This is doctor Wendy Walsh and you're listening to k I Am six forty,
the Doctor Wendy Waalsh Show on demand on the iHeartRadio app Doctor Doctor Billy the
Louse, I Gotta loving you. K I Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. This is the Doctor Wendy Walls Show. Just
a reminder. I'm a psychology professor at cal State Channel Islands, but I
am obsessed with the science of love. I've written three books on relationships and
I did my dissertation on attachment theory. If you don't know what your attachment
style is, should take one of those online tests because you'll learn a lot.
It explains all of life to me, Kayla, attachment he really does
how everybody behaves. Anyway, I'm going to my social media. You can
follow me on Instagram, TikTok, wherever, YouTube, whatever, at doctor
Wendy Walsh, at d R Wendy Walsh. So here we go, going
too the DMS. Hey, oh yes, yes, this woman. Okay,
she's getting ready to go on a first date. Hi, Doctor Wendy,
can I get some input? I met this guy on a dating app.
We're supposed to meet up tomorrow for our first date. For the first
time, he just asked me if I'm on birth control, which really threw
me off. Feels like he's trying to see if we're going to have sex
without protection. Should I cancel? Am I overreacting? Okay? Let me
I gotta explain here. First of all, it depends what you want.
If you want to go hook up with this gentleman, then do and you
should still use protection because that means he asks every other woman if she's on
birth control or not. So that means he's been free wheeling without any kind
of parachute. Okay, he's jumping from that plane without a parachute. So
on the other hand, if you're looking for a long term relationship, this
should be a giant red flag that says I am never going to go out
with you. I'm gonna confide something to you. I'm a grown ass woman.
But can I say that on the radio? Is that a swear word?
I don't know. I like it, you like it? You like
it? Okay. But during the pandemic, I was on dating apps.
Well, I mean that's where I met my holy o, right, and
this one guy I always got on a phone call pretty quickly within a few
texts, because I want to get a feel for them, and you know
what, he had the nerve to say to me. We had a lovely
conversation date set up for coffee for the next couple of days. He literally
said to me, Oh, by the way, I just want to say
that I always expect sex on the first date. Swear to god. He
said that to me, and I said, okay, well, don't expect
to go out with me. Then that's why I said, you just don't
if you're looking for a real relation. I was looking for a real relationship,
so that was a big red flag. Okay, hi, doctor Wendy
writes this person, So I'm talking to this guy who I met almost twelve
years ago. Oh well, that's the slow boat of love. Never spoke,
but I knew he'd gotten married and whatnot. Recently we connected and I
learned he got a divorce and he has three kids. I have kids myself,
but they're teenagers. I would definitely see myself with some and small kids.
That's not a problem for me. But he doesn't talk much about that.
I ask him questions leaning towards learning what he's looking for, and if
he's dating, but he doesn't ask me the same questions? Am I overthinking?
Should I just give it some time? Or should I not even proceed
with this because I don't see interest. However, it has been two weeks.
I think he's looking for a good time too, and I'm ready to
settle down. Help, I'm following for this guy who's doing the bare minimum.
Well, you just answered the question, I'm falling for this guy who's
doing the bare minimum. How do I sot myself for falling? No,
you cannot stop yourself from falling for him, but you do need to slow
down this boat. You're acting like two weeks is two years, right?
You want this guy to open up. What are his girls? What does
he want? I don't know if you're having sex yet, but that seems
a little rushed. If you want a long term, healthy relationship, slow
down this boat. When you say I'm falling for him, don't fall think
put your brain in gear, okay, because it sure sounds to me like
there might be some kind of anxious attachment thing going on. You're gonna you
can become a klingon to this guy, move a little bit too fast with
him, So I think he's doing the bare minimum. I want to say
this, Okay, in the first few weeks, he should be jumping through
hoops to see you, to pay for things whatever. If he's not,
then he's not that interested, he's not that into you. You should just
dump him. I'm not gonna tell you how to stop falling for him,
but I will tell you that if he's not jumping through hoops in the first
two weeks. But then this whole thing about I need to know what he's
thinking, whether he wants another family, whether he wants more kids or whatever.
That takes time for all that to roll out. Two weeks is not
enough. But is he paying for things? Is he organizing dates? Is
he planning stuff? I don't know. Seems a lot. You guys got
five six kids in the mix there. It's a very complicated thing you got
going on, all right, Dear doctor Wendy, help, This person writes
with four exclamation marks. I mean, they really want some help. I'm
constantly finding myself self sabotaging, self tabotaging, sabotage, sabotage, sabatogal sabotaging,
sabotaging, stage sabotaging, self sabotaging any sort of relationship, situation,
meet up, whatever, what's wrong with me? It's like, as soon
as I feel that there's a connection with someone, my mind starts to microanalyze
everything they say or do. An example might be if I'm used to calling
or texting, if I'm used to them calling or texting me every night,
and then they go silent for a day, when I start to send the
cringe text and act clinging, and boom, they end the connection because quote,
it's not what they're looking for. It's a cycle. I keep finding
myself in what the heck? I will tell you what the heck, darling.
I used to have that heck key problem, and I saw a therapist,
and I really encourage you to see one too, because you know why,
you're not crazy. You have trouble controlling your anxiety in the early stages
of relationship where nobody knows where this is going. Somebody with a secure attachment
style, by the way, still feels nervous and excited, a little worried
at the beginning of relationship. But they know that they are lovable, They
know they have a strong backbone, and they know that even if this relationship
or this person goes away that they're going to be okay, and that gives
them the inner strength to just kind of chill. The world doesn't end if
they don't for a day. Just busy yourself with your own stuff. I
always say to people, stay happy and busy while you're waiting, because the
answer will be obvious to you if you just wait and see. But if
you can't wait, if your urgency to connect is pushing people away, then
I really highly encourage you to see a therapist, especially a therapist who understands
attachment theory, who can help you get the skills. Look. I spent
in and out different times, a total of eighteen years in therapy, and
I learned how to self console, how to control my feelings. But listen,
I dated so many bad boys. I threw myself at them. I
did all the wrong things. I slept with them too early. I was
thinking today, So I baked a pie today for Ma Julio. I took
some of the dough Kayla, and I cut it into a shape of a
heart for the center of it. It was a strawberry pie. I have
a piece in my piece doesn't have a heart. Ollio's so lucky. He
ate the heart he eat my heart out. But as I was you know,
there's a technique, by the way, with butter and flour when you're
making the crust, is you just put it between your forefinger and your thumb
and you squish it aside, so that makes the layers of butter that starts
to fluff up to get a flaky crust. Right. And as I'm doing
it, I suddenly have this memory that you know, years and years ago,
when I was a young single woman, I was throwing myself at this
playboy. It's a bake forum. One time, I rent all these stores
before online books, and I found the perfect architecture book for this new business
he was designing, and I dropped it off anonymously at his place of work,
you know, a little card. And I remember one time baking him
a pie and just dropping it off over it. I mean, I threw
myself at this guy who was doing worse than the bare minimum, right,
And I was so injured and so damaged that when I spoke to him after
dropping off the pie, and he didn't mention it, and I brought it
up and I said, hey, you did you get the pie? I
left it at your apartment door. And he said, I mean it sounded
like a freaking stockard. And he said, yeah, it was very buttery,
flaky crust. I'll tell you that sustained to me for like three months.
He said something nice. I mean that's how crazy I was. Oh
that was a compliment. Yeah, oh like that was that was a step
up. And it was a flaky, buttery crust that shows the bare minimum.
That's that. He asked how much I accepted. That's all I needed.
I just needed vapors. And I tell you everything that you just did
and you got anybody would be lucky to snatch you up pie and architecture books
like that's so thoughtful. L says that all the time. You know what
he said. The other day he was trying to go to work and he
had a suit on and everything. Go into an office and I turn around.
He's got a broom in a dustpan and he's sweeping the floor. And
h he says, I sure, I'm lucky you're such a good cook,
because you're a messy cook. He was literally like he didn't care. He
was so happy because I'm so happy to sweep this floor. Is such a
good cook. You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI AM six
forty. You know, I get really excited when I have a guest that
has a bigger brain than me. I measured actually his like four inches in
circumference, bigger than mine. He has more degrees than you can imagine.
I'm sure I would need a dictionary to translate some of his research papers,
but it's always a thrill. My next guest is doctor Dave Raven. He's
not only an MD. Is See when they have a whole bunch of letters
after their names, you got to let go whoa not only a medical doctor,
a PhD, A neuroscientist, a psychiatrist. Yeah, that's like up
above a psychologist because they can give you the med stew He is co founder
of something called Apollo Neuroscience. We're gonna talk about later, but a lot
of his research has to do with ketamine, an MDA m A assisted therapy
with his patients. Basically, he's a leader psychedelic field. Welcome, doctor
Rabind, how are you great? Thanks so much? Tracking me, Wendy
R. Brain is like bursting out your ears. You're too kind of so,
you know, ketamine has been in the news recently sadly, a beloved
celebrity who suffered with addiction most of his life, Matthew Perry from Friends,
passed away and when the toxicology results came out, they said he had an
overdose of ketamine. All right, First of all, let's go to the
beginning. What is a psychedelic drug? What is ketamine? Is it something
like having to do with magic mushrooms. That's a great place to start.
And I think one of the most common misunderstandings that we have is about what
the word psychedelic means, because it doesn't actually just refer to drugs. It
actually refers to a state of mind. And psyche means mind from Latin Dellos
means to show or to reveal. So what we're really talking about is entering
states of mind or states of conscious awareness where we're revealing parts of ourselves to
us that are effectively not necessarily noticeable, things that have happened to us in
the past, past memories, parts of ourselves that maybe we don't like,
that we shoved underneath the surface because people in our childhood told us that those,
you know, weren't the best parts we should be showing off. And
so in us with the psychedelic drug like ketnymine or MDMA or psilocybin, which
are in trials now, and ketamine is the only legal psychedelic medicine we have
available for depression. These medicines are molecular tools that help us to basically quiet
our survival ego mind for a short amount of time so that we can bear
witness to what lies underneath the surface of our consciousness, and so it reduces
our defenses and we're able to act properly. Are unconscious, you know.
I teach undergrads, and when I'm trying to explain the difference between the conscious
and the unconscious, I show one of those classic pictures of the iceberg with
just the tip above the ocean and the giant iceberg underneath it, and I
say, that's our conscious up there above. That's what we're aware of,
our thoughts. We think we know everything, but that's it. The rest
is going on below surface. I know lay people like to use the word
subconscious, but as fancy people use the word unconscious. In the unconscious is
really the big motivators for our behavior. So you're saying, psychedelics help us
look underwater and see what's there. Exactly, and you nailed it with that
metaphor. I think that's one of the best metaphors for consciousness because when you
and the most important thing is you can access psychedelic states of mind. And
we all have accessed these states of mind without drugs. So the most common
way is in dreams. Right. We know that when we dream, we're
starting to experience things about ourselves and about the world that we don't necessarily notice
when we're awake. And part of that is because our ego, our defensive
mind that's awake and active all the time during the day, feel safe enough
to relax and calm down, and then we can become aware and start to
notice things going on beneath the surface. So if you think about what psychedelic
medicines are doing, and what deep breathing, intentional breathing states are doing,
a meditation and yoga, they're all bringing us access to the same states which
are effectively psychedelic, like dreams. And ketamine is really interesting because it's only
sixty to ninety minutes as a therapy, but it gives people access to a
very when used properly, a very comfortable, safe, dream like state where
they can start to self reflect non judgmentally on themselves. And when you've been
judging yourself for maybe days, weeks, months, decades, being able to
observe yourself without judgment could be one of the most therapeutic things you've experienced in
your entire life. And I want to add this about dreams. My belief
system on dreams is that they're never literal folks. They're always metaphors. And
everything in the dream, whether it's the chair, the cigarette, you,
the person they're talking to, is a piece of you. So I always
ask you, like, well, if you were the chair, what would
you think of that? You know, if you are the other person you
were talking to, what you think? And that's one of the ways to
access some good what di if froid call it the Royal Road to the unconscious
dream material. I years ago, when I was in psychotherapy psychoanalysis had EMDR.
Look. I opened my hands like this when I said, at EMDR,
it feels like it's opening a circuit board. And for those who don't
know what does EMDR stand for, it's I have to think eye movement disensitation
in an R and rabbit. I was something and so the clinician just takes
their finger and goes back and forth, and you just watch it back and
forth like a tennis match with your eyes, and it somehow relaxes your consciousness
and you're able to access early memories. I actually, in EMDR remembered in
a non traumatic way some abuse by a dentist when I was six. And
the way I described the memory afterwards is I said to her, you know,
it feels like you know when you leave a restaurant and you go,
oh my god, I forgot my purse and you run back real quick because
it's something important, but you just ran back to get it. The world
wasn't ending, just oh my god, I forgot my purse. That was
Oh my god, I forgot that memory, And there it is. So
let's talk about uses of you said, ketamine is the only legal psychedelic drug
at this point, what is it mostly prescribe for. So ketamine is only
FDA cleared at this point for treatment resistant depression, but it's used off label
for PTSD, and early studies have shown that is also effective when used properly
for certain anxiety disorders social anxiety disorders. So it has because the modern theory
of psychology and psychiatry around mental health is that most mental illnesses seem to stem
from one or multiple past traumatic or negative threatening experiences that we've had that have
shaped the way we see ourselves in the world. That we might have buried
deep down beneath the surface of the water in that iceberg metaphor right deep iceberg
part that might be and probably is maybe one hundred million times as big as
the part that's sticking up out of the surface. Then ketamine therapy in the
context of having therapists a therapist or two with you who understand how to help
provide this effectively safe space for you to bring up whatever comes up so that
you don't resist it. Right, because if you were feeling and you have
the training, so when that memory came up for you, you have the
training to kind of address it and allow it and process it. But for
people who have those kinds of memories come up in an unsafe environment terrifying,
it's terrifying. It can be almost like reliving a nightmare, right or the
or the traumatic experience itself. And so the main caveat of psychedelic medicines,
the two main caveasts are number One, they're not for everyone, and number
two they are they need to be administered in the proper safe setting. Yeah,
you don't go home and do this. This is something in a clinical
setting with somebody observing and helping you through the situation. You're listening to doctor
Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI Am six forty my guest doctor Dave Raven,
medical doctor, psychiatrist, neuroscientist, one of the leaders in psychedelic medicine,
Doctor Rieban, Can we talk a little bit about Matthew Perry's death heartbreaking?
They say it was because of Ketymine. I thought Ketymine was safe. Yeah,
it's a great question, and you know, I think that it goes
without saying that Matthew Perry's death was an absolute tragedy and that as a medical
community, we probably could have done a better job helping him manage his addiction.
Addiction itself is one of the most challenging mental illnesses to manage today,
and interestingly, psychedelic medicines used properly, as we were talking about earlier,
in the safe environment, are one of the best treatments that we have for
addiction. Now that is coming down the clinical trials pipeline but I think the
main point to make here is that ketymine is actually one of the safest me
psychedelic medicines and the safest medicines for depression with the lowest risk of side effects
that we see across the board in depression treatment. Wow, did he pass
away from this? Because it has sedative properties, and ketamine has actually been
used for over seventy years, originally as an anesthetic agent to prevent soldiers from
going into shock when they're wounded in Vietnam. That's how it originally started to
be used. And it's used as a surgical anesthetic to reduce pain and to
help you don't get into hot tubs when you have an anesthetic. Don't get
into hot tubs with anything that sedates you or anything that's an anesthetic. And
he had, from what we can tell, probably some other low levels of
other medicines he was taking that were also slightly sedating on board. And so
you know, people can pass out in hot tubs without any drugs on board,
just by getting too hot. All of a sudden, you add a
sedative, hypnotic medication or something that is slightly anesthetic in there, and you
got Whitney Houston, and you have a real problem. And I think that's
why we don't recommend in general, using any kind of sedative orhypnotic drug when
you're in a hot tub, including alcohol, but also to have somebody with
you if you're taking any of those medicines and you happen to go into an
environment like that where you could pass out a sauna, a hot tub.
You know, most drownings unfortunately occur in three feet of water, right,
So we really need to be This is just a warning call, I think
to us to just be more careful and mindful about what we're putting into our
bodies when we're going into these seemingly benign situation. Yeah, I mentioned Whitney
Houston. I remember interviewing a doctor after her tragic death, and he looked
at the toxicology report and said, there was a number of not only sedatives,
but respiratory depressants. And so even if you you know, for an
average person, if we happen to slide underwater, we have like an effect
where we all you know, jerk and open up our mouths. And she
wouldn't have had the right that that tool available under those medications. So heartbreaking
and One of the common side effects of ketamine that you know, we always
educate people on when they're using it under supervision is that ketamine, because of
the nature of its dissociate and an aesthetic properties, it makes it a little
hard to move at peak doses. And that's why that's why people you know,
we we make sure people are supervised when they're using it. But that's
also why it works great for surgery, So we want we always try to
make sure that people understand you may not be able to take care of yourself
for the next hour, so we need to be extra careful that during that
hour you're supervised, you're not doing anything potentially dangerous. And unfortunately Matthew Perry
didn't have that kind of supervision, and so you know, ketamine was unlikely
to be the cause of death, but the misuse of it might and likely
contributed to and probably with some of the other medications. Exactly, it's a
combo. Yeah, May he rest in peace. Now. I want to
talk a little bit about vibrations and our body. You know, one of
the things I teach in my health psychology class is it's interesting that while religion
happens to be in decline, in our country, in Western cultures, that
religiosity is highly correlated with better health and longer life. Well partly because there
isn't a religion who preaches sex, drugs and rock and roll, so they
kind of clean living'. But also the community benefits all kinds of things.
But there's also this chanting every religion in the world, whether you're going or
Hail Mary, full of grazo Lord is with the You've got some kind of
repetitive sound that makes vibrations in your body. How does this relax somebody?
So it's a great question, and I think you know religion. There's three
important things we can take away from religion. You mentioned all three of them
just now, right. So one of them is community, right. Part
of why religion is so beneficials because it helps bring us together. Number two,
it gives us something to believe in. It's greater than ourselves, hope,
right. And we know from studies now of people who have had terminal
illnesses that if you believe in anything bigger than yourself, your chances of survival
and your experience of end of life is better quality of life wise. And
number three is the chanting and the vibrations and the singing, and all of
that comes together around what happens in our nervous system, which is it helps
us feel safe. Right, And this is going back to one of my
favorite topics and I think yours too, which is how we evolved as human
beings and animals is we evolve to keep each other and ourselves safe as a
priority. So if we feel threatened in our environment, our bodies don't function
properly because they take all of our available blood and resources and send it to
heart, lungs, skeletal muscles, motor cortex, fear center to get us
out of that threatening situation, to get to safety. And once we're in
safety, all of a sudden, we take all that blood and we send
it back to reproduction, digestion, immunity, metabolism at sleep, rest,
and recovery, empathy, right, all the stuff that we want to have
active when we're not running from a lion. So training our bodies over time
with these three things. Belief, community, safety from other people around us
that we can trust and feel comfortable around. And vibration all help, whether
you're singing it or whether you're feeling it through something like apollo or a hug
or a purring cat all forms of the healing vibration. They all help to
amplify safety pathways in the brain and body, which reduces stress and anxiety.
Now you mentioned the word Apollo. You have a company called Apollo that's got
a vibration device that someone can wear like on their wrists, their opera arm,
and what does it do. So we developed the apollotechnology actually out of
my research into how psychedelic medicines work and when I was being when I was
training in psychedelic assisted therapy in over the last ten years, I was always
interested, why do these medicines plus therapy with just a few doses. We're
not talking daily dosing. We're talking, you know, three to twelve doses
over twenty weeks, right, So it's very few doses, and then there's
a break and people get better in the short term, and then they stay
better long term, even if they've never responded to any other treatments. So
to put it very clearly, some of the evidence that's coming out now around
MDMA assisted therapy, which is on the FDA's desk for clearance right now,
and with ketamine for depression, which is one of the only anti suicidal medications
we've ever discovered incredible, right wow, and psilocybin for depression, which is
having similar benefits. These are showing in our trials some of the greatest results
in terms of outcomes that we've ever seen in the history of psychiatry. But
they also require you to take a psychedelic drug, which is not for everyone,
and that requires therapists to be there. I'm a control freak, I'm
afraid of drugs, right, and lots of people are and lots of people
by did I take that little vibrator out of your hand chest? Well,
lots of people aren't good candidates for drugs too, like many children, right,
and elderly folks. And so we thought, well, if we can
figure out the core pathways that are being activated by the psychedelic therapy, maybe
we can develop technology that activates those pathways on the go for us and helps
boost safety on the go. And so we figured out in the University of
Pittsburgh Department of Psychiatry that we could deliver soothing vibrations to the body that kind
of feel like if you're familiar with holding a purring cat or getting a hug,
and that feeling that feeling is something we can induce for ourselves with breathing,
and Apollo works by sending these soothing vibrations to the body that induce that
safe, natural, meditative breathing state on the go. And so what is
it? You wear it for how long? And it's I mean, I'm
holding it. It's a gentle vibration feeling. But how does it actually work?
So it works by you can wear it as long as you want.
It works anywhere in your body. It's a pod. You can clip it
onto your body. You can wear it through clothing or overclothing. You can
wear it on a strap. Most people wear it on their chest or ankle
or wrist, and you can wear it as long as you want. It's
basically music that you can't hear that your body is sensitive to that calms the
body and helps you to just feel safe, in control, clear and focused.
You're listening to doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI Am six forty.
My guest doctor Dave Raebin, a medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a neuroscientist,
PhD. More letters after his name than you could ever imagine, basically
someone you should trust. Earlier, you were telling us that you have this
device called Apollo. I should say, where do people get this Apollo thing?
They can go online and do Apollo dot apolloneuro dot com, oh,
Apollo neuro or wearable hugs dot com. Wearable hugs isn't that cute? Dot
com? And this is vibrating thing you can wear around It puts you in
this state of relaxation, so you're not in a stress anxiety fear state.
My question is this, didn't mother nature design some anxiety for a darn good
reason? And if we walk around two relaxed all the time, maybe we're
not making good decisions. That's absolutely true. And this is actually one of
the things that's most commonly not taught correctly is that we did evolve that system
for a reason. But the evolutionary biology field, and Eric Handell, who's
also a famous psychiatrist and neuroscientist who won the Nobel Prize in two thousand,
basically won it for discovering that there are only certain things we're supposed to have
our fear center fight or flight system turn on for. Oh, and those
are actual survival threats running from a lion, running from a lion, or
por lack of food, lack of water, lack of air, and lack
of safe shelter. That's it. But all the interpersonal problems, don't,
They all boil down to I'll be left alone in the jungle to die if
they all abandon me. And that's an assumption that we make that often increases
our chances of being left alone because then we act from a point of insecurity
rather than strength. And so when we act from insecurity, what do we
do? We make more selfish decisions? Right? Wow. So that's called
in psychology, it's called misappropriation of threat, which simply put, is just
interpreting things as threatening when they're actually not right. And so that's what all
these meditations, soothing touch, soothing music, psychology, and psychotherapy techniques have
all focused on, is how do we teach people to understand the skills and
practice the skills of reminding ourselves that we're not under actual threat when we're not
under actual threat, so that we can allow our recovery system to do its
thing and keep us feeling good unless we're actually running from a lion. Because
when we're actually running from a lion, our bodies don't allow us to do
anything else. We are in that mode and we have to get out of
there before we can do anything else. And in today's time, we're not
running from lions. We were running from emails exactly, traffic, mud slides,
whatever it may be. You know, over Christmas, I was at
a Christmas party and I met a psychotherapist from Russia, and I said,
what's the difference between what are the big issues in Russia compared to here?
You know, I love to find out And she said, well, first
of all, Russians think it's crazy that Americans always want to get rid of
their anxiety. Russians are like, we need to be worried, we have
anxiety, we don't want to get rid of it. About how fascinating anyway,
let's talk about relationships, love and how this Apollo device can even help
your relationships. So one of the biggest challenges that we face in feeling afraid
or feeling stressed is thinking, like you alluded to earlier, that we might
not be loved or we might not be accepted by our colleagues, our friends,
our peers, our families, and that can make us feel really unpleasant
and uncomfortable because we all as humans want to be loved, We want to
be accepted. We want to be connected to our community. It's fundamentally important,
critical for our healthy, happy survival, and for joy in our lives.
And we have huge parts of our brains that evolved, like the insolent
cortex, that are solely responsible for empathy and connecting with other human beings,
and we need to use those parts. So tools like Apollo we develop to
try to help retrain us to remember how to use those parts of our brains
again through our sense of touch. And what's really interesting is that the two
states that are most vulnerable and therefore scary for us when we when we're feeling
stressed out are sleep because sleep is when we're completely physically defenseless. So we
have to feel safe to get into deep and rem sleep states, which is
where where we get all our physical and emotional mental recovery. And then sexual
and intimacy in relationships because oh yeah, you've got to be relaxed. You've
got to be relaxed, and the room's got to be clean, Julio,
if you're listening, we need to clean their bedroom. Okay, they'll work
better, yeah, because you're really like allowing yourself to completely open up and
connect with another human being, and that's vulnerable. And especially if you're a
woman, you're you're often uh, you know, and you're and you're interacting
and dating men. Right, men have more physical prowess, more strength,
ment. There's a huge history of violence against women from men. We can't
deny it, right, That's just part of our unfortunate and unfortunate part of
our society, and that collective trauma exists. And so a lot of the
tools we use help around sex and intimacy and love and connection are really about
just helping women and men feel safe in their own bodies. And over the
last few years we figure out a way to do that for women for intimacy
using Apollo, which is really exciting. So Apollo has a separate setting,
like a vibe setting that increases intimacy for women. It does what's it called.
It's called the love vibe of course, and anybody who has the Apollo
app and the Smart Vibes sub brain of Apollo, which is where we the
Apollo as a device comes with eight eight vibes that you can select from which
allow you to access different states of anything from high energy and focus and socializing
to calm relaxation meditation. This is a special vibe that we released to all
of the subscription users that are members of Smart Vibes, which allows people to
access the more advanced and interesting states that we've discovered over the years, and
one of them is intimacy for women and helping women feel safe enough in their
own bodies to allow themselves to really connect with their partners physically, mentally,
emotionally. So would it be possible we can give one away to a listener?
Of course, all right, listen to it. Verdie next week.
Next week when I get one of my hot little hands, Cayla's going to
be taking your calls, We're going to open up the phone lines and you
can call in and win an Apollo device that has the Love Vibe on it.
It is always a pleasure to meet someone of your caliber, your expertise,
and you're well spoken, doctor Rabin. Now where can people find out
more about you? Please come find me on my website at Apollo dot clinic
or doctor Dave dot io, and come find me on socials. I love
to hear from you and hear your thoughts. It's at doctor David Rabin on
Instagram and Twitter. You got doctor Dave dot Io. Look at that,
that's a URL man. You've been listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You can
always hear us live on KFI AM six forty from seven to nine pm on
Sunday and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app