right for
it, and then the guy grabs her tit. Are you serious? I
missed that? Curious he grabs her tit, he goes and then cops a
feel and she like pushes him away from it, like like his hand is
like he goes right for it. Amazing. I was like, holy shit,
fucking going for it? Uh. And then this third couple they're they're
reluctant, but then all of a sudden, there's like massive tongue action going
on, just like grotesque almost. And the last one she kisses her hand
and plants it on his fucking cheek. I can't tell which one doesn't want
to do the kiss cam because at one moment it seems like he wants it
and she doesn't, and then later on it's almost like he she wants it
and he doesn't want it, and it's just like, you know what,
not a good idea. All right, let's not do it. I mean
because you older don't know. Yeah, what if you do come across two
strangers, like that's disgusting. Yeah. I kind of think like that's like
a real risk, Like you don't know that you assume someone's a couple.
I don't know if you give these people the heads up or not. But
it doesn't in a couple of cases, it does not seem like it.
Yeah, but Ashley interrupts before this can get out of control as Maria says,
thank you so much New York and of course her song I'm Gonna love
you nice, I'm gonna do here, right. I pulled up the uh
uh the lyrics for Maria's song, so here we go, h here she
comes again like good medicine. Every step she takes, my blood is flowing.
Okay to wear go on and on for days. She that's her promo.
She's got a hold on me. I need the remedy. Sleep.
Hold her would be a cure for me. I can't keep going on this
way. She's at the top of her game. She don't know my aim.
The future is looking bleak. She's out of my league. Look Out,
She'll tear your heart out. Look Out, She'll rock your world.
There's no doubt she comes and goes when she wants to. I do anything
she wanted me to. Who would blame me with legs like that? And
just for Ashley, please, let's get Let me light the hard all right,
light a fire Ashley Masorrow. You better hold on tight, because I'm
gonna love you nice. I'm gonna do it right. Let me light a
fire in you tonight. Brother? What are you the sportatorium? What my
eyes have never seen someone who looked like you. I wonder if you dream
of my hand loving you? Oh my god, this is Vince. Yeah,
because I know I do every day and every night, and I know
I'll lose control if I can't crush this appetite. Oh my god, this
dream is eating me alive. Can't you see I'm burning up inside. I
pray I will not be denied. Oh my god, Let's let a fire
tonight. Let's play the music loud. Let's build the flames up high and
burn into the ground. You better hold on tight, because I'm gonna love
you nice. I'm gonna do it right. Let me light a fire in
you tonight. I've got a perfect plan to have you in my arms today.
You're so well in doubt, and there's no price I won't pay.
Wow, And then it repeats, it's the chorus repeats, Wow, Jim,
I've had lyrics. I need you to make a song for Ashley.
My lyrics, your notes, Let's create. What's the album. I'm gonna
be called Vince. It'll be Forcible Entry too. She gets the mic,
what's up, New York? Sorry to have to come out like this cares.
I feel so bad. I also feel bad like that she gets she
gets killed out there. Sorry, that's a bad, bad way to say
it. But like she just and you know what, usually and it probably
is because of her unfortunate demise, but like normally like oh, get off
my fucking TV. But here I'm just like I just feel bad for her,
Like I just I feel awful. And again, like I said,
I always kind of liked her. I always thought she was you know that
she was that I always liked her, and I was I was. I'm
not happy that you know how it all ended up for not at all?
Well, she says, sorry to have to come out here like this is
really you know. I got a call last week, she says, from
Hugh Hefner, and he wanted to know Maria if you were interested in deposing
for Playboy. Before she can answer, Santino comes out with someoneysing the pocket
that's to come, that's still to come, and Santino behind him is flanked
by someone with the underneath the black blanket and just a sense of Santino's theme
song, if you could uh d go on? Could you play it please
in your ear butts and do it? Yeah, it's been a fucking quarter
in that jukebox. I hope our fans April seventh come with pocket change.
That's all I can say. In Philly jukebox doesn't take paper money pal like
a fucking greasy Spoons diary. But the song is entitled Victoria. We're about
to blow this thing up. He is really big fucking commercial. Stop it,
stop it. I don't want your commercial. I don't need your product.
Grammarly will help you write emails that make it sound like you paid attention.
Here we go, here we go, Oh ship something, send me
memorial gat sor oh very very nice. You're sitting there into the night,
fucking Sentino. Are they saying Italian words in there? I mean, I
don't know, you know what. Let's uh Santina Morella, Oh my god?
Lyrics? Uh yeah, Robbie do her me he so no corneal show
folk cool. So there are words in there. There are words. Let's
see what it's translated to. The victory is mine. It is mine,
It's mine. And evil the sun who burns the world with his fire and
the air and the light which lasts forever over time, I will reach my
day. I will possess the power. Victory is mine. I bow to
history, to all the colors that have shown the way, sacrificing everything.
And Evil, the sun that burns the day with its fire and the air
and the light which lasts forever over time. My turn to write the story
again. Victory is mine. I feel the sun who burns the world with
his fire, and I see the light that lasts forever. And now it's
my turn to write the story again. I will reach my day. I
will possess the power. The victory is mine. The victory is mine,
It's mine. And the sea, the sun who burns the It's unbelievable.
It's fire and the air and the night. It's all in fucking you know.
But this is the translation, which lasts forever over time, and the
evil and I like the evil in the sun who burns the world with this
fire and the air and the light, which lasts forever over time. Wow,
as heavy and I expected. Yeah, it's definitely got some dark undertones
or just random verbiage. Really. Santino comes out says the answer is no
to what I don't know. But he says, nobody wants to see Maria
with no clothes on, and they pop and she makes her smiley face like,
of course you do. Don't listen to these people. Of course they're
going to cheer. They're from New York. They have nothing to cheer for
it, and he goes to the Mets and the Yankees chokers. Yeah,
the whole I'm a mosquito. I'm scared to lose the play Let's lose the
playoffs, so you get all that heat on them and Nickson Rangers not even
good enough to be called chokers. In fact, the only thing you have
to cheer from is the football team from a New Jersey. In here,
he goes this little, this whole thing here, Yeah, I got that.
In fact, the only thing you have to cheer for he's a football
team from New Judy. Oh woo. Eli Bath and Plaxica say some more
like blessers than athletes. For me, the only thing giant about that Tim
is the giant chunk job they're going to pull in the Super Bowl. Mark
my words. Oh they didn't hurts, they didn't choke. Let's go Giants,
chant centenais nobody cares about the giants, and Lawler says, why is
Maria still with this guy? And decision time for Maria? Are you interested?
She's handed the mic, She milks the reaction. She goes, I
don't know. I mean, do you guys really want to see me pose
for Playboy? See my bare breath? And vagina and sadly and I don't
know, I'm actually shocked the crowd cheers for it. Yep, like all
these men here would like to see her naked, absolutely, and sintinais Maria.
These people are like cheap if you were to ask them who would like
hepatitis? They're all going to cheer you do. Look, she says,
Look, actually I have the roll rumble to prepare for which I'm going to
win. This is Santino talking in the meantime. I have something for you,
Ashley, my special friend. Please come into the ring. And so
this ghostly apparation makes its way into the ring, the ghost of Christmas Future
or whatever. Santino says, Since you people like to see the boobies,
I got something for you. And he rips off the black planket and underneath
this is fucking chubby oaf big Dick Johnson. Is it? Oh? Really?
Akaww writer Christopher to Joseph and a thong oiled spelling over his belt line
with the Patriots logo painted on his stomach and nineteen and zer on his ass
and a Tom Brady jersey cut off like a middriff yep. And it was
funny to them that he would be naked, half naked, dancing around and
be fat. No, I think it's funny to say, to say a
fat guy jingle his belly on DVD. Alright, fat fuck ha, look
at look at me? Look at Chris, get over Chris, get over
here. Cat Me tell you something, somebody. We're gonna have fun making
fun. Pal, We're gonna have you. We're gonna have fun making fun.
Pal let me Hey, Hey, uh uh uh, Johnny get over
here. Come on, boss, what's up? Boss? Yeah? Did
you get ahold of Lord and Michael? Where is he at? What?
Seawn Michaels, Hi, Sean Michaels, Sewn Michaels. He's over in the
back. He's getting ready for the royal rombo. No, no, damn
it, you idiot. I want Lorden Michaels here. Who oh imagine putting
John Laurie edis in charge of getting Lorne Michaels to the show. Get me
Lord Michaels. I want to him that I can be a writer for something
in my life. You got the wrong Lord Michaels. How the fun did
you find somebody else named Lad? I found a guy named Yeah. What
you were looking for? Michael's right? You were looking for corn on the
cob by Michaels right? What huh? I just I don't know. It
gives him a bag of clothes, you said more. Michael's right, gives
him like craft gives him crafts. Yeah, he said, you wanted me
to get some stuff at Michael's. You're more morn paint at Michael's. Right,
No, I wanted to go to Rockefeller Center and get me lorn Michaels.
Oh I didn't do that, that's clear. I wonder what Dick ever
saw, by the way, thinks of his old pal Vince these days.
I don't asked him what he thinks. So said, Now there's rubber chickens
in the ring, and Ashley beats up Big Dick Johnson with them and wears
them out. I mean, and then her music. I guess she won
this battle. I guess she throws up her hands and her music plays so
sad it hurts, it really hurts. And they go to an ad Kelly.
Kelly's on a beach chair and another shirtless wonder if fat guy they have
sidles up to her lifeguard chair, trying to get her attention, but she
but she's not paying attention, so he pretends to be drowning and they get
this glamorous you know, glamorous, I should say, a bay Watch shot
of Kelly running with a smile on her face. She does chest compressions,
and finally he needs CPR. And then instead of Kelly Kelly administering at his
plan, May Young comes in and sticks her tongue down his throat and they
have a shot where she like wiggles her tongue in front of the camera lens
for a second and he's convulsing. And this is a WrestleMania ad by the
way, if you're wondering in case, in case, yeah, so you
got this whole, this whole piece of shit thing happening, and it's for
WrestleMania, right because it's in Orlando near the beach, when if you go
to where that stadium was, it couldn't be further from the coastline. Man
not to mention the fact that Baywatch took place in Malibu. So stupid.
And then back to Adam Lay speaking of stupid, let's hear we go.
Wow. You hear that he's laughing? Wow? Oh wow, hit it
again. Huh listen to the laugh at the beginning. Yeah, I mean
wait, come on, yeah, there we go. No, h sometimes,
wow. Twenty thousand plus fans, of course, Madison Square Garden has
been sold out for weeks and everyone in anticipation of tonight's rubble here. Another
man who's been waiting anxiously with anticipation. His name is Jeff Party. In
fact, in fact, in fact, it could be said that Jeff Party
has waited all his life for tonight's golden moment. It has proven, certainly
in recent weeks, if not his entire career, that he will do anything,
I mean anything to make history. You thought that was pat want I
know something? What that clip you just played off the peacock's feet, Yes,
doctored. Oh it was even worse. Oh my god. Another man
who's been waiting anxiously with anticipation. His name is Jeff Harmy Party. Another
man who's been waiting anxiously with anticipation. His name is Jeff Harmy Party.
Jeff Harvey, Harvey Harvey. He says, yes, they ken hard to
find a original pay per view broadcast, so I took that from a YouTube
video that somebody made a compilation of Mike Adami fails if you want to find
it. Oh my god, Jeff Harvey, come on first night in the
job. Another man who's been waiting anxiously with anticipation. His name is Jeff
HARMI Party, Now play yours again and hear how slickly they edited it,
but you can still hear the booze from the crowd jumping on them for getting
it wrong. Wow, twenty thousand plus fans. Of course, Madison Square
Garden has been sold out for weeks and everyone in anticipation of tonight's roil rubble.
Here. Another man who's waiting anxiously with anticipation. His name is Jeff
Party. In fact, in fact, in fact, it could be said
that Jeff Party has waited all his life. Another man who's been waiting anxiously
with anticipation. His name is Jeff Harmy Party. I mean. Also the
fact that they also took away the song for whatever reason. Well that song
was added by the YouTuber. Oh I see, yeah, that's why I
made that that point. Yeah, but that's why he had to say three
times and and and because they were just boot him out of the building.
It's bad, I mean, and I feel awful for him now too,
because of his dementia. Yes, yes, that he potentially had this dementia.
You know that is fucking football career caused concussions and ship That's all there.
So we go to a package for Orton versus Hardy Buzz cut Orton all
skinny. Oh, this is the this is the neck like a stack of
dimes. Uh uh uh. Randy Orton kind of yep. When I was
young, my dad told me I'd be the greatest wrestler in the world.
They show picks of him with his dad and Ernie Ladden under the Giant and
Hulk Cogan backstage, and then him training in OVW. I knew what I
was gonna do, what I was meant to do, bread to do,
and they show him throwing just these god awful punches at a punching bag.
Well, his dad holds it. Yeah no. And then Vince gives Randy
his first opportunity on SmackDown and he pins a hardcore Holly and they show triple
hing. Randy Orton is every gift a man can be given, and how
he breathes wrestling and it's in his blood and he has confidence because he knows
he's good. The man of Destiny they called him. And then the the
point in his life where he was the evolution of this business. Oh my
god. They show that one clip they have of Bob Orton Sr. For
a second, that black and white clip, and then they show Wharton beaten
fully if the world and then for the world title getting the VIC they don't
show ben Wa of course, or not to show him hoisting the belt at
SummerSlam, and then that ticker tape celebration they did and rk owing legends like
Jake Roberts and Nick Foley and Harley Race and spitting at them and Piper.
He even rk hul Cochin in the back of a car to set up that
Summer Slam match, if you remember, I do, And then they flashed
to Jeff with the guitar chords. My main concern is going out there,
and I mean it's like this, this whole, this whole fucking Jeff Hardy
thing. It's like this, this music, the song, it sounds like
a leftover song from like a nineties movie montage sequence. It's unbelievable. You
know. They go back and show him as a kid too, and clips
of him on home video playing and getting ready for the for wrestling. And
the song is called Don't Look Down by Scott Nikolai and Ronald A. Dunlap.
And you better believe if you look this song up on YouTube, all
the comments are here for Jeff Hardy. Do you remember this Jeff Hardy song,
Oh my God, I play this when I have self doubt or whatever.
Oh fuck that the lyrics. Yeah, outside, its raining and I'm
still warm and dry. Everybody's complaining, but I'm so happy I could cry.
Never needed a reason to make this a better place, even when there's
no pleasing, gonna put a smile upon my face. Don't look down,
never let go, don't look down. You'll know all there is to know.
Have you ever been lonely? Has the world brought you to your knees?
Your dedication and faith will set you free. Never needed a reason to
let somebody in. It's surely going to please you, might even change the
state you're in. Don't look down, never let go, don't look down.
You'll know all there is to know. Don't look down, never turn
away. Don't look down, no matter what they say, don't look down,
never let go. Don't look down. You'll know all there is to
know. Don't look down, never turn away. Don't look down, no
matter what they say, don't look down. And during all that song,
they show him taking the middle rope with the gun thing, or it's right
boss, and I can't stand climbing various ladders, and as they show this
dreamy sort of like inspirational sequence and Orton cuts in, he keeps talking about
like, yes, he's talking about how you know, like basically, you
know, not knowing if he was gonna like come out of these moves alive.
And it's like, then, why are you fucking doing it? Man?
Because I have to live on the edge. I just have to fuck
off. I was born to live on the edge. It's just something they've
said ever since I was a kid. I can't I just don't understand.
And I think tonight I'm going to become WW champion and realize the dream I've
had ever since I was a kid, and never thought I you want well,
you know, you know some see the writing on the wall. I
understand that, but I understand, I think, but I think what you
need to do right now is just to kind of stay modest. That's right,
stay modest to the top. Then they show work and cutting in with
that like ECW effect, and now he's getting dark in this package jumping off
the top and tron is is Jeff Hardy. They show him like losing his
mind and doing things to try to kill Randy Orton and Randy says something about
Matt's appendix. He hurt Matt Matt's appendix, And the closing shot is him
in a neck brace Jeff Hardy that is being carded out for something he did
to himself, throwing himself off the fucking Titan tron. So here comes Jeff
Hardy out at MSG with the intercontinal title on his waist and the paper toilet
paper hanging out of his ass. JR. Says, I hope you can
feel this special moment. Seriously, like it's two thousand and eight and he's
still he has a rag sticking out of his ass pocket. Looks like he
had an ass of rags get out of his ass pocket. Probably whatever last
week. This top guy though, uh look at him. Look how badly
the people want him to be WW champion boss listen to them. I didn't
like no fucking I mean, I didn't even. I didn't. Here's the
thing, I didn't even when when this, when they were building this up,
I didn't even Not only did I not want them to do it,
I knew they weren't going to pull the trigger on it. I knew there
is no fucking way they're pulling the trigger on it. Wow, Jerr says,
I hope he can feel the special moment. Thirty six men have held
the ww title. Can this man realize that dream? Sign? Proud of
you, Jeff, only Warrior in Triple H? Jerrer point out, really,
what only thirty six men? That's what he said. Yeah, it's
interesting, and only two had held both the IC and World at the same
time, Warrior and Triple H. And uh when did Triple H hold both?
That's a good question. I guess you could say when he cashed in,
No, cashed in when he converted. No, he didn't have the
Icy belt. Then it's because he refused to win the Icy belt. He
you know what? Oh my oh god, don't I don't think I want
to know this. They're counting this as him hold us when he beat Caine
or RVD, when they when they when they get rid of all the secondary
belts, Oh, emerge all the time I can think of. But also,
wasn't the WDE title. No, it wasn't. That's true world title.
So that doesn't does that? Really? Oh my god? Hold on,
I got a man, I'm trying to think of any other time that's
a that's a really good guess. The only other time that he held the
intercontinental title, you know, when he was world Champion caliber was with Austin
so Triple H. You know, when they split the belts for the first
time and Brock had it on SmackDown, Triple H not only refused to win
the intercontinental title and carry it his Ross title, but he insisted on bringing
back the world title, and then he merged the Intercontinental title into that belt
anyway, So he still wanted to win the intercontinental title. Let's not like
he said, all right, the accindal titles for a different purpose, you
go serve that purpose. No, I'm not going to win it. You're
going to make a new belt and then I'm going to take that belt out
of the equation for all the other guys. I'm sure he had nothing to
do with it. I'm sure it was all uh Vince's decision. I'm sure
it was made by committee and he wasn't even in the room, et cetera,
et cetera. I mean, the fact they as a thing sad to
put that on the par with how monumental it was that warrior had both belts
and how huge that was. It's it's where we get this whole idea that
the intercontinental title is a stepping stone to the world. Yeahim and Savage really
right, nobody else really did it and made the jump. I mean,
I guess Pedro, but I mean it wasn't really a thing. It was
like that was your level. I don't know. So, uh. He
throws the toilet paper to the crowd when it takes the ropes. It's kind
of like a keepsake. And then hey, dudn' dn't dun dun dun dun
dun dun. Hey, Hey, nothing you can say, nothing's gonna change
what you've done to Hey, now it's time to shine and I'm gonna take
what's mine. Take was made. He hated that song, by the way,
Hey, what was that? He hated that song? Did he really?
I remember him saying he's him saying it once? Yeah, Oh my
god, that's hilarious. And he saw the spinning title even though Sena wasn't
the champ. Well that was that was the belt. Don't forget it was.
That's all it is. But it always seemed like it was just a
long way back to Sina as long as they didn't change the belt design.
It was like Okay, I know, right, you always knew this is
an interregnum run and knew. Jared calls him one of the most naturally gifted
he's seen. I'm gonna say, yeah, this is I'm looking here and
I believe that Yeomen and Yemen and Yemen and it's a mistake. The only
triple h championship, the Interconnal Championship brain that coincided with a world title was
was that one? It was, Well, why isn't it all? Yeah,
because that women ninety eight? Yeah, yeah, no, nope,
that's it. That's the one they're including when Caine p Kane. Yeah yeah.
And oh and this that's the Oh no, that's the match. That's
the match where he had to take his mask off. Yeah, that's right.
Well, if Randy Orton was the legend killer, then Jeff Hardy is
the legend thriller. I believe they said that. And what j R.
Asked Jerry Lawler what Jeff Hardy winning the world title would mean? Right?
Hang in your opinion, what would it mean or the era of Jeff Hardy?
Who know the mean? Or to all the great fans for w fans,
oh to us, what do you think would mean? That Jeff Hardy
became. But w W mean champion here tonight? Well, first of all,
you say the words here tonight. It wouldn't be a better place,
It wouldn't be a more fitting location to have that happen than right here in
the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. But what would it mean to Jeff
Hardy? What would mean the fulfillment of a lifelong and I mean lifelong dream?
Hey, fat ass, why don't you ask the king, the gentleman
next to you, what he thinks this time? Championship would mean? Right
for Jeff Hardy? Anything out, anything else, events besides just that.
That's all you wanted to say to No, I want to I got things
I'm gonna have him say. You and King, what I want you to
do is I want you to say, well you know something, you fat
fuck, your piece of shit lard ass bitch. It's gonna mean a lot
more when you're not around me, when you don't sit next to me like
a fat fuck, like a the still faced bitch, stay on a message
that Lawler, Lawler, do you want a job tomorrow? Do you want
to be employed tomorrow? Say it to that mother fucking oath next to you,
that cow, that bovine when they dressed him up in the sailor's outfit,
that let's do everything we can to make him look like a bitch.
He humiliated the guy. I mean, seriously, they just like all they
wanted to do was was was just make him it just they I have no
doubt that that Vince mick Man's goal in the abuse of the Oh my god,
he looks like such a dope, such a dope. He's so unhappy
to be in the outfit, fucking like idiot Taz over there and that fucking
oh Man. I like, you know, I Vince mric Man really wanted
to do. You know, I'm almost positive he wanted to to to send
j R. To a mental Hospit like he wanted to drive him that fucking
crazy that he just have to go away. Then he pay him visits.
What's up, pal? Hey pal? How's it going? Looking good?
Leave you well? Actually, I can't say. You look like you lost
well, you look like you gained weight. Huh. How is it in
here? Pal? They treating you well? How's the food? Yeah,
exactly, you have barbecue sounds on that Huh? Good or bad? You're
eating it. Huh, you can see that? Let me poke you.
Oh shit, your little dough boy who said, oh you bet eating lately?
A ship? Pal? I see your face still doesn't move. Huh.
Didn't fix that. I thought that'd be in the mental asylum though.
That'd be the first thing they'd do, is is Uh, he's working on
that face. So you could, you know, emote properly. But nope,
still you're still expressionless. You think you know what we're going to get
out of here? Pal, I mean, listen, I'm gonna tell you
something. I'm I'm actually considering telling them to put a muzzle on you.
How do you feel about that? Because he doesn't just want to do it,
He wants to give the guy the idea that he actually can prevent it
before he does it. Anyway, do you have any thought suggestions? I
think he says. I think he says, I've been thinking about having them
put a muzzle on you. How do you feel about that? How do
you think I feel about it? And before we get to the match,
just look one more time at the picture, please. I imagine he goes.
I imagine that he is in a dressing room. He puts himself in
the Mayor and he went, work here. Why do I work? Man?
Oh man? Exactly? He trace half like kind of a light sensibility
about it. So good, all right, Brandy Orton verus Jeff Hardy for
the WW Championship. Yeah, let's go Hardy, Let's go Wharton fifty to
fifty. Right, they pop for Jeff, but they also have an Orton
contingent. There's an Orton. There's an Orton contingency. They lock up and
roll over the ropes before the break and Hardy shoves him into a headlock and
a push off and a tackle down goes warton headlock takeover by Jeff Hardy.
Jerry Lawler says, yep here, yep, yep. The excitement, the
thrill of having over twenty thousand great fans here inside whoa inside Madison Square Garden.
There's something about the WW. I mean, we're you with it's high
definition era. It's a it's like a new beginning cut here for town.
And what what would it be like to have that young man Jeff Hardy lead
us into a new era, a new era because of some TV equipment we
bought. I mean, I also hold on, I gotta hear how he
said it exactly the thrill of having over fans here inside who inside Madisons worker.
And there's something about the ww There's something about the WWE. Yep,
there is take that and take that however you want. Oh my god,
Jair says, dictate a fast paced take a shot or with the heads or
account of the headlock. And Jair puts over Wharton's long legs as a unique
asset that he has back up inverted atomic drop and Hardy does that awful I
know that awful ankles to the growing thing he does. Oh yeah, he
jumps up in the air and lands on you with the heels of his feet.
See the dropkick gets to get your shot glass ready, Jair says.
A flurry of offense, quickly paced, huge running dropkick under the ropes,
and Orton flies into the wall like crazy and kind of a Crims's neck.
The way he lands against the wall. Oh my god, that maybe again
this is this is the Orton. I will never I will never take away
the fact that Orton, that Randy Orton always finds ways to sell moves in
a way that looks threateningly real. Yeah, the way he sold the brass
knuckles punch an elimination chamber from Logan, Paul refolded his ankle underneath his body.
Yep, he does it so well like it's it's really his greatest gift.
The thing is the fact that he he just I think of the super
kick from Sean Michaels. It's absolutely this now. The way he just lands
with his neck all like twisted and broke looking, it's really he's really an
incredible There's no person who better sells a kill shot, I agree, than
Randy Orton. Yeah, like a stunner from Kevin Owens or any of that
stuff. He's he just sells a kill shot like he got killed. Oh
so replays take a little bit of the um fat of it, unfortunately,
because you realize that Orton had his hands down first before he hit the floor
and went into the wall, so we had like not nearly as much momentum
as at first seemed like. I'm always against replays in wrestling that make the
move look more fake than the live take. Did. I agree? Sometimes
they can't help themselves, are just too late, but when they realize it.
Anyway, Hardy levels him on the outside where the pescado dive and then
the lawler says he's got an adult Randy Orton. What kind of adult are
we talking about? An adult Randy Orton? A drug adult Randy Orton,
maybe, instead of a child Randy Orton. An adults Randy Orton speaking of
a child, Randy Orton stumbles over to time keeper Marky Eaton and snatches the
belt away from him, and then Hardy cuts him off as Orton looked to
be taking off and just quitting the match. The exchange in the aisleway into
the table goes Randy Orton into the ring and the action goes and Hardy tries
to springboard back in, but Randy Orton cuts him off with a dropkick in
mid flight. Yes he does. They like that. Orton suplexis chef on
the floor, brings him back in for two count, does some garving stumps
and a knee drop and gets another two. Orton to the crowd, you
believe in him. I love that. I'm okay with them talking to the
crowd, just not talking to each other with dialogue. Absolutely, I love
them talking to the crowd. That's what they're supposed to do. Yep,
is he your hero? He should say, look at him Hardy side steps
and Orton hits the floor. Jr. Says Orton tastes the concrete and Madison
Square garden even though there's matts and carpet everywhere covering every square inch of the
concrete completely covered. I've seen the MSG concrete and this is not it.
That's right. They never have the concrete exposed during events like this. Hardy
the apron and launches with a clothesline. The only time it's ever exposed is
during the summer. YEP. During the summertime it's exposed because there's no ice.
But even then they usually put the matt coverings on top to protect the
floor. Yep. Indeed launches with the clothesline off the apron to Jeff Hardy.
That scores back in. He gets a two misses, a corner charge
and Orton gets too off. That then gets a sleeper hold and then a
power slam. That does Randy Orton that gets too Wharton does that bulldog choke
type sleeper not the straight sleeperhle Yes, when we kind of tuck you under
his armpit and just squeezes. How that How that isn't an illegal choke?
I still don't. I don't know well, because it just depends. Is
it around the throat or is around the chin? Always around the throat.
I think JR. I could be wrong. I could have misheard. I'm
willing to accept that I misheard, but I'm pretty sure I heard JR.
Call Randy Orton a simple son. Oh I missed that one. A simpleton?
Maybe it definitely it wouldn't fit either. I could be wrong. Maybe
he says something else, but I could have sworn I heard him say that
Randy Orton was a simple son. We have to ask Bob Orton Jr.
I guess was he simple or was he very difficult? Right? Hardy gets
up and elbows out of the sleeper hold Orton with an Irish whip, but
Hardy turns it into kind of a sling blade takedown, and j R.
Says Orton is on the way to being the best ww mean champion ever.
Oh fuck me, in history. I cannot stand that ship. That's such
a Vince Nickman thing of calling anybody who like It's like, no, dude,
he's not. He's not even close. Like Vince is still trying to
get over losing Hogan. You know by exactly this is what it seems like
like it's it's it's there's always been that that thing that every you know,
every champ whoever is like the face of the company. This time is the
greatest champion of all time, right, or like you know every WrestleMania is,
this will be the greatest Wrestmania of all time. And it's like they
always say it before, right, the returns are in. You know,
so Hardy with a forearm and a clothes line in a back yelbow. Guess
why Jarrisy is quickening the pace? Actually, he says, and I quote
Hardy again, you can feel it, see it, Hardy trying to quicken
the pace. It's all about pacing for Jeff. Hardy. Quicken the pace
takes some chances. He said, all those things back to back, just
like that. In my life, it's just atrocious, it's insulting, it's
unnecessary, it's it's bullshit. Hardy with a great whisper in the wind out
of the corner that gets a very close one two after he levels Randy Orton.
Then Jeff with a push up drop kick in the corner, takes the
shirt off and the ladies pop gets up top it. Orton rolls out to
the apron, so Jeff can't hit him with the swanton. However, says
just rolling all over the floor, Orton hangs out in the apron, and
that allows Jeff to jump off the top rope and hit him with the missile
drop kick, knocking Randy Orton off the apron. Well, and then there's
there's this whole thing here, this dialogue between lawler and and JR. About
what Jeff's doing, and Jr's responds to a little dark If you ask me,
what's he contemplating? Who knows? Only Jeff Harty knows this suicidal offense.
It's more than high rest Yikes, Yeah, I'm no, JR.
It's a little rough pell At least the TV cords have been used already,
so they're not going to go there. Yeah, that's true. And then
Jeff, with is back to Orton on the floor, decides, you know
what I mean, we got a sacrifice, right, I mean? What
is what good am I? Right? What purpose do I serve in the
world? What more can you do? Unless I'm taking flight exactly with a
high risk of destroying my body and the rest of my life. And so
Jeff climbs back to Orton on the floor Moon salt press, something he almost
never does, and actually came up quite a bit short. But I think
it's safe to say at the Royal Rubble two thousand and eight, Jeff Hardy
Moon salted for the industry, I would say, yes, that he is
here to sacrifice and sacrifice for the great are Good Jr. As you can
imagine, calls it a leap of faith, and after barely connecting on the
moon saw, Jeff Hardy rolls Red New Orton back into the ring at the
count of about eight, and as soon as he does that, he goes
for the boot to the gut, going for the twist to fade, and
just like this, Orton breaks free RKO one two three, nice finish RK.
I want to nowhere. This maybe one of the first times it was
said in such blunt terms, I think so. I think this is definitely
before the meme started, right absolutely. It was fourteen minutes and three seconds.
Randy Orton defeats Jeff Hardy to retain the WWB Championship at the two thousand
and eight Royal Rumble. Good match. Maybe one or two times a year
I go back and just go through a whole bunch of those in those arcades.
I don't know where that just they are so great. They're so awesome,
like the like in Catching a Plane. Yeah, so fucking funny.
The girl falls on her face in her kitchen. Yeah, of course right,
like appears in the in the in the window, in like the window,
so fucking bizarre. Oh God, that's how you protect the finish by
the way that you hit it, like you know, when the when the
guy's completely on full energy and closing it in a victory. But if you
can just get that RKO off, you take all of his progress away from
him and pin his ass yep, And you can't kill a push with a
cleaner pin if you ask me, And I'm okay with it. Randy Orton
retains good match. Orton music comes down. They give Hardy his moment with
silence so we can get up to a standing ovation. Wow. They give
it to him and some hearty ch consolation prize to the fact that you know
we didn't pull a trigger. Yeah, and there's Joey Styles for the first
time of the whole broadcast. No no ECW matches, but we're here for
the royal rumble telling us for a couple of minutes. Check Joey absolutely ultimate
opportunity to thirty w B superstars tonight. Yeah this this is hearing Joey Styles
recite Vince McMann verbiage is tremendous. Really and then it gives and this is
it leads to a nice little Well I don't know if it's nice yet,
but did you include the whole package? Not the whole package, just the
PA statistic the only match in WWE that affords the ultimate opportunity to thirty WWE
superstars in a single night. But you want to talk stats, check this
out. The past seven winners of the Row Rumbo Match have gone on to
the main event of WrestleMania and won the championship. Uh not true, really
true, Taz Well, neither The Undertaker Norway Mysteria were in the main event
of their WrestleMania matches. You don't understand whatever, No matter where in the
card, it is the rumbel winner going for the title is a main event.
Yeah no, sorry, it's not how it works. No, no,
no, Actually, the last two years they were not in the main
event. It was it was not a main event match, del rio.
And guess what this one also not a main event match, and let me
think you're two and nine? Yeah, next year, isn't that? That's
Chamouse? I think who won and not a main event match. I didn't
close. Wasn't it the opener? Yeah? Yeah? Oh god, yeah.
They introduced two belts and the rumbles ceased to meet as much instantly.
Not necessarily true. I don't know. I don't necessa agree with that because
I think, you know, brock Lasner winning it was uh was fine.
Yeah. What I mean is that the rumble winner going for the title has
to compete with another quote unquote world title. Yeah, sure, in terms
of like perception of main event, whereas if it was one belt, you
know, there wouldn't be this sort of like, well, which of the
two title matches is actually the main event? Bullshit? You know, sorry,
it wasn't Shamuz. It was Randy Orton in two thousand and nine,
he did win, He did not win the championship, but he was in
the main event. Okay, Edge won. The following year, he did
not main an event WrestleMania twenty six. Alvaltril did not main event, Shamouse
did not main event, John Cena did main event, Batista main evented.
Roman Reigns main invented. Randy Orton, I don't even know. He didn't
main an event WrestleMania thirty three, did he He's never made event in his
life really yet? Wasn't that a Roman Brock match? Why is there no
ro room for Wrestlmingia thirty two? Yeah? Roman, Well Triple H won
the world title in that. Oh yeah, could they face Roman? Right?
But he won the championship by doing that? Yeah? He won a
title in the in the match. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. WrestleMania
thirty three was Rome and and Undertaker in the main event. Right, and
so ran Yorton did not main event. He had that Bray Wyatt fucking special
effects match. Right. Schinsucky did not main event seth Rawlins definitely did not
make an event at Wrestling YA thirty five. Don't forget right opening match again?
Yep, yep. Drew McIntyre main invented. Does that count? No?
No Edge Edge main invented? Yea god? Edge is a two time
Royal Rumble winner. Sure is? Oh my god? Uh, Brock Brock
main invented. Yeah, and Cody's main invented. We'll see if Cody made
events this year. Maybe maybe he won't. Maybe he'll open WrestleMania for day
one. Oh my god, imagine Roman versus Cody is the opener and job
Oh and then they put like Seth, they put Seth versus l a night.
No, no, no, what's gonna happen? Is this? So?
So they put Cody Cody and Roman Reigns opens WrestleMania on Saturday. On
Saturday, okay, and the final match is Roman Reigns versus Rock on Sunday.
Why can't Drew McIntyre and Seth Rollins be the last one? That's what
we all came to see. They're gonna be in the middle of the card
on Sunday. Oh oh, it's gonna be a sad state of affairs coming
up. Oh man, they do a big by the Numbers package. You
know, I canna go through all the numbers. I like those. I
like that do a good job with them. Yeah, I've always liked the
those are those are fun? Five hundred and sixty nine men since eighty eight.
I tried, but this this, this, this thing does include a
clip of a Battle Royal from nineten ninety four. This one does. Yeah,
yep, and they you also weird too. They're playing all this stock
NFL music want to make like inside the NF well a little London, NFL
films percent Why why are these guys seeing their breath you know, bum the
little the little, a little London. They say that five hundred and sixty
nine men since eighty eight boom boom boom boom bur boom boom boom bura boom
boom boom boom boom boom boom pur boom boom boom boom boom bura boom boom
boom boom boom bur boom boom boom bum boom boom boom boom boom bura boom
boom boom boom bura boom boom. They say, sixty two twelve is the
record for Ray that has since been eclipsed by Gunter. I think, right,
yeah, I believe Gunter. And and then did Cody break it again?
I don't even remember now, just fucking watched it. No, but
hold on, because what about Daniel Brian in the Greatest Royal Room? Does
that not count? No? They would say, yeah, another shit traditional
rumble matches. Oh I see, Oh my god, the greatest rumble They're
so fucking stupid, I swear to God, so pathetic man. There's not
a single like meaningful thing they can't just like render meaning Listen, I know
they just they need to ruin everything they really do. They're just let's see
here, so most victories that doesn't matter I need Oh wow, runner runners
up. Wow. Roman Reigns has the most runners up positions. He was
runner up four times. Four times. That's fascinating, heartbreaking if you're Roman.
Longest time spent in a single Royal rumble, yes, Gunta Gunta has
the traditional record at I don't know how the fuck seventy one minutes, seventy
one minutes and forty seconds. God, that's nauseating. But Daniel Bryan has
the record at seventy six minutes five seconds at the greatest Pral Crumble. Yes,
amazing, amazing. So yeah, they go through all this kind of
stuff and they say seventy three percent of winners win the big one at WrestleMania.
So that's great. I did tell you what that that track record would
go downhill starting that year. Yes, that would be that would begin not
to go back into it, but here we go. John Cena lost all
right, he lost not only did he lose the WrestleMania match, he also
lost the No Way Out match where he cashed in. All right, Randy
Orton lost to Triple h Edge. Edge lost the year after alberteldel Rio lost
the year after Chamouse was the next one to win. So between sixteen,
seventeen, eighteen and nineteen, losers, losers, losers, chamoose. Oh
yeah this and then if you look at it, yeah, it's ridiculous.
Like you know, for a while, it was like all they did was
win, win win, win, win win, no matter what. Like
you know, Yokozuna won, Brett Hart won, Sean Michaels didn't, but
he won the next year, you know, like they's just the it's just
ridiculous, like to have you should never have. Let me put it this
way, you should never have FOREI in a row lose. That diminishes the
purpose of the Royal Rumble totally. You should never have. I'll tell you
what. You can have one loss like every three years, but you should
all they should always win, They should always win. Otherwise what's the fucking
point? So true? H Well, that's that. And they say that
only four men of coming at number twenty seven to win, John Studd Yokozuna,
Brett Hard and Stone Cold, Steve Austin, Yes, and uh here
we go. Odds are they conclude this will be the greatest Royal Rumble yet.
I don't know how they get that from everything they just said, but
that's what they said. And Michael Buffer is in the WWE ring. He
sure is, and provides his only Royal Rumble intro and it is surreal to
see him in the ring. You would think you would have been a natural
for this for the beginning. I know, I know, you think you
would have been a Royal Rumble guy from the very beginning. But here he
goes. I know, usually do this, no, take it away.
It's historic, all right. He is historic. That's the only reason why
I record its. Usually I let you do this one. But oh,
ladies and gentlemen from the mecca Swarts and Entertainment, Madison Square Garden Entertainment.
Their power is the moment the world has been waiting for, the two thousand
and eight Royal Rumble. The rules are as follows. The superstars who drew
number one and number two will start. Once the match begins, another superstar
will enter every ninety seconds based upon the number drawn earlier tonight. This will
continue until all thirty superstars have entered the ring. The only way to be
eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope with both feet hitting the ground.
The last man in the ring will be declared the two thousand and eight
Royal Rumble Winner, and along with his triumphant place in his he will be
awarded a championship match at WrestleMania twenty four. And now the time has arrived.
Thirty superstars shall enter this ring, but only one will be victorious.
Are you ready, Madison Square Garden, New York City, USA? Are
you ready for the sold out standing room only thousands in attendance here at the
Garden and the millions watching around the world, Ladies and gentlemen. Let's get
ready to rumber. Amazing, amazing, it really is. He had done
I think his very first w W appearance on a Saturday Night's main event August
thirteen, two thousand and seven, Madison Square Garden, where Vander Holyfield boxed
Matt Hardy. Oh my goodness, they brought him in as the voice.
Yeah, I have don't recall that at all. And he main events.
Yeah, that's when they first brought it back when they got back with USA
and started doing him again. Yep, but yeah, this is it for
him in WW I used to do. That's how I used to to to
bring people into the uh my Madison Square Garden tours. I would I would
end my my opening spiel with let's get ready to When I say, like,
walk through Madison Square Garden, the world will same like surdly worry,
you know, and and people would ask me, are you that guy?
Oh no, they would ask that, but what yes? Yes, Idiots
from that's stupid, from from fucking you know, like the middle of nowhere
of run down rundown States would say, are you that guy? No?
You sure? Actually yes, I am that guy. Sorry, I forgot.
Oh here's the thing. I'm actually not sure. I've been you know,
I've been trying to figure it out. I'm not completely sure, but
I'm pretty sure I'm not. But I'm not one hundred percent certain that I'm
not I could. I'm not one hundred percent certain that I I'm not the
guy who stands in the middle of boxing rings and screams that I could could
be me. I just don't remember could be me. I'm just unsure at
this time. Yeah, when someone asks you a question like that, the
best answer is I don't remember. That'll that'll leave him thinking for a while,
give you a chance to make a getaway. That's funny. How funny
is the triple H mocked Michael Buffer all those years in DX, and now
the crowd is like loving the guy. Yep, yep, But there it
is, and our first entrant dome and they go nuts. The Undertaker entrant
number one, after winning at number thirty. He's a rumble curtain jerk.
I'll say the two thousand and eight rumble. Take the word curtain out by
the way, yep, flames above the entrance way and coming at number two.
Oh, by the way, when uh one Undertaker comes out, what
is Michael Cole the first thing out of his mouth representing SmackDown? For God's
sakes, you know he's actually representing his own agenda, is what he's representing?
Right? Absolutely? Entrant number one, the Undertaker, and we hear
Michael Buffer say it. He doesn't say Undertaker, he says the Undertaker.
It's so bizarre the way he does the names. It's never he like,
it's like he doesn't know how to say w W prest names, you know,
like he was he was comfortable with WCW guys, but he does not
know how to say uh WWE names, not at all. Undertiger, he's
like he emphasizes the RS so bizarre dude. Again, all three commentary teams
and play for this. This will go well. They say, every ninety
seconds a new entrant. That's a depressing sound. We'll see about that,
and uh yeah, it definitely gets to be like sixty seconds, forty five
seconds at some point I didn't take note, but some of these entrances are
so fucking fast. Taker takes his hat off and has the eyes rolling the
back of his head, and then we hear number two is this nemesis Shawn
Michaels. That was a little rematch from the year previous, and Buffer introduces
him as HBK the hard Bread Kid, and that's it, say Shawn Michaels.
Seriously, you see, like what the fuck? Like he doesn't know
what the fuck to do you think Sean Michael's wrestling name is the Heartbreak Kid?
Heartbreak? Yeah? You get that right, isn't it? Can I
remind you something here to think that these two rumble fights happened a year and
two years prior to the WrestleMania fight. Wow, it took that long to
like kind of get him together for that one on one yeah, or nanny
domination. I mean it's just crazy. Yeah, you watch the seven Rumble
and you feel like that's where they're going exactly. You really do nothing further
from the truth. Wow. And then this year, what does Michael's doing?
Oh he retires Flair and and and despite not winning the Royal Rumble and
to take her main events WrestleMania. Yeah. They asked Pritchard on the show
about the Flare retirement slot, and he's, you know, if it wasn't
going with Michaels, who got to go to and he floated Triple Ah.
I don't think he said that necessarily because that was ever the plan, but
you know the way Triple LH was kind of shoehorned into the scene the match
after seeing me the comeback, you do have to wonder if at one point
Sean was free, you know, and they reshuffled the deck because Triple H
was gonna work Flair. I'm sure he would love nothing more than that spot.
I don't know. Yeah, So they mentioned that only one guy had
ever won at number two, and that was Raymisterio. So it's gonna be
tough for Shawn Michaels. Here they face off, the bell rings, Taker
puts the dukes up, Undertaker would love to strike. They say, okay,
okay, okay, all right. So he when the bell rings,
Taker looks like he's about to start shadow boxing. He's like moving his head
dark no yeah, oh yeah, I mean he looks like a complete idiot.
He does. He looks so fucking dumb. And then JR. Says
this, and I mean both these statements about it's just awful, would love
to strike, was gonna move and dart, He's got to move in dart.
What's the problem? Mhm what? Mark Callaway is a complete goof.
He's such a fucking idiot because he has his hands up. Yeah, he's
a striker. Ah, he's strikingly annoying is what he is. I wish
you would go on strike. I know, I wish you would. I'm
glad he's retired. Idiot, go fucking make your YouTube videos, your fucking
loser. So he tries to close it on MI show, talk about how
you're how you're such a tough guy. Yeah, he's gonna be from what
I understand, pretty much across the street from us in Philly this year,
not the same night, of course, but in interesting his venue, he's
still doing those. I can't believe it. I can't beie. We're still
people are still going to it, Like do they not know what a fucking
fraud it is. That was just a bad night. Yeah, that was
probably the best night. We were just a bad crowd. We were cranky
because we had to wait outside in the cold for four hours to get in.
Oh fucking with some good fucking character. Oh yeah, yeah, oh
yeah, some guy. It's not his fault that, you know, the
like the power went out or something like that. He's the electrical worker.
Yes, remember that dude, fucking like nothing. I can do, nothing
I can do. Remember that guy passed out and like almost died in this
ce minute, This giant simoan man passed out and like in line, in
line, supposed to wait till you're in the ring to pass. Yeah,
right, so take your looks to close it on Michael's in the corner.
Michael starts out of the way, throw some chops. Whip is reversed and
Michaels goes inside out and the corner turn buckle right out of the game here
at the rumble, and then he gets goozled and dropped into the corner.
Taker starts throwing those soup bones. Boss, let's not forget coach has been
in rumble matches style, says, I think lots of people have forgotten the
coach is Madewell, that coaches has been. Sean gets hammicked across the top
rope and kicked into the crotch and take her missus are running boot and ends
up on the apron in his own right. Sean charges, but he gets
google goozled and Taker climbs over the top rope. Hbk gets free and the
countdown begins for the first time. Four three two one, and a big
boot puts down Seawn Michaels as Santino with no single lead hits the ring absolutely.
Now we've got some people in play, We've got a field underway.
Yeah, come on, this man has yet to enter. But this is
a Royal Rumble featuring hardcore Holly and anyone who caught our two thousand and five
Royal Rumble show that was what time it is? No one talks better shit
than Bob Holly Pang. And what that means is we're going to dip back
into this tradition as Rumble Entrance make their way to the ring for the two
thousand and eight edition. I'm going to turn to Hardcore Holly's book for a
little bit of insight into what makes most of them total fucking assholes, Because
Hardcore Holly looks around and he's pissed and he thinks you suck, and he's
pretty sure you fucked him one way or another, and you don't deserve a
push over him. He's been here to goddamn long. That's right. He's
a fucking veteran. He started off in the Royal Rummel. Come on,
Hardcore hall Is. He's not happy for anybody. He's just pissed for people
who didn't get the opportunity instead of the other guy. And he's looking for
people to take it out on. And it's that simple now. Sean Michaels
is already in the ring. YEP. I talked to him a few months
before I left WWE, Sean that is, and told him we're gonna have
fucking you know you like dueling Banjos and delivers. We're gonna have dueling hardcore.
Indeed, indeed, so be it. I talked to Sean a few
months before I left WB, and I told him, you know, I
didn't like you when I first got here. He laughed and said, I
don't remember how he laughed and said, I remember half my life. I
was so fucked up. I told him about the whole deal with him.
Yeah, say that. You say that so we don't have to take any
responsibility for what you did. That's why very simple wrestlers always forget for that
reason. No, no, why why do you say I don't I didn't
like you when I first came in, Like, why do you say that?
You know? It's fuck is wrong with you? Bob Holly is a
guy that wants you to know he doesn't like you, right, you know
what I mean? Or that there was a time he didn't like you,
or that, Yeah, yeah, exactly, there was one time you pissed
him off. I want to make sure that we're clear here. It's so
true that there was there between between October one of nineteen ninety four and July
fifteenth, nineteen ninety six, I hated your guts. Wow. So the
Countdown's on and here comes Sanino take Santino Morella. He's a funny gimmick and
that's about it. Hey, put you back? You are you get that
back? Larry? Double no doubt foward You're like wow, like a lot
of very good Okay. Oh, by the way, here's one for you.
Can you call me back in twenty minutes? Are you serious? You
save that one? And that's a shoe And I just heard it's a shoe
Papa Sarrow last week. Yeah, yeah, oh I stand in awe of
that one. I don't know if I can match you. I can try,
though. There's a particular podcast. There's a particular there's a particular there's
a particular there's a particular podcast called time Lapsed Fan. There's a particular podcast
called time Lapsed Fan. Can you call me back in twenty minutes? Dumb,
no doubt? I guess lados are very good wrestling. What is the
in that ass? Larry? Wrestling fans? Why fucking those buds? Fucking
things? So it's over, Jenny, it's over. It was off here
wrestling fans, ask Larry twenty minutes crotch okay, in the interest of my
gut and time respectfully request that we keep it. One heart GIRLI song,
but I think you just got it all out of your system, and I
think everyone's the better for it. Take Santina Morella. He's a funny gimmick
and that's about it. Hollie. His face, picture's face, pissed off,
all sours, sitting in the locker room with his hands on his hips,
pissed. They put the IC belt on him in his first week,
and he's also been the US champion since then. I'm a better wrestler.
I look better, So I find myself wondering exactly what it was that stopped
me getting used at the same level. I looked and performed like an athlete,
and you can't tell me those facts were at rendered completely irrelevant because I
wasn't great at promos. Still, it's the only thing I can figure Santino
has on me. I don't begrudge him as success, but I would like
to know why I never got an opportunity, a good opportunity, to be
more of a player. I want people to understand that if they were in
my shoes, they'd ask, that's what he thinks when he seats? Yes,
that's his face all the time when he sees Santina Morella. Of course
that makes sense to me, so uh. Santino gets in there and makes
the face all nervous, flexes his arms and eats chin music from Shawn Michaels,
and then gets dumped by Undertaker. Jerry Lawler calls him spaghetti breath,
and Taker dumps Santino yep, and Sean tries to sneak up on oo Undertaker,
but he gets stopped and drops. Santino throws his arms up as he
stumbles back up the aisleway. Very effective in the rumble. I will say
to see the exit because you can watch the eliminated competitors skulk back to the
walker from Yeah there's there. There's something about that. I'll give you that.
Taker goes up for high school, but Shawn Michaels drags him off the
top rope. Shawn Lynn old school. We're old school school, okay,
yeah, yeah, certain when he started calling it old school, I got
it all right, So that's when it starts. Yeah, So like anything
I forgot. I thought it actually actually had to be the ninety one to
be old school. No, no, no, that that's new school and
new the new school, that's new school, and then middle school is like
you know, middle school's like mid nineties. High school is attitude era,
got it, and then old school is uh is when he started calling it
old school. How fucking stupid is that that he called his little walking on
the ropes old school? That's what they call it? Old say, I'm
going old school? Like, oh yeah, Undersellar, you're such a fucking
badass because you walk through the ropes like like like a fucking like a tight
rope walker, like I don't care no, like like like seriously, dude,
if if I were in a real fight with you, I would not
be waiting for you to to to step up there and walk across the ropes.
I would have fucking pushed you off and killed you. That's because your
new school, I guess Sean with an inverted atomic drop and some chops on
Undertaker. As the countdown hits Sean, that would be he opened. Yeah
he did, That's true. He just had least a building to open up
his San Antonio, Texas chop House's correct countdown hits Sean hits a flying forearm,
Great Collie hits the ring, and Undertaker choke slam Shawn Michaels. This
is before the that song before the yeah, like the like the Bollywood song.
Right, this is just like that menacing song used to happen. Yeah,
Dave Kapor out there with the Punjabi nightmares they call him and nightmare say
that again, that's really not okay. They referenced the history between Undertaker and
colleague, and Taker jumps on. But Collie with the big overhand chop dropping
Undertaker. You know how they they they always used to do this in the
rumblehere. They would talk about how many former champions are in the Rumble.
Yeah, I can tell you that at this point eight of the participants,
so nearly a third, are former world champions. Stunning, although although if
you wanted to include the e c W Championship as a world title, that
brings the total to thirteen. I don't, but I'm interested in that point.
There are five e CW former e c W champions in the Royal Rumble.
Styles mentions Collie actually won a Battle Royal, including Tommy Dreamer, to
become world champion in his own right. Styles trying to like, you know,
say things about the actual history of these guys in the ring to accentuate
their chances in the rumble, and everyone else is like, that's not story.
God love him, God love him for trying. I mean I I
I remember being probably one of his few fans when he was commentating, w
he felt fresh to me, Yep, you can't wrestle chance fire off at
Collie. This is that moment we've talked about. Oh it was a colleiae.
I thought it was a shoun Michaels. Yeah. They've decided to tell
seawann agay wrestle at this junction. Take her on, Collie, exchange Collie.
Goozle's a charging Take what you think about it. None of the guys
in the ring can actually wrestle. Well, that's true. Take answers with
a goozle of his own to the ropes. They go standing there and standing
there, and who knows what Collie is waiting for. Finally he breaks free,
goes for its shop taker dodges it and dumps Collie out of the rumble.
That's right, Sean. Now to the mittal rope, mounted punches,
but he gets shoved off, flips over in his head, and jumps back
on it four three two one as Sean Michaels is lifted up by Undertaker for
the last ride. Instead of hitting him in the ring, he kind of
brings him out onto the apron, which here comes hard Core Holly, the
next entrant in the Rumble, and both Sean and Taker are up on the
map by the time he hits the ring. Take her shoots Holly into the
corner, clothesline, punches, reverse wet, Big Boot puts down to make
me, to make me chuckle Jr. Talks about the possibility of hardcore Holly,
wouldn't the Royal Rumble? Can only imagine for an athlete like Hardcore Holly
don't win the Royal Rubble match and a headline of WrestleMania, I guess the
champrit of his choice. One can only imagine how small the attendance would be.
Exactly if hard Holly was in the main event of WrestleMania. Oh my
god, can you imagine? But he gets put down with the Big Boot
by Undertaker. Taker with a fireman's carry on Sean to the ropes, Shawn's
clutching, and Taker's trying to shake him off. Sewan, that's a bit
of the wily veteran Bob. Hardcore Holly. Yep, Sean has a bit
of a crucifix hold on until Holly comes over with the boots to basically save
him from elimination. Sean and hardcore Holly exchange chops for three to two one
next to the Royal Rubble. John Morrison correct relationships with other people in wrestling
don't work a lot of the time either. It's not something that will get
you in trouble with the office, but it could compromise how you're seen by
the company and by your peers. Molina, Molina and Batista had something going
on when she was with John Morrison. John was an idiot for being okay
with that. What man in his right mind would be okay with the girl
he lived with messing around with another one of the boys when he found out,
he should have been a fucking man and just whipped Batista's ass. John
could have taken Batista in a fight, for sure. He was just afraid
he'd lose his job because Batista was one of the top guys and was living
in Hunter's colon. I don't get why I don't I don't get why Morrison
didn't just drop it. Molina, nobody liked her anyway, so he would
have earned her a lot more respect for walking away. Wow, Bob Holly
Dishing, don't be fucking weak around this guy, That's right. They do
a camera shot where the top left shows the Rumble entrance being opened as these
guys work in the ring, and Styles says that the tag team champions at
the time, which were the Mizzen Morrison, were mobbed earlier by five hundred
female fans in the limo, and he immediately gets cut off by Cole saying
that has nothing to do with with this, that's Vince talking, and Style's
like, Actually, the point I was trying to make is they were up
all night partying and they were going to be tired and not as effective in
the Rumble. And by that point, well no, noah, yeah,
by that point they've decided he's on a tangent, even though it's a perfect
lease. Can we can we turn his mike off for the rest of that
God forbid him trying to steer the actual characters of a mid card or into
a story for the Rumbull. Can't have that. No, no, no,
no, no, what's he talking about? These were missed? What
the fuck is that all about? Ken? Who the fuck is missed?
Can Styles talk about momentum instead? Please? Why is he talking about We
don't care about the tag team champions. We care about momentum. We care
about momentous momentum. Momentarily momentous momentum is what we're trying to brain right,
what's so hard to understand about that Morrison as a former ACW champion? They
point out, Yeah, that was right out at the time Ben Wad did
the deed. Ashley Shawn then tries to dump Morrison almost on the body slam.
And here's a match we never got sewn, Michaels versus John Morrison.
Yeah, but a chew one sewn climbs and drops an elbow. Taker has
a hardcore Holly on the ropes and Sean turns it up as the countdown starts
and his kick is caught, tunes it up rather for the superkick yep,
and Morrison kind of an insigury that just touches Hbk's shoulder. Not the greatest
kick in the world. Countdown expires and it's Tommy Dreamer Don Don's He comes
in swinging like hell champion. Yeah, Thomas Dreamer, the DC dub chant
is live in effect Thomas. They're happy to see Thomas Thomas Dreamer Qui and
they talk about Yonkers and how he grew up. Coming to the Garden,
John Morrison to the Apron, sent to the Apron by Shawn Michael Suplex hot
shots and Sean tries to save himself. Another countdown and Battista is next to
hit the ring. A few of the boys have tried their hand at MMA
when they got done with the wrestling. Oh my god, Dave Batista had
a great look for wrestling, but I wasn't sure how well MMA would work
out for him. Once, when I was playing around with Dave in the
ring before a show in Louisville, I tied his ass up. Kevin Ferdick
and a bunch of other boys saw this go down. Dave started panicking and
yelling let me go. Everybody laughed. He started it on Booker at another
point, and Booker knocked his ass out cold. Oh my god, look
at Batista. Don't get me wrong, I like Dave, but when they
started this huge push, he was one of the worst wrestlers ever to step
into the ring and couldn't talk either. What's this in a book? Ah?
He didn't prove a time because he learned from one of the very best
in Hunter. But in the beginning he was still too green for his spot
and only got the big push due to his impressive look and Hunter bringing him
into his inner circle. And make no mistake, everything goes back to what
Hunter wants. It's all a game to him. Oh my god, he's
so bitter. That's the best wrestler to be like this guy. Yeah,
So he comes in and spine busts Tommy Dreamer does Batista Lariot's hardcore Holly,
I believe he would have a shine moment here. That's where that's exactly what
it is. He clotheslines Shawn Michaels, who's been busted open by the way,
apparently from a boot to the face by you guessed it, hardcore Holly.
Oh he is his hardcore m Dreamer and hardcorel should go out of there
both. Yeah, hardcore. Let's fly that flag right. There's a backdrop
on Morrison who goes face to face with the Undertaker. Tommy Dreamer steps up
and tries to DDT Batista and he gets tossed out of the ring. Hard
Batista spears Morrison hard as well, the coach asked, would you consider teaming
up to get rid of him if you were in that ring? And Test
says, well, those allies don't last long in a rumble. As Vince
said earlier, what's that not? For nothing? For nothing? Vin said
earlier, who can you really trust? Absolutely no one can downs back on?
And here comes horn Swaggle. Lawler says, here's horny. Oh yeah,
but what about what about the rest of the guy coming in the ring?
Hornswoggle takes off his hat and makes smaller. Also, Jerry, put
your pants back of Jesus corning. Okay, his his bare ass and the
leather chair, oh, the office chair, you know exactly like he's you
know, he's got a little bit of shit. Oh god, it was
cold, it was cold on his ass cheeks when he first sat down.
Now it just now now because of the heat and because of because of the
hank of the little the little uh bit of shit, it just smells like
warm. Oh it's it's it's room temperature like a McDonald's cheeseburger. Yep,
oh vile hardcore. Hornswoggle takes off his hat and makes his eyes like he's
ready to fight. But then just scurries under the apron, then disappears shades
of Jerry Lawler. Jim Ross points out. Meanwhile, Batista spears the hell
out of Undertaker and works to get him out of the ring. I meanwhile,
Hardcore Holly with a suplex on John Morrison backdrops Sewn Michaels in a clothes
line to Shawn Michael's reflies over that top rope. It looks like a very
close elimination there. Yep for Shawn Michaels. But another countdown hits and you
will remember me. It's your boy in brown pants with a bandana, looking
like he's like he's trying to be fucking Rambo. In First Blood, it's
Chuck Palombo. I remember chasing Sean O'Hare and his partner Chuck Palumbo through Madison
Square Garden. The two of them had just interfered in a match and beaten
up the WWF guys, so a bunch of us went out there to chase
them off. They tried to escape into the crowd, but we blocked their
way, got them back in the ring and beat the hell out of them.
It was the very first time any of the WWF guys got their hands
on these invaders, and I'll tell you something. And that ring that night
it was one potato, two potato, three potato more. Oh god,
the agent said, it's TeV, just lay it in there. We knew
what that meant. It was seek and destroy. These two were the artific
sacrificial lambs. And the beating they took, and they took a hell of
a stiff beating was a message to the rest of the new WCW guys to
know their position. There was no real reason why it was shat Ohre and
Chuck Plumbo specifically who took the beating, at least, not a reason I
ever heard of. Oh tremendous. He's the man for the job. Get
he's a man for the job. But he's not doing the job. He's
got a Chuck Plombo a hanky hanging out of his brown pants as well.
Oh my god. Another countdown graphic shows the name before we can see him.
It's Jamie Noble, number eleven, and he was at the enemy of
Chuck Plombo at the time, we're told, and it had suffered a brutal
attack on the most recent SmackDown. I guess having something to do with n
Idio. So Nobel hits the ring and goes off on Chuck Palumbo with taped
ribs, and there they mentioned Michelle McCool as being involved in this whole scenario
as well, before she got with Undertaker. Oh my god, Jamie Noble
chance breaks out, Plumba, puts Hi on the apron and kicks him in
the face and he's out of the Rumble. Pretty simple, un fucking believable.
Ruffrey Marty Elias on the floor calling for a trainer to tend to the
injured Jamie Noble, We're told as we can see one of said doctors scurry
down the aisle at the Garden and another countdown takes place four three, two
one, and as John Morrison is almost sidestepped out of the Rumble by Sean
Michaels making his first Royal Rumble appearance. Boss, it is CM Punk.
Yes, you're gonna say huh? Are you gonna say? Nah? I
just said, holy shit. A few years after I left WBE Punk brought
my name up at a promo on Raw saying that he was in an arena
where I'd hit him so hard that I'd given him a permanent blind spot in
his eye. This Scouy doesn't forget a single person ever accusing him of being
stiff. Nope, nope, and where's it as a badge of honor.
I have no idea why he brought me up in that promo, but I
doubt he meant it as a negative thing or a complaint. I can't even
remember the match he was talking about because I worked with him so many times.
He is, Yes, you get all these little little injury used to
get here, here and there, and they all blend together. It wasn't
a one sided thing either. Punk kicked me in the face a bunch and
just about crack my skull with this finisher a few times, but that's just
part of wrestling. You don't whind about getting hurt or about somebody hitting you
too hard. If you do, you're in the wrong business. Punk never
complained that I was working too stiff with him, and I don't remember him
going for medical aid after a newer matches, so it couldn't have been that
bad. If he was really that pissed about it, he would have tried
to bury me in that promo by saying something more negative about me. I
was glad to hear he brought up our match. We had some good ones.
Maybe he misses me, misses the physical abuse Jesus Christ. Punk still
with the long black hair at the time. Oh yeah, this is well
because he was still fresh. You know. He absolutely this is a third
year, no second year. He's in the middle of a second year.
We're told you he just qualified the night before the SmackDown. Wow comes in
and throws a knee in the corner and Chuck Palumbo, hm k Morrison and
then he steps to Undertaker and kicks free and then a Nita, Sean Michaels
and a Bulldog. But as he's going to Bulldog Shawn Michaels, Hundertaker absolutely
takes his head off as he's running with a clothesline. Punk right back up,
though doesn't really sell malaria. It tries to dump Sean Michaels, a
Chuck Palumbo lifts pump up Punk up in a power bomb. Punk drops behind
Palumbo, hangs on, eats a Punk knee and is eliminated from the brumble.
Punk takes his shirt off and continues flighting. He had the black and
yellow trunks, kind of like Boston Bruins colors. Yep, I'm sure this
black Hawks fanatic would love to hear that. Yeah right, Ah, then
Punk has Sean Michael's on the rope trying to eliminate him. At at number
thirteen, Cody rhoades, that's right. I had another surgery scheduled, so
we finished off the storyline with Cody and they wrote me off TV. Remember
they were tag champs for a little while, those two. Remember that we
did a switch. Cody turned heel on me and started teaming with Teddy Biassi.
They ended up with the titles and I got my surgery. It bothered
me that Cody didn't call me to thank me for my help or to wish
me well after my surgery. God, he's so fucking bitter. I taught
that little bastard a lot, so his lack of gratitude bothered me. He's
using the Alabama Slam sometimes these days. I'd like to think that that's a
shout out to me, But who knows. He hasn't beat anyone with it
yet from what I heard, so I guess he's not doing it right.
Oh, he's such an asshole. Cody gets in and it's an atomic drop.
Tries to dump see him Punk. At the time, they were you
know, the tag champs him in a hardcore Holly had been tack champs.
First rumble ever here for Cody Rhodes. Has he going to be a two
time winner? Yeah, which I wouldn't have expected back then. I know,
Cuman like not at all all. And Cody hits to take her from
behind and tries to take on Undertaker and take her charge around like bruh and
then take her exactly. Taker goozles him and Cody breaks free though and drops
Undertaker with a drop kick. So Cody gets to drop the Undertaker in the
rubble. That's a big thing. I was like that, there's something there
then. I don't know if it's uh. I don't know if Undertaker respects
Cody or if he's just respecting Daddy right at that moment, but that was
pretty wild. Count Down from there a number fourteen. It is Umaga and
Umanga and the Rumble. At mid two thousand and eight, We're down at
a show in Bakersfield, California. I needed some pain meds because my neck
was herding and I needed yet another elbow surgery. So I asked Ken Anderson
if he had anything. He said sure and gave me some meds. He
then said if I needed any more later, I should just go in his
bag and get them. That's normal. I can't tell you the number of
times Ken came to me saying, have you got anything? And I told
him help yourself. Everybody in the locker room helps each other. It's an
unwritten rule. The office knows what happens, but they turned a blind eye.
They know we need it sometimes. He writes, that's right. Later
that day in California, I needed some more meds. I finished doing my
pre tape interview and went into the locker room. About fifteen people were in
there. I grabbed another few pills from Ken's bag. He came in with
Umaga moments later, so I told him I'd taken four pills and would replace
them when I got my next prescription field. He said that was fine,
and what about getting some pills for Umaga. I thought that was the end
of it, but then a week or so later, a rumor started floating
that I'd gone into Kent's bag without permission. Of course called him at home
to ask what was up, and he assured me that everything was fine.
Next time I saw him at TV, what's going on, bro, exactly?
I talked to him about this rumor again and he said he didn't anything
about how it started. In the end, I got a call from Johnny
Laurie and IDAs asking me what was going on. I told him what had
happened, and he said that it wasn't what he'd heard. I found out
afterwards after talking to Johnston and Shawn Michaels, the rumor had started when Omaga
had told a couple of people that I had gone into Ken's bag to get
pills. Wow, of course would die of a pill overdose, among other
things. First man of qualified from the rumble for raw we're told for whatever
that means is Omaga great point to make? Who cares? Oh so pathetic?
How least to shoehorn that stuff in back? Then? Oh exactly,
like stop, it's so stupid. Maga spikes hardcore Holly out of the ring
in the Rumble. Up that's it for him, but not the last we've
heard from him. I can assure you that good. That's good ass attack
on Batistas well from Omaga. And then Cody almost back drops out Sean Michaels
from the Rumble. Sean's climbing the ropes for god knows what reason and see
him punk for god knows what reason Press lambs him into the ring instead of
trying to eliminate him. Number fifteen is Snitsky. Oh g R. S
HD has given Snitzky's teeth a new personality. And then they say, what
do they say? I wouldn't want to share a subway car at midnight with
Snitsky. This, yes, because fucking Taz Calton. This is actually pretty
fucking funny. We got the big psycho lunapics on. Snitsky's Teeth had an
entirely new personality. I like to share a subway about midnight somewhat sunwich.
Is it all about food? Or are we just making that up? And
I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what right now, I can tell
you from what I know, Sniskey wouldn't let anyone share a subway sandwich.
Good luck? Did you hear that real laughter from the other guys. I
love that moment of actual levity because they fucking know how much Snsky eats.
He orders like three subway sandwiches, and they know it means something. If
JR. Isn't gonna it's afraid to ask you for a bit of the sandwich.
It's a man, you know. Just think he he takes the sandwich,
he says, please don't cut it in half? All right, undoes
it and he holds it up and just opened his mouth and just inserts,
do you want me to cut it? Along this fault line? Jean,
it's not my fault. Look at his face. Oh I can't. He's
such a it's such a I wouldn't want to share a subway sandwich, Jr.
Says because Shim said it right. Oh man, of course, you
know, because like he's actually asked to share a subway sandwich in them.
Didn't happen, Jean Snitzky, What are they doing? What is wrong with
him? Like? What is you? Gene Allan Snitzky? All right,
I'm at least happy to know that he's I was, you know. Yeah,
I always get nervous when you see when you see clowns like this and
they end up being younger than I'm glad that he's not fifty. He was
like fifty back then. Yeah, Oh my god, such a fucking idiot.
So Cody immediately leaps over Snitzky's back and tries to pull him out of
the rumble. He's been in movies. Yeah, he has not good ones,
but still he'll be coming soon. I guess. I guess so.
Jean Snitchkey both land on the apron to Ody and Snitzky, and Jerr says
John Morrison looks like a young Shawn Michaels athletically blah blah blah. Ugh,
there's always another They're always there's always a next Shawn Michaels. There always a
new generation, right, kind of like a death nell that he called that
by the way. Meanwhile, seeing Punk lifts that John Morrison up into the
GTS and number sixteen is the Misz, the other half of the Rating Tag
Champions along with God And I guess so before all this fucking old theme music,
it's very drowing. See him punk too, is before he had ye
the cull to personality personality, Yeah, when he had the original ECW theme.
So the mis hits the ring. You play your best guys in the
big game. But the main event of WrestleMania in twenty eleven was John Cena
versus the Misz, and it was horrible. Despite the fact that John is
pretty much the hardest working man in the WW, he's not a good wrestler.
Miss isn't much better. He's improved, but he nowhere near good enough
to be w B champion and main eventing the biggest show of the year.
Meanwhile, you had Dolph Zigler working underneath on that same card for about a
minute. Miss couldn't even carry Dolph's bags. That goes to show you something
is fucked up in that company. God. Meanwhile, Dolph would go on
to really carry missus bags like as his friend take her show. Throws Umaga
to the apron and then lays down and kicks away, trying to get AMaGA
out of the ring, but no. As Morrison and Miss double team Punk
clumsily to stop that from happening, and then number seventeen Shelton, Benjamin and
Shelton immediately jumps to the top rope in one motion and slams Morrison and Miss,
who are on the rope hop rope metal rope rather down on the ropes
on both sides, but neither gets eliminated. Then Shelton hits a downward spiral
and se him Punk and then Sewn Michaels super kicks Shelton as they're going on
about how he's a pure athlete and all that shit, I'm talking about his
purity and he's like dump in seconds, he's gone, fucking joke taking Sean
Superkicks extended. That guy's run by a decade. I really hate when they
do. Listen, you have one of those in the matter in a rumble,
it's fine, but I really hate when you get guys who come in
do two things that get kicked out. Yeah, I really hate it.
You have to be very careful with that. There goes Shelton number eighteen,
super fla. Jimmy Snuka, I shit, you not comes back to the
garden. I'm I mean he's wearing a bodysuit for good reason. Oh my
god, is he can tell? His body is just like deteriorated and he
looks like an old grandma with one tit showing it really does. He looks
like a fucking grandma mom. Do we really have to Jimmy, I really
don't want to see grandma and Jimmy, Oh, she scares me. She
looks at me with wide eyes and just doesn't speak. Makes me feel really
uncomfortable. The cane, honey, don't worry about it. So everyone then
just steps to Jimmy Stook and takes their honorary punches and chops and headbutts.
You can he he looks like he could fall apart at any moment, Like
you know, if you push him with your index finger, he'll follow.
It looks like like he he to me, he resembles the leg lamp in
a Christmas story after it's been shattered and together's like, you know, he
puts it on one piece too long and it just crumbles, and he's like,
you know, all the tape kind of like that's what he's that's his
that's where he's at right now. And he's standing there in the rumble and
people are running into his punches and like, yeah, exactly, he can't
even fucking extend. And then Taker tries to head on him and then take
her stumbles around because he's, you know, got a hard head, right
because he's a he's an islander. Way to fucking uh re uh reignite that
seventeen year old rivalry as asolutely. Jimmy Snooker doesn't forget WrestleMania seven. Hope
you don't, No, he does not. He doesn't. He doesn't like
the fact that he that he begapped the streak. Then mystics and big chops
and testa snook and miser too complete human beings, he says, I'm sorry,
excuse me. Number nineteen is Roddy Piper, Snooker and Piper again face
to face in the garden the big pop there. Piper is one of those
This is this is during the era of Piper's massive belly. Oh, it's
just like he has a medical condition. It's like it's it's like he had
a barrel surgically implanted inside his body. It's unbelievable. And what's what's even
greater is he is just one of those guys who can gain weight in his
torso. But you doesn't even touch his face, yeah, or his shoulders
or his pecks. His pecks aren't saggy at all. He's just like everything
else in his body looks the way it always has. But his belly is
massive, massive. Me I gain weight, it's all my face. Yeah.
I never understood people who fucking who fucking put on weight and they don't
get it in their face. It is. It's a real curious thing.
Or people who like they don't get like, they don't gain weight in their
appendages, they just gain weight in their belly, but like their arms and
their legs in their neck. I guess you're saying the same thing. It's
thin. Here's Piper, and I mean you think about how kind of not
cosmetically primetime ready he was in three when he came back and interfered in the
Hulk Vince match. This is eight, now, this is eight. My
belly has only gotten bigger. Yeah, everyone has, unless you like,
get divorced or something. Right, So here he is, and you gotta
be kidding me. They say, he rips the leather jacket off and the
belt comes off, and you know, people going nuts. They are,
I mean, Masis squre Garden is going crazy. Jared picks up on it.
Piper came to fight. Piper gets on the apron, making the eyes
at Snucker points at him. Snuker like brought a big eyes and response that
they have this big moment. Yep, Ford it's worth a purcher. On
his podcast when he's asked about this part of the rumble, just basically chucked
it up to Brian Gowertz was of course an important creative force at the time
in the company, just being such a fan of this era of WWF and
and in particular least good Yeah, no, the snuk of Piper, Piper
Coconut Angle that he was a big part of why guys of this vintage were
in this rumble. So they face off and Piper gets in Snuck. His
hands go up and Piper charts and hits Snuoker but he's not budging. No,
there's a head butt. It's almost like they're kind of making fun of
him a little bit. There definitely is some like some there's a there's a
goofy factor here, can there they they are jabbing. This to me is
the I feel like that that maybe the Gourts thing was was an attempt to
do an homage to these guys and really celebrate them. But then Vince can't
have that, and so he's gonna he's gonna stop the match, which is
what happens. Everybody fucking stops. And then these guys do this. They
they fight and it you know, they're just not they just can't do it
anymore, you know, like they just can't do it because they're old and
they're decrepit and they're falling apart. It's not their fault, but it might
be Sissy's fault too, but you know, they're old, you know and
they and they put their bodies through hell over the years, and so what
do you expect from them? But let's not showcase them like this. Okay,
no dignity, no dignity because of it's like, as I have no
respect for them, I actually have. Oh yeah, yeah, of course,
it's just that they it's an embarrassment to themselves. They look like fools.
They look like they look like it's like it's like May Young and Mulah
rolling around. Yeah, they gotta look senile almost right exactly. They're doing
head butts or trying head butts, and then down goes Piper. Piper pokes
the eyes and boxes a bit and the countdown number twenty, it's Caine from
SmackDown. At number twenty, Michael Cole says, it's Kane kanematally dumb snooker
and Piper. So at least they still were able to take a pump over
the top rope. It's not Iron Iron Chicke wrestle man. He's seventeen,
exactly. Kane chokes lambs. Miss Kane has been in every year since ninety
nine, they point out, And I'm thinking, at which point does that
become not a thing to brag about but an indictment of how incapable of winning
the rumble you are that than that mending you still haven't figured it out right,
U taker waiting for the choke lamb instead of lunging for him, making
you think he's gonna attack Kane, but instead of going for Kan when the
moment arises, he actually turns and just grabs Sean Michaels by the throat and
gets cut off. So it's sort of like, you know, he's actually
working in concert with Kane in this rubble right number twenty one. Carlito.
I couldn't understand why they went with Carlito at all. He was boring,
he was slow in the ring, he wasn't a good worker. He telegraphed
everything he was going to do. I just didn't get what they saw in
him. He would complain backstage all the time and threaten to quit, and
for a while they catered to him. He got a good mid card push
and made some decent money, probably more than his talent and attitude deserved.
Hardcore Holly, He's fine if he's not making a lot of money, as
long as no one else is making a lot of money. Exactly exactly.
He should have been grateful for it, but all he did was complain.
There were guys at his level, like Shelton Menjamin who were so much better
at what they did, but they went with Carlito and he was still always
unhappy. I never understood that. Yep, if they went with you,
Bob and you were still unhappy, you'd understand too, because you would be.
He still wouldn't. He would understand why you He can totally understand why.
You know. I get well, I'm unhappy, but this fucking clown,
Yes, never be unhappy. So Carlito gets in the ring and spits
in Cody's face with the apple thing going current legend, current legend. Yes,
it's exactly right, LW. Spiritual Advisor. It really it really,
It really bothers me that he is he is held up to like legend status
when he has had less than a legendary career. Absolutely, So he spits
in Cody's face and there's a very full ring at this point, very full
ring, nice mix of old and new. Sure what we're looking for.
Carlito would the mid rope springboard, but he's caught by Morrison and Punk.
But he kicks off the top rope and does a backflip to prevent them holding
onto him for very long and dumping him out of the ring, and he
hit to backstabber on punk. So that was a hot entrance. And then
we go to number twenty two and it is mc foley who were told made
the drive in from Long Island in his flannel vest with a cactus jack leopard
printfest underneath that one. He's wearing like fucking eight layers or something, and
like, I'm miserable for him. Alise and I was more easy going than
Steve. He hung out with Mick Foley a lot, and the two of
them loved going to carnivals. There was one particular carnival in Austin, Texas
that led to a really interesting situation. They are carnies, after all.
We had to go to Houston for TV the next day, and al suggested
that I drop my rental car off and jump in with them. I don't
want to go to the carnival, so I told him I'd keep my rental
and travel alone. Alan Mick kept asking me until I agreed. We would
eat drop my rental car and go to the carnival for a little bit.
Then we would drive on to Houston. Hell, I liked roller coasters as
much as the next guy, so I wouldn't have minded going. They jumped
in their car, I jumped in mind, and we headed to the airport.
They took off, but I couldn't keep up because of the traffic.
I got to the airport in the end, returned my rental and stood in
the forty degree cold, freezing at the curb, waiting and waiting. No
owl, no, Mick. I waited for over an hour before I gave
up. I had to re rent my car, so it cost even more.
I got to the arena in Houston the next day and Al came over
to apologize. Didn't he said, I thought we were going to the carnival
first. I told him that that wasn't what we'd agreed to. Why would
I keep the rental car longer just to go to a carnival that he was
going to go to anyway? And when they didn't see me pull up the
carnival, didn't they you figure something was wrong and then I must be at
the airport. Mick said, Oh, I didn't think of that, So
they just went into the carnival without thinking about me freezing my balls off at
the airport. Mick still didn't think he had done anything wrong. Road warri
Or Hawk overheard all this and blew a gas get. He was about ready
to kill Foley. He went off on him, telling him you never leave
your boys hanging, at least of all for a fucking carnival. He was
so furious, I thought he was going to jump on Mick and beat the
hell out of him. Even I told talk to calm down, and he
kept shouting, fuck him. He doesn't do the fucking boys like that.
Taker got word of this, and then all of a sudden, there was
a call for wrestler's court. Wrestler's Court was already in the WWF locker room
when I got there. Are you serious? It doesn't happen anymore because they're
too corporate, But in the nineties and early two thousands it would happen now
and then only at TV or pay per view. If one of the boys
screwed up and got a lot of heat, they would get called up and
chewed out in front of everybody else. It was just for the boys,
no office staff or officials. Undertaker was the judge usual usually with Bradshaw's prosecutor,
and Ron Simmons is the defending attorney. Ron as a man a few
words, wouldn't really ever try to defend anyone. It's a humbling experience,
a humiliation. I would definitely not want to be in wrestler's court. Al
didn't want any part of it, so we tried to get Mick to apologize.
Al hadn't really caused the problems. He was guilty by association. Apparently
he'd kept saying to Mick, We've got to find Bob, but Mick wasn't
worried about it. Hawk told Mick, you need to pay Bob back the
money for the rental car, his hotel, his food, and his gas.
In the end, Al convinced Mick that he didn't want to be in
wrestler's court, so he gave me five hundred dollars. Mick is so tight
that you couldn't drive a pin up his ass, so so it must have
killed him to pay me that money. And when he did, he said,
I still don't think I did anything wrong. That's right. That was
quite something. God, he's such a lunatic with a big power bomb on
Batista and fully DDT's king fucking lunatic. He's just a judge of character,
not a good or bad one. I'm just telling you, he's a judge
of Garrett, just a judge. He's so pissed off right now. Exactly.
He's the kind of guy that would like get behind someone in the line
at a grocery store and see them like buy something, splurge on something with
like an EBT car to get pissed off. You know, what do you
do? Exactly? I can't afford that. If I'm not buying that,
why are you buying that? Exactly? And that's the thing. While being
billed for Mobile Alabama because that's where he moved in his latl he's from.
He's from fucking California. Yeah, and lived in the Pacific Northwest most of
his life. Yeah, that's funny. He isn't never a Southern accent at
all. He just lived in Alabama because he was pursuing the racing stuff.
But but yeah, that's what was that was that legit? It was.
Yeah, he was a serious competitor. And I'm not saying he was a
great race or anything, but he was in meets and he would They made
a deal when he first came in to give him, you know, a
lot more time off than the average guy so that he could race and promote
WWF on the race circuit at the same time. Yeah, he's got a
pretty good book. I would recommend it. He had an interesting career even
though it didn't really go anywhere. He saw a lot, you know,
and he's not afraid to record his thoughts about things that he wasn't directly involved
in. So, uh, take her with a big power momb on Batista
fully DDT's Kane and Nomogadas the Samo and drop on undertaker. Folly's working over
John Morrison in the corner, and Jr. Says that the star studdedness of
this rumble is pretty damned impressive. As John Morrison with a springboard kick to
mcfoley's head. Number twenty three, it's Ken Kennedy. Twelve guys in the
ring. Now, wow, twelve guys with Kennedy. That's fucking wild.
Then and now no, no, no Kennedy, Kennedy. Here he comes,
Cannady. They were busy giving Ken Kennedy a good starting push and he
was winning these Battle Royals. One night in Italy, we got back to
the locker room and Ken didn't thank the guys in the match for putting him
over. Uh. Oh, thanking the guys who put you over. It's
the very first thing you should do after a match, because they just made
you look good. Absolutely, come on, man. I gave Ken several
minutes to do this and nothing happened. I called him out in front of
everybody. He said he would have gotten around to it. I told him,
you don't go and do whatever else. First, you thank the people
who put you over and shake their hands. Bob loves rules like this gives
him a reason a boss ball. He fucking loves rules. Oh, he
loves rules. The next night, at another arena in Italy, when Ken
came in, I marched right over, grabbed his bag and threw it in
the hallway, saying, get the fuck out of my locker room. You're
not changing in here until I say you can. Ken never told Numaga that
he said I could and when. Oh, this is back to the story
about AMaGA saying that he took the drugs from his bag and that got Holly
in trouble. And one of the reasons it pisses him off Holly that is,
is that Ken never came around and said actually Omagga, Well, he
did take the drugs from my bag. I told him I could do that.
He just kind of let it sit there. Ken never told him Maga
that had that. He had said I could, And when the rumor started
spreading, Ken could have stopped it by saying I told Bob it was okay,
but he didn't. He'd been lying to me the whole time, claiming
he didn't know what was going on, and then not admitting that he hadn't
squashed the rumor. It was self preservation for Ken. Word had spread that
I'd taken stuff from Ken's bag, and when the rumor reached management, Ken
could have gotten in trouble, so he stooged me out. You don't stooge
the boys out, and you always try to help each other. Everybody knows
this. Maybe Ken didn't get the memo. All he needed to say was
that it did. All that a misunderstanding. He'd have got a talking to
and that would have been it. I guess Ken wanted to look like a
victim. Ken really kicked me when I was down. Ooh. I told
him a lot of things that were going on with me, with my divorce
and everything. I needed him to be a friend, and instead his actions
could have had serious implications from my career. As it was, I got
a slap on the wrist from Johnny and that was that, But it could
have been a lot worse. I confronted Ken and called him every name under
the sun. I even tried to get him to come outside and settle it
with me, but he wouldn't. For years after that, I wanted to
get even with Ken, But now all I want him to do is look
me in the eye and give me an explanation about why he did what he
did. I doubt I'll ever get one hardcore Holly, you're right. You're
right about that, pal. So Kennedy gets into rumbling stomps Cody to a
pop. The ring is now full to where there's almost nowhere to fall and
there's still though a downward spiral on mizz and see him punk with a mic
check as he used to call it. Yeah, yep, this is this
is a great Yeah, Taz says this, which is really awesome. Kennedy's
different a process and all the man that we've seen it in the Spana.
He's picking his spots. Now. See, I thought everyone picked their spot.
They called them, I can tell you that. Yeah. So Kennedy
then stops Undertaker a bit and bad mouths him to his face. Remember they
had an intense view of the year before, and Undertaker and put Kennedy over
a couple of times. Yeah. Taker then goozles him and rises and chokes
lams Kennedy. Kennedy takes the big bump. Taker then crushes three guys in
the corner, stacking them up like Cordwood As Jr. Says he has,
says Taker as that capability of pacing himself. Cole says, Taker has learned
to adapt over the years and change his style. Oh my god, a
number twenty four Big Daddy V, who I forgot was even in the company
in two thousand and eight, assigned to ECW at the time. I believe
he's an extremist. He is a Big Daddy V over a quarter ton of
poundage. Snitsky is dump by Undertaker, and Taker is then all of a
sudden out of nowhere, while Big Vis is still making his way to the
ring and his music is still playing. Super Kicked out of the Rumble by
Sean Michaels. Just like that, Yep, Undertaker is gone. It's like,
you can't even believe they did it. When they did it, I
know, well they did that. This like a triple header here they have
yeah, they do uh Snitsky then then take her. Then Michaels Michaels,
Michaels amazing, and then Kennedy sneaks up and dumps Sean Michaels. Yep,
no build up. They're just gone sewn and Undertaker number one and two.
Sean waits for tak her to look at him, and then Sean starts running
away. He stands around though, forever, until Undertaker remembers he supposed to
look at him and then take her. Yeah, take her. So Pissy
puts Snitzky on the SmackDown table and the leg drops him through it. It
kind of breaks, but Kennedy then tries to toss Cody Cody skins. The
cat gets stopped and then comes up again and almost like scissors, Kennedy out
of the ring. Kennedy holds on number twenty five. Somebody's going to get
their ass kicked. It's Mark Henry. Look at Mark Henry. He was
basically a nothing guy for fourteen years. Oh my god. Then the company
figured out how to use him. And got behind him, push the hell
out of him. He was suddenly world champion. Good for Mark, but
why did it take the company so long to figure it out? He's still
pissed off. He's so pissed off without the machine behind you, he says,
you're going nowhere, Bob Holly, Hornswoggle emerges from under the ring,
remember him, Oh God, here we go. This is where the shit
kind of goes. It's Missus hanging on and he pulls miss down, eliminating
him. Yep, he's called Hornswoggle McMahon. Uh. And then vis and
Henry kind of do a double headbutt to see him punk and Viscera has Morson
and Kennedy and the ropes at the same time grabbing the trunks and other assorted
finger foods and reheatables. Were twenty six. Chavo Guerrero, fresh off stealing
the ECW championship. Joey Style says, yes we all care about Chavo is
dewey ECW Champion. Can I tell you you know what one of the weird
things they did here they really I completely forgot that Batista's still in the match.
Yeah, they've done so little with acknowledging him in this match. Interesting,
it is very weird, Yeah, very weird. So Chavo and Punks
mix it up because they have heat already. Morrison goes to the apron from
Cane and a big boot sends him off. There goes Morrison. He'd been
in at number six so had a long run. Jair points out, so
they kind of you know, every year there's that guy that goes longer than
you expect. Yeah, yes, I guess it was John Morrison this year,
I guess. Cody is teetering and Swaggle comes out again. This time
Mark Henry snatches him and brings him in the ring. Visa grabs him,
Mark Henry grabs him, and then fit Finley runs in the Great Protector,
swinging his Chilele. Yep. Oh, this is where the Shenanigans really happen.
Yep, because they you know what they're not. It just he's gone.
Yeah. They say he jumped the time clock. That Finley right.
They didn't know though, if he was necessarily next to come out or not,
so it's not like they said this was the spot where Finley was supposed
to come in. He just shows up and leaves with the Swaggle and they
wonder if Swaggle is out and if he ever went over the ropes. He
did not, but they didn't really see it. They don't do anything about
it. It's just to this day, to this day, he's not been
eliminated. So I went back and watched it, and indeed, when Finley
ran in, Hornswaggle went under the bottom rope on the on the on the
near side of the ring, very clear. So that's that. I mean,
I don't think Hornswoggle could take a bump over the top rope even if
he wanted to. They have to have someone like probably get killed, but
yeah, toss him out. But they didn't bother doing that either. So
that's like a big Rumble trivia question. Is like, who's the guy in
the Rumble history who's never been eliminated, never been eliminated? Yeap, who's
still in the match. They put over how much size is left in the
ring, and coach says, maybe it's time to start teaming up. That's
his one line in the rumbles. Are these guys going to team up?
Are they not going to team up? Oh my god, Jerr says Finley
was actually just qualify for using the le so he's out of the Rumble for
that, Yeah, which is weird because it's a nody Q match. Right,
they didn't say anything about what that meant for Yeah, why didn't Cactus
or Terry get DQ in ninety eight for yeah, right, swinging weapons at
each other for fifteen minutes Number twenty eight. Don't waste my time? This
theme song says, although you could fool me, it's Elijah Burke and his
pugilistic proficiency. Time wasted. Ah from ECW Batista on the floor. Yeah,
he got hurt there. They don't know what happened. At first.
They thought maybe he got eliminated and they missed it, which would have been
a big no no. Yeah, no, that would have been a big
no no. But I saw it because I rewounded and watched it myself.
Oh they show replay too. Oh do they show replay? I don't even
remember that. Yeah, they show replay. The Mauga spikes him and then
he kind of collapses and rolls under the bottom rope. This robe be the
trees lamon Kane shabout trying to kind of do the the guillotine that Ben Went
did to win the four Rumble. Want to see him punk and he does
it. Yeah, he gets punk out to kind of a tepid response.
What punk is eliminated by Chovo Guerrero and then they show those small spiked Batista
another countdown number twenty nine, second to last enter to a big pop.
It's Triple H and he's out spitting. Can you do the honors on this
one? Oh? Fuck yeah, because this is the doozy. Oh my
god, he loves Triple H. Of course he does. And make no
mistake, everything goes back to what Hunter wants. It's all a game to
him. He wasn't satisfied just being in the business. He wanted a lot
more and he set out to get it. This is just my perspective inter
seeing how everything played out backstage. Mind you, vince like he ended up
doing an angle in which he married the boss's daughter, and when she started
to have real feelings for him, what do you think he was going to
do. I'm sure he does genuinely love her now, but I'm not sure
how genuine he was with her at the very beginning. I think he was
in love with the business and saw it as his way to the top of
the industry. He's a smart fucker. He's both good and bad for business.
He's a great wrestler who knows what to do in the ring. I
recently watched one of my matches against him from back in the Attitude era,
and it reminded me of just how good he is. He was always very
gracious to me in the ring, very unselfish, and that's because he understands
how wrestling works. But he bases too many of his backstage decisions on how
he feels about somebody. Vince bases his decisions on how much money he could
make from a person or situation. That's the difference. I want to like
the guy, I really do. He's great in the ring, nice to
your face, and fun to be around, but it's hard to like him
when you know about all of his backstage maneuvering and how he's screwed with people's
lives. Hunter has buried many a good worker just because he didn't like the
guy. He nearly killed Sena right from the get go. When you think
that Sena has been the company's biggest cash cow for the last decade, it
shows you how much Hunter knew about the deal. He always buried Jericho,
he nearly got him fired so many guys could have been a lot more than
they ended up being. Cain Booker, RVD all buried by Hunter. Rob
van Dam could have been here huge see him. Punk is one of the
top guys now, but he could have been the guy even though Hunter never
liked him. They had no choice but to go with Punk because he got
over. He'll notice that Hunter made sure to go over on him though,
to make sure everybody knew Punk wasn't on Hunter's level. Where's the sense in
that it just took away Punk's momentum when he was the hottest thing going.
Punk could have made so much more money for the business if Hunter had had
the balls to put him over. It's got to be insecurity. It's strange
because he's such a great wrestler, he's such a great mind for the business,
and he's actually a decent guy, as he showed when he took us
all to that zoo in Australia. But when it comes to company politics,
if he doesn't like you, he'll fuck you over, no matter how good
you are. It's a crying shame. Face to face, he acts like
you're like yeah, he acts like he's your best friend, but as soon
as you turn away out comes the knife. I'm not gonna mention names because
the people in question still work for the company, but I was told several
times by several people that Hunter used to bury me directly to Vince in meetings
once he was in power. I was going nowhere, especially after the incident
with Dupre. I wish you'd had the balls to tell me what he really
thought of me to my face. As far as I'm concerned, he's a
coward for never giving me any indication that there were something wrong between us.
And with that said, Triple h hits the rumble and starts dropping everybody.
You're damn fucking right. Cody absolutely launched out of the rumble by the game
like what a fucking foreshadow? Oh my god, it's too much to bear
facebuster from Triple Ah with his knee on vis. And then he dumps the
big man. No problem, how about one for AMaGA yep, And he
clashes with Foley and they hype that big time is those two exchanging in rumble
in this building. That's right. It gets a big pop. Fully throws
Make into a clothes line, and then both Fully and Burke eliminated from the
rumble as well. The game, the game, the game, eliminating everybody
that's right now, he fucking clean clears out the whole fucking ring. Waller
says, it, Uh, what's that with all these dumps everybody? Yeah,
makes everyone look like total bitches When he gets in there, Waller says,
looks like a pile up. A ninety five has correct it. Says
the l I E. Ninety five isn't too close to here, and they
all cackle. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. Jr. Says
there's a lot of beef and a lot of superstar power still left in this
matchup. Got that one for you. There's a lot of beef and a
lot of superstar power still looked in this metto in the moment he said that.
I don't know if you saw this, but I saw what he said,
a lot of beef. I saw Mabel pick up the pace to go
to the back, Triple h walking around, dinging everyone with right hands.
It's such a he's such a fucking asshole. I'm so glad Holly puts it
that way. Manah, this is this is also so easy to forget who
this guy is. No, it's not not. If you're with us but
you know what I mean, like, this is the fucking whole generations come
up thinking he's like the benefactor of all benefactors, you know, right right,
Oh, it's so disgusting. He is just a it's you gotta remember
what a what a fucking asshole he is, because that's what he is.
He's an asshole. Bob Holly the most lapsed wrestler I think I can ever
think of. Absolutely, he's sitting there pissed off. I imagine him watching
wrestling like even today with acause I got a beer in his hand. Yeah,
yeah, the ship and he's just shaking his head. Yep, he
has pissed. His house looks like a country music video. You know it
does. Yes, it does. A lot of wood, a lot of
there's a lot of like uh uh, you know, like heavily lacquered wood.
It's tremendous. Omaga misses a corner splash and Omaga sent up onto the
post. Actually he jumps up onto the post like Slaughter used to do.
Yeah, and then it's a pedigree on Omaga from the game. Thank you
very much. I don't see the problem. As JR Puts over how many
obstacles triple h had to overcome to get into the rubble in the first place.
We mentioned the three matches in one night on Raw, for instance,
and then here it is number thirty. Yep. The moment countdown hits,
there's a pause and then you see Sena's chain on the screen yep, and
they pop huge. It's a massive pop. Happy to see him. To
put it lightly, it's John Cena and he's got his arms crossed at the
wrists. Ye looks up from his hat and that's a huge moment right there
is It's a really incredible moment. Jr. Rises to the occasion. The
roof is exploding on Madison Square Garden. Perfect call Johnson to the thirtieth entrant.
Jr. Is doing what he does. That's right. Business just picked
up, we're told. Scena makes a remember me face to the camera and
everyone freezes a. Scena gets in there, jaw jacking with triple H,
rips his shirt off and gets in there throwing like a madman and going off
on Mark Henry as well. A healthy mix of booze and cheers for Sean
Michaels party for John Cena. I mentioned Sean because there's a hardcore HOLLI thing,
I'll skip it's not that great. But he just says, how much
like SNA isn't that good? But we already heard that though, But he
points to that sixty minute match that Sean got out of Johnsena and Ron London.
Yeah, example of how good Sean was so seen a Tooss's Carlito Tossis
Chavo sneaks up on Henry, who was hanging out near the ropes for some
reason. They are they running, They're running no one time. It seems
like suddenly dumping people like nobody's business. Absolutely, So Henry's out, Triple
Ah goes face to face with him. Looks like a complete recovery, they
say, from the torn pectoral muscle. Seen a Triple Ah come face to
face. No snows the Mania signs in the background as they face off and
they haul off with each other, it's like, you know, yep,
they're having this moment, like as if we've never seen them wrestle before.
You know, it makes me think they're going this way from Anium I know,
which we already saw. Like it's weird they do this and and you
know, it's kind of the same thing with I know, I know it's
like it been h you know, it's been a minute since Triple H and
Rock wrestled each other. But when they when they were teasing that at that
WrestleMania there whatever one it was it thirty one, I guess where Aaron Rock
came out. And it's like, but like we've seen Triple H and Rock
a million times, a million times. Yeah, there's very little face offs.
Triple H can have that mean anything? Now, why do I care?
And also like Batista that year in New York, it's like, no
one cares about this Batista. That's what are you doing? We've seen you
guys, because again we've seen you guys do this, Like we've seen it's
not a unique thing. I mean, we just saw Triple H and and
seen a main event WrestleMania two years prior. What's the big deal? And
people shot in the match, you know, they didn't shoot on the quality
of the match, but they shot on Sena winning. It's not like it
was something that people were you know, over the moon about having seen and
wanted to see again. Anyway, here it is, yeah, and they
slug it out and it's pretty intense, and then Triple H whips scene in
and gives me a kick, charges into a spinebuster to a pop does uh
sina from the guys there. They definitely pop for a scena getting spine busted.
Of course they're hungry. Omaga kills Triple Ah to the big Downtown shot
and goes for the spike, but Batista spears him. We forgot about Batista,
they say, exactly, that's that's that's kind of the thing. I
don't understand why we have forgotten about Batista the baptist. Oh, he makes
a bid for for a memorable moments, says. Batista clotheslines mister Kennedy out
of the Rumble and then Umaga as well, But then Kane snatches Batista and
Triple H with a double goozle. They both kick free though and toss Kane
out of the Rumble. Evolution reunion perhaps down to three just like that,
Like you said, they go warp speed here, Yeah, warp speed.
It really seemed like there's a problem, like they're they're they're werenning low on
time. Batista, Triple H, and Sena are the other final guys.
Seene Aapatista Triple H is going to WrestleMania Jr. Says. They pause for
the big pop for all three, their eyes darting around to figure out what
they're going to do next. Triple H looks at Batista like they're going to
make an allegiance, and Batista smirks and does the thumbs down gesture to decline
Triple H's overture. YEP. Sina with the can't you can't see me to
both of them, and Triple H crotch chops him in response, and they
all start brawling. Whip is reversing, is dropped by Batista, running clothesline
in the corner and drops him. They double team on Batista bit double whip
and Batista drops them with the double clothes line. Seene As whipped into the
corner, gets a boot up on the charging Batista and then charges right in
yet another spinebuster. Power Velocity Intensity Jr. Says excuse me, Triple H
tries a pedigree and Batista ba Batista breaks free and spine busts him a liver
quivering, spine jarring spinebuster were told by Jim ross uh uh Okay. Batista
then kicks Sina seen a backdrops out of the power mom and then Triple H
nails him with the clothes line. Batista's out of the rumble. Triple AH
eliminates Patista is actually a pretty wild elimination. You know, there is something
I will say about Batista. He know, he he is able to really
he's sometimes it's I'm amazed how he leaves his feet. Yeah, you know,
like when he got closing out of the ring there by by Triple H,
it was like he was as light as a feather. Yeah, that's
a good point. He deserves some credit for that. He carried so much
muscles, man, he yeah, tear shit all the time and everything,
so he didn't take those bumps lightly down to two. They face off crowd
red hot. Triple H points to the sign. Scena does too. They
pause and look at the crowd. Why come on, stop with the fucking
uh. Triple Ah to the boot, to the gut, throwing some rights.
We're going for it. We're going for it. Seeing the fires back
to a course of booze taking over. Boo yeah, boo yeahs They exchange.
Triple H pulls ahead, Scena ducks with the backsuplex the lightning rod is
John Cena Jr. Says. Sina says, we're back in the sum bitch
and then does that you can't see me and drops the five knuckles shuffle gets
them up for the FU, but Triple H drops down, goes for the
pedigree no seeing a twist out of that, Triple H ducks the line and
both are hit with a double clothes line, double down. Spot crowd into
it. Triple Ahton gets up, charges scene it gets the boot up.
J R. Says it's all about the desire, your heart, your soul.
SCENEA lifts Triple H for the FU. Triple H reaches for the top
rope, grabs it. He pushes off the top rope to get off,
see his shoulders and plant Seen in the canvas with a big DDT. Yes,
he does triple hs, then lifts Seen into his shoulder. Either way,
the crowd roars for that. Oh yeah. They have a great back
and forth. At the end they do Triple H lifts Seen on his shoulder
and attempt to eliminate him Seen. He grabs the ropes, preventing himself from
getting too close, drops down from behind, lifts Triple H and the FU
and AA's and right out of the ring to the arena floor. Yep,
And with that a massive pop. In fifty one minutes and twenty five seconds,
John Cena wins the two thousand and eight Royal Rumble, eliminating trouble h
Michael Buffer. Ladies and gentlemen, the two thousand eight Royal Rumble win are
and he points to the sign and points to the peck as well, the
surgical scar, which, un like Cody's, is almost impossible to see on
John Cena's body. It's kind of there, a thin line. But yeah,
it's not like the fucking mark that that uh that Cody has. John
sna big long pronounced announcement from buff It's so crazy, Jerre says. When
we started, the last person I thought was Sina. We didn't think there
was anything. We didn't think it was physically able to return to combat.
And how wrong, how wrong I was, And they have the The announcers,
by the way, noticed the others totally laid out for the finish once
it came down to the last three. Joey Styles, Taz Cole Coachman,
nothing to say, nothing, nothing, It's all j are selling that ship
because they owe the truth, all right. Sina points to the sign.
The replay JR. Puts over how superhuman strength of Scena to lift trip Late
out of the pedigree the way he did and toss him out. Great finish,
and they send the pyro screaming from the ceiling and seen it gives the
salute as the book. It's not Taker Michaels from the year before. All
right, it's not that, but still it's it's it was a good it's
a thumbs up rumble. Yeah, it's fine, and it's done, and
it's in the books and it's on the shelf courtesy of the Hopper, the
Magic of the Hopper. Thanks to Path, Thanks to everybody for listening.
And we covered a lot of ground in this one. Man, this was
we cannot We got to go into these vent shows eyes wide open, going
forward. You're damn right. For now, we're going to close hardcore Holly's
book and we're going to close the book on the two thousand and eight rumble.
We'll see you next time on that fucking cast bitch as a TJ to
Santa's production, its contents is intended for private use only. Baa bumba bana
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