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This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're
listening to k I Am six forty,

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the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on demand
on the iHeartRadio app Doctor Doctor Billy the

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Louse, I Gotta loving you.
K I Am six forty. You have

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Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This
is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Just

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a reminder. I'm a psychology professor
at cal State Channel Islands, but I

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am obsessed with the science of love. I've written three books on relationships and

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I did my dissertation on attachment theory. If you don't know what your attachment

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style is, should take one of
those online tests because you'll learn a lot.

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It explains all of life to me, Kayla, attachment he really does

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how everybody behaves. Anyway, I'm
going to my social media. You can

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follow me on Instagram, TikTok,
wherever, YouTube, whatever, at doctor

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Wendy Walsh, at d R Wendy
Walsh. So here we go, going

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too the DMS. Hey, oh
yes, yes, this woman. Okay,

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she's getting ready to go on a
first date. Hi, Doctor Wendy,

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can I get some input? I
met this guy on a dating app.

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We're supposed to meet up tomorrow for
our first date. For the first

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time, he just asked me if
I'm on birth control, which really threw

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me off. Feels like he's trying
to see if we're going to have sex

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without protection. Should I cancel?
Am I overreacting? Okay? Let me

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I gotta explain here. First of
all, it depends what you want.

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If you want to go hook up
with this gentleman, then do and you

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should still use protection because that means
he asks every other woman if she's on

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birth control or not. So that
means he's been free wheeling without any kind

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of parachute. Okay, he's jumping
from that plane without a parachute. So

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on the other hand, if you're
looking for a long term relationship, this

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should be a giant red flag that
says I am never going to go out

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with you. I'm gonna confide something
to you. I'm a grown ass woman.

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But can I say that on the
radio? Is that a swear word?

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I don't know. I like it, you like it? You like

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it? Okay. But during the
pandemic, I was on dating apps.

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Well, I mean that's where I
met my holy o, right, and

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this one guy I always got on
a phone call pretty quickly within a few

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texts, because I want to get
a feel for them, and you know

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what, he had the nerve to
say to me. We had a lovely

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conversation date set up for coffee for
the next couple of days. He literally

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said to me, Oh, by
the way, I just want to say

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that I always expect sex on the
first date. Swear to god. He

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said that to me, and I
said, okay, well, don't expect

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to go out with me. Then
that's why I said, you just don't

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if you're looking for a real relation. I was looking for a real relationship,

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so that was a big red flag. Okay, hi, doctor Wendy

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writes this person, So I'm talking
to this guy who I met almost twelve

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years ago. Oh well, that's
the slow boat of love. Never spoke,

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but I knew he'd gotten married and
whatnot. Recently we connected and I

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learned he got a divorce and he
has three kids. I have kids myself,

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but they're teenagers. I would definitely
see myself with some and small kids.

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That's not a problem for me.
But he doesn't talk much about that.

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I ask him questions leaning towards learning
what he's looking for, and if

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he's dating, but he doesn't ask
me the same questions? Am I overthinking?

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Should I just give it some time? Or should I not even proceed

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with this because I don't see interest. However, it has been two weeks.

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I think he's looking for a good
time too, and I'm ready to

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settle down. Help, I'm following
for this guy who's doing the bare minimum.

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Well, you just answered the question, I'm falling for this guy who's

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doing the bare minimum. How do
I sot myself for falling? No,

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you cannot stop yourself from falling for
him, but you do need to slow

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down this boat. You're acting like
two weeks is two years, right?

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You want this guy to open up. What are his girls? What does

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he want? I don't know if
you're having sex yet, but that seems

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a little rushed. If you want
a long term, healthy relationship, slow

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down this boat. When you say
I'm falling for him, don't fall think

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put your brain in gear, okay, because it sure sounds to me like

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there might be some kind of anxious
attachment thing going on. You're gonna you

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can become a klingon to this guy, move a little bit too fast with

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him, So I think he's doing
the bare minimum. I want to say

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this, Okay, in the first
few weeks, he should be jumping through

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hoops to see you, to pay
for things whatever. If he's not,

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then he's not that interested, he's
not that into you. You should just

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dump him. I'm not gonna tell
you how to stop falling for him,

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but I will tell you that if
he's not jumping through hoops in the first

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two weeks. But then this whole
thing about I need to know what he's

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thinking, whether he wants another family, whether he wants more kids or whatever.

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That takes time for all that to
roll out. Two weeks is not

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enough. But is he paying for
things? Is he organizing dates? Is

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he planning stuff? I don't know. Seems a lot. You guys got

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five six kids in the mix there. It's a very complicated thing you got

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going on, all right, Dear
doctor Wendy, help, This person writes

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with four exclamation marks. I mean, they really want some help. I'm

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constantly finding myself self sabotaging, self
tabotaging, sabotage, sabotage, sabatogal sabotaging,

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sabotaging, stage sabotaging, self sabotaging
any sort of relationship, situation,

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meet up, whatever, what's wrong
with me? It's like, as soon

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as I feel that there's a connection
with someone, my mind starts to microanalyze

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everything they say or do. An
example might be if I'm used to calling

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or texting, if I'm used to
them calling or texting me every night,

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and then they go silent for a
day, when I start to send the

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cringe text and act clinging, and
boom, they end the connection because quote,

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it's not what they're looking for.
It's a cycle. I keep finding

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myself in what the heck? I
will tell you what the heck, darling.

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I used to have that heck key
problem, and I saw a therapist,

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and I really encourage you to see
one too, because you know why,

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you're not crazy. You have trouble
controlling your anxiety in the early stages

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of relationship where nobody knows where this
is going. Somebody with a secure attachment

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style, by the way, still
feels nervous and excited, a little worried

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at the beginning of relationship. But
they know that they are lovable, They

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know they have a strong backbone,
and they know that even if this relationship

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or this person goes away that they're
going to be okay, and that gives

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them the inner strength to just kind
of chill. The world doesn't end if

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they don't for a day. Just
busy yourself with your own stuff. I

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always say to people, stay happy
and busy while you're waiting, because the

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answer will be obvious to you if
you just wait and see. But if

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you can't wait, if your urgency
to connect is pushing people away, then

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I really highly encourage you to see
a therapist, especially a therapist who understands

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attachment theory, who can help you
get the skills. Look. I spent

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in and out different times, a
total of eighteen years in therapy, and

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I learned how to self console,
how to control my feelings. But listen,

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I dated so many bad boys.
I threw myself at them. I

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did all the wrong things. I
slept with them too early. I was

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thinking today, So I baked a
pie today for Ma Julio. I took

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some of the dough Kayla, and
I cut it into a shape of a

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heart for the center of it.
It was a strawberry pie. I have

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a piece in my piece doesn't have
a heart. Ollio's so lucky. He

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ate the heart he eat my heart
out. But as I was you know,

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there's a technique, by the way, with butter and flour when you're

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making the crust, is you just
put it between your forefinger and your thumb

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and you squish it aside, so
that makes the layers of butter that starts

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to fluff up to get a flaky
crust. Right. And as I'm doing

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it, I suddenly have this memory
that you know, years and years ago,

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when I was a young single woman, I was throwing myself at this

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playboy. It's a bake forum.
One time, I rent all these stores

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before online books, and I found
the perfect architecture book for this new business

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he was designing, and I dropped
it off anonymously at his place of work,

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you know, a little card.
And I remember one time baking him

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a pie and just dropping it off
over it. I mean, I threw

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myself at this guy who was doing
worse than the bare minimum, right,

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And I was so injured and so
damaged that when I spoke to him after

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dropping off the pie, and he
didn't mention it, and I brought it

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up and I said, hey,
you did you get the pie? I

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left it at your apartment door.
And he said, I mean it sounded

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like a freaking stockard. And he
said, yeah, it was very buttery,

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flaky crust. I'll tell you that
sustained to me for like three months.

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He said something nice. I mean
that's how crazy I was. Oh

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that was a compliment. Yeah,
oh like that was that was a step

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up. And it was a flaky, buttery crust that shows the bare minimum.

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That's that. He asked how much
I accepted. That's all I needed.

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I just needed vapors. And I
tell you everything that you just did

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and you got anybody would be lucky
to snatch you up pie and architecture books

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like that's so thoughtful. L says
that all the time. You know what

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he said. The other day he
was trying to go to work and he

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had a suit on and everything.
Go into an office and I turn around.

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He's got a broom in a dustpan
and he's sweeping the floor. And

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h he says, I sure,
I'm lucky you're such a good cook,

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because you're a messy cook. He
was literally like he didn't care. He

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was so happy because I'm so happy
to sweep this floor. Is such a

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good cook. You're listening to doctor
Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six

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forty. You know, I get
really excited when I have a guest that

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has a bigger brain than me.
I measured actually his like four inches in

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circumference, bigger than mine. He
has more degrees than you can imagine.

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I'm sure I would need a dictionary
to translate some of his research papers,

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but it's always a thrill. My
next guest is doctor Dave Raven. He's

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not only an MD. Is See
when they have a whole bunch of letters

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after their names, you got to
let go whoa not only a medical doctor,

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a PhD, A neuroscientist, a
psychiatrist. Yeah, that's like up

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above a psychologist because they can give
you the med stew He is co founder

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of something called Apollo Neuroscience. We're
gonna talk about later, but a lot

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of his research has to do with
ketamine, an MDA m A assisted therapy

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with his patients. Basically, he's
a leader psychedelic field. Welcome, doctor

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Rabind, how are you great?
Thanks so much? Tracking me, Wendy

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R. Brain is like bursting out
your ears. You're too kind of so,

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you know, ketamine has been in
the news recently sadly, a beloved

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celebrity who suffered with addiction most of
his life, Matthew Perry from Friends,

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passed away and when the toxicology results
came out, they said he had an

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overdose of ketamine. All right,
First of all, let's go to the

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beginning. What is a psychedelic drug? What is ketamine? Is it something

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like having to do with magic mushrooms. That's a great place to start.

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And I think one of the most
common misunderstandings that we have is about what

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the word psychedelic means, because it
doesn't actually just refer to drugs. It

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actually refers to a state of mind. And psyche means mind from Latin Dellos

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means to show or to reveal.
So what we're really talking about is entering

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states of mind or states of conscious
awareness where we're revealing parts of ourselves to

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us that are effectively not necessarily noticeable, things that have happened to us in

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the past, past memories, parts
of ourselves that maybe we don't like,

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that we shoved underneath the surface because
people in our childhood told us that those,

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you know, weren't the best parts
we should be showing off. And

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so in us with the psychedelic drug
like ketnymine or MDMA or psilocybin, which

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are in trials now, and ketamine
is the only legal psychedelic medicine we have

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available for depression. These medicines are
molecular tools that help us to basically quiet

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our survival ego mind for a short
amount of time so that we can bear

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witness to what lies underneath the surface
of our consciousness, and so it reduces

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our defenses and we're able to act
properly. Are unconscious, you know.

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I teach undergrads, and when I'm
trying to explain the difference between the conscious

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and the unconscious, I show one
of those classic pictures of the iceberg with

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just the tip above the ocean and
the giant iceberg underneath it, and I

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say, that's our conscious up there
above. That's what we're aware of,

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our thoughts. We think we know
everything, but that's it. The rest

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is going on below surface. I
know lay people like to use the word

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subconscious, but as fancy people use
the word unconscious. In the unconscious is

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really the big motivators for our behavior. So you're saying, psychedelics help us

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look underwater and see what's there.
Exactly, and you nailed it with that

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metaphor. I think that's one of
the best metaphors for consciousness because when you

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and the most important thing is you
can access psychedelic states of mind. And

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we all have accessed these states of
mind without drugs. So the most common

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way is in dreams. Right.
We know that when we dream, we're

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starting to experience things about ourselves and
about the world that we don't necessarily notice

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when we're awake. And part of
that is because our ego, our defensive

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mind that's awake and active all the
time during the day, feel safe enough

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to relax and calm down, and
then we can become aware and start to

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notice things going on beneath the surface. So if you think about what psychedelic

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medicines are doing, and what deep
breathing, intentional breathing states are doing,

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a meditation and yoga, they're all
bringing us access to the same states which

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are effectively psychedelic, like dreams.
And ketamine is really interesting because it's only

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sixty to ninety minutes as a therapy, but it gives people access to a

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very when used properly, a very
comfortable, safe, dream like state where

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they can start to self reflect non
judgmentally on themselves. And when you've been

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judging yourself for maybe days, weeks, months, decades, being able to

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observe yourself without judgment could be one
of the most therapeutic things you've experienced in

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your entire life. And I want
to add this about dreams. My belief

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system on dreams is that they're never
literal folks. They're always metaphors. And

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everything in the dream, whether it's
the chair, the cigarette, you,

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the person they're talking to, is
a piece of you. So I always

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ask you, like, well,
if you were the chair, what would

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you think of that? You know, if you are the other person you

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were talking to, what you think? And that's one of the ways to

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access some good what di if froid
call it the Royal Road to the unconscious

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dream material. I years ago,
when I was in psychotherapy psychoanalysis had EMDR.

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Look. I opened my hands like
this when I said, at EMDR,

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it feels like it's opening a circuit
board. And for those who don't

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know what does EMDR stand for,
it's I have to think eye movement disensitation

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in an R and rabbit. I
was something and so the clinician just takes

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their finger and goes back and forth, and you just watch it back and

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forth like a tennis match with your
eyes, and it somehow relaxes your consciousness

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and you're able to access early memories. I actually, in EMDR remembered in

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a non traumatic way some abuse by
a dentist when I was six. And

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the way I described the memory afterwards
is I said to her, you know,

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it feels like you know when you
leave a restaurant and you go,

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oh my god, I forgot my
purse and you run back real quick because

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it's something important, but you just
ran back to get it. The world

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wasn't ending, just oh my god, I forgot my purse. That was

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Oh my god, I forgot that
memory, And there it is. So

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let's talk about uses of you said, ketamine is the only legal psychedelic drug

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at this point, what is it
mostly prescribe for. So ketamine is only

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FDA cleared at this point for treatment
resistant depression, but it's used off label

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for PTSD, and early studies have
shown that is also effective when used properly

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for certain anxiety disorders social anxiety disorders. So it has because the modern theory

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of psychology and psychiatry around mental health
is that most mental illnesses seem to stem

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from one or multiple past traumatic or
negative threatening experiences that we've had that have

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shaped the way we see ourselves in
the world. That we might have buried

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deep down beneath the surface of the
water in that iceberg metaphor right deep iceberg

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part that might be and probably is
maybe one hundred million times as big as

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the part that's sticking up out of
the surface. Then ketamine therapy in the

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context of having therapists a therapist or
two with you who understand how to help

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provide this effectively safe space for you
to bring up whatever comes up so that

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you don't resist it. Right,
because if you were feeling and you have

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the training, so when that memory
came up for you, you have the

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training to kind of address it and
allow it and process it. But for

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people who have those kinds of memories
come up in an unsafe environment terrifying,

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it's terrifying. It can be almost
like reliving a nightmare, right or the

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or the traumatic experience itself. And
so the main caveat of psychedelic medicines,

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the two main caveasts are number One, they're not for everyone, and number

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two they are they need to be
administered in the proper safe setting. Yeah,

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you don't go home and do this. This is something in a clinical

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setting with somebody observing and helping you
through the situation. You're listening to doctor

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Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI Am
six forty my guest doctor Dave Raven,

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medical doctor, psychiatrist, neuroscientist,
one of the leaders in psychedelic medicine,

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Doctor Rieban, Can we talk a
little bit about Matthew Perry's death heartbreaking?

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They say it was because of Ketymine. I thought Ketymine was safe. Yeah,

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it's a great question, and you
know, I think that it goes

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without saying that Matthew Perry's death was
an absolute tragedy and that as a medical

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community, we probably could have done
a better job helping him manage his addiction.

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Addiction itself is one of the most
challenging mental illnesses to manage today,

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and interestingly, psychedelic medicines used properly, as we were talking about earlier,

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in the safe environment, are one
of the best treatments that we have for

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addiction. Now that is coming down
the clinical trials pipeline but I think the

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main point to make here is that
ketymine is actually one of the safest me

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psychedelic medicines and the safest medicines for
depression with the lowest risk of side effects

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that we see across the board in
depression treatment. Wow, did he pass

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away from this? Because it has
sedative properties, and ketamine has actually been

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used for over seventy years, originally
as an anesthetic agent to prevent soldiers from

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going into shock when they're wounded in
Vietnam. That's how it originally started to

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be used. And it's used as
a surgical anesthetic to reduce pain and to

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help you don't get into hot tubs
when you have an anesthetic. Don't get

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into hot tubs with anything that sedates
you or anything that's an anesthetic. And

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he had, from what we can
tell, probably some other low levels of

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other medicines he was taking that were
also slightly sedating on board. And so

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you know, people can pass out
in hot tubs without any drugs on board,

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just by getting too hot. All
of a sudden, you add a

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sedative, hypnotic medication or something that
is slightly anesthetic in there, and you

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got Whitney Houston, and you have
a real problem. And I think that's

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why we don't recommend in general,
using any kind of sedative orhypnotic drug when

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you're in a hot tub, including
alcohol, but also to have somebody with

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you if you're taking any of those
medicines and you happen to go into an

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environment like that where you could pass
out a sauna, a hot tub.

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You know, most drownings unfortunately occur
in three feet of water, right,

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So we really need to be This
is just a warning call, I think

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to us to just be more careful
and mindful about what we're putting into our

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bodies when we're going into these seemingly
benign situation. Yeah, I mentioned Whitney

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Houston. I remember interviewing a doctor
after her tragic death, and he looked

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at the toxicology report and said,
there was a number of not only sedatives,

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but respiratory depressants. And so even
if you you know, for an

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average person, if we happen to
slide underwater, we have like an effect

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where we all you know, jerk
and open up our mouths. And she

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wouldn't have had the right that that
tool available under those medications. So heartbreaking

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and One of the common side effects
of ketamine that you know, we always

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educate people on when they're using it
under supervision is that ketamine, because of

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the nature of its dissociate and an
aesthetic properties, it makes it a little

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hard to move at peak doses.
And that's why that's why people you know,

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we we make sure people are supervised
when they're using it. But that's

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also why it works great for surgery, So we want we always try to

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make sure that people understand you may
not be able to take care of yourself

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for the next hour, so we
need to be extra careful that during that

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hour you're supervised, you're not doing
anything potentially dangerous. And unfortunately Matthew Perry

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didn't have that kind of supervision,
and so you know, ketamine was unlikely

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to be the cause of death,
but the misuse of it might and likely

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contributed to and probably with some of
the other medications. Exactly, it's a

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combo. Yeah, May he rest
in peace. Now. I want to

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talk a little bit about vibrations and
our body. You know, one of

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the things I teach in my health
psychology class is it's interesting that while religion

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happens to be in decline, in
our country, in Western cultures, that

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religiosity is highly correlated with better health
and longer life. Well partly because there

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isn't a religion who preaches sex,
drugs and rock and roll, so they

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kind of clean living'. But also
the community benefits all kinds of things.

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But there's also this chanting every religion
in the world, whether you're going or

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Hail Mary, full of grazo Lord
is with the You've got some kind of

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repetitive sound that makes vibrations in your
body. How does this relax somebody?

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So it's a great question, and
I think you know religion. There's three

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important things we can take away from
religion. You mentioned all three of them

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just now, right. So one
of them is community, right. Part

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of why religion is so beneficials because
it helps bring us together. Number two,

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it gives us something to believe in. It's greater than ourselves, hope,

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right. And we know from studies
now of people who have had terminal

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illnesses that if you believe in anything
bigger than yourself, your chances of survival

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and your experience of end of life
is better quality of life wise. And

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number three is the chanting and the
vibrations and the singing, and all of

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that comes together around what happens in
our nervous system, which is it helps

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us feel safe. Right, And
this is going back to one of my

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favorite topics and I think yours too, which is how we evolved as human

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beings and animals is we evolve to
keep each other and ourselves safe as a

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priority. So if we feel threatened
in our environment, our bodies don't function

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properly because they take all of our
available blood and resources and send it to

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heart, lungs, skeletal muscles,
motor cortex, fear center to get us

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out of that threatening situation, to
get to safety. And once we're in

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safety, all of a sudden,
we take all that blood and we send

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it back to reproduction, digestion,
immunity, metabolism at sleep, rest,

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and recovery, empathy, right,
all the stuff that we want to have

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active when we're not running from a
lion. So training our bodies over time

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with these three things. Belief,
community, safety from other people around us

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that we can trust and feel comfortable
around. And vibration all help, whether

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you're singing it or whether you're feeling
it through something like apollo or a hug

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or a purring cat all forms of
the healing vibration. They all help to

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amplify safety pathways in the brain and
body, which reduces stress and anxiety.

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Now you mentioned the word Apollo.
You have a company called Apollo that's got

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a vibration device that someone can wear
like on their wrists, their opera arm,

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and what does it do. So
we developed the apollotechnology actually out of

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my research into how psychedelic medicines work
and when I was being when I was

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training in psychedelic assisted therapy in over
the last ten years, I was always

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interested, why do these medicines plus
therapy with just a few doses. We're

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not talking daily dosing. We're talking, you know, three to twelve doses

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over twenty weeks, right, So
it's very few doses, and then there's

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a break and people get better in
the short term, and then they stay

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better long term, even if they've
never responded to any other treatments. So

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to put it very clearly, some
of the evidence that's coming out now around

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MDMA assisted therapy, which is on
the FDA's desk for clearance right now,

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and with ketamine for depression, which
is one of the only anti suicidal medications

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we've ever discovered incredible, right wow, and psilocybin for depression, which is

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having similar benefits. These are showing
in our trials some of the greatest results

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in terms of outcomes that we've ever
seen in the history of psychiatry. But

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they also require you to take a
psychedelic drug, which is not for everyone,

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and that requires therapists to be there. I'm a control freak, I'm

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afraid of drugs, right, and
lots of people are and lots of people

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by did I take that little vibrator
out of your hand chest? Well,

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lots of people aren't good candidates for
drugs too, like many children, right,

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and elderly folks. And so we
thought, well, if we can

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figure out the core pathways that are
being activated by the psychedelic therapy, maybe

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we can develop technology that activates those
pathways on the go for us and helps

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boost safety on the go. And
so we figured out in the University of

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Pittsburgh Department of Psychiatry that we could
deliver soothing vibrations to the body that kind

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of feel like if you're familiar with
holding a purring cat or getting a hug,

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and that feeling that feeling is something
we can induce for ourselves with breathing,

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and Apollo works by sending these soothing
vibrations to the body that induce that

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safe, natural, meditative breathing state
on the go. And so what is

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it? You wear it for how
long? And it's I mean, I'm

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holding it. It's a gentle vibration
feeling. But how does it actually work?

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So it works by you can wear
it as long as you want.

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It works anywhere in your body.
It's a pod. You can clip it

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onto your body. You can wear
it through clothing or overclothing. You can

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wear it on a strap. Most
people wear it on their chest or ankle

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or wrist, and you can wear
it as long as you want. It's

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basically music that you can't hear that
your body is sensitive to that calms the

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body and helps you to just feel
safe, in control, clear and focused.

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You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on
demand from KFI Am six forty.

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My guest doctor Dave Raebin, a
medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a neuroscientist,

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PhD. More letters after his name
than you could ever imagine, basically

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someone you should trust. Earlier,
you were telling us that you have this

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device called Apollo. I should say, where do people get this Apollo thing?

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They can go online and do Apollo
dot apolloneuro dot com, oh,

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Apollo neuro or wearable hugs dot com. Wearable hugs isn't that cute? Dot

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com? And this is vibrating thing
you can wear around It puts you in

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this state of relaxation, so you're
not in a stress anxiety fear state.

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My question is this, didn't mother
nature design some anxiety for a darn good

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reason? And if we walk around
two relaxed all the time, maybe we're

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not making good decisions. That's absolutely
true. And this is actually one of

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the things that's most commonly not taught
correctly is that we did evolve that system

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for a reason. But the evolutionary
biology field, and Eric Handell, who's

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also a famous psychiatrist and neuroscientist who
won the Nobel Prize in two thousand,

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basically won it for discovering that there
are only certain things we're supposed to have

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our fear center fight or flight system
turn on for. Oh, and those

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are actual survival threats running from a
lion, running from a lion, or

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por lack of food, lack of
water, lack of air, and lack

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of safe shelter. That's it.
But all the interpersonal problems, don't,

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They all boil down to I'll be
left alone in the jungle to die if

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they all abandon me. And that's
an assumption that we make that often increases

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our chances of being left alone because
then we act from a point of insecurity

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rather than strength. And so when
we act from insecurity, what do we

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do? We make more selfish decisions? Right? Wow. So that's called

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in psychology, it's called misappropriation of
threat, which simply put, is just

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interpreting things as threatening when they're actually
not right. And so that's what all

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00:28:37.519 --> 00:28:42.079
these meditations, soothing touch, soothing
music, psychology, and psychotherapy techniques have

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all focused on, is how do
we teach people to understand the skills and

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00:28:48.559 --> 00:28:52.680
practice the skills of reminding ourselves that
we're not under actual threat when we're not

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under actual threat, so that we
can allow our recovery system to do its

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00:28:57.279 --> 00:29:02.920
thing and keep us feeling good unless
we're actually running from a lion. Because

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00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:04.440
when we're actually running from a lion, our bodies don't allow us to do

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00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:07.920
anything else. We are in that
mode and we have to get out of

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00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:11.759
there before we can do anything else. And in today's time, we're not

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00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:18.359
running from lions. We were running
from emails exactly, traffic, mud slides,

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00:29:18.400 --> 00:29:21.440
whatever it may be. You know, over Christmas, I was at

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00:29:21.440 --> 00:29:25.799
a Christmas party and I met a
psychotherapist from Russia, and I said,

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00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:29.079
what's the difference between what are the
big issues in Russia compared to here?

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00:29:29.160 --> 00:29:30.519
You know, I love to find
out And she said, well, first

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00:29:30.559 --> 00:29:33.519
of all, Russians think it's crazy
that Americans always want to get rid of

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00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:37.000
their anxiety. Russians are like,
we need to be worried, we have

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00:29:37.039 --> 00:29:41.960
anxiety, we don't want to get
rid of it. About how fascinating anyway,

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00:29:41.279 --> 00:29:49.039
let's talk about relationships, love and
how this Apollo device can even help

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00:29:49.079 --> 00:29:56.640
your relationships. So one of the
biggest challenges that we face in feeling afraid

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or feeling stressed is thinking, like
you alluded to earlier, that we might

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00:30:02.440 --> 00:30:06.359
not be loved or we might not
be accepted by our colleagues, our friends,

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00:30:06.359 --> 00:30:11.079
our peers, our families, and
that can make us feel really unpleasant

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00:30:11.079 --> 00:30:15.319
and uncomfortable because we all as humans
want to be loved, We want to

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00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:18.880
be accepted. We want to be
connected to our community. It's fundamentally important,

429
00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:23.119
critical for our healthy, happy survival, and for joy in our lives.

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00:30:23.839 --> 00:30:27.319
And we have huge parts of our
brains that evolved, like the insolent

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00:30:27.400 --> 00:30:32.640
cortex, that are solely responsible for
empathy and connecting with other human beings,

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00:30:32.680 --> 00:30:37.119
and we need to use those parts. So tools like Apollo we develop to

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00:30:37.160 --> 00:30:41.960
try to help retrain us to remember
how to use those parts of our brains

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00:30:41.960 --> 00:30:48.640
again through our sense of touch.
And what's really interesting is that the two

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00:30:48.720 --> 00:30:53.319
states that are most vulnerable and therefore
scary for us when we when we're feeling

436
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:59.559
stressed out are sleep because sleep is
when we're completely physically defenseless. So we

437
00:30:59.599 --> 00:31:02.839
have to feel safe to get into
deep and rem sleep states, which is

438
00:31:02.880 --> 00:31:07.240
where where we get all our physical
and emotional mental recovery. And then sexual

439
00:31:07.599 --> 00:31:11.720
and intimacy in relationships because oh yeah, you've got to be relaxed. You've

440
00:31:11.720 --> 00:31:14.880
got to be relaxed, and the
room's got to be clean, Julio,

441
00:31:14.920 --> 00:31:18.000
if you're listening, we need to
clean their bedroom. Okay, they'll work

442
00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:22.359
better, yeah, because you're really
like allowing yourself to completely open up and

443
00:31:22.400 --> 00:31:26.559
connect with another human being, and
that's vulnerable. And especially if you're a

444
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:32.200
woman, you're you're often uh,
you know, and you're and you're interacting

445
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:36.160
and dating men. Right, men
have more physical prowess, more strength,

446
00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:40.319
ment. There's a huge history of
violence against women from men. We can't

447
00:31:40.359 --> 00:31:44.200
deny it, right, That's just
part of our unfortunate and unfortunate part of

448
00:31:44.200 --> 00:31:48.079
our society, and that collective trauma
exists. And so a lot of the

449
00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:55.279
tools we use help around sex and
intimacy and love and connection are really about

450
00:31:55.319 --> 00:31:59.039
just helping women and men feel safe
in their own bodies. And over the

451
00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:00.880
last few years we figure out a
way to do that for women for intimacy

452
00:32:00.960 --> 00:32:05.240
using Apollo, which is really exciting. So Apollo has a separate setting,

453
00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:08.519
like a vibe setting that increases intimacy
for women. It does what's it called.

454
00:32:08.599 --> 00:32:14.119
It's called the love vibe of course, and anybody who has the Apollo

455
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:20.200
app and the Smart Vibes sub brain
of Apollo, which is where we the

456
00:32:20.279 --> 00:32:23.759
Apollo as a device comes with eight
eight vibes that you can select from which

457
00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:29.839
allow you to access different states of
anything from high energy and focus and socializing

458
00:32:30.279 --> 00:32:35.279
to calm relaxation meditation. This is
a special vibe that we released to all

459
00:32:35.359 --> 00:32:38.799
of the subscription users that are members
of Smart Vibes, which allows people to

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00:32:38.839 --> 00:32:44.200
access the more advanced and interesting states
that we've discovered over the years, and

461
00:32:44.279 --> 00:32:47.200
one of them is intimacy for women
and helping women feel safe enough in their

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00:32:47.200 --> 00:32:52.079
own bodies to allow themselves to really
connect with their partners physically, mentally,

463
00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:57.400
emotionally. So would it be possible
we can give one away to a listener?

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00:32:57.599 --> 00:32:59.880
Of course, all right, listen
to it. Verdie next week.

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00:33:00.279 --> 00:33:02.240
Next week when I get one of
my hot little hands, Cayla's going to

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00:33:02.279 --> 00:33:05.519
be taking your calls, We're going
to open up the phone lines and you

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00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:13.119
can call in and win an Apollo
device that has the Love Vibe on it.

468
00:33:13.119 --> 00:33:16.440
It is always a pleasure to meet
someone of your caliber, your expertise,

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00:33:16.519 --> 00:33:21.759
and you're well spoken, doctor Rabin. Now where can people find out

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00:33:21.799 --> 00:33:25.720
more about you? Please come find
me on my website at Apollo dot clinic

471
00:33:25.880 --> 00:33:30.279
or doctor Dave dot io, and
come find me on socials. I love

472
00:33:30.319 --> 00:33:32.960
to hear from you and hear your
thoughts. It's at doctor David Rabin on

473
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:38.039
Instagram and Twitter. You got doctor
Dave dot Io. Look at that,

474
00:33:38.039 --> 00:33:44.359
that's a URL man. You've been
listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can

475
00:33:44.400 --> 00:33:47.039
always hear us live on KFI AM
six forty from seven to nine pm on

476
00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:51.799
Sunday and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app