Comedy Central Podcast. Okay, thank you. First of all, thank you
all who are here tonight for your presence and those who have not been able
to come to thank you for your absence, because you have to be grateful
in this fucking world. Not how you are moderately. I don' t
dare make assessments about my state of mind. I' m waiting for standard
press make the report. You know standard am purs in Spanish standard and purs
is mediocre and poor. It is as if the People' s Party,
in a great exercise of sincerity, were to be called the Papist and then
not, or the Socialist Party, for example, you are to be called
the Party, which is parties without ethical objectives. It wouldn' t be
more or less similar. Not good. Seeing what my start has been,
we' re going to take off our masks. Friends. I am Fernando
Moreño and I belong to the fifteen meters of this new radical terrorist movement.
I' m sorry, but not on pressure. We have been linked to
Alcaeda, the far right Spanish and Neta. We are what is said,
a great example of living together in earnest. Not really. I was at
home the other day cooking and I heard on the radio the fifteen meters the
puppies of ETA and I said I was freaked out at that moment call my
mother, because you know that mothers as soon as there is a problem,
there they are already. Besides, it says what you do, son,
and nothing, Mom that I' m a terrorist. Says and pays well,
I good raw, but well what time we' re going to do
no, and says well, son, mine And it can be what you
' ve done to call you magazine, because you haven' t lentils,
mom and you don' t make lentils anymore that you' re all day
sliding the favor, but it' s awesome. No, but, well,
it must be said that 15 meters is full. It' s full.
It is full of dangerous groups, such as teachers, students, doctors,
people very harmful to society, not who are usually repressed by riot control.
Eh I don' t know if you know that the budget in riot
control has multiplied only one thousand seven hundred eighty percent, because, as we
are in a time of austerity, we don' t want to pass either.
And yes, because let' s really say they' re investing in
a new education system because teachers open minds, but riot control opens heads directly.
Thought goes faster in the new fiber optics. You know what it looks
like. Yes, they are investing in a new system of education, which
is the one that says that the letter with blood comes from all life.
But it seems that all the jobs promised by the People' s Party are
going to be bad luck. Not in that sense, because we have been
luckier. We know that these collectives are generally used to maintain public order.
But since public order has been privatized and they no longer know what they are
defending, they are giving the right and sinister shit and they don' t
know anything about it. And it makes me angry that they beat teachers to
doctors, students, people related to conscience, to humanity, to knowledge and,
for example, to the coast that is crying out for a host and
that no one remembers it. You know, it tastes bad, it tastes
bad. Thank you, thank you. In any case, I mean good.
I belong to the fifteenth, because I am a rebel. I'
m a rebel. I am a rebel because the world has done this to
me, not because no one has treated me with love and because it gets
out of my mind, no, among many other things. I didn'
t imagine if I heard rebel I was born dead, uh, and look
at me now what' s tampa, uh, I' m about to
move in. Not really. I' ve overcome fivesides, the last one
with pimple and twenty- five crustipates that don' t kill, but bother.
Hey, things are the way they are and you' re gonna say
pussy with everything that' s happened to him, he hasn' t dropped
his hair or anything. He' s got great hair why. Because I
' m a strong constitution, not like this country. Hey, the Constitution
is like my cousin, she doesn' t respect anyone. Thank you.
They' ll still fucking tell you. If this guy hasn' t died
with everything that' s happened, he' s agreed with the devil pussy.
The socialists or the populars don' t agree and nothing happens. The
other day I was reading the press because I' m a snop. I
will not deny it and in the contact section I see Socialist Party. Look
for voters. It doesn' t matter ideology. We haven' t had
one in a while. But, yes, I am Satan' s son.
I am Satan' s son, but not because I love the person.
I' m a charming being who can take me wherever you want to
see I' m a very nice guy. The thing is, I'
ve had bad luck. Not that I have infinite evil within me. I
' ve had bad luck why. Because my mother is called Luz and my
father Fernando and I, because I am the son of Luz Ifer, but
it has been bad luck. Don' t condemn me so quickly. Besides,
I don' t believe in hell. I don' t think there
' s any hell after this no improvement. I don' t believe it.
I don' t believe in paradise, as Luis Bárcenas would say.
You know, Luis Bárcena you' ve known in the People' s Party
as Luis the bastard I give him. Luis, I don' t get
it, not really, but, well, thank you. Then there is
the Muslim paradise or the people of the Cuscus clan who say that in paradise
you expect forty- seven virgins for your marine dick you know forty- seven
virgins. I say what a fucking paradise you know you' re making it
up, curate it forty- seven sexually experienced women. That' s what
I' m buying from you Between you coming and not coming, they'
re riding between them. That' s cool. Yes, sir, it
' s true. It' s true, we don' t really find
ourselves in this situation. I don' t believe in anything. I don
' t believe in the existence of anything. I don' t think anything
exists. There is no God, no God exists. Let' s see
they say that God created the world in seven days and the last day off
go fucking faggot. I have turned the seven days of the week into rest
Who lives like God? Now, uh, I ask, I ask,
uh, seriously. Besides, if God were Spanish, he would have created
the world at the last minute and bad he would have told him and this
shit calatravajaaaa. And the arranged calatrava wing is the same man who designed Holy
Week. Because that' s very unpleasant. I' m so sorry,
guys with caps, others whipping each other, and then we satanics are the
ones who do a relaxing Santa week, people enjoy you, people look good,
not pussy, which is that people who have faith have to carry some
saints who weigh 70, 000 tons. Man make some span saints because those
people will have faith, but they will have a back. You don'
t know I say I' m true some light saints that you can bring
us in and out of the Church several times, do procession races fucking Santadeo
against San Nicanor with overtakings. You know you see there' s excitement,
they' re looking for the show. Not Easter football teams. For example,
Real Madrid would be the official team for Easter. They play Ramos Cristiano
Dimoria Casillas, who is a martyr and Florentino Pérez, who is a superior
and good and pepe being that is determinative. No, I wouldn' t
miss anyone there, it wouldn' t be okay. No, but there
are those who look like changes in the Church. The Church has to adapt
to society. This new pope seems to be changing it. Everything is very
revolutionary. Well, maybe he' s branding a rooster and then it'
s all lies. But, well, looks like the guy' s got
good intentions. Thank you. Not really. You know the old Pope abandoned
us, the German pastor left us. I said something about not being true.
Now we have an Argentine Pope, the first Argentine to claim to be
only the Pope. No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This
has never been seen before. I really would have preferred the black pope.
I was very of the black pope. I would have liked a black pope,
Dominican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, a daddy not seriously, someone who
goes out and tells people like Jesucrista, told the people of Judea, the
people of Judea, dog, dog and background I like gasoline or Jesus Christ
move hips, if you are the king of Christians with panties. Well,
this fantasy. I' ve already gotten carried away. Excuse me, uh,
excuse me In any case, a good- looking dad. That'
s good. Not those preachers who go to the subway. I don'
t know if you' ve seen them first thing in the morning and they
start the messiah will come down from the sky to sow the apocalypse. You
' ll die, preachers, one day I approached one and you tell him
shut up that it' s me how to end up with a madman being
crazier than him. You know that works. No, but I didn'
t come here to talk to you about the difference between good and evil,
because I am all adults and you know that the difference between good and evil
is wider with a good lawyer involved, that is to say tell Kams.
He can explain it perfectly. Not in that sense. No, but come
on. I didn' t come here to make that kind of explanation.
I am not the son of God, I am not the son of Satan.
I' m the crisis, I' m Cris and Chris for friends
you thought you were going to sell flats all your life and sons of Puta.
You didn' t take into account the power of Chris and I had
to get everyone scared with how good I was at home. But, well,
you have to pay the mortgage, you have to make a living.
It' s very wrong, uh, my mother, there' s the
depleted uranium, almost uranium mania, yeah, really, uh that' s
like a name of village uranium seriously. Before, they used to tell you
a little nuclear power. It was going well as if I were talking to
you, I was taking you out of the coffee. You know, but
now, after Fukushima, no one believes in nuclear power. Imagine that the
next Gotzila movie is going to come out rebuilding Japan as to where it was
freaking out. No. It' s a bad thing. Markets don'
t believe in us. The other day I went down to my fruit maker
and told him why you didn' t do it. This true and good
did not answer me, but I took a couple of beautiful onions that doesn
' t take it away from you. Nobody. It' s a bad
thing. It' s a very bad thing, but don' t worry
because in Europe, in Europe, they' re going to rescue us.
Europe used to bring big intellectuals like discards and now brings others like cuts.
Eh, yes Europe, the old continent now known as Karrefur. They have
decided, thank you, that the solution to our problems is cuts. I
have to cut my pussy, change their handcraft, passionately paint and coloring a
more cheerful thing. And we have to cut back on education that' s
gotten out of hand. And this is the country overeducated. No, seriously,
it' s an excess, this is a gaffapasta logy. You know,
no, no, really. You don' t know. You don
' t know how serious that is. And you put tea of five And
it' s all about scholarship and knowledge. Had the ninis fight like hear
it' s called the bantista, who' s a spiritist. Hey,
no, fuck me. We cannot afford all this from now on in schools.
We' re not going to teach kids how to write with commas points
accents parenthesis, because that' s a printing money you' re throwing at
the end of the year. It' s a money you throw away because
then they end up in whatsappc come see, come eh ben and conjugating in
moticonos that that' s the dicks, eh what a man and that people
before were of numbers or letters, but these generations of signs, that'
s very rare. Not then, if our children have to grow up to
be idiots, our children grow up to be idiots. But the square budget,
that' s the important thing, to square the budget, uh that
' s and by the way, another whim that you' ve taken the
working class to live, that can' t be this health thing, that
you' re all in a health that gives you cover. From now on
are we going to make cuts in sanitation on October 12th? It will only
open on the 12th of October. Yeah, I' m sorry. If
you go to someone else' s hospital, then you cure a frog'
s ass. If it doesn' t heal today, we' ll see,
we' ll see. Eh and of course, if you have to
die, you die. And if you have to die, you die.
But the square budget, that' s what' s important. Cuadrate the
budget. And you have to balance the budget, because you have to compete
and you have to produce. Prauthir and competition compete and produce. It sounds
like a fucking song from here in Africa, sung by Hitler EP Competition and
you produce And you have to compete with chilos. How the fuck do you
compete with a Chinese man a machine programmed to smoke, spit and work?
How do you compete with a chaino if a cheo retires walking into the light.
How you compete with a non- che, how we' re going
to compete with the Chinese, with the child unemployment in this country, children
who don' t work, and the Chinese over the years are already sewing
balls. For us. We can' t afford children either if children have
to work. The children work, but the square budget very well. How
quickly you understood, uh, because this is trying to explain crack and nobody
understands it. I' ve got half a frightful legislature left over. I
can' t allow the children, but neither can the elderly and the retired.
I don' t know if there are people here who are going to
retire from this game or pretend to. I' m so sorry. Our
elders are a luxury we cannot afford. I' m sorry, I'
m sorry, we' re gonna have to talk to these people. It
' s just that I have a lot of experience showing work. Hey what
' s that about charging and not working like that, you can' t
compete. Spanish retired, please leave the world in an orderly fashion. I
' m sorry, I' m sorry, we' re gonna get the
windows off the Segovia bridge and get them going. Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey. Nice, don' t let them see suffering,
eh that they do. Like the synchronized notation to the crazy little mermaid,
hey, yeah, yeah, and if there' s one alive,
let' s ask for it with the petanque. You know, but budget
moves great friends. Anyway. Another of the great novelties of the neoliberal era
is the liberal labor forgiveness reform I am always wrong. A liberal labor pardon
reform must be made in order to make the labour market more flexible The labour
market must be made more flexible to a point where unfair dismissal of a worker
will be considered a tribute to the worker, and so the worker will compensate
his boss for the other whim you have taken, so that an employee can
be dismissed and hired several times a day according to productivity and economic results,
creating new methods of revolutionary layoffs, such as comparative dismissal. You get to
work, you get fired, and at the exit you get hired in half
and you go home that doesn' t know very well what happened. It
' s a feeling, a mez co lance not that you liked, uh,
you got a fired face that you shit ca. You know that young
people are firing meat. EH. In any case, enough with the regrets,
enough with the complaints. I have the solution I could only have it.
I' m clear. We have to make a Spanish revolution. But
the revolution will be sexual, or it will be hispanish sexual revolution. Yes,
gentlemen, we cannot compete with the Chinese because they are professional slaves.
We can' t compete with the Germans because they' re real sons of
the Great Whore. Then we have to compete with Dominicans, who are poorer,
but fuck more. Until when we' re gonna let my citizens go
to bed every night without fucking. The movement is shown by fucking, friends,
because a well- fucked Spaniard goes better everywhere in his fucking life.
That' s why I' m going to found the first political party worried
that you' re left- wing or right- wing, you' re
working or you' re getting fucked well. Partido Popular bla Partido Popular nor
a Spaniard without fucking a commitment of everyone. I don' t want women,
I don' t want husbands, I don' t want lovers,
I want militants. People who fail for Spain, fuckers, natos who sleep
with people more and more unpleasant than them. These people will receive money from
the state for personal damage and will be considered the hero of the homeland.
What a fucking Popular Party, not a Spaniard without fucking everyone' s engagement.
In the People' s Party we are going to call general elections.
Yes, sir We' re here. We are fully in favour of global
warming. A Partido Popular, not a Spaniard without fucking a commitment of everything.
I' m worried about young people seriously, these people who won'
t be able to access decent housing and they' re going to have to
make love in a shithole or in a room next to their parents for you
I' m going to build follódromos. Yes, Mr Big, what buildings
where you can fuck in the company of all your fucking Facebook. Yes,
friends, Popular Party, not a Spaniard without fucking a commitment of all,
because to fuck us between four, let' s fuck each other man.
Yes, Mr Popular Party, not a Spaniard without fucking everyone' s engagement.
You will be my excitation minister, yes, and you will be my
minister of making it Popular Party or a Spaniard without fucking a commitment from everyone.
I' m gonna fuck you all. You want to fuck me.
That' s how I like it. Friends, there are some who believe
that the solution to this crisis is to give everyone a pick and a shovel
and come and bite. I say pussy and what miners protest. And besides,
if we all get itchy, we' re gonna get the world to
dismy in the middle of the universe like an effervescent aspirin. It' s
nothing more. And others say the solution is to put a guillotine in the
village squares and cut the politicians and bankers' heads off. I can'
t be in favor of something as wild as the beak and the stop.
But, my friends, don' t lose faith. Things are fucked up
but don' t lose faith. The human being is wonderful. What happens
is that you don' t notice, you notice and you' re here
conservative, you' ve been offended. I have to tell you that I
have things of conservative mentality that I deeply respect. I also like to fuck
without a condom many times